The Money Mustache Community

Learning, Sharing, and Teaching => Case Studies => Topic started by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 02:30:22 PM

Title: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 02:30:22 PM
// UPDATE //

Blog: Frugal living blog (http://stackingpennies.org)

// TABLE OF CONTENTS //

Pages 1-2: Case Study Talk
Pages 3-5:Grocery budget, Recipes, and coworker lunches (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/the-beatles-case-study/100/)
Pages 6-9: Rental home roof, couches, and TV's (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/the-beatles-case-study/350/)
Pages 9-11: Income talk and The need for a budget (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/the-beatles-case-study/450/)
Page 12:Mrs. Beatles grocery win (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/the-beatles-case-study/550/)
Pages 13-14: Beatles buys a TV (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/the-beatles-case-study/600/)
Page 15: Paying off credit cards (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/the-beatles-case-study/700/)
Page 16-17: Should Beatles sell the rental? (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/the-beatles-case-study/750/)
Page 18: Beatles sets up a property tax payment plan (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/the-beatles-case-study/850/)
Pages 19-21: Rental home #2 is added to the mix (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/the-beatles-case-study/900/)
Page 21-22: Mrs. Beatles joins the conversation (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/the-beatles-case-study/1000/)

------------------


Life Situation: Married, 30, 2 Kids

Gross Salary/Wages: $5128.12 / month

Pre-tax deductions: $634.46 / month

$81.90 - Dental
$87.50 - HSA
$346.70 - Health
$25.64 - 401k
$25.64 - Roth 401k
$67.08 - 401k Repayment on loan


Rental Income, Actual Expenses, and Depreciation:  $595 NET ($1,100 rent - $130 HELOC - $375 taxes)


Adjusted Gross Income: $5088.52 / month


Taxes: $619.93 / month

$116.60 - Federal
$285.95 - Social Security
$66.88 - Medicare
$147.90 - NYS
$2.60 - NY SDI

Expenses:

 
ITEMMONTHLY| TOTAL |INTEREST RATE
GARBAGE36
CALE/INTERNET114
WATER50
GEICO AUTO135
MASSAGE70
AUTO LOAN39335916.54%
MORTGAGE1761164,7175.125%
FUEL200
GAS/ELECTRIC150
GROCERIES1100
EATING OUT600
CAMERAS25
PARENTS030,K
CC119485625.24%
CC2134449524.49
CC32550523.24%
CC42545210.23%
CC52069218.49%
CC67579724.15
CC7 (STORE CARDS)100202025.24
Furniture Loan276195025.00
TOTAL547246,405

Breakdown of mortgage payment:

Principal and interest   $908.86
Property insurance   $72.42
Mortgage insurance premium (MIP)   $115.44
City tax   $167.57
Other tax   $458.52
Late charges   $38.66
Total    $1,761.47


Assets:

Primary home – Owe $164,717, worth $175k
Rental – Owe $25k HELOC + $9k taxes, worth $70k to $80k
Car – Owe $4,500, worth $15k to $17k
Cash - $850
401k - $5,000

Liabilities:

Income tax - $40k
Property tax on rental - $9k
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 07, 2017, 02:39:30 PM
What are the interest rates on your loans? You also mentioned in your first thread you owed money to your parents, and to the IRS. List these as well.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 07, 2017, 02:41:10 PM
This is a good start, I'm glad you are sticking it out :)

You should include all of your liabilities as well - the 40,000 Tax bill, owed property taxes, everything. You won't be able to get a totally clear picture unless it is all included.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 07, 2017, 02:45:07 PM
Questions  Mostly from discussion in your other thread

Age of kids - how long before they are in preschool?
Federal tax owed is not showing
Pre-tax deductions mentions everything but taxes, are your taxes being deducted and are they the proper amount?
Cable/internet - how much of that is cable and how much internet?  What would it be if will it be when you cut cable?  Time to make a phone call.

Interest rates?  on mortages?  Credit cards?  This information matters.

Don't be surprised if you get lots of questions/comments, most posters end up revising their initial budget several times because it is easy to overlook things.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 02:45:14 PM
This is a good start, I'm glad you are sticking it out :)

You should include all of your liabilities as well - the 40,000 Tax bill, owed property taxes, everything. You won't be able to get a totally clear picture unless it is all included.

Thanks!

Added those!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 07, 2017, 02:46:31 PM
This is a good start, I'm glad you are sticking it out :)

You should include all of your liabilities as well - the 40,000 Tax bill, owed property taxes, everything. You won't be able to get a totally clear picture unless it is all included.

Thanks!

Added those!

There still aren't interest rates listed on anything. Especially on the CCs, you need to know what those are.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 07, 2017, 02:50:47 PM
Also, look at this: http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-to-write-a-'case-study'-topic/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-to-write-a-'case-study'-topic/) - most people post the case studies on the Ask A Mustachian forum (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/)), not here.  You will get a lot more feedback there.  A mod can move this thread over if you ask, or just start another one and direct people here to it.

I posted this ^ on your original thread as well.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 07, 2017, 02:55:08 PM
Mod Note: I'll move it for you :) Thanks Retired, I missed which forum it's in.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 07, 2017, 02:56:19 PM
You and your spouse have had hobbies that revolved around spending money on your house, on consumer goods, and eating out.  That has stopped today, and your new hobby is saving money and paying off debt.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: CheapScholar on January 07, 2017, 03:03:42 PM
The question above about cutting the cable is a good one.  Find out what a decent internet package would cost without cable.  That's a call you could probably make now.  Like, right now.  Is your local library decent?  Usually plenty of great movies and tv shows on dvd are available. 

I disagree with what someone else said about possibly selling your primary residence.  The value of your home is not excessive, and you need a place to live.  Apartment living can suck, especially with kids. After you get out of IRS trouble and CC debt, get at least 20% equity in your home pronto.  Not sure how long you've owned your home, but maybe contesting your home value for property taxes is worth a trip to your city hall/county headquarters. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 03:10:18 PM
Also, look at this: http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-to-write-a-'case-study'-topic/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-to-write-a-'case-study'-topic/) - most people post the case studies on the Ask A Mustachian forum (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/)), not here.  You will get a lot more feedback there.  A mod can move this thread over if you ask, or just start another one and direct people here to it.

I posted this ^ on your original thread as well.

Yes, I saw it!

I followed the instructions.

I didn't see it say anwhere that it has to be posted anyplace particular, sorry if I missed that!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Yonco on January 07, 2017, 03:10:51 PM
Gas and electric total 1500/month!!!? That's 2 years worth for me(1500$), can you elaborate more on these bills! With that list of debt, start the dave ramsey plan and get a snowball rolling and knock a few small debts off the list quick!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 03:12:30 PM
This is a good start, I'm glad you are sticking it out :)

You should include all of your liabilities as well - the 40,000 Tax bill, owed property taxes, everything. You won't be able to get a totally clear picture unless it is all included.

Thanks!

Added those!

There still aren't interest rates listed on anything. Especially on the CCs, you need to know what those are.

I dont have the statements on me anymore, but I beleive they are all between 20% and 25%.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 03:34:33 PM
Questions  Mostly from discussion in your other thread

Age of kids - how long before they are in preschool?
Federal tax owed is not showing
Pre-tax deductions mentions everything but taxes, are your taxes being deducted and are they the proper amount?
Cable/internet - how much of that is cable and how much internet?  What would it be if will it be when you cut cable?  Time to make a phone call.

Interest rates?  on mortages?  Credit cards?  This information matters.

Don't be surprised if you get lots of questions/comments, most posters end up revising their initial budget several times because it is easy to overlook things.

One is preschool age. The other is a little one.

Fed tax is right under Gross Income (above). Taxes: $615 / month

Cable and Internet is an even split with my company. Well, almost. About a $5 difference.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 07, 2017, 03:40:26 PM
Also, look at this: http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-to-write-a-'case-study'-topic/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-to-write-a-'case-study'-topic/) - most people post the case studies on the Ask A Mustachian forum (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/)), not here.  You will get a lot more feedback there.  A mod can move this thread over if you ask, or just start another one and direct people here to it.

I posted this ^ on your original thread as well.

Yes, I saw it!

I followed the instructions.

I didn't see it say anywhere that it has to be posted anyplace particular, sorry if I missed that!

It doesn't HAVE to be here, but it is the best place for it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MDM on January 07, 2017, 03:41:36 PM
Pre-tax deductions: $806 / month (health, dental, vision, 401k, 401k loan, HSA)
This is a good start, I'm glad you are sticking it out :)

beatles: please give individual amounts for your pre-tax deductions.

swick: please insert "Individual amounts for" before 401k in the "Pre-tax deductions: 401k, HSA, FSA, IRA, insurance, etc. - whatever you have" line in How To: Write a "Case Study" Topic (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-to-write-a-'case-study'-topic/).  OP is not the only one to interpret this as a request for a lump sum amount, so we should make it clearer.  Thanks.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ltt on January 07, 2017, 03:47:36 PM
Gas/electric is very high--$1500 per month?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 07, 2017, 03:57:37 PM
Sell car.  Pay off loan.  Buy a $7000 car (or less), and then you can pay off C1, C3, C4, C5, and C6.  How awesome is that?!

Or maybe you should use it to pay your rental tax bill so it doesn't get taken away from you.  That $500/month is going to come in handy for paying off your debts.

Thanks for the merchant spending post in your other thread.  A lot of them I don't know what they are, but it definitely looks like you're spending a lot on Target all of which is unnecessary.  I'm sure the others are similar.  Agree with other poster that said your hobbies (or your wife's) are shopping and decorating.  No more.

When going without new cars and fancy clothes and crown molding, I like to remind myself that while we can see our neighbor's fancy cars, we can't see their bank statements.  Put your effort into building your net worth, not your outer appearance. 

The Millionaire Next Door is a great book to help change your mindset on real wealth vs the appearance of wealth.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bee21 on January 07, 2017, 03:58:09 PM
Kudos on hanging on and ready to face this. I stayed away from the other thread because i suspected trolling, but if you are real and ready, this is my 2 cents.
1. Face the biggest problem,  procrastination and make those phonecalls, send those emails. Call the IRS tomorrow and ask them what you can do to fix your tax situation. Knowing what you have to do about this will affect your next move, selling the rental. IF your tax and credit card debts are accumulating at a scary level due to the accrued interest, there is no point in holding on to it, you will have to sell it and clear most of those debts. Call a few real estate agents and discuss selling it. Also, send an email to your coworkers tomorrow, saying that new year, new rules, due to the change of your circumstances you are no longer able to pay for those office lunches. No further details are necessary. They were lucky to have those free lunches, no the gravy train stops.
2. It is great that your wife is on board. She should be able to rein in the grocery spending, the clothes, the activities etc. Who is the big spender in the relationship?  That person should be in charge of paying bills and tracking spending yo face the reality.
3. Groceries and eating out. Cut eating out. 160 a week should be plenty for a fam of 4 (i am spending 170 and we have a high combined income and eat a lot). Totally doable. Do a stocktake and have a week of fridge/freeze meals. This should save you a pile and can be the start of your emergency fund. Make a list of the meals you like eating and cost them. This will help you, if you know there is 50 dollars left for food, you should be able to come up with a few 5 dollar meals.Also cost the food you are throwing away every week (i suspect there is a lot of waste with that spending. It is like throwing money away ). Plan your menus and buy the ingredients only. This should save you at least 20%, without making any drastic changes. There us no need to live on rice and beans if you plan your meals wisely. Don't buy any prepackaged stuff, bake some treats, eat fruits and vegies. I personally don't like Aldi, because the layout of the shop makes shopping with kids a nightmare (snack aisle at the entrance, pure hell with kids).but i shop in 3 stores, the closer supermarket for generics, the fancy one for the discou ted meat and the indian veggie shop. Your wife should totally take responsibilty for this and solve your grocery expenses problem.
4. The sad truth is, your income does not support your level of spending. Sure, we deserve the best of everything, but we can't afford it. You definitely can't afford your lifestyle, so set up a more realistic spending plan. Forget Hawai. Find sime cheap/free entertainment locally.
5. Increase your income. Can you/your wife take a weekend job until you clear out the debt?
6. There is plenty of free information around. Books, blogs websites inspiring you to spend less and sort out your finances. I recommend the frugalwoods (they are doing a january challenge right now), and the frugal queen, she is uk based, older than you, different lifestyle, but has been blogging for years and has some great tips about food and will help you reset your spending mindset. You and your wife willl need that.
7. Also work on your willpower, stop procrastination and get better organized. You need focus and determination to fix this.

Let us know how you go.people around here can be a bit rough, but they are helpful.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 07, 2017, 03:59:03 PM
Questions  Mostly from discussion in your other thread

Age of kids - how long before they are in preschool?
Federal tax owed is not showing
Pre-tax deductions mentions everything but taxes, are your taxes being deducted and are they the proper amount?
Cable/internet - how much of that is cable and how much internet?  What would it be if will it be when you cut cable?  Time to make a phone call.

Interest rates?  on mortages?  Credit cards?  This information matters.

Don't be surprised if you get lots of questions/comments, most posters end up revising their initial budget several times because it is easy to overlook things.

One is preschool age. The other is a little one.

Fed tax is right under Gross Income (above). Taxes: $615 / month

Cable and Internet is an even split with my company. Well, almost. About a $5 difference.

Getting solid information from you is like pulling teeth   ;-) 

Taxes - label them - federal taxes.  Do you have a state income tax?  Is it part of the $615?  Homework for you, are taxes being deducted properly?  You don't want to owe the IRA more for 2016 and 2017.

Kids - I am guessing 4 and 1-2?  While your wife is home with them could she also do daycare for another kid?  One the oldest starts pre-school would daycare for the younger one be affordable for her to go back to work?  It isn't just salary, she is accumulating side benefits, paying into SS, etc.  Balanced against that is increased costs for working. 

Go dig out CC statements and find interest rates.  Same for mortgages.

Cost of internet only?

Home phone (landline)?

"GAS/ELECTRIC   1500"  - is this for your house (I am assuming your renters pay their utilities?)  Again break it down, how much is gas, how much is electricity.   Gas is for heating?  Electricity runs what?  Do you have time of use pricing? Hot water is gas or electric?  We can't help if we don't know.


Can you and your wife sit down together (this is always a joint exercise, you both need to know where you are) and look at this budget and start identifying areas to cut?  And then post a third column beside your categories with revised (lower) values.

And start running mint or YNAB or set up an Excel spreadsheet or something, so you can identify spending more exactly.  "Groceries" for example, often include everything that was bought at a grocery store, which can also include necessary non-food things like TP and cleaners, and non-necessary things like magazines.  Not that I am against reading, but your reading should be at the library.

Homework for your wife:  she is now CEO and CFO of your family business, Beatles Inc.  She needs to do a total analysis of cost/benefit of everything being bought.  There is masses of information both on the forums and on the net in general on how to cut costs.  People post all the time here on how they cut their insurance, their food expenses, their everything, without losing any quality of life.  And I second the idea of signing up for the Frugalwoods super frugal January.  And really, read their whole blog, it is also full of wonderful ideas.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyMuMu on January 07, 2017, 04:10:57 PM
Good news. Your kids are really little so changes to your habits and diets will be much easier than if they were preteens or up.

One big question. You mentioned you were self-employed and that you bought lunch for the office. Are you a business owner of a place with employees? Or are you something like a realtor who works in an office with others? Either way, do you have an accountant doing your books? Are your business books sufficiently separated from your personal finances? Your income tax bill makes me a bit nervous you may have been ignoring other business financial things that could eventually impact your family budget.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 07, 2017, 04:38:27 PM
Questions  Mostly from discussion in your other thread

Age of kids - how long before they are in preschool?
Federal tax owed is not showing
Pre-tax deductions mentions everything but taxes, are your taxes being deducted and are they the proper amount?
Cable/internet - how much of that is cable and how much internet?  What would it be if will it be when you cut cable?  Time to make a phone call.

Interest rates?  on mortages?  Credit cards?  This information matters.

Don't be surprised if you get lots of questions/comments, most posters end up revising their initial budget several times because it is easy to overlook things.

One is preschool age. The other is a little one.


Perfect.  I think you should sell the house, and move into your rental as soon as the current lease is up.  By then, perhaps you can afford a bunk bed set from Craigslist and a pair of new mattresses.  If not, they are small enough they could share one twin sized mattress for a little while.  They just need to sleep with their heads near opposite ends of the bed, so their feet are close but not touching.  Yes, I have done this; and it works fine till their feet start tangling together at night.  It can work longer if they are close siblings.  I had a set of twin boys, and they did this for many years afterwards by choice, staggering their legs while sleeping at a slight angle in the bed.  Or they were spooning. I can't tell you how disturbing it is, as a father of boys, to find them spooning at night.  I had to start forcing them to sleep in their own bunks, twins are very close. 

Then you will have several years you can save up for a new down payment, so you can own a house for real next time; but only after these other debts are paid off.  In this way, you can keep the rental and it will be paid for by the time you move back out, and it will be all profit at that point.  You can do all this so you can move back out in 5 years, or even before your oldest enters 1st grade if you buckle down and really attack it.

Additional question, does your wife have some kind of physical impairment that would prevent her from cooking in a regular kitchen on a daily basis?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 07, 2017, 04:43:26 PM
Where are things like car insurance on your list? Are you keeping up with Federal taxes now?  Your list needs a whole lot more information on it.   

In any case.

1.) Get the rental on the market so that you can pay off the property tax and the IRS.  Failing to settle either could mean you lose the rental anyway. 

2.) Before paying off the IRS  - work with them - with an attorney if you want - to set up an offer in compromise.  You'll be able to make a lump sum once the house sells.  That will be a good way to get them to remove the penalties from what you owe.

3.) Don't go grocery shopping again until you have a plan to cut your bill in half or by 2/3.  Really.

4.) You and your wife need to read, read, read, and read more.  Get yourself educated and get your credit cards paid off. 

You are living it looks like 2 times beyond your means.  It hurts - but you have to cut back a lot.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: CheapScholar on January 07, 2017, 04:49:34 PM
Hmm, I respectfully disagree about selling your house.  Sell the rental and hustle and do what you need to do to build up your home equity.  If you currently lived in a McMansion, I would say sell.  But after realtor expenses and the hassle of moving I'm not sure it's a sound idea.  Your mortgage payment seems high for the home value, is it a 15 year mortgage?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Txtriathlete on January 07, 2017, 05:19:55 PM
What you are getting from this group is a very focused, very detailed action plan. They expect you to be as detailed and as focused as they are.  This is not liberal arts where something might be "about" two feet more or less. This is math class - exactly 2.634567 feet is the correct answer.

I just went through a similar drill with my two adult children and their spouses. They all struggled at first with being precise. It is hugely and critically important. "About" $10 may cause you to overdraft a checking account. "Around the 12th" may cause you to pay hundreds in late fees and interest payments.

Baby steps:

Write down exactly how much money comes into and goes out of your house.  Exactly and precisely - not "$10" - rather $9.78. Record every single transaction. This is a discipline exercise, you will struggle to capture everything, I suspect there is a lot of financial "leakage" in your day to day. Your monthly budget is going to come down to couch change before your situation gets better - get used to very fine granular accounting. "Beans" and "Wheat Thins" are not "groceries" - they are individual categories one of which is essential, and the other discretionary.

Challenge yourself and your spouse to a "zero spend day". Spend absolutely nothing. See how many you can string together in a row. See how many "stupid SUV people" you can count going into shopping centers and fast food restaurants - be condescending and patronizing - you need to change your worldview to one where "cheap" "frugal" and "free" are high compliments and "brand name" "full price" and "payments" are the worst insults. I'm not kidding. You've got 30 years of retail conditioning to overcome.


Your house is on fire. Your babies are burning. You should consider reading the posts about eating from dumpsters - I am not kidding. There are posts here about getting free food from grocery store dumpsters. If you stay on your current path and you won't have a choice in about a year.

I am a former spendaholic (spendypants) who made over $70,000 a year and at my worst had less than $40 disposable income in a month, the rest went for CC and other payments. I feel your pain. It's real, it is fixable but it ain't easy.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 05:28:47 PM
Gas and electric total 1500/month!!!? That's 2 years worth for me(1500$), can you elaborate more on these bills! With that list of debt, start the dave ramsey plan and get a snowball rolling and knock a few small debts off the list quick!

Typo!

Its 150 per month.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: 1967mama on January 07, 2017, 05:36:15 PM
Welcome here, Beatles! There is soooo much good information here! You will be amazed as you slash your spending!

I have to second getting hold of a copy of The Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn, preferably from the library or a used copy from Amazon. This book was my first exposure to living a frugal life, back in the 1990's when it was published. I reread it about once a year to tighten up my skills!

I come at frugality from a homemaker's point of view, and have raised a large family as a stay at home mom. As I learned in the TWG, I can earn more OR spend less. So I choose to look at all of my homecooking and free activities as a family as my way of contributing to the family balance sheet.

All the best to you and your wife as you pick up the pieces and rebuild your lives! Following with interest! Keep posting! Keep reading!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 05:38:26 PM
So, parents offered to pay the IRS debt a while back.

Said no for a couple reasons, but mainly because I didn't want to give the IRS the extra fees and penalties they tacked on and also because it gIves the parents the ability to have a say in what we spend money on.

Should I revisit having them pay it?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 07, 2017, 05:44:07 PM
So, parents offered to pay the IRS debt a while back.

Said no for a couple reasons, but mainly because I didn't want to give the IRS the extra fees and penalties they tacked on and also because it gIves the parents the ability to have a say in what we spend money on.

Should I revisit having them pay it?

Face punches incoming:
You OWE those fees and penalties. You did not pay your taxes. This is the punishment. That's how it works.

Sorry for the bad news, but it is time to grow up and stop blaming anyone else- YOU did this. YOU are in this mess. You did not get your identity stolen, or a bad creditor after a medical debt. No. You spent foolishly. You will get a LOT of harsh criticism if you keep trying to place external blame for YOUR bad choices.

How would you feel if your 4 year old cried because they were cold because they refused their mittens? Currently how we are feeling about your tax situation. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.

Now, that being said, talk to the IRS and see if you can get those reduced and a payment plan in place. Like other have referenced, a non profit that helps with debt negotiation could be a good idea. (Caveat: making sure they're legit)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 07, 2017, 05:47:01 PM
And for side reading, look at the threads where adult children are worrying about their parents' finances, and parents are worrying about their adult children's expenses.  Your parents need to prioritize their own finances, not yours, and you need to get out of this situation on your own.  Your parents already paid your CCs and you racked up another chunk on them.  Do it yourselves this time.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 05:49:16 PM
So, parents offered to pay the IRS debt a while back.

Said no for a couple reasons, but mainly because I didn't want to give the IRS the extra fees and penalties they tacked on and also because it gIves the parents the ability to have a say in what we spend money on.

Should I revisit having them pay it?

Face punches incoming:
You OWE those fees and penalties. You did not pay your taxes. This is the punishment. That's how it works.

Sorry for the bad news, but it is time to grow up and stop blaming anyone else- YOU did this. YOU are in this mess. You did not get your identity stolen, or a bad creditor after a medical debt. No. You spent foolishly. You will get a LOT of harsh criticism if you keep trying to place external blame for YOUR bad choices.

How would you feel if your 4 year old cried because they were cold because they refused their mittens? Currently how we are feeling about your tax situation. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.

Now, that being said, talk to the IRS and see if you can get those reduced and a payment plan in place. Like other have referenced, a non profit that helps with debt negotiation could be a good idea. (Caveat: making sure they're legit)

I understand.

I was just explaining why I said no at the time (almost a year ago).
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 07, 2017, 05:59:10 PM
Hmm, I respectfully disagree about selling your house.  Sell the rental and hustle and do what you need to do to build up your home equity.  If you currently lived in a McMansion, I would say sell.  But after realtor expenses and the hassle of moving I'm not sure it's a sound idea.  Your mortgage payment seems high for the home value, is it a 15 year mortgage?

Actually, the answer here would matter to my suggestion, since it is based somewhat on the monthly payment.  If it is a 15 year, don't move & don't refinance it, either.  Sell the rental.  If it is a 30 year mortgage with a terrible rate, sell the house and move into the rental.  Based upon your debt load, if it is a 30 year mortgage currently, you have zero prospects of refinancing it into a lower interest rate anyway; and you have much more equity and a much lower payment on the rental; so you would recover much quicker and come out the other side with real equity in a home, even if it wasn't the one you preferred to live in.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Allie on January 07, 2017, 06:10:11 PM
I'm looking at your numbers and on one hand think, this is doable, because you have a ton of fat to cut.  Massages and cameras and name brand snacks for a preschooler.  I chuckled because I have a couple preschoolers and know that they are completely at my mercy for all of their needs.  They maybe get to choose if they eat the apple or the banana.  Maybe.  If they want something else they will have to wait until they can go out and buy it themselves.  Since I'm mom and know that healthy foods and a solid financial plan for our future are more important than their desire for Doritos or whatever, I get to make the decisions.  :-)

On the other hand, I can't help but wonder what else you are spending on.  Do you also get haircuts, nails, buy makeup, get clothes, go to sporting events, do you take trips?  Do your kids play sports or go to lessons or activities?  Does your wife take them to the zoo, museum, or gym?  I can't help but think this isn't the full picture.  If you have mint, do a look back for the last 60-90 days, year is better, and see what it looks like.  Things like regular car maintenance, registration, annual fees, etc. can derail a budget pretty quickly.

I agree with everyone here.  Stop spending on everything today.  Cut cable, sell the rental, sell your car and get an older one, see if you can get a second job or if your wife can pick up a weekend gig or swing shift, eat beans and rice, etc.  Its going to feel painful for a moment, but that is a short term pain for a long term gain.

I can't wait to see how you are doing in a few months!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 06:43:47 PM
// UPDATED THE POST //

I added a lot more details, and dug down to get the exact amounts as requested.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 06:46:05 PM
Hmm, I respectfully disagree about selling your house.  Sell the rental and hustle and do what you need to do to build up your home equity.  If you currently lived in a McMansion, I would say sell.  But after realtor expenses and the hassle of moving I'm not sure it's a sound idea.  Your mortgage payment seems high for the home value, is it a 15 year mortgage?

30 year fixed.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 07, 2017, 06:47:20 PM
Well done! Thank you for adding the interest rate. A couple things stand out right away: that car loan has GOT to go. It's easy to get rid of- sell the car and buy something cheaper. And of course those credit cards are eating you alive!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 07, 2017, 06:49:23 PM
Another easy win: that car insurance seems high. When was the last time you compared rates? It'll take you an hour tops, and you could be saving up to $60/month - that's a pretty incredible hourly rate of return right there!

You have a ton of fat to trim. What is your game plan with expenses? There are still a lot of questions you haven't addressed, like whether you or your wife are the big spender, etc.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 06:50:31 PM
Well done! Thank you for adding the interest rate. A couple things stand out right away: that car loan has GOT to go. It's easy to get rid of- sell the car and buy something cheaper. And of course those credit cards are eating you alive!

I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my car loan balance.

I thought it was 4500 but its down to almost 3500 now.

It'll be paid off in 9 months.

Do you still think I should sell it?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Misstachian on January 07, 2017, 06:51:06 PM

 
ITEM|MONTHLY| TOTAL |INTEREST RATE
GARBAGE36
CALE/INTERNET114
WATER50
GEICO AUTO135
MASSAGE70
AUTO LOAN39335916.54%
MORTGAGE1761164,7175.125%
FUEL200
GAS/ELECTRIC150
GROCERIES1100
EATING OUT600
CAMERAS25
PARENTS030,K
CC119485625.24%
CC2134449524.49
CC32550523.24%
CC42545210.23%
CC52069218.49%
CC67579724.15
CC7 (STORE CARDS)100202025.24
TOTAL519644,455


This is exciting stuff! Look: if you don't eat out or get a massage in January, you've knocked out CC4 and CC3 is down to $335. If you don't eat out or get a massage in February + CC4's $25 payment, then in March you can get rid of CC3 and knock CC5 down to $332. By April, with just those two changes, you can totally get rid of 3 of those credit cards that have been hanging over your head.

This is just an illustration, since in your case it might make sense to first pay down some of the tax & mortgage debt, and wiser heads than I can advise you there. But give yourself a few minutes to dream about how amazing it could be to knock down one of these debts every month. Think of how much faster the above will be if you also cancel cable & cameras & cut $400 of your groceries. If you are willing to make some hard changes, this is so, so doable! But it means really making those hard changes and making them right now. Every month you delay pushes later the moment you won't have that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach!

Tell us tomorrow that you have cancelled cable, massages, and cameras and you will get a lot of high fives.[/td][/tr][/table]
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 07, 2017, 06:53:18 PM
Well done! Thank you for adding the interest rate. A couple things stand out right away: that car loan has GOT to go. It's easy to get rid of- sell the car and buy something cheaper. And of course those credit cards are eating you alive!

I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my car loan balance.

I thought it was 4500 but its down to almost 3500 now.

It'll be paid off in 9 months.

Do you still think I should sell it?

Probably, as long as you aren't upside down in it.  Use whatever equity you can get out of it to buy a cheaper vehicle cash & drive.  Do not finance!

EDIT: Definitely sell the car.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 06:53:21 PM
Another easy win: that car insurance seems high. When was the last time you compared rates? It'll take you an hour tops, and you could be saving up to $60/month - that's a pretty incredible hourly rate of return right there!

You have a ton of fat to trim. What is your game plan with expenses? There are still a lot of questions you haven't addressed, like whether you or your wife are the big spender, etc.

We both are, in different ways.

For example, I can go a long time without buying anything. But then i'll get a hankering for something; Like our 90 inch flatscreen TV with the amoled LED backlit display that beams so beautifuly against my wall, and the wireless SONOS speakers that complete the home theater. So I can go a while, but then I'll spend $3,000 in one day.

My wife on the other hand never buys big things, but will buy a $10 makeup kit, and then a $25 pair of plates, then a $5 new snowglobe ... And so forth.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 06:56:19 PM


Probably, as long as you aren't upside down in it.  Use whatever equity you can get out of it to buy a cheaper vehicle cash & drive.  Do not finance!

I blue booked it and its worth $13k from a private owner and $15k from a dealer. Supposedly.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 07, 2017, 06:57:16 PM
Another easy win: that car insurance seems high. When was the last time you compared rates? It'll take you an hour tops, and you could be saving up to $60/month - that's a pretty incredible hourly rate of return right there!

You have a ton of fat to trim. What is your game plan with expenses? There are still a lot of questions you haven't addressed, like whether you or your wife are the big spender, etc.

We both are, in different ways.

For example, I can go a long time without buying anything. But then i'll get a hankering for something; Like our 90 inch flatscreen TV with the amoled LED backlit display that beams so beautifuly against my wall, and the wireless SONOS speakers that complete the home theater. So I can go a while, but then I'll spend $3,000 in one day.

My wife on the other hand never buys big things, but will buy a $10 makeup kit, and then a $25 pair of plates, then a $5 new snowglobe ... And so forth.

Are you willing to change?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 06:58:15 PM
Another easy win: that car insurance seems high. When was the last time you compared rates? It'll take you an hour tops, and you could be saving up to $60/month - that's a pretty incredible hourly rate of return right there!

You have a ton of fat to trim. What is your game plan with expenses? There are still a lot of questions you haven't addressed, like whether you or your wife are the big spender, etc.

We both are, in different ways.

For example, I can go a long time without buying anything. But then i'll get a hankering for something; Like our 90 inch flatscreen TV with the amoled LED backlit display that beams so beautifuly against my wall, and the wireless SONOS speakers that complete the home theater. So I can go a while, but then I'll spend $3,000 in one day.

My wife on the other hand never buys big things, but will buy a $10 makeup kit, and then a $25 pair of plates, then a $5 new snowglobe ... And so forth.

Are you willing to change?

I am.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: CheapScholar on January 07, 2017, 06:58:31 PM
You've accomplished a lot today, Beatles.  You should be proud that you're on the right path.  Just think, you're only 30.  Your income is certainly respectable and you can make progress during your 30s that most Americans don't even think about. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 07, 2017, 06:58:53 PM
Excellent.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 06:59:02 PM

 
ITEM|MONTHLY| TOTAL |INTEREST RATE
GARBAGE36
CALE/INTERNET114
WATER50
GEICO AUTO135
MASSAGE70
AUTO LOAN39335916.54%
MORTGAGE1761164,7175.125%
FUEL200
GAS/ELECTRIC150
GROCERIES1100
EATING OUT600
CAMERAS25
PARENTS030,K
CC119485625.24%
CC2134449524.49
CC32550523.24%
CC42545210.23%
CC52069218.49%
CC67579724.15
CC7 (STORE CARDS)100202025.24
TOTAL519644,455


This is exciting stuff! Look: if you don't eat out or get a massage in January, you've knocked out CC4 and CC3 is down to $335. If you don't eat out or get a massage in February + CC4's $25 payment, then in March you can get rid of CC3 and knock CC5 down to $332. By April, with just those two changes, you can totally get rid of 3 of those credit cards that have been hanging over your head.

This is just an illustration, since in your case it might make sense to first pay down some of the tax & mortgage debt, and wiser heads than I can advise you there. But give yourself a few minutes to dream about how amazing it could be to knock down one of these debts every month. Think of how much faster the above will be if you also cancel cable & cameras & cut $400 of your groceries. If you are willing to make some hard changes, this is so, so doable! But it means really making those hard changes and making them right now. Every month you delay pushes later the moment you won't have that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach!

Tell us tomorrow that you have cancelled cable, massages, and cameras and you will get a lot of high fives.[/td][/tr][/table]

It is exciting!

I'll have to double check if I can get out of the TV contract though.

Signed a 2 year contract in August.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: 1967mama on January 07, 2017, 07:01:22 PM
Make sure you do the math on getting out of your cable contract. When we got out of ours there was a penalty but it was cheaper to pay that penalty than pay the remaining monthly payment on the contract. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 07, 2017, 07:02:07 PM
You can so do this. But it's like weight loss- this isn't a crash diet, this is a lifestyle change. You've got to be in for the long haul. I'm seriously admiring you right now- you've faced up to some major harshness today, and looked head on at some rough numbers. But you *can* do this.

I highly recommend you sit down with your wife and go over these "goal setting" questions:
http://www.frugalwoods.com/2016/12/19/uber-frugal-month-the-ultimate-guide-to-saving-more-money-than-you-ever-thought-possible/ (http://www.frugalwoods.com/2016/12/19/uber-frugal-month-the-ultimate-guide-to-saving-more-money-than-you-ever-thought-possible/)

You guys need to make a game plan *together*. That's the only way you'll succeed- mutual accountability. The fact that you have two different 'types' of spendiness is actually a strength- you can keep each other in check this way if you're a team =)

Make sure you do the math on getting out of your cable contract. When we got out of ours there was a penalty but it was cheaper to pay that penalty than pay the remaining monthly payment on the contract. 

This is virtually always true. I've had this be true with breaking apartment leases even.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 07:05:45 PM
So, parents offered to pay the IRS debt a while back.

Said no for a couple reasons, but mainly because I didn't want to give the IRS the extra fees and penalties they tacked on and also because it gIves the parents the ability to have a say in what we spend money on.

Should I revisit having them pay it?

No one has answered this yet ^^
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 07:06:04 PM
You can so do this. But it's like weight loss- this isn't a crash diet, this is a lifestyle change. You've got to be in for the long haul. I'm seriously admiring you right now- you've faced up to some major harshness today, and looked head on at some rough numbers. But you *can* do this.

I highly recommend you sit down with your wife and go over these "goal setting" questions:
http://www.frugalwoods.com/2016/12/19/uber-frugal-month-the-ultimate-guide-to-saving-more-money-than-you-ever-thought-possible/ (http://www.frugalwoods.com/2016/12/19/uber-frugal-month-the-ultimate-guide-to-saving-more-money-than-you-ever-thought-possible/)

You guys need to make a game plan *together*. That's the only way you'll succeed- mutual accountability. The fact that you have two different 'types' of spendiness is actually a strength- you can keep each other in check this way if you're a team =)

Make sure you do the math on getting out of your cable contract. When we got out of ours there was a penalty but it was cheaper to pay that penalty than pay the remaining monthly payment on the contract. 

This is virtually always true. I've had this be true with breaking apartment leases even.

Thank you!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 07, 2017, 07:10:16 PM
Quote
I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my car loan balance.

I thought it was 4500 but its down to almost 3500 now.

It'll be paid off in 9 months.

Do you still think I should sell it?

Probably, as long as you aren't upside down in it.  Use whatever equity you can get out of it to buy a cheaper vehicle cash & drive.  Do not finance!

I blue booked it and its worth $13k from a private owner and $15k to a dealer.

Sell it.  Take it to a used car dealership tomorrow, but go armed with a price you are willing to sell it for.  After you have sold it, use a portion of your cash to buy an older car about $5,000.  Keep the rest for your upcoming snowball.  Do not splurge with it.

And something doesn't jive about your monthly mortgage payment, at that interest rate. It's not bad, but not great either.  Looks like your local property taxes are what is killing you, here.  What state is this?  And what would the property taxes on the rental be, above your HELOC payment?  This is important for a fair comparison, but I'm still leaning towards moving into the rental.  I know that I'm asking a lot of you to move out of your "dream home", but I suspect you moved out of it at one point in the recent past, and started down this death spiral with home ownership.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 07:10:56 PM
 
ITEMMONTHLY| TOTAL |INTEREST RATE
GARBAGE36
CALE/INTERNET114
WATER50
GEICO AUTO135
MASSAGE70
AUTO LOAN39335916.54%
MORTGAGE1761164,7175.125%
FUEL200
GAS/ELECTRIC150
GROCERIES1100
EATING OUT600
CAMERAS25
PARENTS030,K
CC119485625.24%
CC2134449524.49
CC32550523.24%
CC42545210.23%
CC52069218.49%
CC67579724.15
CC7 (STORE CARDS)100202025.24
TOTAL519644,455
It's actually kinda surreal to break it down like this.

If I get rid of all the debt payments, I could probably save several thousand dollars per year.[/td][/tr][/table]
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 07:12:49 PM
Quote
I was pleasantly surprised when I saw my car loan balance.

I thought it was 4500 but its down to almost 3500 now.

It'll be paid off in 9 months.

Do you still think I should sell it?

Probably, as long as you aren't upside down in it.  Use whatever equity you can get out of it to buy a cheaper vehicle cash & drive.  Do not finance!

I blue booked it and its worth $13k from a private owner and $15k to a dealer.

Sell it.  Take it to a used car dealership tomorrow, but go armed with a price you are willing to sell it for.  After you have sold it, use a portion of your cash to buy an older car about $5,000.  Keep the rest for your upcoming snowball.  Do not splurge with it.

And something doesn't jive about your monthly mortgage payment, at that interest rate. It's not bad, but not great either.  Looks like your local property taxes are what is killing you, here.  What state is this?  And what would the property taxes on the rental be, above your HELOC payment?  This is important for a fair comparison, but I'm still leaning towards moving into the rental.  I know that I'm asking a lot of you to move out of your "dream home", but I suspect you moved out of it at one point in the recent past, and started down this death spiral with home ownership.

New York.

And yes, property tax is horrible here.

For many people, their property tax is more than their actual mortgage payment.

We have STAR exemptions which I should be eligible for next year.

Property tax on rental is $375/month.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 07, 2017, 07:13:45 PM
So, parents offered to pay the IRS debt a while back.

Said no for a couple reasons, but mainly because I didn't want to give the IRS the extra fees and penalties they tacked on and also because it gIves the parents the ability to have a say in what we spend money on.

Should I revisit having them pay it?

No one has answered this yet ^^

Find out what the IRS says first. CALL THEM. Remember? You need hard numbers before you make any choices. See what sort of repayment plan they will work on with you.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 07, 2017, 07:14:00 PM

Should I revisit having them pay it?

No one has answered this yet ^^
[/quote]

No, because then they will be enabling the habit that begot the debt in the first place.  You can do this.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MDM on January 07, 2017, 07:24:58 PM
I added a lot more details, and dug down to get the exact amounts as requested.
Looking good.

Some points:
- You should be taking depreciation on the rental.  If you sell it, you'll have to do Depreciation recapture (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depreciation_recapture_(United_States)) whether you take it now or not.
- Consider using the Free Debt Reduction Calculator for Excel (https://www.vertex42.com/Calculators/debt-reduction-calculator.html) (scroll down past the annoying DOCtoPDF download button and use the download "for Excel, OpenOffice, and Google Sheets".  Pick a payoff order that makes sense to you and do it.
- See Investment Order (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/investor-alley/investment-order-65299/msg1333153/#msg1333153).  At this point you probably shouldn't go past step #2:
0. Establish an emergency fund to your satisfaction           
1. Contribute to your 401k up to any company match           
2. Pay off any debts with interest rates ~5% or more above the 10-year Treasury note yield.   
Even the HSA might save you "only" 15% while getting the high interest CCs paid off will save 25%.         
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 07:44:30 PM
I added a lot more details, and dug down to get the exact amounts as requested.
Looking good.

Some points:
- You should be taking depreciation on the rental.  If you sell it, you'll have to do Depreciation recapture (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depreciation_recapture_(United_States)) whether you take it now or not.
- Consider using the Free Debt Reduction Calculator for Excel (https://www.vertex42.com/Calculators/debt-reduction-calculator.html) (scroll down past the annoying DOCtoPDF download button and use the download "for Excel, OpenOffice, and Google Sheets".  Pick a payoff order that makes sense to you and do it.
- See Investment Order (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/investor-alley/investment-order-65299/msg1333153/#msg1333153).  At this point you probably shouldn't go past step #2:
0. Establish an emergency fund to your satisfaction           
1. Contribute to your 401k up to any company match           
2. Pay off any debts with interest rates ~5% or more above the 10-year Treasury note yield.   
Even the HSA might save you "only" 15% while getting the high interest CCs paid off will save 25%.       

Thank you.

I just downloaded the calculator.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 08:09:32 PM
I may have been light on the food categories.

It's the 7th of the month and we've spent $640 on food. So we are on pace for  ... A lot

(http://i68.tinypic.com/20548li.png)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 07, 2017, 08:11:40 PM
Hoooooboy that's bad. Even by MY standards, and I get lots of facepunches on here for my food budget =P

Sorry to say, but until your debt is gone? No more eating out. You are burning your money in the fire of laziness. Plus destroying your health at the same time. Literally a no-win situation. (Except the restaurants- they're winning).

It's only been 7 days. Do you have those receipts? What are you buying? If you have them, literally list item for item what you bought and how much. It may open your eyes.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: 1967mama on January 07, 2017, 08:13:31 PM
I may have been light on the food categories.

It's the 7th of the month and we've spent $640 on food. So we are on pace for  ... A lot

(http://i68.tinypic.com/20548li.png)

*covers eyes waiting for massive facepunching to occur*
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Allie on January 07, 2017, 08:17:56 PM
Oh my gosh.  What in the world did you buy?  Was it actually all food?  I hope it wasn't, I can't imagine how 2 adults, a toddler and a baby can eat $600 worth of food in a week. 

You and your wife can do so much better! 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 08:21:18 PM
Oh my gosh.  What in the world did you buy?  Was it actually all food?  I hope it wasn't, I can't imagine how 2 adults, a toddler and a baby can eat $600 worth of food in a week. 

You and your wife can do so much better!

Merchant   Spending

Grocery Store   $357.90
PayPal   $115.16
Aldi   $87.79
Sakura   $42.47
Pizza   $37.23

Total   $640.55

(Paypal is what I use to pay for the office lunches on GrubHub)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: 1967mama on January 07, 2017, 08:27:29 PM
Would you be able to post a photo of your receipts from grocery stores?

Take the photo then click on attachments and other options below the box where you post a message on here. Click on choose file then click on photo library.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 07, 2017, 08:34:37 PM
Would you be able to post a photo of your receipts from grocery stores?

Take the photo then click on attachments and other options below the box where you post a message on here. Click on choose file then click on photo library.

Next week I can.

We just shopped yesterday but threw the receipt out.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 07, 2017, 08:36:08 PM
Oh my gosh.  What in the world did you buy?  Was it actually all food?  I hope it wasn't, I can't imagine how 2 adults, a toddler and a baby can eat $600 worth of food in a week. 

You and your wife can do so much better!

MerchantSpending

Grocery Store$357.90
PayPal$115.16
Aldi$87.79
Sakura$42.47
Pizza$37.23

Total$640.55

(Paypal is what I use to pay for the office lunches on GrubHub)

You are going to stop the office lunches, Sakura and Pizza, correct?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 07, 2017, 08:40:34 PM
Beatles you're doing so good!  You're being so game with us, answering our questions and working with us!  I just know in 6 months you're going to be in a totally different place.  A good place. 

The thing is there is so much fat in your budget, this is really easy.  It's much easier than having a low income and being really frugal and still not having enough.  You have enough, you just need to learn how to not spend on stupid shit, and you're going to learn it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Pizzabrewer on January 07, 2017, 08:59:57 PM
So, parents offered to pay the IRS debt a while back.

Said no for a couple reasons, but mainly because I didn't want to give the IRS the extra fees and penalties they tacked on and also because it gIves the parents the ability to have a say in what we spend money on.

Should I revisit having them pay it?

No one has answered this yet ^^

I'll answer.  Absolutely not.  You have incredibly generous parents but you have already burdened them enough with your financial irresponsibility.  Furthermore, you insulted their generosity by racking up additional debt after they bailed you out.  Until you have done everything you can to straighten out your mess you should not burden them further.  Sorry for the facepunch but there's no other way to put it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Pizzabrewer on January 07, 2017, 09:25:17 PM
Mr Beatle:

I can't agree with the advice you've gotten to contact the IRS ASAP without further information.  I have to ask, are you just in arrears with payments to the IRS or are you also a year or 2 (or more) delinquent in filing?  You previously commented that you've kept your head down, does this mean you've neglected timely filing?

 I have some experience in this.  At one time in my life I was 4 years delinquent in filing and about to go 5 years before I got my shit together.  I was very surprised they never caught up with me earlier.  I went to an accountant and in about 2 weeks got caught up on all my filings.  If you are delinquent I recommend exactly the same--hire a CPA and take a week to do nothing but catch up.  And I mean *next* week, before they get crazy busy.  It really sucks but until you get your filings up to date you can do real harm to your position by contacting the IRS.

The other important part of hiring a CPA is that you should NEVER deal or negotiate with the IRS on your own when you're in this position.  You are in an adversarial situation and any answer you give to a specific question will be part of your file and their decision making process.  It's like going into court defending yourself without a lawyer.  If you DO decide to deal with them directly, and this is extremely important, any question they ask that you do not have a ready answer that will help your position, you MUST say "I don't know, I'll have to get back to you". 

Some nuts and bolts questions.  You have previously stated you are self-employed, you have also made reference to co-workers and an office staff.  Your budget also seems to indicate a regular paycheck.  This doesn't all jive without more info.  Are you a business owner with employees?  Are you an independent contractor?  What type of business do you have: a corporation (LLC, S-corp, etc?) or a sole proprietorship?  If a corporation, are the business taxes up to date?  Sales taxes current?  If you have employees, are all the withholding taxes paid-up to date (extremely important!)?

This is why I can't agree with the advice to call the IRS on Monday morning.  There are potential landmines in each of those questions.

Dude, I wish you the best.  I'm a fellow New Yorker now (just moved to the Syracuse area) and I hear you on the taxes.  BTW did you file for the STAR rebate?  We just bought our house in November, I filed for the STAR yesterday (it took less than 10 minutes) and will get the first check around September.  No reason you shouldn't get one then also.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bee21 on January 07, 2017, 11:27:00 PM
Holy moly, that food spending is diabolical.

It will get better tomorrow, once you send out that email about office lunches. Hell, they should be feeding you!

Food spending is the easiest to control, you can get great results very quickly, once you get organized. Organization and meal planning, plus reducing waste is the key in my experience. Batch cooking is great money and time saver, so are the premeditated leftovers. The 7 dollar store brought grilled chicken can be turned into several meals. Try this-  Day one. Chicken caesar salad. Day 2 chicken stir fry. Day 3. Chicken fried rice. Plus chicken soup from the bones with noodles and extra veg. For about 12 dollars worth of chicken, rice, veg and noodles, you can get 4 days of main meals. I did that last week because it's so hot around here and i didn't feel like cooking and there were no complaints.

What do you eat that it cost you over 600 in a few days??? I am really curious now.

 Can your wife cook? If she is busy with the kids, she should cook a large batch of bolognese sauce, a huge pot of  mild chili and a stew, freeze them in portions of 2 and that should feed you for dinners for almost 2 weeks for less than 30. Give it a go. It won't kill ya if you eat the same menu 2 weeks in a row. You can use these differently, ie spag bol or pasta bake. Stew with rice or noodles or dumplings. Chili w rice or cornbread. Nachos. Pie. Burritos, enchilladas. It is not rocket science, really.

Watch out those snacks, juices, fancy cheeses, dips, lunch meat, prepared food, organic whatnot.

Alcohol?



Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MayDay on January 08, 2017, 05:09:53 AM
We are a family of four and have definitely had times when I spend 3-400 in one go at the grocery store (in fact I did in December). The key, when you are on a tight budget (WHICH YOU ARE) is that now you are done at the grocery store for the month except for literally *critical food for the kids*. Like milk for the baby. Not packaged snack food.

Your wife's job (and you can/should help, but if she isn't on board as the SAHM than this is not going to be pretty) is to stretch the food you just bought and use all the pantry odds and ends.

Next week's grocery receipt should look something like:

Gallon of milk
2 bunches bananas (if you have no fruit in the fridge OR freezer) bananas are usually the cheapest fruit by far.
If you have no veggies, some carrots are cheap, then frozen veggies

Really that is about all.

Empty out you freezer and pantry. It'll suck. You'll eat some wierd stuff. But next month you'll be coming considerably more motivated to not blow the entire grocery budget the first week.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 08, 2017, 06:42:56 AM
And you threw out the receipt?

Your categories are too broad.  It is not "groceries".

It is "meat, dairy, fruit, vegetables, starches, beverages, condiments".  And then itemize.  So meat would be

1 whole chicken   price per pound    price paid   #servings
2 pounds medium ground beef  price per pound    price paid   #servings
etc.

No deli meats, way too expensive for #servings

Condiments could be

1 large jar (# oz.) mayo     price per ounce   price paid
1 small jar (# oz.) mustard     price per ounce   price paid

And then you can figure out meal costs:
One batch meat sauce = ground beef plus can of tomato paste plus can crushed tomatoes plus can diced tomatoes = $X.  Makes Y servings so cost per serving is X/
Y

This is tedious, but there is Excel.  And without it you have no way of knowing how much your food budget is doing for you.

Another comment on food - buy store brands.  Kids like Jello?  Do not buy Jello brand, buy the store brand. Never buy pre-made, I cannot believe people have been suckered into buying pre-made jello and puddings (even worse, single servings) and so on.  They take almost no time to make, and are fun to do with the older kid.

Did I miss the kids' ages?  Preschool and young, but ages?  How much can they do? 


Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 08, 2017, 06:54:01 AM
You have to do a 180o turn in your *thinking* and the spending will follow.  You need to be a speedboat, not an ocean liner - be nimble, be quick, be agile, be responsive.  Not ponderous in making changes in direction.

Restaurant spending is still in your life, must go.  You spent a lot for probably not a lot in return.

Someone asked about your work life - what is your business, these office lunches, etc. Buying lunch for the office would be OK if it were a business expense charged to the business, providing your business accountant says it is OK.  It is not OK coming out of your personal pocket.

You are perfectly correct that if you can get your home spending under control those CCs will go fast.  Of course the debt to your parents and the debt to the IRA is much bigger (and I agree, first step is a good CA) so you will be a while getting to zero.  Step one is a zero net worth (as opposed to massive debt, where you are now).  Step two is getting the positive net worth, so that at some point in your life you are able to retire (ideally before 70).

You haven't said much about your wife, but a lot of this is going to fall to her.  Has she started reading MMM and the Journals?  She will find lots of useful information, and it will also help her be a speedboat instead of an ocean liner.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ShoulderThingThatGoesUp on January 08, 2017, 07:10:38 AM
Does your wife know what deep shit you're in?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 08, 2017, 07:53:56 AM
Oddly enough, I wouldn't be surprised if the hardest thing for you to face right now is telling your coworkers that you're not going to be buying lunch anymore. I'm sure that feels really revealing and personal, and you've kind of been the hero for those people by buying them lunch.

But you cannot afford to spend $150 a week on that. You just can't. That's $600 a month. You've spent $115 already in January, leaving you $485 that could be sent to one of your credit cards once you've accomplished the truly difficult task of letting your coworkers know that you can't buy lunch anymore.

Tell them tomorrow. You can even buy them lunch tomorrow so they don't have to plan ahead. That would then leave you $435 to send to one of those high debt credit cards - Dave Ramsey would say send it to the one with the smallest balance; others recommend sending it to the one with the highest interest rate.

I know it's going to be hard. But once you have done that, you will have six hundred more little green workers every single month to do your bidding,
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 08, 2017, 07:58:51 AM
Oddly enough, I wouldn't be surprised if the hardest thing for you to face right now is telling your coworkers that you're not going to be buying lunch anymore. I'm sure that feels really revealing and personal, and you've kind of been the hero for those people by buying them lunch.

But you cannot afford to spend $150 a week on that. You just can't. That's $600 a month. You've spent $115 already in January, leaving you $485 that could be sent to one of your credit cards once you've accomplished the truly difficult task of letting your coworkers know that you can't buy lunch anymore.

Tell them tomorrow. You can even buy them lunch tomorrow so they don't have to plan ahead. That would then leave you $435 to send to one of those high debt credit cards - Dave Ramsey would say send it to the one with the smallest balance; others recommend sending it to the one with the highest interest rate.

I know it's going to be hard. But once you have done that, you will have six hundred more little green workers every single month to do your bidding,

Yep. Those lunches alone are more that you are netting from your rental every month. That is crazy.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 08, 2017, 08:11:42 AM
So, parents offered to pay the IRS debt a while back.

Said no for a couple reasons, but mainly because I didn't want to give the IRS the extra fees and penalties they tacked on and also because it gIves the parents the ability to have a say in what we spend money on.

Should I revisit having them pay it?

No one has answered this yet ^^



No - you need t sell your rental property.  With money in hand - sit down with the IRS and talk to them.  Take an attorney with you if want.  Offer your actual taxes plus interest as an Offer in Compromise.  They might take it - and at least they'll be negotiating with you.  And you'll have one advantage - tell them you have a source so that you can pay them in cash once you come to a number.  That is a good dealing point with the IRS.  Then pay them what you negotiate and be done with it.  And make sure that you are on a paycheck or quarterly basis keeping up with what you owe so that you never get in this situation again.  But - DO NOT LET MOMMY AND DADDY GET YOU OUT OF THIS. You and your wife got yourself here - get yourselves out.   And you can ignore this - but IRS debt doesn't get smaller and go way - they will eventually act to get their money and the easy target is your rental.  So take care of getting it on the market for a quick sell NOW.  Even if you don't have your rental they have more draconian ways of getting what you owe.  Take care of this now so it doesn't grow bigger and swallow you. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 08, 2017, 09:00:53 AM
Beatles -- I just wanted to add my encouragement to you and your wife.  Fantastic that you have stepped up to the plate and are making these changes!  You have the real MMM forum heavyweights giving you advice here -- the best of the best. 

You haven't said much about your wife other than that she is on board.  This is not going to be an easy road for her.   Have you checked out the thread yet on helping spouses convert to the new mindset?  Right at the top of "Ask a Mustachian" -- thread is called "How to Convert your SO."  There are also tons of resources for her (as the SAHP/family CFO) on this forum:  Shopping, cooking, child care, home economy, you name it. 

You are young and have good income.  You can do this, and we are all rooting for you! The two of you will emerge from this as diamond-hard superheroes. 
 

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 09:48:48 AM
//ADDED//

Furniture Loan: 276 per month, total due: $1,950, 25% interest
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 09:49:49 AM
Mr Beatle:

I can't agree with the advice you've gotten to contact the IRS ASAP without further information.  I have to ask, are you just in arrears with payments to the IRS or are you also a year or 2 (or more) delinquent in filing?  You previously commented that you've kept your head down, does this mean you've neglected timely filing?

 I have some experience in this.  At one time in my life I was 4 years delinquent in filing and about to go 5 years before I got my shit together.  I was very surprised they never caught up with me earlier.  I went to an accountant and in about 2 weeks got caught up on all my filings.  If you are delinquent I recommend exactly the same--hire a CPA and take a week to do nothing but catch up.  And I mean *next* week, before they get crazy busy.  It really sucks but until you get your filings up to date you can do real harm to your position by contacting the IRS.

The other important part of hiring a CPA is that you should NEVER deal or negotiate with the IRS on your own when you're in this position.  You are in an adversarial situation and any answer you give to a specific question will be part of your file and their decision making process.  It's like going into court defending yourself without a lawyer.  If you DO decide to deal with them directly, and this is extremely important, any question they ask that you do not have a ready answer that will help your position, you MUST say "I don't know, I'll have to get back to you". 

Some nuts and bolts questions.  You have previously stated you are self-employed, you have also made reference to co-workers and an office staff.  Your budget also seems to indicate a regular paycheck.  This doesn't all jive without more info.  Are you a business owner with employees?  Are you an independent contractor?  What type of business do you have: a corporation (LLC, S-corp, etc?) or a sole proprietorship?  If a corporation, are the business taxes up to date?  Sales taxes current?  If you have employees, are all the withholding taxes paid-up to date (extremely important!)?

This is why I can't agree with the advice to call the IRS on Monday morning.  There are potential landmines in each of those questions.

Dude, I wish you the best.  I'm a fellow New Yorker now (just moved to the Syracuse area) and I hear you on the taxes.  BTW did you file for the STAR rebate?  We just bought our house in November, I filed for the STAR yesterday (it took less than 10 minutes) and will get the first check around September.  No reason you shouldn't get one then also.

Thanks Pizza Brewer.

Yes, the withholdings are all set up properly now and everything is in line.

Will be filing for the star rebate this week.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Khaetra on January 08, 2017, 09:50:55 AM
You haven't said much about your wife other than that she is on board.  This is not going to be an easy road for her.

It sure will be hard for her!  The $10 here and the $20 there has to stop as well, so no makeup/beauty products and no trips to the salon because that shit adds up fast!  You had better make sure she is 110% on board with no spending whatsoever and getting out of debt.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BTDretire on January 08, 2017, 09:51:43 AM
Any chance you can transfer the balances of CC2 and CC7 to CC4?
That will give you an extra $77 to apply towards CC6.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 09:52:09 AM
Holy moly, that food spending is diabolical.

It will get better tomorrow, once you send out that email about office lunches. Hell, they should be feeding you!

Food spending is the easiest to control, you can get great results very quickly, once you get organized. Organization and meal planning, plus reducing waste is the key in my experience. Batch cooking is great money and time saver, so are the premeditated leftovers. The 7 dollar store brought grilled chicken can be turned into several meals. Try this-  Day one. Chicken caesar salad. Day 2 chicken stir fry. Day 3. Chicken fried rice. Plus chicken soup from the bones with noodles and extra veg. For about 12 dollars worth of chicken, rice, veg and noodles, you can get 4 days of main meals. I did that last week because it's so hot around here and i didn't feel like cooking and there were no complaints.

What do you eat that it cost you over 600 in a few days??? I am really curious now.

 Can your wife cook? If she is busy with the kids, she should cook a large batch of bolognese sauce, a huge pot of  mild chili and a stew, freeze them in portions of 2 and that should feed you for dinners for almost 2 weeks for less than 30. Give it a go. It won't kill ya if you eat the same menu 2 weeks in a row. You can use these differently, ie spag bol or pasta bake. Stew with rice or noodles or dumplings. Chili w rice or cornbread. Nachos. Pie. Burritos, enchilladas. It is not rocket science, really.

Watch out those snacks, juices, fancy cheeses, dips, lunch meat, prepared food, organic whatnot.

Alcohol?

I think the main problem is pre-packaged crap.

Our pantry and freezer is chuck full of it.

Gummie bears, cookies, chips, popcorn, cereal, granola bars, juice packets, apple sauce packets, dried apple pouches, frozen dinners, apple pie, brownie mixes, apple cider, fruit drinks, coke, sprite etc.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 09:54:56 AM
Mint really is super useful.

I'm going month by month and seeing expenses and food is definitely the largest.

This is for December...

Your Spending

MERCHANT   SPENDING

Total   $2,652.04
    Export to CSV

Staff lunch   $717.84
Grocery Store   $616.12
Aldi   $300.69
Grocery Store   $185.65
Burger King   $146.23
Dave & Buster   $120.50
Cheese   $86.20
Mcdonald   $72.94
Walgre   $71.75
GrubHub   $64.06
Pf Cha   $63.65
Pizza   $53.84
Thai     $50.76
Pizza   $44.12
Taco Bell   $29.48
Pizza   $16.39
Burger King   $11.82
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 09:55:33 AM
Any chance you can transfer the balances of CC2 and CC7 to CC4?
That will give you an extra $77 to apply towards CC6.

There's very little room on any of the cards.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 09:58:57 AM
So, parents offered to pay the IRS debt a while back.

Said no for a couple reasons, but mainly because I didn't want to give the IRS the extra fees and penalties they tacked on and also because it gIves the parents the ability to have a say in what we spend money on.

Should I revisit having them pay it?

No one has answered this yet ^^



No - you need t sell your rental property.  With money in hand - sit down with the IRS and talk to them.  Take an attorney with you if want.  Offer your actual taxes plus interest as an Offer in Compromise.  They might take it - and at least they'll be negotiating with you.  And you'll have one advantage - tell them you have a source so that you can pay them in cash once you come to a number.  That is a good dealing point with the IRS.  Then pay them what you negotiate and be done with it.  And make sure that you are on a paycheck or quarterly basis keeping up with what you owe so that you never get in this situation again.  But - DO NOT LET MOMMY AND DADDY GET YOU OUT OF THIS. You and your wife got yourself here - get yourselves out.   And you can ignore this - but IRS debt doesn't get smaller and go way - they will eventually act to get their money and the easy target is your rental.  So take care of getting it on the market for a quick sell NOW.  Even if you don't have your rental they have more draconian ways of getting what you owe.  Take care of this now so it doesn't grow bigger and swallow you.

Agreed.

We are looking into selling it now.

We have to figure out a few things though.

Roof definitely needs to be replaced. Also, there is renters in there (month to month).
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 08, 2017, 10:08:55 AM
You guys eat out so much!  You need to make a plan for that together.  Can you be in charge of dishes and clean-up if your wife promises to cook 3 meals every day?

Just a heads-up....I know advertising makes it seem like prepackaged crap is normal, but its not.  We literally buy 0 single-serving pouches of anything, and in fact no packaged food at all beyond an OCCASIONAL box of ritz crackers or cereal.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 08, 2017, 10:15:36 AM
Oh, and no more juices or soft drinks.

Learn how to make lemonade and sweet teas.  It is VERY easy.

For example, take a stick of cinnamon, put into a pot of water and boil.  Then add one spoonful of sugar per cup (approximately, adjust to your tastes).  Drink hot, or pour into a pitcher, refrigerate and drink cold.

Blend any soft juicy fruit (like mangoes, pineapple, etc, whatever is at the store) in a blender with lots of water.  Add sugar to make sweeter.  Bam, homemade fruit juice.  May not actually be cheap.  But the side benefit is that since it takes effort to produce you will consume less.

Lemonade: 1/4 lemon juice + 1/4 cup sugar + pitcher of water.  Stir.  Bam, yummy lemonade. 

I feel like we need a local mustachian to go over to your house and teach your wife how to cook.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: wenchsenior on January 08, 2017, 10:29:20 AM
Oh, and no more juices or soft drinks.

Learn how to make lemonade and sweet teas.  It is VERY easy.

For example, take a stick of cinnamon, put into a pot of water and boil.  Then add one spoonful of sugar per cup (approximately, adjust to your tastes).  Drink hot, or pour into a pitcher, refrigerate and drink cold.

Blend any soft juicy fruit (like mangoes, pineapple, etc, whatever is at the store) in a blender with lots of water.  Add sugar to make sweeter.  Bam, homemade fruit juice.  May not actually be cheap.  But the side benefit is that since it takes effort to produce you will consume less.

Lemonade: 1/4 lemon juice + 1/4 cup sugar + pitcher of water.  Stir.  Bam, yummy lemonade. 

I feel like we need a local mustachian to go over to your house and teach your wife how to cook.

Or just stop drinking sugar water.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 10:29:30 AM
You guys eat out so much!  You need to make a plan for that together.  Can you be in charge of dishes and clean-up if your wife promises to cook 3 meals every day?

Just a heads-up....I know advertising makes it seem like prepackaged crap is normal, but its not.  We literally buy 0 single-serving pouches of anything, and in fact no packaged food at all beyond an OCCASIONAL box of ritz crackers or cereal.

Do you have kids?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 08, 2017, 10:34:16 AM
Plenty of people on the forums have sub-$400/month grocery budgets with 4+ person families. Should be especially easy since your kids are so young- you still have a ton of power to shape their tastes.

Here are some threads you may benefit from reading:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/cutting-grocery-budget-for-family-of-five/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/cutting-grocery-budget-for-family-of-five/)
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-much-do-you-spend-on-groceries/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-much-do-you-spend-on-groceries/)
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/groceries-for-a-family-of-3/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/groceries-for-a-family-of-3/)

And best of all, a challenge thread:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/throw-down-the-gauntlet/stick-to-a-grocery-budget-2016/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/throw-down-the-gauntlet/stick-to-a-grocery-budget-2016/)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 10:37:12 AM
Plenty of people on the forums have sub-$400/month grocery budgets with 4+ person families. Should be especially easy since your kids are so young- you still have a ton of power to shape their tastes.

Here are some threads you may benefit from reading:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/cutting-grocery-budget-for-family-of-five/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/cutting-grocery-budget-for-family-of-five/)
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-much-do-you-spend-on-groceries/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-much-do-you-spend-on-groceries/)
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/groceries-for-a-family-of-3/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/groceries-for-a-family-of-3/)

And best of all, a challenge thread:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/throw-down-the-gauntlet/stick-to-a-grocery-budget-2016/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/throw-down-the-gauntlet/stick-to-a-grocery-budget-2016/)

Thanks. Reading them now.

Wish people would post a sample daily menu their family eats, including drinks and snacks.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: GetSmart on January 08, 2017, 10:37:50 AM
Was there a previous post that outlined how you got to this place?  I feel like there’s a lot of info missing. Sorry this got long....

This is what I don’t get.  It seems that you own your own business and you have employees.  So you are getting a conventional paycheck, correct ?  And yet you’re looking for sidework at $10/hour ?  Can you not just increase your business ? Do you have too many employees ? What type of business is it that you as the owner are only paying yourself about $30 / hour?  Can you give yourself a raise ? (only to pay down the debt of course - or actually give yourself a raise and have it all withheld to pay off the tax debt). Can you ‘hire’ your wife to do at home bookkeeping or something ?

I’m assuming that you didn’t always have a conventional paycheck and that is how you got behind on the IRS estimated payments maybe ?  Also assuming that you have an accountant doing your business taxes and making sure that you are filing on time / filing at all / filing properly by taking advantage of all deductions.  You can go back 3 years and re-do if they were not done correctly.

You should not be buying your office staff lunch ever much less 3x a week for heaven’s sake !!  However, what was spent in 2016 should be an office expense out of petty cash or something else - ask your accountant - not out of your after-tax personal paycheck.  Please take advantage of your rightful deductions.

So your business did well enough to give yourself a $6000 bonus and you spent the entire thing on things you can’t categorize (shopping, food, uncategorized) - cause it’s Christmas? -  instead of paying off your first 3 CC’s.  YIKES - this just makes my frugal brain hurt!  Is there anything you bought with this spree that you can still return - 90” TV - really - wtf - who needs that ?

Do you have more than one car?  Your insurance seems really high, but it depends on what you’re driving, how old, etc. - this is an easy one to reduce.

Shop at grocery store only type stores; not Target where it’s too tempting to buy crap when you have no self-control.

You’re paying a late fee on your mortgage !  Is that every month?  or just last month?  WHY?  Set up your mortgage as an auto pay to go out as soon as your paycheck clears (use direct deposit) - most of your other bills should be set up this way also.  That way all your bills are paid first - then you can think about buying food.

Are you throwing out a lot of food? Is the baby still in diapers? You really need to separate what is actual food (and only buy real food - no packaged snacks, juice boxes or other bs) and what is cleaning supplies, baby supplies, toys, etc.  It’s incomprehensible how one can spend that much on food in one month, so it’s probably not all food - and get rid of the sugar - you’ll all feel better.

The good news is that you probably have everything you could possibly need for the next 10 years and don’t need to buy one more thing.  Mortgage, taxes, utilities, insurance and food (cooked at home) are your only categories and most of those can be reduced by a lot.

While I was writing this I see you added a furniture loan ??  Good grief.  And you also have a 401k loan - how much is that?  I’m guessing you just bought this house within the last year or so? And instead of using the HELOC from the rental for the 20% down payment you used it for upgrades and put down the minimum - so now you're paying PMI also?

You need to distinguish between wants and needs; just because you want it and want it now - that attitude has to go.  But it can be done.  I’ve known people in deeper holes than this.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: CheapScholar on January 08, 2017, 10:41:21 AM
My mother in law is always buying my 7 year old son pre packaged crap food.  Fruit by the foot and gummy treats.  Applesauce in non recyclable pouches.  It drives me effing crazy.  Mostly because of the environmental cost of the crap.  In defense of Beatles, I see first hand how kids get hooked on the stuff.  It's colorful packaging, convenient to eat, and often loaded with sugar.  When I'm making lunch for my son he gets a cut up apple or banana and I compost the cores and peels in my backyard. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 08, 2017, 10:42:18 AM
Plenty of people on the forums have sub-$400/month grocery budgets with 4+ person families. Should be especially easy since your kids are so young- you still have a ton of power to shape their tastes.

Here are some threads you may benefit from reading:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/cutting-grocery-budget-for-family-of-five/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/cutting-grocery-budget-for-family-of-five/)
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-much-do-you-spend-on-groceries/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-much-do-you-spend-on-groceries/)
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/groceries-for-a-family-of-3/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/groceries-for-a-family-of-3/)

And best of all, a challenge thread:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/throw-down-the-gauntlet/stick-to-a-grocery-budget-2016/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/throw-down-the-gauntlet/stick-to-a-grocery-budget-2016/)

Thanks. Reading them now.

Wish people would post a sample daily menu their family eats, including drinks and snacks.

I have links for that as well =)

http://dontwastethecrumbs.com/real-food-menus/ (http://dontwastethecrumbs.com/real-food-menus/)
http://thriftyfrugalmom.com/200month-menu-plan-for-our-family-of-5/#sthash.mbXzyf4i.dpbs (http://thriftyfrugalmom.com/200month-menu-plan-for-our-family-of-5/#sthash.mbXzyf4i.dpbs)
http://www.frugalmamafiles.com/2013/07/meal-planning-how-we-live-on-75-week.html (http://www.frugalmamafiles.com/2013/07/meal-planning-how-we-live-on-75-week.html)
http://www.wisebread.com/what-to-eat-every-day-a-month-of-frugal-meals (http://www.wisebread.com/what-to-eat-every-day-a-month-of-frugal-meals)
http://www.livingonadime.com/easy-family-menu-ideas/ (http://www.livingonadime.com/easy-family-menu-ideas/)
http://www.gracefullittlehoneybee.com/30-frugal-meal-ideas/ (http://www.gracefullittlehoneybee.com/30-frugal-meal-ideas/)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 08, 2017, 10:43:00 AM

I feel like we need a local mustachian to go over to your house and teach your wife how to cook.

I noticed that too.  Given the fake-food spending, she needs to step up to the plate.

I keep asking the kids' ages.  Unless the little one is super little (i.e. 0-3 months) she can do things at home.  I was in a sleep-deprived fog the first few months of Mommy-hood, so have zero expectations for someone in those circumstances.  After that, time for her to get her act together.

Good general books for her:
Leanne Ely - Saving dinner and Saving dinner the low-carb way, and SavingDinner.com
Once the basics are in place: To make life easier and get you invnovled in meal prep:
Mimi Wilson and Mary Beth Lagerborg - Once-A-Month-Cooking Family Favorites
Any crock-pot recipe books

Fruits are full of sugar, I would go even less for the fruit juices than Wench senior posted.  In the summer when it is hot, a bottle of RealLemonTM and water and a bit of sugar go a long way, if lemon prices are high in your area.

What we hope to see posted on January 15:
Staff lunch   $150 (already done, no more)
Grocery Stores (all your grocery stores)   $100 (you have so much stuff already, only perishables)
Burger King   $0
Dave & Buster   $0
Cheese   $0
Mcdonald   $0
Walgre   $20 (onlyh pharmacy stuff, only if you have nothign equivalent at home)
GrubHub   $0
Pf Cha   $0
Pizza   $0
Thai     $0
Pizza   $0
Taco Bell   $0
Pizza   $0
Burger King   $0


Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 10:49:45 AM
This is what I don’t get.  It seems that you own your own business and you have employees.  So you are getting a conventional paycheck, correct ?  And yet you’re looking for sidework at $10/hour ?  Can you not just increase your business ? Do you have too many employees ? What type of business is it that you as the owner are only paying yourself about $30 / hour?  Can you give yourself a raise ? (only to pay down the debt of course - or actually give yourself a raise and have it all withheld to pay off the tax debt). Can you ‘hire’ your wife to do at home bookkeeping or something ?

I dont want to get into details of my exact business, for privacy reasons.

But to put it simply, I do NOT have employees. I am self employed and work with other self employed people, under a company umbrella. So I, and other self employed people, share secretaries and office staff and their expense is pooled and split.

Quote
I’m assuming that you didn’t always have a conventional paycheck and that is how you got behind on the IRS estimated payments maybe ?  Also assuming that you have an accountant doing your business taxes and making sure that you are filing on time / filing at all / filing properly by taking advantage of all deductions.  You can go back 3 years and re-do if they were not done correctly.

They were actually always done properly.

I never (to my knowledge) made a mistake on taxes and a local tax firm always filed them.

A little while ago the income tax came out to be quite large one year, and I wasn't able to pay it all. I do not do quarterly taxes, I pay it all in one lump sum. It was a mistake.

Quote
You should not be buying your office staff lunch ever much less 3x a week for heaven’s sake !!  However, what was spent in 2016 should be an office expense out of petty cash or something else - ask your accountant - not out of your after-tax personal paycheck.  Please take advantage of your rightful deductions.

I looked into this. Accountant says because of the structure and who receives the food, I am not allowed to deduct the lunch expense.

