It sounds like you want to do option 1.
I would suggest you consider option 4: do it yourself. For several reasons: you said you're both knowledgeable, and your husband likes passive investing, and you don't like paying the fees. Considering that you're paying $20K to $25K per year to the wealth managers, you could consider doing it yourself to be a part time job that pays you $20K to $25K per year tax free risk free. Another thing you can do is compare the $20K to $25K you're sending to them compared to the $84K you spend.
Getting out of the ETFs over time is not rocket science. You sell them and buy what you want. You can rip off the bandaid and do it all in one year, possibly with significant tax consequences. Or you can spread it out over a number of years, probably with lower tax consequences. Given no retirement accounts and no SS and no mortgage, your tax return should be pretty simple. You can use the Case Study Spreadsheet by
@MDM to figure out how much in capital gains you'll pay - just mock up your existing tax return then add various amounts of capital gains to see the effects.
As far as someone helping out with your finances, you have nobody younger in your family? A niece or nephew or younger cousin? Perhaps a younger friend who you trust? If there is really nobody, I'm not sure what to suggest - perhaps if you find a good CPA they can make suggestions. At the very least you can simplify to the minimal number of accounts and automate as much as you can (bills, the $7K monthly draw, SS deposits eventually, etc.) so there is less work for you and whoever eventually takes over. AARP Foundation Tax Aide and similar organizations will do your taxes for you for free most likely (no need to be an AARP member).