Roommate proofing?

[crocheted_stache]

This post may end up being me talking out loud, but ideas would be welcome.

We have one guy renting a spare bedroom. We'll call him Guy.

Guy is in his 50s and friendly enough. He pays his rent on time. He's been here something upward of 15 years, I think. I'm okay with having him around, as a person. I'm used to him being here. This is not about how to get him to leave. It's about how to make his room safer for him and for us, and to keep it maintained to some minimum standard however much longer he stays.

Guy just about the least effective housekeeper I've ever met.

I'm no Martha Stewart, but I take the trash out. I can see dirt, and I can keep things clean enough to be safe and hygienic. I'm actually a pretty good cleaner, when I get around to it, and I get around to it often enough to prevent permanent damage and generally keep things at an acceptable-to-me level.

Guy is borderline one of those messy home intervention shows, minus the pests, pets, and the worst of the out-and-out trash. I'd been leaving his room mostly to him, and it seems to have been a bit too long since I checked. We're doing some renovations, which have resulted in getting to see his room, and there's an awful lot to do.

He accumulates things he doesn't know how to dispose of properly (broken electronics, almost empty bottles of cleaners). There's some serious dust going on. I don't know if he has dandruff or what, but there's some pretty serious fuzz under his bed where he's never vacuumed. He's very sensitive to light, so he's been using thumbtacks to put up and take down a piece of blackout fabric that he uses as a curtain to keep the light out. There are probably a hundred other thumbtacks in the wall, holding all manner of notes and memos. There's a spot in the path between the bed and the closet where the carpet is completely bald. (The carpet is 30 years old, but the rest of the it is at least identifiable as carpet.)

There's a big, oily spot where his head hits the wall when he's in bed. I tried scrubbing at it, but I think it's going to need more than spray cleaner and a rag. I did manage to clean some of the dust and cobwebs, the grubby spots around the light switch and doorknob, and a couple of splatters of food or drink on the walls.

Guy also does not report problems. In some cases, it may be because he doesn't recognize that there is a problem. In other cases, I think it's because he's scared of coming and talking to us. (It's him, not us.) 

We're going to be painting. We're going to be putting in new flooring of some sort. What I'm looking to do is reduce further damage to the room. Here's what I've thought of so far:

- Install hard flooring. Guy does not like this idea, because it's louder, and I don't blame him. I don't think he's seen just how much dirt carpet can soak up and hold onto, and I don't think he understands how filthy it is in there. I'll find him an area rug on Buy Nothing/Craigslist.
- Paint. Fill in the gazillion thumb-tack holes. Put stain-blocking primer on the oily head spot after washing off as much as will come off with TSP.
- Get him a headboard tall enough to take the brunt of that spot. It's a basic twin bed frame.
- Get him a dresser to replace the completely broken one with the stuck bottom drawer with no front, unless he has the missing front and we can repair it. Being able to get there to take out and put away things he has should remove at least one excuse.
- Hang real blackout curtains on a real curtain rod. If they need to come closer to the wall or meet in the middle to keep out enough light, get magnetic closures.
- Get big cork boards or magnetic white boards for the walls that are currently serving this purpose. I'm hoping I can find something at an office liquidator or on Craigslist/equivalent. Make a rule that outside the cork boards, he can pin a poster and leave it there. Any memos that will change or move go only on the boards.
- Insist that I need to wash the window once a year, even though it's going to cause Guy to panic. Use the opportunity to push for clutter/trash cleanup, look for maintenance issues, and ask how stuff is working.
- Offer to figure out how to dispose of things he doesn't know how to handle. (I've already done this in the effort to be able to get in there to do the rest of the work.)
- Upgrade the ceiling light fixture to one that's enclosed, to reduce how much dust accumulates inside. Probably also upgrade to LED-native, because putting LED replacement bulbs into fixtures designed for incandescent bulbs seems to make them overheat.
- For the adjacent bathroom, keep the plumbing operable but upgrade the cosmetic stuff only once he's gone.

Does anyone know of anything I missed here? Can anyone recommend kinds of flooring, light fixtures, blinds/curtains, or anything else I should be installing here? Guy is incapable of good housekeeping. The best we're going to manage is keep it to needing a thorough cleaning and fresh paint when he finally moves out.

[lthenderson]

If I were in your situation, I would give Guy notice that he needs to move before I spend time and money fixing up his bedroom.

[LaineyAZ]

Does he have an expected move-out date, or is he generally expecting to rent from you indefinitely?

Is there a lease?  If yes, I'd add a provision for a walk-through inspection every 6 months at least.  I know it appears he would be anxious about that, but as a landlord I think you have the right to require at least that.  It would reduce the trash and dirt build-up. 
Would he accept a quarterly professional clean?  I know that's not typically provided to a renter, but if you like him enough and want to keep on top of your space, I think that could help.

[Morning Glory]

If you go with hard flooring,  Costco has inexpensive indoor/outdoor area rugs that are fairly thin but are heavy enough that they don't get sucked in when you vacuum, and they won't be ruined if something spills (i have a big one under my dining table). I also have blackout curtains from there that work pretty well, though I'm not picky about slivers of light.  I've seen led light fixtures in there for pretty cheap too.

If you paint the walls he will probably just put more holes in them but I get just needing to paint after 15 years. I'd do the "landlord special" and not worry about filling every hole.

Habitat Restore always has good solid  bed frames and dressers. I think I also got my son a cork board there.

[crocheted_stache]

If I were in your situation, I would give Guy notice that he needs to move before I spend time and money fixing up his bedroom.