Quote
So your business did well enough to give yourself a $6000 bonus and you spent the entire thing on things you can’t categorize (shopping, food, uncategorized) - cause it’s Christmas? -  instead of paying off your first 3 CC’s.  YIKES - this just makes my frugal brain hurt!  Is there anything you bought with this spree that you can still return - 90” TV - really - wtf - who needs that ?

Yeah, it was a mistake.

Quote
Do you have more than one car?  Your insurance seems really high, but it depends on what you’re driving, how old, etc. - this is an easy one to reduce.

1 large sized SUV.

Quote
You’re paying a late fee on your mortgage !  Is that every month?  or just last month?  WHY?  Set up your mortgage as an auto pay to go out as soon as your paycheck clears (use direct deposit) - most of your other bills should be set up this way also.  That way all your bills are paid first - then you can think about buying food.

It's been late the last few months, but not crazy late. 10 to 15 days.

Quote
Are you throwing out a lot of food? Is the baby still in diapers? You really need to separate what is actual food (and only buy real food - no packaged snacks, juice boxes or other bs) and what is cleaning supplies, baby supplies, toys, etc.  It’s incomprehensible how one can spend that much on food in one month, so it’s probably not all food - and get rid of the sugar - you’ll all feel better.

We don't throw away food due to expiration dates. But our kids will eat part of an orange and throw the rest away. Or open a banana and then not want it and we have to throw it away.

Yes, still in diapers (and pull ups).


Quote
While I was writing this I see you added a furniture loan ??  Good grief.  And you also have a 401k loan - how much is that?  I’m guessing you just bought this house within the last year or so? And instead of using the HELOC from the rental for the 20% down payment you used it for upgrades and put down the minimum - so now you're paying PMI also?

Yeah, just bought the house a year ago.

Yeah, loan for couches.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 10:50:27 AM

I feel like we need a local mustachian to go over to your house and teach your wife how to cook.

I noticed that too.  Given the fake-food spending, she needs to step up to the plate.

I keep asking the kids' ages.  Unless the little one is super little (i.e. 0-3 months) she can do things at home.  I was in a sleep-deprived fog the first few months of Mommy-hood, so have zero expectations for someone in those circumstances.  After that, time for her to get her act together.

Good general books for her:
Leanne Ely - Saving dinner and Saving dinner the low-carb way, and SavingDinner.com
Once the basics are in place: To make life easier and get you invnovled in meal prep:
Mimi Wilson and Mary Beth Lagerborg - Once-A-Month-Cooking Family Favorites
Any crock-pot recipe books

Fruits are full of sugar, I would go even less for the fruit juices than Wench senior posted.  In the summer when it is hot, a bottle of RealLemonTM and water and a bit of sugar go a long way, if lemon prices are high in your area.

What we hope to see posted on January 15:
Staff lunch   $150 (already done, no more)
Grocery Stores (all your grocery stores)   $100 (you have so much stuff already, only perishables)
Burger King   $0
Dave & Buster   $0
Cheese   $0
Mcdonald   $0
Walgre   $20 (onlyh pharmacy stuff, only if you have nothign equivalent at home)
GrubHub   $0
Pf Cha   $0
Pizza   $0
Thai     $0
Pizza   $0
Taco Bell   $0
Pizza   $0
Burger King   $0

Oldest is 4.  Youngest is almost 2.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Rezdent on January 08, 2017, 10:52:49 AM
So, parents offered to pay the IRS debt a while back.

Said no for a couple reasons, but mainly because I didn't want to give the IRS the extra fees and penalties they tacked on and also because it gIves the parents the ability to have a say in what we spend money on.

Should I revisit having them pay it?

No one has answered this yet ^^



No - you need t sell your rental property.  With money in hand - sit down with the IRS and talk to them.  Take an attorney with you if want.  Offer your actual taxes plus interest as an Offer in Compromise.  They might take it - and at least they'll be negotiating with you.  And you'll have one advantage - tell them you have a source so that you can pay them in cash once you come to a number.  That is a good dealing point with the IRS.  Then pay them what you negotiate and be done with it.  And make sure that you are on a paycheck or quarterly basis keeping up with what you owe so that you never get in this situation again.  But - DO NOT LET MOMMY AND DADDY GET YOU OUT OF THIS. You and your wife got yourself here - get yourselves out.   And you can ignore this - but IRS debt doesn't get smaller and go way - they will eventually act to get their money and the easy target is your rental.  So take care of getting it on the market for a quick sell NOW.  Even if you don't have your rental they have more draconian ways of getting what you owe.  Take care of this now so it doesn't grow bigger and swallow you.

Agreed.

We are looking into selling it now.

We have to figure out a few things though.

Roof definitely needs to be replaced. Also, there is renters in there (month to month).
You may not be able to sell that rental right away, but I suggest that you get some assistance with talking to the IRS right away - needs to be done asap.  As in PRIORITY #1.
I don't recommend asking your parents for help paying this because:

1.  You really won't have a firm number or payment plan until negotiations.  If you get good assistance and tackle this head-on right away then you may be able to reduce some of the penalties.

2.  It's tempting to just borrow to get rid of the IRS - but avoiding the IRS is how you got here.  Facing this (with competent assistance) is the way forward.

3.  Having your parents pay it doesn't change the underlying dynamics very much.  Youll still owe the money.  You've already been bailed out once, and are back into serious trouble.  Without a major overhaul, you will quickly be back in dire straits.  But if you change the underlying problems (living beyond your means and ignoring issues) then everything else will snap into place and you will be able to pay it yourself along with the other bills.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 08, 2017, 10:55:47 AM
One potentially controversial piece of advice- take steps to ensure you do not have a third child until your financial house is in order. You are on the edge of ruin as it is. (the nearly 2 year old, with previous child spacing, makes me wary that this could be upcoming). Assuming she's a similar age, you and your wife are young enough that a one year delay before any further children should make no difference in eventual number of children, etc.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: 1967mama on January 08, 2017, 11:08:44 AM

Wish people would post a sample daily menu their family eats, including drinks and snacks.

Here's what we typically eat in the 1967 family!

Breakfast:
Oatmeal (from scratch, not packets) with toppings that I keep in a box with tiny jars of: brown sugar, craisins, raisins, blanched almonds, coconut (I can hear 1967dada chopping apples right now for the oatmeal!)
Homemade granola (sometimes with milk, sometimes over yogurt) - buy a full sized container, not little cups of yogurt)
Toast
Eggs and toast
Eggs and bacon
Eggs and sausages

Lunch:
Any leftovers reheated
Homemade bread from the freezer - sandwiches: pbj, chicken salad, egg salad, ham (from a whole ham), cheese and cucumber, grilled cheese
Soup made with frozen bone broth from chicken bones
Homemade pizza
Eggs (poached, fried, scrambled, put in a wrap with grated cheese)

Dinner:
A whole roasted chicken with carrots and potatoes
Spaghetti and meat sauce
Chili and buns with raw veggies
Casserole with bits of chicken, veggies and rice
Homemade hamburgers on the grill (and homemade buns)
Beef stew with biscuits
Chicken stew and dumplings
Curry

Snacks:
Smoothies (no mixes - frozen fruit - save those 1/2 pieces of fruit from the kids in a ziplock in the freezer and also chop up and freeze fruit that is about to go bad)
Popcorn
Homemade baked goods - cookies, homemade granola bars, the brownie mixes you have - use them up
Then make your own)
Fresh fruit cut up
Cheese cut into little squares

Drinks:
Milk
Water
Homemade iced tea and lemonade

ETA photo from today's breakfast. Those are the little jars I was mentioning with toppings for the oatmeal.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 08, 2017, 11:13:42 AM
A couple articles on reducing kid food waste:
http://www.wisebread.com/10-ways-to-cut-waste-when-feeding-kids (http://www.wisebread.com/10-ways-to-cut-waste-when-feeding-kids)
http://ivaluefood.com/resources/cooking-eating/get-kids-to-waste-less-food/ (http://ivaluefood.com/resources/cooking-eating/get-kids-to-waste-less-food/)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyMuMu on January 08, 2017, 11:15:15 AM
Once you're done using up the food you already have, here's a sample shopping list and meal plan I made from the Budget Bytes website. It takes about 1 hour to make a new meal plan about once a month. I add it to the others I keep on Google Drive and rotate. Once you have five or six of these, you don't need to meal plan again.

Lunches:

Chunky Lentil and Veg Soup
http://www.budgetbytes.com/2014/01/chunky-lentil-vegetable-soup/

Slow Cooker Potato Soup
http://www.budgetbytes.com/2011/12/slow-cooker-potato-soup/


Dinner:
Creamy Spinach and Sausage Pasta
http://www.budgetbytes.com/2013/01/creamy-spinach-sausage-pasta/

Balsamic Chicken Thighs
http://www.budgetbytes.com/2015/03/balsamic-chicken-thighs/
With Skillet Potatoes and Green Beans
http://www.budgetbytes.com/2015/03/skillet-potatoes-and-green-beans/

Beef and Cabbage Stir Fry
http://www.budgetbytes.com/2016/08/beef-cabbage-stir-fry/
With Freezer Biscuits
http://www.budgetbytes.com/2016/10/5-ingredient-freezer-biscuits/

Sesame Glazed Salmon and Green Beans
http://www.budgetbytes.com/2015/11/sesame-glazed-salmon-and-green-beans/
With green salad



Produce
2 lb. fresh green beans
2 inch fresh ginger, grated or minced
½ head green cabbage
3 lb carrots
4 green onions
Garlic bulb
1.25 lbs. red creamer potatoes
Fresh parsley
3 yellow onion
Celery
3 lbs. Potatoes
3 cups fresh spinach

Dairy
1 pint heavy whipping cream
2 cups milk
1 cup (4 oz.) shredded monterrey jack

Meat
1 lb. salmon filet
1 lb. lean ground beef
6 boneless skinless chicken thighs
6 oz. smoked sausage

Canned Goods/Condiments

6 Tbsp soy sauce
2 Tbsp rice wine (mirin)
1 clove garlic, minced
2 Tbsp sriracha*
¼ C balsamic vinegar
8  cups chicken broth*
1 can black beans
1 cup lentils
1 (15 oz.) can petite diced tomatoes
4 C veggie broth
1 (14.5 oz.) can diced tomatoes w/chiles
8 oz. pasta


Baking Goods/Spices
3 cups all-purpose flour
Salt
Black Pepper
Sugar
5 Tbsp brown sugar
4 tsp baking powder
2 Tbsp sesame seeds
2 Tbsp toasted sesame oil
½ Tbsp neutral cooking oil
Olive Oil
Oregano
Cumin
Paprika
Cayenne pepper







Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 08, 2017, 11:18:56 AM
Given the work situation, there is no reason for you to be buying everyone a lunch.  The lunch is part of why we kept asking about work (that and your tax situation, we don't care or need to know what you do). 

If you like it because it is a chance for everyone to enjoy lunch together, there are alternatives:
1.  a pot luck - everyone brings something and you all share.  Either everyone will enjoy this and it will become a thing.  OR, suddenly it is work for the others, and it will fade out.
2.  Everyone brings their own lunch but you all get together at a set time and place (i.e. where and when you are now) and enjoy each others' company.

If it is always pizza and you don't want to talk $ to your office mates, just say you are trying to improve the quality of your diet and fast food is out - no pizza, no bought lunch, you are bringing in home-made now.

Which leads me to . . . . .
You should be taking a "brown bag" lunch - not buying food for lunch.  Is that what some of those restaurant charges are now?  Stop.  Plan dinner (with your wife) and plan for extras - you are not eating leftovers, you are eating planned-overs.  Or make things ahead just for lunches and grab a lunch each morning.  This means you and your wife have to talk - you don't want to eat lunch and find out you are having the same thing for dinner.  And if there is no fridge or microwave at work now, maybe the office as a whole can get them?  Also a coffee-maker so you are not all heading out for coffee on a regular basis.  At worst, it would be a good long-term investment for you to have a microwave in your office if no one else is interested, you can boil water for coffee/tea, heat up a lunch.  My gorgeous kitchen microwave cost me $20 on Kijiji, we are not talking a lot of money for this.

There are all sorts of ways to save money once you start looking for them.  And they are no harder or more time-consuming than what you are doing now.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marion10 on January 08, 2017, 11:20:30 AM
Good luck- you are going to have to make major changes in your lifestyle- the good news is you are young and can do it. I agree with the other poster about getting professional advice in negotiating with the IRS. Your lifestyle unfortunately reminds me of my sister and her husband who ignored over due taxes and had to pay many more times than the original amount. Now in their 50s- no money for retirement, no money for kids college- because they could not say no. Take Hawaii off the table- flying with a 2 and 4 year old all that way would be awful and they would not remember anyway.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: PharmaStache on January 08, 2017, 11:21:00 AM
Plenty of people on the forums have sub-$400/month grocery budgets with 4+ person families. Should be especially easy since your kids are so young- you still have a ton of power to shape their tastes.

Here are some threads you may benefit from reading:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/cutting-grocery-budget-for-family-of-five/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/cutting-grocery-budget-for-family-of-five/)
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-much-do-you-spend-on-groceries/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-much-do-you-spend-on-groceries/)
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/groceries-for-a-family-of-3/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/groceries-for-a-family-of-3/)

And best of all, a challenge thread:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/throw-down-the-gauntlet/stick-to-a-grocery-budget-2016/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/throw-down-the-gauntlet/stick-to-a-grocery-budget-2016/)

Thanks. Reading them now.

Wish people would post a sample daily menu their family eats, including drinks and snacks.

I have a 4 y/o and a newborn.  I admit to buying some pre-packaged snacks (especially at the moment) but they could easily be subbed with buying larger quantities and dividing them up. 

Breakfast
-eggs & toast
-oatmeal
-cereal
-bagel with PB & J
-PB sandwich
-yogurt (from a tub..not a tube)

Lunch
-leftovers from homemade supper
-cut up veggies
-fruit
-applesauce (homemade…or from a jar, not a single serving cup)
-cheese (not cheese strings…or single serving packaged cheese….cut from a block of cheese. speaking of cheese, what is the cheese expense listed on your purchases?)
-yogurt (from a tub)
-homemade muffins…cookies…granola bars….etc
-raisins

Supper
-other people have ideas covered.  Soups, chilli, spaghetti sauce, stir fry, homemade pizzas (put them on naan bread, super easy, we just had that for lunch)

Beverages
-milk or water. anything else is a treat once in a while.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: meandmyfamily on January 08, 2017, 11:25:48 AM
Hello!  Groceries and eating out used to be tough for us until we realized how much we were spending!!!  We have 4 kids (13, 11, 6 and 5) plus 2 adult parents.  We spend $850 a month on just groceries (food) and $150 on eating out (that includes anything like a soda at gas station or Starbucks or pizza).  Today we had steel cut oats for breakfast with walnuts, brown sugar and dried cranberries (so cheap and filling), for lunch we are having burritos/quesidillas with homemade beans, cheese (we shred our own from big blocks we get at Costco), salsa, avocadoes,  then dinner tonight is hamburgers with lots of toppings.  I hope that helps you with your meal planning.  Kids can snack on nuts or any fruit/vegetables we have around.  We don't buy all the prepackaged stuff you mentioned.  We do have a batch of homemade cookies they will probably eat some of them too.  We drink water with occasionally tea made at home for the older people.

You have to STOP lunch purchase at work!  It blows my mind.  Just sent out a mass email that says "It was fun for a bit but I have to stop buying lunches!"

You owe the IRS!!!!  You can't afford anything extra!

Good luck!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 08, 2017, 11:26:51 AM
One potentially controversial piece of advice- take steps to ensure you do not have a third child until your financial house is in order. You are on the edge of ruin as it is. (the nearly 2 year old, with previous child spacing, makes me wary that this could be upcoming). Assuming she's a similar age, you and your wife are young enough that a one year delay before any further children should make no difference in eventual number of children, etc.

OMG YES.  Super good point, BJ.  Not only is a third child not affordable for the beatles right now, Mrs. beatle needs to have her energy focused on being a super CFO, not a baby machine.


One nice thing about the Leanne Ely books is that she organizes menus by seasons, so your shopping list is based on what produce should be low cost for that time of year.  No fresh strawberries in January sort of thing.

The Tightwad Gazette had lots on food waste (how not to have).  One basic thing with kids - portion control.  Kid does not get a whole orange, kid gets a few segments.  Kid can always have a few more.  Rest go in the fridge for next time.  Kid gets a few slices of apple, rest is in the fridge.  etc.  Leftovers - buffet supper on the weekend, empty the fridge, lots of choices, leftovers get eaten. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 08, 2017, 11:45:45 AM
Beatles --

My two favorite cookbooks are Good and Cheap (L. Brown) and Lickety Split Meals (Zonya Foco).  Both focus on good, healthy, cheap meals.  Strongly suggest that you get them both. 

You asked for examples of how we eat.  Our family of 4 eats very similarly to 1967Mama. We shop mostly at Aldi, and have a garden.  Other than Aldi hummous and salsa, we buy almost nothing prepackaged and we make all our meals:

Breakfast: 
Whole wheat toast with peanut butter
Hot cereal (not from packets) -- oatmeal, barley, buckwheat, or rice. Add peanut butter and honey -- delish!
Aldi brand oat rings ("cheerios"), cornflakes
Eggs/bacon/sausage
Milk/coffee/tea

Lunch:
Sandwiches/wraps with cheese and vegetables
Leftover soups/stews from previous dinners
Omelettes with vegetables and cheese
Green salads with protein added -- chick peas, cottage cheese
Baked sweet potatoes with avocado
Wraps with scrambled egg, vegetables and cheese.  (whisk the egg and microwave it in a bowl or coffee cup)


Dinner:
Crockpot stews, either meat based (chili, beef stew) or vegetarian (minestrone, potato, etc)
Quesadillas -- super easy.  Add any meat, vegetables or cheese you like.  I have never met a kid that didn't love quesadillas.
"Burrito Night" = everyone fixes their own burrito from choices on the table -- meat, beans, shredded lettuce, cheese, chopped vegetables, sour cream. Kids love it.
Indian stews/curries over rice.  Last night I made chana masala and it was crazy easy and good.
Spaghetti/pasta with various sauces and sometimes vegetables added
Lasagna -- either veggie or meat. Make two and freeze one.
Homemade bread -- easy and satisfying to the soul.

Snacks -- apples, bananas, carrots, broccoli, oranges, popcorn, hummous.  Seriously -- these are the snacks our kids eat.  Once your body switches over to whole foods, you'll be amazed that you ever ate crappy pre-packaged stuff. 

Drinks:  Water, milk, coffee, tea, beer.   No juice or soda ever. 

Your kids are so young, they will adapt quickly.  You can start with "transitional" snacks like apple slices with peanut butter, celery sticks with cream cheese, etc.  It is totally doable.  And added bonus -- you'll be eating much healthier.

Go Beatles!!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyMuMu on January 08, 2017, 11:56:13 AM
Also a tip for getting the kiddos on board. Instead of saying you're no longer buying X snack or eating X, just start having "cooking lessons" with him or her. They can use a butter knife to make cheese slices, an apple corer, etc. When they cook it, they're much more enthusiastic about eating it.

Don't believe me? My sons just helped to make warm broccoli and pear salad with cranberries (from Budget Bytes) and corn muffins for lunch--and ate it! They are 8 and 9.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: SwordGuy on January 08, 2017, 11:59:57 AM
Well, I suspect you've felt some of those "face punches". :)

If you look past the hurt you'll realize that total strangers care enough about helping you that they've taken quite a bit of time to write out recipes, write out long pieces of advice, look up lots of links for you, etc.

I hope you'll stick with turning your life around.

It's a lot to absorb.

What would be helpful to those who took the time you help you out would be a list of the things that

(a) You have already done to turn things around, and
(b) The things you will take care of this week, and
(c) The things you will be taking care of over the next 3 months.

It will also be useful for you as a check list.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 08, 2017, 12:04:50 PM
Also a tip for getting the kiddos on board. Instead of saying you're no longer buying X snack or eating X, just start having "cooking lessons" with him or her. They can use a butter knife to make cheese slices, an apple corer, etc. When they cook it, they're much more enthusiastic about eating it.

Don't believe me? My sons just helped to make warm broccoli and pear salad with cranberries (from Budget Bytes) and corn muffins for lunch--and ate it! They are 8 and 9.

This is true, and great advice.  Involve the kids in the food prep -- don't just put the plate in front of them.   I've been cooking with my kids since they were the same age your kids are now.  Even a two year old can try to spread cream cheese, separate an orange, etc.   My kids used to love making "ants on a toilet seat" -- take an apple ring, spread peanut butter on it, and then put raisins into the peanut butter.   
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MDM on January 08, 2017, 12:08:52 PM
But to put it simply, I do NOT have employees. I am self employed and work with other self employed people, under a company umbrella. So I, and other self employed people, share secretaries and office staff and their expense is pooled and split.
...
Accountant says because of the structure and who receives the food, I am not allowed to deduct the lunch expense.

Let us know how the "Hey folks, I've had my turn - who's going to start buying the lunches for 2017?" talk goes tomorrow.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 08, 2017, 12:23:53 PM
You guys eat out so much!  You need to make a plan for that together.  Can you be in charge of dishes and clean-up if your wife promises to cook 3 meals every day?

Just a heads-up....I know advertising makes it seem like prepackaged crap is normal, but its not.  We literally buy 0 single-serving pouches of anything, and in fact no packaged food at all beyond an OCCASIONAL box of ritz crackers or cereal.

Do you have kids?
Glad you asked!

I have 4: a just turned 5 year old, twin 4 year olds, and a 2 year old!  I also work part-time and run a vacation rental. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: With This Herring on January 08, 2017, 12:35:27 PM
You guys eat out so much!  You need to make a plan for that together.  Can you be in charge of dishes and clean-up if your wife promises to cook 3 meals every day?

Just a heads-up....I know advertising makes it seem like prepackaged crap is normal, but its not.  We literally buy 0 single-serving pouches of anything, and in fact no packaged food at all beyond an OCCASIONAL box of ritz crackers or cereal.

Do you have kids?

Kids, especially kids who are not even in grade school and aren't subject to peer pressure yet, do not need single-size serving packages.  It is a simple thing to take big jar of applesauce, plop some in a little bowl, and give it to the child.  Small children do not need to go feeding themselves tiny snacks at random.

"Good news.  Mom/Dad made MUFFINS!"  *cue super-excitedness from other parent*  Now your kids are happy about muffins.

With their ages, kids will be very happy to watch popcorn pop in a pot on the stove.  It's like  happy, noisy magic, especially if that pot has a glass lid.

Groceries So Far in 2017

That is a LOT on groceries, even at $357.  What did you guys buy?  What of it is non-perishable, packaged snack food/boxed mixes/instant dinners that can be returned?  What of it is overpriced brand name cleaning supplies that can be returned?  Dig that receipt out of the trash! Return what you can!  Return what is not staples!  No soda pop, no single-serving packages.  Almost all cleaning can be done with baking soda and vinegar.  Buy a 5-lb box of baking soda for $2 and a $2 gallon of white vinegar, and you are set for a long time.

Save your receipts, because you will want a lot more detail on where this grocery money is going.  If you can't find the receipt in the trash, whoever did the shopping should make a list of everything they remember buying.  Look through the fridge, cabinets, pantries, etc.

*snip*
We don't throw away food due to expiration dates. But our kids will eat part of an orange and throw the rest away. Or open a banana and then not want it and we have to throw it away.
*snip*

Well, the kids don't get their own bananas and oranges now.  Mom opens an orange, gives segment to each child, then keeps feeding them segments until they are done.  Then she finishes off the orange and eats another if she wants.  Same with bananas.  Slice up a banana, feed the kids slices until they don't want more banana, and Mom finishes it off and decides if she wants a whole banana in addition.

Furniture Loan

What?  Oh no.  Sell the sofas.  Replace them with free ones on CraigsList.  That's where I got my sofa.

Taxes

I will second Pizzabrewer's advice on catching up on tax filings first, then getting help in setting up repayment plans.

For taxes going forward:  It looks like, since you have employee-style payroll withholdings yet also talk about paying tax estimates, that you are the sole shareholder of an S Corporation.  Is this correct?  (This is such a common setup that it is not personally identifying.)  If so, ask the accountant you mentioned advice on increasing up your paycheck income tax withholdings to cover your W-2 income AND your estimated S Corp income.  This might be the best move for you if you have a hard time saving up money for your quarterly estimates.

Clothing

If you, your wife, or kids really need a replacement shirt because the last few shirts are wearing out, you need to go to a thrift store.  Goodwill, VOA, Salvation Army - pick whichever one is cheapest in your area.  You should be able to pick up new articles of clothing for around $2 each.  If your kids have taller cousins and friends, ASK for hand-me-downs.  You and your wife are probably set for clothing for 5+ years at least, but your kids will keep growing.  The best clothes are free.  I am being completely serious.  I am financially in an excellent place, and when I purchase my one or two articles of clothing a year, I get them second-hand.  I am an adult, so I'm not growing, and I do not wear out clothing quickly.

Windfalls

The next time your family receives any financial windfall - such as a bonus, a tax refund, a gift from a family member, or (heaven forbid) an inheritance - it MUST go to paying off your debts.  Do not think "We have worked so hard lately; we deserve a treat" or "We were not expecting this money, so it doesn't matter to our budget.  We will take a nice vacation."  Do not do it!  That is something it makes us very sad to see.  A family that is only barely scraping by gets an income tax refund, and instead of making that money an emergency fund, they buy a TV or go to lots of restaurants or take a nice vacation.

To Do Today
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 08, 2017, 01:03:57 PM
You guys eat out so much!  You need to make a plan for that together.  Can you be in charge of dishes and clean-up if your wife promises to cook 3 meals every day?

Just a heads-up....I know advertising makes it seem like prepackaged crap is normal, but its not.  We literally buy 0 single-serving pouches of anything, and in fact no packaged food at all beyond an OCCASIONAL box of ritz crackers or cereal.

Do you have kids?
Glad you asked!

I have 4: a just turned 5 year old, twin 4 year olds, and a 2 year old!  I also work part-time and run a vacation rental.


Oops got snarky again.  Just to be clear, it is not EASY, but life is not supposed to be easy.  It is supposed to be challenging, and you must rise to the challenge and enjoy the challenge.  :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 08, 2017, 01:13:41 PM
Just thought of something.  Does your wife do the grocery shopping with the kids?  I definitely know how annoying it is for them to be whining in the store for something.  I could see how that might influence her purchases. 

Can you do the shopping on your way home from work from now on?  With your meal plan, you'll be able to get the next day's food.  (We shop everyday for one day's food...its a small town in mexico thing.  You might also do weekly shopping but leave the kids at home).
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 01:25:18 PM

Wish people would post a sample daily menu their family eats, including drinks and snacks.

Here's what we typically eat in the 1967 family!

Breakfast:
Oatmeal (from scratch, not packets) with toppings that I keep in a box with tiny jars of: brown sugar, craisins, raisins, blanched almonds, coconut (I can hear 1967dada chopping apples right now for the oatmeal!)
Homemade granola (sometimes with milk, sometimes over yogurt) - buy a full sized container, not little cups of yogurt)
Toast
Eggs and toast
Eggs and bacon
Eggs and sausages

Lunch:
Any leftovers reheated
Homemade bread from the freezer - sandwiches: pbj, chicken salad, egg salad, ham (from a whole ham), cheese and cucumber, grilled cheese
Soup made with frozen bone broth from chicken bones
Homemade pizza
Eggs (poached, fried, scrambled, put in a wrap with grated cheese)

Dinner:
A whole roasted chicken with carrots and potatoes
Spaghetti and meat sauce
Chili and buns with raw veggies
Casserole with bits of chicken, veggies and rice
Homemade hamburgers on the grill (and homemade buns)
Beef stew with biscuits
Chicken stew and dumplings
Curry

Snacks:
Smoothies (no mixes - frozen fruit - save those 1/2 pieces of fruit from the kids in a ziplock in the freezer and also chop up and freeze fruit that is about to go bad)
Popcorn
Homemade baked goods - cookies, homemade granola bars, the brownie mixes you have - use them up
Then make your own)
Fresh fruit cut up
Cheese cut into little squares

Drinks:
Milk
Water
Homemade iced tea and lemonade

ETA photo from today's breakfast. Those are the little jars I was mentioning with toppings for the oatmeal.

Why do you make your own bread?

At least where I live, bread is very cheap.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 08, 2017, 01:25:43 PM
Just thought of something.  Does your wife do the grocery shopping with the kids?  I definitely know how annoying it is for them to be whining in the store for something.  I could see how that might influence her purchases. 

Can you do the shopping on your way home from work from now on?  With your meal plan, you'll be able to get the next day's food.  (We shop everyday for one day's food...its a small town in mexico thing.  You might also do weekly shopping but leave the kids at home).

In fact, doing this could earn you a much higher hourly "wage" (in terms of lower household expenses) than a second job.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 02:27:29 PM
Thanks for the advice everyone.

I'm reading every post even if I don't respond to all of them.

QUESTION: I want to set a goal. What should be my 3, 6, 9, 12 month goals?

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: With This Herring on January 08, 2017, 02:29:04 PM

Here's what we typically eat in the 1967 family!

Breakfast:
*snip*
Lunch:
Any leftovers reheated
Homemade bread from the freezer - sandwiches: pbj, chicken salad, egg salad, ham (from a whole ham), cheese and cucumber, grilled cheese
*snip*

Why do you make your own bread?

At least where I live, bread is very cheap.

How much does a 1-pound loaf of decent quality, non-Wonderbread cost in your area?  How much are the ingredients for a one-pound loaf of homemade bread? (https://www.budgetbytes.com/2015/02/no-knead-english-muffin-bread/)  Bread flour, salt, water, yeast/sourdough starter, plus add-ins.  Homemade bread can be cheaper than store-bought for basic bread, but homemade bread tends to be MUCH cheaper if you get into fancier (tastier) loaves, fancy ingredients, etc.  1967mama and family might like really fancy artisan oatmeal and whole wheat bread with baked-in nuts.  That might run $4+ in the store, while the ingredients might run $1.  So, it makes sense for them to bake four or more loaves at once, then store them in the freezer until they are needed.

We buy sliced bread occasionally (I should start making it), but I make all of our muffins, biscuits, cinnamon rolls, and rosemary buns from scratch.  It really isn't difficult, and the taste is so much better.  Have you ever had fresh, homemade cinnamon rolls?  They are a treat!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 02:34:59 PM
But to put it simply, I do NOT have employees. I am self employed and work with other self employed people, under a company umbrella. So I, and other self employed people, share secretaries and office staff and their expense is pooled and split.
...
Accountant says because of the structure and who receives the food, I am not allowed to deduct the lunch expense.

Let us know how the "Hey folks, I've had my turn - who's going to start buying the lunches for 2017?" talk goes tomorrow.

This is my favorite idea as far as the lunches go.

Instead of telling people "too bad, the lunch ride is over", spin it as my turn is simply over, and who is taking over the torch next?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 08, 2017, 02:44:54 PM
I adore homemade bread but haven't been making it much because of the time and the fact that my yeast was old and sucky. I need to do that more though just because it tastes so good! That way you can also control the ingredients. Trader Joe's does a great job of good bread with only a few ingredients but good lord is the "healthy" bread at places like Safeway terrible. Twenty ingredients, half of them requiring a class in organic chemistry to pronounce, and all that added sugar. Stay far away if you possibly can.

On a separate note, it may be helpful to change your perspective on what "kids' food" is. We took that strategy from the beginning that we were not feeding our baby "baby food" but real people food. That meant at six months she got little pieces of avocado and banana, and then graduated to sweet potato fries and squash. She has always eaten pretty much what we eat except cooler and less spicy. Even kids with no or few teeth can eat almost everything with their hard gums. She doesn't get kids' snacks or drinks or pouches or any of that nonsense; she eats a proper meal with us or snacks with us. It always real food. My 2.5 year-old loves olives, my banana bread, cheese, dark chocolate covered almonds, and things like salmon and chicken skin (yes, she is a little weird). She can even eat fairly spicy food as long as we don't tell her it is spicy. :) Give your kids a chance to eat real good like real people and you may be pleasantly surprised. If not, then remember that you are the adult and you control what choices they have to eat, so start giving them the options of only good things.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 08, 2017, 02:58:25 PM
Hey Beatles - Setting goals is great, but you can't be doing them by yourself. We can give you suggestions, but you and your wife need to be the ones working together to establish and follow through on them.

"True Love is not two people looking at each other, but two people looking in the same direction, together"

You have said your wife is on board, but you haven't really responded to all the suggestions about her being your family's CFO. I imagine you are both feeling pretty overwhelmed.

I would HIGHLY encourage your wife to create an account and get involved with the forums herself. There are so many SAHP on the boards who have fought these battles and are here to support each other. Yes, we can be a direct, no-nonsense, call you on your bullshit community - but it is because we care and want to see you succeed. many of the changes will need to be steered by your wife, she has a support network here if she chooses to get involved. Never underestimate the value of community.

As you are going through, I think it would be super valuable to look at everything in your life and figure out what is a universal truth, and what is a bullshit rule.  Universal truths are true for everyone.

Example: Sugar is addictive and has no nutritional value. Can't argue with it, it is an established universal truth. do you want to be setting your children up for a lifetime of health problems by giving in to their wants?

Examples of a bullshit rule (these are learned or impressed upon you, often from a young age that you have never questioned. They are constructs of how you were raised, society, culture and so on. Some have value, some do not, it is up to you to examine them as a free thinking adult and see if they have value FOR YOU): "there is no way I can't live without x" "It is impossible to spend less than x on something" "Success is measured by having x flashy thing" "having a house is always a better investment then renting" "If I don't give my kids X their life will be ruined" "Becuase I have done something once, I always have to continue to do it" "Buy now and pay later is a part of life" and on and on and on. How much of your thinking and decision making is on auto pilot? How has this been working out for you?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 03:21:30 PM
How much does a 1-pound loaf of decent quality, non-Wonderbread cost in your area?  How much are the ingredients for a one-pound loaf of homemade bread? (https://www.budgetbytes.com/2015/02/no-knead-english-muffin-bread/)  Bread flour, salt, water, yeast/sourdough starter, plus add-ins.  Homemade bread can be cheaper than store-bought for basic bread, but homemade bread tends to be MUCH cheaper if you get into fancier (tastier) loaves, fancy ingredients, etc.  1967mama and family might like really fancy artisan oatmeal and whole wheat bread with baked-in nuts.  That might run $4+ in the store, while the ingredients might run $1.  So, it makes sense for them to bake four or more loaves at once, then store them in the freezer until they are needed.

We buy sliced bread occasionally (I should start making it), but I make all of our muffins, biscuits, cinnamon rolls, and rosemary buns from scratch.  It really isn't difficult, and the taste is so much better.  Have you ever had fresh, homemade cinnamon rolls?  They are a treat!

We dont buy the fancy breads.

We buy the plain bread that is 99 cents.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: birdie55 on January 08, 2017, 03:31:08 PM
Once your family starts cooking from scratch, you will find the bread you are buying has quite a bit of salt and maybe sugar too.  Let alone all the other ingredients that are not in homemade bread.  It is a process once you reduce the preservatives and other chemicals in your foods, you start making more items at home, stead of buying them at the store.

Bread, yogurt, rice instead of mixes are easy places to start.  Sauces from your ingredients will be cheaper and have less crap in them.  Start reading what is in the prepared foods you get in boxes.  Then decide if you want to feed that stuff to growing children.  It's amazing once you start reading...
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MilesTeg on January 08, 2017, 03:39:42 PM
I was about to pile on about the food expenses (yours are insane!) but looks like that is covered. This is something we have struggled with in our budget (2 adults) but you make us look down right ultra frugal!.

Our biggest problem is, honestly, laziness. To combat that, we cook up multi day meals and freeze them. We'll make up several dishes of enchiladas, meatloaf (good meatloaf is good!), soups, and other "bulk" foods and then package them up in individual servings and freeze. I take them to work for lunch (bonus, no cooler needed if they are frozen!) and we eat them as the "main course" of dinners only adding in veggie sides or other things that are much better never frozen.

We also do lots of crock pot meals (stews, etc.). We don't necessarily do it from scratch (often it's just a combination of canned/frozen items + a few fresh items) but it's a lot cheaper and easier than some alternatives. And with a big crock pot it is easily several meals worth (and sometimes we just refresh it!).

We've found the best way to keep variety while eating fairly cheaply is not in the "main course" but in the sides. Meatloaf every day for a few days sounds terrible, unless you have a rotating set of yummy sides.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MDM on January 08, 2017, 03:44:06 PM
This is my favorite idea as far as the lunches go.

Instead of telling people "too bad, the lunch ride is over", spin it as my turn is simply over, and who is taking over the torch next?
Yep.  You might need to be the candy coated rock, or the velvet covered iron bar, or whatever metaphor you prefer - just smile nicely when you convey the message, but do convey the message.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 08, 2017, 04:07:22 PM
This is my favorite idea as far as the lunches go.

Instead of telling people "too bad, the lunch ride is over", spin it as my turn is simply over, and who is taking over the torch next?
Yep.  You might need to be the candy coated rock, or the velvet covered iron bar, or whatever metaphor you prefer - just smile nicely when you convey the message, but do convey the message.

This is fine for your coworkers.  But I'm noticing a pattern here.  You need to learn how to say no to people. 

No is a complete sentence.  You don't need to explain anything to anyone (unless you want to).  No is an answer all by itself.

You need to learn how to say no to your kids, to your wife*, and most importantly, to yourself. 

You should say no to crown molding, processed snacks, eating out, new furniture of any kind...etc.  Just no. 

*as a partner, not a dictator, as in, "No, we can't afford that. We've done the math and its not in our budget.  Should we revisit the budget to see if there's anything we can cut?"
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 08, 2017, 04:28:08 PM
I'm just catching up on all this. Wow.

We're a two person family. My grocery spending for the first week of January was $7.23.
A typical set of meals for a day:

Oatmeal breakfast -  5 cents. add a handful of frozen cranberries - now it's 9 cents.

Packed Lunches for my husband: usually about 50 cents per day. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich on homemade bread, fruit, yogurt. Sometimes I splurge and he gets a chicken sandwich - sliced from chicken breast I cook when it drops to 99 cents/lb.

The jelly is homemade from berries I picked in a public park - so almost no cost (some pectin and sugar). The bread is from flour that was $1.50 for 5 lbs, and a few cents of costco yeast, but as others have pointed out to me elsewhere, once you get a sourdough started you don't even need that. So the bread is probably 20 or 30 cents a loaf. The peanut butter I stocked up on when it was $2.55 a jar or so - but it generated a $2.50 off my next purchase coupon, so basically free. The yogurt is homemade - so a gallon for $3.09, or a little under 3 cents for an 8 oz cup. Sweetened with the free jelly. Fruit's the big expense, I try to keep it at 50 cents/lb and buy a lot of marked down produce or bananas. Sometimes the prices are up and he wanders out of the house with a dollar or two of fresh fruit in his lunch.

Dinner tonight: I got a huge box of eggplant marked down because the skin is pitted, so it's like 20 pounds or more for two dollars. The last two nights I made eggplant curry over rice. Tonight I'm making eggplant parm. Tomorrow I'm thinking roasted eggplant and red pepper sandwiches on fresh bread. The day after that .., maybe a lentil soup with eggplant. Every dinner's going to be well under a dollar for the two of us. And it will taste good.

To put that all in perspective - I retired this year, two years before my husband is going to. So I have made it my job to save money and have housewife skills. We have no debts, and have well funded retirement accounts. It doesn't matter. This is still my job.

If I can do this, you can do it. And the reason you can do it is that you have more motivation than me - My kid is grown, but you have two kids who are depending on you to get your act together because helping them go to college is more important than eating snacks packaged in one ounce pouches, or eating at restaurants or buying makeup kits.

Still trying to put it into perspective for you: every single week you bought lunches for your coworkers, you made a decision you'd rather throw that money away than pay for a credit hour of tuition for one of your kids at a community college.

And that's a great way to have the no more lunches conversation if you feel you do need an explanation: Hey guys, my kids are getting close to school age, and my wife and I decided instead of splurging on meals out, it's time to start a fund for their college.

Nobody will give you grief about that and it doesn't make you sound embarrassingly out of control with your debts; it makes you sound responsible.

And next time you want to make a large unnecessary purchase, like a new tv, do the math on how many college credits it will cost, and make a deliberate decision about which is more valuable - because you can't pay for both.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 08, 2017, 05:03:54 PM
Beatles --

Just wanted to say -- you've had a full-facial blast of advice from all of us in the past two days.  Good on you for sticking with this, and we hope to see your wife on the forum too.   Remember -- if we can do it, your family can do it too.   We are here for you. 

T
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Allie on January 08, 2017, 05:14:59 PM
I love your case study, in part, because you are in a place where everything is so doable!  Seriously, you are in debt and super far behind, but it's because of crown molding and couches and gummy treats.  It's because of things you can happily live without.  If you were choosing between taking care of an elderly parent and saving, I'd be so worried, but you aren't.  You get to choose between Dave and Buster's and your future security and freedom.  Is there really a choice here?  How awesome is that!?!

I'm putting up our weekly menu on my journal, in case you want another list.  Most of my journal is travel, food, kid, and home related.  The link is below, just go to the last page!

Our situation was a little different, but we paid off debt a few years ago, drank the kook aid, and are on our way to FIRE.  It's uncomfortable at first, but totally worth it! 

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 05:41:08 PM
I found something really cool.

A lot of people have asked for a receipt, but I had thrown ours away.

But then I realized that our store's website keeps a record of receipts so I was able to login and get it.

Here you go:

QTY
Product
Size
Department
Extended Price
ADD ALL TO LIST

1
Silk Nutchello Nut-Based Beverage, Rich Dark Chocolate + Walnuts
002529300300
48 FO
Nature's Marketplace
4.49


MFR COUPON SAVINGS
-1.00
1
Bananas
020401100000
1 LB
Produce
1.76


1
Skinny Cow Candy, Dreamy Clusters, Milk Chocolate
002800094274
6 OZ
Grocery Food
3.99


SHOPPERS CLUB SAVINGS
-0.50
1
Generic Shredded Sharp Cheddar Cheese
007789033441
16 OZ
Dairy
3.99


1
Generic Plain Chicken, Honey Brined Rotisserie
021768000000
1 EA
Packaged Meals, Entrees, and Sides
4.99


1
Greenhouse Grown Orange Peppers
024312100000
1 LB
Produce
2.35


1
Generic Sweet Bread & Butter Chips
007789055100
24 FO
Grocery Food
2.49


1
Bulk Garlic
020460800000
1 LB
Produce
0.60


1
Generic Food You Feel Good About One Dozen Large Eggs
007789080133
24 OZ
Dairy
1.19


1
Nest Skin Cow Crsp
002800032267
5 OZ
Grocery Food
3.99


SHOPPERS CLUB SAVINGS
-0.50
1
WB Nat Chnk Aplsc
007789020543
23 OZ
Grocery Food
1.79


1
Arm & Hammer Baking Soda, Pure, Value Size
003320001170
4 LB
Household Essentials
2.79


1
Generic Thin Sliced Swiss Cheese
007789099728
8 OZ
Dairy
2.49


1
Generic Food You Feel Good About Just Picked and Quickly Frozen Halves & Quarters Artichoke Hearts
007789060893
12 OZ
Frozen Foods
3.99


1
Generic Food You Feel Good About Yellow Onions
007789098054
2 LB
Produce
1.99


1
Old El Paso Refried Beans, Traditional
004600082121
16 OZ
International Foods
1.29


1
Generic Food You Feel Good About Vitamin D Milk
007789093986
0 GL
Dairy
1.79


1
Generic Food You Feel Good About Sour Cream
007789071492
16 OZ
Dairy
1.49


3
Stf Rotiss Chkn
001380091355
14 OZ
Frozen Foods
11.97


1
Sargento Off the Block Shredded Cheese, Traditional Cut, Extra Sharp Cheddar
004610041103
7 OZ
Dairy
3.19


2
Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner, Original Flavor
002100065883
7 OZ
Grocery Food
2.18


1
Select Nectarines
020437800000
1 LB
Produce
3.41


1
Wg Dessert Cups
007789092124
5 OZ
OTHER
2.00


1
Goya Yellow Rice/C
004133102679
8 OZ
International Foods
1.99


1
Special K Pastry Crisps, Strawberry
003800049065
4 OZ
Grocery Food
2.99


1
WB Storage Bag Gal
007789035940
40 CT
Household Essentials
2.99


1
Generic Organic Food You Feel Good About Fruit Twists, Variety Pack, FAMILY PACK
007789036696
13 OZ
Nature's Marketplace
6.99


1
Generic Food You Feel Good About Cinnamon Apple Sauce Pouches
007789036837
13 OZ
Grocery Food
2.19


1
Weg FYFGA Parm Rom
007789036280
72 OZ
Grocery Food
2.99


1
Weg Nuggets Pasta
007789023399
16 OZ
Grocery Food
0.99


2
Nest Skinny Mk Cho
002800044955
5 OZ
Grocery Food
5.84


1
Driscoll's Raspberries, Organic
071575610004
6 OZ
Produce
3.49


1
Tasty Bite Channa Masala
078273300026
10 OZ
Nature's Marketplace
3.19


1
Greenhouse Grown Tomatoes On-The-Vine
020466400000
1 LB
Produce
2.12


1
Hass Avocados
020404600000
1 EA
Produce
1.50


1
Generic Food You Feel Good About Ultra Pasteurized Half & Half
007789033269
1 PT
Dairy
1.69


1
Generic Food You Feel Good About Fresh Living Basil
007789090497
1 EA
Produce
2.99


1
Monks' Bread, Wheat Wholegrain
004167821555
16 OZ
Bakery
2.59


1
A & W Root Beer, Diet
007800005346
2 L.
Beverages
1.59


1
Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Almondmilk, Unsweetened, Original
004157005670
64 FO
Dairy
2.99


1
Generic Whipped Topping
007789016387
8 OZ
Frozen Foods
1.29


1
Sprite Soda, Lemon-Lime
004900005017
2 L.
Beverages
1.69


SHOPPERS CLUB SAVINGS
-0.19
1
Generic Food You Feel Good About Just Picked Broccoli Cuts
007789012691
12 OZ
Frozen Foods
0.99


1
Amy's Pizza, Cheese
004227200101
13 OZ
Nature's Marketplace
6.49


1
Amy's Pizza, Pesto
004227200104
14 OZ
Nature's Marketplace
6.49


1
Generic Food You Feel Good About Steamables Jasmine White Rice
007789025087
10 OZ
Frozen Foods
1.19


1
Generic Baking Powder, Double Acting
007789056714
10 OZ
Grocery Food
1.79


1
Generic Food You Feel Good About Just Picked and Quickly Frozen Super-Sweet Corn
007789012694
12 OZ
Frozen Foods
0.99


1
Hebrew National Franks, Beef, Jumbo
007495628300
12 OZ
Dairy
4.99


SHOPPERS CLUB SAVINGS
-1.00
1
Frontera Taco Skillet Sauce, Texas Original, Mild
060418312170
8 OZ
International Foods
2.49


1
Generic Organic Rosemary Olive Oil Loaf
007789029881
18 OZ
Bakery
4.50


1
Stonyfield Organic YoKids Smoothie, Strawbana, 1% Milkfat
005215970082
19 FO
Dairy
3.99


1
Generic Fajita Tortilla Gordita Style, FAMILY PACK
007789033529
30 OZ
Dairy
2.49


1
Honest Kids Juice Drink, Organic, Apple Ever After
065762281584
54 FO
Nature's Marketplace
3.19


1
Skinny Cow Candy, Dreamy Clusters, Dark Chocolate
002800032143
6 OZ
Grocery Food
3.99


SHOPPERS CLUB SAVINGS
-0.50
3
Carnation Breakfast Essentials Complete Nutritional Drink Creamy Strawberry
005000041579
48 FO
Grocery Food
18.87


1
LesserEvil Buddha Bowl Foods Popcorn, Organic, Himalayan Pink
018099900100
5 OZ
Grocery Food
3.19


SHOPPERS CLUB SAVINGS
-0.40
1
Yasso Frozen Yogurt Bars, Greek, Coffee Chocolate Chip
085103500332
14 FO
Frozen Foods
4.49


3
Stouffers Fit Kitchen Monterey Chicken
001380044535
14 OZ
Frozen Foods
11.97


1
Dunkin' Donuts Coffee, Hazelnut, K-Cup Packs
088133400301
10 CT
Beverages
7.49


2
Special K Cracker Chips, Honey Barbecue
003800059952
4 OZ
Grocery Food
5.98


1
20 Mule Team Borax Detergent Booster & Multi-Purpose Household Cleaner
002340000201
65 OZ
Household Essentials
4.49


1
Generic Food You Feel Good About Thin Sliced Chicken Cutlets
020076400000
1 LB
Meat
7.91


1
Generic Italian Classics Fresh Mozzarella Cheese
027706700000
8 OZ
Cheese Shop
3.49


1
Nestle Skinny Cow Candy Bar, Heavenly Crisp, Peanut Butter Flavor
002800032113
5 OZ
Grocery Food
3.99


SHOPPERS CLUB SAVINGS
-0.50
1
Navel Oranges
020401400000
1 EA
Produce
0.80


SHOPPERS CLUB SAVINGS 3.59
TOTAL SAVINGS 4.59
BOTTLE DEPOSIT 0.10
TAX 3.41
TOTAL 237.48
BOTTLE RETURN 1.05
COINSTAR 0.00
*****4517 Credit Card 236.43
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 08, 2017, 06:07:42 PM
Others will have much more to say, but what jumps out to me is that you have a lot of prepared food. Much of it is very expensive on a per pound basis, and is of little or no nutritional value.

Then I look at your chicken cutlets at $7.91 per pound. I get boneless, skinless chicken breasts at Sam's Club for $1.88 per pound, so you are spending 4x what I am.

The good news is that adjustments could easily be made, and would be positive for your family both nutritionally AND economically.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ChipmunkSavings on January 08, 2017, 06:10:54 PM
Hello, first time posting in this thread. I would suggest you look at this :
http://www.squawkfox.com/fluff-factor/

The ''fluff'' factor is basically non-essential, low-nutrition foods such as snacks and pre-packaged items. I looked quickly through your list and noticed many ''Skinny Cow'' items coming up. If I remember correctly, those are 'diet' chocolate snacks, such as ice cream and chocolate? That's fluff, and you are better off eating the real deal, but in smaller amounts. It will be cheaper and more satisfying. You can freeze it if you tend to eat too much. For example, I often crave chocolate chips cookies, and I will go through a batch in no time. However, I can freeze them and refreeze 1-2 when I get a craving. It's more reasonable, healthier and cheaper as well.

Another way to look at it is to consider it as food groups. Separate ''fruits and veggies'', ''dairy products (milk, yogurt and cheese only)'', ''meats and alternatives'' as well as ''grain products (such as pasta, rice, bread)''. All other items should be kept to a minimum, as they are unhealthy as well as more expensive.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyMuMu on January 08, 2017, 06:26:02 PM
I agree with the Aldi advice. Also, just a back of the envelope figure and snack, candy, and desert foods make up about 1/3 of that grocery bill. The good thing is if you cut all those out today, you could see an instant 1/3 drop in your bill. I also notice there's a lot of diet food there--cutting out snacks and candy will help watch the calories. Finally, you can still have snacks and goodies--just enjoy preparing them. Don't have time? Eat fruit.

Here's my envelope:

Silk Nutchello Nut-Based Beverage, Rich Dark Chocolate + Walnuts   4.49
Skinny Cow Candy, Dreamy Clusters, Milk Chocolate   3.99
Generic Sweet Bread & Butter Chips   2.49
Nest Skin Cow Crsp   3.99
Wg Dessert Cups   2
Special K Pastry Crisps, Strawberry   2.99
Generic Organic Food You Feel Good About Fruit Twists, Variety Pack, FAMILY PACK   6.99
Generic Food You Feel Good About Cinnamon Apple Sauce Pouches   2.19
Nest Skinny Mk Cho   5.84
A & W Root Beer, Diet   1.59
Sprite Soda, Lemon-Lime   1.69
Stonyfield Organic YoKids Smoothie, Strawbana, 1% Milkfat   3.99
Honest Kids Juice Drink, Organic, Apple Ever After   3.19
Skinny Cow Candy, Dreamy Clusters, Dark Chocolate   3.99
Carnation Breakfast Essentials Complete Nutritional Drink Creamy Strawberry   18.87
LesserEvil Buddha Bowl Foods Popcorn, Organic, Himalayan Pink   3.19
Yasso Frozen Yogurt Bars, Greek, Coffee Chocolate Chip   4.49
Special K Cracker Chips, Honey Barbecue   5.98
Nestle Skinny Cow Candy Bar, Heavenly Crisp, Peanut Butter Flavor   3.99
   TOTAL: 85.94
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 06:40:17 PM
OMG Beatles.  Thank you for posting this. Lightbulb just went on.  You shop at Wegmans, don't you?   

I lived in upstate NY, outside Syracuse for 20 years and I totally understand Wegmans.  For the other forum members in other parts of the country -- Wegmans is an excellent, upscale grocery chain. Here's the thing about Wegmans -- they have reasonable/cheap prices on food staples.   An independent study by a Syracuse newspaper reporter a few years ago showed that Wegmans beat the other local chains hands-down on costs for staples.   The thing is -- (1) Wegmans cannot beat Aldi (discount grocery) overall for costs.  And (2) Very, very few people have the discipline to just buy staples at Wegmans, but not the insanely good, upscale items.  Wegmans is very, very seductive.

Beatles -- here's what you must do:  Stop going to Wegmans.  (I say that with a pang, because part of me loves Wegmans.)  But you must stop going.  You can't afford it right now.   As of now, you shop at Aldi.  Trust me, you will be able to get what you need at Aldi.  Until your financial situation is stabilized, you are an Aldi shopper.  Please trust me on this. 

Shop -- without the kids-- at Aldi.     

     

Hey there neighbor! (Sort of)

Yes, it's wegmans!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 08, 2017, 06:46:52 PM
I agree with the Aldi advice. Also, just a back of the envelope figure and snack, candy, and desert foods make up about 1/3 of that grocery bill. The good thing is if you cut all those out today, you could see an instant 1/3 drop in your bill. I also notice there's a lot of diet food there--cutting out snacks and candy will help watch the calories. Finally, you can still have snacks and goodies--just enjoy preparing them. Don't have time? Eat fruit.

Here's my envelope:

Silk Nutchello Nut-Based Beverage, Rich Dark Chocolate + Walnuts   4.49
Skinny Cow Candy, Dreamy Clusters, Milk Chocolate   3.99
Generic Sweet Bread & Butter Chips   2.49
Nest Skin Cow Crsp   3.99
Wg Dessert Cups   2
Special K Pastry Crisps, Strawberry   2.99
Generic Organic Food You Feel Good About Fruit Twists, Variety Pack, FAMILY PACK   6.99
Generic Food You Feel Good About Cinnamon Apple Sauce Pouches   2.19
Nest Skinny Mk Cho   5.84
A & W Root Beer, Diet   1.59
Sprite Soda, Lemon-Lime   1.69
Stonyfield Organic YoKids Smoothie, Strawbana, 1% Milkfat   3.99
Honest Kids Juice Drink, Organic, Apple Ever After   3.19
Skinny Cow Candy, Dreamy Clusters, Dark Chocolate   3.99
Carnation Breakfast Essentials Complete Nutritional Drink Creamy Strawberry   18.87
LesserEvil Buddha Bowl Foods Popcorn, Organic, Himalayan Pink   3.19
Yasso Frozen Yogurt Bars, Greek, Coffee Chocolate Chip   4.49
Special K Cracker Chips, Honey Barbecue   5.98
Nestle Skinny Cow Candy Bar, Heavenly Crisp, Peanut Butter Flavor   3.99
   TOTAL: 85.94

Thank you for this.

So all that is an $86 savings?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 08, 2017, 06:48:52 PM
Hi neighbor!  Yep, you got it -- you will save that much and more. :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 08, 2017, 07:03:57 PM
I think I see the problem.  Almost everything on that shopping list says to me "single girl about town" and almost nothing on it says "married woman feeding a family of four".  So there is the big change which needs to be made, and once it is the rest will start to fall into place.

Is there anyone on your wife's side of the family who cooks basic meals from scratch?  Mother, grandmother, aunt?  Someone who can pass on some shopping tips and a familiar and basic family recipe for something like cottage pie?  Otherwise, the lists and resources already posted on this thread are the place to start, but it is often easier to make a big change such as this by starting from a familiar place and with help in person from someone known.

I agree with going to Aldi - not only is it cheaper, but changing the place where you shop is probably the easiest way to make a clean break and start new shopping habits.

Also, this is a win/win - the whole family will be healthier for cutting out all those nonsense bits and pieces as well as wealthier.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MoseyingAlong on January 08, 2017, 07:08:00 PM
Our situation was a little different, but we paid off debt a few years ago, drank the kook aid, and are on our way to FIRE.  It's uncomfortable at first, but totally worth it!

Kook aid!

What a great typo. That made me chuckle. And, from some people's perspective, so true.
Thanks for the laugh.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: terran on January 08, 2017, 07:37:08 PM
Just to chime in on wegmans, my wife and I do most of our shopping there and budget $75/week for the two of us (usually come in a bit under), and only a few things on our list tend to be cheaper elsewhere. A couple of things I notice from that last shopping trip:

> lots of cheese (not the cheapest stuff anyway) and lots of it is preshredded -- 8oz of any of those is $2.99 at wegmans, and cheaper per unit if you buy in larger quantities (as long as that doesn't make you eat more)
> lots of skinny cow which looks pretty pricey.
> lots of sweet beverages (soda, chocolate nut milk, carnation) that you could probably do without
> Not the time of year to be buying fresh raspberries. Shopping seasonally and not expecting to always buy whatever you want is a good way to save money. Some things don't really change year round, others do and berries are definitely one of them.
> Fresh herbs (basil) are always pricey. You might try substituting dry, and shopping around for a standalone spice store or buying online can save money since McCormick, etc found at grocery stores is pretty expensive.
> Single packs (like the applesauce, maybe the yogurt) are usually more expensive than buying the full size version and portioning it out yourself.
> "Just add rice" type meals (channa masala) are usually a good place to look for savings by creating it from scratch yourself.
> From scratch pizza isn't that hard as a replacement for the frozen pizzas.
> $7.91/lb chicken cutlets are very expensive. boneless/skinless chicken breast is $1.99 at wegmans. We "spring" for the hand trimmed version at $2.99/lb because I find I have less fat trimming work to do, but it's certainly not necessary.
> Rice is cheap and can easily be cooked in 15-20 minutes while you're prepping the rest of dinner. No need to microwave in the bag rice. What you bought is $1.19/2-serivings. We buy Goya Canilla for $1.49/lb (serves 10 -- or a 20lb, 202 serving bag for $10.99), and there are definitely cheaper options

If you're in Rochester I might be able to give you a couple of other location specific tips.

I think it's already been mentioned, but definitely check out https://www.budgetbytes.com/. I think you'll find some things that are up your alley given some of your shopping choices.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 08, 2017, 08:14:42 PM
Good job finding the receipt! That helps a lot to see where the grocery money is going - and how easy it would be to save significantly there. Without even changing stores, I came up with $139.34 in savings.

I broke it into two categories:
Stuff you should swap for healthier/cheaper options ($65.87)
and Crap you Shouldn't Buy at all ($73.47)

Here's my breakdown of swapped foods:

Dunkin' Donuts Coffee, Hazelnut, K-Cup Packs 10 CT 7.49
NO. This works out to $24/lb for coffee. (< -- edited - late night math isn't my thing.) Sell the keurig, get a regular coffee pot - a drip pot or french press. In theory you could keep your machine and get reusable pods that you fill yourself with coffee at a noninsane price. But given your habits, I wouldn't trust you to stop doing impulse buys of disposable pods even if a refillable one was in your house and all you had to do was literally put a spoonful of coffee into it. A 12 ounce bag of 8 o’clock coffee with a 1 dollar coupon was $4.49 last week at wegman's, or $6/lb.
Savings: $6.08

Stf Rotiss Chkn  14 OZ 11.97
This is $13.68/lb, and wegmans had boneless/skinless chicken breasts on sale last week for $1.88/lb.
Savings: $10.32

Generic Food You Feel Good About Thin Sliced Chicken Cutlets 1 LB 7.91
NO. The chicken was 1.88/lb last week at the same store!
Savings: $6.03

Stouffers Fit Kitchen Monterey Chicken 14 OZ 11.97
No. $13.68/lb for chicken? No. It was 1.88/lb if you make it yourself.
Savings: $10.32

Amy's Pizza, Cheese 13 OZ 6.49
No. This is $8/lb. Make your own pizza, 50 cents for the crust, I’ll generously give you a dollar for all toppings.
Savings: $5

Amy's Pizza, Pesto 14 OZ 6.49
Nope. Make your own.
Savings: $5

Yasso Frozen Yogurt Bars, Greek, Coffee Chocolate Chip 14 FO 4.49
NO. You have a great price on milk in your area. Now you make your own yogurt and freeze it. Instead of $5/lb, you now spend 22 cents/lb, plus a little extra for sweetener
Savings: $4.25

Generic Food You Feel Good About Sour Cream 16 OZ 1.49
Now you make your own yogurt from your awesomely priced milk, and use the yogurt in place of sour cream.
Savings: $1.20

Tasty Bite Channa Masala 10 OZ 3.19
No. At $5/lb it’s too expensive. You need to learn to make your own for 50 cents/lb.
Savings: $2.87

Old El Paso Refried Beans, Traditional 16 OZ 1.29
Your wife stays home all day, she can manage cooking dried beans.
Savings: 50 cents

Silk Nutchello Nut-Based Beverage, Rich Dark Chocolate + Walnuts: 4.49
If you are lactose intolerant you now make your own rice milk. Here’s the directions: http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2012/12/diy-rice-milk-recipe.html
Savings: $4

Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Almondmilk, Unsweetened, Original 64 FO 2.99
No. You make your own rice milk now.
Savings: $2

Sargento Off the Block Shredded Cheese, Traditional Cut, Extra Sharp Cheddar 7 OZ 3.19
You got a pound of shredded cheese for 3.99 earlier on the receipt; why are you paying double for this cheese?
Savings: $1.44

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner, Original Flavor 7 OZ 2.18
Barilla pasta was $1.14 at wegmans last week with a coupon. Add a handful of your shredded cheese and a splash of milk to that instead of paying $5/lb for something less healthy.
Savings: $1.40

Goya Yellow Rice/C  8 OZ 1.99
$4/lb for rice is absurd. You should be able to find it for $1/lb.
Savings: $1.50

Monks' Bread, Wheat Wholegrain 16 OZ 2.59
No. Make your own bread for 50 cents or less.
Savings: $2

Hebrew National Franks, Beef, Jumbo 12 OZ 4.99
No. $6.65/lb - the b/s chicken breasts were way cheaper and healthier.
Savings: $2.78

Frontera Taco Skillet Sauce, Texas Original, Mild 8 OZ 2.49
No. Buy the dry spices, quit paying for something that’s probably mostly water.
Savings: $2

Generic Organic Rosemary Olive Oil Loaf 18 OZ 4.50
NO. Make your own bread for 50 cents, add rosemary to it if you want it fancy.
Savings: $4

Stonyfield Organic YoKids Smoothie, Strawbana, 1% Milkfat 19 FO 3.99
No. Make your own yogurt, make your own smoothies for $1/lb (cost of homemade yogurt and your crazy expensive bananas.)
Savings: $2.88

Generic Food You Feel Good About Steamables Jasmine White Rice 10 OZ 1.19
Look for a regular bag of dry rice. Forget paying for packaging.
Savings: $.62

Now the crap you shouldn't have bought at all:

Skinny Cow Candy, Dreamy Clusters, Milk Chocolate 6 OZ 3.99
You are paying over $10/lb for crap.
Savings: $3.99

Nest Skin Cow Crsp  5 OZ 3.99
Almost $13/lb for crap.
Savings: $3.99

Skinny Cow Candy, Dreamy Clusters, Dark Chocolate 6 OZ 3.99
NO. This is over $10/lb for garbage.
Savings: $3.19

Nestle Skinny Cow Candy Bar, Heavenly Crisp, Peanut Butter Flavor 5 OZ 3.99
No. This is crap.
Savings: $3.19

Nest Skinny Mk Cho  5 OZ 5.84
No. This is $18.68/lb for garbage.
Savings: 5.84

A & W Root Beer, Diet 2 L. 1.59
No. You drink tap water now.
Savings: 1.59

Generic Whipped Topping 8 OZ 1.29
No.
Savings: 1.29

Sprite Soda, Lemon-Lime 2 L. 1.69
No.
Savings: 1.69

Generic Food You Feel Good About Just Picked and Quickly Frozen Halves & Quarters Artichoke Hearts  12 OZ 3.99 I love artichoke hearts as much as anyone, but I gave them up as a luxury and you need to also.
Savings: 3.99

Wg Dessert Cups  5 OZ 2.00
NO. I don’t know what this is exactly, but it’s $6/lb for something I’m sure is junk food.
Savings: $2

Special K Pastry Crisps, Strawberry 4 OZ 2.99
NO. $12/lb for garbage.
Savings: 2.99

Generic Organic Food You Feel Good About Fruit Twists, Variety Pack, FAMILY 13 OZ Nature's Marketplace 6.99
NO. $8.60/lb. Just buy 13 oz of real fruit for $2. This is not something you can “feel good about.”
Savings: $5

Driscoll's Raspberries, Organic 6 OZ 3.49
No. Healthy, but at $9.30/lb you need to pick other fruit.

Honest Kids Juice Drink, Organic, Apple Ever After 54 FO 3.19
No. Train your kids to drink tap water.
Savings: 3.19

Carnation Breakfast Essentials Complete Nutritional Drink Creamy Strawberry
48 FO
18.87
NO. Make an actual breakfast. $6/lb is too much for fake food.

LesserEvil Buddha Bowl Foods Popcorn, Organic, Himalayan Pink
5 OZ
3.19
NO. It’s over $10/lb for something with no nutritional value.

Special K Cracker Chips, Honey Barbecue 4 OZ 5.98
NO. $24/lb for crackers? No. Make bread, eat bread instead of crackers. Or make crackers yourself.

----------
With all the carbs I eliminated, you may need to sub in some calories. But since it's almost all junk food, you could make a couple batches of cookies or popcorn that you pop from an actual bag of kernels for less than $5 total. Or even better, swap in more yogurt, maybe with fruit or toasted oatmeal for toppings.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Poundwise on January 08, 2017, 08:28:44 PM
I live in NY  too.  Yes, the taxes and prices are something awful, and when Mr. Poundwise and I first moved here we were horrified at how the entire society seems to exist to peel the money off a person.  But the good news is with your income, with only a few small adjustments that you'll hardly miss, you'll be able to live as well as before.

You've gotten a lot of world-class advice here.  I have nothing to add but to ask, what are you going to do tomorrow?  Attack some of the low hanging fruit, like calling to downgrade your cable or cancel massage appointments?  Pack a home lunch? Have a chat with the wife? Join one of the MMM Gauntlet challenges for January? Or find a CPA to help you deal with the IRS issue?

You don't have to do it all at once, but you'll feel a lot better once you start. Good luck!!!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Splendid on January 08, 2017, 08:52:39 PM
What I find interesting is that you were questioning why people made their own bread, and stated that you buy the cheap $0.99 white bread, but your receipt has two fancy (and expensive!) breads on it: Monks' Bread, Wheat Wholegrain (2.59) and Generic Organic Rosemary Olive Oil Loaf (4.50). I know this is just one receipt, and maybe they're an unusual purchase, but there seems to be some disconnect between what you think you do and what actually happens. You need to be honest and clear with yourself (and your wife!) about what is actually going on, what you actually spend your money on. Because I doubt that the bread scenario is the only place this happens. No shame, no blame, but clarity. On the plus side, since there's obviously a taste for some fancy bread, that could be a fun place for the family cooking to start. Easy, cheap, delicious, and seems like a decadent treat!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bee21 on January 09, 2017, 03:19:23 AM
Avoid the middle aisles. It is sad that food companies managed to persuade us that the only way to feed our families is opening boxes, packets and bags. Cooking from scratch is not hard. There are heaps of video tutorials out there about how to make proper food. Check out the cooking videos at marthastewart, sarah carey is cooking everything there from brownies to salad dressing and she is awsome. Challenge yourself to learn how to cook without boxes and jars.Baking bread takes time but baking basic muffins takes only 30 minutes. Actually it doesn't take longer to make them from scratch than opening a box and adding the wet ingredients.

I recommend reading the kitchen counter cooking school, by kathleen flint, that might give you or the wife some ideas.

If impulse control is a problem, order the food online. The delivery fee will be well worth it if you buy only the items on your list. And don't  forget, you are not buying groceries, you are buying ingredients for the pre planned meals.

As for kids, you are the boss. I have a 5 and a 7 year old and they don't eat too much crap, because i don't buy them. Of course they are picky, but they have sandwiches, soups,  cut up fruit and vegetables, because that's what everyone is getting. I don't keep snacks and soft drinks in the house, because there is always screaming and tantrums about them, and i don't put up with that. My kids can make their own oj, lemonade, red drink (water and cushed berries), hot chocolate, they love mint tea. I bake a batch of muffins every week, freeze half of them and that's their treat. Today, they had 2 hummus and carrot wraps, a jam sandwich, homemade hummus dip and cucumber slices, cherry tomatoes, 3 crackers (i bought that) a banana muffin and 2 pieces of fruit in their lunch box. They don't eat much meat unfortunately, i hope that's a passing phase but at least we don't struggle with the rest of the food groups. I just finished yelling at them, because they refused to eat the lamb for dinner (but ate the salad, the peas and the sweat potatoes). Feeding kids is stressful.

And btw, how did the announcement about work lunches go? Got an appointment with a cpa yet? Have you contacted realtors?  Have you decided which credit card to pay off first?

Actually, can you sell something to give yourself a cash injection?  Any misjudged purchase you regret and still paying off?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ShoulderThingThatGoesUp on January 09, 2017, 03:23:27 AM
Is that couch loan new? Did you add it because you bought couches this weekend?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: katscratch on January 09, 2017, 04:09:20 AM
I agree that you have a lot of room to cut your grocery budget.

I also agree that your family should start cooking every single meal from scratch.  No more prepackaged stuff that isn't good for you anyway.

What I want to add is that this will be hard at first.  It will take a long time to make meals if you're not used to cooking.  Definitely use a simple meal plan - heck for the first month I would even make the same 4-5 recipes on repeat until you and your wife have a routine down for cooking/cleanup.  Once you have meal planning and lunch-taking and cooking down pat, then expand the recipes.

I'll also say that sugar is wickedly addictive and your kids get a lot of it with all the prepackaged foods - they might act out pretty dramatically once all that is gone.  It will get better.  It'll be a great learning experience for them to see that you'll be a united front as parents and there is no turning back :) 

There's a lot of other fluff in your budget, but being able to prepare your meals is just as important as managing your money and will also lead to life-changing long term habits. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 09, 2017, 06:52:22 AM
The Frugalwoods are always good to read (I recommend you and especially your wife read their whole blog) and today's is relevant.
http://www.frugalwoods.com/2017/01/09/my-foolproof-method-to-stop-impulse-spending/  (http://www.frugalwoods.com/2017/01/09/my-foolproof-method-to-stop-impulse-spending/)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 09, 2017, 07:57:59 AM
The Frugalwoods are pretty extreme if you ask me. I consider myself decently frugal but I would never do what they do simply because I don't want to. I highly doubt beatles and his family will be able to go from their current lifestyle to dumpsterdiving for used clothes. If anything this will turn them away from the path to a frugal life. My suggestion at this point would be something much less radical: taking baby steps at a time and not overdoing it right away. I realize beatles is in deep shit (I'm still desperately trying to wrap my head around the fact that a 30-year old can be 100k in debt) but in the long run taking one baby step each couple of days can be much more effective than doing a full 180 within a week. It's like trying to help a hoarder - cleaning out their apartment while they're out to lunch isn't going to help them but cause so much emotional stress instead that it has the potential of breaking them. I see the same problem here: doing a full 180 within a few days might break beatles or his family, and that's certainly not what he wants.

beatles, there's been tons of really good advice here already, and I don't really have much to add. Just remember that we're here to help you, and not to mock you. Yes, it's going to be hard. Yes, you need to rethink your life decisions and the choices you've made so far. Yes, it will require your entire family and most importantly your wife to get onboard. But it will be worth it in the long run. Just remember that for most people on these forums the ultimate goal in life is financial independence and early retirement at age 45. I know this is not my ultimate goal, and it might not be yours either. Make sure you know what you want to achieve, write it down and live every day to get a little bit closer to that goal.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 07:59:53 AM
The Frugalwoods are always good to read (I recommend you and especially your wife read their whole blog) and today's is relevant.
http://www.frugalwoods.com/2017/01/09/my-foolproof-method-to-stop-impulse-spending/  (http://www.frugalwoods.com/2017/01/09/my-foolproof-method-to-stop-impulse-spending/)

Do you have any other recommended blogs?

I tried reading that one and it feels very disorganized.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 09, 2017, 08:07:50 AM
The Frugalwoods are always good to read (I recommend you and especially your wife read their whole blog) and today's is relevant.
http://www.frugalwoods.com/2017/01/09/my-foolproof-method-to-stop-impulse-spending/  (http://www.frugalwoods.com/2017/01/09/my-foolproof-method-to-stop-impulse-spending/)

Do you have any other recommended blogs?

I tried reading that one and it feels very disorganized.

Zen habits might be more to your liking perhaps:
https://zenhabits.net/the-10-key-actions-that-finally-got-me-out-of-debt-or-why-living-frugally-is-only-part-of-the-solution/ (https://zenhabits.net/the-10-key-actions-that-finally-got-me-out-of-debt-or-why-living-frugally-is-only-part-of-the-solution/)
https://zenhabits.net/no-debt/ (https://zenhabits.net/no-debt/)

Or a similar 'minimalism' blogger:
http://www.becomingminimalist.com/33-proven-ways-to-reduce-personal-debt/ (http://www.becomingminimalist.com/33-proven-ways-to-reduce-personal-debt/)

A different blog yet again:
http://www.frugaldebtfreelife.com/main/2015/1/13/how-to-stop-living-paycheck-to-paycheck.html (http://www.frugaldebtfreelife.com/main/2015/1/13/how-to-stop-living-paycheck-to-paycheck.html)

Perhaps audio interviews are more your style:
http://financially-blonde.com/financial-grown-moments/ (http://financially-blonde.com/financial-grown-moments/)
http://financially-blonde.com/overcoming-spending-addiction/ (http://financially-blonde.com/overcoming-spending-addiction/)
http://slowyourhome.com/22/ (http://slowyourhome.com/22/)

Or a youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLN4yoAI6teROXXGb3OKTBfQ8FnIGRzoPw (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLN4yoAI6teROXXGb3OKTBfQ8FnIGRzoPw)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 09, 2017, 08:08:06 AM
http://theprudenthomemaker.com

There's a blog and some excellent low-cost recipes. Each blog entry gets many comments from black belt-level frugal folks.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 09, 2017, 08:10:29 AM
The Frugalwoods are always good to read (I recommend you and especially your wife read their whole blog) and today's is relevant.
http://www.frugalwoods.com/2017/01/09/my-foolproof-method-to-stop-impulse-spending/  (http://www.frugalwoods.com/2017/01/09/my-foolproof-method-to-stop-impulse-spending/)

Do you have any other recommended blogs?

