Long Story; Not Short
So, I bought a new grease gun (the person who usually loaned me his moved away) from Walmart and went out to grease the electric golf cart, which we use for running errands around town (it's legal here). First I had to assemble the grease gun, which was easy, but no grease came out. Read the instructions, which said to unscrew the cap and let the air out, so I did. Unfortunately, the grease was under pressure and about half the grease squirted out onto the ground before I was able to get the cap back on.
Backed the cart out of the garage and noticed the driveway was covered with ants. No problem; I have bug spray. Pumped up the container and started spraying. Kablooie! The bottom split open dumping bug spray onto the driveway. Invented some new words. In a panic I tried to release the pressure, but this bug spray container didn't have a release method, so it continued until I figured out to lay it on its side so the air could escape - success. Now I had to deal with at least a pint of bug spray running down the driveway. There are lots of kids in the neighborhood and I didn't want it running into the street where they play. So found a broom and swept the puddles around until half the driveway had been "treated" with bug spray.
Now get the grease gun and get on the ground to finish what I started. Pump, pump, pump, ... and no grease coming out. Released the pressure, took off the cap and determined that the grease gun was defective and not pushing the grease up to the pump. Manually dug out some grease and shoved it into the pump, and screwed the cap back on. Pumped that into the first grease zerk. Repeat multiple times to get the other parts greased. Clean up the grease in the driveway from the first fail. Left the bug bottle laying in the driveway for later. Went in and took a shower.
When I told my DW this story, her first question was, "you didn't use the good broom, did you?" Got another ah s**t added to my collection.
Normally this would be a five minute job. Next time I'll try to find someone with a low, flat trailer to take it to the cart shop for service.