I get that many landlords would have kicked Guy out a long time ago, but as far as we're concerned, he's not going anywhere. The repair that prompted this round of activity is happening to the whole house, and it's time.

Does he have an expected move-out date, or is he generally expecting to rent from you indefinitely?

Is there a lease?  If yes, I'd add a provision for a walk-through inspection every 6 months at least.  I know it appears he would be anxious about that, but as a landlord I think you have the right to require at least that.  It would reduce the trash and dirt build-up. 
Would he accept a quarterly professional clean?  I know that's not typically provided to a renter, but if you like him enough and want to keep on top of your space, I think that could help.

There is a lease. I might even still be able to find a copy.

Guy is anxious about everybody, but he's more familiar with and therefore somewhat less anxious about DH and me. Also, we're a whole lot likelier to be around when he is around and awake. He exists on something like a swing shift schedule, and part of what's freaking him out about the work is that people he doesn't know are here making noise starting at 8am. Maybe I'll offer him a choice between a pro and us. It's going to be like letting a toddler choose which shoes to put on when staying home barefoot is not an option.

@Morning Glory , thank you. That's the kind of answer I was really looking for. I noticed the lights at Costco last time I went. I didn't see the blackout curtains, but I'd heard about them. (For basic grocery runs at Costco, I usually allow myself a browsing lap around any one of the column 1 shelves where the housewares, tools, and electronics are. It seems to be a good compromise for not wasting too much time coming up with things to buy that weren't on my list and seeing what's new.)

The funny thing is, I think that room may have housed the previous owner's teenager. I filled a gazillion push-pin holes before painting when I first moved in. This time, I think some of the spots will need a generous application of spackle just to have a surface there to paint, but I'm certainly not going to spend hours hunting down every pinhole or trying to reproduce the texture.

[deborah]

When I renovated my house many years ago, I emptied one room, fixed it and moved everything from the next room into it, gradually moving every function to a different room. It sounds like it will be difficult to move guy out of the room to fix it and then move him back in. Maybe doing something like this would help.

Curtains let in light at the sides top and bottom as well as the middle. I’ve reduced this because light = cold air. I have curtain rods that go beyond the window by a foot at each end to stop the light coming in at the sides. This also allows the entire window to light the room when the curtains are open. The curtains go to the floor (which probably wouldn’t be a good idea for you, but having them hang further down makes a difference). And I have pelmets so the air doesn’t come in the top.

Is guy interested in participating in the work? It may help him to do some of it if he’s skilled enough, because it’s not someone else.

[Fru-Gal]

It honestly doesn’t sound that bad to me. I wish I knew how to make my adult kid do better with room maintenance. You seem to have done a great job with evaluating the issues.

Amazon sells cork square tiles to stick to the wall. You can also buy it in sheets. They’re pretty thin but I have used them to cork board up a big section of wall for photo collages.

I wonder if a robot vacuum would help too?

Maybe a three-bin system for recycling/disposal.

[Sibley]

I would make a list of things you want him to tell you about and a list of chores need to be done and at what frequency, and then give him an easy way to communicate with you. That method of communication should NOT be verbal or face to face. Also, put it on your calendar to specifically check in with him about things. Since you're ok with him staying, it sounds like limiting the potential damage is the best you can manage.

Agreed to check out Habitat Restore.
For paint - go with a higher gloss sheen. It's easier to clean and will hold up better.
Mix of cord boards and white boards might be the way to go, but ask him.
Maybe designate an area in the garage or wherever that he can put anything to get rid of? He could do that in the middle of the night if he wanted.

Overall, I feel bad for this guy. He really needs treatment for his anxiety, and its unlikely to happen.

[crocheted_stache]

I would make a list of things you want him to tell you about and a list of chores need to be done and at what frequency, and then give him an easy way to communicate with you. That method of communication should NOT be verbal or face to face. Also, put it on your calendar to specifically check in with him about things. Since you're ok with him staying, it sounds like limiting the potential damage is the best you can manage.

Agreed to check out Habitat Restore.
For paint - go with a higher gloss sheen. It's easier to clean and will hold up better.
Mix of cord boards and white boards might be the way to go, but ask him.
Maybe designate an area in the garage or wherever that he can put anything to get rid of? He could do that in the middle of the night if he wanted.

Overall, I feel bad for this guy. He really needs treatment for his anxiety, and its unlikely to happen.

The whole house is eggshell with (if I recall) semi-gloss for the trim. The paint seems to be pretty far gone on the oily head spot and the spot on the door where it's been handled the most.

I already did tell him where to put stuff for me to dispose of. The spot is currently in the living room, and that's going to need to change eventually. At the moment, there's enough other work going on that it's the right place. I need to start following through figuring out what to do with some of the stuff.

The checklists and the schedules are coming.

We got the parts yesterday, and today, we fixed the toilet (leaky flapper), the sagging closet rod, and replaced the shower curtain rod.

It's not really my business what his difficulties are (although I have some guesses) or what he's doing about it. Based on bits of mail and such, I think he is working with somebody. Whether that or anything else is adequate help, I don't know. For all I know, he struggled even more before I knew him.

To kick him out would mean for him to start over somewhere with someone less understanding and completely unfamiliar, in a shitty, scammy, overpriced housing market. It doesn't seem like any of that serves a purpose. The room is going to need what it needs when he someday moves out. If I can prevent permanent damage to the new flooring and so on until then, fresh paint and elbow grease can happen when it needs to.