I tried reading that one and it feels very disorganized.

The reason I suggested today's Frugalwoods  blog is because she talks about how not to make impulse purchases.  Your wife does a lot of little ones and you do a few huge ones, according to an early post of yours.  Most of the recent comments  have been on your food spending but if the money you save there gets spent on instant gratification you have gained  nothing.

Yes the Frugalwoods  are extreme but look at what they have accomplished.  Most of us here are not that extreme but either our dreams don't need that much commitment or we are not in terrible hair on fire circumstance
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 09, 2017, 08:14:10 AM
What I'm wondering is why you keep digging the debt hole.  You're clearly worried enough about it to post here, and you've gotten a lot of great advice, but it doesn't seem like you've gone after even the low-hanging fruit, like stopping the work lunches and eating out.  And now you've added couches to boot.  Why is that?  Is it that you can't say no because you don't want to disappoint people?  Is it that you really value your role as provider and don't want your coworkers or your wife to see you as less successful than you want to be?  Is it that you feel like you "deserve" it?  Is it just no impulse control or ability to delay gratification? 

You need to figure that out before you can fix anything.  Somehow, Past You thought it was ok to pre-spend more than your next year's salary on food + stuff, and now Future You is going to have to work through at least April 2018 just to pay for things you have already consumed -- not even counting interest, or that 401(k) loan that isn't even listed, or, you know, current living expenses.  You are beyond broke, hon.

My advice:  don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.  Just do *something*.  Now.  You don't have to start by baking your own bread -- just buy the generic $0.99 version and cut the Skinny Cow stuff.  Don't know how to cook or menu plan?  Try www.cooksmarts.com -- it's something like $4/month, but they plan your menu for you, give you the shopping list, and give you step-by-step instructions and tutorials.  You shop at Wegmans -- me too.  Luckily, they have a fantastic app that you can use to make your grocery list, so use it, and then stick to the list (and don't even walk into the aisles with all the fancy stuff!).  If that isn't working (maybe your wife does the shopping, maybe the kids make it difficult), then she can input the list into the app and you can pull it up on your phone and do the shopping yourself on the way home from work, with no kids to clamor for bright pretty things.  If days are too hectic to cook, then cook in batches on weekends (this is what I do, btw -- two full-time jobs and two kids = "watch NFL + cook" Sundays).  Etc.  Just keep trying until you find something that does work.  You can't afford not to.

I would also check with your wife, because a lot of these changes come down to her, and that grocery receipt suggests she isn't really in it.  Your income + debt require her to be a frugal domestic goddess.  If she isn't willing to take on that role, fine -- but then, honestly, she needs to get a job, because you guys currently cannot afford Skinny Cow and Amy's.  Both of you dug this hole, and both of you need to pull your weight getting out of it.

You asked for goals:

Within the first 3 months:  Cut all food costs down to $600 (generous -- some here do with much, much less.  Yes, with kids.).  No more late charges on mortgage, ever (there is no excuse for this.  If you can't pay the mortgage when it is due, you can't afford the house.  Period.).

6 months:  Sell rental.  Pay off IRS

1 year:  All credit cards/furniture loan gone -- paid off + cut up/frozen in a block of ice/whatever you need to do to stop using them.  Present You will never borrow from Future You, ever again.

Then you can use the extra cashflow to build up your emergency fund, pay back your parents, and then up your 401(k).

Once you've got all that done, you can save up for a fancy vacation.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ShoulderThingThatGoesUp on January 09, 2017, 08:26:21 AM
And just in case it isn't clear: if you do not change course you will lose both houses, the car, the couches, everything.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 08:37:48 AM
The Frugalwoods are always good to read (I recommend you and especially your wife read their whole blog) and today's is relevant.
http://www.frugalwoods.com/2017/01/09/my-foolproof-method-to-stop-impulse-spending/  (http://www.frugalwoods.com/2017/01/09/my-foolproof-method-to-stop-impulse-spending/)

Do you have any other recommended blogs?

I tried reading that one and it feels very disorganized.

Zen habits might be more to your liking perhaps:
https://zenhabits.net/the-10-key-actions-that-finally-got-me-out-of-debt-or-why-living-frugally-is-only-part-of-the-solution/ (https://zenhabits.net/the-10-key-actions-that-finally-got-me-out-of-debt-or-why-living-frugally-is-only-part-of-the-solution/)
https://zenhabits.net/no-debt/ (https://zenhabits.net/no-debt/)

Or a similar 'minimalism' blogger:
http://www.becomingminimalist.com/33-proven-ways-to-reduce-personal-debt/ (http://www.becomingminimalist.com/33-proven-ways-to-reduce-personal-debt/)

A different blog yet again:
http://www.frugaldebtfreelife.com/main/2015/1/13/how-to-stop-living-paycheck-to-paycheck.html (http://www.frugaldebtfreelife.com/main/2015/1/13/how-to-stop-living-paycheck-to-paycheck.html)

Perhaps audio interviews are more your style:
http://financially-blonde.com/financial-grown-moments/ (http://financially-blonde.com/financial-grown-moments/)
http://financially-blonde.com/overcoming-spending-addiction/ (http://financially-blonde.com/overcoming-spending-addiction/)
http://slowyourhome.com/22/ (http://slowyourhome.com/22/)

Or a youtube channel:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLN4yoAI6teROXXGb3OKTBfQ8FnIGRzoPw (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLN4yoAI6teROXXGb3OKTBfQ8FnIGRzoPw)

Thanks!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 08:39:22 AM
What I'm wondering is why you keep digging the debt hole.  You're clearly worried enough about it to post here, and you've gotten a lot of great advice, but it doesn't seem like you've gone after even the low-hanging fruit, like stopping the work lunches and eating out.  And now you've added couches to boot.  Why is that?  Is it that you can't say no because you don't want to disappoint people?  Is it that you really value your role as provider and don't want your coworkers or your wife to see you as less successful than you want to be?  Is it that you feel like you "deserve" it?  Is it just no impulse control or ability to delay gratification? 

I'm not sure what you mean?

I posted this on Saturday and haven't purchased a single thing since then.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 08:40:10 AM
The Frugalwoods are always good to read (I recommend you and especially your wife read their whole blog) and today's is relevant.
http://www.frugalwoods.com/2017/01/09/my-foolproof-method-to-stop-impulse-spending/  (http://www.frugalwoods.com/2017/01/09/my-foolproof-method-to-stop-impulse-spending/)

Do you have any other recommended blogs?

I tried reading that one and it feels very disorganized.

The reason I suggested today's Frugalwoods  blog is because she talks about how not to make impulse purchases.  Your wife does a lot of little ones and you do a few huge ones, according to an early post of yours.  Most of the recent comments  have been on your food spending but if the money you save there gets spent on instant gratification you have gained  nothing.

Yes the Frugalwoods  are extreme but look at what they have accomplished.  Most of us here are not that extreme but either our dreams don't need that much commitment or we are not in terrible hair on fire circumstance

Oh ok thanks!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 09, 2017, 08:42:07 AM
What I'm wondering is why you keep digging the debt hole.  You're clearly worried enough about it to post here, and you've gotten a lot of great advice, but it doesn't seem like you've gone after even the low-hanging fruit, like stopping the work lunches and eating out.  And now you've added couches to boot.  Why is that?  Is it that you can't say no because you don't want to disappoint people?  Is it that you really value your role as provider and don't want your coworkers or your wife to see you as less successful than you want to be?  Is it that you feel like you "deserve" it?  Is it just no impulse control or ability to delay gratification? 

I'm not sure what you mean?

I posted this on Saturday and haven't purchased a single thing since then.

I'm guessing she means when you got BACK into debt, after your parents bailed you out last time. Clearly there is some REASON you ended up getting back into debt. Until you can answer WHY you let yourself get back into debt, you won't have a clear picture of your own behaviors. Ex- if every time you lost 50 lbs, you immediately gained it back, you need to figure out what you are doing that caused you to gain it back. Make sense? Spend some time analyzing your own behaviors. WHY have you been spending more than you earn, and WHY did you go back into debt?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 09, 2017, 08:48:35 AM
I have one more suggestion - which I suspect you'll reject (and that's fine, I'm not the boss of you) but I'm going to throw it out there anyway.

You mentioned that your parents were willing to sit down and go through your budget with you and help you get control of your finances. You mentioned it as a condition of them giving you another basically year's salary. Don't take more money from them - because honestly, you are already f'ing them over spending their retirement savings on soda and tvs, when they could have easily invested it and earned 8% on it last year alone.

But ... take their advice without taking more of their money. That's someone familiar with your costs and needs who is willing to spend significant amount of time coaching you and helping you out of this mess. Don't let your ego get in the way of saving your family. If your concern is that it makes you feel like a child instead of an adult, well, you're already there - you are spending your parents' money like it's your allowance, instead of paying back what you borrowed. Ideally, they would have taught you budgeting and how to run a household when you were still living at home, but somehow that didn't happen. Let them teach you now.

And when you have some free time, you - and your wife - should read through this thread: http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/antimustachian-wall-of-shame-and-comedy/relatives-who-just-don't-get-it/

What you'll see there - in part - is the frustration and fear of people watching their parents or siblings live exactly as you are living, and the forum members here freaking out because now we are being set up to have to choose between letting our parents or brothers and sisters become homeless, or give up our own retirement plans to bail them out over and over again. Your parents are doing that for you now, but also I see that in 20 years, your children are going to be the people posting in that thread. You aren't just robbing your parents of their retirement; you're also actively robbing your children of their future.

That's the mindset you need to hold on to, every time you look at a new tv, or new speakers, or a trip to hawaii. It's not a choice between getting a new tv, or not getting one. It's a choice between getting a new tv, or allowing your children to have a secure future. Do you love fancy vacations and electronics and new couches more than you love your children? Print that question out and put in on your fridge, so it's in your face every day.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Poundwise on January 09, 2017, 08:51:15 AM
I sense you are beginning to feel a bit punchdrunk here.  Don't take it personally-- a lot of people here have been where you are now and they are impatient to help. Or they have dear relatives who, unlike you, won't even admit they have a spending problem.

Good work on not spending since Saturday!  Throw us a little sugar and just choose one thing to do today to cut down on a repeating cost... baby steps.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 08:56:15 AM
What I'm wondering is why you keep digging the debt hole.  You're clearly worried enough about it to post here, and you've gotten a lot of great advice, but it doesn't seem like you've gone after even the low-hanging fruit, like stopping the work lunches and eating out.  And now you've added couches to boot.  Why is that?  Is it that you can't say no because you don't want to disappoint people?  Is it that you really value your role as provider and don't want your coworkers or your wife to see you as less successful than you want to be?  Is it that you feel like you "deserve" it?  Is it just no impulse control or ability to delay gratification? 

I'm not sure what you mean?

I posted this on Saturday and haven't purchased a single thing since then.

I'm guessing she means when you got BACK into debt, after your parents bailed you out last time. Clearly there is some REASON you ended up getting back into debt. Until you can answer WHY you let yourself get back into debt, you won't have a clear picture of your own behaviors. Ex- if every time you lost 50 lbs, you immediately gained it back, you need to figure out what you are doing that caused you to gain it back. Make sense? Spend some time analyzing your own behaviors. WHY have you been spending more than you earn, and WHY did you go back into debt?

Oh!

Yes.

We racked it back up because we bought a new house.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 08:59:04 AM
I have one more suggestion - which I suspect you'll reject (and that's fine, I'm not the boss of you) but I'm going to throw it out there anyway.

You mentioned that your parents were willing to sit down and go through your budget with you and help you get control of your finances. You mentioned it as a condition of them giving you another basically year's salary. Don't take more money from them - because honestly, you are already f'ing them over spending their retirement savings on soda and tvs, when they could have easily invested it and earned 8% on it last year alone.

But ... take their advice without taking more of their money. That's someone familiar with your costs and needs who is willing to spend significant amount of time coaching you and helping you out of this mess. Don't let your ego get in the way of saving your family. If your concern is that it makes you feel like a child instead of an adult, well, you're already there - you are spending your parents' money like it's your allowance, instead of paying back what you borrowed. Ideally, they would have taught you budgeting and how to run a household when you were still living at home, but somehow that didn't happen. Let them teach you now.

And when you have some free time, you - and your wife - should read through this thread: http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/antimustachian-wall-of-shame-and-comedy/relatives-who-just-don't-get-it/

What you'll see there - in part - is the frustration and fear of people watching their parents or siblings live exactly as you are living, and the forum members here freaking out because now we are being set up to have to choose between letting our parents or brothers and sisters become homeless, or give up our own retirement plans to bail them out over and over again. Your parents are doing that for you now, but also I see that in 20 years, your children are going to be the people posting in that thread. You aren't just robbing your parents of their retirement; you're also actively robbing your children of their future.


I hear what you're saying.

The thing is, $40k wouldn't put my parents in a bad spot.

It's not even robbing them of their retirement.

More like getting an inheritance early.

Quote
That's the mindset you need to hold on to, every time you look at a new tv, or new speakers, or a trip to hawaii. It's not a choice between getting a new tv, or not getting one. It's a choice between getting a new tv, or allowing your children to have a secure future. Do you love fancy vacations and electronics and new couches more than you love your children? Print that question out and put in on your fridge, so it's in your face every day.

Agreed.

Just last night our freezer was full so we started looking online for an extra freezer to put in the garage.

Then I remembered and stopped.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 09, 2017, 09:04:56 AM
We racked it back up because we bought a new house.
No, not really.  You racked it up because you had to have everything in that house shiny and new and perfect, and so you bought moldings and new sofas when you could have made done with some paint and craigslist for furniture.

That's the mindset you have to change: you don't get to have these things until you have earned them - by which time you may appreciate that so much time/work/effort goes into the earning of them that they are not worth it.

You are in marketing, but on this one you have been played by the marketing messages that you are getting about what you need/deserve.  Well, you've got what you deserve, which is six figures in non-mortgage debt to pay off.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: notactiveanymore on January 09, 2017, 09:07:40 AM
You can totally do this. You can get debt-free and you can get back in control of your life. This is the way I would tackle things with your 3, 6, 12 month goal markers.

3-Month Goals:

6-Month Goals:

12-Month Goals:


NEW PLAN (these numbers reflect after the rental is sold)
TAKE-HOME Income without Rental: $3875
Monthyly cashflow to put towards debt with spending below: $605

Expenses:
 
GARBAGE           36   
CALE/INTERNET   114   
WATER                   50   
GEICO AUTO           135   
MASSAGE       70   If this is massage envy, you can cancel if you try hard enough. Talk to manager, explain situation.
AUTO LOAN           393   3591   6.54% Sell car ASAP, paying it off in 9 months means nothing because you have no money.
MORTGAGE           1761   164,717   5.125%
FUEL                   200   
GAS/ELECTRIC        150   
GROCERIES       1100 600   
EATING OUT       600 30
CAMERAS       25   
PARENTS                    0       30K   
CC1                            194       856   25.24%
CC2                            134       4495   24.49
CC3                            25       505   23.24%
CC4                            25       452   10.23%
CC5                            20       692   18.49%
CC6                            75       797   24.15
CC7                            100       2020   25.24
Furniture Loan            276       1950   25.00

TOTAL                     5472   46,405   
NEW TOTAL             3270        41,767

Assets:

Primary home – Owe $164,717, worth $175k
Rental – Owe $25k HELOC + $9k taxes, worth $70k to $80k Sell it ASAP
Car – Owe $4,500, worth $15k to $17k Car - $5000, paid in Cash after selling financed car
Cash - $850 $2000 funded by selling crap from around the house - you need an emergency fund
401k - $5,000

Liabilities:

Income tax - $40k 35k Paid off with sale of Rental, 5k paid off with sale of car
Property tax on rental - $9k Paid off with sale of rental
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: birdie55 on January 09, 2017, 09:13:32 AM
Good that you did not buy a new freezer.

Now do some meal planning on the contents of your freezer so you don't need to buy groceries, other than fresh fruits and vegetables for awhile. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 09, 2017, 09:13:54 AM
I have one more suggestion - which I suspect you'll reject (and that's fine, I'm not the boss of you) but I'm going to throw it out there anyway.

You mentioned that your parents were willing to sit down and go through your budget with you and help you get control of your finances. You mentioned it as a condition of them giving you another basically year's salary. Don't take more money from them - because honestly, you are already f'ing them over spending their retirement savings on soda and tvs, when they could have easily invested it and earned 8% on it last year alone.

But ... take their advice without taking more of their money. That's someone familiar with your costs and needs who is willing to spend significant amount of time coaching you and helping you out of this mess. Don't let your ego get in the way of saving your family. If your concern is that it makes you feel like a child instead of an adult, well, you're already there - you are spending your parents' money like it's your allowance, instead of paying back what you borrowed. Ideally, they would have taught you budgeting and how to run a household when you were still living at home, but somehow that didn't happen. Let them teach you now.

And when you have some free time, you - and your wife - should read through this thread: http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/antimustachian-wall-of-shame-and-comedy/relatives-who-just-don't-get-it/

What you'll see there - in part - is the frustration and fear of people watching their parents or siblings live exactly as you are living, and the forum members here freaking out because now we are being set up to have to choose between letting our parents or brothers and sisters become homeless, or give up our own retirement plans to bail them out over and over again. Your parents are doing that for you now, but also I see that in 20 years, your children are going to be the people posting in that thread. You aren't just robbing your parents of their retirement; you're also actively robbing your children of their future.


I hear what you're saying.

The thing is, $40k wouldn't put my parents in a bad spot.

It's not even robbing them of their retirement.

More like getting an inheritance early.

Quote
That's the mindset you need to hold on to, every time you look at a new tv, or new speakers, or a trip to hawaii. It's not a choice between getting a new tv, or not getting one. It's a choice between getting a new tv, or allowing your children to have a secure future. Do you love fancy vacations and electronics and new couches more than you love your children? Print that question out and put in on your fridge, so it's in your face every day.

Agreed.

Just last night our freezer was full so we started looking online for an extra freezer to put in the garage.

Then I remembered and stopped.

beatles, I'm going to come at these last two things.

1) Let's say your parents give you $40K now. You call it an "early inheritance". It's not. It would be a sacrifice on their part. That's $40K less that your parents would have to grow over the years until they are in old age and health care costs skyrocket. You would spend that money immediately, either on credit cards or to the IRS, and then you wouldn't have it to grow over the years either. So they would have reduced their ability to support themselves, and you would not be able to help them. Your parents may indeed need that $40K, and the growth it will earn over the years. My dad blew through $1,000,000 paying for private home care in the last decade of his life - that's $100K PER YEAR. Your parents are worried about you, and like most parents, they want what is best for you. Please take all their love and concern and advice, and please DO NOT take their money.

2) Great job not buying a freezer! Do you know what most people do when their freezer is full? They eat out of it. We call it "freezer diving" where I live - we make meals out of little tubs of leftover chili, that pack of spanokopita, and a bag of berries from last summer. Sunday supper, for the win!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 09:17:16 AM
We racked it back up because we bought a new house.
No, not really.  You racked it up because you had to have everything in that house shiny and new and perfect, and so you bought moldings and new sofas when you could have made done with some paint and craigslist for furniture.

That's the mindset you have to change: you don't get to have these things until you have earned them - by which time you may appreciate that so much time/work/effort goes into the earning of them that they are not worth it.

You are in marketing, but on this one you have been played by the marketing messages that you are getting about what you need/deserve.  Well, you've got what you deserve, which is six figures in non-mortgage debt to pay off.

All true.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 09, 2017, 09:19:22 AM
Beatles, apologies, I misunderstood -- read the original posts, then saw the addition of the couch debt and thought you had just gone out and bought them.  Which seemed to be a pattern given the earlier parental payoff.

But I still think it makes sense to figure out what is driving your choices -- why does your brain tell you it is ok to spend more than what you make?  You need to change that mindset if you want any of this to stick long-term.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: charis on January 09, 2017, 09:20:27 AM
We actually bought a reasonably-priced chest freezer for our basement and that has helped with lower our food costs BECAUSE we buy giant quantities of cheap staples with very low unit prices.  Which means we buy family-pack sizes of generic staples and DIVIDE them up into freezer packs and put them in the chest freezer. 

We buy shredded cheese, actually, the biggest bag they sell, and divide it up into ziploc bags at home.  Same with huge pack of sliced cheese, largest size of frozen veggies, chicken nuggets, burrito shells, pizza dough, etc and we buy 4-5 loafs of 100 whole wheat bread.   Family packs of pasta, pasta sauce, apples, greek yogurt and eggs are also a very good deal.

We are a family of 4 (3 and 6 year old) and we don't buy any single servings pouches of anything or any candy.  Apples, baby carrots, veggie straws in ziploc bags with reusable bottles of water or milk do the trick for on the go snacking.  The closest thing I get a a bulk box of fig bars for the rare, desperate moments in the car where we are close to eating out.   

My children have been conditioned to know that they can have practically unlimited servings of apples or carrots, but no gimmicky "snack" stuff unless we are on vacation.  Breakfast is non-sugar cereals, eggs, toast, or waffles (make big batch on Sunday and leftovers to kids Mon morning).

We shop at Aldi and Wegmans, because many bulk items that are cheaper at Wegs.  Maybe TJs once a month to grab the 3-4 (cheap) items that I prefer from there. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 09:27:32 AM
2) Great job not buying a freezer! Do you know what most people do when their freezer is full? They eat out of it. We call it "freezer diving" where I live - we make meals out of little tubs of leftover chili, that pack of spanokopita, and a bag of berries from last summer. Sunday supper, for the win!

Thank you! And good advice.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 09:29:32 AM
We actually bought a reasonably-priced chest freezer for our basement and that has helped with lower our food costs BECAUSE we buy giant quantities of cheap staples with very low unit prices.  Which means we buy family-pack sizes of generic staples and DIVIDE them up into freezer packs and put them in the chest freezer. 

We buy shredded cheese, actually, the biggest bag they sell, and divide it up into ziploc bags at home.  Same with huge pack of sliced cheese, largest size of frozen veggies, chicken nuggets, burrito shells, pizza dough, etc and we buy 4-5 loafs of 100 whole wheat bread.   Family packs of pasta, pasta sauce, apples, greek yogurt and eggs are also a very good deal.

We are a family of 4 (3 and 6 year old) and we don't buy any single servings pouches of anything or any candy.  Apples, baby carrots, veggie straws in ziploc bags with reusable bottles of water or milk do the trick for on the go snacking.  The closest thing I get a a bulk box of fig bars for the rare, desperate moments in the car where we are close to eating out.   

My children have been conditioned to know that they can have practically unlimited servings of apples or carrots, but no gimmicky "snack" stuff unless we are on vacation.  Breakfast is non-sugar cereals, eggs, toast, or waffles (make big batch on Sunday and leftovers to kids Mon morning).

We shop at Aldi and Wegmans, because many bulk items that are cheaper at Wegs.  Maybe TJs once a month to grab the 3-4 (cheap) items that I prefer from there.

I can't believe the amount of Wegmans shoppers here.

You in NY as well?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ShoulderThingThatGoesUp on January 09, 2017, 09:30:58 AM
I shop at Wegman's with my three-year-old and you won't find any individually packaged crap in my cart.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 09, 2017, 09:34:21 AM
Blogs recommendation: Northwest Edible Life's money category:
http://www.nwedible.com/topics/productive-home/frugality-finance/ (http://www.nwedible.com/topics/productive-home/frugality-finance/)

IF YOU ONLY READ ONE THING:http://www.nwedible.com/mini-money-challenge-occupy-your-brainwhat-you-want-isnt-really-what-you-want/ (http://www.nwedible.com/mini-money-challenge-occupy-your-brainwhat-you-want-isnt-really-what-you-want/)

Print out the blank worksheet: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/35224895/NWEdible_What_I_Really_Want_From_My_Purchases_Chart.pdf (https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/35224895/NWEdible_What_I_Really_Want_From_My_Purchases_Chart.pdf)

DO THIS FOR EVERY SINGLE PURCHASE. HAVE YOUR WIFE DO THIS FOR EVERY PURCHASE.

Those "diet" full of sugar, fake snack foods? Why do you want them? What is the purpose those are meeting? What are the FEELINGS you think it will address...what do you REALLY want?

Same with the TV, same with the extra freezer...everything. You have to start thinking critically and thinking deeper. Print out multiple copies of this worksheet. Share your thought process if it helps. This is something you can do RIGHT NOW that will make a BIG difference.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 09, 2017, 09:37:03 AM
I'm a Wegmans shopper/acolyte too! To the point where I've about decided I don't want to retire somewhere that doesn't have a Wegmans!

But I do spend more at Wegmans than I would at our local ShopRite and Giant. Wegmans is brilliant at combining super cheap staples like pasta, sauce, family size chicken and hamburger with expensive cheeses, prepared foods, and tempting baked goods. Their cookie display? That shit is $12 a pound!

And because they put the produce in the middle of the store, the "keep to the outside aisles" advice doesn't really work at Wegmans. They also put the expensive stuff right next to the produce - the cheeses, deli offerings, and baked goods. To get to eggs, OJ, and milk, you have to walk past basically the entire store.

What would you think about only shopping at Aldi for the rest of January? That's not even three more weeks now. Just try it. Give Wegmans a rest and see what new worlds Aldi opens up for you.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 09:37:53 AM
You can totally do this. You can get debt-free and you can get back in control of your life. This is the way I would tackle things with your 3, 6, 12 month goal markers.

3-Month Goals:
  • Put rental house on the market. You can give a roof credit at closing instead of worrying about that now.
  • Sell car and buy something for under $5000
  • Sit down with your wife and make a budget. In this situation, I think you two going to Financial Peace University from Dave Ramsey would be absolutely a good idea. It will put all your cards on the table and help you two create a reasonable spending plan. This plan doesn't work without you two being a united front and deciding that you don't want to live on the edge anymore.
  • Cut up all you credit cards except for maybe (MAYBE) one card. Do not put any more purchases on credit card. Pay for everything on debit or cash. I'd even consider getting your grocery money in cash and once it's gone, it's gone.
  • Cut out all eating out. I left you $30/month for the very rare unplanned need to go through the drive through with the kids. But no restaurants.
  • Cut the massage and the cameras. Get your Groceries below $600
  • Go through your house and sell enough things to get your emergency fund of cash up to $2000

6-Month Goals:
  • Sell the rental house and pay off the property taxes and the IRS
  • Use your $605 cashflow to pay off the credit cards. I'd probably do a mixture of snowball/avalanche: CC1, CC3, CC6, CC5, CC4, Furniture Loan, CC7, CC2. Each time you pay off a new card, take the payment from that paid off card and roll it forward to pay off the next one more quickly. Within 6 months you should have it whittled down to just the Furniture Loan, CC7 and CC2 and you would have about $900/month at that point to keep throwing at the cards.

12-Month Goals:
  • By February 1, 2018, you could be down to only the 30k debt owed to your parents and about $1500/month in cashflow.
  • Talk to your parents about a payment plan for the 30k. If they really are not looking to give you interest, then I'd tell them your plan now about when you will be able to start paying them back and at what pace. If it were me, I'd see about doing $1000/month to parents and put $500/month in savings until you get a decent 3 month emergency fund, maybe $10k. Then I'd put all $1500 toward the loan with the parents until its gone.
  • Start planning for how you will save after you're debt-free. Maybe allow yourself some small rewards once you pay off all except the parent's loan and then once you are totally debt free. My husband and I did a steak dinner at the fancy restaurant in town after we got debt-free and it was the best steak I've ever had.
  • Don't let up! Keep optimizing your budget, looking for things to sell or extra jobs you can pick up (dog sitting or your wife watching a kid every once in awhile). Keep talking about where you want to be in 10 years and what you want retirement to look like. Don't let your spending creep up.


NEW PLAN (these numbers reflect after the rental is sold)
TAKE-HOME Income without Rental: $3875
Monthyly cashflow to put towards debt with spending below: $605

Expenses:
 
GARBAGE           36   
CALE/INTERNET   114   
WATER                   50   
GEICO AUTO           135   
MASSAGE       70   If this is massage envy, you can cancel if you try hard enough. Talk to manager, explain situation.
AUTO LOAN           393   3591   6.54% Sell car ASAP, paying it off in 9 months means nothing because you have no money.
MORTGAGE           1761   164,717   5.125%
FUEL                   200   
GAS/ELECTRIC        150   
GROCERIES       1100 600   
EATING OUT       600 30
CAMERAS       25   
PARENTS                    0       30K   
CC1                            194       856   25.24%
CC2                            134       4495   24.49
CC3                            25       505   23.24%
CC4                            25       452   10.23%
CC5                            20       692   18.49%
CC6                            75       797   24.15
CC7                            100       2020   25.24
Furniture Loan            276       1950   25.00

TOTAL                     5472   46,405   
NEW TOTAL             3270        41,767

Assets:

Primary home – Owe $164,717, worth $175k
Rental – Owe $25k HELOC + $9k taxes, worth $70k to $80k Sell it ASAP
Car – Owe $4,500, worth $15k to $17k Car - $5000, paid in Cash after selling financed car
Cash - $850 $2000 funded by selling crap from around the house - you need an emergency fund
401k - $5,000

Liabilities:

Income tax - $40k 35k Paid off with sale of Rental, 5k paid off with sale of car
Property tax on rental - $9k Paid off with sale of rental

This is awesome.

Thank you for this.

I agree with all of it ... Except for selling the car.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: mrssavesalot on January 09, 2017, 09:42:01 AM
ok....I'm actually new here (but not new to 'stacheing). I've followed this post long enough.

I hate to say this...but here is what you need to do.

1. Sell EVERYTHING luxury in your house. That huge tv. Those couches. Any video game systems. Everything goes except for your beds, cooking supplies, work-related equipment, some toys for the kids, and a few basics for working out.

2. Sell one of your properties

3. The first debt you need to pay is the IRS. If you don't work on that, they WILL make you sell everything. They will even garnish your paycheck. Trust me, you don't want that happening.

4. WTF are you eating organics? What are you thinking? SERIOUSLY.

5. Why are you eating skinny cow, and other "diet" luxuries. Hell, you shouldn't be eating any sweets at all. NONE. Zip, zilch, zero.

6. I sure hope you aren't spending any money on entertainment. From now on, the library, free parks, free cultural events are your entertainment. Kids are bored you say? Get off your butt, and go play catch or make a snowman with them.

7. Where in New York, are you living? You might be able to sell all vehicles, and take public transit instead.

8. Massage????? Really???? Get your wife to give you one. For reals.

9. You BOTH need to learn new ways of doing things- STAT.

10. One way to keep food costs down is to start a garden. Got a big backyard? Use it. PS....get your gardening tools on craigslist

11. Please for the love of god, don't add any more kids or pets to the mix. You can't afford that.

From now on....you ONLY buy things with cash. Credit cards are obviously a crutch for you.

You've got a lot of work to do. Get started on it.

8.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 09, 2017, 09:51:13 AM
I shop at Wegman's with my three-year-old and you won't find any individually packaged crap in my cart.

I hear you, Shoulder . . . Can you shop well/frugally at Wegmans?  Yes, for sure.  I've done it, with kids.  However I have years of practice at frugal grocery shopping and knowledge about what is a good price on the items we buy.  For a beginner frugal grocery shopper I would recommend staying away from Wegmans until your frugal shopping muscles are big and strong.  It is just too loaded with temptations.  Plus -- humans are creatures of habit.  I think it may be easier for the Beatles family to create a new healthy grocery shopping pattern if they start "fresh" by shopping at Aldi for a while.  Aldi will help create a new frame of reference for how much a grocery bill should be.  Just my two cents.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: charis on January 09, 2017, 09:52:25 AM
I'm a Wegmans shopper/acolyte too! To the point where I've about decided I don't want to retire somewhere that doesn't have a Wegmans!

But I do spend more at Wegmans than I would at our local ShopRite and Giant. Wegmans is brilliant at combining super cheap staples like pasta, sauce, family size chicken and hamburger with expensive cheeses, prepared foods, and tempting baked goods. Their cookie display? That shit is $12 a pound!

And because they put the produce in the middle of the store, the "keep to the outside aisles" advice doesn't really work at Wegmans. They also put the expensive stuff right next to the produce - the cheeses, deli offerings, and baked goods. To get to eggs, OJ, and milk, you have to walk past basically the entire store.

What would you think about only shopping at Aldi for the rest of January? That's not even three more weeks now. Just try it. Give Wegmans a rest and see what new worlds Aldi opens up for you.

Walk in door, go straight into produce and pick of large packs of apples, baby carrots, green peppers, onions, bunch of bananas and whatever basic fresh veg you need.  Keep going to back wall of store for meat (whole chicken and pork shoulder for crockpot) and grab family packs of bread on the way by.  Follow along wall for bulk dairy and frozen veg.  Go along front and hit only necessary aisles (pasta, cereal, beans).  Bring a list, do NOT browse, avoid all specialty sections. Done. 

I agree that you need a strong frugal muscle before you can be this disciplined.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 10:11:57 AM
ok....I'm actually new here (but not new to 'stacheing). I've followed this post long enough.

I hate to say this...but here is what you need to do.

1. Sell EVERYTHING luxury in your house. That huge tv. Those couches. Any video game systems. Everything goes except for your beds, cooking supplies, work-related equipment, some toys for the kids, and a few basics for working out.

Won't work, unfortunately.

We wouldn't be able to sell them for much. Definitely not even close to what we bought them for. And they're still financed.

Quote
2. Sell one of your properties

Agreed.

Just need to get a roof on it.

Quote
4. WTF are you eating organics? What are you thinking? SERIOUSLY.

I dont think we eat any organics?

Quote
6. I sure hope you aren't spending any money on entertainment. From now on, the library, free parks, free cultural events are your entertainment. Kids are bored you say? Get off your butt, and go play catch or make a snowman with them.

This is actually part of the reason why my wife says  it's hard to keep our grocery budget down.

She doesn't let them sit in front of the TV, they're always out doing things which creates 2 problems.

1) She packs snacks, but they run out and then are hungry.

2) She's gone all day doing activities with them, which gives no time (and energy) for making food.

Quote
7. Where in New York, are you living? You might be able to sell all vehicles, and take public transit instead.

We live in a suburb. Closest bus station is 3 miles away. We don't have Uber here. Work is 20 miles away.

Quote
8. Massage????? Really???? Get your wife to give you one. For reals.

Agreed.


Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 10:18:36 AM
My Wife and I really enjoyed reading everyone who broke down our receipt and showed us where to save..

But she was a little annoyed that I posted a receipt that was a few months old (oops!), as she feels she has gotten better recently.

So would anyone be willing to critique our latest receipt (I double checked I had the right now this time)?

QTY
Product
Size
Department
Extended Price
ADD ALL TO LIST

Generic Food You Feel Good About Shells, Jumbo
2 OZ
Grocery Food
.99


Bananas
LB
Produce
.78


Dannon Danimals Smoothie, Value Pack
37 FO
Dairy
4.79


Generic Wet Sweeper Cloths, Citrus Fresh Scent
24 CT
Household Essentials
6.99

SHOPPERS CLUB SAVINGS-0.50

Generic Italian Classics Cheese Tortellini
20 OZ
Dairy
6.49


Generic Shredded Whole Milk Mozzarella Cheese
8 OZ
Dairy
2.49




Sprite Soda, Lemon-Lime
0 FO
Beverages
3.49


Generic Large Apple Crumb Pie
43 OZ
Bakery
3.00


REESE'S Shell Topping, Chocolate & Peanut Butter
7 OZ
Frozen Foods
2.49


Generic In-Store Baked Bagels
EA
Bakery
3.56


Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Baked Graham Snacks, Vanilla Cupcake
7 OZ
Grocery Food
.99


Breyers Indulgences Gelato, Raspberry Cheesecake
28 FO
Frozen Foods
4.69


Weg Sandwich Bag Z
00 CT
Household Essentials
2.99

Smuckers Marmalade, Sweet Orange
8 OZ
Grocery Food
2.99


Generic Assorted In Store Baked Muffins, 4 Pack
8 OZ
Bakery
9.00


Coca-Cola Cola
0 FO
Beverages
3.49


Stewart's Fountain Classics Soda, Cream
48 FO
Beverages
3.99


Generic Food You Feel Good About Mixed Peppers, FAMILY PACK
2 LB
Produce
5.49


Jif Peanut Butter, Creamy
40 OZ
Grocery Food
5.99


Quaker Popped Rice Crisps, Apple Cinnamon
7 OZ
Grocery Food
2.99


Generic Food You Feel Good About Unsweetened Apple Sauce Pouches, FAMILY PACK
77 OZ
Grocery Food
8.99


Juicy Juice Apple 00% Juice
54 FO
Beverages
2.99


Generic Italian Classics Alfredo Sauce
5 OZ
Grocery Food
3.98


Generic Shredded Colby Jack Cheese
8 OZ
Dairy
2.49


Generic Facial Tissues, 3 Ply, Our Softest
75 CT
Household Essentials
0.00


Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner, Original Flavor, 5 Pack
36 OZ
Grocery Food
4.79


Generic Food You Feel Good About Parmesan Romano Sauce, FAMILY PACK
72 OZ
Grocery Food
2.69


Generic Food You Feel Good About Distilled Water
28 FO
Beverages
0.99


Gummi Peach
LB
Bulk Foods
.58


Saranac Hand-Crafted Soft Drinks, Premium Orange Cream
72 FO
Beverages
5.49


Generic Fancy Shredded Parmesan & Romano Cheese
6 OZ
Dairy
2.49


Popsicle Ice Pops, Slow Melt, Mighty Minis, Assorted, 20 Pack
0 FO
Frozen Foods
3.99


Generic Food You Feel Good About Cheese Whole Milk Ricotta
32 OZ
Dairy
3.99


Generic Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies
LB
Bakery
5.88


Generic Food You Feel Good About Steamables Jasmine White Rice
0 OZ
Frozen Foods
.9


Generic Food You Feel Good About Long Grain Brown Rice
0 OZ
Frozen Foods
.9


Chex Mix Snack Mix, Bold Party Blend
9 OZ
Grocery Food
.99


Mayfair Jellies Orange Slices
LB
Bulk Foods
2.0


Uncle Ben's Whole Grain Medley Pouch, Ready, Brown & Wild
8 OZ
Grocery Food
.99


Dried Cherries
LB
Bulk Foods
4.29


Dole 00% Juice, Pineapple Orange Banana
59 FO
Dairy
3.9


Generic Cheese Tortellini Pasta
6 OZ
Frozen Foods
2.99


Fairlife Milk, Ultra-Filtered, Reduced Fat, Chocolate, 2%
52 FO
Dairy
3.99


Generic Tissues, 3-Ply, FAMILY PACK
750 CT
Household Essentials
8.99


Energizer Batteries, Lithium, 2032
4 EA
Household Essentials
5.99


Generic Food You Feel Good About Macaroni & Cheese
0 OZ
Frozen Foods
20.93

SHOPPERS CLUB SAVINGS-3.50
•   SHOPPERS CLUB SAVINGS 4.00
•   TOTAL SAVINGS 4.00
•   BOTTLE DEPOSIT .0
•   TAX 3.98
•   TOTAL 200.84
•   BOTTLE RETURN 0.00
•   COINSTAR 0.00
•   *****457 Credit Card 200.84

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 09, 2017, 10:22:39 AM
Beatles- how about you give this one a try? We explained the "why" on the last one quite thoroughly. So how about you have a turn, and we'll give feedback on that? You know, "see one, do one, teach one" as the best way to learn.

What can you eliminate? What can you substitute? You can use this to help you: http://flyer.wegmans.com/Default.aspx (http://flyer.wegmans.com/Default.aspx)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 10:28:49 AM
Beatles- how about you give this one a try? We explained the "why" on the last one quite thoroughly. So how about you have a turn, and we'll give feedback on that? You know, "see one, do one, teach one" as the best way to learn.

What can you eliminate? What can you substitute? You can use this to help you: http://flyer.wegmans.com/Default.aspx (http://flyer.wegmans.com/Default.aspx)

I dont do shopping - ever - so I dont really know whats a good deal and whats not.

But i'll see if my wife is willing to hop on at some point.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 09, 2017, 10:32:33 AM

Quote
6. I sure hope you aren't spending any money on entertainment. From now on, the library, free parks, free cultural events are your entertainment. Kids are bored you say? Get off your butt, and go play catch or make a snowman with them.

This is actually part of the reason why my wife says  it's hard to keep our grocery budget down.

She doesn't let them sit in front of the TV, they're always out doing things which creates 2 problems.
1) She packs snacks, but they run out and then are hungry.
2) She's gone all day doing activities with them, which gives no time (and energy) for making food.

OK, you are in a suburb.  That implies a yard?  So they play in the back yard.  Most suburban houses have a window to the back yard in the kitchen so whoever is doing kitchen stuff (i.e. meal prep) can keep an eye on the kids.  Nothing new, that is what my Mom did in the 50's.

Right now you are in "eat the freezer down" mode - from the list you posted, there are probably lots of fast prep meals in it.  Rice or potatoes or quinoa cook while she does meat prep, 4 year old sets table, 2 year old does 2 year old things.

Snacks run out? She learns to pack larger snacks.  Or they have good appetites for lunch/dinner.  She doesn't stop someplace and buy them more snacks. She can tell them "No, we will eat something when we get home".  And that something will be nourishing and inexpensive.  Preferably a meal, not a snack.

They take naps?  She does meal prep during their naps.  Or younger naps, older "helps". Or she puts a meal in a crock pot and they they go out for the day, dinner is ready when she gets home.

Is your wife with you on this?  Because those all sound like excuses from her, and you (plural you, "vous" not "tu") will not dig out from under if she doesn't change her ways.  Just like you need to change your ways, but at least you are here reading all this well-meant advice.

I don't think you should sell your expensive toys simply because you would get 5-10% of what you paid.  Personally I would never buy new furniture with little kids (or a puppy/kitten), since it will have heavy use.  My DD thought our living room couch was her indoor trampoline.  But you have it, I hope you like it and bought solid stuff because it will have to last a good long time.  And get the loans paid off ASAP.  And nothing else comes in the house.  Seriously, anything you might want to buy now is really a want not a need.

I just saw you posted a more up-to-date shopping list, I'll let someone else analyze it since I am not familiar with the brands on your lists.  But unit price is immensely useful, which is why stores hate doing it.  Phones have calculators now so no excuses for not calculating unit price.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: scantee on January 09, 2017, 10:40:52 AM
There is still a TON  from this most recent shopping trip that should be very easy and painless to cut. You spent almost $21 on frozen mac and cheese, the quintessential cheap food. 21 DOLLARS ON FROZEN MAC AND CHEESE. Also, $9 on premade muffins and 9$ on applesauce packets. That is $40, right there, that you can easily cut out and replace with maybe $5 worth of ingredients. With just a little planning, you could get your $200 grocery bill down to $100-120. You are doing great, you should be able to save at least $350 on your monthly grocery bill without feeling too much of a pinch if you just cut out the very expensive packaged food you and your wife are buying.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 09, 2017, 10:44:39 AM
Beatles- how about you give this one a try? We explained the "why" on the last one quite thoroughly. So how about you have a turn, and we'll give feedback on that? You know, "see one, do one, teach one" as the best way to learn.

What can you eliminate? What can you substitute? You can use this to help you: http://flyer.wegmans.com/Default.aspx (http://flyer.wegmans.com/Default.aspx)

I dont do shopping - ever - so I dont really know whats a good deal and whats not.

But i'll see if my wife is willing to hop on at some point.

I love the idea of you and your wife sitting down and critiquing this together. Drag items from the list into 3 categories - keepers, things that should be swapped for cheaper options, and junk you shouldn't buy.

For pricing, a good general rule for me is $1 a pound, except $3 for fancy cheeses and $2/lb for coffee.

But in your area, at Wegmans, maybe go up to $2 for meat and produce, $4 for cheese, $1/lb for starches/grains.  So everything on your list - if it's above those price points, find a cheaper alternative. I think it would also be eye opening to color code it with green as actual basic foods, and red as food where you paid for someone else to prepare it (premade frozen pasta dishes instead of a box of dry pasta, premade cookies, etc).
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyMuMu on January 09, 2017, 10:50:43 AM
I second the suggestion that you and your wife analyze your own second grocery receipt. You may not know what a good price is but you certainly know what is junk food and what isn't. Add up the junk food, add up the non-scratch prepared food, etc. Then we can help you from there. You've gotten a lot of information. Now it's time for you to DO THE WORK of turning your financial life around.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: YoungGranny on January 09, 2017, 10:54:56 AM
I noticed on your most recent shopping bill that $16.46 was spent on soda alone.... that's over 8% of your grocery bill on 100% empty calories. Coupled with quite a bit of other junk food on that list I think there's still quite a bit of room for improvement.

Instead of buying all the junk food why not try baking cookies, peanut butter bars, no-bake cookies etc at home. It is much cheaper and provides a fun activity for kids to help with. It also makes you healthier since you treat them as treats instead of shopping trip staples. Preparing more food in general will save a bunch of money, learn new skills and becomes second nature eventually. Homemade apple sauce for example is surprisingly easy and tastes oh so much better!

Good luck on your journey!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 09, 2017, 10:57:36 AM
One good reason for you both to do this together is that it takes away her ability to use your food habits as an excuse. "I bought the soda because my husband always drinks it" disappears when you say out loud "let's both drink water instead of soda, it's healthier and I'd rather save the money."
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 09, 2017, 11:01:30 AM
Here's some tough love:

You guys eat a TON of non-nutritious food. AKA garbage. You need to stop. It ruins your body and it ruins your finances. And you will teach your children to be OBESE and likely diabetic.

You asked for a 3 month goal.

In the next 3 months, wean yourself from the inside aisles at the grocery store. No more crackers, cookies, ice cream, and SODA. NONE. Chocolate milk is GARBAGE. Stop buying it. Your cart should be 3/4ths full with fruit, veggies, and a little meat and dairy. Only go on the inside aisles to buy beans, canned veggies, and pasta and frozen vegetables.

You need to wean yourself, your wife, and your kids off the sugar roller coaster. Snacks for my daughter include: fruit, cherry tomatoes, baby carrots, cheese sticks. We do have the applesauce pouches for the car. PLAN AHEAD. Bring food and plan accordingly. It's not that hard, kids are ALWAYS hungry. Always bring sensible snacks.

Your new grocery list is below. Almost EVERY ITEM has sugar in it. Where is the salad and greens? Where are the veg? It looks like you bought bananas and peppers and that's it. That's not going to be healthy for anyone.

You will feel so much better and healthier after you cut out the sugar crap you've been eating. And your children will be healthier and behave better.

_____________________________________

Generic Food You Feel Good About Shells, Jumbo
2 OZ
Grocery Food
.99
Is this pasta? If so, ok.

Bananas
LB
Produce
.78
buy more, this wasn't enough

Dannon Danimals Smoothie, Value Pack
37 FO
Dairy
4.79
garbage and sugar mixed together

Generic Wet Sweeper Cloths, Citrus Fresh Scent
24 CT
Household Essentials
6.99
no use vinegar and a washcloth or rag
SHOPPERS CLUB SAVINGS-0.50

Generic Italian Classics Cheese Tortellini
20 OZ
Dairy
6.49
ehhhhhh

Generic Shredded Whole Milk Mozzarella Cheese
8 OZ
Dairy
2.49
you should buy big lumps of cheese and shred it yourself


Sprite Soda, Lemon-Lime
0 FO
Beverages
3.49
NO

Generic Large Apple Crumb Pie
43 OZ
Bakery
3.00
NO


REESE'S Shell Topping, Chocolate & Peanut Butter
7 OZ
Frozen Foods
2.49
NO


Generic In-Store Baked Bagels
EA
Bakery
3.56
NO


Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Baked Graham Snacks, Vanilla Cupcake
7 OZ
Grocery Food
.99
NO


Breyers Indulgences Gelato, Raspberry Cheesecake
28 FO
Frozen Foods
4.69
NO


Weg Sandwich Bag Z
00 CT
Household Essentials
2.99
ok

Smuckers Marmalade, Sweet Orange
8 OZ
Grocery Food
2.99
NO


Generic Assorted In Store Baked Muffins, 4 Pack
8 OZ
Bakery
9.00
NO


Coca-Cola Cola
0 FO
Beverages
3.49
NO


Stewart's Fountain Classics Soda, Cream
48 FO
Beverages
3.99
NO


Generic Food You Feel Good About Mixed Peppers, FAMILY PACK
2 LB
Produce
5.49
Buy 2 next time these make great snacks

Jif Peanut Butter, Creamy
40 OZ
Grocery Food
5.99
No, get a low sugar brand

Quaker Popped Rice Crisps, Apple Cinnamon
7 OZ
Grocery Food
2.99
NO


Generic Food You Feel Good About Unsweetened Apple Sauce Pouches, FAMILY PACK
77 OZ
Grocery Food
8.99
ok

Juicy Juice Apple 00% Juice
54 FO
Beverages
2.99
NO


Generic Italian Classics Alfredo Sauce
5 OZ
Grocery Food
3.98
NO


Generic Shredded Colby Jack Cheese
8 OZ
Dairy
2.49
again, get your own cheese and shred

Generic Facial Tissues, 3 Ply, Our Softest
75 CT
Household Essentials
0.00
ok

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner, Original Flavor, 5 Pack
36 OZ
Grocery Food
4.79
NO


Generic Food You Feel Good About Parmesan Romano Sauce, FAMILY PACK
72 OZ
Grocery Food
2.69
NO


Generic Food You Feel Good About Distilled Water
28 FO
Beverages
0.99
NO


Gummi Peach
LB
Bulk Foods
.58
NO


Saranac Hand-Crafted Soft Drinks, Premium Orange Cream
72 FO
Beverages
5.49
NO


Generic Fancy Shredded Parmesan & Romano Cheese
6 OZ
Dairy
2.49
same comment

Popsicle Ice Pops, Slow Melt, Mighty Minis, Assorted, 20 Pack
0 FO
Frozen Foods
3.99
NO


Generic Food You Feel Good About Cheese Whole Milk Ricotta
32 OZ
Dairy
3.99
good

Generic Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies
LB
Bakery
5.88
NO


Generic Food You Feel Good About Steamables Jasmine White Rice
0 OZ
Frozen Foods
.9
NO buy rice in bulk and make it yourself


Generic Food You Feel Good About Long Grain Brown Rice
0 OZ
Frozen Foods
.9
NO buy rice in bulk and make it yourself

Chex Mix Snack Mix, Bold Party Blend
9 OZ
Grocery Food
.99
NO


Mayfair Jellies Orange Slices
LB
Bulk Foods
2.0
NO


Uncle Ben's Whole Grain Medley Pouch, Ready, Brown & Wild
8 OZ
Grocery Food
.99
NO buy rice in bulk and make it yourself

Dried Cherries
LB
Bulk Foods
4.29
This is too expensive and luxurious for your budget. Try raisins if you need something sweet

Dole 00% Juice, Pineapple Orange Banana
59 FO
Dairy
3.9
NO

Generic Cheese Tortellini Pasta
6 OZ
Frozen Foods
2.99
ehhhh

Fairlife Milk, Ultra-Filtered, Reduced Fat, Chocolate, 2%
52 FO
Dairy
3.99
NO

Generic Tissues, 3-Ply, FAMILY PACK
750 CT
Household Essentials
8.99


Energizer Batteries, Lithium, 2032
4 EA
Household Essentials
5.99


Generic Food You Feel Good About Macaroni & Cheese
0 OZ
Frozen Foods
20.93
GOOD GRIEF NO
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 09, 2017, 11:02:30 AM
We racked it back up because we bought a new house.
No, not really.  You racked it up because you had to have everything in that house shiny and new and perfect, and so you bought moldings and new sofas when you could have made done with some paint and craigslist for furniture.


Beatles, here's some perspective for you.  The only debt we have is a 30k mortgage (0% interest loan from grandma which we are paying back monthly).  Even still, we don't own a couch because we don't have the money!  Or we do have the money, but we are choosing to spend that money on our investments, not our current comfort. 

I'm posting a picture of our "family room".  It's in quotes, because we (a family of SIX) don't even have a living room.  We have a kitchen and a bedroom.  In our kitchen is a hard-bench picnic table.  It serves as our table and also as our "couch" in the evenings when we watch tv. 

If you look carefully up on the shelf to the left is our TV, the SMALLEST (and cheapest) one they had at the store.  We use it with a chromecast ($30 bucks) to watch Netflix ($10/month).  We have no other cable other than that. 

We sit on our picnic table bench, lean back against the wall, and put our feet up on the bench.  What luxury!  But hey, learning to be a frugal god feels better than drowning in debt.  Learning to MAKE DO feels good, like the way you feel after a hard workout.

And, when our butts get tired from being on the hard bench at night, then guess what, that means it's time to stop watching TV (waste of time anyway) and GO TO BED, not look into buying a couch.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: notactiveanymore on January 09, 2017, 11:05:32 AM
RED= things you're drinking. you spent $33.12 on drinks on this trip. Your kids probably need some milk, MAYBE a second drink for them. you and your wife need to drink water. you do not have any money.

PURPLE = desserts. you spent $32.04 on desserts on this trip. I would cut this down almost entirely. Maybe if you must you could just get popsicles every once in awhile.

GREEN = this is a convenience item that you need to cut down. tortellini in the fridge section is crazy expensive, do spaghetti instead. don't use cleaning wipes, use generic cleaning spray and rags or cheap paper towels. Buy a bag of rice for $2 and it will last you weeks.

Listen, the tough talk here is that your wife's job is being a stay at home mom and homemaker. If she wants to keep that job, she needs to stop spending 25% of the takehome income on muffins and juice. It's a hard hard job, but it's a vital job in your family and she can turn things around so fast by taking on this job with passion. You probably need to help more with that. When you're not at work, you should be able to do about half of the work on food/child-rearing. Let her go to the store without the kids on Saturday morning while you spend some good dad time with them. Help out by prepping your lunches on Sunday evening for the work week. Do the dishes after dinner, help with cooking, or keep the kiddos entertained while she is cooking. Find crockpot recipes to try out so that she doesn't have to focus a ton on prep time. Let go of your soda addiction.

When we were paying off debt, we limited ourselves to $340/month for groceries and cleaning and paper products for two adults. It was super hard the first 3-4 months. On the last shopping trip of the month, we had to keep a running total to make sure we didn't go over and sometimes we had to put things back and cut out meat from one of the meals. Now, even though we're debt free, we still only spend $340 and it's easy to stay in budget. Over the last year we've been able to focus on making our meals far more healthy while staying in that budget. Now, we're experts on when things on sale and we should stock up and we're really good at planning for in-season vegetables. Step one is setting a limit that you won't let yourselves move.



Generic Food You Feel Good About Shells, Jumbo 2 OZ
.99

Bananas LB
.78

Dannon Danimals Smoothie, Value Pack 37 FO
4.79

Generic Wet Sweeper Cloths, Citrus Fresh Scent 24 CT
6.99 SAVINGS-0.50

Generic Italian Classics Cheese Tortellini 20 OZ
6.49

Generic Shredded Whole Milk Mozzarella Cheese 8 OZ
2.49

Sprite Soda, Lemon-Lime
3.49

Generic Large Apple Crumb Pie 43 OZ
3.00

REESE'S Shell Topping, Chocolate & Peanut Butter 7 OZ
2.49

Generic In-Store Baked Bagels EA
3.56

Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Baked Graham Snacks, Vanilla Cupcake 7 OZ
.99

Breyers Indulgences Gelato, Raspberry Cheesecake 28 FO
4.69

Weg Sandwich Bag Z 00 CT
2.99

Smuckers Marmalade, Sweet Orange 8 OZ
2.99

Generic Assorted In Store Baked Muffins, 4 Pack 8 OZ
9.00

Coca-Cola Cola
3.49

Stewart's Fountain Classics Soda, Cream 48 FO
3.99

Generic Food You Feel Good About Mixed Peppers, FAMILY PACK 2 LB
5.49

Jif Peanut Butter, Creamy 40 OZ
5.99

Quaker Popped Rice Crisps, Apple Cinnamon 7 OZ
2.99

Generic Food You Feel Good About Unsweetened Apple Sauce Pouches, FAMILY PACK 77 OZ
8.99

Juicy Juice Apple 00% Juice 54 FO
2.99

Generic Italian Classics Alfredo Sauce 5 OZ
3.98

Generic Shredded Colby Jack Cheese 8 OZ
2.49

Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner, Original Flavor, 5 Pack 36 OZ
4.79

Generic Food You Feel Good About Parmesan Romano Sauce, FAMILY PACK 72 OZ
2.69

Generic Food You Feel Good About Distilled Water 28 FO
0.99

Gummi Peach LB
.58

Saranac Hand-Crafted Soft Drinks, Premium Orange Cream 72 FO
5.49

Generic Fancy Shredded Parmesan & Romano Cheese 6 OZ
2.49

Popsicle Ice Pops, Slow Melt, Mighty Minis, Assorted, 20 Pack
3.99

Generic Food You Feel Good About Cheese Whole Milk Ricotta 32 OZ
3.99

Generic Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies LB
5.88

Generic Food You Feel Good About Steamables Jasmine White Rice 0 OZ
.9

Generic Food You Feel Good About Long Grain Brown Rice 0 OZ
.9

Chex Mix Snack Mix, Bold Party Blend 9 OZ
.99

Mayfair Jellies Orange Slices LB
2.0

Uncle Ben's Whole Grain Medley Pouch, Ready, Brown & Wild 8 OZ
.99

Dried Cherries LB
4.29

Dole 00% Juice, Pineapple Orange Banana 59 FO
3.9

Generic Cheese Tortellini Pasta 6 OZ
2.99

Fairlife Milk, Ultra-Filtered, Reduced Fat, Chocolate, 2% 52 FO
3.99

Generic Tissues, 3-Ply, FAMILY PACK 750 CT
8.99

Energizer Batteries, Lithium, 2032 4 EA
5.99

Generic Food You Feel Good About Macaroni & Cheese 0 OZ
20.93

SHOPPERS CLUB SAVINGS-3.50
•   SHOPPERS CLUB SAVINGS 4.00
•   TOTAL SAVINGS 4.00
•   BOTTLE DEPOSIT .0
•   TAX 3.98
•   TOTAL 200.84
•   BOTTLE RETURN 0.00
•   COINSTAR 0.00
•   *****457 Credit Card 200.84
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Pizzabrewer on January 09, 2017, 11:06:28 AM
Cheese tortellini.  Look at this page and you'll see you bought the most expensive ($5.19 per lb) tortellini in the store.  Scroll down and there's many other cheaper options in the same store:

https://www.wegmans.com/search.html?searchKey=tortellini (https://www.wegmans.com/search.html?searchKey=tortellini)

A quick google showed ALDI (when it's available) has the same size package for $1.99 instead of the $6.49 you paid.

Just one example.

Where's the boneless/skinless chicken breast at $2/lb?  Eggs at $0.99/dozen (the cheapest protein there is)?  Fresh broccoli, onions, potatoes, oranges, apples, tomatoes, lettuce, in other words, real food?  Everything on your list is processed. 

We JUST bought this at TOPS (I'm sure you know that supermmrket chain):

4+ lbs of boneless/skinless chicken breasts for 10 bucks.  That'll make 8-10 huge portions.  And it couldn't be easier to cook. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 09, 2017, 11:12:34 AM
Snacks:

1st key is reusable containers. One of my friends has a Rubbermaid container for each of her grandkids, the kind with individual compartments. Into the compartments go pieces of cheese, grapes, baby carrots, celery.

Ideas:

1) bulk purchased plain yogurt (advanced - make your own) in reusable small containers with a bit of jam on top or a spoonful of frozen berries on the bottom.
2) huge block of cheese bought on sale, cut into bite-sized pieces
3) hummus in reusable small containers, either purchased in a big tub or made at home from dried chickpeas. Carrots or generic pretzel sticks as a dipper
4) big tub of raisins portioned into individual servings
5) bags of apples and oranges
6) peanut butter sandwiches

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cowardly Toaster on January 09, 2017, 11:15:25 AM

When going without new cars and fancy clothes and crown molding, I like to remind myself that while we can see our neighbor's fancy cars, we can't see their bank statements.

Profound Mustachian wisdom right there. I'm stealing that.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: wenchsenior on January 09, 2017, 11:17:15 AM
This grocery receipt absolutely blows my mind with how unbelievably unhealthy it is. Is this typical?

Forget expense, OP. You are killing yourselves with this so-called 'food'.

Seriously.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: notactiveanymore on January 09, 2017, 11:19:32 AM
Posting again to add a game plan for getting better with food spending:

1. Take an inventory of your pantry and freezer. Like seriously, write it down divided by category.
2. Meal plan. Plan out all lunches and dinners and what you'll need for snacks even.
3. Make a list based on that meal plan after you look at your inventory and see what you already have. Set it up based on your progress through the store. Do not deviate from the list unless a product is unavailable or you remember a true need.
4. Shop based on price per ounce. It takes two minutes to shred cheese, so it's usually cheaper and always fresher to buy blocks of cheese instead of pre-shredded.
5. For the next four weeks, don't focus on a number, but radically attempt to spend as little as possible on food. That amount can be your new monthly budget for food.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 09, 2017, 11:20:32 AM

Listen, the tough talk here is that your wife's job is being a stay at home mom and homemaker. If she wants to keep that job, she needs to stop spending 25% of the takehome income on muffins and juice. It's a hard hard job, but it's a vital job in your family and she can turn things around so fast by taking on this job with passion. You probably need to help more with that. When you're not at work, you should be able to do about half of the work on food/child-rearing. Let her go to the store without the kids on Saturday morning while you spend some good dad time with them. Help out by prepping your lunches on Sunday evening for the work week. Do the dishes after dinner, help with cooking, or keep the kiddos entertained while she is cooking. Find crockpot recipes to try out so that she doesn't have to focus a ton on prep time. Let go of your soda addiction.


Agreed.  Also, you mentioned she's very busy being out and about doing activities with kids.  She should stop that now because it's interfering with her job of being a HOMEMAKER.

Read Janet Lansbury http://www.janetlansbury.com/ for great info on why kids don't need activities, and it can in fact be detrimental to their attention-span and ability to entertain themselves, especially since you have a little little one.

They have their whole life to be out and about.  Let them enjoy this time of being little, playing in their own home.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 09, 2017, 11:22:56 AM
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/hummus-for-real-recipe.html

You can use peanut butter instead of tahini.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Rezdent on January 09, 2017, 11:25:13 AM
Beatles
Just a word of caution.  Don't get stuck.

What I am referring to is usually called "analysis paralysis".  You ask questions, get advice.  Ask more questions, more advice.  Repeat.  Repeat.
This feels good because it feels like you are addressing problems.  But the feeling is not accurate.

You must take action.  Action is harder.  Action sucks.
Posting a receipt is not action.  It is an autopsy of what happened,and can get you advice on how to improve, but it isn't action.

Calling a CPA or credit counselor today is action.  Listing the rent house is action.  Calling and cancelling massages are action.  Actually telling coworkers today that the free lunch ended last week is action.

If you are serious - don't mistake analysis for action.  Dont let today slip past without action.  Take action today.  And again tomorrow.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 09, 2017, 11:31:30 AM
Quote
6. I sure hope you aren't spending any money on entertainment. From now on, the library, free parks, free cultural events are your entertainment. Kids are bored you say? Get off your butt, and go play catch or make a snowman with them.

This is actually part of the reason why my wife says  it's hard to keep our grocery budget down.

She doesn't let them sit in front of the TV, they're always out doing things which creates 2 problems.

1) She packs snacks, but they run out and then are hungry.

2) She's gone all day doing activities with them, which gives no time (and energy) for making food.


Well, this is your problem right here:  your wife sees her job as "taking care of the children"; but your finances need her to see her job as "frugal homemaker."  If she doesn't want to take on that role, then she needs a job that pays -- or you need a job that pays more. 

All that running around is a choice.  Kids that age do not *need* to be doing "activities" and eating Burger King; all they need is a safe home and sufficient food and time to play and sleep.  Your wife is choosing that lifestyle for them, because she thinks it's best for them, or because she is going stir-crazy in the house all day with small kids, or because it's more fun than planning menus and cooking, or [insert alternative reason here]. 

This is not a criticism of her -- her choice to focus all her time and energy on your kids is great, if you can afford it.  But you can't.  So you and she together need to decide which alternate path she wants to take.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 09, 2017, 11:36:21 AM
Somehow I don't get the feeling we're getting anywhere here.

Advice: sell the rental.
Answer: can't, need to fix roof first.
Subsequent advice: forget the roof, list it today and get rid of it asap.
Subsequent answer: can't, want to fix roof first.

Advice: sell the car, use money to pay back debt and buy something cheaper.
Answer: I don't want to.

Advice: contact a tax lawyer or CPA to tackle your IRS debt.
Answer: maybe I should ask my parents to bail me out again...

Advice: your wife needs to take her role as homemaker seriously and start cooking!
Answer: can't, she's out all day with the kids doing fun stuff.

Advice: sell all unnecessary stuff from your house (that fourth TV, that third couch, etc.).
Answer: nah, I really don't want to.

Advice: tell your coworkers the free meal gravy train has come to a screetching halt.
Answer: none. literally, nothing. You have not said anything in this regard, and I'm afraid you're trying to ignore this particular piece of advice.

beatles, you need to take this seriously. I feel like you're desperately trying to find ways why you can't do any of the stuff that has been suggested, and will eventually resort to blaming society for its shortcomings or the banks for their greed just like you're blaming the IRS for your own mistakes already. Just talking and thinking about it won't change your situation. Taking action will, and you need to start right now. This has been said before but I'll gladly repeat it: if you don't start today you and your entire family might be homeless tomorrow.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 09, 2017, 11:45:03 AM
Like Rezdent said, actions, not reading.  Prep is good but accomplishes nothing without action.

Baby step # 1 - this was your first.  Hope it is done and not put off until tomorrow.

So it's Monday.  And after lunch in New York state.  What did you say to your office re the end of free lunches? How did you frame it?  How did they respond?

Baby step # 2.

Call an accountant re your taxes.  To me that is a super emergency situation, you are incredibly calm about it (too calm, much too calm).

Baby step # 3. 

You and your wife look through the freezer and find the rest of this week's lunches and dinners in there.  Have them at the top.  If something needs to thaw for lunch, ti goes in the fridge the night before, if it has to thaw for dinner it has to go in the fridge in the morning.  If not, it needs to be on top for easy access.  Your lunch needs to be ready to go the night before so you can just grab it on your way out.


Re the kids, there is masses of stuff she can do at home with them.  Basically anything a daycare would do, she can do.  And what about play dates in the neighbourhood, not where she and the other moms chat (although she may want some of that for a social life) but where she frees another Mom for other things, and the other mom frees her.  Hauling a not-quite 2 year old around is exhausting, especially in winter - snowsuits, snow, etc.  For little benefit.  No wonder she has no energy at the end of the day.

BTW, I went back to work (including an hour commute each way) because I was in an isolated area, no-one to visit with while DD was little and I was going stir-crazy.   I still didn't have food spending like you have, I cooked.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Allie on January 09, 2017, 11:50:13 AM
Start with the big things and try not to get overwhelmed.  At some point, you will realize that you are happier when you don't spend money on the things we have been programmed (by marketers!) to want.  My husband wasn't on board with all of the cuts I instituted when I first joined up here, but now he is the one asking me to reconsider unnecessary purchases.  Because if you stop spending on stuff that marketers say will bring you happiness and actually focus on your human needs (security, stability, being able to help the ones we love) you will become happier.

There are lots of little tips and tricks you and your wife can learn following along here and just digging through the posts.  For everything you want to buy, just ask if you have to buy it.  Most likely, you don't need it and if you do, you can probably find something that will meet your need for less.  Someone here once wrote that there is a great big river of stuff that flows around us and you just need to stick your hand in and pull out what you need (or something like that).  It's really true.

For example, our library has a huge selection of movies and tv shows available.  We cut the cable out a few years ago and between Netflix and the library and rabbit ears, we have more than enough to watch.  Our library allows you to put movies and show DVDs on hold.  Every few weeks, I work up a list of new releases and kid movies and put them on the list.  They email me when something comes in and I take the kidlet and do a library program and pick up our movies once a week.  This week the Ab Fab movie, finding dory, and the new Star Trek showed up.  Next week it should be blood father.  I can't recall if there was entertainment listed on your budget, but this chopped 100/month off of our monthly bills between cable, Amazon, pay per view, etc.  I get streaming movies and books through the library's hoopla site.  So convenient. 

I use reusable little Tupperware, refillable pouches, and snack bags for our snacks.  I either make applesauce out of clearance apples or buy it in #10 cans at Costco and put it in the ziploc bottom pouches myself.  I have a dehydrator from the thrift store ($5) that works great do dry whatever random clearance produce or super sale produce I can find.  Some weeks, I'll grab 10 lbs of .50/lb (which is a crazy price for apples up here in Alaska) and dehydrate them.  Then, the next week, when apples aren't on clearance and cost $3/lb, we eat the chips.  But, don't go out and buy refillable pouches and new gladware.  See if someone you know has some they don't use any longer, check thrift, post on the local buy nothing groups, etc. 

I have my kids do lots of homemaker stuff with me.  It's great one on one or one on two time for us.  We go out and about a couple times a week to get exercise at the park, playground, gym, library, etc. but when they cook with me they develop fine motor skills (scooping, mixing, rolling), learn a little science, practice math (doubling recipes for addition, fractions when measuring, reading numbers etc.), reading practice with recipes and labels, and get the overall experience of making something. 

I understand that your wife has her own preferences and how we do things isn't necessarily going to be you guys do things, but those are just some suggestions. 

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 09, 2017, 11:56:04 AM
Beatles - you don't need to put a roof on the rental to sell it - you just offer a credit for a new roof at closing.  Get a quote from a couple of roofers for the credit at closing.  Get the rental on the market now.  You are just procrastinating because, as I read it, you still have the idea that mommy and daddy can bail you out.  Stop it.  Sell the rental and payoff the property taxes and the IRS.

Nobody I know with kids is gone all day.  Kids can learn to sit on the floor in the kitchen and keep themselves busy while mom does what she needs to do.  I imagine that part of the problem with spending is the daily outings.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cowardly Toaster on January 09, 2017, 11:57:23 AM
Full disclosure: my financial situation is messy (albeit heading in the correct direction) however, I have the grocery bill on lock. I'd like to offer a few basic suggestions for you.

The following are staples:
Steel Cut Oatmeal
Potatoes
Rice
Beans (dry not canned)
Onions
Carrots
Milk
Eggs
Butter

These can be combined an infinite number of ways to make tasty meals.

Now, add hamburger, chicken, and bacon. You'll go light on these because they are expensive.

Add a 5 basic spices, add raisins, blocks of cheese, and a few canned goods. Add a few greens and apples and bananas.

You're good to go. You can make tasty, healthy meals with just the ingredients above with enough variety not to be monotonous.

For recipes, google 'hotdish." You'll find all kinds of great stuff.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: researcher1 on January 09, 2017, 12:08:52 PM
My Wife and I really enjoyed reading everyone who broke down our receipt and showed us where to save..
But she was a little annoyed that I posted a receipt that was a few months old (oops!), as she feels she has gotten better recently.
So would anyone be willing to critique our latest receipt (I double checked I had the right now this time)?

First off, some of the advice you're getting here is ridiculous.  You don't need to start making your own bread & jelly.  The idea that you must stop purchasing ALL pre-packaged food is also impractical and unnecessary.  Disregard this advice and focus on aspects of your life that you can easily and immediately change.

That being said, your grocery expenses are absolutely shocking.  My household is similar to yours, as we have a 3yr old and 5yr old.  We spend roughly $70/week at the grocery, plus another $100 every ~2 months at Sam's Club.  While we buy several of the pre-packaged items you have on your list, there are a few major exceptions:

Drinks
You spent nearly $30 on GARBAGE drinks.  We spend $0-$3.  Have you ever heard of WATER!
Juice is completely unnecessary and unhealthy for kids. There are dozens of articles on this topic, so have your wife do some research. 
And what is with all of that soda?  If you aren't already, your entire family will be obese diabetics with high cholesterol and heart disease.
- Dannon Danimals Smoothie, Value Pack   4.79
- Sprite Soda, Lemon-Lime   3.49
- Coca-Cola Cola   3.49
- Stewart's Fountain Classics Soda, Cream   3.99
- Dole 00% Juice, Pineapple Orange Banana   3.90
- Juicy Juice Apple 00% Juice   2.99
- Saranac Hand-Crafted Soft Drinks, Premium Orange Cream   5.49


Junk Food
How can you spend over $40 on junk food in just one trip to the store?  I'm not like many of the people here who eat zero pre-packaged junk food.  We buy our share of cookies, popsicles, ect.  But damn, this is out of control.  We will buy maybe ONE treat each trip to the store, not TEN.
- Generic Large Apple Crumb Pie
- Generic Assorted In Store Baked Muffins, 4 Pack
- REESE'S Shell Topping, Chocolate & Peanut Butter
- Breyers Indulgences Gelato, Raspberry Cheesecake
- Generic Food You Feel Good About Unsweetened Apple Sauce Pouches, FAMILY PACK
- Popsicle Ice Pops, Slow Melt, Mighty Minis, Assorted, 20 Pack
- Generic Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies
- Mayfair Jellies Orange Slices


Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: meandmyfamily on January 09, 2017, 12:18:08 PM
This!!!

Beatles
Just a word of caution.  Don't get stuck.

What I am referring to is usually called "analysis paralysis".  You ask questions, get advice.  Ask more questions, more advice.  Repeat.  Repeat.
This feels good because it feels like you are addressing problems.  But the feeling is not accurate.

You must take action.  Action is harder.  Action sucks.
Posting a receipt is not action.  It is an autopsy of what happened,and can get you advice on how to improve, but it isn't action.

Calling a CPA or credit counselor today is action.  Listing the rent house is action.  Calling and cancelling massages are action.  Actually telling coworkers today that the free lunch ended last week is action.

If you are serious - don't mistake analysis for action.  Dont let today slip past without action.  Take action today.  And again tomorrow.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 09, 2017, 12:53:16 PM
You are getting a lot of great advice from some black-belt frugalistas.  I myself have been on the frugality train for about 30 years (since I was about 20), and even I have learned some things from reading the amazing responses to your case study.

