To answer your original question, the TLDR answer is: it probably makes sense to save at least $200,000 in your 401k no matter how bad the fees are. And $400,000 to $500,000 is quite attractive as well.
Why? Well, let's make a few assumptions. In retirement, your primary source of taxable income will be from your 401k/IRA. The idea is to have at least some taxable income every year right up to the year you die. That way you can take advantage of at least the standard deductions and exemptions. Right now, that's about $10,000. A 5% withdrawl rate of $200,000 is $10,000 a year. As such, you'll have traded your original tax rate and turned it into 0%. You're probably in the 15 to 25% bracket right now. Why a higher 5% withdrawl rate? Well, you don't want the 401k to be around past your death. The idea is to get it all out of there (and hopefully spent) by the year of your death. Yeah, that's a neat trick to pull off.
So, the next stop is around $400,000 to $500,000 in your 401k. At this point you're still only in the 10% bracket while trying to pull the money out over your retirement years. That's still a lot better than 15 to 25%.
Finally, are you in a high state income tax state like CA? I am. I make $100,000. After my deductions, I'm still way deep in the 25% bracket. Plus 9.3% CA. So, a 401k basically allows me to trade a nearly 35% tax rate for a 0 to 10% tax rate in retirement (assuming I leave CA at that point). As such, the 401k is really a slam dunk even with the high fees. In fact, for those of us in the 25% bracket the 401k makes sense all the way up to a balance of a million dollars...you'd still only be pulling from the 15% bracket up to that point. 15% is still way better than 35%. Even with the 401k fees eating it up.
Look at it this way. If you plan to retire early, the high 401k fees are only for a short time. As soon as you change jobs or FIRE, you can roll it all out to your own IRA and low fees.