But when you're a white-belt, black-belt advice can seem overwhelming, or even impossible, at the level of wizardry and magic.

My suggestion:  choose one small, simple thing to start with, and watch the effect.  This will give you a tangible result that you can see and help spur you to make the next small change.

For instance, calculate what you're spending on soda every month, and then stop buying soda (and don't buy more processed beverages instead to make up for it--drink water, iced tea, water with lemon) and send the extra money to whatever CC you have in your sights first. 

Not ready for soda?  Choose something else.  But choose something.

Someone else mentioned the fantastic book Good And Cheap by Leanne Brown, and that it's available on Amazon.  But the entire book is also available online at the author's website as a PDF, absolutely free.  Here's a link:

https://www.leannebrown.com/

And here's a link straight to the book itself as a PDF:

https://cookbooks.leannebrown.com/good-and-cheap.pdf

Maybe you'll choose to make it a goal to replace one restaurant meal a week with a recipe from the book--many if not most of them cost < $2/serving for adults, and presumably even less for children.

But you have to start somewhere.  Just one thing.  That's all.  Then the next, and then the next.  But for now, just one thing.

Let us know what you pick, and how it goes.  We are all rooting for you!

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 12:58:03 PM
We racked it back up because we bought a new house.
No, not really.  You racked it up because you had to have everything in that house shiny and new and perfect, and so you bought moldings and new sofas when you could have made done with some paint and craigslist for furniture.


Beatles, here's some perspective for you.  The only debt we have is a 30k mortgage (0% interest loan from grandma which we are paying back monthly).  Even still, we don't own a couch because we don't have the money!  Or we do have the money, but we are choosing to spend that money on our investments, not our current comfort. 

I'm posting a picture of our "family room".  It's in quotes, because we (a family of SIX) don't even have a living room.  We have a kitchen and a bedroom.  In our kitchen is a hard-bench picnic table.  It serves as our table and also as our "couch" in the evenings when we watch tv. 

If you look carefully up on the shelf to the left is our TV, the SMALLEST (and cheapest) one they had at the store.  We use it with a chromecast ($30 bucks) to watch Netflix ($10/month).  We have no other cable other than that. 

We sit on our picnic table bench, lean back against the wall, and put our feet up on the bench.  What luxury!  But hey, learning to be a frugal god feels better than drowning in debt.  Learning to MAKE DO feels good, like the way you feel after a hard workout.

And, when our butts get tired from being on the hard bench at night, then guess what, that means it's time to stop watching TV (waste of time anyway) and GO TO BED, not look into buying a couch.

Wowzer.

I think my kids would revolt!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 01:01:44 PM
Here is a win.

Told everyone today that I wasn't purchasing lunches on M/W/F anymore.

They asked me to buy one more time, so I bought lunch today. One final time for $33.90
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 09, 2017, 01:02:42 PM
Here is a win.

Told everyone today that I wasn't purchasing lunches on M/W/F anymore.

They asked me to buy one more time, so I bought lunch today. One final time for $33.90

Excellent! How did they receive the news overall? Did you find the experience empowering? Are you excited, seeing that you can DO THIS? =D
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 09, 2017, 01:04:07 PM
LadyStache in Baja and her husband live within their means. That peace of mind is beyond price.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 09, 2017, 01:05:28 PM
Just had another idea:  maybe choose to make all your sweet treats at home instead of buying them at the grocery.  Teaching kids to make cookies is one of life's greatest joys, and it's a memory they will have forever.  Make Saturday morning or Sunday afternoon or whatever time you choose Cookie Time--kids get to pick recipes, "help" with the mixing, rolling, cutting--and will be invested in eating the results.  :)  Who knows--this might even take the place of an "activity" and save even more money in the long run!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 01:06:16 PM
Beatles - you don't need to put a roof on the rental to sell it - you just offer a credit for a new roof at closing.  Get a quote from a couple of roofers for the credit at closing.  Get the rental on the market now.  You are just procrastinating because, as I read it, you still have the idea that mommy and daddy can bail you out.  Stop it.  Sell the rental and payoff the property taxes and the IRS.

Nobody I know with kids is gone all day.  Kids can learn to sit on the floor in the kitchen and keep themselves busy while mom does what she needs to do.  I imagine that part of the problem with spending is the daily outings.

Do you think it'll be harder to sell without the roof?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 09, 2017, 01:07:50 PM
Here is a win.

Told everyone today that I wasn't purchasing lunches on M/W/F anymore.

They asked me to buy one more time, so I bought lunch today. One final time for $33.90

Good job, beatles! I know that couldn't have been easy for you to do, but it's DONE! You were at $115, so that makes it ~$149 for January instead of $600. WIN! \o/

Now take that $451 and send it to one of your credit cards - either the smallest balance or the highest interest.

You're on your way, buddy!

About the kids and their projected "revolt" - the harsh truth is that it doesn't matter what your  little kids want. Given free rein, most kids would eat their own boogers and run with sticks all day. At ages 4 and almost 2, they are still delightfully adaptable. They can still make choices: apple or orange? cheese or peanut butter? But you have to set the tone, the example, and the rules.

Kids who get their way all the time turn into terrible tyrants, and you definitely don't want to live with two little tyrants.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 09, 2017, 01:09:08 PM
Beatles - you don't need to put a roof on the rental to sell it - you just offer a credit for a new roof at closing.  Get a quote from a couple of roofers for the credit at closing.
Nor do you need to wait till the lease is up.  In fact, an investor prefers a current lessee, because it tells them right away that it is in a rentable condition.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 09, 2017, 01:09:32 PM
Beatles - you don't need to put a roof on the rental to sell it - you just offer a credit for a new roof at closing.  Get a quote from a couple of roofers for the credit at closing.  Get the rental on the market now.  You are just procrastinating because, as I read it, you still have the idea that mommy and daddy can bail you out.  Stop it.  Sell the rental and payoff the property taxes and the IRS.

Nobody I know with kids is gone all day.  Kids can learn to sit on the floor in the kitchen and keep themselves busy while mom does what she needs to do.  I imagine that part of the problem with spending is the daily outings.

Do you think it'll be harder to sell without the roof?

Talk to a real estate agent who knows your market. Don't assume until you have expert opinion. If they say "this is a slow market, no way will it sell", then consider the repair. But until you hear from someone with experience, you're putting up road blocks where there don't need to be any.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 09, 2017, 01:15:19 PM
Here is a win.

Told everyone today that I wasn't purchasing lunches on M/W/F anymore.

They asked me to buy one more time, so I bought lunch today. One final time for $33.90

This.  Is.  Awesome.  :)

If today's purchase is typical, you just freed up $400/month!

With your usual payment of $25/month, this is enough to COMPLETELY pay off CC 4 (with an additional $25-ish you can squeeze from somewhere)! 

Then next month, take that $400, the $25 from your former CC 4 payment, and the $194 for your regular payment, and destroy CC 1!

Then the next month, take the $400, the $25 from your former CC 4 payment, the $194 from your former CC1 payment, and destroy CC 6!

See how it works?  :)

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 01:15:40 PM
Advice: sell the rental.
Answer: can't, need to fix roof first.
Subsequent advice: forget the roof, list it today and get rid of it asap.
Subsequent answer: can't, want to fix roof first.

I want to sell the rental, but I also want to get the most we can for it.

If fixing the roof nets us $10k more, isn't that worth it!?!?

Quote
Advice: sell all unnecessary stuff from your house (that fourth TV, that third couch, etc.).
Answer: nah, I really don't want to.

It's not just that I don't want to, it's that I dont understand how that helps us.

We have loans against those items... And we'll receive pennies on the dollar for selling them.

Even another frugler in this thread said that doesn't make sense to do so.

Quote
Advice: tell your coworkers the free meal gravy train has come to a screetching halt.
Answer: none. literally, nothing. You have not said anything in this regard, and I'm afraid you're trying to ignore this particular piece of advice.

Did that today.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 09, 2017, 01:16:54 PM
Beatles - you don't need to put a roof on the rental to sell it - you just offer a credit for a new roof at closing.  Get a quote from a couple of roofers for the credit at closing.  Get the rental on the market now.  You are just procrastinating because, as I read it, you still have the idea that mommy and daddy can bail you out.  Stop it.  Sell the rental and payoff the property taxes and the IRS.

Nobody I know with kids is gone all day.  Kids can learn to sit on the floor in the kitchen and keep themselves busy while mom does what she needs to do.  I imagine that part of the problem with spending is the daily outings.

Do you think it'll be harder to sell without the roof?

Not really.  Just get a quote from a reputable roofer and make that your credit.  A lot of investors have skills, and can do these kinds of things themselves to save a buck. Flippers like to do things like this also.  You are better off putting it on the market as is, sooner rather than later.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: 1967mama on January 09, 2017, 01:19:17 PM
Kids who get their way all the time turn into terrible tyrants, and you definitely don't want to live with two little tyrants.

... who would then turn into 2 teenaged tyrants! Ack!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 09, 2017, 01:22:59 PM
Great job telling your coworkers that the free lunches are ending! That will save a lot going forward and it is good exercise to practice saying "no". :)

So if I understand correctly, you are underwater on your financed furniture and that makes you not want to sell it? The advice given to people on these forums when the same thing pops up for underwater cars is to get rid of it anyway, and then at least you have reduced the amount of debt you are carrying. You usually can't get a free car on Craigslist, but you can get free or almost frrr fur utile on Craigslist, so I think it would at least be worth spending an hour online searching to see what is possible.

I agree with others that you have a lot of junk food on your grocery bill. My husband just went shopping yesterday at our local Trader Joe's (the best grocery store ever) :). I don't have the receipt to share specifics, but for $100 we got something on the order of:

couple of pears
some bananas
a few colorful bell peppers
broccoli salad mix
bag of pre-washed baby kale
box of cucumbers
two loaves of 100% whole wheat bread
half gallon of lactaid milk
pound of ground turkey (split, used in two different recipes)
bag of onions
two dozen eggs
block of smoked guda (*note: the most processed and also the most expensive food item of our purchases)
two cans of coconut milk
jar of salsa
couple jars of spaghetti sauce
couple tubs of fresh tofu
bag of whole wheat naan
two different containers of mushrooms (crimini & oyster)

I know I am forgetting some stuff, but I didn't put all of the groceries away. Last weekend I also made two loaves of whole wheat bread for fun (inspired by this thread - thanks!) and a double batch of a great pumpkin bread (whole wheat flour + chopped pecans) to use up the gnarly old bananas we had lying around. We are by no means that frugal with our groceries and probably spend $500-600 a month for two adults and a toddler. I know this attitude will get my banished to the Bogleheads forum forever, but I figure it is okay to be a little spendy since we have $1.5M invested right now. :)

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: 1967mama on January 09, 2017, 01:23:13 PM
Just had another idea:  maybe choose to make all your sweet treats at home instead of buying them at the grocery.  Teaching kids to make cookies is one of life's greatest joys, and it's a memory they will have forever.  Make Saturday morning or Sunday afternoon or whatever time you choose Cookie Time--kids get to pick recipes, "help" with the mixing, rolling, cutting--and will be invested in eating the results.  :)  Who knows--this might even take the place of an "activity" and save even more money in the long run!

Here's a super little recipe from my cookbook - we make them often!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Rezdent on January 09, 2017, 01:25:47 PM
We racked it back up because we bought a new house.
No, not really.  You racked it up because you had to have everything in that house shiny and new and perfect, and so you bought moldings and new sofas when you could have made done with some paint and craigslist for furniture.


Beatles, here's some perspective for you.  The only debt we have is a 30k mortgage (0% interest loan from grandma which we are paying back monthly).  Even still, we don't own a couch because we don't have the money!  Or we do have the money, but we are choosing to spend that money on our investments, not our current comfort. 

I'm posting a picture of our "family room".  It's in quotes, because we (a family of SIX) don't even have a living room.  We have a kitchen and a bedroom.  In our kitchen is a hard-bench picnic table.  It serves as our table and also as our "couch" in the evenings when we watch tv. 

If you look carefully up on the shelf to the left is our TV, the SMALLEST (and cheapest) one they had at the store.  We use it with a chromecast ($30 bucks) to watch Netflix ($10/month).  We have no other cable other than that. 

We sit on our picnic table bench, lean back against the wall, and put our feet up on the bench.  What luxury!  But hey, learning to be a frugal god feels better than drowning in debt.  Learning to MAKE DO feels good, like the way you feel after a hard workout.

And, when our butts get tired from being on the hard bench at night, then guess what, that means it's time to stop watching TV (waste of time anyway) and GO TO BED, not look into buying a couch.

Wowzer.

I think my kids would revolt!
Not really.  Kids under the age of six can't really revolt.  YOU are the boss of the kids, remember?  At the most, they can pout for a few days, at most.  And as adults, you can just wait out the pouting.  Really, just don't back down.
Personally, I would just eliminate tv altogether for a couple of years, then they might truly enjoy an occasional show.  I did this with my kids, and they totally aced school (and athletics. and music).  I realize this might be too hardcore even for the MMM crowd, but just saying.

LadyStache rocks.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 09, 2017, 01:29:55 PM
Beatles, do you have a family sized crockpot?  It's easy to make really good meals using a crockpot, and a great many of them can be put into the crock the night before, stored in the fridge, and then put into the crockpot heating base in the morning without driving momma crazy with distractions.  Cut, mix and such the recipe the night before after the kids are in bed.  You can't do this everyday, unless you have a second removable crock, because you need the day in between to consume the leftovers and clean the crock.

Seriously, though, you can make some excellent meals with a crockpot and enough advance time.  Slow roasted rump roast with onions, carrots & potatoes is one of my favorites.  Once for dinner, then on a sandwich the next day.  Roast isn't cheap, so it's not like it could be an everyday thing, but it's not a complex task.  I'd say that most any crockpot meal can be prepared in about 20 minutes of un-interupted action, and heated on the low setting for about 6 to 8 hours.

And during the winter, the heat that the crockpot loses to into the kitchen will help with the heating needs of the house, so you really don't lose energy, since you'd be heating the kitchen anyway.  In a way, a crockpot in winter is heat used twice.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 09, 2017, 01:33:10 PM
I want to sell the rental, but I also want to get the most we can for it.

If fixing the roof nets us $10k more, isn't that worth it!?!?

Maybe, maybe not.  You have to do the analysis:

Listing price with old roof
Price of new roof
Listing price with new roof

You'll need advice from a good realtor on this.  More often than not, though, you don't get a full "payback" from capital improvements.  Also, consider the market you're likely trying to attract:  investors, who have either the skills or the contacts to get it done cheaply and might chomp at the bit to buy your property with the older roof.

Run the numbers, then decide. 

My gut tells me it's best to list without fixing the roof, but talk to a realtor and make the call, and get the thing on the market!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 01:40:15 PM
We racked it back up because we bought a new house.
No, not really.  You racked it up because you had to have everything in that house shiny and new and perfect, and so you bought moldings and new sofas when you could have made done with some paint and craigslist for furniture.


Beatles, here's some perspective for you.  The only debt we have is a 30k mortgage (0% interest loan from grandma which we are paying back monthly).  Even still, we don't own a couch because we don't have the money!  Or we do have the money, but we are choosing to spend that money on our investments, not our current comfort. 

I'm posting a picture of our "family room".  It's in quotes, because we (a family of SIX) don't even have a living room.  We have a kitchen and a bedroom.  In our kitchen is a hard-bench picnic table.  It serves as our table and also as our "couch" in the evenings when we watch tv. 

If you look carefully up on the shelf to the left is our TV, the SMALLEST (and cheapest) one they had at the store.  We use it with a chromecast ($30 bucks) to watch Netflix ($10/month).  We have no other cable other than that. 

We sit on our picnic table bench, lean back against the wall, and put our feet up on the bench.  What luxury!  But hey, learning to be a frugal god feels better than drowning in debt.  Learning to MAKE DO feels good, like the way you feel after a hard workout.

And, when our butts get tired from being on the hard bench at night, then guess what, that means it's time to stop watching TV (waste of time anyway) and GO TO BED, not look into buying a couch.

Wowzer.

I think my kids would revolt!
Not really.  Kids under the age of six can't really revolt.  YOU are the boss of the kids, remember?  At the most, they can pout for a few days, at most.  And as adults, you can just wait out the pouting.  Really, just don't back down.
Personally, I would just eliminate tv altogether for a couple of years, then they might truly enjoy an occasional show.  I did this with my kids, and they totally aced school (and athletics. and music).  I realize this might be too hardcore even for the MMM crowd, but just saying.

LadyStache rocks.

It doesn't really feel like were the boss all the time.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 01:41:34 PM
I want to sell the rental, but I also want to get the most we can for it.

If fixing the roof nets us $10k more, isn't that worth it!?!?

Maybe, maybe not.  You have to do the analysis:

Listing price with old roof
Price of new roof
Listing price with new roof

You'll need advice from a good realtor on this.  More often than not, though, you don't get a full "payback" from capital improvements.  Also, consider the market you're likely trying to attract:  investors, who have either the skills or the contacts to get it done cheaply and might chomp at the bit to buy your property with the older roof.

Run the numbers, then decide. 

My gut tells me it's best to list without fixing the roof, but talk to a realtor and make the call, and get the thing on the market!

Thank you.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 09, 2017, 01:42:35 PM
It doesn't really feel like were the boss all the time.

As a parent, you are the boss.

A boss of mine once told me:  you are not given authority--you take it.

Kids will look to you for structure, boundaries, limitations.  As a children's choir educator hero of mine says, "structure relieves anxiety." 

Give your kids the gift of taking charge.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ShoulderThingThatGoesUp on January 09, 2017, 01:43:30 PM
We racked it back up because we bought a new house.
No, not really.  You racked it up because you had to have everything in that house shiny and new and perfect, and so you bought moldings and new sofas when you could have made done with some paint and craigslist for furniture.


Beatles, here's some perspective for you.  The only debt we have is a 30k mortgage (0% interest loan from grandma which we are paying back monthly).  Even still, we don't own a couch because we don't have the money!  Or we do have the money, but we are choosing to spend that money on our investments, not our current comfort. 

I'm posting a picture of our "family room".  It's in quotes, because we (a family of SIX) don't even have a living room.  We have a kitchen and a bedroom.  In our kitchen is a hard-bench picnic table.  It serves as our table and also as our "couch" in the evenings when we watch tv. 

If you look carefully up on the shelf to the left is our TV, the SMALLEST (and cheapest) one they had at the store.  We use it with a chromecast ($30 bucks) to watch Netflix ($10/month).  We have no other cable other than that. 

We sit on our picnic table bench, lean back against the wall, and put our feet up on the bench.  What luxury!  But hey, learning to be a frugal god feels better than drowning in debt.  Learning to MAKE DO feels good, like the way you feel after a hard workout.

And, when our butts get tired from being on the hard bench at night, then guess what, that means it's time to stop watching TV (waste of time anyway) and GO TO BED, not look into buying a couch.

Wowzer.

I think my kids would revolt!
Not really.  Kids under the age of six can't really revolt.  YOU are the boss of the kids, remember?  At the most, they can pout for a few days, at most.  And as adults, you can just wait out the pouting.  Really, just don't back down.
Personally, I would just eliminate tv altogether for a couple of years, then they might truly enjoy an occasional show.  I did this with my kids, and they totally aced school (and athletics. and music).  I realize this might be too hardcore even for the MMM crowd, but just saying.

LadyStache rocks.

It doesn't really feel like were the boss all the time.

That sounds like how you feel about money, too. Guess what? Not only are you the boss, your family needs you (plural, including your wife) to be the boss.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 09, 2017, 01:45:59 PM
It doesn't really feel like were the boss all the time.

As a parent, you are the boss.

A boss of mine once told me:  you are not given authority--you take it.

Kids will look to you for structure, boundaries, limitations.  As a children's choir educator hero of mine says, "structure relieves anxiety." 

Give your kids the gift of being in charge.

This! This is what I was trying to say above, but Zoot says it so much better.

Children don't have the developmental capacity to be in charge of much of anything. It's their job to learn and grow, and sometimes it's their job to look for where the boundary is. Make sure there are boundaries for them to find. Children thrive on structure and routine - if they're not provided with that, they will sometimes try to create it for themselves, and it may look very different from what you would like as a parent.

But they are young, and therefore malleable, and now is the perfect time to start being the boss of them.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 09, 2017, 01:47:00 PM
Advice: sell the rental.
Answer: can't, need to fix roof first.
Subsequent advice: forget the roof, list it today and get rid of it asap.
Subsequent answer: can't, want to fix roof first.

I want to sell the rental, but I also want to get the most we can for it.

If fixing the roof nets us $10k more, isn't that worth it!?!?


You can't afford to fix the roof -- you don't have the money.  First rule of holes:  when you're in one, stop digging. 

If you want to determine whether fixing the roof is worth it financially, you need to talk to a Realtor and to whomever is going to lend you the money for the repairs to determine (i) the likely net profit from the sale both with/without the roof, taking into consideration the repair costs + interest; (ii) the timeframe to sell if you list immediately as-is vs. wait until you can get it fixed; (iii) the difference in income (rent payments) and outflow (mortgage/taxes) over that timeframe; and (iv) the extra $$ you will pay in interest/penalties on the back taxes (IRS/property) during any extra time it takes to repair the roof (because delaying the sale for repairs likely means delaying the date on which you can get that resolved).  You may be right, it may be best to fix the roof first, but you don't know that based on a $10K guesstimate.

My sense is that this is another example where the perfect is the enemy of the good.  It will take a lot of time and effort to fix the house up for sale, and you might not get as much out of it as you think when you consider all of the interest you're paying elsewhere in the meantime.  You may be better off in the long run cutting bait on the rental so you can focus your limited time/energy on all of the other issues you need to address.

Big congrats on the lunches, btw -- that's a hard thing to do.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 09, 2017, 01:47:31 PM

It doesn't really feel like were the boss all the time.

It won't feel like that all the time, but if it doesn't feel like you are in charge most of the time, the kids are winning.  You don't want them to grow up with an entitlement mentality, or the teenage years are going to suck for you all.  Also, train them now that the sweet snacks are an extra special treat.  It was only about 100 years ago that getting an orange for Christmas was a special treat in the New England states.  When I grew up, we went to McDonalds about 4 or 5 times in a year, and that was an event for my sister, brother & I.  As an adult, you can change your own perspectives on what comfort means, with the will to do it; but kids need to be trained that luxuries are rare, and that they don't deserve them just because they didn't have a tantrum yesterday.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 09, 2017, 01:51:08 PM
Quote
A boss of mine once told me:  you are not given authority--you take it.

Kids will look to you for structure, boundaries, limitations.  As a children's choir educator hero of mine says, "structure relieves anxiety."

My kid is only 2.5 so I can't speak to what parenting a 4 year-old is like, but I am totally on board with what others are saying about you being the boss. We are not as strict as my parents were, however there are definitely boundaries. What works well for our kid is giving her a choice. She really really really wants autonomy so we handle it by letting her choose between two pre-selected options. "Would you like to wear the blue pants or the red?", "Do you want to eat PB&J or oatmeal for breakfast?", "Do you want to read this book or that one?". You get the picture. I've learned to not ask her "what do you want to eat for dinner?", and similarly she almost never dictates what we buy at the grocery store.
[....Okay, okay, she wanted red bell peppers so I bought them for her.... ] If she wants a chocolate, she gets ONE dark chocolate covered almond. Period. Amazingly, she hasn't figured out yet that she is leading a deprived life. :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cranky on January 09, 2017, 01:52:14 PM
Put dinner in the crockpot. Bake some muffins (you'll get more than 4 and it will cost you a lot less.)

Take cheese and crackers and apples and muffins and water in reusable containers, and go about your day. I stayed home with my kids for 16 years, and they were not closely acquainted with fast food because we cooked at home.

Don't buy stuff you can't pay for. I am stunned at the idea of borrowing money to buy couches. Really?

You guys can do this, but it is going to take some work. I think it helps if you make it a game - call it "Beat the System".
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 09, 2017, 01:58:33 PM
http://www.superhealthykids.com/10-quick-healthy-freezer-slow-cooker-meals-no-prep-cooking-needed/ (http://www.superhealthykids.com/10-quick-healthy-freezer-slow-cooker-meals-no-prep-cooking-needed/)

We have started experimenting with something called crock pot freezer recipes. Basically you take a couple of hours on a weekend (we did it when the kid was napping) to chop and measure out a bunch of ingredients for 10 or more recipes at once. You stick all of the ingredients in plastic zip-lock freezer bags so that all you have to do is pull one out, defrost, and then pop it into the crock pot. My husband puts it into the crock pot in the morning before he leaves for work and I serve it once I get home from work in the evening. You might need to make some rice (from scratch, not frozen!) to go along with, or toast some bread, or something equally easy.

I always substitute whole grain options whenever possible. For example, if it calls for the thing you make in the crock pot to be poured over pasta, I make 100% whole wheat pasta. We also do brown rice, 100% whole wheat couscous, brown rice pasta for Asian dishes, etc. It is SUCH a mental relief having all of these meals planned out in advance and knowing that all I have to do to have food is open up the chest freezer in the garage and pull out the crock pot.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 09, 2017, 01:59:30 PM
We racked it back up because we bought a new house.
No, not really.  You racked it up because you had to have everything in that house shiny and new and perfect, and so you bought moldings and new sofas when you could have made done with some paint and craigslist for furniture.


Beatles, here's some perspective for you.  The only debt we have is a 30k mortgage (0% interest loan from grandma which we are paying back monthly).  Even still, we don't own a couch because we don't have the money!  Or we do have the money, but we are choosing to spend that money on our investments, not our current comfort. 

I'm posting a picture of our "family room".  It's in quotes, because we (a family of SIX) don't even have a living room.  We have a kitchen and a bedroom.  In our kitchen is a hard-bench picnic table.  It serves as our table and also as our "couch" in the evenings when we watch tv. 

If you look carefully up on the shelf to the left is our TV, the SMALLEST (and cheapest) one they had at the store.  We use it with a chromecast ($30 bucks) to watch Netflix ($10/month).  We have no other cable other than that. 

We sit on our picnic table bench, lean back against the wall, and put our feet up on the bench.  What luxury!  But hey, learning to be a frugal god feels better than drowning in debt.  Learning to MAKE DO feels good, like the way you feel after a hard workout.

And, when our butts get tired from being on the hard bench at night, then guess what, that means it's time to stop watching TV (waste of time anyway) and GO TO BED, not look into buying a couch.

Wowzer.

I think my kids would revolt!
Not really.  Kids under the age of six can't really revolt.  YOU are the boss of the kids, remember?  At the most, they can pout for a few days, at most.  And as adults, you can just wait out the pouting.  Really, just don't back down.
Personally, I would just eliminate tv altogether for a couple of years, then they might truly enjoy an occasional show.  I did this with my kids, and they totally aced school (and athletics. and music).  I realize this might be too hardcore even for the MMM crowd, but just saying.

LadyStache rocks.

It doesn't really feel like were the boss all the time.

That sounds like how you feel about money, too. Guess what? Not only are you the boss, your family needs you (plural, including your wife) to be the boss.

OK, so now you really need to read Janet Lansbury.  I'll give you a quick summary.  Kids need you to be in charge and need to know that their emotions are ok.  When they have a tantrum, they need to know that it doesn't phase you (even though it might be driving you nuts), because you're in charge.  If you start bending over backwards for every whim ("no, I want my milk in the blue cup") then that's scary for them because it means they're in charge, and they know they don't know what they're doing.  Get it?

So when they say "no i want my milk in the blue cup" you say, "you can have it in this red cup I've already poured or you can have no milk".  they might scream and throw a fit.  You say, "wow, you're really upset" (say this with empathy), and then take the milk away and put it in the fridge for later. 

If they keep screaming, you just ignore them and go about your day.  If they start hurting things you say, "you're very angry, but I won't let you hit things.  I'm going to hold your arms and keep us safe until you can stop hitting".  You might also add "It's ok to be angry but it's not ok to hit.  You can hit this pillow if you'd like". 

This is getting long, and I'm supposed to be cleaning the kitchen. 

Basically, its ok for kids to be upset.  Internalize that.  It's ok for my kid to be upset.  It's ok for her to experience anger.  Frustration.  Even sadness.  It's ok.  I'm going to let her experience this emotion while I set the limit.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 02:01:40 PM
Advice: sell the rental.
Answer: can't, need to fix roof first.
Subsequent advice: forget the roof, list it today and get rid of it asap.
Subsequent answer: can't, want to fix roof first.

I want to sell the rental, but I also want to get the most we can for it.

If fixing the roof nets us $10k more, isn't that worth it!?!?


You can't afford to fix the roof -- you don't have the money.  First rule of holes:  when you're in one, stop digging. 

If you want to determine whether fixing the roof is worth it financially, you need to talk to a Realtor and to whomever is going to lend you the money for the repairs to determine (i) the likely net profit from the sale both with/without the roof, taking into consideration the repair costs + interest; (ii) the timeframe to sell if you list immediately as-is vs. wait until you can get it fixed; (iii) the difference in income (rent payments) and outflow (mortgage/taxes) over that timeframe; and (iv) the extra $$ you will pay in interest/penalties on the back taxes (IRS/property) during any extra time it takes to repair the roof (because delaying the sale for repairs likely means delaying the date on which you can get that resolved).  You may be right, it may be best to fix the roof first, but you don't know that based on a $10K guesstimate.

My sense is that this is another example where the perfect is the enemy of the good.  It will take a lot of time and effort to fix the house up for sale, and you might not get as much out of it as you think when you consider all of the interest you're paying elsewhere in the meantime.  You may be better off in the long run cutting bait on the rental so you can focus your limited time/energy on all of the other issues you need to address.

Big congrats on the lunches, btw -- that's a hard thing to do.

My parents could pay for the roof if we want.

We did talk to a realtor and she said that the roof not being finished will drive buyers away.

She said that even the way a picture is angled for their house listing online affects open house visits.

So a bad roof in a picture is going to cut our potential by a lot.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 09, 2017, 02:02:00 PM
Quote
It's ok.  I'm going to let her experience this emotion while I set the limit.

I try to emulate this: "le cadre", in French. In short, set expectations for what my kid can and cannot do. Tell her where the boundaries are, and then let her run amok within those boundaries.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 09, 2017, 02:04:32 PM
Congrats on the work lunches, Beatles!  Huge win.  :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: infogoon on January 09, 2017, 02:07:36 PM
Posting to follow.

OP -- if you have Tops stores available, there are some awesome resources to help save money on the grocery bill via careful coupon and sale shopping. I'd be happy to PM links.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 09, 2017, 02:09:00 PM
It's not just that I don't want to, it's that I dont understand how that helps us.

We have loans against those items... And we'll receive pennies on the dollar for selling them.

Even another frugler in this thread said that doesn't make sense to do so.

They were talking about the furniture and I agree there. Yes, there's absolutely no point in selling used furniture since it will net you literal pennies to the dollar at most. The car is a different story though. Based on what you've told us you own roughly $3,500 and have a $400 monthly payment. The car is worth around $13,000 based on your own research, which means:

+ $13,000 when you sell the car this month
- $3,500 pay back dealer/bank
- $5,000 buy used car in good condition (no SUV! Toyota/Honda/Kia minivan or sedan!)
-----------
$4,500 you can use to pay off credit cards CC2 in January 2017.

This move will also free up an additional $530 each month ($400 car payment + $130 CC2 payment) that you can use to pay off your credit card debt. Together with the meals that you're no longer buying for your coworkers (congrats on that by the way, well done!) we're talking about $1,130 every month that you will be able to pay towards your credit card debt. Here's the simple math behind it:

Jan 2017: sell car, buy cheaper used car, pay off CC2
Feb 2017: use $1,130 to pay off CC3 & CC5 -> extra $45 starting March
Mar 2017: use $1,175 to pay off CC1 & start paying off CC2 -> extra $195 starting April
Apr 2017: use $1,370 towards CC2
May 2017: use $1,370 towards CC2
Jun 2017: use $1,370 to pay off CC2 -> extra $135 starting July
Jul 2017: use $1,500 to pay off CC6 and start paying off CC7 -> extra $75 starting August
Aug 2017: use $1,575 to pay off CC7 -> extra $100 starting September
Sep 2017: use $450 to pay off CC4, put remaining $1,225 towards furniture loan, parents, IRS debt, etc.

It is now October 2017, and you've paid off every single dollar of credit card debt, your car loan is gone, and you've got an additional $1,700 to pay off your debt every single month. And all you had to do in order to achieve this is a) sell your car, and b) stop buying lunches for your coworkers (which you already did, congratulations on that by the way!)

Imagine how much more you will be able to achieve if you stop buying and eating/drinking junk, you and your wife start home cooking your meals, and you bring down your grocery budget to $600 per month.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 09, 2017, 02:09:48 PM
BTW, I want to add in - good job on the progress you have made so far and for sticking with all of our long-winded advice and punishment. You can do this!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 09, 2017, 02:11:03 PM
My parents could pay for the roof if we want.

We did talk to a realtor and she said that the roof not being finished will drive buyers away.

She said that even the way a picture is angled for their house listing online affects open house visits.

So a bad roof in a picture is going to cut our potential by a lot.

Sounds like you've done the legwork.  Get the quotes and make the repair--ask your realtor whether the expense for architectural shingles (for example) is worth it (I suspect not).  Do it quickly--every month you delay a sale is another mortgage payment you have to make.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 09, 2017, 02:13:07 PM
Advice: sell the rental.
Answer: can't, need to fix roof first.
Subsequent advice: forget the roof, list it today and get rid of it asap.
Subsequent answer: can't, want to fix roof first.

I want to sell the rental, but I also want to get the most we can for it.

If fixing the roof nets us $10k more, isn't that worth it!?!?


You can't afford to fix the roof -- you don't have the money.  First rule of holes:  when you're in one, stop digging. 

If you want to determine whether fixing the roof is worth it financially, you need to talk to a Realtor and to whomever is going to lend you the money for the repairs to determine (i) the likely net profit from the sale both with/without the roof, taking into consideration the repair costs + interest; (ii) the timeframe to sell if you list immediately as-is vs. wait until you can get it fixed; (iii) the difference in income (rent payments) and outflow (mortgage/taxes) over that timeframe; and (iv) the extra $$ you will pay in interest/penalties on the back taxes (IRS/property) during any extra time it takes to repair the roof (because delaying the sale for repairs likely means delaying the date on which you can get that resolved).  You may be right, it may be best to fix the roof first, but you don't know that based on a $10K guesstimate.

My sense is that this is another example where the perfect is the enemy of the good.  It will take a lot of time and effort to fix the house up for sale, and you might not get as much out of it as you think when you consider all of the interest you're paying elsewhere in the meantime.  You may be better off in the long run cutting bait on the rental so you can focus your limited time/energy on all of the other issues you need to address.

Big congrats on the lunches, btw -- that's a hard thing to do.

My parents could pay for the roof if we want.

We did talk to a realtor and she said that the roof not being finished will drive buyers away.

She said that even the way a picture is angled for their house listing online affects open house visits.

So a bad roof in a picture is going to cut our potential by a lot.

Please note that I didn't say you couldn't borrow the money -- I said you don't have the money.  Time to stand on your own feet and fix this yourself.

I am not a Realtor and don't know your market at all, but you are looking for the investor market, not the primary homebuyer market.  Talk to someone who serves that market first before you decide.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 09, 2017, 02:13:40 PM

My parents could pay for the roof if we want.

We did talk to a realtor and she said that the roof not being finished will drive buyers away.

She said that even the way a picture is angled for their house listing online affects open house visits.

So a bad roof in a picture is going to cut our potential by a lot.
I thought we were past the "running back to mummy and daddy for money" thing?

Find a better realtor.  One that specialises in selling rentals, if there is such a thing.  The one you asked just wants easy money for no effort, which is what selling houses in perfect condition is for her.

Yes, the roof will put off some people.  It won't put off a serious investor, although they will try to knock you down on price because of it.  That is why you get a couple of estimates to counter them in the negotiations.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 09, 2017, 02:14:02 PM
My parents could pay for the roof if we want.

Oh, and of course, if your parents are paying for the roof, pay them back out of the proceeds of the sale.

This is critical for your relationship with them, their own financial health, and your ability to stand on your own financial feet.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: charis on January 09, 2017, 02:14:41 PM

My parents could pay for the roof if we want.

We did talk to a realtor and she said that the roof not being finished will drive buyers away.

She said that even the way a picture is angled for their house listing online affects open house visits.

So a bad roof in a picture is going to cut our potential by a lot.

No one else finds this problematic?  As an adult, I've never thought to myself, "well, I have this money problem - my parents would pay for if I asked them."  It has never occurred to me, although my parents have offered to pay for many things over the years.   

I believe this mindset is part of your problem.   You don't have the money to fix the roof.  You already owe money to your parents, right?  Sell the damn thing asap.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 09, 2017, 02:20:41 PM
I find this highly problematic as well and would not ask my parents to do it. former player is spot on - your realtor is looking for easy money. Get another one.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 02:22:09 PM
I thought we were past the "running back to mummy and daddy for money" thing?

Find a better realtor.  One that specialises in selling rentals, if there is such a thing.  The one you asked just wants easy money for no effort, which is what selling houses in perfect condition is for her.

Yes, the roof will put off some people.  It won't put off a serious investor, although they will try to knock you down on price because of it.  That is why you get a couple of estimates to counter them in the negotiations.

I know, I know.

It's just hard not to turn back to them.

They've given us about $50k over the last few years.

They're awesome, and they're our fallback.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 02:23:13 PM
My parents could pay for the roof if we want.

Oh, and of course, if your parents are paying for the roof, pay them back out of the proceeds of the sale.

This is critical for your relationship with them, their own financial health, and your ability to stand on your own financial feet.

I've actually tried paying them back for stuff in the post.

Once in a while they'll accept it, but most of the time they say "No, no" and hand it back.

Or they'll take the check and then never cash it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ReadySetMillionaire on January 09, 2017, 02:24:29 PM
My parents could pay for the roof if we want.

We did talk to a realtor and she said that the roof not being finished will drive buyers away.

She said that even the way a picture is angled for their house listing online affects open house visits.

So a bad roof in a picture is going to cut our potential by a lot.

I'm starting to realize that our differences in the other thread are likely due to your parents subsidizing your lifestyle well into your adult life. Nothing wrong with that, but I guess it would change your outlook on whether or not you took care of them when they retired regardless of their choices.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 02:25:02 PM
It's not just that I don't want to, it's that I dont understand how that helps us.

We have loans against those items... And we'll receive pennies on the dollar for selling them.

Even another frugler in this thread said that doesn't make sense to do so.

They were talking about the furniture and I agree there. Yes, there's absolutely no point in selling used furniture since it will net you literal pennies to the dollar at most. The car is a different story though. Based on what you've told us you own roughly $3,500 and have a $400 monthly payment. The car is worth around $13,000 based on your own research, which means:

+ $13,000 when you sell the car this month
- $3,500 pay back dealer/bank
- $5,000 buy used car in good condition (no SUV! Toyota/Honda/Kia minivan or sedan!)
-----------
$4,500 you can use to pay off credit cards CC2 in January 2017.

This move will also free up an additional $530 each month ($400 car payment + $130 CC2 payment) that you can use to pay off your credit card debt. Together with the meals that you're no longer buying for your coworkers (congrats on that by the way, well done!) we're talking about $1,130 every month that you will be able to pay towards your credit card debt. Here's the simple math behind it:

Jan 2017: sell car, buy cheaper used car, pay off CC2
Feb 2017: use $1,130 to pay off CC3 & CC5 -> extra $45 starting March
Mar 2017: use $1,175 to pay off CC1 & start paying off CC2 -> extra $195 starting April
Apr 2017: use $1,370 towards CC2
May 2017: use $1,370 towards CC2
Jun 2017: use $1,370 to pay off CC2 -> extra $135 starting July
Jul 2017: use $1,500 to pay off CC6 and start paying off CC7 -> extra $75 starting August
Aug 2017: use $1,575 to pay off CC7 -> extra $100 starting September
Sep 2017: use $450 to pay off CC4, put remaining $1,225 towards furniture loan, parents, IRS debt, etc.

It is now October 2017, and you've paid off every single dollar of credit card debt, your car loan is gone, and you've got an additional $1,700 to pay off your debt every single month. And all you had to do in order to achieve this is a) sell your car, and b) stop buying lunches for your coworkers (which you already did, congratulations on that by the way!)

Imagine how much more you will be able to achieve if you stop buying and eating/drinking junk, you and your wife start home cooking your meals, and you bring down your grocery budget to $600 per month.

That sounds good.

Sept 2017 is far away though.

How do I make it happen faster?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 09, 2017, 02:25:40 PM
I've actually tried paying them back for stuff in the post.

Once in a while they'll accept it, but most of the time they say "No, no" and hand it back.

Or they'll take the check and then never cash it.

Adult up and have the hard conversation with them.  Tell them you appreciate their help, but this is a business deal and you want to treat them like a business partner.  Then don't ask for any more money--after this deal, the Bank of Mom and Dad is closed.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 02:26:16 PM
My parents could pay for the roof if we want.

We did talk to a realtor and she said that the roof not being finished will drive buyers away.

She said that even the way a picture is angled for their house listing online affects open house visits.

So a bad roof in a picture is going to cut our potential by a lot.

I'm starting to realize that our differences in the other thread are likely due to your parents subsidizing your lifestyle well into your adult life. Nothing wrong with that, but I guess it would change your outlook on whether or not you took care of them when they retired regardless of their choices.

Possibly.

My parents don't say No and I couldnt imagine saying No back to them.

They're the kindest, most amazing people i've ever met and I'm so fortunate to have been birthed by them.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 09, 2017, 02:29:14 PM
I thought we were past the "running back to mummy and daddy for money" thing?

Find a better realtor.  One that specialises in selling rentals, if there is such a thing.  The one you asked just wants easy money for no effort, which is what selling houses in perfect condition is for her.

Yes, the roof will put off some people.  It won't put off a serious investor, although they will try to knock you down on price because of it.  That is why you get a couple of estimates to counter them in the negotiations.

I know, I know.

It's just hard not to turn back to them.

They've given us about $50k over the last few years.

They're awesome, and they're our fallback.
I'm glad you've got them in your life.  Having that sort of support behind you is one of the things which means that your little family of four will probably never completely fall off the grid into homelessness, or social housing, or long-term grinding poverty.  But it's time for you to step up and be the same awesomeness that you see in your parents.  They obviously love you, support you, and want you to do well, and you have everything you need (good job, wife and two healthy children) to make them proud of you too.

I think the way you keep coming back after all the facepunches you are getting here is admirable - many people would have long disappeared.  That too speaks well for your resilience and desire to change.

I just hope that you are not spending all your time on this thread and either neglecting your earning capacity (now is not the moment to jeopardise that!) or using posting here as a substitute for action. 

What is the next thing you are doing today to save money?  Have you cancelled those unnecessary subscriptions yet?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 09, 2017, 02:31:44 PM

That sounds good.

Sept 2017 is far away though.

How do I make it happen faster?

You START here. Once you have DONE THIS you tackle your grocery spending, your sense of entitlement and all of the other problems you have. You have been given so many ideas and options and things to consider doing at this point, you have to stop making excuses and asking for MORE INFORMATION and DO THE WORK - that is how you make it happen faster.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 09, 2017, 02:32:48 PM
I thought we were past the "running back to mummy and daddy for money" thing?

Find a better realtor.  One that specialises in selling rentals, if there is such a thing.  The one you asked just wants easy money for no effort, which is what selling houses in perfect condition is for her.

Yes, the roof will put off some people.  It won't put off a serious investor, although they will try to knock you down on price because of it.  That is why you get a couple of estimates to counter them in the negotiations.

I know, I know.

It's just hard not to turn back to them.

They've given us about $50k over the last few years.

They're awesome, and they're our fallback.

You don't have a problem with this? You are a grown adult with your own children. The bank of Mommy and Daddy should be CLOSED.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 02:39:52 PM

That sounds good.

Sept 2017 is far away though.

How do I make it happen faster?

You START here. Once you have DONE THIS you tackle your grocery spending, your sense of entitlement and all of the other problems you have. You have been given so many ideas and options and things to consider doing at this point, you have to stop making excuses and asking for MORE INFORMATION and DO THE WORK - that is how you make it happen faster.

What sense of entitlement?

Can you point to a specific thing so I know what you're speaking of.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 09, 2017, 02:39:57 PM
My parents don't say No and I couldnt imagine saying No back to them.

You have to stop asking.  This is on you now.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 09, 2017, 02:41:04 PM
My parents could pay for the roof if we want.

We did talk to a realtor and she said that the roof not being finished will drive buyers away.

She said that even the way a picture is angled for their house listing online affects open house visits.

So a bad roof in a picture is going to cut our potential by a lot.

I'm starting to realize that our differences in the other thread are likely due to your parents subsidizing your lifestyle well into your adult life. Nothing wrong with that, but I guess it would change your outlook on whether or not you took care of them when they retired regardless of their choices.

Possibly.

My parents don't say No and I couldnt imagine saying No back to them.

They're the kindest, most amazing people i've ever met and I'm so fortunate to have been birthed by them.

Your parents not being able to say no is the reason you're in the mess you're in :)  Still think they're the greatest?

Now, if they're super rich (billionaires), then just ignore this thread, leave us alone, and let them bail you out over and over again for the rest of your life and then burn through your inexhaustible inheritance.

If they're not super rich, then guess what, you're going to have to say no to them when they're old and need your help and you've burnt through all their money.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 02:43:36 PM


You don't have a problem with this? You are a grown adult with your own children. The bank of Mommy and Daddy should be CLOSED.

I'm honestly trying to figure out why its a problem.

Whats the problem with parents helping their kids?

Even when they're an adult, whats the harm?

I mean, do you feel bad that Donald Trump's kids get money from their dad? Or just non-billionaire parents?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 02:45:30 PM


Your parents not being able to say no is the reason you're in the mess you're in :)  Still think they're the greatest?

Now, if they're super rich (billionaires), then just ignore this thread, leave us alone, and let them bail you out over and over again for the rest of your life and then burn through your inexhaustible inheritance.

If they're not super rich, then guess what, you're going to have to say no to them when they're old and need your help and you've burnt through all their money.

Of course I read this *after* I post that last item haha.

They're not billionaires... But I don't think theyre going to have any money problems in retirement, I'll put it that way.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Juslookin on January 09, 2017, 02:45:50 PM
ok....I'm actually new here (but not new to 'stacheing). I've followed this post long enough.

I hate to say this...but here is what you need to do.

1. Sell EVERYTHING luxury in your house. That huge tv. Those couches. Any video game systems. Everything goes except for your beds, cooking supplies, work-related equipment, some toys for the kids, and a few basics for working out.

Won't work, unfortunately.

We wouldn't be able to sell them for much. Definitely not even close to what we bought them for. And they're still financed.

Quote
2. Sell one of your properties

Agreed.

Just need to get a roof on it.

Quote
4. WTF are you eating organics? What are you thinking? SERIOUSLY.

I dont think we eat any organics?

Quote
6. I sure hope you aren't spending any money on entertainment. From now on, the library, free parks, free cultural events are your entertainment. Kids are bored you say? Get off your butt, and go play catch or make a snowman with them.

This is actually part of the reason why my wife says  it's hard to keep our grocery budget down.

She doesn't let them sit in front of the TV, they're always out doing things which creates 2 problems.

1) She packs snacks, but they run out and then are hungry.

2) She's gone all day doing activities with them, which gives no time (and energy) for making food.

Quote
7. Where in New York, are you living? You might be able to sell all vehicles, and take public transit instead.

We live in a suburb. Closest bus station is 3 miles away. We don't have Uber here. Work is 20 miles away.

Quote
8. Massage????? Really???? Get your wife to give you one. For reals.

Agreed.

Once upon a time I was a stay at home mom with two kids two years apart as well.  Your wife needs to stop driving the kids from here to there and stay home with them.  The kids would be happy, it's probably your wife who would be miserable, and I get that, but it's time to pull on the big girl panties and pull her weight.  Again, I say this as a previous stay at home Mom so I feel her pain.

Kids activities can easily consist of puzzles and games in the morning, make your own pizza lunch, reading books from the library, nap time and everybody grab a duster and let's dust the house.  If Mom is having fun at it the kids will too.  My four year old used to like nothing better then to clean the house with the fuzzy duster. 
Watch you tube cooking channels and teach the kids to cook while Mom is whipping up dinner.  Get the kids involved organizing the canned goods by alphabetical order or grouping colors together while Mom does a pantry inventory.  Tupperware and pots and pans were my toddlers favorite things to play with while I cooked in the kitchen.  Its time for the whole family to man up. 

And a little tip I found when I was at home, I joined a stay at home Mom group, it was free and we were all broke.  We met two nights a month at the local library and complained a little, laughed a little, shared some home made snacks and went back to our families happy and refreshed. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 09, 2017, 02:49:53 PM

That sounds good.

Sept 2017 is far away though.

How do I make it happen faster?

You START here. Once you have DONE THIS you tackle your grocery spending, your sense of entitlement and all of the other problems you have. You have been given so many ideas and options and things to consider doing at this point, you have to stop making excuses and asking for MORE INFORMATION and DO THE WORK - that is how you make it happen faster.

What sense of entitlement?

Can you point to a specific thing so I know what you're speaking of.

Your response that the IRS is scamming you. Your multiple responses that your parents can pay off your debt, pay for your roof, that you are just getting your inheritance early. Buying furniture and Tv's and such on credit. You have been living beyond your means because you have felt that you deserve/need/want these things. it is an attitude of entitlement. Most of the excuses you have come up with for why you can't do something, it sounds like it is coming from someone who still feels like they are entitled to these things, not someone who is one breath away from homelessness.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 09, 2017, 02:52:20 PM
That sounds good.

Sept 2017 is far away though.

How do I make it happen faster?

Disclaimer: facepunch about to hit you hard. If you don't want another one of those stop reading right now.

How can you make it happen faster? By rubbing a magic bottle and asking the genie for a unicorn that poops gold.

Or, if you don't happen to have a genie around (not many people do) you can do what's already been said over and over and over (and over) in this thread: man up, use your brain, stop wasting money on worthless overpriced fat-people food, cut cable and the massages, don't go running back to mommy & daddy to solve your problems, and be the adult you're supposed to be at your age. Seriously - you have a wife and two kids. You're not 15 anymore, you're 30. If you think September 2017 is far away you should think about readjusting your expectations. Life is not a pony ride - it took you years to dig that 100k debt hole that you got yourself into (and that you only have yourself to blame), and it'll take many more years to dig yourself out again. September 2017 is pretty much right around the corner, it's like the day after tomorrow.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 09, 2017, 02:56:10 PM


You don't have a problem with this? You are a grown adult with your own children. The bank of Mommy and Daddy should be CLOSED.

I'm honestly trying to figure out why its a problem.

Whats the problem with parents helping their kids?

Even when they're an adult, whats the harm?

I mean, do you feel bad that Donald Trump's kids get money from their dad? Or just non-billionaire parents?


Beatles, you'd probably better start ducking, as I predict a number of face punches (from others) are on their way.  I'll say it nicely.  Honey, thinking like this is one reason you are in big trouble now.  You are an adult, and adults need to stand on their own two feet. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ReadySetMillionaire on January 09, 2017, 02:56:52 PM
What sense of entitlement?

Can you point to a specific thing so I know what you're speaking of.

I know I keep playing ping pong with our other thread here, but I'll bite at this because I think you are again missing the implied points by posters here.

You are entitled in the sense that your actions show that you think you deserve a certain standard of living. Jumbo television, financed furniture, having cable TV, financed car, having all this credit card debt, having back-taxes owed to the IRS, getting monthly massages, etc.  Those are all actions that say, "I am entitled to this standard of living, regardless of whether or not I currently have the money to afford this standard of living."

The cherry on top for a lot of posters here is you even considering taking money from your parents to pay your IRS back-taxes or fix the roof. You are 30 and seem to make a healthy gross income. Taking money from your parents doesn't necessarily rub me the wrong way, but I know a lot of people on here are thinking, "Buck up and pay your own bills--you are affecting your parents' retirement whether you know it or not."

To flesh this out a little bit: say your parents gave you $25,000 to fix this roof and to make a dent in your back-taxes.  While that might be $25k now, if they had kept it and invested it for 15 years, that same amount of money would be worth $68,000. Add up continued borrowing and we are talking about serious dents in their cash flow, regardless of how much they might have in reserve.

Again, this is all implied knowledge for the posters on this forum--they know this stuff already and assume you are picking it up too. I get the sense that you are not, and that's fine considering you seem to be at the beginning of your journey here.

But that is why these harsh recommendations are called "face punches." This is this community's way of saying "wake the hell up."
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 09, 2017, 02:57:13 PM
What sense of entitlement?
Can you point to a specific thing so I know what you're speaking of.
I'm not the one you asked - but I think it's obvious to most of the people in this thread that for some reason you feel entitled to the money your parents earned. The attitude seems to be: "They don't need it and it's gonna be mine as soon as they die anyway, I may as well use it now instead of being self-sufficient - but I'm not willing to be accountable to them for how I spend their money."  I really wonder if you'd be comfortable telling your parents directly that you've decided you ought to be able to use their money now, since they don't need it.

You feel entitled to fancy tv's, stereo systems, etc, even though you haven't earned them. You bought them with money you don't have - with money you already spent on other things.

You seem to feel entitled to take low or no cost loans from other tax payers, and are outraged that the IRS isn't giving you a reasonable interest rate - as if they are a bank you are taking a loan from, instead of understanding that not paying them is a crime.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 09, 2017, 02:57:24 PM


Your parents not being able to say no is the reason you're in the mess you're in :)  Still think they're the greatest?

Now, if they're super rich (billionaires), then just ignore this thread, leave us alone, and let them bail you out over and over again for the rest of your life and then burn through your inexhaustible inheritance.

If they're not super rich, then guess what, you're going to have to say no to them when they're old and need your help and you've burnt through all their money.

Of course I read this *after* I post that last item haha.

They're not billionaires... But I don't think theyre going to have any money problems in retirement, I'll put it that way.

Ok, good for them.  But if you don't learn how to do life on your own now, then when they're gone, you'll blow through what's left of their money and you'll be screwed in your old age. 

You could ask them to bail you out but then you'll just go into debt again (or have you already forgotten how that already happened?)  You need to exercise your frugality muscles now and it needs to hurt a little so that it won't happen again.

And on the "sept 2017 is too far away" comment. .... duuuuude.  That is exactly your problem.  You want everything and you want it NOW!  Good things take time. 

Sell everything, even for pennies on the dollar and sit on the floor and sleep with your mattress on the floor if you want it to go faster.  Cutting all future spending will make it go faster.  Your grocery budget from now on is $400/month and then it'll be faster.  Her example was just for selling the car and not buying lunch.  Everything else you do (including selling the rental) speeds the whole process up.

But mostly, get over the idea that just because you want something you get it now.  That's what is meant by entitlement.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 09, 2017, 03:01:44 PM
I've actually tried paying them back for stuff in the post.

Once in a while they'll accept it, but most of the time they say "No, no" and hand it back.

Or they'll take the check and then never cash it.

Here's an idea.

If you do let them bail you out this one last time by fronting the money for the roof repair, take the equivalent amount from the proceeds of the sale and start a 529 investment account for your kids.  If the roof is $5K, set up two accounts, for $2500 each.

Then when you sell the house, tell your mom and dad, "I know you won't take this money back, because you never cash the checks I write to pay you back.  So I put the money in savings for college for the kids." 

This will have two effects:  it will make THEM see that you are taking financial responsibility for your future, and it will make YOU see that you are taking financial responsibility for your future.

A third (bonus) effect is that you will not have access to that money from the sale, so the effect of the loan on your personal financial situation will be zero.  But 15 years from now, your kids will reap the rewards.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 09, 2017, 03:08:28 PM
I've actually tried paying them back for stuff in the post.

Once in a while they'll accept it, but most of the time they say "No, no" and hand it back.

Or they'll take the check and then never cash it.

Here's an idea.

If you do let them bail you out this one last time by fronting the money for the roof repair, take the equivalent amount from the proceeds of the sale and start a 529 investment account for your kids.  If the roof is $5K, set up two accounts, for $2500 each.

Then when you sell the house, tell your mom and dad, "I know you won't take this money back, because you never cash the checks I write to pay you back.  So I put the money in savings for college for the kids." 

This will have two effects:  it will make THEM see that you are taking financial responsibility for your future, and it will make YOU see that you are taking financial responsibility for your future.

A third (bonus) effect is that you will not have access to that money from the sale, so the effect of the loan on your personal financial situation will be zero.  But 15 years from now, your kids will reap the rewards.


I like it.  I could go with this.  Good compromise.  So, did you cut those monthly bills yet? The massage, cameras, and cable?  Netflix is seriously awesome.  You won't miss cable, really.  The kids really really won't miss cable, I promise.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 09, 2017, 03:14:50 PM


You don't have a problem with this? You are a grown adult with your own children. The bank of Mommy and Daddy should be CLOSED.

I'm honestly trying to figure out why its a problem.

Whats the problem with parents helping their kids?

Even when they're an adult, whats the harm?


It harms both yourself and your parent.  Yourself, because no one is inclined to change until the pain of staying the same exceeds the pain of change.  They are enabling your poor financial habits in adulthood, thus reducing the pain.  But you need that pain in order to change sooner rather than later, and later might be too late.  Eventually they won't be able to help you anymore.  And this is how it hurts your parents; they will not share their financial issues with you, probably ever. You honestly cannot know if helping you out of your own messes is harming their retirement.  Even they might not know that if this is true, until it happens.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 09, 2017, 03:17:25 PM
I'm honestly trying to figure out why its a problem.

Whats the problem with parents helping their kids?

Even when they're an adult, whats the harm?

I mean, do you feel bad that Donald Trump's kids get money from their dad? Or just non-billionaire parents?

The problem is precisely that: they don't get anything done without their parents' help. Have you ever stopped to think why "daddies daughter" is not necessarily a positive description of a young woman? You probably don't know this, but the Germans use "Beruf: Sohn" which translates to "Profession: son" to mock entitled spoiled young adult brats whose only achievement in live is to have been born. Look at it this way: your kids will never have a proper role model. All they will see is daddy mooching off of his parents while mommy is spending her time binge shopping for useless crap. Take an educated guess how your kids will turn out. Is that the role model you want to be for them?

The problem is that by helping their kids over and over again the parents are enabling them to fail. The harm is that the "kids" will be 50 or 60 at some point and need another bailout because oh gosh darnit that new TV set was so important, and it now finally matches the new couch that simply had to be purchased after the carpet had to be replaced in that one room because, you know, the home makeover would not have been complete without.

See the problem? If not then I'm afraid you're a lost cause. If so, and I really hope you do see the problem, there's still hope for you ;-)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 03:17:35 PM
Here is what i've done

* Signed up for Mint and linked my checking account.  This has allowed me to categorize my spending and see what's happening.

* Downloaded the spreadsheet that MDM recommended and plugged in all my credit cards and interest rates.

* Canceled massage membership (I have 30 days to use all my unused massages, which sucks).

* Put the dog up for sale on Craigslist.

* Stopped buying co-workers lunch.

* Creating a food budget. Thinking $100 per week for grocery store and $25 per week for eating out?


(the dog thing is a joke)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 03:18:25 PM

That sounds good.

Sept 2017 is far away though.

How do I make it happen faster?

You START here. Once you have DONE THIS you tackle your grocery spending, your sense of entitlement and all of the other problems you have. You have been given so many ideas and options and things to consider doing at this point, you have to stop making excuses and asking for MORE INFORMATION and DO THE WORK - that is how you make it happen faster.

What sense of entitlement?

Can you point to a specific thing so I know what you're speaking of.

Your response that the IRS is scamming you. Your multiple responses that your parents can pay off your debt, pay for your roof, that you are just getting your inheritance early. Buying furniture and Tv's and such on credit. You have been living beyond your means because you have felt that you deserve/need/want these things. it is an attitude of entitlement. Most of the excuses you have come up with for why you can't do something, it sounds like it is coming from someone who still feels like they are entitled to these things, not someone who is one breath away from homelessness.

Ok.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 03:19:39 PM
I'm honestly trying to figure out why its a problem.

Whats the problem with parents helping their kids?

Even when they're an adult, whats the harm?

I mean, do you feel bad that Donald Trump's kids get money from their dad? Or just non-billionaire parents?

The problem is precisely that: they don't get anything done without their parents' help. Have you ever stopped to think why "daddies daughter" is not necessarily a positive description of a young woman? You probably don't know this, but the Germans use "Beruf: Sohn" which translates to "Profession: son" to mock entitled spoiled young adult brats whose only achievement in live is to have been born. Look at it this way: your kids will never have a proper role model. All they will see is daddy mooching off of his parents while mommy is spending her time binge shopping for useless crap. Take an educated guess how your kids will turn out. Is that the role model you want to be for them?

The problem is that by helping their kids over and over again their're enabling them to fail. The harm is that the "kids" will be 50 or 60 at some point and ask for more money from their parents, because oh gosh darnit that new TV set was so important, and it matches the new couch that they got after they had the replace the carpet in that one room because, you know, the home makeover would not have been complete without.

See the problem? If not then I'm afraid you're a lost cause. If so, and I really hope you do see the problem, there's still hope for you ;-)

Role model part hit home.

Good point.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 09, 2017, 03:23:14 PM
Here is what i've done

* Signed up for Mint and linked my checking account.  This has allowed me to categorize my spending and see what's happening.

* Downloaded the spreadsheet that MDM recommended and plugged in all my credit cards and interest rates.

* Canceled massage membership (I have 30 days to use all my unused massages, which sucks).

* Put the dog up for sale on Craigslist.

* Stopped buying co-workers lunch.

* Creating a food budget. Thinking $100 per week for grocery store and $25 per week for eating out?


(the dog thing is a joke)

The dog thing shocked me for half a second - good one, at least you haven't lost your sense of humor :-)
It's a good start, just one thing: no eating out. You can't afford it right now.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 09, 2017, 03:23:42 PM
Here is what i've done

* Signed up for Mint and linked my checking account.  This has allowed me to categorize my spending and see what's happening.

* Downloaded the spreadsheet that MDM recommended and plugged in all my credit cards and interest rates.

* Canceled massage membership (I have 30 days to use all my unused massages, which sucks).

* Put the dog up for sale on Craigslist.

* Stopped buying co-workers lunch.

* Creating a food budget. Thinking $100 per week for grocery store and $25 per week for eating out?

(the dog thing is a joke)

I'll admit, the dog thing got me. I was like "okay, I was wrong, this is a troll after all". I had a relieved chuckle at the end there!

Be sure you recognize though that only two of those are direct actions that will save you money directly- the massages and the lunches. Those are both huge and awesome things! And everything else on there is good to do, but it will not directly save you money unless you act on it. Just a reminder =)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 09, 2017, 03:25:10 PM
WOWOW You're even getting rid of the dog!  You're doing great Beatles!  Keep it up!!!  I approve your food budget. 

Now make sure you make a menu plan.  Again, I'll recommend pepperplate.com because it's super easy to use and FREE.  Include which day of the week you'll be eating out as part of the plan. 

Edited to add: oh the dog was a joke.  How big is the dog?  How much does he eat monthly?  Can we get rid of him too?  :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ReadySetMillionaire on January 09, 2017, 03:27:14 PM
I have to admit--OP is getting ripped for "instant gratification," yet many people on here seem to want him to change his entire lifestyle overnight.

He's made a reasonable amount of changes from what I've seen--signing up for Mint, realizing how much money is going to groceries, organizing his credit card debts, etc. That's a lot for someone in his situation.

Most of the responses are asking him to change his entire worldview towards finances, and that's going to take time. It's why I've recommended "Your Money or Your Life" in multiple posts to OP--he needs a worldview change, and that takes a lot of time and effort.

I think month-by-month goals would be awesome, and I would recommend a journal. This thread seems to have caught a lot of steam so I think you'd have a lot of interest/support.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Neustache on January 09, 2017, 03:39:20 PM
OP - I think your new food budget is good, and I can't say enough how helpful shopping at Aldi is in keeping those costs down.  We eat out once per week, and we only eat off the dollar menu (and we share fries, IF we get them at all) so you can start thinking that way, too.  We probably spend 40-50 a month eating out except for birthday dinners (we eat at a fancy restaurant on our birthdays...4 b-days per year).

If you start a journal, post it here.  I love stories where there is a bunch of room for improvement!




Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MDM on January 09, 2017, 03:40:59 PM
Sept 2017 is far away though.

How do I make it happen faster?
It will take as long as it takes.

Every day you wait to start is one day later that it will be done.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 09, 2017, 03:49:32 PM
I know all of this piling on might feel mean, but as you make those steps in the right direction this pack of wolves will also be your loudest cheerleaders. We all really want you to succeed and in our minds, you can easily do it. You have the right tools available and just need to change some perspective and habits. Stay with it!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 03:50:23 PM
WOWOW You're even getting rid of the dog!  You're doing great Beatles!  Keep it up!!!  I approve your food budget. 

Now make sure you make a menu plan.  Again, I'll recommend pepperplate.com because it's super easy to use and FREE.  Include which day of the week you'll be eating out as part of the plan. 

Edited to add: oh the dog was a joke.  How big is the dog?  How much does he eat monthly?  Can we get rid of him too?  :)

Lol shes a 50 pounder but i'm not getting rid of her! She's part of the family :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 03:54:24 PM
Here is what i've done

* Signed up for Mint and linked my checking account.  This has allowed me to categorize my spending and see what's happening.

* Downloaded the spreadsheet that MDM recommended and plugged in all my credit cards and interest rates.

* Canceled massage membership (I have 30 days to use all my unused massages, which sucks).

* Put the dog up for sale on Craigslist.

* Stopped buying co-workers lunch.

* Creating a food budget. Thinking $100 per week for grocery store and $25 per week for eating out?

(the dog thing is a joke)

I'll admit, the dog thing got me. I was like "okay, I was wrong, this is a troll after all". I had a relieved chuckle at the end there!

Be sure you recognize though that only two of those are direct actions that will save you money directly- the massages and the lunches. Those are both huge and awesome things! And everything else on there is good to do, but it will not directly save you money unless you act on it. Just a reminder =)

Haha.

If someone spent this much time trolling, they have serious issues.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 09, 2017, 03:57:15 PM
so wife is on board?  As the homemaker, she has the most control over all of this.  I mean you can do it in your off-time, but it'll be much easier if she does.  So have you talked about her role specifically going forward?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 03:58:37 PM
so wife is on board?  As the homemaker, she has the most control over all of this.  I mean you can do it in your off-time, but it'll be much easier if she does.  So have you talked about her role specifically going forward?

Yeah, she is.

I think her feelings are a little hurt over this thread, but probably for the better.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bee21 on January 09, 2017, 04:06:27 PM
Op, glad you are still here. You need these facepunches. It is a hard thing to take I know, i commend you for taking the hard blows. Sometimes, it us easier to be told off by an internet stranger than by someone you know. You got great advice so far.

Just out of curiosity, as a kid were you a little tyrant who thought mom and dad are put on earth to serve your every need? You sound like a nice peraon, but the others are right, there is a sense of entitlement there. What were you like as a teenager? Are your kids heading the same direction? Will you be able to bail them out when they are 30?

Well done on the progress so far. Have you called a cpa yet? Any progress on the irs? The outcome of those conversations will determine what you are doing with the rental and how quickly you can sell it.

If you hate shopping, you should be the family shopper. I bet you can get in and out of the shop on a friday night in half an hour if you have a shopping list, and you won't buy all the fancy prepackaged crap. Or definitely do the groceries online if wife can't help herself around the desert section.

Your wife has to step up as a homemaker. No excuses. Nobody should be buying frozen mac and cheese.  Make your own. Honestly, about 2 pans of mac and cheese should cost less than 3 to make, they are ready in 40 mins (incl 10 min prep, 20 min oven, 10min cleanup). Portion it and freeze And i don't want to hear the busy stay at home mother crap, we all know how hard it is. I work part time and cook from scratch, because we like to eat well. You should live on lobster and rib fillet on that food budget, not mac n cheese.

Actually, i have an exercise for the mrs. Do a pantry, freezer and fridge inventory and write the menus for the next 2-3 weeks. Post it here so that we can see you are both serious?

A different exercise for both of you. Do a home inventory. How much you spent on furnishing the brand new house and how much you can sell those for (it will be good for you to see that the sofa you financed at 23% is now worth x and you avtually paid y for it so far, and is still not paid off). It might just be the exercise that changes your mindset and sets you up for life. Will be hard and tedious, but totally worth it on the long term.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cowardly Toaster on January 09, 2017, 04:13:05 PM
Just a word of encouragement @Beatles. You're doing the right thing, coming here and taking charge of your financial situation. Follow through now that you know!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: 1967mama on January 09, 2017, 04:17:13 PM
Here's how I make a big pan of homemade macaroni and cheese for the family:

Boil 3 cups of macaroni noodles, drain

While the noodles are cooking, melt 1/4 c butter on medium heat in a pan and add 1/4 c of flour - stir and let bubble for 1 minute. Whisk in 2 cups of milk. Stir until thickened. Add 1-2 c grated cheese (any combination of cheese types works - use up the stuff that wasn't wrapped properly, etc) and  a little salt and pepper.  Pour sauce over drained noodles.  Voila! Almost as fast as Kraft dinner! No chemicals
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 09, 2017, 04:22:13 PM
Kudos to you, the beatles, for taking the punches and hanging in here.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 09, 2017, 04:30:01 PM
Here's an idea.

If you do let them bail you out this one last time by fronting the money for the roof repair, take the equivalent amount from the proceeds of the sale and start a 529 investment account for your kids.  If the roof is $5K, set up two accounts, for $2500 each.

Then when you sell the house, tell your mom and dad, "I know you won't take this money back, because you never cash the checks I write to pay you back.  So I put the money in savings for college for the kids." 

This will have two effects:  it will make THEM see that you are taking financial responsibility for your future, and it will make YOU see that you are taking financial responsibility for your future.

A third (bonus) effect is that you will not have access to that money from the sale, so the effect of the loan on your personal financial situation will be zero.  But 15 years from now, your kids will reap the rewards.
I might be in the minority here, but I don't like this plan. He's taking someone else's money (granted, it's money he feels entitled to, but it still is someone else's money).

He's investing it in upgrading his own property, then pocketing the entire return on investment for himself, and planning on pocketing the other person's initial investment as well instead of paying it back.

And then feeling altruistic about it.

That's not how any of this works.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bee21 on January 09, 2017, 04:42:39 PM
The thing is, op should be able to dig out of this without the economic outpatient care of the parents. He can do it. While digging out of the hole he will learn valuable skills in managing his finances, which will set him up for life. I am also against accepting any more help. He should be paying back those parental loans.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 09, 2017, 04:48:48 PM
Beatles - you don't need to put a roof on the rental to sell it - you just offer a credit for a new roof at closing.  Get a quote from a couple of roofers for the credit at closing.  Get the rental on the market now.  You are just procrastinating because, as I read it, you still have the idea that mommy and daddy can bail you out.  Stop it.  Sell the rental and payoff the property taxes and the IRS.

Nobody I know with kids is gone all day.  Kids can learn to sit on the floor in the kitchen and keep themselves busy while mom does what she needs to do.  I imagine that part of the problem with spending is the daily outings.

No - you offer a credit on closing for the roof repair.  Most people will be thrilled with that because they can choose the person that repairs the roof.  But you've been told this by many here and you are still questioning. 

Do you think it'll be harder to sell without the roof?

No - you offer a credit on closing for the roof repair.  Most people will be thrilled with that because they can choose the person that repairs the roof.  But you've been told this by many here and you are still questioning.  Then they can trust the new roof.  It is a win-win since you cannot afford to replace it before closing anyway.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marion10 on January 09, 2017, 05:28:19 PM
The problem with using money from your parents to meet day to day expenses is someday your parents will not be around- and then what? Maybe they are going to leave you millions of dollars so it won't be a problem. If they are going to give you cash- wouldn't t be better if you were investing it for your retirement or for kids' college?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 05:39:20 PM
Op, glad you are still here. You need these facepunches. It is a hard thing to take I know, i commend you for taking the hard blows. Sometimes, it us easier to be told off by an internet stranger than by someone you know. You got great advice so far.

Just out of curiosity, as a kid were you a little tyrant who thought mom and dad are put on earth to serve your every need? You sound like a nice peraon, but the others are right, there is a sense of entitlement there. What were you like as a teenager? Are your kids heading the same direction? Will you be able to bail them out when they are 30?

Well done on the progress so far. Have you called a cpa yet? Any progress on the irs? The outcome of those conversations will determine what you are doing with the rental and how quickly you can sell it.

If you hate shopping, you should be the family shopper. I bet you can get in and out of the shop on a friday night in half an hour if you have a shopping list, and you won't buy all the fancy prepackaged crap. Or definitely do the groceries online if wife can't help herself around the desert section.

Your wife has to step up as a homemaker. No excuses. Nobody should be buying frozen mac and cheese.  Make your own. Honestly, about 2 pans of mac and cheese should cost less than 3 to make, they are ready in 40 mins (incl 10 min prep, 20 min oven, 10min cleanup). Portion it and freeze And i don't want to hear the busy stay at home mother crap, we all know how hard it is. I work part time and cook from scratch, because we like to eat well. You should live on lobster and rib fillet on that food budget, not mac n cheese.

Actually, i have an exercise for the mrs. Do a pantry, freezer and fridge inventory and write the menus for the next 2-3 weeks. Post it here so that we can see you are both serious?

A different exercise for both of you. Do a home inventory. How much you spent on furnishing the brand new house and how much you can sell those for (it will be good for you to see that the sofa you financed at 23% is now worth x and you avtually paid y for it so far, and is still not paid off). It might just be the exercise that changes your mindset and sets you up for life. Will be hard and tedious, but totally worth it on the long term.

The sofa's are a sore subject.

They cost $2,500ish.

It's going to cost $7,000ish to pay them off.

AcceptanceNow ...
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 09, 2017, 05:57:33 PM
In that case maybe I take back what I said about selling them early. Maybe you should try and sell them for 2k and pay them off right away. Think about it.

By the way: sofas? as in plural? If so why would you need more than one? How many sofas can you sit on at the same time? Or has your ass become so big from all the pop and snacks that you need more than one sofa to fit on comfortably? (just kidding)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ChipmunkSavings on January 09, 2017, 06:09:28 PM
Since you're spending about 2000$ on food per month, I think it might be very drastic to cut down to 500 per month, a 75% difference. I'm wondering if you'll feel that it's way too tight and get discouraged. Perhaps aim to reduce by 30% this month? Then, you'll get encouraged by your success, and you can cut down even more in February. Baby steps :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 09, 2017, 06:12:11 PM
Beatles, that's great progress, congrats on sticking through the rough stuff today.  I'm glad you have such great, supportive parents.  So let me ask you: do you want to be in a position to be the same kind of parent for your kids?  To support them when money is tight or times get tough, or to help them pay for college or buy a house?  If so, what's your plan for that? 

Again, not intended to be mean.  Just an added incentive, as a lot of parents are willing to do things for the good of their kids, even if they won't do it for themselves.

I should know - my Granny, Granddad, Grandpa, and stepdad all quit smoking when I was a kid, because I was very allergic to cigarette smoke.  If they could kick 30-year-long addictions for the love of a grandchild, I know you've got this.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 09, 2017, 06:57:10 PM
Our favorite chikdhoood mac and cheese recipe was even simpler. If I were to make it now I would choose whole wheat elbow noodles, but to each their own.
1 pound noodles
1 pound sour cream
1 pound cottage cheese
1 pound sharp grated cheddar

Cook noodles, throw everything together and mix over low heat until cheese is melted. Optionally put in oven for ten minutes or so to get the tops all crispy and bubbly. Yum!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Allie on January 09, 2017, 07:32:56 PM
Tell your wife that we all had a learning curve!  I used to chop up a veggie, like an onion, for a recipe and then, if I didn't need all of it, I'd throw the rest away.  Because I didn't realize I could put it in a Tupperware and use it for another recipe later.  Seriously. 

On the subject of your parents, even if they decide to give you all the money in their accounts tomorrow, would premade mac and cheese, Dave and busters, and over priced couches (seriously, they were probably like $1,000 wholesale at most) really be what you wanted to spend it on?!?  Show their hard work more respect than that!  Set your kids up with college accounts, do good in your community, have an amazing experience, learn a new skill.  There are so many other things in this world that are better.  Don't use their legacy to buy crap and faux status. 

Sorry, for the rant.  You can do better.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Dagobert on January 09, 2017, 07:38:06 PM

That sounds good.

Sept 2017 is far away though.

How do I make it happen faster?

I was a bit worried for you reading this thread, but this is the attitude. Congrats on that. It's really cool to see the snowballeffect of reducing debt due to saving of interest/fee's added. And after all debt is gone it's even cooler to see your stache grow faster and faster due to the same compounded interest (but in your benefit, instead of against you).

Now to answer the question, how to make it go faster. Just reduces expenses everywhere! Doesn't really matter which category, just see of you can reduce it by 10%, 25% or even 50%. There should be a few category's you wont even notice the effect on your day to day life (except for the growing pile of money to throw at debt/invest later on).
Even a few small savings here and there adds up, and are hardly noticable.
Keep using Mint to see what you're spending on every category and what is excessive. We can make suggestions, but you should be the one to think of it. You know what you find important (just a bit of reducing expenses) and what not (reducing massively).
For instance, i like my television, so very anti-mustachian of me, i have i basic package for the (very old) tv. That's my splurge. To compensate i rarely eat out (maybe once a quarter). So i still save a good portion of my income.
The hardcore mustachians advice to cut the tv was not for me, but elimating the restaurants was easy because i dont care about that.

Make the same choice for yourself and make improvments every month reducing the things/expenses that doesn't make you/youre family happy. 

To quote MMM 'think how much hours you have to work to buy the thing you desire at that time, is that worth it' Especially given the fact that the little green workers (dollars) could be used to work for you (by reducing interest payed on debts, or later on, by generating income from investing'. 
 
The most important thing is, just start, reduce a bit of costs here, and some on an other category next month. It keeps improving / snowballing.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 08:24:12 PM
In that case maybe I take back what I said about selling them early. Maybe you should try and sell them for 2k and pay them off right away. Think about it.

By the way: sofas? as in plural? If so why would you need more than one? How many sofas can you sit on at the same time? Or has your ass become so big from all the pop and snacks that you need more than one sofa to fit on comfortably? (just kidding)

Lmao!

I laughed at that ass comment.

But seriously, you only have one sofa in your house? There's one for the living room, one for the sitting room, one for the basement, and we were thinking about one for the bedroom.

Maybe it's a local thing?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 09, 2017, 08:26:49 PM
In that case maybe I take back what I said about selling them early. Maybe you should try and sell them for 2k and pay them off right away. Think about it.

By the way: sofas? as in plural? If so why would you need more than one? How many sofas can you sit on at the same time? Or has your ass become so big from all the pop and snacks that you need more than one sofa to fit on comfortably? (just kidding)

Lmao!

I laughed at that ass comment.

But seriously, you only have one sofa in your house? There's one for the living room, one for the sitting room, one for the basement, and we were thinking about one for the bedroom.

Maybe it's a local thing?

Ah, no.  That's a rich-kid thing.  Stop buy crap that you can do without on credit.  You don't need 2 couches, much less 4.  And you don't need more than one tv, either, if that thought has already crossed your mind.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Physicsteacher on January 09, 2017, 08:38:51 PM
In that case maybe I take back what I said about selling them early. Maybe you should try and sell them for 2k and pay them off right away. Think about it.

By the way: sofas? as in plural? If so why would you need more than one? How many sofas can you sit on at the same time? Or has your ass become so big from all the pop and snacks that you need more than one sofa to fit on comfortably? (just kidding)

Lmao!

I laughed at that ass comment.

But seriously, you only have one sofa in your house? There's one for the living room, one for the sitting room, one for the basement, and we were thinking about one for the bedroom.

Maybe it's a local thing?

Ah, no.  That's a rich-kid thing.  Stop buy crap that you can do without on credit.  You don't need 2 couches, much less 4.  And you don't need more than one tv, either, if that thought has already crossed your mind.

Seconded. We have exactly one sofa, and it's a hand me down futon we got for free. We also don't have a sitting room or a basement that we feel the need to fill with expensive furniture. What's wrong with sitting on the bed in your bedroom?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Txtriathlete on January 09, 2017, 08:42:43 PM
In that case maybe I take back what I said about selling them early. Maybe you should try and sell them for 2k and pay them off right away. Think about it.

By the way: sofas? as in plural? If so why would you need more than one? How many sofas can you sit on at the same time? Or has your ass become so big from all the pop and snacks that you need more than one sofa to fit on comfortably? (just kidding)

Lmao!

I laughed at that ass comment.

But seriously, you only have one sofa in your house? There's one for the living room, one for the sitting room, one for the basement, and we were thinking about one for the bedroom.

Maybe it's a local thing?

Just tagging onto the last post.

What did you have for dinner tonight? "leftovers" or "freezer meal"? Have you packed lunch for tomorrow? What's for dinner tomorrow night? Leftovers or freezer food? What snacks has your wife prepared (ahead of time) for the babies for tomorrow?

What is your to-do list for tomorrow? (Hint - IRS Accountant, investment realtor(s), Craigslist ads for sofas, tvs and car).

We have one couch (but two tvs).
Title: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 09, 2017, 08:46:20 PM
We have a sofa in the living room, which we got for free, and a futon in the sun room, which we bought for $300 20 years ago. We also have two twin beds at right angles as banquettes in two places in the house. The mattresses were $100 each. They sit on $69 metal frames from Walmart. They are covered with inexpensive sofabed covers (you can get those for as little as $25). The pillows I made myself from fabric remnants. The down inserts were $2 at Goodwill.

We spent less than $2,500 furnishing our entire house, and, as I say, some of that money has been spread over 20 years. Our furniture came from thrift stores, the side of the road, and basements and attics of family and friends who weren't using it. It's all sturdy and built to last for several lifetimes. Our house looks nice. We had 40 people here for a New Year's party and no one refused to sit on our inexpensive furniture.

Frugality is a different way of looking at things. I think it gives us a bigger scope for our imagination than going into a store and buying a matched set of something. We have friends who bought a new house here and furnished it with entirely new furniture. It doesn't have much warmth or personality. I would not trade my furniture for theirs, even though theirs probably cost 20 times what ours did.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 09, 2017, 08:48:58 PM
We have a sofa in the living room, which we got for free, and a futon in the sun room, which we bought for $300 20 years ago. We also have two twin beds at right angles as banquettes in two places in the house.

I don't know this word.  Does this mean that the twin beds are used as some kind of sitting furniture, and not beds to sleep in?

EDIT: Yes! Google just confirmed it for me!  That's just awesome, and you just gave me an idea about how to reuse an old oak twin bedframe.  I'll add an oak backrest right down the middle, to make a double sided daybed bench.  And then I'll start calling it my "banquette" for the neighbors!  They already think I'm batty.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 09, 2017, 08:56:57 PM
Both.

This is the room as it normally looks:

(http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170110/d366056592c7de26fec983d711668452.jpg)

Here it is set up as a guest room:

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bee21 on January 09, 2017, 08:58:08 PM
I expensive leather sofa plus one rattan outside. Bought them with cash after we paid the house (450k) off. Before that, we had a stinky 17 year old sofa which had a fauna of its own.

Why do you need a sofa in tbe bedroom? Are you entertaining visitors there?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 09, 2017, 09:02:13 PM
In that case maybe I take back what I said about selling them early. Maybe you should try and sell them for 2k and pay them off right away. Think about it.

By the way: sofas? as in plural? If so why would you need more than one? How many sofas can you sit on at the same time? Or has your ass become so big from all the pop and snacks that you need more than one sofa to fit on comfortably? (just kidding)

Lmao!

I laughed at that ass comment.

But seriously, you only have one sofa in your house? There's one for the living room, one for the sitting room, one for the basement, and we were thinking about one for the bedroom.

Maybe it's a local thing?

Ah, no.  That's a rich-kid thing.  Stop buy crap that you can do without on credit.  You don't need 2 couches, much less 4.  And you don't need more than one tv, either, if that thought has already crossed your mind.

Im honestly surprised.

I thought everyone has multiple couches.

We also have 3 tv's. Living room, basement and bedroom.
Title: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 09, 2017, 09:08:27 PM
Maybe in the debt-ridden outside world. Not here. We have a very nice TV in the living room, but we lived for many years with  a bulky cube-shaped TV. We are also millionaires, and we did not inherit one cent of it. The way we live, so different from most people, is WHY we are rich. Really. Read "The Millionaire Next Door."
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: meandmyfamily on January 09, 2017, 09:12:02 PM
Wow!  1 couch and 1 TV in 2200 sq. feet and 6 people in our house.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 09, 2017, 09:19:05 PM
Lmao!

I laughed at that ass comment.

But seriously, you only have one sofa in your house? There's one for the living room, one for the sitting room, one for the basement, and we were thinking about one for the bedroom.

Maybe it's a local thing?
Definitely not a local thing. I live in Texas. Everything is bigger in Texas. Including people's ginormous asses :D And I don't even know what a sitting room is. I was thinking of another ass-size-related joke here but I think we're done with that ;-)

But to answer your question: of course we only have one couch. Why would we need more than one? And, more specifically, why would we ever need a sofa in our bedroom? We have a bed and two night stands in our bedroom - that's it. The couch (aka The One And Only) is in the living room together with a TV (also the only one, but a good one: 50" 4k SmartTV that we got for $400) and a coffee table. We do have a spare mattress for guests that we keep in the closet in the office and take out whenever necessary.

I think you need to sell two of those couches, the most expensive ones. And, since I'm afraid that you also have more than one of those as well, you need to sell all TVs except for one; you get to keep one, the cheapest one. And definitely stop thinking about getting another couch for christ's sake. No more spending money on anything except the bare necessities until you're completely out of debt.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Allie on January 09, 2017, 09:21:39 PM
Weird. 

Is your house huge? 

We have 2,200 sqft and have a single couch, a chair that matches the couch, a couple ottoman cube type upholstered things that can be pushed against the walls and have a pillow propped up for seating.  Plus a table and chairs, stools at a breakfast bar, an office chair, a set of entry way benches I made from a $10 Craigslist coffee table, and gliders in the kids rooms rounds out our seating.  Our single TV is 48" and resides in the living room. 

The kids never sit still, I rarely get to sit down during the day, and my husband works.  Right now, we are all home and no one is using a seat (I'm standing at the breakfast bar).  When the kids have friends over, they sit on the floor and when we have friends over, they mill around the open living space. 

Do you really use all of your couches and TVs?  How?  At this point, I'm asking out of genuine curiosity.  I've seen houses with sitting areas stated in the bedroom and always thought it was just for show.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 09, 2017, 09:32:31 PM
1899 Sq Ft. 1 couch- hand me down when my parents moved (it's a great couch though!). 1 TV- 42" we bought when we moved in together 5 years ago. Our coffee table is an old travel trunk- quite stylish. Completely free.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 09, 2017, 09:35:18 PM
In that case maybe I take back what I said about selling them early. Maybe you should try and sell them for 2k and pay them off right away. Think about it.

By the way: sofas? as in plural? If so why would you need more than one? How many sofas can you sit on at the same time? Or has your ass become so big from all the pop and snacks that you need more than one sofa to fit on comfortably? (just kidding)

Lmao!

I laughed at that ass comment.

But seriously, you only have one sofa in your house? There's one for the living room, one for the sitting room, one for the basement, and we were thinking about one for the bedroom.

Maybe it's a local thing?

Ah, no.  That's a rich-kid thing.  Stop buy crap that you can do without on credit.  You don't need 2 couches, much less 4.  And you don't need more than one tv, either, if that thought has already crossed your mind.

Im honestly surprised.

I thought everyone has multiple couches.

We also have 3 tv's. Living room, basement and bedroom.

Sell that house, and just about everything in it.  Move back into your rental home as soon as possible.  That house is too big for your family.  You can't afford to pay for the winter heat bill for the extra space.  It's obvious to most of us now that you grew up in a wealthy home, and never learned to adjust your lifestyle to fit your (obviously much lower) family resources.  If your parents insist on helping your family out of this mess, ask them to contribute to that new 529 plan.  You are going to have to learn, the hard way, how to be completely independent from old family money.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bee21 on January 09, 2017, 09:41:12 PM
http://www.livingonadime.com

I found this website very useful when i started to get my life in order about 8 years ago. I stopped reading them when the religious content became too much, but their advice about household management, housekeeping, budgeting, family friendly food and kids is extremely valuable. I highly recommend reading it. Especially for your wife.

Or check out lifeasmom.com. she also has a frugal food blog. This too is a bit too religious for me, but the homemaking advice is great.

And stop wasting your time discussing sofas. Have that chat with the cpa.make a list of things you can sell, take photos and post them on cl. Whatever. Use this momentum.

I am off now, i wasted too  much time online, thanks for the entertainment today folks. i have about 24 cupcakes to bake and decorate for the offsprings birthday.

Good luck op, seriously, get your shit together. I will pop back tomorrow to evaluate your menus 😈
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: oldladystache on January 09, 2017, 09:58:02 PM
Net worth over a million here.

As I look around my living room I see the couch and two chairs my friends gave me that they didn't want anymore. I also have a chair my parents gave me when they didn't need it anymore. My recliner I bought probably 30 years ago. It's getting pretty shabby and I may replace it in the next year or two.

Two lamps, one give to me by a friend, one by the local electric company in exchange for one I was given by a friend.

I must admit I have two TVs I bought 12 years ago, as well as an end table I paid $20 for at a rummage sale.

My dining table and chairs were given to me by neighbors.

My bed frame was left behind by tenants, but I bought the mattress.

Bedroom dresser is from my childhood bedroom (I'm 71)

Two desks. One from cleaning out a dead relative's house, the other I don't remember where I got it, but I've had it at least 15 years.

That's it. I'm sure all the furniture in my house cost less than 2 thousand dollars. Over the past 15 years. Call it $133 a year.




Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 09, 2017, 10:10:13 PM
I really desire a nice couch one day. One day... the infamous "one day" when we buy a nice house with double pane widows and central heat and insulation. :) Until then, we have one leather couch set with a couch, love seat (for the other room), and an arm chair (for the baby's room). One day I'll replace it all with a nice L-shaped sleeper sofa that will double as a place to stay for guests.

Point of reference: With the markets being up recently, we just crossed $1.5M.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cowardly Toaster on January 09, 2017, 10:22:32 PM
Here's another thought @Beatles. You might be tightening your belt, setting your jaw, for a few years of frugality, much like you might look forward to a prison sentence.

First of all, this can be a fun family adventure for you, the plunge into frugality. You'll be learning new skills, making your own fun, and coming together as a family.

Second, and this was difficult for my wife at first but now she is a mustache an hard charger: these changes you make for your lifestyle need to be permanent. Sure, you might loosen up a little bit when you come out the other side,  but the philosophy needs to stay.

Have you started your journal yet?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Allie on January 09, 2017, 10:39:50 PM
Oh yes!  Start a journal.

And.  When your wife does step up, jumps into being a homemaker, keeps the kids engaged, and lowers all of your costs, give her a big high five and lots of respect, because it's hard work.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: dreams_and_discoveries on January 10, 2017, 02:40:11 AM
I have two couches (3 seater and 2 seater) in my living room, it's a British thing, we don't tend to have chairs.

However they were bought with cash 12 years ago, and I plan to keep them for at least another 12 years.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marty998 on January 10, 2017, 02:56:57 AM
Having just chewed through all 300+ posts I would like to express how incredibly impressed I am with the forum for all of the advice, suggestions and patience displayed.

Thread should be stickied for all the goodness. It basically covers absolutely everything one needs to know to get their shit together.

Beatles man - which one do you resemble? John, Ringo, George or Paul? I feel like it would be easier to interact with you if you had a name that we can identify you as :)

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: mustachepungoeshere on January 10, 2017, 02:59:41 AM
Having just chewed through all 300+ posts I would like to express how incredibly impressed I am with the forum for all of the advice, suggestions and patience displayed.

Thread should be stickied for all the goodness. It basically covers absolutely everything one needs to know to get their shit together.

Beatles man - which one do you resemble? John, Ringo, George or Paul? I feel like it would be easier to interact with you if you had a name that we can identify you as :)

Well...
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 10, 2017, 03:32:52 AM
Beatles -- one of the other posters nailed it. Your furniture is not a regional thing, it's a rich-people-thing.  If you look at all the regulars on the forum, we usually (1) live in modest housing, and (2) drive modest vehicles.  This is a conscious decision we are making that our financial independence is worth more than a new couch or new car.  We are buying our freedom instead of stuff. 

The 4 of us live in a 2200 square foot house which we are in the process of gutting and renovating ourselves.  We are living in it while we do this. You might be horrified if I posted pictures.  If you didn't know better you might think we were destitute, when in fact we are doing great and getting ready to FIRE.  (And the house will be beautiful when we are done). We have one old couch and no TV. We ditched TV more than 10 years ago, and we are SO MUCH HAPPIER.  We have Netflix and watch a movie on our laptop once a week or so.  We feel like we have luxury.  Humans don't need much, and to a large extent, the less we have the happier we are. 

PS -- you are doing great Beatles.  You don't need to make all the changes at once. One step at a time, focus on the financial wins, and it will snowball.  I am sorry your wife is hurt by all this. Is there some way she can connect with other frugal SAHMs in your area?  Having local friends on the same wavelength would help both of you.

   
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 10, 2017, 04:10:36 AM
On couches (yes, there is a thread for everything  here):
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/how-much-did-you-pay-for-your-couch-(and-how-long-have-you-had-it)/

I have two couches, but I got both of them for free (one from a co-worker whose new wife didn't like his bachelor couch, and one from a parent who was replacing a perfectly good one).

In fact, come to think of it, the only items I've paid for in my four-bedroom house are a queen bedstead (bought at a yard sale for $100), a king headboard (bought at a consignment store when I got married a few years ago), and some particle-board bookshelves that I bought in my college days (20-30 years ago).  Everything else I've gotten for free in one way or another. 

Do not ever, ever, ever buy new furniture.  In some ways it's even worse than buying a new car at a dealership--the car may take a 20% hit when you drive it off the lot, but furniture takes a much, much larger hit--you will never be able to sell it for anything like what you bought it for. 

We could afford to re-furnish our house with new furniture, today, in cash, if we wanted to.  The key is not wanting to. 

One way I like to look at it is through Buddhism's concept of the Four Noble Truths--which, even if you're not Buddhist in particular (I'm not) or religious in general (I am), have a lot of wisdom to share.  Basically, it runs like this:

1.  Life is suffering.
2.  Suffering arises from attachment/craving.
3.  Suffering can be ended by putting an end to attachment/craving.
4.  The way to end attachment/craving is through the "Eightfold Path":  restraining oneself, cultivating discipline, practicing mindfulness.

MMM has talked about stoicism to describe Mustachianism, but I've always thought of it as an expression of the Four Noble Truths:

1.  You are a Consumer Sucka, imprisoned to your job.
2.  You are a Consumer Sucka because you are attached to the way the world wants you to live.
3.  You can stop being a Consumer Sucka  and liberate yourself from your job through ending attachment to the way the world wants you to live, and ending your own cravings for consumer crap.
4.  The way to end attachment/craving is through the MMM way:  restraining oneself, cultivating discipline, practicing mindfulness.

More on the Four Noble Truths:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Noble_Truths

Keep going!  We are all cheering you on!



(edited for syntax and grammar)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 10, 2017, 04:59:59 AM
Well said, Zoot.  Very nice. 

Beatles -- I wanted to say one other thing. Please don't get the sense we are preaching down at you.  Many of us have been in your situation, or even worse.  I did not get really serious about frugality until I was 35.  I had more debt than you have.  (Educational loans and mortgage).  We made less money than you are making now.  With some mindset changes, and reducing our desire for stuff, we turned it around.  If we (and others on the forum) can do it, you can do it too.

You may decide to keep your couches, because they will not sell for much.  That's fine.  In a few years, when your frugality muscles are bulging and your bank accounts are fat, you will probably still be happily using that same furniture.  And you probably won't want new stuff.  But if you do, you'll find something for free or cheap that thrills you.     
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: nessness on January 10, 2017, 05:09:06 AM
I see we've moved on to sofas, but I want to go back to groceries for a minute. A lot of the advice basically amounts to "tell your wife to buck up", which I don't think is entirely helpful. First, you're the one posting here, not her. And second, kids that age are exhausting, and she may not be up for that many changes that fast.

So I woild urge you to instead ask yourself, "how can I personally contribute to reducing our food bill?"

A couple suggestions:
1. One evening a week, sit down together and make a grocery list. Then stop on the way home from work the next day to buy the groceries. Added benefit: discussing the list together will help keep you guys accountable.
2. Spend a couple hours on the weekend making freezer meals and prepping healthy snacks (fruit, etc.) and putting them in pre-portioned containers so your wife can just grab them during the week. Or take the kids for a couple hours while she does these things - ask her what she would prefer.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 10, 2017, 05:16:13 AM
Oh yes!  Start a journal.

And.  When your wife does step up, jumps into being a homemaker, keeps the kids engaged, and lowers all of your costs, give her a big high five and lots of respect, because it's hard work.

Yes!  Your wife's job in this new enterprise is going to be harder than yours.  She will have a steep learning curve, like most of us did at first.  Big respect is due, plus all the support you can muster. 

As I mentioned above, finding other families on the same wavelength in your area will help both of you. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ChipmunkSavings on January 10, 2017, 05:48:00 AM
Definitely a rich people thing. With a huge house, you get more rooms that you have to fill up with stuff. We currently have a set of couches (two seater + three seater) in the living room with our main TV, as well as one couch in the basement (close to the treadmill) with our smaller TV. However, all couches were hand-me-downs from family, and our second TV was less than 200$.

I would never want to have a TV in my bedroom, no matter the financials of it. That's why you have a living room.

You could always calculate your % of TV usage per room. If it's anything like my boyfriend's parents (who did have a big house), the living room got 90% of the TV usage, the sitting room was about 5%, and the rest was 5%.

I don't remember where I've seen it, but some people have calculated heat map based on average usage of the different parts of our homes. I can't find it, but I remember it showed that the kitchen, bathroom, living room and bedroom got the most usage. The other rooms (such as sitting room) were almost non-existant in the usage.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 10, 2017, 05:50:40 AM
Agree with other posters re your wife and the SAHM job (and it is a job) - she may never have learned how to cook from scratch.  This is nothing new, I wasn't interested in learning to cook and basically taught myself once I needed to. My DD wasn't interested and has now taught herself, with the occasional phone call to me for help.  Does your MIL cook?  Does your wife have a good relationship with her?     

In some ways it is easier now, with Youtube and online recipes and home-making blogs.  I did have the benefit of growing up with a mother who cooked, and in a time when takeout was not common (um, past uncommon, rare and exotic).  But being able to cook is a basic life skill, you both need to be able to cook.  Apart from the savings, the taste (and nutrition) is sooo much better.

In the meantime, you have a full freezer, so that may help the transition be a bit easier.  Or you may find it is full of not-really-food, which should be an eyeopener as to where your food money has gone.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 10, 2017, 06:06:33 AM
And furniture, I am comfortably retired, and everything in my house is either from family, bought at yard sales, from the return room at Ikea, or bought 1/2 price (lawn furniture in September, living room couch and chair and TV on Boxing Day after waiting 5 months to buy them (lawn furniture is fine inside too)).  And my friends think my house is very nicely furnished.  Even my computer is a refurbished office desktop, and my china (Noritake, so nice) was bought at auction.  It gets to be a game, maximum return for minimum financial investment, maximum ingenuity.

This is a general comment, not aimed just at you: Big houses and families - everyone can go someplace else and family members end up isolated from each other.  TV where people eat - they watch TV during dinner instead of talking with each other = more social isolation, poorer social skills.   No-one needs a big house, they need the right size house - small enough that they feel like a family, big enough that they are not always irritating each other.  A big house needs more maintenance, both financially (e.g. big fancy roofline = lots of money when it needs re-shingling) and time (with a big house you and your wife will spend a lot of time cleaning, or have to hire a cleaning service, neither of which is good).  And square feet is not everything, a smaller well-laid out house is nicer than a larger poorly laid out house.  Which brings me back to you two - can your wife keep an eye on the kids while they play safely and still do cooking/whatever?  If not, that implies bad house design for your family situation - it might be fine for a family with teenagers.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cranky on January 10, 2017, 06:21:00 AM
In that case maybe I take back what I said about selling them early. Maybe you should try and sell them for 2k and pay them off right away. Think about it.

By the way: sofas? as in plural? If so why would you need more than one? How many sofas can you sit on at the same time? Or has your ass become so big from all the pop and snacks that you need more than one sofa to fit on comfortably? (just kidding)

Lmao!

I laughed at that ass comment.

But seriously, you only have one sofa in your house? There's one for the living room, one for the sitting room, one for the basement, and we were thinking about one for the bedroom.

Maybe it's a local thing?

What? Really?  I mean, you obviously have a much bigger house than mine, but we have *1* sofa, in the living room. We splurged a couple of years ago and bought it brand new from IKEA (and paid cash) as well as a matching chaise lounge. I do have a futon in the spare room, which is sofa-like. I bought it at the ReStore, and one of my kids slept on it for years, and eventually it ended up in the spare room where it is both the guest bed as needed and a sofa when I retreat back there because I don't want to watch sports in the living room.

Helpful hint - small children will be happy to watch tv in your living room with a pile of pillows and some blankets. You really only needed the sofa cushions, not the sofa itself. ;-)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Neustache on January 10, 2017, 06:26:03 AM
We have a 2000 square foot house and we have three sofa type pieces:

Sitting room (where our computer is, no TV) chaise lounge given to us last year. It's probably 15 years old.
Family room/TV room - we were really going to buy a new couch....then my MIL gave us her awesome, 10 year old couch. 
Basement - my husband has a sentimental attachment to the couch his parents owned in the 70's/80's.  We received from them and it's moved with us two times. 


We aren't millionaires...yet.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 10, 2017, 06:41:46 AM
Ok, so now it sounds like you have a mansion.  Why do you need a TV in your basement with such little kids?  Growing up we had a TV in the basement, but we were older by that point and we played video games down there.  Looking back we didn't need it though, we could have played video games on the TV in the living room. 

Why do you need three TVs with only 2 adults?  I just don't get it.  Don't you like each other?  Don't you like to hang out TOGETHER?

Ok, so since you live in a MANSION, or more probably a McMansion, I bet it would rent for a lot more than your rental.  Move to the rental, and rent out your ginormous house. 

And heads up to your wife, having a smaller house is very beneficial with kids: less space to clean, and easier to keep an eye on them while she's in the kitchen.

Doesn't your wife want to create her own profile name and come on here and talk with us directly?  We're fun!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 10, 2017, 07:43:23 AM
In that case maybe I take back what I said about selling them early. Maybe you should try and sell them for 2k and pay them off right away. Think about it.

By the way: sofas? as in plural? If so why would you need more than one? How many sofas can you sit on at the same time? Or has your ass become so big from all the pop and snacks that you need more than one sofa to fit on comfortably? (just kidding)

Lmao!

I laughed at that ass comment.

But seriously, you only have one sofa in your house? There's one for the living room, one for the sitting room, one for the basement, and we were thinking about one for the bedroom.

Maybe it's a local thing?

Yes - I have two in my vacation home and two in my regular home.  But my NW is over $4M, and our annual income is over 5 times yours. I paid cash for all four of them.  And NONE OF THEM COST $1000 EACH.  I'm wondering what is wrong with you when you are still laughing about this?  You are freely admitting that paying for these will cost you more than 10% of what you earn in a year.  Do you see how absolutely ridiculous that is? 

I think until you are able to come to terms with what you can really afford - you are doomed to fail.  We lived in a brand new house for 4 years before furnishing the living room - waiting until we could pay cash for that furniture. I think in the back of your mind - you believe you are as well off as your parents are - and that drives your spending - and so does the fact that you know that they will bail you out and pat you on the head and tell you what a good boy you are.

It might well be the case that you are going to inherit a bunch of money.  I can guarantee you that if you don't learn to live within your means now you will blow right through that and end up working until you die the way you are going.  You'll just ratchet up the spending.  If you are serious about getting on track and getting your finances under control - part of what you need to do is to come to grips with this attitude. 

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 10, 2017, 07:55:36 AM

I think until you are able to come to terms with what you can really afford - you are doomed to fail.  We lived in a brand new house for 4 years before furnishing the living room - waiting until we could pay cash for that furniture.


Yes this. I just braided my hair in the reflection of my bedroom window because I DONT HAVE A MIRROR IN THE BATHROOM.  I didn't think ok, I have a bathroom, time to fill it with all the things "normal" people have.  No, I'm waiting until we can afford it.  (In case you're wondering why the bathroom didn't have a mirror when we moved in, it's because we built our house ourselves, so it's pretty bare bones until we can afford to furnish it). 

My husband uses the left over shard of mirror from when we had a hand mirror to shave.

You may laugh at me and think we're poor and that you're "above" living like that.  But newsflash!  My networth is bigger than yours.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 10, 2017, 08:02:30 AM

Doesn't your wife want to create her own profile name and come on here and talk with us directly?  We're fun!

We are fun when we are not doing metaphorical face punches.  Lots of people on here with kids of various ages, doing "make life better and have fun doing it".

Lots of good stuff in Sharing Your Badassity  and  Throw Down the Gauntlet.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Poundwise on January 10, 2017, 08:10:23 AM
Hey beatles,

You did well yesterday.  What's on the agenda today?

Also, I have a question. Are you or your wife on FaceBook etc?  Or whom else do you know who goes around spending like you? Because I would suggest that you take a vacation from the social influences that might make you feel like your spending is ordinary. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: charis on January 10, 2017, 08:53:01 AM
We have 4 people in a 3-bedroom 1500 sq home, not including the finished basement playroom that's been recently hit by a kid bomb.  We have nice L-shaped couch with chaise that we bought new for $1,200 in cash 5 years ago in the living room. 

This was before I found MMM and the money should have gone to our SL debt, but at least we didn't buy on credit.  The couch is still decent because I cover it with a blanket most of the time but has some stains and needs a seam repair.   

The only other couch-like furniture we have is used Craigslist futon in the basement for visitors and used overstuffed sofa chair that was free from a former boss (torn up by grad school, two kids, two dogs, and one cat). 

We gross almost twice your salary and only debt is remaining student loans (paid off 20K in last 2ish years) and 90K mortgage.  Not mentioning to be superior but to add prospective to your situation.  I also have parents who like to be generous and offer money for things.  At this point, we gratefully accept checks at Christmas (directly into 529s) and family dinner at their favorite diner.  The best thing I can do for them is be financially independent and encourage them to save their wealth by not spending their money.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BlueHouse on January 10, 2017, 09:12:30 AM
Good grief, 350 comments in two days?  Beatles, I applaud you for not giving up already.  I would have run for the hills when I was new if I had received that type of welcome. 

Okay, so here's another perspective from someone who is not all that frugal but who has really learned a lot over the past few years on this forum.  I've made some life-changing decisions based on knowledge and advice from some of the people who are giving you advice now, and I've been implementing it as I can incorporate it into my life. 

1.  People on this forum tend to be self-made and we're proud of our accomplishments, even more so when we endure some pain (stoicism) or baddassity to get there.  So when you consider taking an easy-out (your parents), you'll get whiplash from all the face-punches! 

2.  Regarding the stocism and badassity mentioned above, it's a real badge of honor around these parts to do something that others might consider a hardship and to find joy in doing it.  If we could all walk 10 miles in the snow to school each day, we would!  But not everyone adopts badassity in every aspect of their life.  I might do one badass thing, like install my own plumbing fixtures or try a DIY project, but then be a sissy and hire cleaners to wash my windows.  You've been pounded from all directions by different people who want to be badass, but you don't have to do ALL of these things.  Just get started and start making progress.

3.  Regarding the groceries and eating out.  I hate cooking and I find every excuse in the world not to do it, but I've improved 10-fold since finding the MMM path.  I do use a slow cooker and make at least one big batch of something per week for all of my lunches.  I still have a long way to go because I see how large my grocery bill is and when I add it all up, I think about how many future days I could buy with the food I throw in the garbage each week.  This year I'll focus on groceries and planning my meals better.  I had an injury a few years ago and having groceries delivered once per week forced me to plan (and stick to that plan).  But I let go of that when I could walk again and I need to reinstitute some of that planning.

4.  Your couches, TV, house.  I bought a too-big house and budgeted to furnish it in my first few years.  I spent a shit-ton of money.  It's furnished.  I look like all of my neighbors and have a couch and a TV where you would expect to find them.  That's not how you find happiness.  Another poster mentioned to stay off Facebook -- I agree, it's an environment that is all about "keeping up with the Joneses".  Instead, I read these forums and I try to keep up by seeing how low I can get my thermostat.  Or how long I can go without using my car (I don't use my car on weekends anymore unless I'm sleeping somewhere that is not my house - I do all my errands by foot or by bike!)  These things make me so proud to see what I'm capable of and after you do it for a while, you don't want to go back. 

5.  Buying stuff -- no-spend days, weeks, or months are challenging at first.  I started with cash-only and if I didn't have the cash, I walked out of a store.  Can't tell you how many times I did a "Shop and Drop" when I got started.  It forced me to prioritize what I really needed.  Especially in the grocery store. 

Point is, all the trappings of normal suburban life are really trappings -- they're not getting you what you really want.  Slow and steady wins this race.  Find a way to get your wife on board.  Small things count and they lead to bigger things.

Good luck, I'm rooting for you! 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 10, 2017, 09:38:13 AM

That sounds good.

Sept 2017 is far away though.

How do I make it happen faster?

You START here. Once you have DONE THIS you tackle your grocery spending, your sense of entitlement and all of the other problems you have. You have been given so many ideas and options and things to consider doing at this point, you have to stop making excuses and asking for MORE INFORMATION and DO THE WORK - that is how you make it happen faster.

What sense of entitlement?

Can you point to a specific thing so I know what you're speaking of.

Wanting to default on your credit cards and reward yourself with a trip to Hawaii is entitlement.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 10, 2017, 09:39:52 AM


You don't have a problem with this? You are a grown adult with your own children. The bank of Mommy and Daddy should be CLOSED.

I'm honestly trying to figure out why its a problem.

Whats the problem with parents helping their kids?

Even when they're an adult, whats the harm?

I mean, do you feel bad that Donald Trump's kids get money from their dad? Or just non-billionaire parents?

The problem is that you are not self-sufficient. You spend more than you earn. What happens if your parents cut off the faucet and you are left holding the bag? What if you parents become ill and spend all their money? Do you want your kids begging at your door for the rest of their lives? That's what you're teaching them. At least Trump's daughter has her own business.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: J Boogie on January 10, 2017, 09:43:41 AM

I think until you are able to come to terms with what you can really afford - you are doomed to fail.  We lived in a brand new house for 4 years before furnishing the living room - waiting until we could pay cash for that furniture.


Yes this. I just braided my hair in the reflection of my bedroom window because I DONT HAVE A MIRROR IN THE BATHROOM.  I didn't think ok, I have a bathroom, time to fill it with all the things "normal" people have.  No, I'm waiting until we can afford it.  (In case you're wondering why the bathroom didn't have a mirror when we moved in, it's because we built our house ourselves, so it's pretty bare bones until we can afford to furnish it). 

My husband uses the left over shard of mirror from when we had a hand mirror to shave.

You may laugh at me and think we're poor and that you're "above" living like that.  But newsflash!  My networth is bigger than yours.

You must be joking.  I've collected 3 quality mirrors I found randomly in the alley.  You can find mirrors in the free section on craigslist all day.  Mirrors at goodwill don't cost a whole lot either.

I don't laugh at you and think you're poor, but I do find your deferred furnishing strategy to be illogical and off putting for someone who is seeking financial advice.  Clearly this dude and his family will not be inspired to be more frugal by knowing there are wealthier people out there using shards when they need to shave.

I think there's something else at play here - the use of self-deprivation as some sort of physcological tool.  I wouldn't risk promoting this strategy to a normal guy with a wife and kids.  He could come off as a total kook and lose his credibility when pushing for better financial habits. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 10, 2017, 10:24:46 AM

I think until you are able to come to terms with what you can really afford - you are doomed to fail.  We lived in a brand new house for 4 years before furnishing the living room - waiting until we could pay cash for that furniture.


Yes this. I just braided my hair in the reflection of my bedroom window because I DONT HAVE A MIRROR IN THE BATHROOM.  I didn't think ok, I have a bathroom, time to fill it with all the things "normal" people have.  No, I'm waiting until we can afford it.  (In case you're wondering why the bathroom didn't have a mirror when we moved in, it's because we built our house ourselves, so it's pretty bare bones until we can afford to furnish it). 

My husband uses the left over shard of mirror from when we had a hand mirror to shave.

You may laugh at me and think we're poor and that you're "above" living like that.  But newsflash!  My networth is bigger than yours.

You must be joking.  I've collected 3 quality mirrors I found randomly in the alley.  You can find mirrors in the free section on craigslist all day.  Mirrors at goodwill don't cost a whole lot either.

I don't laugh at you and think you're poor, but I do find your deferred furnishing strategy to be illogical and off putting for someone who is seeking financial advice.  Clearly this dude and his family will not be inspired to be more frugal by knowing there are wealthier people out there using shards when they need to shave.

I think there's something else at play here - the use of self-deprivation as some sort of physcological tool.  I wouldn't risk promoting this strategy to a normal guy with a wife and kids.  He could come off as a total kook and lose his credibility when pushing for better financial habits.

Actually here in Mexico where I live second hand stuff is really hard to come by.  There's not a huge ton of wealthy people throwing out perfectly good stuff because they need to get a new matching set for their new big house.  Our local craigslist is filled with people running businesses selling shit at normal prices. :(

Not having cheap second-hand stores is really sad for me. 

But you're right, I'm not saying that beatles has to sell his bathroom mirrors.  I'm just trying to provide some perspective.  We haven't gotten a mirror because we just don't care enough.  I know we're weird.  The point is that he should think about his desire to furnish an empty house and all the rooms in it like he sees in magazines, and think about what he actually needs and actually uses.  There's no way those three couches are getting use all at the same time.  Why don't they get one couch and sit on it all the time, instead of splitting their sitting between three different couches?  They have a living room and a sitting room.  WHY?  I mean if you're wealthy, go for it.  I'm just trying to push back against the idea that a House should look a certain way. 

Also, I have no idea what the back of my head looks like in these braids, and it may be a disaster.  Not for everyone.  :)

Oh, and beatles, my snarky networth comment is just to point out that you need to live within your means.  Not meant to be offensive.

Bluehouse was right on with their comment.  We are trying to be badass.  And I might be really badass at not having a mirror (wheras others will say, I guess....if that's your thing, right?!), and totally not badass at other things (my kids go to private school, for one, and we eat out too much). 

But beatles wants to get things moving faster, and so he needs to change his perspective on what he NEEDS vs what he WANTS.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Molzy on January 10, 2017, 10:31:30 AM
I haven't read through all the comments on this thread (I can't keep up as new ones are posted) but I wanted to say you don't have to be as extreme as some people here to still live frugally, it's all relative.

For example, we own two TVs, a couch, and TWO love seats and two chairs! But all were paid for with cash, one of the love seats is from Craigslist and the other set we bought last year when we got our house and suddenly had a living room and a family room (and no, it's not a McMansion, it's 1200 square feet, just well laid out). Perhaps it's excessive, and generally we only use one room at a time (my husband and I generally like spending time together), but sometimes he wants to play video games in one room while I watch a show in the other room. We already had both TVs from when we lived in two homes, and we were easily able to afford the new couch set while still paying aggressively on our student loans.

I derive happiness from a nice house. So we spend some of our money on things like throw pillows and new paint. But I shop around, and put up with the fact that some of our rooms will stay outdated for a few years. I buy what I can used (like our dresser and night stands) and shop sales for other things (like a new duvet cover when our old one had holes all over it). I don't think it's bad to like having nice things, I love watching HGTV and admiring houses...just do it within your budget. And if you have to put it on a credit card it's likely not in your budget (we use credit cards for purchases for the points and protection it offers, but pay in full each month).

Congrats on the progress you have made, and good luck in the future.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BlueHouse on January 10, 2017, 10:40:02 AM
I mean, do you feel bad that Donald Trump's kids get money from their dad? Or just non-billionaire parents?

Yes, I do feel badly that they get such a huge head start in life and in business because of their parentage.  I believe in meritocracy (although, not total).  It sickens me that Donald Trump thinks he is more successful than I am or that he believes he is smarter than I am.  He started out with vastly more than I did and was able to keep it without losing too much to inflation.  Pretty sure anyone on this forum could have done better.  His children clearly believe that he (and they) deserve the wealth they have.  And that attitude really really bothers me. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 10, 2017, 10:44:13 AM
I derive happiness from a nice house. So we spend some of our money on things like throw pillows and new paint. But I shop around, and put up with the fact that some of our rooms will stay outdated for a few years. I buy what I can used (like our dresser and night stands) and shop sales for other things (like a new duvet cover when our old one had holes all over it). I don't think it's bad to like having nice things, I love watching HGTV and admiring houses...just do it within your budget. And if you have to put it on a credit card it's likely not in your budget (we use credit cards for purchases for the points and protection it offers, but pay in full each month).

I think this is a very important comment, and it's spot on. There are way too many extreme frugalists in these forums, which can be shockingly discouraging (or rather just shocking) even to regulars such as myself. Someone such as beatles, who is not familiar with the system and has been living a life of unaccounted for luxury needs to be shown that a frugal life does not mean complete and utter abstinence. If they come here looking for help and then read about people using broken glass shards for mirrors I guarantee they will promptly turn away again and never think back. The bottom line is to figure out what's important and then prioritize within ones means. For some it's a nicely decorated family home, some pimp out their cars, and others spend their money travelling around the globe. And that's absolutely fine, there's no one-ring-rules-them-all solution here. That's very important to understand.

Still, given the amount of debt that beatles is in my personal advice would be to try and monetarize as much furniture as conveniently possible. After all he was the one considering Sept 2017 a long way into the future asking how to speed things up, and selling furniture one does not really need (the old WANT vs. NEED debate) is certainly one way to pay off ones debt exponentially faster.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cowardly Toaster on January 10, 2017, 10:50:45 AM
I mean, do you feel bad that Donald Trump's kids get money from their dad? Or just non-billionaire parents?

Yes, I do feel badly that they get such a huge head start in life and in business because of their parentage.  I believe in meritocracy (although, not total).  It sickens me that Donald Trump thinks he is more successful than I am or that he believes he is smarter than I am.  He started out with vastly more than I did and was able to keep it without losing too much to inflation.  Pretty sure anyone on this forum could have done better.  His children clearly believe that he (and they) deserve the wealth they have.  And that attitude really really bothers me.

Let's not derail an excellent thread by talking about the political situation. There are threads elsewhere for that.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ReadySetMillionaire on January 10, 2017, 10:57:55 AM
I derive happiness from a nice house. So we spend some of our money on things like throw pillows and new paint. But I shop around, and put up with the fact that some of our rooms will stay outdated for a few years. I buy what I can used (like our dresser and night stands) and shop sales for other things (like a new duvet cover when our old one had holes all over it). I don't think it's bad to like having nice things, I love watching HGTV and admiring houses...just do it within your budget. And if you have to put it on a credit card it's likely not in your budget (we use credit cards for purchases for the points and protection it offers, but pay in full each month).

I think this is a very important comment, and it's spot on. There are way too many extreme frugalists in these forums, which can be shockingly discouraging (or rather just shocking) even to regulars such as myself. Someone such as beatles, who is not familiar with the system and has been living a life of unaccounted for luxury needs to be shown that a frugal life does not mean complete and utter abstinence. If they come here looking for help and then read about people using broken glass shards for mirrors I guarantee they will promptly turn away again and never think back. The bottom line is to figure out what's important and then prioritize within ones means. For some it's a nicely decorated family home, some pimp out their cars, and others spend their money travelling around the globe. And that's absolutely fine, there's no one-ring-rules-them-all solution here. That's very important to understand.

Still, given the amount of debt that beatles is in my personal advice would be to try and monetarize as much furniture as conveniently possible. After all he was the one considering Sept 2017 a long way into the future asking how to speed things up, and selling furniture one does not really need (the old WANT vs. NEED debate) is certainly one way to pay off ones debt exponentially faster.

Agree entirely. I started writing a post replying to the "broken glass shards" comment and was so frustrated that I couldn't even finish it. I understand the goal (changing perspective), but good heavens, there's a line where "advice" is so impractical that it's more harmful than helpful.

Beatles--don't let the extreme frugalists distract you from the overall message:

1. Identify your needs;
2. Seek to maximize efficiency and reduce costs with respect to these needs;
3. Identify wants and their relative importance in your life;
4. Seek to eliminate wants that are pressured by society and focus on wants that truly bring you joy;
5. Spend as efficiently as possible on these wants;
6. Never spend beyond your means.

In one way or another, all 350+ posts relate to this basic line of thinking. Some are extreme to the point that it drives me--a fellow frugalist--absolutely insane; others are spot on. There's a ton of good wisdom here and I hope it helps.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 11:06:23 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 11:07:00 AM

That sounds good.

Sept 2017 is far away though.

How do I make it happen faster?

You START here. Once you have DONE THIS you tackle your grocery spending, your sense of entitlement and all of the other problems you have. You have been given so many ideas and options and things to consider doing at this point, you have to stop making excuses and asking for MORE INFORMATION and DO THE WORK - that is how you make it happen faster.

What sense of entitlement?

Can you point to a specific thing so I know what you're speaking of.

Wanting to default on your credit cards and reward yourself with a trip to Hawaii is entitlement.

I never said I wanted to, I said that was advice given to me.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 11:07:59 AM
Good grief, 350 comments in two days?  Beatles, I applaud you for not giving up already.  I would have run for the hills when I was new if I had received that type of welcome. 

Okay, so here's another perspective from someone who is not all that frugal but who has really learned a lot over the past few years on this forum.  I've made some life-changing decisions based on knowledge and advice from some of the people who are giving you advice now, and I've been implementing it as I can incorporate it into my life. 

1.  People on this forum tend to be self-made and we're proud of our accomplishments, even more so when we endure some pain (stoicism) or baddassity to get there.  So when you consider taking an easy-out (your parents), you'll get whiplash from all the face-punches! 

2.  Regarding the stocism and badassity mentioned above, it's a real badge of honor around these parts to do something that others might consider a hardship and to find joy in doing it.  If we could all walk 10 miles in the snow to school each day, we would!  But not everyone adopts badassity in every aspect of their life.  I might do one badass thing, like install my own plumbing fixtures or try a DIY project, but then be a sissy and hire cleaners to wash my windows.  You've been pounded from all directions by different people who want to be badass, but you don't have to do ALL of these things.  Just get started and start making progress.

3.  Regarding the groceries and eating out.  I hate cooking and I find every excuse in the world not to do it, but I've improved 10-fold since finding the MMM path.  I do use a slow cooker and make at least one big batch of something per week for all of my lunches.  I still have a long way to go because I see how large my grocery bill is and when I add it all up, I think about how many future days I could buy with the food I throw in the garbage each week.  This year I'll focus on groceries and planning my meals better.  I had an injury a few years ago and having groceries delivered once per week forced me to plan (and stick to that plan).  But I let go of that when I could walk again and I need to reinstitute some of that planning.

4.  Your couches, TV, house.  I bought a too-big house and budgeted to furnish it in my first few years.  I spent a shit-ton of money.  It's furnished.  I look like all of my neighbors and have a couch and a TV where you would expect to find them.  That's not how you find happiness.  Another poster mentioned to stay off Facebook -- I agree, it's an environment that is all about "keeping up with the Joneses".  Instead, I read these forums and I try to keep up by seeing how low I can get my thermostat.  Or how long I can go without using my car (I don't use my car on weekends anymore unless I'm sleeping somewhere that is not my house - I do all my errands by foot or by bike!)  These things make me so proud to see what I'm capable of and after you do it for a while, you don't want to go back. 

5.  Buying stuff -- no-spend days, weeks, or months are challenging at first.  I started with cash-only and if I didn't have the cash, I walked out of a store.  Can't tell you how many times I did a "Shop and Drop" when I got started.  It forced me to prioritize what I really needed.  Especially in the grocery store. 

Point is, all the trappings of normal suburban life are really trappings -- they're not getting you what you really want.  Slow and steady wins this race.  Find a way to get your wife on board.  Small things count and they lead to bigger things.

Good luck, I'm rooting for you!

This is awesome!

Thanks so much for the perspective!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 10, 2017, 11:08:23 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

Once you're debt free? A good deal, when you need it, is a great idea.

But right now? People have been chipping cars out of snow for a long time. Until your hair is no longer on fire (aka, debt emergency), then you only get your NEEDS, not your WANTS, if you are going to get out of this giant hole.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: YoungGranny on January 10, 2017, 11:09:36 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

You don't save any money when you're still buying unnecessary things. I live in MI and don't have a remote starter so saying you NEED one is inaccurate. You may WANT one and IF you still want it in 3+ years after all your debt is paid off and you've saved a nice emergency fund then MAYBE you can get it. MAYBE. Deals always exist, don't let them set you back to get it right now.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 10, 2017, 11:10:08 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

Did you read the MMM post about consumer suckers? You're not saving 300. You're SPENDING 200!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 10, 2017, 11:10:25 AM
I agree that the uber-frugal comments can drive some people away and there is the risk of throwing out the baby with the bathwater. Personally we are not very frugal at all compared to the standards around here, though we outwardly appear to spend much less than most other people around us. I cut my husband's hair, we do most cooking at home, have old, used furniture, and buy my kid's clothes second-hand. On the other hands, we spend more in rent than many people here spend in a month and our rent plus childcare is probably more than many people take home in a year. We also have the luxury of spending freely at the grocery store, buying new socks whenever the old ones have holes, go on vacation to Hawaii if we feel like it because we are blessed with high incomes. That doesn't stop us from practicing the fundamentals of mustachianism: be thoughtful about our purchases, identify what truly brings us joy and spend money freely there, all while saving a significant portion of our income.

The benefit I do see to everyone chiming in about how they only own one 20 year-old used couch is that it helps to counterbalance all of the commercials and other messages that are sent out all the time about how it is normal to spend-spend-spend. Not only is it okay to have cheap furniture and a small-ish house, it is normal around here. Humans are very social so it is hard to buck the trends of those around you. THat is the very reason we find each other online here so we can all pat each other on the back and normalize what feels very abnormal in the "real" world.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 11:11:13 AM
In that case maybe I take back what I said about selling them early. Maybe you should try and sell them for 2k and pay them off right away. Think about it.

By the way: sofas? as in plural? If so why would you need more than one? How many sofas can you sit on at the same time? Or has your ass become so big from all the pop and snacks that you need more than one sofa to fit on comfortably? (just kidding)

Lmao!

I laughed at that ass comment.

But seriously, you only have one sofa in your house? There's one for the living room, one for the sitting room, one for the basement, and we were thinking about one for the bedroom.

Maybe it's a local thing?

Yes - I have two in my vacation home and two in my regular home.  But my NW is over $4M, and our annual income is over 5 times yours. I paid cash for all four of them.  And NONE OF THEM COST $1000 EACH.  I'm wondering what is wrong with you when you are still laughing about this?  You are freely admitting that paying for these will cost you more than 10% of what you earn in a year.  Do you see how absolutely ridiculous that is? 

I think until you are able to come to terms with what you can really afford - you are doomed to fail.  We lived in a brand new house for 4 years before furnishing the living room - waiting until we could pay cash for that furniture. I think in the back of your mind - you believe you are as well off as your parents are - and that drives your spending - and so does the fact that you know that they will bail you out and pat you on the head and tell you what a good boy you are.

It might well be the case that you are going to inherit a bunch of money.  I can guarantee you that if you don't learn to live within your means now you will blow right through that and end up working until you die the way you are going.  You'll just ratchet up the spending.  If you are serious about getting on track and getting your finances under control - part of what you need to do is to come to grips with this attitude.

I know this is going to make me sound bad, but my biggest question from this post is "What the heck do you do that makes you over $300k and how do I get into that business?"

Haha :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 10, 2017, 11:11:57 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed WANTED a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

Fixed that for you, beatles. That's a want, not a need. You don't have a garage?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 11:13:58 AM
Having just chewed through all 300+ posts I would like to express how incredibly impressed I am with the forum for all of the advice, suggestions and patience displayed.

Thread should be stickied for all the goodness. It basically covers absolutely everything one needs to know to get their shit together.

Beatles man - which one do you resemble? John, Ringo, George or Paul? I feel like it would be easier to interact with you if you had a name that we can identify you as :)

Definitely John!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 10, 2017, 11:14:49 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

A good deal is not a good deal IF YOU DON'T have the money to buy it outright, in cash. You put in on your card tack on AT LEAST 20% more in interest.

Again, you need to go back to what is a need vs. a want. I have lived Northern, remote Canada where we need block heaters just to run a car, and we still have never had a remote car starter.

I get that you are a marketer, it is your job to convince people to buy things. DON'T LET THE SAME PHYCOLOGICAL TRICKS YOU USE BE USED ON YOU. You KNOW the TRICKS you can't claim ignorance.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 11:15:12 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed WANTED a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

Fixed that for you, beatles. That's a want, not a need. You don't have a garage?

We do, but it's full of stuff.

Kids motorized jeeps, and sports equipment, and tools and so forth. Thats in 1 spot.

And then my wifes vehicle is in the other spot.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 11:16:17 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

Once you're debt free? A good deal, when you need it, is a great idea.

But right now? People have been chipping cars out of snow for a long time. Until your hair is no longer on fire (aka, debt emergency), then you only get your NEEDS, not your WANTS, if you are going to get out of this giant hole.

OK.

Fair enough.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cowardly Toaster on January 10, 2017, 11:17:41 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

Start thinking about the word "need," and only apply it where it is actually appropriate. And gas cars don't need to warm up for more than 2 minutes. So bundle up, start your car, play on your cellphone for a bit, then start driving. Save yourself money on gas from idling and the fancy autostart.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ReadySetMillionaire on January 10, 2017, 11:18:25 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

You are still confused about needs versus wants. This is a great way to test your judgment and apply the analysis I set forth above.

Do you NEED a remote car starter? No.
Do you WANT a remote car starter? Yes.
How IMPORTANT is that want? Answer is probably moderately, considering you brush snow off your car for what, three months of the year.
Would it be EFFICIENT to buy that now given your current situation? Absolutely not.

I too live in the snowbelt (NE Ohio). I've wanted a remote starter since I've had my car (2008) and still don't have one. Usually because I say "meh I'll wait one more year." Usually the winter passes and then I don't care too much anymore--this is a classic example of letting time help you realize that something is a want, not a need. Understanding that difference is the key to saving $200 on a purchase you don't need.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ReadySetMillionaire on January 10, 2017, 11:20:05 AM
We do, but it's full of stuff.

Kids motorized jeeps, and sports equipment, and tools and so forth. Thats in 1 spot.

And then my wifes vehicle is in the other spot.

Looks like you found a weekend project! Move all that stuff to the basement and reward yourself with a nice and cozy spot to park your car throughout the winter. It's free!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 10, 2017, 11:21:25 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed WANTED a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

Fixed that for you, beatles. That's a want, not a need. You don't have a garage?

We do, but it's full of stuff.

Kids motorized jeeps, and sports equipment, and tools and so forth. Thats in 1 spot.

And then my wifes vehicle is in the other spot.

That's actually great news, beatles. SELL ALL THAT SHIT. Then you will have money in your pocket and your car in the garage.

Win/Win.

Do you understand how it sounds when you say you want to spend $200 on a remote car starter because you have a kid-size motorized jeep taking up the space in your garage where you should park your car?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cowardly Toaster on January 10, 2017, 11:23:49 AM
We do, but it's full of stuff.

Kids motorized jeeps, and sports equipment, and tools and so forth. Thats in 1 spot.

And then my wifes vehicle is in the other spot.

Looks like you found a weekend project! Move all that stuff to the basement and reward yourself with a nice and cozy spot to park your car throughout the winter. It's free!

Do you by any chance have a bunch of high end tools laying around? If you do, save your drill, circular saw, saws all, a few basic hand tools and your socket kit, sell the rest on ebay or craigslist. Use the cash to pay some of that CC debt.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 10, 2017, 11:26:02 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed WANTED a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

Fixed that for you, beatles. That's a want, not a need. You don't have a garage?

We do, but it's full of stuff.

Kids motorized jeeps, and sports equipment, and tools and so forth. Thats in 1 spot.

And then my wifes vehicle is in the other spot.
Your two and four year olds have motorized jeeps? Oh my.

Look, sell everything that is stopping you from getting your car in the garage.  List it on Craigslist.   Then put your car in the garage.  You should have several hundred pounds, at least, to pay off your credit cards with, you will be keeping your car in better condition so it will look and run better for longer, and you will no longer even want the remote starter.

I think I get it: your solution to everything so far has always been to buy something (except the wife and kids, I hope).   From now on, please exercise your undoubted intellect and find the solutions which don't involve buying something.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marielle on January 10, 2017, 11:29:31 AM
We do, but it's full of stuff.

Kids motorized jeeps, and sports equipment, and tools and so forth. Thats in 1 spot.

And then my wifes vehicle is in the other spot.

Looks like you found a weekend project! Move all that stuff to the basement and reward yourself with a nice and cozy spot to park your car throughout the winter. It's free!

I would add to even sell that stuff, kids that young don't need motorized vehicles or can even appreciate them right now, and you can't afford to participate in expensive sports hobbies right now. The money you save right now by selling that stuff to pay debt down is probably more than enough to buy the same stuff again in a year (USED). Especially if it's seasonal/summer stuff you can't use right now anyway.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cowardly Toaster on January 10, 2017, 11:34:18 AM
This might be controversial with other Mustachians, but could you have a big garage sale this spring? Get together things you don't need, put good prices on all of it and start selling. Any proceeds you get go to paying debt.

Best items to sell: Dvds, tools, sporting equipment, extra toys, jewelry, unused kitchen stuff, furniture. Clothes probably won't sell well but you can put them out too. Of course, anything really highend should be sold on Craigslist, for example, high quality chainsaws or generators.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 10, 2017, 11:38:49 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

That house doesn't have a garage?  And it has more than one area for a couch?

No - you don't get the remote car starter until you have no debt and you can pay cash - even if it is less than half price.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 10, 2017, 11:40:45 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed WANTED a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

Fixed that for you, beatles. That's a want, not a need. You don't have a garage?

We do, but it's full of stuff.

Kids motorized jeeps, and sports equipment, and tools and so forth. Thats in 1 spot.

And then my wifes vehicle is in the other spot.

A 2 yr old and a 4 yr old don't need motorized jeep(S!!). Sell that stuff pronto, get your car spot back, and you can pat yourself on the back on doing something proactive!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 11:42:22 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

You are still confused about needs versus wants. This is a great way to test your judgment and apply the analysis I set forth above.

Do you NEED a remote car starter? No.
Do you WANT a remote car starter? Yes.
How IMPORTANT is that want? Answer is probably moderately, considering you brush snow off your car for what, three months of the year.
Would it be EFFICIENT to buy that now given your current situation? Absolutely not.

I too live in the snowbelt (NE Ohio). I've wanted a remote starter since I've had my car (2008) and still don't have one. Usually because I say "meh I'll wait one more year." Usually the winter passes and then I don't care too much anymore--this is a classic example of letting time help you realize that something is a want, not a need. Understanding that difference is the key to saving $200 on a purchase you don't need.

Good point!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 11:43:16 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed WANTED a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

Fixed that for you, beatles. That's a want, not a need. You don't have a garage?

We do, but it's full of stuff.

Kids motorized jeeps, and sports equipment, and tools and so forth. Thats in 1 spot.

And then my wifes vehicle is in the other spot.

A 2 yr old and a 4 yr old don't need motorized jeep(S!!). Sell that stuff pronto, get your car spot back, and you can pat yourself on the back on doing something proactive!

Oh come on, you can't sell a kids prized possesion!

Break their little heart.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 10, 2017, 11:43:55 AM
In that case maybe I take back what I said about selling them early. Maybe you should try and sell them for 2k and pay them off right away. Think about it.

By the way: sofas? as in plural? If so why would you need more than one? How many sofas can you sit on at the same time? Or has your ass become so big from all the pop and snacks that you need more than one sofa to fit on comfortably? (just kidding)



Lmao!

I laughed at that ass comment.

But seriously, you only have one sofa in your house? There's one for the living room, one for the sitting room, one for the basement, and we were thinking about one for the bedroom.

Maybe it's a local thing?

Yes - I have two in my vacation home and two in my regular home.  But my NW is over $4M, and our annual income is over 5 times yours. I paid cash for all four of them.  And NONE OF THEM COST $1000 EACH.  I'm wondering what is wrong with you when you are still laughing about this?  You are freely admitting that paying for these will cost you more than 10% of what you earn in a year.  Do you see how absolutely ridiculous that is? 

I think until you are able to come to terms with what you can really afford - you are doomed to fail.  We lived in a brand new house for 4 years before furnishing the living room - waiting until we could pay cash for that furniture. I think in the back of your mind - you believe you are as well off as your parents are - and that drives your spending - and so does the fact that you know that they will bail you out and pat you on the head and tell you what a good boy you are.

It might well be the case that you are going to inherit a bunch of money.  I can guarantee you that if you don't learn to live within your means now you will blow right through that and end up working until you die the way you are going.  You'll just ratchet up the spending.  If you are serious about getting on track and getting your finances under control - part of what you need to do is to come to grips with this attitude.

I know this is going to make me sound bad, but my biggest question from this post is "What the heck do you do that makes you over $300k and how do I get into that business?"

Haha :)

Together my husband and I have 4 STEM degrees between us and I have a law degree in addition to that - all paid in cash as you go - BTW.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ReadySetMillionaire on January 10, 2017, 11:44:38 AM
Do you understand how it sounds when you say you want to spend $200 on a remote car starter because you have a kid-size motorized jeep taking up the space in your garage where you should park your car?

What a line.

And I'm going to disagree with some other posters--don't sell them, just move them in your house in the winter. Also, you don't need to sell every non-essential item. Just go through some sort of value system and identify the important things.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 10, 2017, 11:45:10 AM
This might be controversial with other Mustachians, but could you have a big garage sale this spring? Get together things you don't need, put good prices on all of it and start selling. Any proceeds you get go to paying debt.

Best items to sell: Dvds, tools, sporting equipment, extra toys, jewelry, unused kitchen stuff, furniture. Clothes probably won't sell well but you can put them out too. Of course, anything really highend should be sold on Craigslist, for example, high quality chainsaws or generators.

Not at all controversial, it was a contest to see who could suggest it first.  Those kids Jeeps can go on Craigslist too.

Garages are for cars.  If there is space, then garden equipment.  Your kids have legs, let them use them.  A tricycle for the little one, a tricycle or bicycle with trainer wheels for the older one.  Bought used this spring - no point buying new, they will outgrow them so fast.  A local school or Y may well have a sports equipment trade sale in the spring or fall, bikes and things in the spring, skiis and skates and things in the fall.  But yard sales.  Seriously.  Or Craigslist.  And then you and your wife and kids have some good times together while you adjust the bikes so they fit the kids and then they learn to ride them.

PS  Remote starter - not a need - I have lived north of you all my life, am on my 6th (at least) car, and have never had a starter.  And have spent 20 minutes standing in freezing rain scraping ice off my car at work.  It's life in this part of the world.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 10, 2017, 11:46:15 AM
Back to your question on how someone earns so much money, I can't answer for that particular poster, but we earn more than that by being two engineers in a HCOL area. There is a separate thread around here for "what do you do and how much do you earn?" that you might find interesting when you need a little down time.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 10, 2017, 11:48:07 AM

Oh come on, you can't sell a kids prized possesion!

Break their little heart.

You are joking, right?  You forgot the ;-)

Bikes are much more interactive and fun (and cheaper, secondhand).  First bikes have a rough life, you don't want new or fancy.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 11:50:57 AM



Do you understand how it sounds when you say you want to spend $200 on a remote car starter because you have a kid-size motorized jeep taking up the space in your garage where you should park your car?

Yeah that doesn't sound good.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: OurTown on January 10, 2017, 11:53:01 AM
What a fantastic thread.  I really hope the OP takes advantage of all the knowledge and wisdom being imparted here.  Don't get defensive about the tone, just do what needs to be done.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 11:54:08 AM
Back to your question on how someone earns so much money, I can't answer for that particular poster, but we earn more than that by being two engineers in a HCOL area. There is a separate thread around here for "what do you do and how much do you earn?" that you might find interesting when you need a little down time.

What type of engineer?

I have two friends. One is an electrical engineer and the other is a software engineer.

Both make under 100k.

It may be our area though.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 10, 2017, 11:55:09 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed WANTED a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

Fixed that for you, beatles. That's a want, not a need. You don't have a garage?

We do, but it's full of stuff.

Kids motorized jeeps, and sports equipment, and tools and so forth. Thats in 1 spot.

And then my wifes vehicle is in the other spot.

A 2 yr old and a 4 yr old don't need motorized jeep(S!!). Sell that stuff pronto, get your car spot back, and you can pat yourself on the back on doing something proactive!

Oh come on, you can't sell a kids prized possesion!

Break their little heart.

Sell them now and your kids will not even remember them. What will really break their hearts is if they can't afford to go to college in 15 years.

You owe tens of thousands of dollars for things you've already bought and obligations you have not fulfilled. Every day you don't pay them off, the price goes up.

It sounds like you have a garage full of "KA-CHING" that could be headed off to credit card debt. Get that ball rolling, son!

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 11:55:53 AM
Not to make excuses (dont facepunch me!)

But...

The income talk should probably be had.

Because there are at least 4 people (2 posters and their spouse) in just the last 10 posts or so, that make over $300k per year.

So they can save 80% and STILL make what I make lol.

Big difference there.

I bet most people on this site have very large incomes that make this easier.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 10, 2017, 11:57:58 AM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed WANTED a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

Fixed that for you, beatles. That's a want, not a need. You don't have a garage?

We do, but it's full of stuff.

Kids motorized jeeps, and sports equipment, and tools and so forth. Thats in 1 spot.

And then my wifes vehicle is in the other spot.

A 2 yr old and a 4 yr old don't need motorized jeep(S!!). Sell that stuff pronto, get your car spot back, and you can pat yourself on the back on doing something proactive!

Oh come on, you can't sell a kids prized possesion!

Break their little heart.

I've got the solution for you then.  Park the prized possession out where your car is parked and park your car where it is.  Of the two of you - you have less time to spend on digging out of the snow then the 4 year old does - and the 4 year old is not very likely driving in the snow anyway. And his car  isn't depreciating nearly as much as yours is sitting out in the weather.

But really Beatles - read what you wrote and really think about it.  FIND SOMEWHERE TO STORE THE TOY IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SELL IT AND PARK YOUR CAR IN THE GARAGE. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cowardly Toaster on January 10, 2017, 11:59:45 AM
I don't want to intrude on your personal life, but your wife might be in shock. She might not like the idea of changing your family's habits because it will make her feel "less than" other Americans.

I'd two things ASAP: Do some sort of frugal activity with the family that is fun. Cook a good meal maybe and have the five year old pitch in? I'll post my excellent chili recipe over in my journal to get you started.

Next: Show your wife how much better you feel now that you know everything will be alright financially. Talk to her about your plans for the finances, projecting confidence. Show her the sense of relief that can come with good financial planning.

One last idea. Write a list of all the things you want. Hawaii vacation, car start, new car, new fishing pole, whatever. Then look through the list and show yourself that you don't need a single one of them.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 10, 2017, 12:00:55 PM
Not to make excuses (dont facepunch me!)

But...

The income talk should probably be had.

Because there are at least 4 people (2 posters and their spouse) in just the last 10 posts or so, that make over $300k per year.

So they can save 80% and STILL make what I make lol.

Big difference there.

I bet most people on this site have very large incomes that make this easier.
Some do, some don't.  One of the mods round here, Arebelspy, retired in his 30s on public school teacher income.  I was a civil servant earning not much more than you do now at top whack.  Generally the ones who earned less started working, saving and investing earlier on in life, and rode the life-changing magic of compound interest working for them rather than against them (as it is currently working against you), or retired a little later (I retired at 50 with multiple millions).
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 12:01:07 PM
I haven't read through all the comments on this thread (I can't keep up as new ones are posted) but I wanted to say you don't have to be as extreme as some people here to still live frugally, it's all relative.

For example, we own two TVs, a couch, and TWO love seats and two chairs! But all were paid for with cash, one of the love seats is from Craigslist and the other set we bought last year when we got our house and suddenly had a living room and a family room (and no, it's not a McMansion, it's 1200 square feet, just well laid out). Perhaps it's excessive, and generally we only use one room at a time (my husband and I generally like spending time together), but sometimes he wants to play video games in one room while I watch a show in the other room. We already had both TVs from when we lived in two homes, and we were easily able to afford the new couch set while still paying aggressively on our student loans.

I derive happiness from a nice house. So we spend some of our money on things like throw pillows and new paint. But I shop around, and put up with the fact that some of our rooms will stay outdated for a few years. I buy what I can used (like our dresser and night stands) and shop sales for other things (like a new duvet cover when our old one had holes all over it). I don't think it's bad to like having nice things, I love watching HGTV and admiring houses...just do it within your budget. And if you have to put it on a credit card it's likely not in your budget (we use credit cards for purchases for the points and protection it offers, but pay in full each month).

Congrats on the progress you have made, and good luck in the future.

I just can't get over the thought of buying used furniture on Craigslist.

Every time I sat on the couch I would think of the fact that someone else probably had sex on this thing, or sat in their boxers on it sometime, or was scratching who knows what on it, or had their dog on it ... Etc.

That doesn't gross anyone out?

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: OurTown on January 10, 2017, 12:03:29 PM
Not to make excuses (dont facepunch me!)

But...

The income talk should probably be had.

Because there are at least 4 people (2 posters and their spouse) in just the last 10 posts or so, that make over $300k per year.

So they can save 80% and STILL make what I make lol.

Big difference there.

I bet most people on this site have very large incomes that make this easier.
Some do, some don't.  One of the mods round here, Arebelspy, retired in his 30s on public school teacher income.  I was a civil servant earning not much more than you do now at top whack.  Generally the ones who earned less started working, saving and investing earlier on in life, and rode the life-changing magic of compound interest working for them rather than against them (as it is currently working against you), or retired a little later (I retired at 50 with multiple millions).

Yeah, I made shit for income until about 2010.  Even now, we are well under 200k income as a family unit.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 10, 2017, 12:05:31 PM
Not to make excuses (dont facepunch me!)

But...

The income talk should probably be had.

Because there are at least 4 people (2 posters and their spouse) in just the last 10 posts or so, that make over $300k per year.

So they can save 80% and STILL make what I make lol.

Big difference there.

I bet most people on this site have very large incomes that make this easier.
No facepunch, just something to think about.

It doesn't matter how much money you make. What matters is the difference between how much you make and how much you spend. Obviously someone making 300k a year can afford more than someone making 65k a year. Yet in this thread you see people making 100k, 200k, or 300k a year that do not have three couches, three TVs, two cars, two motorized jeeps for their kids, and who are debt-free. Not because they make so much more than you do but because they spend so much less. Because they don't go out and binge shop for $3000 TV sets. Because they know the difference between want and need.

And quite honestly 65k is not bad. We've had people making significantly less who still managed to get out of debt and live a financially sound life. And we've seen people making 300k who somehow managed to pile up millions of dollars of debt because they thought with 300k they could afford everything. Just like you.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: YoungGranny on January 10, 2017, 12:06:03 PM
Not to make excuses (dont facepunch me!)

But...

The income talk should probably be had.

Because there are at least 4 people (2 posters and their spouse) in just the last 10 posts or so, that make over $300k per year.

So they can save 80% and STILL make what I make lol.

Big difference there.

I bet most people on this site have very large incomes that make this easier.

But that *IS* a HUGE excuse! And most people making that much money on this forum live on significantly less that you do! The point is to learn to live within your budget NOT theirs! I know it's hard to adjust your lifestyle down but it's so, so worth it. Growing up my Dad made a lot of money, but when I was 14 he hit financial hardships and flexed his mustachian muscles it taught me valuable life lessons like grocery shopping on a budget, layering clothes because our thermostat was set to 60 degrees in the winter, having fun by playing cards etc.

I was able to pay off $18k of student loan debt in 1 year after graduating on a $50k salary living in Chicago.

I was also able to save $40k to buy my first house 3 years after graduating (without sacrificing 401k, IRA contribution).

The only debt I have is my mortgage and I bought a rental unit with cash earlier this year. I don't make $300k but I've learned to live within my means.

I don't say this to brag and quite frankly I'm not as frugal as I could/should be. All the little cuts add up though and it makes a big difference, but you have to stop making excuses and start taking action!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 10, 2017, 12:06:21 PM
Not to make excuses (dont facepunch me!)

But...

The income talk should probably be had.

Because there are at least 4 people (2 posters and their spouse) in just the last 10 posts or so, that make over $300k per year.

So they can save 80% and STILL make what I make lol.

Big difference there.

I bet most people on this site have very large incomes that make this easier.
Some do, some don't.  One of the mods round here, Arebelspy, retired in his 30s on public school teacher income.  I was a civil servant earning not much more than you do now at top whack.  Generally the ones who earned less started working, saving and investing earlier on in life, and rode the life-changing magic of compound interest working for them rather than against them (as it is currently working against you), or retired a little later (I retired at 50 with multiple millions).

Beatles -- it's a mix.  But there are LOADS of people on the forum that make less than you do.  You do NOT have to be a high earner to get ahead.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 10, 2017, 12:06:53 PM
Me! It grosses me out! I don't buy used furniture. But we lived with family hand-me-downs for the first 7 years of our married life, while we saved money to buy new.

Try not to worry about how well or how poorly other people are doing.

"If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself." -- Desiderata

Work within your framework. What we learned today is that you have a garage full of sports equipment, motorized kids' jeeps, and tools. People will buy those things from you for cold, hard cash. I really meant it when I said it was great news. Imagine knocking out a few of those credit cards AND having a place to park your car. Stuff is just... stuff. Is it Mr. Money Mustache himself who says he stores stuff on Craigslist?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 12:08:09 PM

One last idea. Write a list of all the things you want. Hawaii vacation, car start, new car, new fishing pole, whatever. Then look through the list and show yourself that you don't need a single one of them.

LMAO!

I'm just imagining how that is going to go.

"Ok honey, think about the palm trees ... The warm breezy air ... The clear blue ocean ... The pina colada's. Thinking about all that now? OK... *slap* You dont need that! Now get back to chopping carrots"

I'm not sure i'd wake up the next day...
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 10, 2017, 12:08:45 PM
I haven't read through all the comments on this thread (I can't keep up as new ones are posted) but I wanted to say you don't have to be as extreme as some people here to still live frugally, it's all relative.

For example, we own two TVs, a couch, and TWO love seats and two chairs! But all were paid for with cash, one of the love seats is from Craigslist and the other set we bought last year when we got our house and suddenly had a living room and a family room (and no, it's not a McMansion, it's 1200 square feet, just well laid out). Perhaps it's excessive, and generally we only use one room at a time (my husband and I generally like spending time together), but sometimes he wants to play video games in one room while I watch a show in the other room. We already had both TVs from when we lived in two homes, and we were easily able to afford the new couch set while still paying aggressively on our student loans.

I derive happiness from a nice house. So we spend some of our money on things like throw pillows and new paint. But I shop around, and put up with the fact that some of our rooms will stay outdated for a few years. I buy what I can used (like our dresser and night stands) and shop sales for other things (like a new duvet cover when our old one had holes all over it). I don't think it's bad to like having nice things, I love watching HGTV and admiring houses...just do it within your budget. And if you have to put it on a credit card it's likely not in your budget (we use credit cards for purchases for the points and protection it offers, but pay in full each month).

Congrats on the progress you have made, and good luck in the future.

I just can't get over the thought of buying used furniture on Craigslist.

Every time I sat on the couch I would think of the fact that someone else probably had sex on this thing, or sat in their boxers on it sometime, or was scratching who knows what on it, or had their dog on it ... Etc.

That doesn't gross anyone out?

Yes -- I'm with you.  Used couches gross me out.  We bought ours new.  But for cash, 15 years ago.  :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: researcher1 on January 10, 2017, 12:11:32 PM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

There are only two possible explanations for this thread...

Either "The Beatles" is a troll with lots of time on his hands OR he is the most ignorant, self-absorbed, immature, spoiled dumb*ass on this forum.
MOD NOTE: Not helpful and violating the forum rules.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cowardly Toaster on January 10, 2017, 12:12:44 PM

One last idea. Write a list of all the things you want. Hawaii vacation, car start, new car, new fishing pole, whatever. Then look through the list and show yourself that you don't need a single one of them.

LMAO!

I'm just imagining how that is going to go.

"Ok honey, think about the palm trees ... The warm breezy air ... The clear blue ocean ... The pina colada's. Thinking about all that now? OK... *slap* You dont need that! Now get back to chopping carrots"

I'm not sure i'd wake up the next day...

LOL I'd say the list is for you personally because I think you still need to convince yourself that frugality is the right path.

As far as cooking or going on a walk or whatever fun frugal activity you choose, just show your family how much fun it is. No reason to tell them.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 12:13:22 PM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

There are only two possible explanations for this thread...

Either "The Beatles" is a troll with lots of time on his hands OR he is the most ignorant, self-absorbed, immature, spoiled dumb*ass on this forum.

Wow.

Thanks.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 10, 2017, 12:13:52 PM
Not to make excuses (dont facepunch me!)

But...

The income talk should probably be had.

Because there are at least 4 people (2 posters and their spouse) in just the last 10 posts or so, that make over $300k per year.

So they can save 80% and STILL make what I make lol.

Big difference there.

I bet most people on this site have very large incomes that make this easier.

The income talk is a red herring for two reasons. FIRST: What other people make has no bearing on YOUR situation. Second, regardless of income the math for FIRE works. It is as much (or more) about spending than earning and dialing in what you actually need in retirement.

Also, there are tons of people on these forums who make LESS THAN YOU. There are people recovering from divorce, those who have suffered loss of their spouse and main income earner, people working in nonprofits, people with disabilities who are supporting themselves on less than 25,000 a year.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marielle on January 10, 2017, 12:15:03 PM

I just can't get over the thought of buying used furniture on Craigslist.

Every time I sat on the couch I would think of the fact that someone else probably had sex on this thing, or sat in their boxers on it sometime, or was scratching who knows what on it, or had their dog on it ... Etc.

That doesn't gross anyone out?

You eat after people in restaurants, using the same plates and silverware and cups. You sit in chairs that could have been peed on or who knows what else. You bought your house after someone else lived in it too right? Oh god, but what if they had sex in it? Or on the carpet? What about a used car? Are you going to forever buy new cars because someone could have done something gross in it?

But wait...you might say all this stuff was cleaned and sanitized. Why can't you do that with your used furniture too?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 10, 2017, 12:19:06 PM
Quote
What type of engineer?

I have two friends. One is an electrical engineer and the other is a software engineer.

Both make under 100k.

It may be our area though

It could very well be the area. We are in Silicon Valley. Mechanical design engineer and materials/component/project engineer. We also went to top schools and have two degrees each.

But that is all distraction. It doesn't matter so much what you earn, it is what you keep, as others have already posted. My sister probably makes close to $50k in a HCOL area and manages to save by being very careful with every dollar she spends. She has a nicely decorated and renovated condo that she put a lot of thought into and got a lot of good deals on. She has just what she wants and needs and nothing more. She is a wonderful role model for me even though we save boatloads more each year than her.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 10, 2017, 12:19:32 PM
Not to make excuses (dont facepunch me!)

But...

The income talk should probably be had.

Because there are at least 4 people (2 posters and their spouse) in just the last 10 posts or so, that make over $300k per year.

So they can save 80% and STILL make what I make lol.

Big difference there.

I bet most people on this site have very large incomes that make this easier.

I don't have to apologize for working my arse off from undergrad to job(+ kids)  to job+grad school(+ kids)  to owning a business(+ kids)  to owning a business + grad school again(+ kids)  to just a job - and that is just me.  We did not start out at that income - that income represents a progression based on increasing education and experience in the very difficult fields we both chose to pursue. 

But despite our income increasing over the years - we still live in the same house we built 25 years ago. My car is a 2006.  My husband just sold his 2001.  Our "vacation home" is the small home I bought at the very bottom of the market when I was working remotely from home for six years, to save on rent.  In my "spare time" I gutted and remodeled it and it will become our main home when we sell the family home soon. But I bought the smallest home in the neighborhood when we could have bought the best and biggest in the neighborhood. And the gutting and remodel was all done in cash pay as you go.  So are the furnishings and everything inside.

And I'm a little over 20 years older than you - I assume that you expect people that have been working longer with more education and experience to make more than you?  I do have to say that we could have spent every penny - most of our friends have - but we've given generously to charity each year and saved for our future without work - supposing we can actually get health insurance now.  We've never spent more than we've earned - ever - even in the beginning when we weren't making much.  And, BTW, somehow we discovered that both of us working did net out to a positive even with child care.

And no - most people don't. We are in the top 1 % of earners.  As a matter of fact - you are in the top 18% of earners according to (http://blogs.wsj.com/economics/2016/03/02/what-percent-are-you-2/). 


Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: notactiveanymore on January 10, 2017, 12:23:51 PM
Not to make excuses (dont facepunch me!)

But...

The income talk should probably be had.

Because there are at least 4 people (2 posters and their spouse) in just the last 10 posts or so, that make over $300k per year.

So they can save 80% and STILL make what I make lol.

Big difference there.

I bet most people on this site have very large incomes that make this easier.

My husband and I will make 87k gross in 2017. We made 80.5k gross in 2016, ~72k in 2015, ~68k in 2014, and ~58k in 2013. When we met (at work in 2013) we were each making $25k gross and he had 55k in student loans. We got married in October 2014 and we paid off all 55k in student loans in 20 months. We did not have much by way of assets to sell - just our two vehicles which would not have made sense to sell because of their low value - so we put over 50% of our takehome income to paying off the debt. Our average income over the 20 month payoff was $75,000.

I just got a hefty raise in 2017, so I'm not sure what our savings rate will be, but we're probably going to be saving over 40% of our gross income and tithing 10% of our takehome income as well. Right now we're doing about 13.5% of gross toward retirement and then saving for a down payment with the rest. We currently rent a 2 BR 1 BA apartment which has free internet and cable for $710/month. Our community is medium cost of living and we're going to try to get pregnant this year and not buy a house until Summer 2018. We have $10,000 in an emergency fund.

We saved up during the payoff and were thus prepared to replace his vehicle that went kaput in October. We bought a manual 2006 Saturn Ion with 30k miles on it for $5700 in cash a few days later. And for the record, we have one sofa which my husband's parents bought for him from Big Lots for $350 as an apartment warming present when he got his first job after school. We sold my couch on craigslist for $20 which I had bought for $20 from craigslist a couple years prior.

When we do buy a house, I'm planning on putting the Big Lots couch in the basement and buying a new couch for our future living room. The biggest benefit of being free from the debt we had was that we can decide together what our financial priorities are and plan for those in a responsible way.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Moustachienne on January 10, 2017, 12:24:29 PM
I've gone back and forth on whether beatles is a troll, I've gotta say.  Currently thinking he's not an intentional troll but his posts might as well be calculated to troll as they hit all the MMM spendypants, complainypants hot buttons.

There have been a lot of great, realistic suggestions for beatles on this thread, as well as some that are more out there but still fun, but he continues to post questions that read as if he hasn't taken anything in.  I don't get this.

Either you want to live within your means or you don't. If you do, there are a lot of good suggestions here and also on the MMM blog.  Start reading at the first article.  If you don't, well, OK.  No amount of querying specific bread, sofa, car starter purchases is going to change that.

I hope that you choose financial freedom for your family - but you are free not to.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 10, 2017, 12:27:48 PM
Quote
Because there are at least 4 people (2 posters and their spouse) in just the last 10 posts or so, that make over $300k per year

Sorry if I muddied the waters. We are above $300k a year household income, not individually. 12 years experience for each of us so we are a few years older than The Beatles.

On the used furniture: don't sit on a couch you buy off of Craigslist without putting on pants first. Problem solved! We recently bought dining room chairs from someone on Craigslist (we had been looking at new ones on ikea's website and then found the same thing used). We tooo the covers off, washed then, put them back on and now everything is great. You could consider a removable sofa cover if you really are that creeped out by the idea of someone else's Levi's.

For the record, I absolutely do not think he is a troll. He just is coming from a very different world view and having to make a lot of mental adjustments.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 12:32:36 PM
Not to make excuses (dont facepunch me!)

But...

The income talk should probably be had.

Because there are at least 4 people (2 posters and their spouse) in just the last 10 posts or so, that make over $300k per year.

So they can save 80% and STILL make what I make lol.

Big difference there.

I bet most people on this site have very large incomes that make this easier.

I don't have to apologize for working my arse off from undergrad to job(+ kids)  to job+grad school(+ kids)  to owning a business(+ kids)  to owning a business + grad school again(+ kids)  to just a job - and that is just me.  We did not start out at that income - that income represents a progression based on increasing education and experience in the very difficult fields we both chose to pursue. 

But despite our income increasing over the years - we still live in the same house we built 25 years ago. My car is a 2006.  My husband just sold his 2001.  Our "vacation home" is the small home I bought at the very bottom of the market when I was working remotely from home for six years, to save on rent.  In my "spare time" I gutted and remodeled it and it will become our main home when we sell the family home soon. But I bought the smallest home in the neighborhood when we could have bought the best and biggest in the neighborhood. And the gutting and remodel was all done in cash pay as you go.  So are the furnishings and everything inside.

And I'm a little over 20 years older than you - I assume that you expect people that have been working longer with more education and experience to make more than you?  I do have to say that we could have spent every penny - most of our friends have - but we've given generously to charity each year and saved for our future without work - supposing we can actually get health insurance now.  We've never spent more than we've earned - ever - even in the beginning when we weren't making much.  And, BTW, somehow we discovered that both of us working did net out to a positive even with child care.

And no - most people don't. We are in the top 1 % of earners.  As a matter of fact - you are in the top 18% of earners according to (http://blogs.wsj.com/economics/2016/03/02/what-percent-are-you-2/).

UH, what?

Who asked you to apologize?

Or even implied it?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Txtriathlete on January 10, 2017, 12:33:09 PM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

There are only two possible explanations for this thread...

Either "The Beatles" is a troll with lots of time on his hands OR he is the most ignorant, self-absorbed, immature, spoiled dumb*ass on this forum.

Wow.

Thanks.

Although kind of roughly worded, this is similar to what I have been thinking as I was reading through the past few posts about toy cars, car starters, couches and such. 

By now you should be developing a pretty clear picture of the folks you are interacting with on this site. As a marketer, part of your skill set should be "reading your audience".  These folks will not respond favorably to comments suggesting your garage is too full of stuff to use as a garage, purchasing other items to compensate for lack of garage space or any other consumerism. 

You painted a pretty dire situation at the outset of this posting.  You have been told many times "stop buying" and "sell shit".   How do you think folks will respond to comments that reflect "buy more shit"?

As for income, as others have said it's irrelevant. Your family only needs (needs) x amount of money to subsist per month. It of no consequence if you make 2x or 6x in income - x never changes. If it does this is called lifestyle creep and you need to shut it down and return to x. Anything above x is used for savings (debt repayment) until you are financially independent - I.e. 4% of your investments = x.  Then you can consider early retirement. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 12:33:46 PM
I've gone back and forth on whether beatles is a troll, I've gotta say.  Currently thinking he's not an intentional troll but his posts might as well be calculated to troll as they hit all the MMM spendypants, complainypants hot buttons.

There have been a lot of great, realistic suggestions for beatles on this thread, as well as some that are more out there but still fun, but he continues to post questions that read as if he hasn't taken anything in.  I don't get this.

Either you want to live within your means or you don't. If you do, there are a lot of good suggestions here and also on the MMM blog.  Start reading at the first article.  If you don't, well, OK.  No amount of querying specific bread, sofa, car starter purchases is going to change that.

I hope that you choose financial freedom for your family - but you are free not to.

There's over 8 pages and 300+ posts in this thread.

If you look back, I've already taken several steps.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 10, 2017, 12:34:08 PM
Not to make excuses (dont facepunch me!)

But...

The income talk should probably be had.

Because there are at least 4 people (2 posters and their spouse) in just the last 10 posts or so, that make over $300k per year.

So they can save 80% and STILL make what I make lol.

Big difference there.

I bet most people on this site have very large incomes that make this easier.

This is an excellent chance to offer perspective.

My household makes close to $500k a year. We have 2 couches. One I bought 15 years ago for $250 on clearance at TJMaxx because there was a scratch in it. We bought another a few years ago (and gave away the futon we have been using) from JCPenney. I think it was $750 or $800 delivered. My child has no motorized riding toys. Up until this Xmas, we had a single 15 year old TV. My dining room set, which is lovely, was bought used on Craigslist.

You would never know these things by walking in my house. The items are nice and well cared for. I am thrifty and look for deals, and save my money for things that are important. There is no couch on earth worth $2500 to me,

Very large incomes means nothing if you don't have the right attitude. However, as pointed out earlier - It's not how much money you make. It's how much you SPEND relative to what you earn.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 10, 2017, 12:38:02 PM
I just can't get over the thought of buying used furniture on Craigslist.

Every time I sat on the couch I would think of the fact that someone else probably had sex on this thing, or sat in their boxers on it sometime, or was scratching who knows what on it, or had their dog on it ... Etc.

That doesn't gross anyone out?
Earlier you mentioned you wanted a vacation in hawaii. Were you planning to stay in a hotel in hawaii? Were you planning to buy a brand new bed and furniture for your hotel room for the week you stay there, and pay for storage for the ones the hotel owns while you're there?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 10, 2017, 12:39:50 PM
I just can't get over the thought of buying used furniture on Craigslist.

Every time I sat on the couch I would think of the fact that someone else probably had sex on this thing, or sat in their boxers on it sometime, or was scratching who knows what on it, or had their dog on it ... Etc.

That doesn't gross anyone out?

Do you ever stay in hotels?  If you do, do you sleep in the bed?

If you don't have a problem with that, then you don't have a problem with used furniture. 

If it's cloth, have it steam cleaned.  If it's not, clean it by whatever method is appropriate.

Cost of furniture on Craigslist + cleaning cost is still WAY less--heck, an order or two of magnitude less--than new furniture.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 10, 2017, 12:43:57 PM
Earlier you mentioned you wanted a vacation in hawaii. Were you planning to stay in a hotel in hawaii? Were you planning to buy a brand new bed and furniture for your hotel room for the week you stay there, and pay for storage for the ones the hotel owns while you're there?

Do you ever stay in hotels?  If you do, do you sleep in the bed?

If you don't have a problem with that, then you don't have a problem with used furniture. 

If it's cloth, have it steam cleaned.  If it's not, clean it by whatever method is appropriate.

Cost of furniture on Craigslist + cleaning cost is still WAY less--heck, an order or two of magnitude less--than new furniture.

Great minds think alike.  :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Txtriathlete on January 10, 2017, 12:49:03 PM
I've gone back and forth on whether beatles is a troll, I've gotta say.  Currently thinking he's not an intentional troll but his posts might as well be calculated to troll as they hit all the MMM spendypants, complainypants hot buttons.

There have been a lot of great, realistic suggestions for beatles on this thread, as well as some that are more out there but still fun, but he continues to post questions that read as if he hasn't taken anything in.  I don't get this.

Either you want to live within your means or you don't. If you do, there are a lot of good suggestions here and also on the MMM blog.  Start reading at the first article.  If you don't, well, OK.  No amount of querying specific bread, sofa, car starter purchases is going to change that.

I hope that you choose financial freedom for your family - but you are free not to.

There's over 8 pages and 300+ posts in this thread.

If you look back, I've already taken several steps.

After 9 pages I think I need a recap. 

I saw "told office I'm not buying lunches anymore". Was there more?

What other action steps did I miss?

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 12:50:06 PM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

There are only two possible explanations for this thread...

Either "The Beatles" is a troll with lots of time on his hands OR he is the most ignorant, self-absorbed, immature, spoiled dumb*ass on this forum.

Wow.

Thanks.

Although kind of roughly worded, this is similar to what I have been thinking as I was reading through the past few posts about toy cars, car starters, couches and such. 

By now you should be developing a pretty clear picture of the folks you are interacting with on this site. As a marketer, part of your skill set should be "reading your audience".  These folks will not respond favorably to comments suggesting your garage is too full of stuff to use as a garage, purchasing other items to compensate for lack of garage space or any other consumerism. 

You painted a pretty dire situation at the outset of this posting.  You have been told many times "stop buying" and "sell shit".   How do you think folks will respond to comments that reflect "buy more shit"?

As for income, as others have said it's irrelevant. Your family only needs (needs) x amount of money to subsist per month. It of no consequence if you make 2x or 6x in income - x never changes. If it does this is called lifestyle creep and you need to shut it down and return to x. Anything above x is used for savings (debt repayment) until you are financially independent - I.e. 4% of your investments = x.  Then you can consider early retirement.

Ya wanna know what?

I've had enough.

You win.

Bye.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: YoungGranny on January 10, 2017, 12:54:14 PM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

There are only two possible explanations for this thread...

Either "The Beatles" is a troll with lots of time on his hands OR he is the most ignorant, self-absorbed, immature, spoiled dumb*ass on this forum.

Wow.

Thanks.

Although kind of roughly worded, this is similar to what I have been thinking as I was reading through the past few posts about toy cars, car starters, couches and such. 

By now you should be developing a pretty clear picture of the folks you are interacting with on this site. As a marketer, part of your skill set should be "reading your audience".  These folks will not respond favorably to comments suggesting your garage is too full of stuff to use as a garage, purchasing other items to compensate for lack of garage space or any other consumerism. 

You painted a pretty dire situation at the outset of this posting.  You have been told many times "stop buying" and "sell shit".   How do you think folks will respond to comments that reflect "buy more shit"?

As for income, as others have said it's irrelevant. Your family only needs (needs) x amount of money to subsist per month. It of no consequence if you make 2x or 6x in income - x never changes. If it does this is called lifestyle creep and you need to shut it down and return to x. Anything above x is used for savings (debt repayment) until you are financially independent - I.e. 4% of your investments = x.  Then you can consider early retirement.

Ya wanna know what?

I've had enough.

You win.

Bye.

In this case nobody can lose but you. Don't just say "bye". It's A LOT of information to take in and process, I get that. The baby steps and willingness to ask questions is great. You have a long journey ahead of you and for some of the more intense people on here it's hard for them to understand where you are. Let it soak in, process it, come back in a few weeks and tell us all the great changes you've made! You'll get more positive comments when people see that you've taken their advice to heart and are making changes, good luck! :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 10, 2017, 12:56:50 PM
Good luck, Beatles.  You can do it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Captain FIRE on January 10, 2017, 12:57:31 PM
You don't need to buy on craigslist if it weirds you out.  There's a lot of in between ground from "buy nothing" to "craigslist" to "carefully researched sale price of reasonably priced furniture bought with cash".  This is akin to letting the mirror shard story scare you away from making any changes at all.  But the point people are making is that you are living well beyond your means, and don't even seem to register or recognize it as an issue.  Case in point - wanting to buy a remote car starter - on credit - because you have too much stuff in the garage for you to park your car there.  Don't you see how very ironic that is?  I've lived in many cold places and I had to look up what a remote car starter even is.  Just go out to the car and turn it on yourself 5 minutes before you want to leave.  That's what my husband does when he wants to give us a nice treat on cold mornings.

You also seem comfortable relying on  your parents to support your daily lifestyle.  Don't you want to be independent and not rely on them anymore, standing on your own two feet as an adult?  And even if not, have you thought about whether you'll be able to pass this type of support on to your kids?  Do you think your parents would be disappointed that this type of intergenerational support will end with you, unless you change your ways?

Absolutely a high income makes saving easier and it can therefore be discouraging hearing advice from high income earners.  But having a low income actually provides the best incentive to live more carefully pay attention to your spending.  It's usually the high income people that are sloppier with spending because they have that option.  You don't.

Someone else posted this recently.  At the time it seemed a ridiculously obvious parody, but it rather seems like you genuinely believe in the couple's perspective:
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/dont-buy-stuff/n12020?snl=1

Also read Millionaire Next Door, which demonstrates that the people who have money do so because they aren't spending it to keep up with the Jones (and that economic outpatient support that your parents give you isn't healthy for you).

btw, keep the couches, you won't get much for them anyway I bet.  But put a price tag on them to remind you that they really cost $7k+, so you think about it the next time you buy something you want on credit you can't afford.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 10, 2017, 12:58:29 PM
Did you cancel your three monthly charges yet?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: katscratch on January 10, 2017, 01:03:14 PM
I have to admit--OP is getting ripped for "instant gratification," yet many people on here seem to want him to change his entire lifestyle overnight.

He's made a reasonable amount of changes from what I've seen--signing up for Mint, realizing how much money is going to groceries, organizing his credit card debts, etc. That's a lot for someone in his situation.

Most of the responses are asking him to change his entire worldview towards finances, and that's going to take time. It's why I've recommended "Your Money or Your Life" in multiple posts to OP--he needs a worldview change, and that takes a lot of time and effort.

I think month-by-month goals would be awesome, and I would recommend a journal. This thread seems to have caught a lot of steam so I think you'd have a lot of interest/support.

I was going to say this too.

beatles, your willingness and enthusiasm to change is pretty damn remarkable, especially if your peer group is used to the way you've been living.


I agree that cutting your food bill that much might be too hard and make you guys resent this whole thing -- I'd start with cutting out the junk food first.  Then start with SIMPLE meals from scratch at home like mac & cheese.  Whatever your family's version of comfort food is. 

It took me probably six months to be able to meal plan and cook all my meals without taking a really long time to do it.  I used to think that cooking doesn't come naturally to me - but it really doesn't for anyone, it's a learning process. 


Teach your kids to provide for themselves.  Be an example of manly manliness and on your days off bake cookies with the whole family, even little kids can measure flour and sugar.  Make a mess of it!  Your kids will remember THAT stuff way more than the number of couches they had growing up!!!



I also want to say to your wife:  MASSIVE KUDOS.  I'm guessing you guys have a pretty awesome relationship that she can jump on board so quickly, especially knowing you're posting here.  :)

oh geez! this got another page longer before I hit post! -- you've definitely roused the locals, beatles :) 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: charis on January 10, 2017, 01:04:39 PM
I feel like I know the answer but i'll ask anyway.

What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?

For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.

A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)

There are only two possible explanations for this thread...

Either "The Beatles" is a troll with lots of time on his hands OR he is the most ignorant, self-absorbed, immature, spoiled dumb*ass on this forum.

Wow.

Thanks.

Although kind of roughly worded, this is similar to what I have been thinking as I was reading through the past few posts about toy cars, car starters, couches and such. 

By now you should be developing a pretty clear picture of the folks you are interacting with on this site. As a marketer, part of your skill set should be "reading your audience".  These folks will not respond favorably to comments suggesting your garage is too full of stuff to use as a garage, purchasing other items to compensate for lack of garage space or any other consumerism. 

You painted a pretty dire situation at the outset of this posting.  You have been told many times "stop buying" and "sell shit".   How do you think folks will respond to comments that reflect "buy more shit"?

As for income, as others have said it's irrelevant. Your family only needs (needs) x amount of money to subsist per month. It of no consequence if you make 2x or 6x in income - x never changes. If it does this is called lifestyle creep and you need to shut it down and return to x. Anything above x is used for savings (debt repayment) until you are financially independent - I.e. 4% of your investments = x.  Then you can consider early retirement.

Ya wanna know what?

I've had enough.

You win.

Bye.

I find it interesting that this even-toned, honest post is the straw that broke the camel's back for you.  I think people might suspect trolling (myself included) because of stuff like asking when you should by a remoter starter and being surprised that people have less than two couches, without more explanation from you as to how you are changing your lifestyle.  It is very hard for a frugal-minded person to understand that you are being serious.  I wouldn't get too offended by it, people are genuinely unable to see things from your perspective.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Papa bear on January 10, 2017, 01:05:34 PM
I thought you only had 1 car from your previous posts.  You have 1 in garage and 1 needs remote start?  That's more than 1.

Good luck with everything. I'm interested to see how well you turn things around.



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 10, 2017, 01:06:04 PM
Best of luck and I hope you check back in with us soon! It is a lot of tough love and I admire you for soaking it all in. Take a break, breathe deeply, and tackle it again tomorrow. It is a long journey so do it at a pace that is sustainable to you.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: TheStachery on January 10, 2017, 01:07:01 PM

One last idea. Write a list of all the things you want. Hawaii vacation, car start, new car, new fishing pole, whatever. Then look through the list and show yourself that you don't need a single one of them.

LMAO!

I'm just imagining how that is going to go.


"Ok honey, think about the palm trees ... The warm breezy air ... The clear blue ocean ... The pina colada's. Thinking about all that now? OK... *slap* You dont need that! Now get back to chopping carrots"

I'm not sure i'd wake up the next day...

If you do a budget, it's not about saying no, it's about prioritizing your goals.  You want to go to Hawaii? Sure!   You and your wife have to cut back spending somewhere else. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 10, 2017, 01:12:05 PM

And then my wifes vehicle is in the other spot.

Wait, now you have two cars?  Is this one paid for?  Can you sell your's outright and make it on one vehicle for 6 months?  On days your wife can stay home, you could just take the car, on days that she needs to drive somewhere, she can drop you off at work and let you take Uber/Lyft home, or vis versa.  Even 4 trips per month by a ride service would save you money, car payment and insurance payments considered.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jon Bon on January 10, 2017, 01:21:24 PM
Journalist posing as a poster to write about the FIRE community?

I'm sure in 2 weeks or so we will see something click baity on HuffPo about how we are all a bunch of crazies.

Like think about it the pattern was repeating. He would give more information, we would all lose our minds.

I found Mint
Owe 50k to IRS
Parents will pay for roof
I need remote start
Ill go bankrupt then go to Hawaii
I financed furniture
And many more...
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 01:21:56 PM

And then my wifes vehicle is in the other spot.

Wait, now you have two cars?  Is this one paid for?  Can you sell your's outright and make it on one vehicle for 6 months?  On days your wife can stay home, you could just take the car, on days that she needs to drive somewhere, she can drop you off at work and let you take Uber/Lyft home, or vis versa.  Even 4 trips per month by a ride service would save you money, car payment and insurance payments considered.

I sent you, and others, a private message. We can continue talking on there if you'd like. I'm tired of being called a troll.

And yes, we have 2 cars. 1 is paid off a long time and 1 has 8-9 payments left.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 10, 2017, 01:22:53 PM
You don't need to buy on craigslist if it weirds you out.  There's a lot of in between ground from "buy nothing" to "craigslist" to "carefully researched sale price of reasonably priced furniture bought with cash".  This is akin to letting the mirror shard story scare you away from making any changes at all.
That's a valid point.

The couches are a sunk cost now, so what we're really arguing about is future expensive furniture purchases, and whether more $7,000 couches and such should be bought down the road, and whether anything else should be bought on credit. Anything that's a hard piece (bookcases, tables, etc) can certainly be bought or acquired used, and anything stuffed except maybe a mattress can be ikea-cheap - and probably should be, because nothing is sadder than spending thousands of dollars on a table only to have your toddler attack it with a sharpie (mine did this on our oak kitchen table). Or spill nail polish on it (my friend's foster daughter did that to a brand new upholstered couch). Or have a cat or dog scratch it up (both happened to my leather couch).

I understand needing to back away for a day or two if the thread is pissing you off, and it's a lot of face punches we're expecting you to thank us for. :)

But look at it this way - you're probably annoyed with the whole lot of us, but if all that's changed so far is that you stopped spending $150 a week buying lunch for people who can afford to buy their own, being active in this thread saved you almost $8000 a year - or $10000 if you use that money to pay off a high interest credit card debt. That's freaking amazing - for 3 days of arguing with our unreasonable asses, you netted as much as 2 months of full time work at your regular job!

You have to love us at least a little for that, no?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 10, 2017, 01:23:16 PM
Sorry Beatles.  I feel bad now, especially since apparently me and my mirror shard are pretty crazy.

Start a journal.  For some reason people are way nicer on journals.  No face punches at all!  We'll just cheer you on.  I guess here, in your case study, we want you to WAKE UP to a new way of seeing the world. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 10, 2017, 01:24:22 PM

And then my wifes vehicle is in the other spot.

Wait, now you have two cars?  Is this one paid for?  Can you sell your's outright and make it on one vehicle for 6 months?  On days your wife can stay home, you could just take the car, on days that she needs to drive somewhere, she can drop you off at work and let you take Uber/Lyft home, or vis versa.  Even 4 trips per month by a ride service would save you money, car payment and insurance payments considered.

I sent you, and others, a private message. We can continue talking on there if you'd like. I'm tired of being called a troll.

And yes, we have 2 cars. 1 is paid off a long time and 1 has 8-9 payments left.

You are welcome to message me as well.  I'm particularly good at finding links for people =) So any resources particularly, lemme know!

Wish you the best, either way.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 10, 2017, 01:27:26 PM
You can message me too, beatles! Talk about a late bloomer - my husband handled everything related to our financial life until about four years ago. So for the first twenty-four years of our marriage, I never paid a bill, checked a credit score, applied for a credit card, or handled any banking. Now I do all that for the begood family!

What I'm saying is we're all learning, and learning together can be really powerful.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: mustachepungoeshere on January 10, 2017, 01:32:13 PM
... Are you going to forever buy new cars because someone could have done something gross in it?

Don't give him ideas!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 10, 2017, 01:33:26 PM
Sorry Beatles.  I feel bad now, especially since apparently me and my mirror shard are pretty crazy.
I liked the story, FWIW. It's not something everyone's going to aspire to, but the extreme frugal stuff can help balance out the moderately frugal choices. If you feel like you're only getting a choice between fancy rosemary bread at $5/loaf, or cheap store bread at $1/loaf, the dollar bread can feel sad. If it's a choice though between those two options or growing your own wheat and handgrinding it to bake your own bread for free, that puts the middle choice of buying a normal loaf of bread into perspective. The normal loaf isn't an extreme sacrifice, it's just a routine purchase instead of a luxury one.

Same with your mirror - it makes it obvious that buying a cheapo mirror from target will get the job done without sacrificing any quality of life. 

Plus, I can't be the only one enjoying the image of you wandering around baja accosting people who are living beyond their means, and shanking them with your mirror shard.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 01:35:07 PM
^^ Thanks for the offer you two.

I'm hopping off for a bit, but I'll message you later.

For the rest of you, I want you to imagine something.

I want you to imagine that you wake up one day and you're tired of the way you're living.

You're tired of whatever it is that's causing you to live that way so you set out to change.

You Google a few things and it leads you to a website that shows you how to fix the problem in your life.

You find that this website has a message board where other people who had fixed the same problem you have, are discussing how great life is now without that problem.

So you join.

You spill your entire life to them. Your family, your finances, where you live, etc.

You're brand new to this and you dont understand a lot of the things they're telling you.

You try to grasp the concept but these are people who fixed the problem you are having years and years and years ago.

It's second hand nature to them.

To you, it's brand new.

You're a child, walking for the first time.

They are adults, running, doing marathons.

When you ask questions, you get sniped at for not knowing the answer.

For being so stupid to not understand.

For not realizing the intricacies of what you just learned 3 days prior.

You're called a troll. A dumbass.

How would you feel?

How long would you stick around?

Some of you are great people. But many of you, you're so used to this life that you dont realize that there are people who don't know the first thing about it.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: YoungGranny on January 10, 2017, 01:39:50 PM
^^ Thanks for the offer you two.

I'm hopping off for a bit, but I'll message you later.

For the rest of you, I want you to imagine something.

I want you to imagine that you wake up one day and you're tired of the way you're living.

You're tired of whatever it is that's causing you to live that way so you set out to change.

You Google a few things and it leads you to a website that shows you how to fix the problem in your life.

You find that this website has a message board where other people who had fixed the same problem you have, are discussing how great life is now without that problem.

So you join.

You spill your entire life to them. Your family, your finances, where you live, etc.

You're brand new to this and you dont understand a lot of the things they're telling you.

You try to grasp the concept but these are people who fixed the problem you are having years and years and years ago.

It's second hand nature to them.

To you, it's brand new.

You're a child, walking for the first time.

They are adults, running, doing marathons.

When you ask questions, you get sniped at for not knowing the answer.

For being so stupid to not understand.

For not realizing the intricacies of what you just learned 3 days prior.

You're called a troll. A dumbass.

How would you feel?

How long would you stick around?

Some of you are great people. But many of you, you're so used to this life that you dont realize that there are people who don't know the first thing about it.

I do appreciate this and if you want any answers on "stupid questions" feel free to message me. However, in their defense Mr. Money Mustache is known for his brutally honest, harsh, face-punches to get people to wake up NOW. We all appreciate where you are and when you start making changes, no matter how small they are, you'll find everyone has been on your side this whole time. It's just that right now, it's like a different language and it can be frustrating to learn it especially without a translator.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 10, 2017, 01:40:44 PM
MOD NOTE: OP has some good points, we can learn as a community from him, while he hopefully sticks around to learn from us. 

When you are responding, keep in mind the forum rules. Repeatedly calling someone a troll falls under the forum rule don't be a jerk. If you don't think it is worth it, or OP is not sincere, don't engage in the thread.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 10, 2017, 01:47:54 PM
Sorry Beatles.  I feel bad now, especially since apparently me and my mirror shard are pretty crazy.
I liked the story, FWIW. It's not something everyone's going to aspire to, but the extreme frugal stuff can help balance out the moderately frugal choices. If you feel like you're only getting a choice between fancy rosemary bread at $5/loaf, or cheap store bread at $1/loaf, the dollar bread can feel sad. If it's a choice though between those two options or growing your own wheat and handgrinding it to bake your own bread for free, that puts the middle choice of buying a normal loaf of bread into perspective. The normal loaf isn't an extreme sacrifice, it's just a routine purchase instead of a luxury one.

Same with your mirror - it makes it obvious that buying a cheapo mirror from target will get the job done without sacrificing any quality of life. 

Plus, I can't be the only one enjoying the image of you wandering around baja accosting people who are living beyond their means, and shanking them with your mirror shard.

Thanks jakejake.  Not to derail the thread too much, but I couldn't resist posting the picture of the offending mirror shard.  Cmon, It's a pretty decent shard!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: CheapScholar on January 10, 2017, 01:50:32 PM
Beatles, come back!  I believe you!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Ramblin' Ma'am on January 10, 2017, 01:55:19 PM
Hi beatles. I'll admit I started reading this because I was expecting it to be about Mustachian philosophy in Beatles lyrics or something like that. Then I got sucked in and read the whole thread in between doing actual work at my job. Good luck whether you come back to the thread or not.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Allie on January 10, 2017, 01:56:51 PM
That's a mighty fine mirror shard!

PM or head over to the journal section and post there.  You can find a few people you get along with and bumble along with rest of us!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 10, 2017, 01:57:23 PM
Thanks jakejake.  Not to derail the thread too much, but I couldn't resist posting the picture of the offending mirror shard.  Cmon, It's a pretty decent shard!
Ah, look at you, Ms. Fancypants, with your real glass for windows instead of saran wrap! ;)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: researcher1 on January 10, 2017, 02:04:26 PM
By now you should be developing a pretty clear picture of the folks you are interacting with on this site. As a marketer, part of your skill set should be "reading your audience".  These folks will not respond favorably to comments suggesting your garage is too full of stuff to use as a garage, purchasing other items to compensate for lack of garage space or any other consumerism. 

You painted a pretty dire situation at the outset of this posting.  You have been told many times "stop buying" and "sell shit".   How do you think folks will respond to comments that reflect "buy more shit"?

As for income, as others have said it's irrelevant. Your family only needs (needs) x amount of money to subsist per month. It of no consequence if you make 2x or 6x in income - x never changes. If it does this is called lifestyle creep and you need to shut it down and return to x. Anything above x is used for savings (debt repayment) until you are financially independent - I.e. 4% of your investments = x.  Then you can consider early retirement.

Ya wanna know what?
I've had enough.
You win.
Bye.

The Beatles -

Here are a few of the thoughts you've expressed AFTER seeking help for a serious financial mess, and AFTER receiving an avalanche of helpful/actionable advice...

- The thing is, $40k wouldn't put my parents in a bad spot.   It's not even robbing them of their retirement.  More like getting an inheritance early. 
- They've given us about $50k over the last few years.  They're awesome, and they're our fallback.
- Just last night our freezer was full so we started looking online for an extra freezer to put in the garage
- You only have one sofa in your house? There's one for the living room, sitting room, basement, and we were thinking about one for the bedroom.
- I’m honestly surprised.  I thought everyone has multiple couches.  We also have 3 tv's. Living room, basement and bedroom.
- What about expensive items that happen to be GREAT DEALS?  For example. I've needed a remote car starter for a while. We live in NY and get dumped on with snow.  A local place is offering a remote car starter for only $199. (usually $500)
- We do, but it's full of stuff.   Kids motorized jeeps, and sports equipment, and tools and so forth. Thats in 1 spot.  And then my wifes vehicle is in the other spot.
- Not to make excuses (dont facepunch me!)  But...  there are at least 4 people (2 posters and their spouse) in just the last 10 posts or so, that make over $300k per year.   So they can save 80% and STILL make what I make lol.  Big difference there.   I bet most people on this site have very large incomes that make this easier.


These are the reasons why many of us question whether you are serious.  At the very least, these comments indicate that you just don't get it (yet). 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marty998 on January 10, 2017, 02:10:40 PM
MOD NOTE: OP has some good points, we can learn as a community from him, while he hopefully sticks around to learn from us. 

When you are responding, keep in mind the forum rules. Repeatedly calling someone a troll falls under the forum rule don't be a jerk. If you don't think it is worth it, or OP is not sincere, don't engage in the thread.

Thanks Swick. Mr MM deals out brutally honest facepuches, but he is never a jerk about it.

Sometimes I wonder if we all have spent too much time in our own echo chamber, and we are surprised that there are people out there who live otherwise normal lives, except for their spending habits.

Mr Beatles seems like a decent enough person. I don't expect him to change overnight (or his wife for that matter). Honestly I would suggest, take a break, come back in 3 months and post an update.

For people here to expect everything to change overnight immediately with updates every hour I think is a bridge too far to ask.
 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: mustachepungoeshere on January 10, 2017, 02:18:22 PM
Sorry Beatles.  I feel bad now, especially since apparently me and my mirror shard are pretty crazy.
I liked the story, FWIW. It's not something everyone's going to aspire to, but the extreme frugal stuff can help balance out the moderately frugal choices. If you feel like you're only getting a choice between fancy rosemary bread at $5/loaf, or cheap store bread at $1/loaf, the dollar bread can feel sad. If it's a choice though between those two options or growing your own wheat and handgrinding it to bake your own bread for free, that puts the middle choice of buying a normal loaf of bread into perspective. The normal loaf isn't an extreme sacrifice, it's just a routine purchase instead of a luxury one.

Same with your mirror - it makes it obvious that buying a cheapo mirror from target will get the job done without sacrificing any quality of life. 

Plus, I can't be the only one enjoying the image of you wandering around baja accosting people who are living beyond their means, and shanking them with your mirror shard.

Thanks jakejake.  Not to derail the thread too much, but I couldn't resist posting the picture of the offending mirror shard.  Cmon, It's a pretty decent shard!

That's a lovely shard!

I loved your story, and jakejake's violent dramatic interpretation.

Also not meaning to derail but...

A couple of times a year we stay with a mate who has one mirror - in his bathroom. For these trips he could have 15 people staying with him, I'm used to braiding my hair in the middle of three guys brushing their teeth and shaving.

I get it - my friend lives alone for 350 nights a year so one mirror is fine.

But if he's not going to buy a second mirror, and I'm not going to buy a mirror for someone else's house...

My in-laws were planning to toss a mirror when they moved. Boom. Free mirror.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: katscratch on January 10, 2017, 02:22:02 PM
^^ Thanks for the offer you two.

I'm hopping off for a bit, but I'll message you later.

For the rest of you, I want you to imagine something.

I want you to imagine that you wake up one day and you're tired of the way you're living.

You're tired of whatever it is that's causing you to live that way so you set out to change.

You Google a few things and it leads you to a website that shows you how to fix the problem in your life.

You find that this website has a message board where other people who had fixed the same problem you have, are discussing how great life is now without that problem.

So you join.

You spill your entire life to them. Your family, your finances, where you live, etc.

You're brand new to this and you dont understand a lot of the things they're telling you.

You try to grasp the concept but these are people who fixed the problem you are having years and years and years ago.

It's second hand nature to them.

To you, it's brand new.

You're a child, walking for the first time.

They are adults, running, doing marathons.

When you ask questions, you get sniped at for not knowing the answer.

For being so stupid to not understand.

For not realizing the intricacies of what you just learned 3 days prior.

You're called a troll. A dumbass.

How would you feel?

How long would you stick around?

Some of you are great people. But many of you, you're so used to this life that you dont realize that there are people who don't know the first thing about it.

The fact you take the time to thoughtfully respond shows a lot about your character.

I think it's impressive you're open to changing your entire worldview to make a better life for your family.  I think a lot of times people use language that gets the point across, rather than as if we were having a conversation with each other.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't and can have the opposite effect of helping inspire someone.

To ME you are living a very typical American lifestyle.  So yeah, this is a huge mindshift for you to come here and be open to a different way of living.

The first time I was exposed to MMM's ideas it was a link a thread on the forums sent to me by a friend.  I've always lived fairly simply, more from a hippie-ish social group than from being good with my money, and I was so turned off by the judgmental attitudes from a few people I clicked out and didn't come back for years until I ran across an actual MMM article.

This pretty much sums up my feelings too: 
"Thanks Swick. Mr MM deals out brutally honest facepuches, but he is never a jerk about it."

One thing that took me a long time to figure out when I've looked for ideas about something in my life is that you have to sort out what works for you and what doesn't.  Take the parts that make sense to you right now and apply those, then slowly add to your changes as you develop those new money skills.  Some of the things I tried in the past to 'fix' my finances didn't work and some things that seemed impossible are pretty easy for me to do now.  You're on the right path already by just researching ideas in the first place!



I also agree that you should start a journal. 

:)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 10, 2017, 02:23:23 PM
I think the disconnect is in part because he's accustomed to getting into debt and being bailed out, whereas we've been internalizing the "hair-on-fire debt emergency" language.

Beatle: I like to set all the rooms on fire at once every day! And the driveway too! I see big flames, they're exciting, I enjoy them! Sometimes the fire department comes and saves us, but then I can start new fires!

MMMs: NO! Put the matches down now! Connect the hose to the hydrant and start spraying everything down!

The voice of moderation, as perceived by forum members: He can't change all at once! For now, just pick one room in your house that you don't set on fire - you can stop setting fire to the other rooms in a couple months!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: mustachepungoeshere on January 10, 2017, 02:24:50 PM
I think the disconnect is in part because he's accustomed to getting into debt and being bailed out, whereas we've been internalizing the "hair-on-fire debt emergency" language.

Beatle: I like to set all the rooms on fire at once every day! And the driveway too! I see big flames, they're exciting, I enjoy them! Sometimes the fire department comes and saves us, but then I can start new fires!

MMMs: NO! Put the matches down now! Connect the hose to the hydrant and start spraying everything down!

The voice of moderation, as perceived by forum members: He can't change all at once! For now, just pick one room in your house that you don't set on fire - you can stop setting fire to the other rooms in a couple months!

Damn you crack me up.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: researcher1 on January 10, 2017, 02:27:12 PM
For people here to expect everything to change overnight immediately with updates every hour I think is a bridge too far to ask.

I don't think anyone expects him to change immediately overnight.

However, just TODAY he asked about spending $200 on a "great deal" remote car starter, since there is too much junk littering the garage to park his vehicle inside!!!

I understand this is all completely new to him.  But a grown adult in his financial position, after receiving all of the advice he's been given, still wonders if it is OK to spend $200 on more consumer crap???
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Pizzabrewer on January 10, 2017, 02:39:15 PM
Quote

Ya wanna know what?

I've had enough.

You win.

Bye.

Sigh.

There's no winners and no losers here.  I'm pretty sure everyone wants you to straighten out your financial mess.

You have 2 ways to go.  Start climbing out of your hole or keep digging it deeper.  It's up to you.

If your parents can bail you out indefinitely, well I'd say good for you and your family.  It's not what most here would want to do but if your folks can float your boat, who's to say no?  Other than you??

Good luck.  From your posts I'm pretty sure I live within 10 miles of you.  I'll buy you a beer anytime you want.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cowardly Toaster on January 10, 2017, 02:45:51 PM
For people here to expect everything to change overnight immediately with updates every hour I think is a bridge too far to ask.

I don't think anyone expects him to change immediately overnight.

However, just TODAY he asked about spending $200 on a "great deal" remote car starter, since there is too much junk littering the garage to park his vehicle inside!!!

I understand this is all completely new to him.  But a grown adult in his financial position, after receiving all of the advice he's been given, still wonders if it is OK to spend $200 on more consumer crap???

I think a lot of Americans, including me at one time, don't understand how small expenses stack up into big ones. As in, they literally don't comprehend the math. It's "only $200!" So it's understandable of him to think this way. I think he's snapping out of it though.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cranky on January 10, 2017, 02:50:29 PM
Back to your question on how someone earns so much money, I can't answer for that particular poster, but we earn more than that by being two engineers in a HCOL area. There is a separate thread around here for "what do you do and how much do you earn?" that you might find interesting when you need a little down time.

What type of engineer?

I have two friends. One is an electrical engineer and the other is a software engineer.

Both make under 100k.

It may be our area though.

It does seem to be industry and area dependent - I know loads of engineers, and they make a comfortable living, but no $150,000 each. OTOH, for $500,00 in my area, I would expect to not only get a really, really enormous house, but a couple of serfs to go with it. ;-)

I'm a softy - I don't think you need to sell the kids' little electric cars. (I didn't buy those for my kids, and in retrospect, I might do that if I had it to do over again.) But it does say to me that your kids don't need a lot of "activities" - they should have plenty to do at home.

Also, you should spend some time cleaning your garage.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 10, 2017, 02:58:40 PM
Beatles, I understand the impulse to spend money now to save money later.  I'm guilty of that as well.  Sometimes I'll think, well if I buy this fancy water thermos then I won't have to buy bottled water. There's a million examples like that one, but you get the idea. 

But in your case, we call that an "emergency" (did anyone link to the blog post yet?). An emergency means STOP all extra spending, even dessert and wine, and get out of the emergency.

Anyway, I want you to know that this thread has been inspiring to me!  Thank you for that!  I've loved a lot of the frugal grocery advice, because I can do better there.  And I do buy my kids treats at the store.  Since reading this thread, my husband and I have shifted our shopping around so that I can do it without having to listen to whining and say no a million times and deal with the fall-out.  We're all learning together here!

After all the talk about how your wife needs to step up, I've identified areas that I could step up, and just yesterday I mended my boys' school uniforms!  Yay me!  I've been wanting to mend forever because I know that being frugal with clothes means helping them last longer, but I've just been scared to get started.  You and this thread helped me overcome my inertia, so thank you for that.

I'd love for you to stop by my journal for an example of super frugal living not by choice.  We are waaaay low on the income spectrum, about $20k/year.  Anyway, thanks for the inspiration.  It's a journey, and as others have mentioned, you get good at one thing, and once that's easy, you can move on to the next thing, and before you know it, you're spending waayy less than you earn.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Txtriathlete on January 10, 2017, 03:03:12 PM
Beatles, I'm really sorry it was my post that put you over the edge.  After reading your follow on posts and rethinking some of what you stated in earlier posts, I can see now that you were only "window shopping" debt free frugal living. I completely understand. It's a big change. I guess in my mind I thought you were further along in the process and ready for action. And I think that was my disconnect between what was being offered and your responses. Somehow I expected you to be more acclimated to the conversation I guess. I can see how coming on here cold turkey would be off putting.  On the other hand, kudos to you for not being a lurker and diving right in.

After you mull over this idea of debt free a bit, I hope you will find a fianancial mentor or coach. Not an investments advisor, but someone who can work with you daily to help you understand the impact of these thousand little paper cut decisions. I've been where you are and in retrospect, I wasn't all that willing to change initially either. it's a big adjustment.

Good luck.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 10, 2017, 03:05:05 PM
Beatles - I actually think that you and your wife need counseling.  You were raised in an affluent family and never lacked for anything and your mother and father have been bailing you out ever since.  You don't know a different life - and you sincerely don't understand why you can't and shouldn't continue to take an early inheritance from your parents. 

On the other hand - I was raised in a family that was poor.  I had to learn early to take care of myself.  I never want to be that poor again.  So my life reflects that in a few notable ways.  First - I would be nothing without the support of the fantastic community wherever I was growing up.  I honor that by allocating 20-40% of our income to charitable giving.  I would be nothing if it weren't for the help and support of many people along the way. I hope that each and every one of them would be proud of me for what I've accomplished and for my deeply held belief that I need to give back.  Second - I don't short shrift the IRS.  I know you cannot get away with it so I don't try - and that goes for all of the other taxes including massive property taxes here in Texas.  Third - we shove money into SEPs, 401Ks, after tax IRAs that got to Roths, etc. We do this so we can have a happy retirement, if there are health insurance options, soon.  Finally - we live on whatever is left.  And we manage to save a little of that too.

I can see that you'll never understand my perspective.  I'll certainly never understand yours.  But we could possibly agree that if after paying for what you have to pay - the IRS, SS, Medicare, State tax, local tax, and property tax - you can only spend what is left and not a cent more.  That is good place to start. 

If you don't embrace this soon - I fear you'll end up like others I've seen inherit a fortune and blow through it a couple of years.  Without some discipline now - you will do the same thing.  Do you want your children feeling the way you feel?  You are teaching them a lifestyle that will result in that.  The solution is within you and your wife's control.  It is like talking to an alcoholic or drug addict.  They cannot imagine life without alcohol or drugs - the fear it within the core of their being.  Your addiction is spending beyond your means and you cannot imagine life without it.  You both have to want to live within in your means for it to work. 

I wish you both good luck.  And I'd like to report on something.  I give up alcohol for a month at least once a year.  For the month of April this year - I'm going to adopt what we think your grocery budget should be for our family for the month.  Its been a long time since I've had to budget shop at the grocery store - so it is going to be hard.  But I'm going to do it to remind me that I can do it.  Most people do it here all of the time. 

I hope you manage to have a good life.  I do hope you resolve to teach your kids financial responsibility and thus freedom. 

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 03:06:34 PM

Sigh.

There's no winners and no losers here.  I'm pretty sure everyone wants you to straighten out your financial mess.

You have 2 ways to go.  Start climbing out of your hole or keep digging it deeper.  It's up to you.

If your parents can bail you out indefinitely, well I'd say good for you and your family.  It's not what most here would want to do but if your folks can float your boat, who's to say no?  Other than you??

Good luck.  From your posts I'm pretty sure I live within 10 miles of you.  I'll buy you a beer anytime you want.

Fairport?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 03:11:46 PM
Beatles, I'm really sorry it was my post that put you over the edge.  After reading your follow on posts and rethinking some of what you stated in earlier posts, I can see now that you were only "window shopping" debt free frugal living. I completely understand. It's a big change. I guess in my mind I thought you were further along in the process and ready for action. And I think that was my disconnect between what was being offered and your responses. Somehow I expected you to be more acclimated to the conversation I guess. I can see how coming on here cold turkey would be off putting.  On the other hand, kudos to you for not being a lurker and diving right in.

After you mull over this idea of debt free a bit, I hope you will find a fianancial mentor or coach. Not an investments advisor, but someone who can work with you daily to help you understand the impact of these thousand little paper cut decisions. I've been where you are and in retrospect, I wasn't all that willing to change initially either. it's a big adjustment.

Good luck.

I appreciate that.
Thanks.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Pizzabrewer on January 10, 2017, 03:12:14 PM

Sigh.

There's no winners and no losers here.  I'm pretty sure everyone wants you to straighten out your financial mess.

You have 2 ways to go.  Start climbing out of your hole or keep digging it deeper.  It's up to you.

If your parents can bail you out indefinitely, well I'd say good for you and your family.  It's not what most here would want to do but if your folks can float your boat, who's to say no?  Other than you??

Good luck.  From your posts I'm pretty sure I live within 10 miles of you.  I'll buy you a beer anytime you want.

Fairport?

Nope.  I guess we're further.  Liverpool.

PF Changs and Dave & Busters had me thinking you were at Destiny.  Which is where I work.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 10, 2017, 03:12:52 PM
Dear Mr. Beatles

I think you thought we all asked you to jump off the end of the dock into deep water instead of wading in the shallows.  Some of us did, some of us suggested getting a toe wet, some of us suggested ankles/knees, etc.  But we may have been somewhat overwhelming as a group.

You seem to think you have a bit of a cash flow problem (as far as I can tell) while we were all seeing hair on fire debt emergency.  Different world views. Since I have heard that the Canada Revenue Agency is nicer to deal with than the IRS, and you have the IRS breathing down your neck, I took you seriously.

I hope you read the MMM Blogs before coming back here.  Mr. MM articulates things very clearly.  He is aiming at fairly high-income readers, but he would certainly put you in that group.  There have been much more frugal forums online than this one.   I hope you lurk and start to see where we were coming from.  I'm sorry your wife never came on, because you are in this as a couple.  I hope she lurks too.

For the record, the most I ever made in a year was $80,000 CAN (which is about $60,450 US at the moment), I went through a prolonged and expensive divorce, and I am financially OK and retired.  So it is certainly doable on a salary well under yours.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 03:22:43 PM

Sigh.

There's no winners and no losers here.  I'm pretty sure everyone wants you to straighten out your financial mess.

You have 2 ways to go.  Start climbing out of your hole or keep digging it deeper.  It's up to you.

If your parents can bail you out indefinitely, well I'd say good for you and your family.  It's not what most here would want to do but if your folks can float your boat, who's to say no?  Other than you??

Good luck.  From your posts I'm pretty sure I live within 10 miles of you.  I'll buy you a beer anytime you want.

Fairport?

Nope.  I guess we're further.  Liverpool.

PF Changs and Dave & Busters had me thinking you were at Destiny.  Which is where I work.

Still, not far.

I pass you on the way to SU games.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Pizzabrewer on January 10, 2017, 03:24:02 PM

Sigh.

There's no winners and no losers here.  I'm pretty sure everyone wants you to straighten out your financial mess.

You have 2 ways to go.  Start climbing out of your hole or keep digging it deeper.  It's up to you.

If your parents can bail you out indefinitely, well I'd say good for you and your family.  It's not what most here would want to do but if your folks can float your boat, who's to say no?  Other than you??

Good luck.  From your posts I'm pretty sure I live within 10 miles of you.  I'll buy you a beer anytime you want.

Fairport?

Nope.  I guess we're further.  Liverpool.

PF Changs and Dave & Busters had me thinking you were at Destiny.  Which is where I work.

Still, not far.

I pass you on the way to SU games.

Beer's on me if you want.  For real.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 03:24:34 PM
Dear Mr. Beatles

I think you thought we all asked you to jump off the end of the dock into deep water instead of wading in the shallows.  Some of us did, some of us suggested getting a toe wet, some of us suggested ankles/knees, etc.  But we may have been somewhat overwhelming as a group.

You seem to think you have a bit of a cash flow problem (as far as I can tell) while we were all seeing hair on fire debt emergency.  Different world views. Since I have heard that the Canada Revenue Agency is nicer to deal with than the IRS, and you have the IRS breathing down your neck, I took you seriously.

I hope you read the MMM Blogs before coming back here.  Mr. MM articulates things very clearly.  He is aiming at fairly high-income readers, but he would certainly put you in that group.  There have been much more frugal forums online than this one.   I hope you lurk and start to see where we were coming from.  I'm sorry your wife never came on, because you are in this as a couple.  I hope she lurks too.

For the record, the most I ever made in a year was $80,000 CAN (which is about $60,450 US at the moment), I went through a prolonged and expensive divorce, and I am financially OK and retired.  So it is certainly doable on a salary well under yours.

To be clear, the facepunches weren't my issue.

Those were fine.

Tough love is fine.

I took exception to be calling a troll when I've been here for several hours each day trying to learn.

Talk to an artist about brush patterns and technique, and they will listen. Tell them that they are a fake and they will punch you.

Sort of like that.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 10, 2017, 03:25:20 PM

Sigh.

There's no winners and no losers here.  I'm pretty sure everyone wants you to straighten out your financial mess.

You have 2 ways to go.  Start climbing out of your hole or keep digging it deeper.  It's up to you.

If your parents can bail you out indefinitely, well I'd say good for you and your family.  It's not what most here would want to do but if your folks can float your boat, who's to say no?  Other than you??

Good luck.  From your posts I'm pretty sure I live within 10 miles of you.  I'll buy you a beer anytime you want.

Fairport?

Nope.  I guess we're further.  Liverpool.

PF Changs and Dave & Busters had me thinking you were at Destiny.  Which is where I work.

Still, not far.

I pass you on the way to SU games.

Beer's on me if you want.  For real.

Next time I head up!

Appreciate the offer.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: katscratch on January 10, 2017, 03:38:37 PM
Here's the post a couple people have referred to - I'm only a few months into this, and I've read it more than once in that time. 

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/04/18/news-flash-your-debt-is-an-emergency/ (http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/04/18/news-flash-your-debt-is-an-emergency/)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyMuMu on January 10, 2017, 04:24:55 PM
I echo the others who say that this thread has alerted me to some slipping back into useless spendy ways. I almost felt like I needed to write a disclaimer on all my grocery posts. See back when we earned $40K per year for a family of four, I was a MUCH more effective homemaker. I made a price book. I meal planned everything. We NEVER went out to eat. We managed to be completely debt free including our house.

About 10 years later we're still debt free but certainly a bit bloated in the food budget. This sort of thing takes constant vigilance. Be gentle with your wife. She's about to have to earn a self-taught masters of home economics with two kids on her hips. It can be fun to be sure, but it's still work. I hope she joins. I'd love to help her out.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 10, 2017, 04:37:54 PM
I echo the others who say that this thread has alerted me to some slipping back into useless spendy ways. I almost felt like I needed to write a disclaimer on all my grocery posts. See back when we earned $40K per year for a family of four, I was a MUCH more effective homemaker. I made a price book. I meal planned everything. We NEVER went out to eat. We managed to be completely debt free including our house.

About 10 years later we're still debt free but certainly a bit bloated in the food budget. This sort of thing takes constant vigilance. Be gentle with your wife. She's about to have to earn a self-taught masters of home economics with two kids on her hips. It can be fun to be sure, but it's still work. I hope she joins. I'd love to help her out.

Yep, this thread (plus uber frugal month with the frugalwoods) is really inspiring me to redouble my grocery efforts. We're a lot better than we *used to be*- literally half that, but still nowhere near mustachian levels =\
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Moustachienne on January 10, 2017, 04:45:31 PM
Here's the post a couple people have referred to - I'm only a few months into this, and I've read it more than once in that time. 

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/04/18/news-flash-your-debt-is-an-emergency/ (http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/04/18/news-flash-your-debt-is-an-emergency/)

This post is always gold and the Harvard Debt Repayment blog linked at the end of the article is great too.  Think about your Whys, then your Hows, and then your Whats is a great way to define about your values, actions, and outcomes - from his last April 2016 post - https://nomoreharvarddebt.com
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: NowClear on January 10, 2017, 07:04:18 PM
like others, i'll commend you for spending so much time in the threads. it's an important first step.

one recommendation i might make is to check out You Need a Budget. it's like mint in that it will help you see where your money is going, but it will also--and more importantly--help you plan where your money should go.

what i like about YNAB is that the budget doesn't judge you if what you really want is a trip to hawaii or 8 million couches. you can make as many budget categories for things as you want. but it does help you see that each dollar can only do one thing: you can spend this dollar on groceries OR you can spend it on paying off debt OR you can spend it on home improvement OR you can save it for a rainy day, but it can't do all of those things.

for me, i used to spend a lot of money on upgrading furniture. i'd see the money in my checking account and then spend it--often to snag a "great deal." then some "unexpected" expense would come up and i'd have no money to cover it, so i'd put it on my credit cards.

when i started YNAB, i made a budget for furniture, and also for debt pay off and the "unexpected" expenses like renters insurance and a few other things I wanted. when i'd go to assign all of my dollars to their jobs i discovered a few things:


the point is: you do need to change how you think about money. that doesn't mean you have to give up everything you've ever wanted (although the next two years will be necessarily tighter). but you need to (with your wife) decide what *really* matters to you and then make a plan to achieve that. YNAB can help! they also have nice forums and several classes if you want to hear from different (and in some ways, less hardcore) groups of people.

https://www.youneedabudget.com/
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Lumberjack on January 10, 2017, 07:05:45 PM
Here's the post a couple people have referred to - I'm only a few months into this, and I've read it more than once in that time. 

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/04/18/news-flash-your-debt-is-an-emergency/ (http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/04/18/news-flash-your-debt-is-an-emergency/)

Supplemental interview with MMM by the owner of a software company that a lot of MMMers use for budgeting: https://www.youneedabudget.com/jesse-and-mr-money-mustache-part-2-your-debt-is-a-swarm-of-killer-bees-cove/
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 10, 2017, 07:14:27 PM
You might also enjoy the blogs by Mr. MM's friend Frugal Toque.

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/category/mr-frugal-toque/ (http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/category/mr-frugal-toque/)

PS  One (2?) people wondered if you were trolling, the vast vast majority were supportive.  Stick around and join us in financial freedom and general badassity.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: sonjak on January 10, 2017, 08:26:19 PM
Beatles, I'm doing the Uber Frugal challenge this month.  I checked out the book "The $1,000 Challenge" from the library for some tips and inspiration.  I think it might be great for you as it seems to have a lot of the more "middle of the road" suggestions that will help you and your wife stretch but not feel so overwhelmed or confused by what is suggested.  He does a good job of explaining why for everything and has a sense of humor I think you would appreciate (based on your "sell the dog" joke).

If you're open to any additional feedback: I would comment that many of your posts are very brief and do not address the questions that were asked (in some cases repeatedly and by several posters).  I wondered if you were capable of writing a more in-depth post.  (I know many people aren't and shouldn't be criticized for it.)  But then you did write a long post to defend yourself, which means you can.  So, my suggestion, if you are open to it and want to continue to dialogue here, would be to write a little more thoroughly in answer to questions or to explain your goals or steps you have taken.  I think it will leave less confusion or questions on the part of people who are genuinely trying to help you.

************************

I agree with so many other posters in thanking everyone for the all the comments.  This thread has been really motivational and interesting for me to read.  So many good suggestions.  As Bracken_Joy said, more fire in the belly to up the grocery budget game.  Although I already do most of my cooking, and buy very few things packaged, there are more things I could address, for sure.  Inspired by all the homemaking by 1967mama, I enjoyed the mirror shard story by LadyStache and the power of contentment with what you have and the ways that many folks have made due or re purposed items (like pbkmaine's dining/sleeping area conversion) they've acquired to achieve high levels of savings. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: aceyou on January 10, 2017, 08:38:12 PM

This is actually part of the reason why my wife says  it's hard to keep our grocery budget down.

She doesn't let them sit in front of the TV, they're always out doing things which creates 2 problems.

1) She packs snacks, but they run out and then are hungry.

2) She's gone all day doing activities with them, which gives no time (and energy) for making food.


Your wife can solve #2 with one change.  She shouldn't be out ALL day doing activities with the kids...cooking/baking/putting together the food beforehand a PART OF THE ACTIVITY, and it's the funnest part.  Once they are 2 years old, there's something they can do.  Heck, my 20 month old will "help" me stir and pour things and she'll throw things in the trash for me, haha!  I cook with her just about every single day, as well as my 4 year old.

This is a multiplier effect too...and it goes WAY beyond the money.  Your children will be learning very valuable skills.  Cooking teaches math and art.  There's often reading involved/critical thinking skills/conversions/logic.  As they grow, they will learn where food comes from, how to optimize for nutrition, calories, and your budget at the same time.  Also, you play music, so it's a time to dance and sing and laugh. 

Join the party!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BlueHouse on January 10, 2017, 09:13:14 PM

Not to make excuses (dont facepunch me!)

But...

I bet most people on this site have very large incomes that make this easier.

There are also a lot of people here who didn't have supportive parents or who had very bad or abusive childhoods or who are disabled.  Would you trade any of those scenarios for a high income?  We all have our crosses to bear and we never know what the other person has had to deal with to get where they are.  This group tends to look at the bright side of things and we tend to see the good in all the hurdles we've run through (what doesn't kill us, makes us stronger). 

I do hope you stick around;  What you learn can make a huge difference in stopping the stress regarding finances. 

You've been given a boatload of reading suggestions!  I'm three years in and I'm still not caught up with all the "must-reads".   Some of them are just so old, I can't imagine that there's anything in them that isn't paraphrased in these forums somewhere.  Maybe I'll get there and maybe I won't. 

And to the poster who has suggested the same reading material many multiple times in this thread -- it's been THREE DAYS.  Give the guy a chance!  Sheesh, he probably doesn't even have a library card yet!

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Noodle on January 10, 2017, 09:26:44 PM
One question I have not seen asked yet--how experienced at cooking are you and especially your wife? There's no point telling you to make your own bread and yogurt from scratch right now if you're at the "boil pasta, add sauce" level. There are still ways to cook and shop more efficiently, but I would give different advice depending on the experience level.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: 1967mama on January 10, 2017, 10:28:35 PM
One question I have not seen asked yet--how experienced at cooking are you and especially your wife? There's no point telling you to make your own bread and yogurt from scratch right now if you're at the "boil pasta, add sauce" level. There are still ways to cook and shop more efficiently, but I would give different advice depending on the experience level.



+1 to this! Great question! You can only start from where you are, right?

💙💚💜❤️
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marty998 on January 10, 2017, 11:45:56 PM
One question I have not seen asked yet--how experienced at cooking are you and especially your wife? There's no point telling you to make your own bread and yogurt from scratch right now if you're at the "boil pasta, add sauce" level. There are still ways to cook and shop more efficiently, but I would give different advice depending on the experience level.

I'm embarrassed now because I'm at that stage!

Do I have to make the pasta and sauce myself from elemental ingredients or is it acceptable to buy the pasta and sauce and just toss it in the saucepan?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 11, 2017, 01:13:36 AM
One question I have not seen asked yet--how experienced at cooking are you and especially your wife? There's no point telling you to make your own bread and yogurt from scratch right now if you're at the "boil pasta, add sauce" level. There are still ways to cook and shop more efficiently, but I would give different advice depending on the experience level.

I'm embarrassed now because I'm at that stage!

Do I have to make the pasta and sauce myself from elemental ingredients or is it acceptable to buy the pasta and sauce and just toss it in the saucepan?

The latter, because there is no economic advantage to making pasta from scratch.  The machines that make pasta do it too well for any homemaker to compete.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: mustachepungoeshere on January 11, 2017, 01:47:02 AM
One question I have not seen asked yet--how experienced at cooking are you and especially your wife? There's no point telling you to make your own bread and yogurt from scratch right now if you're at the "boil pasta, add sauce" level. There are still ways to cook and shop more efficiently, but I would give different advice depending on the experience level.

I'm embarrassed now because I'm at that stage!

Do I have to make the pasta and sauce myself from elemental ingredients or is it acceptable to buy the pasta and sauce and just toss it in the saucepan?

The latter, because there is no economic advantage to making pasta from scratch.  The machines that make pasta do it too well for any homemaker to compete.

No economic advantage, but there are other advantages. Taste, texture, satisfaction at hard work, pleasure at learning a new skill, and pride in feeding people an amazing pasta dish with just half a dozen ingredients.

I make it from scratch a couple of dozen times a year. I once hand-made tortellini for 14 guests for my own birthday...

Anyway Marty, my machine is here if you want it. (I say this knowing you will never take me up on it!)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marty998 on January 11, 2017, 02:05:36 AM
One question I have not seen asked yet--how experienced at cooking are you and especially your wife? There's no point telling you to make your own bread and yogurt from scratch right now if you're at the "boil pasta, add sauce" level. There are still ways to cook and shop more efficiently, but I would give different advice depending on the experience level.

I'm embarrassed now because I'm at that stage!

Do I have to make the pasta and sauce myself from elemental ingredients or is it acceptable to buy the pasta and sauce and just toss it in the saucepan?

The latter, because there is no economic advantage to making pasta from scratch.  The machines that make pasta do it too well for any homemaker to compete.

Yes... but I am trying to take note of all the added sugar and salt warnings that are permeating this thread. If you make it yourself you can control exactly what goes in it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 11, 2017, 04:02:45 AM

I never learned to cook as a kid.  I lived pretty much from prepackaged food and eating out.  When I turned 30, a friend of mine gave me a good pie plate, a dozen eggs, some vegetables, some cheese, and a little carton of cream.  She came over to my house and showed me how to make a quiche.  It was easy and forgiving (you pour the ingredients in the pie shell and bake.  Five minutes more or less in the oven won't ruin it).   I started making it once a week for dinner, with various meat and vegetables in it.  From there I got the confidence to try other things like soups and stir fries.   Best birthday gift ever.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 11, 2017, 06:02:31 AM
We racked it back up because we bought a new house.
No, not really.  You racked it up because you had to have everything in that house shiny and new and perfect, and so you bought moldings and new sofas when you could have made done with some paint and craigslist for furniture.


Beatles, here's some perspective for you.  The only debt we have is a 30k mortgage (0% interest loan from grandma which we are paying back monthly).  Even still, we don't own a couch because we don't have the money!  Or we do have the money, but we are choosing to spend that money on our investments, not our current comfort. 

I'm posting a picture of our "family room".  It's in quotes, because we (a family of SIX) don't even have a living room.  We have a kitchen and a bedroom.  In our kitchen is a hard-bench picnic table.  It serves as our table and also as our "couch" in the evenings when we watch tv. 

If you look carefully up on the shelf to the left is our TV, the SMALLEST (and cheapest) one they had at the store.  We use it with a chromecast ($30 bucks) to watch Netflix ($10/month).  We have no other cable other than that. 

We sit on our picnic table bench, lean back against the wall, and put our feet up on the bench.  What luxury!  But hey, learning to be a frugal god feels better than drowning in debt.  Learning to MAKE DO feels good, like the way you feel after a hard workout.

And, when our butts get tired from being on the hard bench at night, then guess what, that means it's time to stop watching TV (waste of time anyway) and GO TO BED, not look into buying a couch.

Wowzer.

I think my kids would revolt!
Not really.  Kids under the age of six can't really revolt.  YOU are the boss of the kids, remember?  At the most, they can pout for a few days, at most.  And as adults, you can just wait out the pouting.  Really, just don't back down.
Personally, I would just eliminate tv altogether for a couple of years, then they might truly enjoy an occasional show.  I did this with my kids, and they totally aced school (and athletics. and music).  I realize this might be too hardcore even for the MMM crowd, but just saying.

LadyStache rocks.

It doesn't really feel like were the boss all the time.

That sounds like how you feel about money, too. Guess what? Not only are you the boss, your family needs you (plural, including your wife) to be the boss.

OK, so now you really need to read Janet Lansbury.  I'll give you a quick summary.  Kids need you to be in charge and need to know that their emotions are ok.  When they have a tantrum, they need to know that it doesn't phase you (even though it might be driving you nuts), because you're in charge.  If you start bending over backwards for every whim ("no, I want my milk in the blue cup") then that's scary for them because it means they're in charge, and they know they don't know what they're doing.  Get it?

So when they say "no i want my milk in the blue cup" you say, "you can have it in this red cup I've already poured or you can have no milk".  they might scream and throw a fit.  You say, "wow, you're really upset" (say this with empathy), and then take the milk away and put it in the fridge for later. 

If they keep screaming, you just ignore them and go about your day.  If they start hurting things you say, "you're very angry, but I won't let you hit things.  I'm going to hold your arms and keep us safe until you can stop hitting".  You might also add "It's ok to be angry but it's not ok to hit.  You can hit this pillow if you'd like". 

This is getting long, and I'm supposed to be cleaning the kitchen. 

Basically, its ok for kids to be upset.  Internalize that.  It's ok for my kid to be upset.  It's ok for her to experience anger.  Frustration.  Even sadness.  It's ok.  I'm going to let her experience this emotion while I set the limit.
  Great post.  My little two year old girl just turned three.  She is a cute little doll, but, being from a home of all boys, and having had all boys (three boys, and she is the only girl), I was not prepared for the emotions a little girl brings and all the whining and crying.  Your example, the blue cup or the red cup, is a good one.  I give her the choice you said, except I stopped ignoring her tantrums.  I got tired of listening to her screaming, so I started offering her a choice there, too.  She can stop it, or she can go to her room until she is done.

At first, I had to carry her to her room, set her on the bed, and close the door.  The first time, she opened the door and came out screaming, and I set her back on the bed and told her not to come out until she was done screaming.  She would scream even louder hoping to get attention and be given permission to leave her room still crying.   After a few times, I did not even need to carry her in there anymore. She would walk in there herself, cry for a while, then ask, "Daddy, can I come out?"

"Sure, honey, if you are done screaming, go ahead!"

She would come out laughing and playing like nothing had happened.

Lately she seems to prefer sucking it up and sniffling a little bit to going to her room.

It has lead to better behavior in other places, too, like church.

My wife has been pleased with the result.

It is ok for kids to be upset, but my entire family of six need not be held hostage to screaming for several minutes with no conversation able to take place because we selected the wrong color cup (which is not really true, had we selected the one, she would have demanded the other).
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 11, 2017, 06:58:30 AM
Not to make excuses (dont facepunch me!)

But...

The income talk should probably be had.

Because there are at least 4 people (2 posters and their spouse) in just the last 10 posts or so, that make over $300k per year.

So they can save 80% and STILL make what I make lol.

Big difference there.

I bet most people on this site have very large incomes that make this easier.

I have to say, this sounds like me with my weight.  Because, you know, there are a bunch of people with these awesome metabolisms, who don't have desk jobs where they sit all day, who (like my DH) just look at a barbell and pop out muscle, and and and and and. . . .

But that's not me.  I have a 50-yr-old metabolism, a crappy thyroid, and a desk job.  That means I have to work harder to achieve what comes easily to some people.  It's not fair.  But it is what it is.  I can choose to feel sorry for myself, or I can dive in and do something about it.  And I am the one who gets to live with the consequences of both choices.  So, really, it's up to me to decide whether I want to be healthy and (I hope) stick around for a long time and enjoy grandkids and retirement, or whether I want to crack open the Doritos and sink into my recliner and probably keel over in a decade.

FWIW, we do have large incomes now, but I started out at $52K.  But unlike you, I grew up poor and so already had a pretty good frugality muscle (nothing like taking a calculator to the grocery store at 9 yrs old to make sure we didn't outspend our Food Stamps).  And I also had the advantage of knowing that no one was going to bail me out if I screwed it up.  So I bought a condo, paid off $9500 in student loans, paid off a $14K car, and set up an emergency fund and IRA, all in 2 years.  Because I flat-out didn't feel "safe" with all that debt and no savings -- I didn't feel like I could breathe until I had a fat bank account.  You obviously grew up very differently, and so of course you don't feel that same fear of debt, that same drive to save, that I do.  But it is that mental drive, that habit of saving first, that has put me where I am today; the high incomes that came along later just gave me more tools to work with.

One more thing for you to mull over:  you are used to being able to have what you want.  You grew up with an expectation of a certain lifestyle, you make a good income, and so it seems natural that you should be able to have everything you want.  You may even see "being able to buy what I want" as a marker of success, and so the thought of cutting back may be painful.  But, (a), no one gets everything they want.  Heck, I want a Porsche 911 cabriolet 4S turbo -- but I want to put my kids through college and retire more.  So we chose not to buy motorized toy vehicles (for us OR the kids), but they both have six-figure college funds. 

And (b), just because someone will lend you money to buy something, or because you can fit a payment into your monthly budget, doesn't mean you can "afford" it (I'm sure the Porsche dealer would be more than happy to lend me as much as I wanted to borrow).  Even your salary can't cover a big home with all-new furniture and two cars and a SAH wife and lots of eating out -- you could make double what you make now and *still* "need" more (please read "The Millionaire Next Door" on lifestyle creep!).  Everyone has to make choices.  You are making choices now, even if you're not aware of it -- you have just been choosing your immediate wants over your future needs, which is an awesome way to wind up 50 and broke and wondering what you worked so hard for all those years.  So I hope you spend the next week or so really thinking about what your long-term priorities are and finding a way to plan those into your current budget -- maybe not right away, because your hair is totally on fire and you need to dump the debt, but next year, after you've kicked the spending and the debt to the curb.  You need to find a way to give Future You a voice at the table. 

Best of luck.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 11, 2017, 07:47:03 AM
Something I haven't seen addressed here: Somehow you found out the remote car starter was on sale. What was the source of that information? Why do you know that, if you weren't actively looking to spend money on something when you discovered the sale?

and of course the followup questions:
Can you remove that marketing stream from your life?
How many other pieces of consumer marketing can you remove from your life?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 11, 2017, 08:10:52 AM
Something I haven't seen addressed here: Somehow you found out the remote car starter was on sale. What was the source of that information? Why do you know that, if you weren't actively looking to spend money on something when you discovered the sale?

and of course the followup questions:
Can you remove that marketing stream from your life?
How many other pieces of consumer marketing can you remove from your life?

JakeJake, good point.  When I was a poor broke grad student, I never ever looked at the advertising inserts in the paper, because I could always find things I "needed" and I had no money.  Even now any paper advertising I get goes straight into recycling.*  One of the side benefits of MMM's cut the cable move is that if TV is mostly out of your life, so are all the ads. 

*Unless I have already identified a need - if my rake is broken, for example, I will pull out hardware store ads to see what they have.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 11, 2017, 08:28:09 AM
Something I haven't seen addressed here: Somehow you found out the remote car starter was on sale. What was the source of that information? Why do you know that, if you weren't actively looking to spend money on something when you discovered the sale?

and of course the followup questions:
Can you remove that marketing stream from your life?
How many other pieces of consumer marketing can you remove from your life?

Radio commercial.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: nessness on January 11, 2017, 08:37:05 AM
One question I have not seen asked yet--how experienced at cooking are you and especially your wife? There's no point telling you to make your own bread and yogurt from scratch right now if you're at the "boil pasta, add sauce" level. There are still ways to cook and shop more efficiently, but I would give different advice depending on the experience level.

I'm embarrassed now because I'm at that stage!

Do I have to make the pasta and sauce myself from elemental ingredients or is it acceptable to buy the pasta and sauce and just toss it in the saucepan?
There's nothing wrong with pasta with jarred sauce for an occasional quick meal, but if that's your entire repertoire you're going to get bored quickly, plus it's not that nutritionally balanced.

If you're looking to branch out I would highly recommend Budget Bytes - simple, affordable recipes, most of which are suitable for beginners.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 11, 2017, 09:08:04 AM
Pasta with jarred sauce is not so different from the stuff I was suggesting. Sometimes we hear "make from scratch" and get intimidated, but it's really no big thing once you do it. Compare boxed pasta/store bought sauce to homemade yogurt:

1. Boil water (check occasionally to see when it's boiling)
2. Add pasta
3. Check periodically til pasta is done (or use timer)
4. Strain water out
5. Add jar of sauce, stir til hot

vs.
1. Heat milk to 165-180 degrees, stir occasionally.
2. Take off heat and ignore while you eat dinner (or til it cools to  below 110 degrees)
3. Stir in a small container of plain yogurt
4. Put someplace warm overnight. Bottom shelf of a gas oven that has a pilot light is one option.

Both recipes are just heat one thing, then add one other thing, and somewhere in there you stir a bit. One pot, no measuring.

Most people use a thermometer for making yogurt, but that's not even necessary if you don't own one. If you can recognize boiling water, you can recognize milk that's got teeny tiny bubbles around the edges of the pot - that's the target heat. Then cool til it feels warm and cozy but not hot to put your hands flat around the outside of the pot.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Mmm_Donuts on January 11, 2017, 09:10:13 AM
You can totally do this. You can get debt-free and you can get back in control of your life. This is the way I would tackle things with your 3, 6, 12 month goal markers.

3-Month Goals:
  • Put rental house on the market. You can give a roof credit at closing instead of worrying about that now.
  • Sell car and buy something for under $5000
  • Sit down with your wife and make a budget. In this situation, I think you two going to Financial Peace University from Dave Ramsey would be absolutely a good idea. It will put all your cards on the table and help you two create a reasonable spending plan. This plan doesn't work without you two being a united front and deciding that you don't want to live on the edge anymore.
  • Cut up all you credit cards except for maybe (MAYBE) one card. Do not put any more purchases on credit card. Pay for everything on debit or cash. I'd even consider getting your grocery money in cash and once it's gone, it's gone.
  • Cut out all eating out. I left you $30/month for the very rare unplanned need to go through the drive through with the kids. But no restaurants.
  • Cut the massage and the cameras. Get your Groceries below $600
  • Go through your house and sell enough things to get your emergency fund of cash up to $2000

6-Month Goals:
  • Sell the rental house and pay off the property taxes and the IRS
  • Use your $605 cashflow to pay off the credit cards. I'd probably do a mixture of snowball/avalanche: CC1, CC3, CC6, CC5, CC4, Furniture Loan, CC7, CC2. Each time you pay off a new card, take the payment from that paid off card and roll it forward to pay off the next one more quickly. Within 6 months you should have it whittled down to just the Furniture Loan, CC7 and CC2 and you would have about $900/month at that point to keep throwing at the cards.

12-Month Goals:
  • By February 1, 2018, you could be down to only the 30k debt owed to your parents and about $1500/month in cashflow.
  • Talk to your parents about a payment plan for the 30k. If they really are not looking to give you interest, then I'd tell them your plan now about when you will be able to start paying them back and at what pace. If it were me, I'd see about doing $1000/month to parents and put $500/month in savings until you get a decent 3 month emergency fund, maybe $10k. Then I'd put all $1500 toward the loan with the parents until its gone.
  • Start planning for how you will save after you're debt-free. Maybe allow yourself some small rewards once you pay off all except the parent's loan and then once you are totally debt free. My husband and I did a steak dinner at the fancy restaurant in town after we got debt-free and it was the best steak I've ever had.
  • Don't let up! Keep optimizing your budget, looking for things to sell or extra jobs you can pick up (dog sitting or your wife watching a kid every once in awhile). Keep talking about where you want to be in 10 years and what you want retirement to look like. Don't let your spending creep up.


NEW PLAN (these numbers reflect after the rental is sold)
TAKE-HOME Income without Rental: $3875
Monthyly cashflow to put towards debt with spending below: $605

Expenses:
 
GARBAGE           36   
CALE/INTERNET   114   
WATER                   50   
GEICO AUTO           135   
MASSAGE       70   If this is massage envy, you can cancel if you try hard enough. Talk to manager, explain situation.
AUTO LOAN           393   3591   6.54% Sell car ASAP, paying it off in 9 months means nothing because you have no money.
MORTGAGE           1761   164,717   5.125%
FUEL                   200   
GAS/ELECTRIC        150   
GROCERIES       1100 600   
EATING OUT       600 30
CAMERAS       25   
PARENTS                    0       30K   
CC1                            194       856   25.24%
CC2                            134       4495   24.49
CC3                            25       505   23.24%
CC4                            25       452   10.23%
CC5                            20       692   18.49%
CC6                            75       797   24.15
CC7                            100       2020   25.24
Furniture Loan            276       1950   25.00

TOTAL                     5472   46,405   
NEW TOTAL             3270        41,767

Assets:

Primary home – Owe $164,717, worth $175k
Rental – Owe $25k HELOC + $9k taxes, worth $70k to $80k Sell it ASAP
Car – Owe $4,500, worth $15k to $17k Car - $5000, paid in Cash after selling financed car
Cash - $850 $2000 funded by selling crap from around the house - you need an emergency fund
401k - $5,000

Liabilities:

Income tax - $40k 35k Paid off with sale of Rental, 5k paid off with sale of car
Property tax on rental - $9k Paid off with sale of rental

I am reposting this for emphasis, because it clearly lays out a very manageable solid plan for you. Number one and two on your list to fix your situation should be the big items - sell the rental property and your car. Selling these will ease your finances, allow you to pay off some debts ASAP. The other things, grocery shopping and learning to cook, are much slower wins that will take time to learn. You need a solution NOW. The quick fix is to sell the rental, AS IS, sell your car, and become a one car family. You asked for quick - this is the quickest solution. Not easy, as you'll have to adjust your habits and learn to live with one car, but it will ease the massive financial pressure you are under in however long it takes to sell in your market. The rest of the things will come in time, and I'm afraid the little wins (groceries, couches, cooking from scratch) are distracting you from what you need to do NOW.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 11, 2017, 09:31:41 AM
One question I have not seen asked yet--how experienced at cooking are you and especially your wife? There's no point telling you to make your own bread and yogurt from scratch right now if you're at the "boil pasta, add sauce" level. There are still ways to cook and shop more efficiently, but I would give different advice depending on the experience level.

I'm embarrassed now because I'm at that stage!

Do I have to make the pasta and sauce myself from elemental ingredients or is it acceptable to buy the pasta and sauce and just toss it in the saucepan?

The latter, because there is no economic advantage to making pasta from scratch.  The machines that make pasta do it too well for any homemaker to compete.

Yes... but I am trying to take note of all the added sugar and salt warnings that are permeating this thread. If you make it yourself you can control exactly what goes in it.

I try to buy whole wheat pasta and use jarred tomato sauce that has as little sugar as possible. I think Newman's is good (don't quote me though) and Ragu has like 20 teaspoons in a cup! Check the labels. And add veggies. :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 11, 2017, 09:34:57 AM
I'm surprised there was not that many responses about the grocery items at all.

As I read it, there is a giant, fire-y asteroid named EATING HABITS that is pointed right at them. Money aside, the items they buy at the grocery store will send them to the hospital with time. Obesity, diabetes, heart disease, not to mention dental work and cavities... you name it... and if the kids are eating it... ugh.

Quite frankly, it shows the lack of discipline the parents have. Eating is unhealthy, finances are unhealthy, etc. Reigning in one will help with the other.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 11, 2017, 09:35:42 AM
I'm surprised there was not that many responses about the grocery items at all.

As I read it, there is a giant, fire-y asteroid named EATING HABITS that is pointed right at them. Money aside, the items they buy at the grocery store will send them to the hospital with time. Obesity, diabetes, heart disease, not to mention dental work and cavities... you name it... and if the kids are eating it... ugh.

Quite frankly, it shows the lack of discipline the parents have. Eating is unhealthy, finances are unhealthy, etc. Reigning in one will help with the other.

?? There were like 4 pages almost entirely devoted to groceries.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 11, 2017, 09:54:53 AM
Hey, the beatles!

I am completely hooked on this thread and following it intently.  I just got caught up.

Let's recap. 

FIRST - this is only four days since the original post.  Right?

SECOND - You already have accomplishments.

In those four days, you have already cut out $600 monthly spending on lunches for other self employed people at work.

You have cut off the massages ($70 monthly?)

You are now looking into budgeting for groceries and meals out.

Even without the grocery and meals out - you have saved $670 monthly, or $8040 a year.  That's more than $80,000 over a decade.

Start calculating the value of your savings over ten years, and you will see that even little expenses (on a monthly basis) add up to large amounts.

$80,000 over the next ten years.

The next step will put that well into six figures.

I was going to ask, what's next?  I think I answered my own question, though, and the answer is tackling groceries and meals out.  Is this correct?  If so, then this will make a huge dent in your spending.

Don't expect to do it all at once in one month.  I think your initial goal is too ambitious for a one month cut.  75% all at once is likely to result in failure.  Instead of setting and artificial dollar amount, instead start looking at each and every purchase - is this needed?  Can I cut it out?  Is there a way to do it cheaper?  The end result may well be a 75% cut, but it might take a while, and the process of figuring out what you need and how to get it efficiently will IMPROVE your life.  Simply setting a number arbitrarily is going to feel like it is not an improvement to your life.  Does that make sense?

I have a similar income to you, and I have 4 kids!  So, hopefully, you will not be dismissive of what I say on this.  We eat A LOT (just by myself, 8 eggs and 1.5 to 2 pounds of meat daily, and that does not include the rest of the family, plus my veggies and carb sources to fuel workouts).  So we are not starving, but we typically spend about $600 monthly on groceries.

Eating out was a big financial issue for me and my wife, as even a few times a month can add up to hundreds of dollars.  We called it quits almost entirely on eating out.   if you cannot just cut it out entirely, then I think it would be a good idea for you, if your wife is on board with it, to set a dollar limit and pull it out of the ATM in cash.  Then your wife and you decide, whatever this dollar amount is, that is it for the month.  If we eat out, it will be using this cash.  When it is gone, it is gone.  No debit card use for eating out.  No credit card use for eating out.  No cheating.  This includes fast food runs with the kiddos because of lack of planning and, well, we have to eat (my wife and I have been there, beatles, I know).  Only from that one cash source and nothing else, ever.  This includes any meals out for yourself at work.  You spend $7, and it is $7 less in that monthly cash envelope for eating out.  No excuses.  When it is gone, then it is gone.  See that Saturday Night Live.

Groceries - the biggest deal will be to buy nothing prepared.  If it is in a box or a bag, then do not buy it.  If it has ingredients, then do not buy it.  Buy raw meat.  By raw vegetables.  Well, rice and potatoes sometimes come in bags, but you get what I mean.  No juice, soda, or any other sugary crap.   Sugar is the devil, and your kids will behave so much better once you stop infusing them with excessive loads of it.  Your wallet will also thank you. 

The second biggest deal is to comparison shop.  My wife (SAHM, like yours) does much of this online now.  Do they have an Aldi where you are?  Check it out if you have not.

Tackling one thing at a time like this will help keep you from burning out.  If you look at my journal, I was near a 50% savings rate (similar income to you, 4 kids) in 2015, but then I crashed and burned in spectacular fashion.  I basically saved nothing for 2016.  I lost an entire year from my goals.  I am trying to get things back on track for 2017.

I am older than you by decades (or very nearly decades).  I WISH I had figured this stuff out at your age.  I would be very well set by now.

You have a HUGE opportunity here.

I also feel like I have to post on one issue that keeps coming up, and that is your parents.  It is time to divorce yourself from them financially.  You asked earlier, "What is wrong with parents helping out their kids?"  Your question is rhetorical, and it assumes that nothing is wrong with it. The problem is that your underlying assumption is wrong.  While the parents are well intentioned, they are actually harming their kids.  Thomas Stanley studied this issue, and he wrote about it in his book, The Millionaire Next Door.  He called parents helping their kids Economic Outpatient Care.    The results of his study were precisely backward from what everybody expected.  It turns out that kids who receive help from their parents are hamstrung financially.  They are less able to cope with finances, spend more, run up debt, and accumulate far less wealth.

Here is a little bit about it. http://www.thomasjstanley.com/2014/04/millionaires-favorite-chapter-in-the-millionaire-next-door/
Actual quote from the book with his finding:
Quote
. . . in eight of the ten occupational categories, gift receivers [those who receive economic outpatient care] have smaller levels of net worth (wealth) than those who do not receive gifts.

Shocking, isn't it?

So do yourself a favor, and stop soliciting this harmful influence in your life.

As my final advice in this post, just a recap, first, did I record your first four days of accomplishments correctly?  If not, please add anything I missed.  I do not want to be inaccurate.

Second, move on to groceries, comparison shop, buying whole food (not processed) and reduce or eliminate entirely eating out.

Third, calculate all of these savings on ten year terms to figure out what these things are really costing you.

Fourth, find the next issue and move on to it. 

One step at a time!

You have made $80,000 of savings over the next decade, and are about to create over six figures of savings!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: OurTown on January 11, 2017, 09:59:57 AM
Malum, that was the best post in the history of the internet.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 11, 2017, 10:01:58 AM
Malum, that was the best post in the history of the internet.
  Wow, thanks OurTown!    :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: OurTown on January 11, 2017, 10:05:15 AM
Malum, that was the best post in the history of the internet.
  Wow, thanks OurTown!    :)

I need to do some of this myself.  In fact, we are re-instituting the cash allowance for meals out.  You know, even the act of tracking the spend (to determine the amount of the allowance) has reduced the spend.  I am literally ashamed of the amount we have been spending eating out.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 11, 2017, 10:11:52 AM
Malum, that was the best post in the history of the internet.
  Wow, thanks OurTown!    :)

I need to do some of this myself.  In fact, we are re-instituting the cash allowance for meals out.  You know, even the act of tracking the spend (to determine the amount of the allowance) has reduced the spend.  I am literally ashamed of the amount we have been spending eating out.
  That is exactly what happened to me an my wife.  We felt like we did not eat out very often, but the act of tracking it opened our eyes to how much money we actually were flushing away.  It was a shock.

We write our spending down on a piece of paper and add it up every week and at the end of the month.

Just knowing I am going to have to write it down sometimes keeps me from spending it!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Mmm_Donuts on January 11, 2017, 10:47:56 AM
Guys, Beatles owes 40k to the IRS, plus multiple other high-cost debts. While it's great that he can save 80k over the next 10 years by eating out less, do you think the IRS will stop charging interest and penalties for 10 years while he figures this out?

Again, his next steps need to be sell the rental, as in, put it on the market TODAY, and sell the car. He has another car, selling this one will instantly free up 10k. It would take a LOT of eating out to make back that amount. Beatles is in SERIOUS shit here. IMO cutting out groceries is great but at this point, in his specific (dire!) situation, it is pissing in the wind.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 11, 2017, 10:56:31 AM
Well, I disagree.  Maybe selling the rental is his next step.  Or maybe selling his current house and moving into the rental.  One step at a time.  Paying off the IRS is not going to make a long term difference if he and his wife do not get their excessive spending under control.

It has only been 4 days, Mmm_Donuts!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 11, 2017, 10:59:14 AM
In those four days, you have already cut out $600 monthly spending on lunches for other self employed people at work.

You have cut off the massages ($70 monthly?)

You are now looking into budgeting for groceries and meals out.

Even without the grocery and meals out - you have saved $670 monthly, or $8040 a year.  That's more than $80,000 over a decade.

Start calculating the value of your savings over ten years, and you will see that even little expenses (on a monthly basis) add up to large amounts.

MMM has a blog post.  He says to multiply monthly figures by 173.  http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/04/15/getting-started-3-eliminate-short-termitis-the-bankruptcy-disease/

So $670 x 173 = $115,910

This represents a 7% rate of return on this money if invested (since you are not spending it each month).
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Noodle on January 11, 2017, 11:02:35 AM
One question I have not seen asked yet--how experienced at cooking are you and especially your wife? There's no point telling you to make your own bread and yogurt from scratch right now if you're at the "boil pasta, add sauce" level. There are still ways to cook and shop more efficiently, but I would give different advice depending on the experience level.

I'm embarrassed now because I'm at that stage!

Do I have to make the pasta and sauce myself from elemental ingredients or is it acceptable to buy the pasta and sauce and just toss it in the saucepan?

There's nothing embarrassing about pasta and sauce--I have it in my own cupboard! :) (Answer, make the sauce, buy the dried pasta. Sauce is easy and quick, and a lot cheaper than in the jar; pasta is a bit of a process, and there is less of a difference in price.)

I was really just trying to find out if all the convenience foods on the grocery receipts were because of a shortage of experience or a shortage of time. I think we have a tendency to fall into the "curse of knowledge" cognitive bias when it comes to cooking--we have so many good cooks on this forum we forget what it was like in the days of not knowing the difference between bake and broil, and trying to figure it out with two preschoolers underfoot is leveling up the difficulty! (Says the poster with multiple contributions to the "kitchen disasters" thread.)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 11, 2017, 11:04:23 AM
Guys, Beatles owes 40k to the IRS, plus multiple other high-cost debts. While it's great that he can save 80k over the next 10 years by eating out less, do you think the IRS will stop charging interest and penalties for 10 years while he figures this out?

Again, his next steps need to be sell the rental, as in, put it on the market TODAY, and sell the car. He has another car, selling this one will instantly free up 10k. It would take a LOT of eating out to make back that amount. Beatles is in SERIOUS shit here. IMO cutting out groceries is great but at this point, in his specific (dire!) situation, it is pissing in the wind.
  Let me back up and say that I am not so sure I "disagree," as I wrote, as I think these steps probably need to be taken, but, again, it has been only four days.  He is making improvements and I trust he will continue to make them.

This has probably all been a little overwhelming for him.

Once he and his wife see progress, they will buy into this whole MMM financial approach more and more.

IRS interest rate is 3 or 4% BTW.  In addition, a good accountant can often knock down a lot of it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Mmm_Donuts on January 11, 2017, 11:13:14 AM
Ok. Beatles doesn't have full information yet about the taxes he owes. It was mentioned way earlier in this thread, which I've been following with interest and learning from, btw.

If it's possible to set up a payment plan with them, and pay in instalments, then he should find that out ASAP. A quick Google search tells me that this is possible if you owe less than $50k, which at this point he does. If he does the instalment route, the penalties and interest will continue to compound until it's fully paid, but at least he will be making a dent in it. Also he has 72 months to pay it off, according to this site: https://smartasset.com/taxes/5-things-you-shouldnt-do-if-you-owe-the-irs-at-tax-time

(I'm not American so not fully familiar w the tax penalties there.)

40k divided by 72 months is ~$555/mo. Given the information he gains from talking with the IRS, or having his accountant or lawyer talk with them, he can devise a plan. This plan should rely on math. Will it be more worthwhile to cut back on eating out and grocery shopping so he can pay the IRS back at (let's say) $650 a month, if he can make such drastic cuts, or would it be more worthwhile to sell the rental and pay it back immediately?

Weighing his options mathematically will allow him to make the smartest decision. So far he has been living without a care, financially. He is starting to care now, and he needs to learn how to think differently in order to stop repeating the same patterns of living like he is earning 5x what he actually earns.

Personally I would rip off the bandaid and sell the rental property. I'm not sure why this is such a big deal, even on day 4 - he knows he has to make drastic changes to his life. Selling the rental property is the LEAST drastic change, since it doesn't really affect his day to day life in any way. Other than having a huge weight lifted off his shoulders, with IRS debt gone.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 11, 2017, 11:17:30 AM
I'll just reiterate what somebody else warned him about already in the thread - GO SEE AN ACCOUNTANT BEFORE talking to the IRS. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: FrugalFan on January 11, 2017, 11:36:20 AM
Beatles, this is my first post on this epic thread. I have to admit that my heart was racing when I read your salary, expenses, and liabilities. Am I correct that your monthly salary after deductions and taxes is 3875 per month excluding rental income (or 4470 including rental income)? On the other hand, your budget already lists 5472 in monthly expenses, and it is far from complete, correct? Where are hair cuts, clothes, kids activities, Christmas and birthday gifts (e.g., motorized jeeps), sporting goods, furniture and decor, car maintenance, house maintenance (all items mentioned in your post)? Even if these expenses only add up to an additional $200 per month, you are currently accumulating debt at about $1200 per month, or $14000 per year. And that is not counting the interest accumulating on that debt, or your other major liabilities. This is probably the worst hair on fire emergency I have seen on this site.

I'm with MMMDonuts on this one. It's not the time to be discussing small labor intensive changes like making your own bread. It's time to sell your rental and pay off a bunch of the debt. Today! I'm a real estate investor and I agree that these people won't care about the roof, they will care about the rental income, which seems good. Just give them a credit for a quoted amount on closing, or list accordingly with a mention of the roof needing repair in the listing. Also mention rental income in the listing. If you go through all the trouble of booking a roof repair for 5k, getting into more debt to accomplish this, do you think you will be able to recoup more than that amount? Not likely.

My suggestions, in order of benefit to effort ratio:

1. List rental with an agent specializing in income properties
2. Pay off HELOC, property taxes, and all high-interest debt to free up some cash flow
3. Contact a CPA and start making a plan for the IRS
3. Keep tracking in Mint and try to reduce your *largest* expenses with the most bang for your buck
4. Come up with a realistic budget that is less than you bring home every month.
5. Don't buy anything that is non-essential, no matter how good of a deal, unless you have saved for it first.

I think number 4 will be very difficult given your salary and expenses, but it is essential otherwise you will just keep moving backwards even if you make significant progress on the other items.


Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: katscratch on January 11, 2017, 11:49:31 AM
Hey, the beatles!

I am completely hooked on this thread and following it intently.  I just got caught up.

Let's recap. 

FIRST - this is only four days since the original post.  Right?

SECOND - You already have accomplishments.

........

Second, move on to groceries, comparison shop, buying whole food (not processed) and reduce or eliminate entirely eating out.

Third, calculate all of these savings on ten year terms to figure out what these things are really costing you.

Fourth, find the next issue and move on to it. 

One step at a time!


Yes, yes, yes! 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: economista on January 11, 2017, 11:56:54 AM
Beatles - first off, you should be commended for sticking with this through all of the face punches. 

Here is my contribution toward your situation.  You need to set up a payment plan with the IRS.  My SO used to work for the IRS, in collections, so he knows a lot about how that all works.  The worst thing you can possibly do is simply ignore your IRS debt - it will just get worse and worse and they will pile on all kinds of fees and interest.  If you had contacted them immediately upon realizing you owed them money, and set up a payment plan at that point in time, you would be fine.  Their lowest payment option allows you to only pay $200 per month indefinitely until it is paid off.  My SO is visually impaired and in 2013 he went on disability due to his blindness and as a result his outstanding student loans were forgiven, but he had to pay taxes on them as if they were income.   He owed over $6,000 in taxes that year and he was only receiving $1200 per month in disability income.  He called them up immediately, asked for a payment plan, and he now pays $200 per month.  At this point you may need a lawyer to help you, but the IRS will work with you and help you set up payment plans.  Hiding from your problems never works; it just makes them bigger.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: meandmyfamily on January 11, 2017, 12:01:19 PM
Malum Prohibitum- do you have a link to your journal?  I would love to read it since we have 4 kids too.  I would love to get groceries to $600.  We are at $800-$950
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BigRed on January 11, 2017, 12:03:04 PM
It's Wednesday.  So far, your major gain has been to stop buying lunch for the office.  However, no actual lunch purchases have actually been avoided, since you did in fact buy lunch on Monday "one last time."

So, how did it go today?  Did you actually not buy lunch?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: researcher1 on January 11, 2017, 12:37:23 PM
Even if these expenses only add up to an additional $200 per month, you are currently accumulating debt at about $1200 per month, or $14000 per year. And that is not counting the interest accumulating on that debt, or your other major liabilities. This is probably the worst hair on fire emergency I have seen on this site.

You are forgetting that he has a bottomless pile of money at his disposal...from mommy and daddy.

He said earlier that mom & dad have given him in excess of $50K in just the last few years!!!

He'll just tap them for another bundle of money to wipe out the most urgent debts that have accumulated, then go back to living a lifestyle he can't afford. 

Rinse and repeat.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 11, 2017, 12:46:20 PM
Even if these expenses only add up to an additional $200 per month, you are currently accumulating debt at about $1200 per month, or $14000 per year. And that is not counting the interest accumulating on that debt, or your other major liabilities. This is probably the worst hair on fire emergency I have seen on this site.

You are forgetting that he has a bottomless pile of money at his disposal...from mommy and daddy.

He said earlier that mom & dad have given him in excess of $50K in just the last few years!!!

He'll just tap them for another bundle of money to wipe out the most urgent debts that have accumulated, then go back to living a lifestyle he can't afford. 

Rinse and repeat.

The fact that he hasn't already done that tells me that he is beginning to think differently. Give him a chance to breathe, think, and then act. He's just opened a door he didn't even know was there, and it's a LOT to process.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 11, 2017, 12:59:38 PM
In response to people talking about whether the first priority is to reduce the grocery bill or sell the rental - my vote is to do both now.

There are two adults in the house. Not buying soda and junk food doesn't take effort, so neither has to put energy into that or work their way up to it. They just have to not put it in a shopping cart.

The person who isn't putting effort into listing the rental property can focus on reductions in groceries. Doesn't have to be "make your own bread" - but putting regular bread instead of the gourmet stuff in the shopping cart, or grabbing a box of pasta and jar of sauce instead of a frozen pizza is not an excessive amount of effort. Nor is sprinkling chicken legs with salt and pepper and jamming that into the oven instead of buying frozen gourmet chicken at $10/lb.

If we were talking about normal grocery habits - where a reduction would be a savings of $50-100 a month, yeah, I would prioritize that as nice to get to someday.

But that's not the case - they are hemorrhaging as much money here as he would blow buying a remote car starter not just once, but every single week. It looks like they can save maybe as much as $1000 on food - without making their own bread or having mad cooking skills. Which means if they sell the car now and don't get around to seriously reducing the groceries til June (for example), or do the reverse, the comparison of cumulative savings is something like this:

Sell 2nd car in Jan, reduce foods in June:
Jan: Up $5k
Feb: Up $5k
Mar: Up $5k
Apr: Up $5k
May: Up $5k
June: Up $6k
Jul: Up $7k
Aug: Up $8k
Sep: Up $9k
Oct: Up $10k
Nov: Up $11k
Dec: Up $12k

Reduce food in Jan, sell car in June:
Jan: Up $1k
Feb: Up $2k
Mar: Up $3k
Apr: Up $4k
May: Up $5k
June: Up $11k
Jul: Up $12k
Aug: Up $13k
Sep: Up $14k
Oct: Up $15k
Nov: Up $16k
Dec: Up $17k

There's some extra math to calculate interest on credit cards they can save assuming the extra all goes to debt, but I'm too lazy to do it. :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marty998 on January 11, 2017, 01:23:34 PM
Even if these expenses only add up to an additional $200 per month, you are currently accumulating debt at about $1200 per month, or $14000 per year. And that is not counting the interest accumulating on that debt, or your other major liabilities. This is probably the worst hair on fire emergency I have seen on this site.

You are forgetting that he has a bottomless pile of money at his disposal...from mommy and daddy.

He said earlier that mom & dad have given him in excess of $50K in just the last few years!!!

He'll just tap them for another bundle of money to wipe out the most urgent debts that have accumulated, then go back to living a lifestyle he can't afford. 

Rinse and repeat.

That sort of negativity is uncalled for, and is not in keeping with the spirit of this forum.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bee21 on January 11, 2017, 01:31:58 PM
Wow, i missed about 5 pages worth of drama!

I agree with Marty, this thread is an MMM forum classic, and deserve a sticky. If it doesn't, we definitely should compile the grocery advice mentioned here and post it separately (with a sticky).

Be gentle with op, he has been through a lot in the past few days and accomplished a lot. Facing his situation must have been hard. Making these difficult decisions is hard. Plus i imagine there is also a domestic storm going on with the wife in the background. Whatever you do, whoever racked up the debt, move on. Come up with a plan you are both comfortable with and as we told you, you can dig out of this hole by the end of the year.

We have been carrying on about the outrageous grocery spending, the parents and the IRS debt too long. There is enough information about them. Let them rest.

Let's move on to the other problem areas. OP, as others pointed out, there are several items missing from your budget and we suspect they go straight to your credit cards (@ 23%). Do you want to discuss these? Can we help you with these?

Missing budget items in my view. Kids toys (motorized vehicle? Wtf). Clothes. Haircuts. If you had a massage line in your budget, i suspect there are expensive haircuts, manicures and facials as well. Gym? Healthcare? Kids activities( wife is away all day doing activities. What sort ). Babysitting. Holidays. Christmas and birthdays. Gifts. These have to be planned and budgeted for or else you will find yourself in an even deeper hole. It is better to know that you can spend 100 dollars on the kids clothes than going crazy at the clearance racks. People will jump in about thrift stores, and about kids needing only empty boxes to play with, ignore them if you wish, but you need to understand how much you can realistically spend.

I know several people like Beatles.They are very real. I wish i could help them personally, but of course you don't preach to your friends about money. I almost fainted last year, when a friend told me that they finally managed to refinance their loans to save 7k a month in interest. They looked very successful, waterfront house, the investment properties, the suv, the convertible, the boat, the sahm, and it turns out they are living large on borrowed money and having health problems due to all the associated stress.she picked up a daily cleaning job to help them stay afloat, it was that bad. Imagine her rocking up in a 70k car payment to scrub someone's toilet for 5o dollars. 😢
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 11, 2017, 01:37:56 PM
Malum Prohibitum- do you have a link to your journal?  I would love to read it since we have 4 kids too.  I would love to get groceries to $600.  We are at $800-$950
  Here you go.  It needs more face punches, that's for sure!  http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/i-wasted-all-my-money!/

Groceries were $520 in November, and we hosted more than a dozen people over two days for Thanksgiving (my wife found great sales on turkey and ham!!!!)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 11, 2017, 01:41:40 PM
Possibly researcher1 is reacting to the beatles other posts on what is in the fridge and the cost of raising a child?  Let's face it, if you know your parents will rescue you*, it is psychologically harder to do the turn-around, because what he and his wife have to do is major, and work.  We still have very little idea of how much his wife is buying in to all our suggestions.  And Bee21 is right, there are most likely other expenses he hasn't thought about yet, just like the furniture loan was under the radar for awhile.  Until people start tracking spending to the penny, most money just flows out without being noticed or accounted for.  And bank charges - I remember on "Til debt do us part" how often people were racking up $20-$30 or more each month just on ATM charges.

It is Wednesday afternoon, so I am also curious to hear how lunch at beatles' workplace went today.  Did he stand firm?  Did he take his lunch?  Did someone else in the office step up for communal lunches?

Also so far the only firm change I can think of is the work lunches.  Am I missing some?  I am so hoping to hear he has an appointment with a CA re the IRS.  I am hoping he has an appointment to meet with a real estate agent who specialized in investment properties**. 


*Which is why I have made it very clear to my DD that there is no gravy train.  Of course I am there for her if necessary, but no gravy train.

** I had a beautiful 1 acre wooded house lot that I hoped to build on in the distant future, or pass on to DD, who loved it.  In the midst of my expensive divorce, I sold it.  So BTDT.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 11, 2017, 01:44:39 PM
Be gentle with op, he has been through a lot in the past few days and accomplished a lot. Facing his situation must have been hard. Making these difficult decisions is hard. Plus i imagine there is also a domestic storm going on with the wife in the background. Whatever you do, whoever racked up the debt, move on. Come up with a plan you are both comfortable with and as we told you, you can dig out of this hole by the end of the year.
While I was one of the first to advise beatles on baby steps and I stand by that I have to disagree here. It's not hard. Infact it's the exact diametrical oppositve of hard. Raising one or several children as a single parent is hard. Fighting cancer is hard. Losing a limb in an accident is hard. Helplessly watching your children, parents, siblings, or other loved ones die is hard. Not spending money on useless crap, however, is not hard. Infact, it's so easy they had to skip step 2) and 3) of the three step "Not Purchasing Crap" program because they realized that after "1) Stop purchasing crap" they were done.

Yes, it requires some thinking and general usage of that weird greyish squishy mass located between ones right and left ear (which, as it turns out in a shocking turn of events, is exactly what it is for!). Yes, it requires adjustement of ones expectations and habits.

But it's definitely not hard.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Allie on January 11, 2017, 01:49:00 PM
I'm going to second that this isn't a choice between selling everything and paying off debt or reducing daily spending.  It has to be both.  It's pretty clear that just getting a large infusion of cash from selling the rental isn't going to keep them from spiraling back into debt as they received a large infusion of cash from the parents just a couple years ago and it didn't make a difference.  Before that, they were racking up debt and living off a loan from Uncle Sam in the form of unpaid taxes.  Before that, it was probably support from mom and dad while they were getting launched.  I would be surprised if they had lived solely on what they earned, ever. 

If you guys don't seriously readjust your spending, eventually there will be no one left to prop up your lifestyle and it will fall apart.

Every single little thing they do will be a positive gain and every single big thing they do will be a positive gain.  To even be solvent in the future, let alone save for retirement and the kids, they need to do it all. 

Every thing you set eyes on in your house should be evaluated for how much it will net you if you sell it.  Who cares if you get a tantrum and $50 for a motorized jeep if you paid $200?  You need $50 way more than you need a kids toy right now.  Then consider that in reality, you probably paid $300 for the $200 dollar jeep because that money wasn't being spent on high interest debts!  Just like those $7000 couches, everything you buy, even if you get a great deal is being financed and an insane interest rate.

I enjoy cooking and at some point, back in my youth, I took a home ec class in middle school.  Everything you could possibly want to learn about cooking, homemaking, ironing, cleaning, and saving money can be learned on the Internet.  YouTube chefs have taught me how to do everything from knead a ball of dough to roll up a kick ass spring roll.  For everything in your life start asking what the function of the item is

...if a recipe calls for mango it's to add a tangy, sweet, fruity flavor...use an in season sweet/tart fruit like a Granny Smith apple...

...if your coffee maker dies don't get a kuerig figure out a way to immerse ground beans in boiling water and strain (I'm not being weird, pour over coffee is a thing now just figure out how to do it without a fancy stand and such)...

...if you kid wants a motorized jeep to get him quickly from one place to another, introduce him to a bicycle or better yet his legs...

Pretty soon you will be disgusted at how much stuff you were buying that is completely unnecessary.

Also, plan to get everything used.  I guarantee that every couch you have sat on, probably even the one at your house, has had someone engage in "adult behavior" on it, as well as being puked on, boogered on, peed on, and pooped on if there are kids or pets around.  :-)

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bee21 on January 11, 2017, 02:12:28 PM
It is hard to break bad habits and to do a hard reset. I am currently reducing my eating and changing bad eating patterns and it is haaaaard.

I am even reading Willpower for dummies, it is that hard. So yeah, i feel for op and his wife, they have a  much bigger mountain to climb.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 11, 2017, 02:45:05 PM
Getting themselves out of this hole will not actually be that hard, they have assets and good income.  What is going to be hard for them is the psychological change, and acceptance that their lives have to change - forever.  And actually doing it.

But they can do it - they are young, healthy and educated.  No external forces pushing against them.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 11, 2017, 03:21:40 PM
See, that's where I disagree. It's going to be inconvenient for sure. It's going to require adjustment and change, and we're creatures of habit. So yes, it's going to be inconvenient, but not hard.

In my book hardship would apply if he was a single parent without income. In that case it'd be somewhere between hard and impossible. But given his situation and income it will be anything but hard. Long, inconvenient, challenging, and maybe even ugly at times? Yes, definitely. Hard? No.

But again, that's my definition. YMMV.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 11, 2017, 04:14:33 PM
I made a blog.

Thanks to a few posters who messaged me and said I should do so. They were right.

It's certainly helped me hash over my thoughts.

I'm still going to reply to this thread every day, but sometimes I need to step away and just write to myself.

I made a little progress bar where I can track how much debt I've knocked down and how much money i've saved.

I'm really hoping this will keep me motivated.

Here is the link in case anyone feels like reading it. http://stackingpennies.org/im-just-really-bad-with-money
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 11, 2017, 04:16:02 PM
Getting themselves out of this hole will not actually be that hard, they have assets and good income.  What is going to be hard for them is the psychological change, and acceptance that their lives have to change - forever.  And actually doing it.

But they can do it - they are young, healthy and educated.  No external forces pushing against them.

I think the psychological change is coming along.

I've stopped myself several times already this week from purchasing something that I usually would have.

So far this week we have eaten all our meals at home.

French Onion Soup, Potato Pancakes, and Mac N Cheese.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 11, 2017, 04:20:00 PM
In response to people talking about whether the first priority is to reduce the grocery bill or sell the rental - my vote is to do both now.

There are two adults in the house. Not buying soda and junk food doesn't take effort, so neither has to put energy into that or work their way up to it. They just have to not put it in a shopping cart.

The person who isn't putting effort into listing the rental property can focus on reductions in groceries. Doesn't have to be "make your own bread" - but putting regular bread instead of the gourmet stuff in the shopping cart, or grabbing a box of pasta and jar of sauce instead of a frozen pizza is not an excessive amount of effort. Nor is sprinkling chicken legs with salt and pepper and jamming that into the oven instead of buying frozen gourmet chicken at $10/lb.

If we were talking about normal grocery habits - where a reduction would be a savings of $50-100 a month, yeah, I would prioritize that as nice to get to someday.

But that's not the case - they are hemorrhaging as much money here as he would blow buying a remote car starter not just once, but every single week. It looks like they can save maybe as much as $1000 on food - without making their own bread or having mad cooking skills. Which means if they sell the car now and don't get around to seriously reducing the groceries til June (for example), or do the reverse, the comparison of cumulative savings is something like this:

Sell 2nd car in Jan, reduce foods in June:
Jan: Up $5k
Feb: Up $5k
Mar: Up $5k
Apr: Up $5k
May: Up $5k
June: Up $6k
Jul: Up $7k
Aug: Up $8k
Sep: Up $9k
Oct: Up $10k
Nov: Up $11k
Dec: Up $12k

Reduce food in Jan, sell car in June:
Jan: Up $1k
Feb: Up $2k
Mar: Up $3k
Apr: Up $4k
May: Up $5k
June: Up $11k
Jul: Up $12k
Aug: Up $13k
Sep: Up $14k
Oct: Up $15k
Nov: Up $16k
Dec: Up $17k

There's some extra math to calculate interest on credit cards they can save assuming the extra all goes to debt, but I'm too lazy to do it. :)

I don't know how we could make it work without a 2nd car.

I agree that in a perfect world getting rid of the 2nd car would be ideal.

But we don't live in a city that has dense population and businesses and bus lines.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 11, 2017, 04:20:53 PM
Beatles - first off, you should be commended for sticking with this through all of the face punches. 

Here is my contribution toward your situation.  You need to set up a payment plan with the IRS.  My SO used to work for the IRS, in collections, so he knows a lot about how that all works.  The worst thing you can possibly do is simply ignore your IRS debt - it will just get worse and worse and they will pile on all kinds of fees and interest.  If you had contacted them immediately upon realizing you owed them money, and set up a payment plan at that point in time, you would be fine.  Their lowest payment option allows you to only pay $200 per month indefinitely until it is paid off.  My SO is visually impaired and in 2013 he went on disability due to his blindness and as a result his outstanding student loans were forgiven, but he had to pay taxes on them as if they were income.   He owed over $6,000 in taxes that year and he was only receiving $1200 per month in disability income.  He called them up immediately, asked for a payment plan, and he now pays $200 per month.  At this point you may need a lawyer to help you, but the IRS will work with you and help you set up payment plans.  Hiding from your problems never works; it just makes them bigger.

I think we may have a fix for the IRS.

I called a CPA today and he suggested an alternative I never thought of and I am actively thinking about it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 11, 2017, 04:21:47 PM
Even if these expenses only add up to an additional $200 per month, you are currently accumulating debt at about $1200 per month, or $14000 per year. And that is not counting the interest accumulating on that debt, or your other major liabilities. This is probably the worst hair on fire emergency I have seen on this site.

You are forgetting that he has a bottomless pile of money at his disposal...from mommy and daddy.

He said earlier that mom & dad have given him in excess of $50K in just the last few years!!!

He'll just tap them for another bundle of money to wipe out the most urgent debts that have accumulated, then go back to living a lifestyle he can't afford. 

Rinse and repeat.

That's what we are trying to avoid.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: katscratch on January 11, 2017, 04:22:05 PM
Wow.  You made more progress in four days than I did in four years.  And WITH your partner!


The hardest part is shifting your awareness -- the rest of it gets easier by the day.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 11, 2017, 04:22:58 PM
Congrats beatles!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 11, 2017, 04:24:21 PM
Beatles, huge congrats. Changing how you view the world is one of the most fundamental changes you can make. This is big stuff, and I'm seriously impressed you've held on through this whole case study! Wishing you the best headed forward.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 11, 2017, 04:28:17 PM
Wonderful progress, Beatles. I *might* forgive you for calling us minion money hippies. Although it is a rather catchy moniker. I do appreciate a good alliteration.

IRS STUFF: When you have processed the info, please consider sharing the solution your CPA advised. We might all learn something and there are lots of accountants on here who might be able to help you clarify the options.

Good job on sticking it out and starting to make changes. Once you get started there will be no stopping you and the Mrs. If you are in it together, you will be able to achieve amazing things really quickly!

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cowardly Toaster on January 11, 2017, 04:28:51 PM
I made a blog.



Kudos Mr. Beatles! I'm glad you're taking this so seriously. And I can promise you you'll be happy you started the journey. I'd wager you might be a little happier already in the sense of being relieved.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: oneyearfromnow on January 11, 2017, 04:52:23 PM
The beatles,

I'm going to de-lurk to tell you, and your missus, that you are on the right path.

It is (without a doubt) a challenge to change directions, and habits and become more financially responsible.  But you have made the first step, and you both should be commended for taking it.  In as much as a marriage is about love and respect, it is also essentially a business relationship.  You should be working towards a common goal that you both think is do-able, and achieveable.

You are fortunate that your kids are young, and they won't remember much of your belt-tightening years.  You are also fortunate that you realized there was a problem, and you decided to do something about it.  Your kids will learn this kind of positive, take charge, attitude, and *they will* respect you both for it. <<maybe not during the teen years though  😳 >>

That first paycheque you get where you don't have *any* debt to pay will be amazing.  The transition from putting it on the debt - to putting in a savings account will make you both absolutly giddy.

When the debt is gone, and you start seeing milestones passing, I am certain that we will see you (and perhaps your missus) posting on other newbies help requests with vigor, knowledge, and passion. 

Take care, you can do it!  Above all, you should know, that deep down, *we all* want you and your family to succeed.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 11, 2017, 04:56:52 PM
Great news!

Eating at home - a win!  Remember your veggies  ;-)  And protein.   French onion soup, yummy.  And veggies (the onions) and proteins (the cheese and the beef broth).  Tip from a good restaurant, a not too sweet sherry is as good as port in it, but you need a bit of one or the other to give depth of flavour.  Don't worry about the kids, the alcohol cooks out.  Too bad for us grown-ups.

There is a whole subforum on taxes (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/taxes/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/taxes/)).  If you post your IRS problem and suggested solution on there a lot of tax-smart people can give you feedback.

I am sure I am not the only one who wants to know how your office colleagues are coping with the loss of their thrice-weekly lunches.  Poor things (not).

Not buying things you would have never stopped to think about before - really good.  Can you play a mind game with yourself?  You are in marketing.  Every time you hear/see an ad that really gets you thinking about "needing" something (yes you now know it is a want not a need), analyze the ad. What got your attention?  How did it keep your attention?  How did it suck you in to wanting the item?  Stopping to analyze it will kill the magic lure.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 11, 2017, 05:05:38 PM
Dude, I just read your blog, and it's AMAZING.

Keep writing, keep writing, keep writing!  I can't wait to hear the stories of your journey.  :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 11, 2017, 05:11:37 PM
Wonderful progress, Beatles. I *might* forgive you for calling us minion money hippies. Although it is a rather catchy moniker. I do appreciate a good alliteration.

IRS STUFF: When you have processed the info, please consider sharing the solution your CPA advised. We might all learn something and there are lots of accountants on here who might be able to help you clarify the options.

Good job on sticking it out and starting to make changes. Once you get started there will be no stopping you and the Mrs. If you are in it together, you will be able to achieve amazing things really quickly!

Swick!

Your PM the other day really helped a lot.

I appreciate you.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 11, 2017, 05:14:22 PM
Dude, I just read your blog, and it's AMAZING.

Keep writing, keep writing, keep writing!  I can't wait to hear the stories of your journey.  :)

Haha thank you.

That makes me feel good.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 11, 2017, 05:19:27 PM
Good writing, beatles!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 11, 2017, 05:24:19 PM
Dude, I just read your blog, and it's AMAZING.

Keep writing, keep writing, keep writing!  I can't wait to hear the stories of your journey.  :)

Haha thank you.

That makes me feel good.

And by the way:  I am SO going to steal the phrase "money hippie."  I love it.  :)

Zoot
Money Hippie to the Stars 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Footsore Rambler on January 11, 2017, 05:28:19 PM
I've really been enjoying this thread, and I'm delurking to say your blog post was great and I love that you describe this group as 'money hippies'.  You are making great progress, and I hope you keep it up!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyMuMu on January 11, 2017, 05:33:22 PM
I want a t-shirt that says Minion Money Hippy. Nailed it!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 11, 2017, 05:34:08 PM
I like the blog! Any chance you can edit the link into the first post in this thread to make it easier for us to find in the future?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: CheapScholar on January 11, 2017, 05:47:08 PM
Beatles, you're going to move those thermometers on your blog faster than you can imagine.  Hell, you could still retire at 50 (decades before most Americans) if you stick to this, and be dishing out advice on this board someday. Beatles!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: With This Herring on January 11, 2017, 05:59:46 PM
This thread has gotten huge!  Wow!  Beatles, you've gotten a lot of good advice.  I'm glad to see the new blog.  Count me in as a curious CPA wondering about your CPA's tax suggestion.

I don't know how we could make it work without a 2nd car.
I agree that in a perfect world getting rid of the 2nd car would be ideal.
But we don't live in a city that has dense population and businesses and bus lines.

Due to major car issues that necessitated keeping a non-functioning car for six months (loooong story), DBF and I shared one car for that half-year, while each working 20+ minutes from home in opposite directions.  If A was going to use the car for the day, A would drop off B early enough that both A and B would be at work on time.  At the end of the day, A would get out of work, drive to B's work, then pick up B.  It wasn't a fun time, and there was a lot of getting to work early and leaving late, but it was doable.

What you and your wife could do is decide that she would drop you off at and pick you up from work on Tuesdays and Thursdays, giving her use of the car on those days.  I'm not sure this would be ideal long-term, but it is a possibility for the short term.  It's just a thought.  Alternatively, you might be able to carpool with others who make the daily commute into and out of the city.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Neustache on January 11, 2017, 06:16:49 PM
We had 1 car for many years...some while we both worked and then for 3.5 years as a SAHM.  It's totally doable, but your wife needs to learn that play dates at YOUR house are ways for her to interact socially and the kids get to play as well.  I would pick one day a week to drive my husband and pick him up (sometimes zero days per week) and I'd do any errands necessary on that day. 



Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 11, 2017, 06:40:33 PM
Wife did weekly shopping today.

$13!

We only needed "essentials" as we've been eating all the stuff that has been accumulating in our pantry and freezer.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 11, 2017, 06:42:07 PM
I'm over here applauding!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: birdie55 on January 11, 2017, 06:42:16 PM
That is HUGE. 

Congratulations and please tell her she did good.  Good start.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 11, 2017, 06:47:30 PM
Nice!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 11, 2017, 06:58:05 PM
Wife did weekly shopping today.

$13!

We only needed "essentials" as we've been eating all the stuff that has been accumulating in our pantry and freezer.

Awesome work!  In the words of Obi-Wan Kenobi, you have taken your first step into a larger world.  :)

With the grocery stuff, the first step is the hardest--changing ingrained patters of "what we eat for breakfast" or "what we feed the kids" is tough.  You and the wife are doing GREAT!

I'm going through something like this in my world right now:  DH and I just started a diet together, so our eating patterns are changing.  Soup and salad for dinner, excising alcohol, giving up pizza night (homemade, of course, including the crust!) on Fridays.

But so far DH has lost 8 pounds and I've lost 5 (curse his younger, male metabolism!), and it's so, so, SO worth it.  Every time I button up my now much-better-fitting jeans, I smile.  DH's blood work numbers are improving, even after just a couple of weeks.  Recalling the progress we've made helps when I'm in a situation where I could stray from my program--it helps me to say "no" when presented with temptation.

Keep going!  You can DO this! 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 11, 2017, 07:00:29 PM
YES!!!!! WAY TO GO MRS. BEATLES!!! :D :D :D :D
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: PharmaStache on January 11, 2017, 07:02:54 PM
Is that a huge container of applesauce I spy?  Good job!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 11, 2017, 07:03:28 PM
Ok, ok, ok...

She is mad that I didn't include the fact that she returned cans for $3 so it was actually only $10.

Gotta include that, apparently lol.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: FrugalFan on January 11, 2017, 07:05:20 PM
Awesome progress! So excited to see you still here and striving for change! And to see your wife embracing change too. Amazing!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Physicsteacher on January 11, 2017, 07:05:50 PM
Nicely done on the groceries and reaching out to a CPA for advice on your tax mess! What do you plan to tackle next?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: meandmyfamily on January 11, 2017, 07:06:29 PM
Wow!  Great job!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 11, 2017, 07:09:16 PM
Ok, ok, ok...

She is mad that I didn't include the fact that she returned cans for $3 so it was actually only $10.

Gotta include that, apparently lol.
She can have that win :) Although, won't be able to happen too many more times, no more sugary beverages, right? :) But eating from the pantry and a 13 10 shopping trip is GREAT!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Anagnorisis on January 11, 2017, 07:11:49 PM
Just stepping out of the lurk to say "F**k Yeah Beatles!!".  This thread has been great.  Hope you stick around.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: 1967mama on January 11, 2017, 07:18:33 PM
You guys are doing AH-MAZING!!! Well done! Keep pulling stuff out of that freezer and pantry to keep the bills down!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 11, 2017, 07:24:55 PM
I like the term, "Money Hippies".
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 11, 2017, 07:26:22 PM
Wow, i missed about 5 pages worth of drama!

I agree with Marty, this thread is an MMM forum classic, and deserve a sticky. If it doesn't, we definitely should compile the grocery advice mentioned here and post it separately (with a sticky).

Be gentle with op, he has been through a lot in the past few days and accomplished a lot. Facing his situation must have been hard. Making these difficult decisions is hard. Plus i imagine there is also a domestic storm going on with the wife in the background. Whatever you do, whoever racked up the debt, move on. Come up with a plan you are both comfortable with and as we told you, you can dig out of this hole by the end of the year.

We have been carrying on about the outrageous grocery spending, the parents and the IRS debt too long. There is enough information about them. Let them rest.

Let's move on to the other problem areas. OP, as others pointed out, there are several items missing from your budget and we suspect they go straight to your credit cards (@ 23%). Do you want to discuss these? Can we help you with these?

Missing budget items in my view. Kids toys (motorized vehicle? Wtf). Clothes. Haircuts. If you had a massage line in your budget, i suspect there are expensive haircuts, manicures and facials as well. Gym? Healthcare? Kids activities( wife is away all day doing activities. What sort ). Babysitting. Holidays. Christmas and birthdays. Gifts. These have to be planned and budgeted for or else you will find yourself in an even deeper hole. It is better to know that you can spend 100 dollars on the kids clothes than going crazy at the clearance racks. People will jump in about thrift stores, and about kids needing only empty boxes to play with, ignore them if you wish, but you need to understand how much you can realistically spend.

I know several people like Beatles.They are very real. I wish i could help them personally, but of course you don't preach to your friends about money. I almost fainted last year, when a friend told me that they finally managed to refinance their loans to save 7k a month in interest. They looked very successful, waterfront house, the investment properties, the suv, the convertible, the boat, the sahm, and it turns out they are living large on borrowed money and having health problems due to all the associated stress.she picked up a daily cleaning job to help them stay afloat, it was that bad. Imagine her rocking up in a 70k car payment to scrub someone's toilet for 5o dollars. 😢

Hmm.

I didn't really think about those small things.

Kids get a haircut once a year. Wife probbaly twice.

No facials or manicures but a pedicure probably once per year.

Honestly, most of the kids toys (including the Jeep) are gifts from the grandparents.

No babysitter.

Gotta add clothing and birthday/Christmas gifts though.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 11, 2017, 07:28:27 PM
I like the term, "Money Hippies".

I thought it described you all very well.

My uncle used to say "I don't want to be part of any club that'll accept someone like me as a member."

Oh well, minion money hippies is a club I'd like to be part of.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 11, 2017, 07:55:28 PM
GO MRS. BEATLES!!!!!

Best news I've heard all day!  :-)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: YoungGranny on January 11, 2017, 08:00:02 PM
Super proud of the Beatles today! You and wife are doing great!!! And see, I wasn't lying when I said as soon as you started making changes everyone would be applauding you. We may be money hippies but you're joining our commune :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Tick-Tock on January 11, 2017, 08:09:05 PM
Really enjoyed your blog and so glad you and Mrs. Beatles are working together making changes. Your future selves are going to be SO thankful to you!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 11, 2017, 08:09:53 PM
So great.  You guys are rocking it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 11, 2017, 08:11:10 PM
YAY MRS BEATLES!!!!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: dreamer8887 on January 11, 2017, 09:27:51 PM
Posting to follow, if you don't mind. I am so impressed you stuck around. Hopefully this forum will be a good accountability tool for you and your wife.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 11, 2017, 09:31:04 PM
What's the formula for net worth?

I'm assuming ours would be in the negatives, but what would it be?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MDM on January 11, 2017, 09:39:29 PM
What's the formula for net worth?

I'm assuming ours would be in the negatives, but what would it be?
Check http://www.thesimpledollar.com/how-to-calculate-your-net-worth/.

If that doesn't make sense, try googling "net worth" for other explanations.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: QueenV on January 11, 2017, 09:57:23 PM
Hi Beatles! I've been reading this thread for the last two days, trying desperately to catch up before I posted! Whew, here I am! It's been a wild ride so kudos to you for sticking with it. Your blog post is great and it sounds like the advice here is starting to sink in. The good news is that your situation can be turned around! Like others have said, it's all about baby steps. Pick one thing and do it, then move on to another, and on and on and pretty soon you'll look back and be amazed at how far you've come. You and your family have got this!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marty998 on January 12, 2017, 12:17:09 AM
What's the formula for net worth?

I'm assuming ours would be in the negatives, but what would it be?

Add up every financial asset you have (cash, investments, property, retirement accounts) and deduct everything you owe (all debts).

"Things" and depreciating assets (cars, furniture) do not count in the asset total, but the associated debts do  ;)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 12, 2017, 01:36:03 AM
Congratulations, Beatles and Mrs Beatles.  Mrs Beatles' shop was huge (in the best possible way).  Go Team!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 12, 2017, 05:31:33 AM
Mr. and Mrs. Beatles -- you ROCK!  Love the blog.  Congratulations on the CPA conversation (can't wait to hear more about it, if you will share) and the shopping trip.  Huge, huge wins.   
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: anotherAlias on January 12, 2017, 05:37:06 AM
Wow, i missed about 5 pages worth of drama!

I agree with Marty, this thread is an MMM forum classic, and deserve a sticky. If it doesn't, we definitely should compile the grocery advice mentioned here and post it separately (with a sticky).

Be gentle with op, he has been through a lot in the past few days and accomplished a lot. Facing his situation must have been hard. Making these difficult decisions is hard. Plus i imagine there is also a domestic storm going on with the wife in the background. Whatever you do, whoever racked up the debt, move on. Come up with a plan you are both comfortable with and as we told you, you can dig out of this hole by the end of the year.

We have been carrying on about the outrageous grocery spending, the parents and the IRS debt too long. There is enough information about them. Let them rest.

Let's move on to the other problem areas. OP, as others pointed out, there are several items missing from your budget and we suspect they go straight to your credit cards (@ 23%). Do you want to discuss these? Can we help you with these?

Missing budget items in my view. Kids toys (motorized vehicle? Wtf). Clothes. Haircuts. If you had a massage line in your budget, i suspect there are expensive haircuts, manicures and facials as well. Gym? Healthcare? Kids activities( wife is away all day doing activities. What sort ). Babysitting. Holidays. Christmas and birthdays. Gifts. These have to be planned and budgeted for or else you will find yourself in an even deeper hole. It is better to know that you can spend 100 dollars on the kids clothes than going crazy at the clearance racks. People will jump in about thrift stores, and about kids needing only empty boxes to play with, ignore them if you wish, but you need to understand how much you can realistically spend.

I know several people like Beatles.They are very real. I wish i could help them personally, but of course you don't preach to your friends about money. I almost fainted last year, when a friend told me that they finally managed to refinance their loans to save 7k a month in interest. They looked very successful, waterfront house, the investment properties, the suv, the convertible, the boat, the sahm, and it turns out they are living large on borrowed money and having health problems due to all the associated stress.she picked up a daily cleaning job to help them stay afloat, it was that bad. Imagine her rocking up in a 70k car payment to scrub someone's toilet for 5o dollars. 😢

Hmm.

I didn't really think about those small things.

Kids get a haircut once a year. Wife probbaly twice.

No facials or manicures but a pedicure probably once per year.

Honestly, most of the kids toys (including the Jeep) are gifts from the grandparents.

No babysitter.

Gotta add clothing and birthday/Christmas gifts though.

One thing to remember with budgeting is that it usually takes about a year to get one setup because there is always little stuff that you forget about that first year that needs to get added.  Just don't get discouraged when that stuff pops up.  Assess whether it's still an expense you want to pay for and if it is, add it to the budget going forward.  Actually, budgets are never really set in stone because they have to change as your life circumstances change but after the first year they change a lot less frequently.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: katscratch on January 12, 2017, 05:53:10 AM
I haven't used Mint or Personal Capital, so I can't compare them, but I really like You Need a Budget for my budgeting.  It still took me 9-12 months to really figure out how to set it up so it works best for me and how I budget now, but even just setting it up in the template made a big difference to how I look at what I'm spending each month. 

www.youneedabudget.com (http://www.youneedabudget.com)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 12, 2017, 05:58:55 AM
Honestly, most of the kids toys (including the Jeep) are gifts from the grandparents.

Had a thought when I read this.

Maybe have a conversation with the grandparents to say something like "we so appreciate all the gifts for the kids, but they've got more toys than they can play with; what would you think of maybe getting them one small toy and then making a contribution to their college fund for birthdays and Christmas instead?"

That's not worded very well, but I have to be at "work" (that is, commute from my home computer to my work computer, as I'm working from home today!) in 3 minutes.  ;-)  But you get the idea--help break the cycle of gifting of consumer "crap" that will be broken or forgotten or considered clutter in a year's time, in favor of setting the kids up for success when they launch as adults.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 12, 2017, 06:10:06 AM
Honestly, most of the kids toys (including the Jeep) are gifts from the grandparents.

Had a thought when I read this.

Maybe have a conversation with the grandparents to say something like "we so appreciate all the gifts for the kids, but they've got more toys than they can play with; what would you think of maybe getting them one small toy and then making a contribution to their college fund for birthdays and Christmas instead?"

That's not worded very well, but I have to be at "work" (that is, commute from my home computer to my work computer, as I'm working from home today!) in 3 minutes.  ;-)  But you get the idea--help break the cycle of gifting of consumer "crap" that will be broken or forgotten or considered clutter in a year's time, in favor of setting the kids up for success when they launch as adults.

One more idea while my computer is booting.  :)

Set up an Amazon wish list for the kids with things they need--items of clothing, stuff for activities, stuff for school.  Encourage people giving gifts to your kids to check the wish list when buying.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 12, 2017, 06:22:58 AM
I haven't used Mint or Personal Capital, so I can't compare them, but I really like You Need a Budget for my budgeting.  It still took me 9-12 months to really figure out how to set it up so it works best for me and how I budget now, but even just setting it up in the template made a big difference to how I look at what I'm spending each month. 

www.youneedabudget.com (http://www.youneedabudget.com)

Agree.  It's made me realize I have a lot less money than I think I do.  And when I want to spend new incoming money on something fun, I realize it's already allocated for practical stuff.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Khaetra on January 12, 2017, 06:59:12 AM
Honestly, most of the kids toys (including the Jeep) are gifts from the grandparents.

Had a thought when I read this.

Maybe have a conversation with the grandparents to say something like "we so appreciate all the gifts for the kids, but they've got more toys than they can play with; what would you think of maybe getting them one small toy and then making a contribution to their college fund for birthdays and Christmas instead?"

That's not worded very well, but I have to be at "work" (that is, commute from my home computer to my work computer, as I'm working from home today!) in 3 minutes.  ;-)  But you get the idea--help break the cycle of gifting of consumer "crap" that will be broken or forgotten or considered clutter in a year's time, in favor of setting the kids up for success when they launch as adults.

One more idea while my computer is booting.  :)

Set up an Amazon wish list for the kids with things they need--items of clothing, stuff for activities, stuff for school.  Encourage people giving gifts to your kids to check the wish list when buying.

Excellent idea!  Also, if you do gift-giving for the adults now is maybe the time to step back from doing that.  Take a look at how much you spent on all gifts this past Christmas season, not just for your kids, but for everyone you gave to.  Adds up quick doesn't it?  The time to have that conversation is now and be honest but kind when you do.  Suggest that instead of giving gifts you have a huge potluck dinner and that their company is better than any material gift.  My friends and I do this every year and it's always a big hit.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 12, 2017, 07:06:37 AM
Tell Mrs. Beatles that is excellent work! Love the big jar of applesauce!

Your blog post was great too. It might be the first time I could even peripherally be considered hippyish.

Have you discovered the Journals section here at the forum? It's a members-only area, and veers more toward support and reinforcement than face punches. You could start a journal, then copy over your blog post if you want a more interactive experience. You may not! You may just want a place to noodle on things. I'm just putting it out there.

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/ (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 12, 2017, 07:08:03 AM
Excellent idea!  Also, if you do gift-giving for the adults now is maybe the time to step back from doing that.  Take a look at how much you spent on all gifts this past Christmas season, not just for your kids, but for everyone you gave to.  Adds up quick doesn't it?  The time to have that conversation is now and be honest but kind when you do.  Suggest that instead of giving gifts you have a huge potluck dinner and that their company is better than any material gift.  My friends and I do this every year and it's always a big hit.
We just started doing that two years ago. 3 years ago, we got my parents their first ever amazon prime subscription (a service, not a "thing"). They loved it and have been reporting back with shows they binge watch. So last year I was going to renew it for them - but also for myself I wanted an instant pot, which was about the same price and I could pick it up at a walmart within biking distance. I called them and said "here's what I want to get you, and here's what I want ... but wouldn't it be so much easier if instead of me figuring out now how to add a year into your account on amazon, and you having to pay to ship something that's a mile away from me, we just each got these things for ourselves and considered it a "gift"?

That broke the ice, they were grateful they didn't have to actually deal with gift giving hassles. This year, we didn't even specify gifts - we just said "hey that worked out pretty well last year, can we skip the gift exchange this year too? This year my sister joined in as well. Her budget is tighter than ours, and she was glad not to have to buy stuff for my parents or me, which I imagine is frustrating to do when you're paying money you can't afford to buy things for people who don't want more crap in their house out of a sense of obligation.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 12, 2017, 07:12:53 AM
We have everything here - Mini Mustache area for kids (well, parents of kids), the Tax section, the investment section, the DIY section, the challenge section, the boast section (Share Your Badassity) - you can stay on here forever.  ;-)

Also laughed at being a money hippie.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 12, 2017, 07:16:26 AM
We have everything here - Mini Mustache area for kids (well, parents of kids), the Tax section, the investment section, the DIY section, the challenge section, the boast section (Share Your Badassity) - you can stay on here forever.  ;-)
And it's all here in one handy thread! We could probably do away with the rest of the forum now. :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 12, 2017, 07:17:31 AM
We have everything here - Mini Mustache area for kids (well, parents of kids), the Tax section, the investment section, the DIY section, the challenge section, the boast section (Share Your Badassity) - you can stay on here forever.  ;-)
And it's all here in one handy thread! We could probably do away with the rest of the forum now. :)

Well, all except the Journals and meetups.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: charis on January 12, 2017, 07:33:15 AM
Congrats!  Glad you didn't bounce - it will be worth it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 12, 2017, 07:47:53 AM
Wife did weekly shopping today.

$13!

We only needed "essentials" as we've been eating all the stuff that has been accumulating in our pantry and freezer.
Quote
She is mad that I didn't include the fact that she returned cans for $3 so it was actually only $10.

Gotta include that, apparently lol.

Cool!

So, the beatles, on day 5, we have the following:

(1) Cut out $600 monthly lunches for employees

(2) Cut out $70 monthly massages

(3) Actually cutting groceries! (not yet sure $ amount)

(4) Talked to CPA about IRS solution.

(5) Good!  What is going to be number 5 for you?

Also, how are you tracking January's spending?  It does not have to be anything fancy.  I write mine down on a piece of paper.

Thur
Jan 12  $32.51 Gasoline
. . . . . .$10.00 Grocery

Like that on down the page.  Then it is a simple matter of adding up the categories (gas, grocery, car maintenance, clothing, alcohol, and so on) at the end of the month.  I do it weekly in addition to monthly to have a better idea of where we are going and see if a problem is developing (and also because it is easier than doing it all at the end of the month, which is a little daunting).
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Mmm_Donuts on January 12, 2017, 07:52:50 AM
Congrats, Beatles. You say you can't live with only one car, how about selling the expensive car, buying a cheap car, and pocketing the difference, as others have suggested? This will bring in an quick ~$5000.

And are you talking to a real estate agent about putting the rental house on the market, or is that coming soon?

You've made great progress by sticking around. I just am here to push you to not forget about the big items, that could make a serious dent in your debts.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 12, 2017, 08:48:43 AM
Congrats, Beatles. You say you can't live with only one car, how about selling the expensive car, buying a cheap car, and pocketing the difference, as others have suggested? This will bring in an quick ~$5000.

And are you talking to a real estate agent about putting the rental house on the market, or is that coming soon?

You've made great progress by sticking around. I just am here to push you to not forget about the big items, that could make a serious dent in your debts.

We actually did talk to a real estate agent (same one who sold us our current home).

She said that we would be foolish to sell the home without doing the roof, as it will push away a lot of buyers and drive our price down.

But then other posters on here say I should sell without the roof done. I dont know.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 12, 2017, 08:53:14 AM
I did something kinda stupid this morning.

At risk of being called a troll, I won't say what it is.

But i'll just say that i'm still learning to control the urge to spend - apparently.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: CheapScholar on January 12, 2017, 08:57:08 AM
Hmmm.  That might depend on the market in your area.  It's a seller's market in many locations right now.  The problem with replacing the roof is that you want to get all of those dollars back.  As you know, MANY Americans buy the most expensive place a bank will let them.  By making any improvement you risk reducing the number of prospective buyers.  Does the current roof have a couple years left?  Or does it look awful, and will any home inspector say it needs to be replaced immediately?

BTW, you're killing it Beatles.  You put yourself out there in front of all of us.  Some people, myself included, gave you some harsh words but you took it like a man and you're pushing forward.  Good for you.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 12, 2017, 09:00:47 AM
I did something kinda stupid this morning.

At risk of being called a troll, I won't say what it is.

But i'll just say that i'm still learning to control the urge to spend - apparently.

Get back on the horse, beatles! You're on a long journey; there's gonna be a few "one step forward, two steps back" moments. At least you recognize it for what it is.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 12, 2017, 09:02:59 AM

We actually did talk to a real estate agent (same one who sold us our current home).

She said that we would be foolish to sell the home without doing the roof, as it will push away a lot of buyers and drive our price down.

But then other posters on here say I should sell without the roof done. I dont know.
Try another estate agent, hopefully one who deals in rentals.

My take is: you only need one buyer, not lots, and you are probably looking at an investment buyer who is unlikely to be put off by the need for a new roof, and may well be in a better position to get the roof done than you are (eg likely to have contacts and expertise).   

The price will go down, but the question is: will it go down by more than the cost of a new roof?  If not, then you are not losing anything (the estate agent is losing a bit of commission, of course and may have a slightly harder job than usual if they are not used to doing anything other than selling McMansions in the suburbs to owner occupiers).  And given that you don't in any case have the money to fix the roof, what is your alternative to putting it on the market and negotiating a decent price that takes the roof into account?

I did something kinda stupid this morning.

At risk of being called a troll, I won't say what it is.

But i'll just say that i'm still learning to control the urge to spend - apparently.
Remote starter?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: YoungGranny on January 12, 2017, 09:04:13 AM
I did something kinda stupid this morning.

At risk of being called a troll, I won't say what it is.

But i'll just say that i'm still learning to control the urge to spend - apparently.

Everybody makes mistakes. You've clearly learned a lot since starting this thread, of course you'll still have setbacks but don't let them derail you. Keep buggering on Beatles!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 12, 2017, 09:04:28 AM
What's the formula for net worth?

I'm assuming ours would be in the negatives, but what would it be?

Assets minus liabilities equals net worth. So, what you own minus what you owe.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 12, 2017, 09:08:47 AM

We actually did talk to a real estate agent (same one who sold us our current home).

She said that we would be foolish to sell the home without doing the roof, as it will push away a lot of buyers and drive our price down.

But then other posters on here say I should sell without the roof done. I dont know.
Try another estate agent, hopefully one who deals in rentals.

My take is: you only need one buyer, not lots, and you are probably looking at an investment buyer who is unlikely to be put off by the need for a new roof, and may well be in a better position to get the roof done than you are (eg likely to have contacts and expertise).   

The price will go down, but the question is: will it go down by more than the cost of a new roof?  If not, then you are not losing anything (the estate agent is losing a bit of commission, of course and may have a slightly harder job than usual if they are not used to doing anything other than selling McMansions in the suburbs to owner occupiers).  And given that you don't in any case have the money to fix the roof, what is your alternative to putting it on the market and negotiating a decent price that takes the roof into account?

I did something kinda stupid this morning.

At risk of being called a troll, I won't say what it is.

But i'll just say that i'm still learning to control the urge to spend - apparently.
Remote starter?

That's the thing.

It's not a typical rental.

It's a single family home on a nice street. We lived there and moved out. That's the only reason its a rental.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 12, 2017, 09:10:43 AM
I did something kinda stupid this morning.

At risk of being called a troll, I won't say what it is.

But i'll just say that i'm still learning to control the urge to spend - apparently.

Get back on the horse, beatles! You're on a long journey; there's gonna be a few "one step forward, two steps back" moments. At least you recognize it for what it is.

Thanks.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 12, 2017, 09:15:13 AM
I did something kinda stupid this morning.

At risk of being called a troll, I won't say what it is.

But i'll just say that i'm still learning to control the urge to spend - apparently.

Use this as a learning experience.

First: Can you undo the damage, take it back?

Second: Identify the circumstances that caused you to slip. Was it the environment, was it something emotional, was it just being on autopilot, was it a habit?

Third: What is the "why" behind the purchase what need were you trying to meet? Copying the advice I suggested earlier

****
Blogs recommendation: Northwest Edible Life's money category:
http://www.nwedible.com/topics/productive-home/frugality-finance/

IF YOU ONLY READ ONE THING:http://www.nwedible.com/mini-money-challenge-occupy-your-brainwhat-you-want-isnt-really-what-you-want/ (http://www.nwedible.com/mini-money-challenge-occupy-your-brainwhat-you-want-isnt-really-what-you-want/)

Print out the blank worksheet: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/35224895/NWEdible_What_I_Really_Want_From_My_Purchases_Chart.pdf

DO THIS FOR EVERY SINGLE PURCHASE. HAVE YOUR WIFE DO THIS FOR EVERY PURCHASE.

Those "diet" full of sugar, fake snack foods? Why do you want them? What is the purpose those are meeting? What are the FEELINGS you think it will address...what do you REALLY want?

Same with the TV, same with the extra freezer...everything. You have to start thinking critically and thinking deeper. Print out multiple copies of this worksheet. Share your thought process if it helps. This is something you can do RIGHT NOW that will make a BIG difference.
****

Ideally, you ask these questions BEFORE you buy, but you can also ask them afterward to figure out where your head was at.

What I want?

Why I want it?

Problems I think it will solve?

Feelings I think it will address?

What I really want?

Going through this exercise would make a great blog post!




Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 12, 2017, 09:16:55 AM
Your real estate agent makes a commission based on the sale price of the home.  If she can convince you to invest in the roof yourself and sell the house at a higher cost, does she earn significantly more than if you give the buyers a discount for the cost of the roof?

I'm not a realtor, but it seems like she has a conflict of interest there.

But even so, I'm not sure that's relevant, because you don't have the money to fix the roof. Did you tell the realtor you don't have the money?

Also. Whatever you bought this morning, can you return it? (did you make *past tense* a bad decision, or are you still at this moment continuing to make it?)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 12, 2017, 09:24:02 AM
I did something kinda stupid this morning.

At risk of being called a troll, I won't say what it is.

But i'll just say that i'm still learning to control the urge to spend - apparently.

Use this as a learning experience.

First: Can you undo the damage, take it back?

Second: Identify the circumstances that caused you to slip. Was it the environment, was it something emotional, was it just being on autopilot, was it a habit?

Third: What is the "why" behind the purchase what need were you trying to meet? Copying the advice I suggested earlier

****
Blogs recommendation: Northwest Edible Life's money category:
http://www.nwedible.com/topics/productive-home/frugality-finance/

IF YOU ONLY READ ONE THING:http://www.nwedible.com/mini-money-challenge-occupy-your-brainwhat-you-want-isnt-really-what-you-want/ (http://www.nwedible.com/mini-money-challenge-occupy-your-brainwhat-you-want-isnt-really-what-you-want/)

Print out the blank worksheet: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/35224895/NWEdible_What_I_Really_Want_From_My_Purchases_Chart.pdf

DO THIS FOR EVERY SINGLE PURCHASE. HAVE YOUR WIFE DO THIS FOR EVERY PURCHASE.

Those "diet" full of sugar, fake snack foods? Why do you want them? What is the purpose those are meeting? What are the FEELINGS you think it will address...what do you REALLY want?

Same with the TV, same with the extra freezer...everything. You have to start thinking critically and thinking deeper. Print out multiple copies of this worksheet. Share your thought process if it helps. This is something you can do RIGHT NOW that will make a BIG difference.
****

Ideally, you ask these questions BEFORE you buy, but you can also ask them afterward to figure out where your head was at.

What I want?

Why I want it?

Problems I think it will solve?

Feelings I think it will address?

What I really want?

Going through this exercise would make a great blog post!

I'll just say it.

It's a TV.

I may be able to cancel the order before it even ships.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 12, 2017, 09:26:45 AM
Please try canceling it. Now. Before you post again.

(Don't make us all come after you with pitchforks.)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 12, 2017, 09:26:53 AM
You are selling the house with a tenant in situ (because you can't afford to get rid of the tenant and lose income before the sale date) so it is a rental.  Look up listings for sales of rentals in the area that house is in and talk to the agents who are selling them for advice.

Can you either take the "thing" back (if you bought it in person) or ring up (if you bought it on the internet) to cancel - if you do this before they have even started to deal with the order you should be able to persuade them not to charge you.

If your buying habit is internet based, please delete all the quick links to those sites from your computer.

You need Mrs Beatles on your side here.  If she is taking the trouble to return $3 worth on goods on her shopping, and is proud of herself for doing it (as she should be) and then you spend 70 times that on a luxury, how is she going to feel?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 12, 2017, 09:28:19 AM

I'll just say it.

It's a TV.

I may be able to cancel the order before it even ships.

If you put in the order this morning, you can still cancel it. Do this right now and let us know you have done it.

This is a great opportunity to show yourself (and us minions) how serious and dedicated you are. It is a great opportunity to figure out what ideas you are rebelling against. Make no mistake, this is an act of rebellion against yourself and your family - but you can stop it and learn from it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marielle on January 12, 2017, 09:31:23 AM
If certain websites are a problem for you, what about a Chrome extension to block those websites? For example, StayFocusd:
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/stayfocusd/laankejkbhbdhmipfmgcngdelahlfoji?hl=en

If it's Amazon, or Ebay, or some other site like that you don't need it. Block it for a month, 6 months, or even forever. If you paid for Prime, call them and see if you can get reimbursed. You can buy food and other household stuff in a physical store, with physical cash. Actually having to give away that cold, hard cash will be harder than clicking a button online and money disappearing without you seeing it. It's actually been proven with a study that people spend less when they use only cash.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 12, 2017, 09:31:58 AM
Next steps: AFTER CANCELING ORDER

Delete ALL your saved credit card info from every shopping website you frequent. Maybe your wife can help you with this.

Cut up/Freeze in a big block of ice your credit cards. Seriously, you need to do this until you have the mental and emotional stability you need to evaluate your spending decisions.

Come back and report your successes!
Title: The beatles Case Study
Post by: pbkmaine on January 12, 2017, 09:41:43 AM
1) Cancel the order. 2) Freeze the credit cards in a block of ice. 3) Go to cash and an envelope system for spending. 4) Enroll in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. 5) Sell current home and move back into rental, if it's in a decent school district.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 12, 2017, 09:59:03 AM
I canceled it.

:(
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 12, 2017, 10:01:17 AM
I'll just say it.

It's a TV.

I may be able to cancel the order before it even ships.

I would be really interested in the thought process behind this purchase. As in what exactly happened that led to you purchasing a TV you don't need with money you don't have? I can't imagine it being like "well, I need milk for the boys, gloves for myself since it's getting cold, and I'll also take that $3000 TV set because why the hell not". I just don't understand it since to me, a TV is nothing one buys spontaneously. It involves a lot of thinking, reading, and tons of research in regards to model, capabilities, quality, price, etc.

What's the dynamic here? What made you buy another TV? You've mentioned that you already own three TVs in your house, why did you feel the "need" to purchase a fourth one?

I'm really curious here.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 12, 2017, 10:03:04 AM
I'll just say it.

It's a TV.

I may be able to cancel the order before it even ships.

I would be really interested in the thought process behind this purchase. As in what exactly happened that led to you purchasing a TV you don't need with money you don't have? I can't imagine it being like "well, I need milk for the boys, gloves for myself since it's getting cold, and I'll also take that $3000 TV set because why the hell not". I just don't understand it since to me, a TV is nothing one buys spontaneously. It involves a lot of thinking, reading, and tons of research in regards to model, capabilities, quality, price, etc.

What's the dynamic here? What made you buy another TV? You've mentioned that you already own three TVs in your house, why did you feel the "need" to purchase a fourth one?

I'm really curious here.

It was actually a replacement of the third.

The bedroom TV had started to act a little strange.

In the middle of a show it'll fuzz out for a moment, and then come back.

I think it's only a matter of time until its done for good.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ausername on January 12, 2017, 10:04:49 AM
Well done beatles :-)

I'm battling buying lovely pastries on the way to work at the moment, although I've a lot of other stuff very sorted...we're all only learning and it's brilliant that you've cancelled it.

I just wanted to say that I loved your first blog post too and will definitely keep reading :-)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: terran on January 12, 2017, 10:04:58 AM
I canceled it.

:( :)

I fixed that for you. Good job!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: charis on January 12, 2017, 10:06:57 AM
After canceling the TV, examine the feelings that caused you to buy it.   You have several TVs, so you obviously aren't in "need" of a television.   Is part of your self-worth or feelings about yourself tied to having something nicer, better, or more than what you currently have? Is it image related or the rush of getting a good deal? 

After you have been at this for a while, you will start to feel negatively about accumulating STUFF.  I hate getting or buying things just for the sake of doing so.  I am forever trying to clean out my house to the chagrin of my husband.

We have one TV in the living room and a TV in the bedroom that we've never used (it's broken now but for some reason we never watched TV in the bedroom).  Why do you need to have television available in several places in your house?  This is not snarky, I truly don't understand.  Also not suggesting that we are "above" TV - we watch netflix every night and are on our phones way too much.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 12, 2017, 10:09:11 AM
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/05/06/mmm-challenge-cut-your-cash-leaking-umbilical-cord/

Quote
The prize for this week’s challenge is about Nine Thousand Dollars, plus getting the equivalent of about 36 weeks of extra vacation time each year. That would bring you up fairly close to my own level of  leisure.

The challenge, of course, is to immediately and completely cancel your cable television service forever.

Now I will admit that TV programming has really advanced in modern years, with a spectacular array of new channels. At one moment, you could be watching a young Brazilian girl blow a Vuvuzela at the World Cup game, and with just the press of a thumb you could be transported into the deepest reaches of a smoke-filled senior center watching a bingo game. You can study the most incredibly well produced commercials for an average of 16.5 minutes out of every hour, which will keep you informed of the must-have products of the day, protecting you from accidentally thinking your current products were sufficient.

Contemporary television must be great, because everyone has it. If you’ve ever gone for a night time walk around your town, as I like to do often, you’ll notice that almost EVERY SINGLE HOUSE has flashing blue light streaming out through its windows. If you peek through into their living rooms, as I also like to do . . .
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 12, 2017, 10:10:35 AM
Ok, not exactly an answer to my question but something we can work with.

Where are your other two TVs located? I'm guessing one is in the basement and the other in the living room? If you really want a TV in your bedroom, couldn't you just move the one from the basement into your bedroom for the time being? Assuming the one in the basement is actually the one that gets used the least.

Also, fuzzing out does not sound like the TV is going to die anytime soon. My guess would be either bad signal (antenna/satellite/cable) or interrupted stream (Netflix, Hulu, etc.) but certainly not a dying TV.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 12, 2017, 10:12:15 AM
Good Job Beatles, like starting to exercise, you are using muscles you are not use to using. It hurts a bit, but it will get easier and you will get stronger.

Another idea to explore: WHY is it so important to have a TV in your bedroom? What purpose does it serve? Could you use that time snuggling up with and really getting to really know your wife, and start building a dream together? With kids and stress, especially money stress it is really easy to lose sight of who you are as an individual and a couple. It would be a great time to explore that together.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 12, 2017, 10:12:36 AM
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/04/21/guest-posting-its-all-bullshit/

Quote
Don’t be a drone.

Turn off your television. Not just for a day, or a week, but for months. Don’t watch advertisements. Get yourself off all of those electronic mailing lists. All of these are turning you into a drone.

It will take a while, but as you un-program yourself, you’ll begin to see how stupidly the world is run. You’ll begin to scratch your head when you occasion to run across those ads in your everyday life. Their nectar will no long smell as sweet. Their clever patterns will no longer lure you in. You will no longer be a Bumblebee of Consumption.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: TheJamesGang on January 12, 2017, 10:14:21 AM
I logged in for the first time in probably a year to comment on this.

WOW. Great job for sticking through the 600+ comments and making a plan for your family.

Congratulations. You are on the way to changing your family in more areas than just money. 5 years from now hopefully we can all look back at this thread as the beginning of when The Beatles turned his family's life around.

Keep trucking and pick yourself up when you fall. It looks like everyone on here doesn't make mistakes but we all have. We've all made dumb purchases that we've kicked ourselves about afterwards. The key is to keep picking yourself up and moving forward. Before you know it you will be a pro at budgeting and saving money.

If you need any advice PM me and i'll be glad to help. We started 5 years ago reading MMM and now have a NW over 120K and 60k in retirement (1 income, 3 kids under 5)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Poundwise on January 12, 2017, 10:15:36 AM
If you are interested in troubleshooting the problem with your TV, try posting in the DIY section:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/do-it-yourself-forum!/

I would start by swapping out TVs for a while to see if it's the signal or the actual machine.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 12, 2017, 10:32:20 AM
I just want to post to say congrats on the progress you are making so far, both you and your wife. We are cheering for you!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 12, 2017, 10:38:59 AM
I would start by swapping out TVs for a while to see if it's the signal or the actual machine.

This. This is how an engineer analyzes and ultimately fixes a problem. It's not rocket science (well, for some engineers it is), it's simple small steps to eliminate all other options and impacts. There's a joke that pretty much sums this up: What does an engineer do if he notices his front left tire is punctured? He swaps it with the front right tire to see whether the problem persists. Think about it next time something "breaks".

Once you're 100% it actually is broken take it to a Repair Café (https://repaircafe.org/en/about/) nearby and have someone take a look at it. I used to attend these occasionally to help people fix their old stuff they were unable to repair themselves (obviously not everybody is an engineer and knows how to hold a soldering iron. Hint: pointy end down and away from any orifices!). I've been shocked at how many people throw away perfectly good electronics because they think they're broken. I can't even tell you how many laptops/computers I've "rescued" from the dumpster that needed nothing but a reinstall of Windows (cost of repair: $0), had a faulty RAM chip (cost of repair: $20) or harddrive (cost of repair: $50). Yet their previous owners decided it somehow made more sense to spend $500 on a new laptop instead.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 12, 2017, 11:09:37 AM
Awesome job returning the TV!  Everyone screws up.  You've been working on "I want it, I'll buy it" for so long that it's going to take time to cancel the autopilot.  The important part is that you caught yourself and fixed it.

It sounds like you need some practice distinguishing a "want" from a "need."  I'd propose an exercise.  First, you need to finish your monthly budget, with a certain amount going to debt repayment (that part's non-negotiable).  Next, make a list of all of your needs and wants, from groceries to college funding to winter coats for the kids to new TVs to vacations to retiring by X date to even faster debt repayment, etc.  Then put them in order, from the most important to the least. 

Now, whenever you want/need something, look at that list.  Where does this thing fall?  Is it near the top (meaning it's a real need)?  Is everything else that is above it on your list already taken care of within your existing budget?  Awesome!  If you can fit it in your budget (in cash), go for it!  Is it lower on the list than something else?  Then it gets put aside until you get that higher priority thing taken care of. 

Of course, the reality is that until you get your debts paid off, you really don't have room in the budget for any of the wants.  But that list can help you reframe the issue in the moment of temptation -- it's not just "I want," it's "do I want this more than that?"  You need to train your brain to see your monthly budget as a zero-sum game -- getting X means you don't get Y. 

But the really important thing is that the list makes the whole exercise not about deprivation.  This whole thing will crash and burn if you spend the next year telling yourself "I can't have any toys because the money hippies said so" -- that's like white-knuckling it through a starvation diet, and we all know what happens when diets end.  But focusing on your list turns "I want but can't have, grumble grumble," into "you know, I want this TV, but my kids need winter coats, so I'm going to be a good dad and make sure they're taken care of first."  And that is something you can feel good about instead of deprived.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 12, 2017, 11:12:05 AM
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/04/21/guest-posting-its-all-bullshit/

Quote
Don’t be a drone.

Turn off your television. Not just for a day, or a week, but for months. Don’t watch advertisements. Get yourself off all of those electronic mailing lists. All of these are turning you into a drone.

It will take a while, but as you un-program yourself, you’ll begin to see how stupidly the world is run. You’ll begin to scratch your head when you occasion to run across those ads in your everyday life. Their nectar will no long smell as sweet. Their clever patterns will no longer lure you in. You will no longer be a Bumblebee of Consumption.


This.  TV is bad for us.  Reducing or eliminating it = more time, more money, less stress, more focus, better health, better sleep, better relationships. 

Great job returning the TV!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Allie on January 12, 2017, 11:36:29 AM
I did something kinda stupid this morning.

At risk of being called a troll, I won't say what it is.

But i'll just say that i'm still learning to control the urge to spend - apparently.

you did return it!  Awesome.

Seriously, our TV died, like totally died, a few years ago.  Some internet research revealed it was a problem with some internal component.  With a soldering iron, a $5 part, and a youtube video, I could have fixed it myself.  I'm not an engineer, but I can mimic what a guy does on YouTube.  A little more research revealed it was a known problem with the Samsung version we had, so I called the company, complained nicely, and they sent a guy who repairs TVs to my house to fix it - for free.  The TV is still working to this day. 

Instead of searching for the cost of new TV's, try fixing it first.  Switch TVs.  If it's still freaking out, Google the problem and dig a little.  Contact the TV maker.  Call a repair dude to see if it can be fixed for less than the cost of a new TV.  Ours would have cost $80 to fix by a professional and $1000 (it was years ago, 48" flat screens were considered fancy) to replace. 

I'd recommend that you figure out what's wrong with the tv, fix it, then sell it.  I imagine with a little creativity you guys could think of another way to entertain yourselves in your bedroom...books...or something.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 12, 2017, 11:47:10 AM
I did something kinda stupid this morning.

At risk of being called a troll, I won't say what it is.

But i'll just say that i'm still learning to control the urge to spend - apparently.

Return it.  Now.  So simple.

He did :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: scantee on January 12, 2017, 11:57:22 AM
Buying the TV was probably due to a psychological process known as an "extinction burst": when a person acknowledges an undesirable behavior needs to go away entirely (in The Beatles case the undesirable behavior is spending money they don't have) there is often a short-term dramatic increase in that behavior, followed by decline or complete absence of it. Compare to an addict who spends a few days getting as high as possible before going off to rehab.

Your dysfunctional relationship with money is more of an emotional and psychological issue  than a financial one. As others have said, if you want to really address this issue, you need to get at the root causes of why spending money on things is so soothing to you and why you keep doing it even though you recognize it is doing you long-term harm. Once you've address those root causes, the financial stuff will seem absolutely simple by comparison.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: 1967mama on January 12, 2017, 12:22:10 PM
Beatles, You and your wife may find some folks you can identify with on The Dave Ramsey Show (http://www.daveramsey.com/show). I try to tune in a bit every day on my computer while I cook up a storm in the kitchen. I find it very motivating to hear how people dig their way out of debt.  I always get some new ideas. They loop the 3 hour show for 24 hours at a time so you can catch it at any point. It's also available as a free podcast which is awesome for commuters!

Were you able to borrow the book from your parents? Cut up those credit cards yet? (Wink)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 12, 2017, 12:26:44 PM
If you are interested in troubleshooting the problem with your TV, try posting in the DIY section:
http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/do-it-yourself-forum!/

I would start by swapping out TVs for a while to see if it's the signal or the actual machine.

It's definitely the TV.

The same issue occurs on multiple inputs, and sets.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 12, 2017, 01:12:10 PM
You have 2 choices when the TV dies.

Move the one you use least into the bedroom,
OR
Don't have a TV in the bedroom.

Sleep experts say the bedroom should be used for as few activities as possible so you sleep well.  This article is interesting, there are others.
http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/power-down-better-sleep#1 (http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/features/power-down-better-sleep#1)

You wanted a couch in the bedroom at one point.  It is a room for sleeping (the name does mention a bed), and getting dressed, not having guests or marathon TV watching.  If you or your wife were bed-ridden I could see the point, but you have active lives.  Um, when you look at needs versus wants you may end up cutting cable and then the TV availability becomes less important.

Remember that priority list others have suggested you make? 

Doesn't it look somewhat like this?

IRS
car and CC and other debt
Rental house

Savings for retirement
Savings for children's future (education fund)
Short-term savings for unexpected expenses (and your budget should have a long list of expected expenses, even if they only show up once a year)
Emergency fund (illness, job loss, etc.)

Sure you want a replacement TV.  But do you NEED a replacement TV? No.  The main exercise is figuring out wants versus needs.  The secondary exercise is establishing priorities so once your hair on fire debt is taken care of you don't waste money on low-priority spending and then have none for high-priority spending.  Wasn't there mention of a vacation in Hawai'i?  Your kids will enjoy it a lot more when they are older (they won't remember it at their present ages) and you will enjoy it a lot more knowing there is no huge CC bill waiting when you get home.

Seriously.  I had an engine gasket go, the engine replacement cost almost $3000.  Not covered by warranty.  I paid cash (well, I paid on a CC for the points, and then immediately paid off the CC).  No problem except the annoyance factor.  I may be a money hippie*, but I am a solvent money hippie.

*Just a fun factoid, I really did wear a granny dress to a live performance of Hair back in the late 60's.  How much hippier can I be without having ever done drugs?  Yup, honest to dog money hippie here.   ;-)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bee21 on January 12, 2017, 02:14:17 PM
Here we go again. Wife returns 3 dollars worth of cans, does a great job in not buying crap and our hero buys a tv on credit to celebrate their new life! See the pattern here? In my life it translates into i was good and i lost 1 kg by eating soups and salads for 3 days in a row, its time for pizza and cheescake to celebrate. Stupid.this is how i got fat and you poor. We need more discipline in our lives to fix this. Lucky you, you could cancel the order. Well done on that one.

 You should simply need to get a new hobby which doesn't involve spending money. Join the library and borrow every book on personal finance you can find. That will keep you busy.

Nobody should have a tv and a sofa in the bedroom. Especially if you have a large house, a dog and a kid. Play with those kids instead, they are very entertaining at this age. Take the dog for a walk. Teach her new tricks.
You mentioned the kids don't watch tv, they do activities instead. So why do you need 3 tvs in the house? Whywhywhy?

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 12, 2017, 02:23:45 PM
Quote
Stupid.this is how i got fat and you poor.

Calm down here, buddy. We've beaten this guy up black and blue and he is working on making changes and understanding his motivations behind his destructive actions. We are here to be helpful and supportive while giving feedback. Let's be kind.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bee21 on January 12, 2017, 03:14:10 PM
Well, i am usually kind and very understanding, but that replacement third tv broke the back of the camel. Toughen up buttercup.


Tv

Tv

Tv
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: mustachepungoeshere on January 12, 2017, 03:25:26 PM
*Just a fun factoid, I really did wear a granny dress to a live performance of Hair back in the late 60's.  How much hippier can I be without having ever done drugs?  Yup, honest to dog money hippie here.   ;-)

You could have dressed to match the cast in a certain scene... ;)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 12, 2017, 03:29:30 PM
Quote
Well, i am usually kind and very understanding, but that replacement third tv broke the back of the camel. Toughen up buttercup.

He recognized it was a mistake, came here to talk about it, and returned it at our urging. Yeah, it isn't perfect, but damn, that is impressive progress in five days. I stick by my original opinion: be nice.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 12, 2017, 03:35:26 PM
*Just a fun factoid, I really did wear a granny dress to a live performance of Hair back in the late 60's.  How much hippier can I be without having ever done drugs?  Yup, honest to dog money hippie here.   ;-)

You could have dressed to match the cast in a certain scene... ;)

Yup, I could have tied my hair back to make it look like it had been cut short and I was in the military.  ;-)  I do remember the plot, a bit.  My hair was nearly to my waist then.

beatles, sorry, we do tend to go off topic and inject levity into serious threads every now and then.  Look at the name of the person who got us way off topic.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 12, 2017, 05:13:35 PM
You can have two cars, but they don't need to be expensive cars.  Lots of Mustachians use $7000ish cars and they work just great.

I wonder what the average value of a mustachian car is...has a poll been done?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cowardly Toaster on January 12, 2017, 05:33:15 PM
You can have two cars, but they don't need to be expensive cars.  Lots of Mustachians use $7000ish cars and they work just great.

I wonder what the average value of a mustachian car is...has a poll been done?

Did Beatles ever mention how far he has to commute to work? That would play heavily into whether or not he needed 2 cars and how expensive a possible used car would have to be.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 12, 2017, 05:35:07 PM

She said that we would be foolish to sell the home without doing the roof, as it will push away a lot of buyers and drive our price down.

But then other posters on here say I should sell without the roof done. I dont know.

Take the advice of your local real estate professional over that of some Minion Money Hippies from half way across the US.  As the saying goes, all real estate is local.  That is why you pay for a local realtor, because there isn't anyone here that knows the local real estate market as well as she does.

But then, it becomes a problem of financing while in a hole.  First, get a good quote.  Then let us know what it is, and we might be able to come up with something.  I'm still of the opinion that you should really consider, hard, moving back into your starter home.  I think that you over-bought house wise, and that the extra space and costs will harm you for years.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 12, 2017, 05:40:08 PM

I don't know how we could make it work without a 2nd car.


I know that you can do it, it's a question of how to do it best.  I'd wager that if you asked your own parents, there was a time that your parents only had one vehicle between them.  At least, if your mother didn't work outside the home.  I know that it sounds very 1950's, but a second car is always a luxury for a single income family, and you really can't afford any luxuries right now.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: katscratch on January 12, 2017, 05:44:41 PM
*Just a fun factoid, I really did wear a granny dress to a live performance of Hair back in the late 60's.  How much hippier can I be without having ever done drugs?  Yup, honest to dog money hippie here.   ;-)

You could have dressed to match the cast in a certain scene... ;)

Yup, I could have tied my hair back to make it look like it had been cut short and I was in the military.  ;-)  I do remember the plot, a bit.  My hair was nearly to my waist then
.

Preeeetttty sure that's not the scene mustachepungoeshere is thinking of ;) 




beatles, dang man, way to go on that cancellation!!  Even better, you identified your impulse AND made a correction, in one day! 


....I will admit I have considered replacing the TV that is now at college with my son. Bottom line is that it's not necessary to my day to day life.  He bought it just two years ago, and I've only had cable one year in my adult life, so it's not like I was even used to watching TV.  So I won't buy one.  And definitely won't after your good example :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BlueHouse on January 12, 2017, 06:45:04 PM
I mean, do you feel bad that Donald Trump's kids get money from their dad? Or just non-billionaire parents?

Yes, I do feel badly that they get such a huge head start in life and in business because of their parentage.  I believe in meritocracy (although, not total).  It sickens me that Donald Trump thinks he is more successful than I am or that he believes he is smarter than I am.  He started out with vastly more than I did and was able to keep it without losing too much to inflation.  Pretty sure anyone on this forum could have done better.  His children clearly believe that he (and they) deserve the wealth they have.  And that attitude really really bothers me.

Let's not derail an excellent thread by talking about the political situation. There are threads elsewhere for that.
Svenster, I try not to be defensive when another poster disagrees with something I've written, but in this case, you aren't disagreeing with me, you are attempting to redefine the category of my comment and that is not okay, particularly within the current political climate. 
My comment , in direct reply to a question from the OP, had nothing at all to do with politics.  It had to do with my belief that merit should trump nepotism, cronyism, inherited wealth, and especially inherited advantages.  The subject of the example was almost not relevant, other than his being the ultimate example of a person who used his money to buy his children untold advantages in school, business, and life.

tl;dr:  don't try to shut me down by redefining the topic of the statement. 

I do agree that we shouldn't derail this conversation though, so if there is any further discussion, please feel free to start another thread or PM me. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 12, 2017, 07:00:41 PM
*Just a fun factoid, I really did wear a granny dress to a live performance of Hair back in the late 60's.  How much hippier can I be without having ever done drugs?  Yup, honest to dog money hippie here.   ;-)

You could have dressed to match the cast in a certain scene... ;)

Yup, I could have tied my hair back to make it look like it had been cut short and I was in the military.  ;-)  I do remember the plot, a bit.  My hair was nearly to my waist then
.

Preeeetttty sure that's not the scene mustachepungoeshere is thinking of ;) 


Toronto was still pretty strict back then  ;-)


beatles, dang man, way to go on that cancellation!!  Even better, you identified your impulse AND made a correction, in one day! 


....I will admit I have considered replacing the TV that is now at college with my son. Bottom line is that it's not necessary to my day to day life.  He bought it just two years ago, and I've only had cable one year in my adult life, so it's not like I was even used to watching TV.  So I won't buy one.  And definitely won't after your good example :)

Yup, he fell and he caught himself.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 13, 2017, 07:57:13 AM
So, tell us what your accountant is suggesting and when you are implementing it.

So, tell us what the real estate agent thinks you can get for the second house.

So, tell us the $ amount of the roofer bids.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: larmando on January 13, 2017, 09:32:16 AM
I canceled it.

:(

No. You cancelled it. :) Huge win! That's X$ more you now own. Victory!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: larmando on January 13, 2017, 09:35:36 AM
It was actually a replacement of the third.

The bedroom TV had started to act a little strange.

In the middle of a show it'll fuzz out for a moment, and then come back.

I think it's only a matter of time until its done for good.

Oh no. And then you'll have to go *to the other room* to watch tv. Can you imagine the hassle?
Are there even people watching 3 TVs at the same time at your place? Is it just because you want to be in the bedroom? Can you do something else, instead? I have one projector, no tv, and I'm super-happy with that. Definitely wouldn't want an extra in the bedroom. And there's always watching something on the laptop there, in case, for particular moments.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: GetSmart on January 13, 2017, 11:16:40 AM
This is great! I was hoping you’d come back and stick with it.

So here is something you might want to analyze.  At some point in your recent life you lived in a paid off house, with two paid off cars and (presuming) no school loans. 

Guessing here - either you inherited the house OR are the beneficiary of some very generous people (parents) OR you totally had you act together and were badass killing it!  At that point you had 60k a year to spend on food, clothes, toys, gas and insurance - that’s a lot of spending power right there!

So what you might want to think about is what decisions did you make that put you off the track.  What were you doing differently then from what you are doing now.

Personally I would put both houses on the market and see which sold first, then move into the other one.  I also don’t get this whole ‘renter’ house and find a realtor who knows investors / rental market? What is that all about?  It’s a house. People live in it.  Why label it as something that seems to have negative connotations - as if it has less value.  You could ask the tenants if they are interested in buying it and not go through a realtor at all and save the fees.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 13, 2017, 03:39:27 PM
  I also don’t get this whole ‘renter’ house and find a realtor who knows investors / rental market? What is that all about?  It’s a house. People live in it.  Why label it as something that seems to have negative connotations - as if it has less value.  You could ask the tenants if they are interested in buying it and not go through a realtor at all and save the fees.

I think that you might be talking about me here.  I said that, originally, because I wasn't imagining a single family, detached home as the rental.  I was imagining a small building deliberately built as an investment property, such as a duplex or quad. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 13, 2017, 05:04:21 PM
It's Friday.  How was lunch at work today?  This would have been "buy the office lunch" day - how is that going?  I ask because sometimes the hardest steps are not the big huge scary ones, they are the ones that impact other people outside the family.  We are a social animal and we are built to care what others think of us.  That is why this is such a good place for you to be, we will be your responsible spending social group.

Plus of course I am wondering if anyone else has started buying lunch for the group.  I bet no-one has.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 13, 2017, 05:05:09 PM
So, tell us what your accountant is suggesting and when you are implementing it.

So, tell us what the real estate agent thinks you can get for the second house.

So, tell us the $ amount of the roofer bids.

I only spoke with him once (phone consultation) and he doesn't have any full details of the intricacies of my case.

But the accountant said that he has worked deals with the IRS in past where they agree to not only stop charging interest as soon as the person starts paying, but also reduce a large portion of the already accrued interest.

He then amortizes the tax debt over a certain year span. In my case, I might be able to amortize over 4 years and pay an additional $6-8k in income taxes each of the next 4 years to supplement the debt.

(the range of $6k to $8k is because we dont know how much they would be willing to take off, if anything)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 13, 2017, 05:06:26 PM
It's Friday.  How was lunch at work today?  This would have been "buy the office lunch" day - how is that going?  I ask because sometimes the hardest steps are not the big huge scary ones, they are the ones that impact other people outside the family.  We are a social animal and we are built to care what others think of us.  That is why this is such a good place for you to be, we will be your responsible spending social group.

Plus of course I am wondering if anyone else has started buying lunch for the group.  I bet no-one has.

This marks the first week in, I'm not sure how long, that I only purchased 1 day of lunch.

I'm guesstimating that I saved around $145.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 13, 2017, 05:09:14 PM
  I also don’t get this whole ‘renter’ house and find a realtor who knows investors / rental market? What is that all about?  It’s a house. People live in it.  Why label it as something that seems to have negative connotations - as if it has less value.  You could ask the tenants if they are interested in buying it and not go through a realtor at all and save the fees.

I think that you might be talking about me here.  I said that, originally, because I wasn't imagining a single family, detached home as the rental.  I was imagining a small building deliberately built as an investment property, such as a duplex or quad.

Yeah it's a single family, normal house.

We lived in it prior to upgrading.

Well, sort of.

We actually moved out of the rental home into a $300k beautiful home. I'd describe how awesome it was but it'll just piss you all off, so I won't go there.

After a few years we couldn't afford the mortgage anymore and moved to our current house.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marty998 on January 13, 2017, 05:22:15 PM
It's Friday.  How was lunch at work today?  This would have been "buy the office lunch" day - how is that going?  I ask because sometimes the hardest steps are not the big huge scary ones, they are the ones that impact other people outside the family.  We are a social animal and we are built to care what others think of us.  That is why this is such a good place for you to be, we will be your responsible spending social group.

Plus of course I am wondering if anyone else has started buying lunch for the group.  I bet no-one has.

This marks the first week in, I'm not sure how long, that I only purchased 1 day of lunch.

I'm guesstimating that I saved around $145.


Jesus Christ that is $7,500 per year. Giddy up!

Fucking fantastic.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Poundwise on January 13, 2017, 05:37:03 PM

This marks the first week in, I'm not sure how long, that I only purchased 1 day of lunch.

I'm guesstimating that I saved around $145.

Great job!!  Do you have enough money in the bank to send that amount to your CC card with the highest rate, right away? When is payday?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 13, 2017, 05:52:41 PM

This marks the first week in, I'm not sure how long, that I only purchased 1 day of lunch.

I'm guesstimating that I saved around $145.

Great job!!  Do you have enough money in the bank to send that amount to your CC card with the highest rate, right away? When is payday?

Good idea.  Instant reward.  Every week that you don't buy the office lunch, send that money to a CC.  You see the direct result of the change, and don't get tempted to spend it on something else.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 13, 2017, 06:06:53 PM

We actually moved out of the rental home into a $300k beautiful home. I'd describe how awesome it was but it'll just piss you all off, so I won't go there.

After a few years we couldn't afford the mortgage anymore and moved to our current house.

You're house poor.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MDM on January 13, 2017, 06:25:48 PM
I added a lot more details, and dug down to get the exact amounts as requested.
Looking good.

Some points:
- You should be taking depreciation on the rental.  If you sell it, you'll have to do Depreciation recapture (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depreciation_recapture_(United_States)) whether you take it now or not.
- Consider using the Free Debt Reduction Calculator for Excel (https://www.vertex42.com/Calculators/debt-reduction-calculator.html) (scroll down past the annoying DOCtoPDF download button and use the download "for Excel, OpenOffice, and Google Sheets".  Pick a payoff order that makes sense to you and do it.
- See Investment Order (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/investor-alley/investment-order-65299/msg1333153/#msg1333153).  At this point you probably shouldn't go past step #2:
0. Establish an emergency fund to your satisfaction           
1. Contribute to your 401k up to any company match           
2. Pay off any debts with interest rates ~5% or more above the 10-year Treasury note yield.   
Even the HSA might save you "only" 15% while getting the high interest CCs paid off will save 25%.       
Thank you.
I just downloaded the calculator.

Just curious - what payoff order have you picked?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 13, 2017, 06:35:46 PM
I added a lot more details, and dug down to get the exact amounts as requested.
Looking good.

Some points:
- You should be taking depreciation on the rental.  If you sell it, you'll have to do Depreciation recapture (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depreciation_recapture_(United_States)) whether you take it now or not.
- Consider using the Free Debt Reduction Calculator for Excel (https://www.vertex42.com/Calculators/debt-reduction-calculator.html) (scroll down past the annoying DOCtoPDF download button and use the download "for Excel, OpenOffice, and Google Sheets".  Pick a payoff order that makes sense to you and do it.
- See Investment Order (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/investor-alley/investment-order-65299/msg1333153/#msg1333153).  At this point you probably shouldn't go past step #2:
0. Establish an emergency fund to your satisfaction           
1. Contribute to your 401k up to any company match           
2. Pay off any debts with interest rates ~5% or more above the 10-year Treasury note yield.   
Even the HSA might save you "only" 15% while getting the high interest CCs paid off will save 25%.       
Thank you.
I just downloaded the calculator.

Just curious - what payoff order have you picked?

I decided to do lowest amount first.

I know there's a lot of people who say to do highest interest first.

So I almost did an eeny meeny miny mo type of deal.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 13, 2017, 06:36:25 PM
Mrs. Beatles shopping today.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 13, 2017, 06:37:54 PM

We actually moved out of the rental home into a $300k beautiful home. I'd describe how awesome it was but it'll just piss you all off, so I won't go there.

After a few years we couldn't afford the mortgage anymore and moved to our current house.

You're house poor.

Sorry, I may have not been clear.

We no longer live in the 300k house.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 13, 2017, 06:39:42 PM

We actually moved out of the rental home into a $300k beautiful home. I'd describe how awesome it was but it'll just piss you all off, so I won't go there.

After a few years we couldn't afford the mortgage anymore and moved to our current house.

You're house poor.

Sorry, I may have not been clear.

We no longer live in the 300k house.

It's still affecting you.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MDM on January 13, 2017, 06:42:10 PM
I added a lot more details, and dug down to get the exact amounts as requested.
Looking good.

Some points:
- You should be taking depreciation on the rental.  If you sell it, you'll have to do Depreciation recapture (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depreciation_recapture_(United_States)) whether you take it now or not.
- Consider using the Free Debt Reduction Calculator for Excel (https://www.vertex42.com/Calculators/debt-reduction-calculator.html) (scroll down past the annoying DOCtoPDF download button and use the download "for Excel, OpenOffice, and Google Sheets".  Pick a payoff order that makes sense to you and do it.
- See Investment Order (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/investor-alley/investment-order-65299/msg1333153/#msg1333153).  At this point you probably shouldn't go past step #2:
0. Establish an emergency fund to your satisfaction           
1. Contribute to your 401k up to any company match           
2. Pay off any debts with interest rates ~5% or more above the 10-year Treasury note yield.   
Even the HSA might save you "only" 15% while getting the high interest CCs paid off will save 25%.       
Thank you.
I just downloaded the calculator.

Just curious - what payoff order have you picked?

I decided to do lowest amount first.

I know there's a lot of people who say to do highest interest first.

So I almost did an eeny meeny miny mo type of deal.
That's fine.  You should do whatever works best for you. 

Paying toward the highest interest loans first will in fact cost you the least amount of money - as the Excel calculator should have shown - provided you do keep current on all the loans.

But there is also a psychological benefit to reducing the number of outstanding loans that makes it more likely you will keep current on all of them.

People can tell you what seems best to them.  Only you can say what is best for you.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Poundwise on January 13, 2017, 06:46:22 PM
Mrs. Beatles shopping today.

I hate to criticize the poor thing; she's been doing so well. I would have skipped the Dixie cups and the calendar, at the least. Use reusable cups.  Also, it's easy to pick up free calendars, and at worst you can print them out. 

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 13, 2017, 06:58:47 PM
I added a lot more details, and dug down to get the exact amounts as requested.
Looking good.

Some points:
- You should be taking depreciation on the rental.  If you sell it, you'll have to do Depreciation recapture (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depreciation_recapture_(United_States)) whether you take it now or not.
- Consider using the Free Debt Reduction Calculator for Excel (https://www.vertex42.com/Calculators/debt-reduction-calculator.html) (scroll down past the annoying DOCtoPDF download button and use the download "for Excel, OpenOffice, and Google Sheets".  Pick a payoff order that makes sense to you and do it.
- See Investment Order (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/investor-alley/investment-order-65299/msg1333153/#msg1333153).  At this point you probably shouldn't go past step #2:
0. Establish an emergency fund to your satisfaction           
1. Contribute to your 401k up to any company match           
2. Pay off any debts with interest rates ~5% or more above the 10-year Treasury note yield.   
Even the HSA might save you "only" 15% while getting the high interest CCs paid off will save 25%.       
Thank you.
I just downloaded the calculator.

Just curious - what payoff order have you picked?

I decided to do lowest amount first.

I know there's a lot of people who say to do highest interest first.

So I almost did an eeny meeny miny mo type of deal.
That's fine.  You should do whatever works best for you. 

Paying toward the highest interest loans first will in fact cost you the least amount of money - as the Excel calculator should have shown - provided you do keep current on all the loans.

But there is also a psychological benefit to reducing the number of outstanding loans that makes it more likely you will keep current on all of them.

People can tell you what seems best to them.  Only you can say what is best for you.

Thank you!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Allie on January 13, 2017, 07:07:19 PM
She's doing great, but can she return the calendar, mascara, cups, and whatever plates are?  You sent back a TV, target can take back cups!  I get home, go "what was I thinking, I don't need or really even want any of this." Then take it back next trip.  Stores, target in particular, are so good at getting us to put things in our carts, it's almost criminal.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: katscratch on January 13, 2017, 07:14:27 PM
In spite of the impulse/want-and-not-need purchases, I gotta say, that's some good Cartwheel and coupon stacking on the Mrs' part :)  And no junk food! 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 13, 2017, 07:22:54 PM
She's doing great, but can she return the calendar, mascara, cups, and whatever plates are?  You sent back a TV, target can take back cups!  I get home, go "what was I thinking, I don't need or really even want any of this." Then take it back next trip.  Stores, target in particular, are so good at getting us to put things in our carts, it's almost criminal.

I think some of her spending is a coping mechanism or something.

She told me that sometimes she'll go online and fill up her cart on Amazon or something, but then not complete the purchase.

She said shopping makes her feel happy.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 13, 2017, 07:35:10 PM

She said shopping makes her feel happy.

She needs a new hobby.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 13, 2017, 08:58:14 PM

She said shopping makes her feel happy.

She needs a new hobby.
Mrs. Beatles is doing great and she needs some support.

Just the conscious realization that shopping makes her happy is a GIGANTIC LEAP FORWARD. There is a whole cascade of chemical and psychological effects going on.  You can't change what you don't acknowledge.

Beatles, You know that post I keep linking to? and the worksheet? Ask Mrs. Beatles to pull out the items and sit with those questions for a while. Answer them for each item and see what comes up for her.

She does need to find other things that make her happy. Not only that she has to identify what is making her feel unhappy. I'm willing to bet a huge amount of it has to do with the stress you are under due to your finances.

I'm guessing you have gotten loads of PM"s offering support for both you and Mrs. Beatles. Take us up on it. A good chunk of money issues really isn't about the money.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Meowmalade on January 13, 2017, 10:56:48 PM
She told me that sometimes she'll go online and fill up her cart on Amazon or something, but then not complete the purchase.

She said shopping makes her feel happy.

Hi Beatles, you guys are doing great!  It sounds like Mrs. Beatles likes the act of browsing and shopping, and it's great that she can restrain herself from hitting that last purchase button.  One game that really helps me is that every item that I consider buying and then don't, I congratulate myself for "saving" that amount.  It's not real saving but it's money saved compared to what I might have spent!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Allie on January 13, 2017, 11:11:43 PM
I think many of us have all been conditioned and brain washed into thinking that shopping makes us happy.  Target and advertisers spend millions each year to figure out how to give us a desire to enter the store and buy products.  The three TVs are glowing with advertisements, the grocery store is set up to make you hungry for crap, packages are designed to guilt and shame you into buying the most expensive version, everything consumer we see all day long is one big mind fuck designed to make us want to fill the empty spaces we have with things.

I'm not a very good mustachian, I enjoy the role of providing for the family by procuring everything we need.  I don't work for money any longer, so it gives me a purpose and something tangible I can point to and say, "This is how I add value."  You can't do that with many of the other things I do like being active with the kids. 

But, the longer I'm on here, the easier it is to see how I'm being manipulated.  I fill a cart with stuff at Amazon or zappos and then for the next three weeks I have ads for sofas (my recent browsing) on every web page I see.  My kids want toys that go with all the shows we let them watch...and some dude sat around with a focus group to figure out exactly which TV shows will generate this desire and put them on the air.  It's never ending. 

That said, when she does break the cycle, she will either find that she is just as happy without the things (which is likely, it's probably been a while since she hasn't shopped for recreation, maybe she will feel just as happy looking at the debts go down?) or that there is something she really wants to change that doesn't involve stuff.  Go check out your money or your life from the library.  It puts a lot of this into a really nice perspective.  Between the taxes, interest you guys owe on the credit cards, and length of time it will take you to pay your debts, I'm guessing that it will take you a few hours of work to pay for all that stuff that you end up just throwing away...calendar, cups, mascara...all disposable.  That really helped me put it into perspective.  Not just how long my husband had worked to buy the stuff, but how much longer he would have to work because the money wasn't invested and growing. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 14, 2017, 04:27:38 AM
Agree with the other posters that it is a HUGE STEP for you and your wife to say out loud that you realize you spend from a psychological need.  Good job.

It will take some time before the two of you can turn off the advertisers' evil influence and re-program yourselves.  But you're on your way.

One thing we did years ago that helped us control impulse/crap spending -- Anything that cost more than $50, DH and I literally sat down and talked about it -- did the cost/benefit analysis out loud.  And then if we still wanted it -- unless it was a true emergency -- we waited a month before buying.  When we first started doing this, at least 90% of the time we realized during that cooling-off period we didn't need whatever it was, and we never bought it.  I also do the same thing with small purchases.  Unless it's an emergency need, I wait at least a week before buying it.   Could you try something like that?  A mandatory wait period before buying?  You may find that the desire disappears.  And if you slip up and make a crap purchase -- as you know -- you return it.:)

Another iron-clad way to help yourselves:  stay out of stores.  There are certain stores that are weaknesses for me.  I know exactly which ones they are, and I just stay away. I'm guessing that Target may be a danger store for your wife.  Something to think about.

Lastly -- I don't recall anyone on this thread mentioning The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo.  Very interesting book.  It's not just about de-cluttering. The author has a really cool point of view about things, and their place in our lives.  I think you might enjoy it.   

Great, great job both of you!

*PS-- of course turning off the TV also helps block the evil noise we receive from advertisers
     
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marion10 on January 14, 2017, 04:34:49 AM
Interesting- when we were first married (of course that was 34 years ago) our limit was 20. We've probably moved closer to 50- but it is very rare for us to spend more than 20 or so without consulting the other.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 14, 2017, 04:41:46 AM
Great minds think alike, Marion!  :) 

I think that having to say out loud "I'm thinking of buying ____" is a psychological game-changer.  And having that spouse there to say "Honey, remember we're in debt and trying to pay off the credit card?" or whatever.  Super valuable.  Even today when we have a big positive net worth, DH and I still do it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 14, 2017, 07:23:28 AM
Thanks for the updates Beatles!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Poundwise on January 14, 2017, 07:51:29 AM
Trifele is right: stay away from spending triggers. Also, bring a list when shopping and stick to the list.

In some ways, your wife's job is the hardest.  She's spending the day with the kids, and instead of a few big decisions that have to be made at once (buy everybody's lunch for them or stop, buy a big TV or not), she has to make a hundred small decisions in a day and change her lifestyle in a hundred small ways.

It's not easy. As a SAHM, you can't increase income. When you are anxious because of debt, it's hard to force yourself to DO NOTHING (i.e. not shop). You feel powerless. You want to go out, take some action, see something improve in your life, consume. It's hard to feel like you're working so hard to catch up or stay in one place. 

The way I get around that feeling is to make, or to cook, or to fix broken things. It took a while to realize that I had a lot of power after all.  And I have found that being a producer gives even greater satisfaction than being a consumer.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 14, 2017, 08:11:42 AM
I think some of her spending is a coping mechanism or something.

She told me that sometimes she'll go online and fill up her cart on Amazon or something, but then not complete the purchase.

She said shopping makes her feel happy.
That's a normal feeling.
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2014/04/14/how-to-make-money-buy-happiness/
Quote
The best way to get to the root of all this spending is to realize what we are all really trying to buy. In fact, it is the reason for every single action we take in our lives. It’s happiness.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 14, 2017, 08:21:02 AM
Did Mrs. Beatles like her job before the kids came along?   Does she get to talk with adults much these days?  As a teacher I got to be a SAHM during the summer, and I know that I would have gone stir-crazy if I had been a SAHM full-time.  On-line shopping and taking the kids out on a bunch of activities may be her way of dealing with the stress and isolation being a SAHM involves.  Maybe once the older is in school she could go back to work part time?  Even if you just break even financially, it gets her back in the job market, gives her a chance to brush up on her skills and basically gives her the chance to feel like an adult. Of course once she gets into being the family CEO/CFO she may feel more engaged in that role and not need an outside job - it is only January, oldest won't start school until September, so lots of time to work out what is best for her.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marion10 on January 14, 2017, 09:16:57 AM
My "cure" for shopping is the public library. I can bring home all these physical objects and it didn't cost me anything.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 14, 2017, 09:29:37 AM
My "cure" for shopping is the public library. I can bring home all these physical objects and it didn't cost me anything.
The library is definitely my cure for book shopping.  If I find myself borrowing the same book for the third time I might actually buy it.  Mrs. Beatles may also find lots of DVDs she likes at their library.  Some communities also have toy libraries - sure beats buying a new toy whenever the kids get tired of the ones they are playing with.

If either beatle gets handy, there are also tool libraries in some communities.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 14, 2017, 10:06:18 AM
You might be familiar with it already, but if your wife hasn't read "Why We Buy -  The science of Shopping" by Paco Underhill, I think it should be required reading in HS.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 14, 2017, 10:11:37 AM
I was going to recommend sitting down together for 20 minutes and watching The Story of Stuff.
http://storyofstuff.org/movies/story-of-stuff/

You don't need to aim for the 100% goal advocated for at the end of the video, but I think in the middle of it you might find some things that resonate with you and your wife.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BlueHouse on January 14, 2017, 10:25:09 AM

I think some of her spending is a coping mechanism or something.

This is really quite common.  Oftentimes it's just something to do because you're lonely.  It's very hard to uncover the fact that it's loneliness when you're busy running around all day, caring for toddlers, meeting with other people, etc.  But if the core loneliness is not addressed, then the "hole" will be filled with something else:  "stuff", shopping, food, drink, drugs. 

Let your wife read this on her own time and see if sometimes she goes shopping because she just doesn't feel like going home?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 14, 2017, 11:17:02 AM
My "cure" for shopping is the public library. I can bring home all these physical objects and it didn't cost me anything.
The library is definitely my cure for book shopping.  If I find myself borrowing the same book for the third time I might actually buy it.  Mrs. Beatles may also find lots of DVDs she likes at their library.  Some communities also have toy libraries - sure beats buying a new toy whenever the kids get tired of the ones they are playing with.

If either beatle gets handy, there are also tool libraries in some communities.

These are great suggestions.

Another cure for the buying itch that works for me -- Clean and organize what you have.  It (A) is a great use of time, (B) keeps you busy, and (C) makes you appreciate how much stuff you already have
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 14, 2017, 12:28:41 PM
If the issue is feeling isolated, maybe she could invite friends over for a "try a new recipe" cooking party. I had a friend invite me over for that once, we cooked a big Ethiopian meal she'd been wanting to try, We each contributed some ingredients, drank some coffee and hung out while cooking, and we each ended up with some new cooking knowledge and enough food for a few meals.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 14, 2017, 01:47:06 PM
Latest blog article: Essay about startups and frugality (http://stackingpennies.org/origin-of-the-best-website-startups/)

Also started a journal: Here it is (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/stacking-pennies-a-beatles-journal)


Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marty998 on January 14, 2017, 06:22:36 PM
From your blog:
Quote
Alright, what’s your startup idea Mr. Beatles?
I’m not sure I’m ready to divulge that yet.

The beta test version of the website will be available for user testing very soon. Probably in 3 weeks, or less. The first challenge may prove to be one of the most difficult. I will have to find a user base willing to give me honest and direct feedback. Traditional digital advertising, such as posting a request on Craigslist and Facebook, would likely not yield adequate results. I can imagine many people would view the website out of curiosity, but not take the time to give me their detailed opinion and user experience. Surveys are notoriously ignored.

Err, hello?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 14, 2017, 07:07:00 PM
From your blog:
Quote
Alright, what’s your startup idea Mr. Beatles?
I’m not sure I’m ready to divulge that yet.

The beta test version of the website will be available for user testing very soon. Probably in 3 weeks, or less. The first challenge may prove to be one of the most difficult. I will have to find a user base willing to give me honest and direct feedback. Traditional digital advertising, such as posting a request on Craigslist and Facebook, would likely not yield adequate results. I can imagine many people would view the website out of curiosity, but not take the time to give me their detailed opinion and user experience. Surveys are notoriously ignored.

Err, hello?

Haha good point.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 14, 2017, 09:23:52 PM
After paying some bills, we should have around $1250 by Friday.

Would you set up the 1,000 emergency fund like Dave Ramsey says?

Or start paying down credit cards?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: 1967mama on January 14, 2017, 09:47:16 PM
My vote is for the $1000 starter emergency fund a la Dave Ramsey.

Next week, you'll already be on to baby step 2!

You guys are doing great and it's so exciting to watch you pull yourselves up by the bootstraps!

Well done!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Sapphire on January 15, 2017, 03:49:38 AM
From your blog:
Quote
Alright, what’s your startup idea Mr. Beatles?
I’m not sure I’m ready to divulge that yet.

The beta test version of the website will be available for user testing very soon. Probably in 3 weeks, or less. The first challenge may prove to be one of the most difficult. I will have to find a user base willing to give me honest and direct feedback. Traditional digital advertising, such as posting a request on Craigslist and Facebook, would likely not yield adequate results. I can imagine many people would view the website out of curiosity, but not take the time to give me their detailed opinion and user experience. Surveys are notoriously ignored.

Err, hello?

Haha good point.

Coming out of lurking to laugh...;)

Mr B, you are doing a great job.  Hang in there, one day at a time.

From the point of view of someone who was a SAHM a long time ago (without internet shopping fortunately!) I did find that shopping just broke up the (sometimes) relentlessness of being at home with little kids and there was the short term buzz of a new purchase.  I also did lots of activities outside of home with the kids because it gave me an outlet to be with other adults. 

Things turned around for me when I found some other mums and we started to do play dates at our own homes.  Much less stress for me and the kids and my desire to shop did recede.

Kudos to Mrs B for making small steps.  She is on the right track.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: marty998 on January 15, 2017, 04:15:23 AM
I would reward yourself by knocking out a credit card. Suggest CC #6 + accrued interest to clear that entirely. Remainder can go towards building that EF.

Then call the bank to confirm closing the account.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 15, 2017, 07:40:58 AM
I would reward yourself by knocking out a credit card. Suggest CC #6 + accrued interest to clear that entirely. Remainder can go towards building that EF.

Then call the bank to confirm closing the account.

Sounds good.  Who needs 6 credit cards?*  Except he may want to be pickier about which accounts get closed - don't long-standing accounts help your credit rating more than just-opened ones?  OF course closing some is definitely a good idea, less available credit.

*That was a rhetorical questions, cc churners - beatles is not at churner stage right now.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 15, 2017, 07:57:30 AM
Latest blog article: Essay about startups and frugality (http://stackingpennies.org/origin-of-the-best-website-startups/)

Also started a journal: Here it is (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/stacking-pennies-a-beatles-journal)


Journal =/= blog.  What you posted both places is "blog-y".  As in, you cut and pasted your blog to your journal.

Journal - needs a purpose, most of us use it to define our goals, ponder our progress, figure out what makes us tick.  The first 2 you are doing here, so your journal might be put to better use by reflecting on your life (pre and post marriage), defining influences on you and mrs. b, how you got where you are (psychologically) and how you are addressing those issues.  Actually, you are doing a little bit of that here too.

You don't really need a journal, you have this thread and the blog, and it is just  one more thing for you to tend (be distracted by). 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 15, 2017, 08:06:50 AM
Latest blog article: Essay about startups and frugality (http://stackingpennies.org/origin-of-the-best-website-startups/)

Also started a journal: Here it is (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/stacking-pennies-a-beatles-journal)




Journal =/= blog.  What you posted both places is "blog-y".  As in, you cut and pasted your blog to your journal.

Journal - needs a purpose, most of us use it to define our goals, ponder our progress, figure out what makes us tick.  The first 2 you are doing here, so your journal might be put to better use by reflecting on your life (pre and post marriage), defining influences on you and mrs. b, how you got where you are (psychologically) and how you are addressing those issues.  Actually, you are doing a little bit of that here too.

You don't really need a journal, you have this thread and the blog, and it is just  one more thing for you to tend (be distracted by).

Or (from a different perspective), think about what you're trying to accomplish with a blog (or a journal!). The blog entries are one-sided: you impart information; others read it. A journal in the MMM format is designed to be much more interactive. So you impart information and others respond, and the vine grows. Because journals are set to members-only, many people feel free to be more personal, because they know random unregistered internet people won't happen across it. The whole point of a blog is to attract random unregistered internet people to drive clicks.

You're obviously a pretty savvy guy, so think about the goal of any of your writing: to speak to or to talk with?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 15, 2017, 09:23:27 AM
Latest blog article: Essay about startups and frugality (http://stackingpennies.org/origin-of-the-best-website-startups/)

Also started a journal: Here it is (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/stacking-pennies-a-beatles-journal)


Journal =/= blog.  What you posted both places is "blog-y".  As in, you cut and pasted your blog to your journal.

Journal - needs a purpose, most of us use it to define our goals, ponder our progress, figure out what makes us tick.  The first 2 you are doing here, so your journal might be put to better use by reflecting on your life (pre and post marriage), defining influences on you and mrs. b, how you got where you are (psychologically) and how you are addressing those issues.  Actually, you are doing a little bit of that here too.

You don't really need a journal, you have this thread and the blog, and it is just  one more thing for you to tend (be distracted by).

I agree.

Only reason I did that is because a few people told me to. Not sure why.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 15, 2017, 09:26:20 AM
I would reward yourself by knocking out a credit card. Suggest CC #6 + accrued interest to clear that entirely. Remainder can go towards building that EF.

Then call the bank to confirm closing the account.

Sounds good.  Who needs 6 credit cards?*  Except he may want to be pickier about which accounts get closed - don't long-standing accounts help your credit rating more than just-opened ones?  OF course closing some is definitely a good idea, less available credit.

*That was a rhetorical questions, cc churners - beatles is not at churner stage right now.

Yeah...

I'm not to keen on trashing my credit.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 15, 2017, 09:40:14 AM
I'm now questioning whether to just start attacking CC2.

The high balance and high interest rate is rough.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 15, 2017, 10:00:46 AM
I am clearly not following the logic of some of the ideas being tossed around in this last page.
If you still have a basic credit card that you can charge to ... you don't need an emergency fund of cash. The credit card is your emergency fund. If you have a medical crisis you'd pay for it with your card.

If you hold $1000 in cash, you are basically charging yourself 25% interest on it (since that's what you are paying on your existing debt).

Also I don't understand the logic of using your $1250 to pay off anything except the card(s) with the highest interest rate. I'd pay off CC1, highest rate - and you'd be able to knock it off the list. Then snowball that payment into CC7 next month to pay it off in Feb or March.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 15, 2017, 10:08:48 AM
I'm now questioning whether to just start attacking CC2.

The high balance and high interest rate is rough.

Here's the list of your credit cards from your first post in this thread:

CC1   194   856   25.24%
CC2   134   4495   24.49
CC3   25   505   23.24%
CC4   25   452   10.23%
CC5   20   692   18.49%
CC6   75   797   24.15
CC7    100   2020   25.24

In effect, you really have two groups of cards:  higher interest and lower interest.

HIGHER INTEREST (CC1, CC2, CC3, CC6, CC7)
Total debt = $8673
Total minimum payment = $528

LOWER INTEREST (CC4, CC5)
Total debt = $1144
Total minimum payment = $45

In addition to the minimum payments you are already making, you will have $600 from not buying work lunches. 

With these details, I'd do the following:
* STOP USING THE CARDS--you are on a cash-only diet right now, with all expenses being paid in cash or with a debit card (no, I don't care about points or miles--your goal is to get out of debt and establish good credit habits before learning credit ninja tactics like that)
* focus on the low-balance cards in the Higher Interest group

In this way, you get BOTH the psychological benefit of paying off an account in full, and the math benefit of paying down high interest debt first. (The small difference in the "higher interest" group cards isn't worth bothering with, especially when you'll be paying off the entire account in just a couple of months.)

Here's what I would do this month:
* Pay the minimum payment that you are already paying on your highest-interest card CC1 ($194) plus another $662 (get the extra $62 from grocery savings!)
      --this will completely wipe out $856 of high interest debt and give you a $0 balance on that card
* Pay the minimum payments on your other cards, as usual

In February, you will have an extra $194 that you are no longer paying to CC1.  Use this $194 and the $600 you freed up ($794) as follows:
* Pay the minimum payment that you are already paying on CC6 ($75), plus the $194 you were paying on CC1, plus an additional $528 to wipe out CC6
* Pay the minimum on your other cards, as usual

In March, you will have the $194 from CC1 plus the $75 from CC6 plus the $600 from not buying lunch ($869).  Do this:
* Use about $500 to pay off CC3
* Send the rest to CC7
* Pay the minimum on your other cards, as usual

In April, you will have $194 + $75 + $25 + $600 ($894).  Do this:
* Pay the $100 minimum on CC7, plus the $894
* This will get you awfully darn close to knocking out CC7--see if you can scrounge some money from somewhere else (grocery savings, selling stuff) to knock this one out this month

So by the end of April--in just four payment cycles--you can completely wipe out four of your seven cards.  :)

In May, your balances on CC4 and CC5 will be low enough that you can wipe them out with your $194 + $75 + $25 + $600 + $100 (from CC7, which you paid off in April).  Go ahead and knock both of these out, and send anything left to CC2.

Then in June, you can pay $194 + $75 + $25 + $600 + $100 + $25 + $20 = $1019, plus your usual minimum payment of $134 (total of $1153) to CC2.  Do it again in July.  Do it again in August.  Do it again in September.  Then in October, pay whatever's left.

Then you are DONE.

In just nine months, you can kill ALL OF THIS DEBT.  Now go do it!  :)



(edited for math, and to add that I am ignoring accrued interest and to an extent ignoring the effect of the minimum payments on the balances, just to make my post easier to tabulate)  :)

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MDM on January 15, 2017, 10:13:36 AM
I'm now questioning whether to just start attacking CC2.

The high balance and high interest rate is rough.
One could make the case that establishing a $1000 e-fund this month (e.g., at one of the best online savings accounts (http://www.magnifymoney.com/blog/earning-interest/best-online-savings-accounts275921001/) costs only $1000 * 0.25 / 12 = $21 and might be psychologically worthwhile.

One could also make the case that a 25% interest rate is emergency enough to use the $1000 against the CC debt.

Pick one or the other....
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 15, 2017, 10:20:40 AM
Latest blog article: Essay about startups and frugality (http://stackingpennies.org/origin-of-the-best-website-startups/)

Also started a journal: Here it is (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/journals/stacking-pennies-a-beatles-journal)


Journal =/= blog.  What you posted both places is "blog-y".  As in, you cut and pasted your blog to your journal.

Journal - needs a purpose, most of us use it to define our goals, ponder our progress, figure out what makes us tick.  The first 2 you are doing here, so your journal might be put to better use by reflecting on your life (pre and post marriage), defining influences on you and mrs. b, how you got where you are (psychologically) and how you are addressing those issues.  Actually, you are doing a little bit of that here too.

You don't really need a journal, you have this thread and the blog, and it is just  one more thing for you to tend (be distracted by).

I agree.

Only reason I did that is because a few people told me to. Not sure why.

Hey Beatles. I do see the value of you having a journal, it's really good for reflection and getting community feedback.

One thing I have noticed that I want to draw your attention to is you have said "Becuase x told me to"  as a reason and/or excuse for many things you have done. PanningTrips to Hawaii, declaring bankruptcy etc.

When you are getting so much feedback it is critical that you take in the information, really process it and figure out a plan of action that works best FOR YOU.

 Maybe you aren't sure but have narrowed something down to a couple of different options and you return for more feedback - that is great! Or maybe you need more information from people before you can weigh their suggestion. so dig deeper!

But you really need to go the extra step of acting from a place of "I am making this decision because of x,y,z and I feel this is the right decision for me and my family"

We can't all be right 100% of the time, but if you go through the process and can really defend to yourself and others why you are making the decision you are, going through the process will help you from making decisions that are not optimal.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: horsepoor on January 15, 2017, 10:35:31 AM
You mentioned being late on your mortgage.  Do you now have enough to pay it on time?

Prioritize that, keep maybe $500 cash until your >20% debts are gone, then consider upping your cash a bit.

Also will chime in on selling the car that has payments left.  You mentioned, IIRC, that you have a 20 mile commute and it's a large SUV?  Buy something under $5k that gets 40 mpg and save on insurance as well as gas.

Late to the party, but just read this whole thread and I'm glad you're sticking it out and turning things around!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 15, 2017, 11:08:53 AM
One thing I have noticed that I want to draw your attention to is you have said "Because x told me to"  as a reason and/or excuse for many things you have done. Planning Trips to Hawaii, declaring bankruptcy etc.

When you are getting so much feedback it is critical that you take in the information, really process it and figure out a plan of action that works best FOR YOU.

 Maybe you aren't sure but have narrowed something down to a couple of different options and you return for more feedback - that is great! Or maybe you need more information from people before you can weigh their suggestion. so dig deeper!

But you really need to go the extra step of acting from a place of "I am making this decision because of x,y,z and I feel this is the right decision for me and my family"

We can't all be right 100% of the time, but if you go through the process and can really defend to yourself and others why you are making the decision you are, going through the process will help you from making decisions that are not optimal.

Swick makes a good point.  If we tell you to do certain things, and someone else tells you to do other things, what do you do?  Listen to whoever got to you most recently?  That doesn't work.

Whether you do it here or in a journal, you and mrs. b need to sit down together, outline priorities (fun things can be in there too, just that the expensive ones go much much lower down on the list) and figure out how to reach them.  Then bounce your ideas off of us, we have all been through this and will see advantages and pitfalls.

Spreadsheets are good tools.  Put Zoot's CC analysis on one page, put your mortgage on another page, put your IRS stuff on another page, your household budget on another, until everything is there.  Then play what if with it.  What if we put this extra money here?  what happens?  Then instead, if we put the extra money there, what happens? Which outcome do we like better?  Which meets our stated priorities best?  Once your CC debt is paid off, play what if again - how much cash do we need for emergencies, versus how much credit we have available.  Which CCs should we cancel (the high interest ones basically) and which ones do we keep (the low interest ones).  We don't know which CC might be best for you to hold onto but you can look at them and decide.  But you need to develop your critical analysis mental muscles

But you have to do this your way for you, not our way for us.  Or you will get tired of all this and the wants will start taking precedence over the needs again.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 15, 2017, 04:11:27 PM
You mentioned being late on your mortgage.  Do you now have enough to pay it on time?

Prioritize that, keep maybe $500 cash until your >20% debts are gone, then consider upping your cash a bit.

Also will chime in on selling the car that has payments left.  You mentioned, IIRC, that you have a 20 mile commute and it's a large SUV?  Buy something under $5k that gets 40 mpg and save on insurance as well as gas.

Late to the party, but just read this whole thread and I'm glad you're sticking it out and turning things around!

Yes, the 1250 is what will be left after I pay the mortgage and a couple other bills.

I get my bonus on friday.

Mulling over MDM's e-fund option too.

So many options. Ugh
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 15, 2017, 04:13:42 PM
I'm now questioning whether to just start attacking CC2.

The high balance and high interest rate is rough.

Here's the list of your credit cards from your first post in this thread:

CC1   194   856   25.24%
CC2   134   4495   24.49
CC3   25   505   23.24%
CC4   25   452   10.23%
CC5   20   692   18.49%
CC6   75   797   24.15
CC7    100   2020   25.24

In effect, you really have two groups of cards:  higher interest and lower interest.

HIGHER INTEREST (CC1, CC2, CC3, CC6, CC7)
Total debt = $8673
Total minimum payment = $528

LOWER INTEREST (CC4, CC5)
Total debt = $1144
Total minimum payment = $45

In addition to the minimum payments you are already making, you will have $600 from not buying work lunches. 

With these details, I'd do the following:
* STOP USING THE CARDS--you are on a cash-only diet right now, with all expenses being paid in cash or with a debit card (no, I don't care about points or miles--your goal is to get out of debt and establish good credit habits before learning credit ninja tactics like that)
* focus on the low-balance cards in the Higher Interest group

In this way, you get BOTH the psychological benefit of paying off an account in full, and the math benefit of paying down high interest debt first. (The small difference in the "higher interest" group cards isn't worth bothering with, especially when you'll be paying off the entire account in just a couple of months.)

Here's what I would do this month:
* Pay the minimum payment that you are already paying on your highest-interest card CC1 ($194) plus another $662 (get the extra $62 from grocery savings!)
      --this will completely wipe out $856 of high interest debt and give you a $0 balance on that card
* Pay the minimum payments on your other cards, as usual

In February, you will have an extra $194 that you are no longer paying to CC1.  Use this $194 and the $600 you freed up ($794) as follows:
* Pay the minimum payment that you are already paying on CC6 ($75), plus the $194 you were paying on CC1, plus an additional $528 to wipe out CC6
* Pay the minimum on your other cards, as usual

In March, you will have the $194 from CC1 plus the $75 from CC6 plus the $600 from not buying lunch ($869).  Do this:
* Use about $500 to pay off CC3
* Send the rest to CC7
* Pay the minimum on your other cards, as usual

In April, you will have $194 + $75 + $25 + $600 ($894).  Do this:
* Pay the $100 minimum on CC7, plus the $894
* This will get you awfully darn close to knocking out CC7--see if you can scrounge some money from somewhere else (grocery savings, selling stuff) to knock this one out this month

So by the end of April--in just four payment cycles--you can completely wipe out four of your seven cards.  :)

In May, your balances on CC4 and CC5 will be low enough that you can wipe them out with your $194 + $75 + $25 + $600 + $100 (from CC7, which you paid off in April).  Go ahead and knock both of these out, and send anything left to CC2.

Then in June, you can pay $194 + $75 + $25 + $600 + $100 + $25 + $20 = $1019, plus your usual minimum payment of $134 (total of $1153) to CC2.  Do it again in July.  Do it again in August.  Do it again in September.  Then in October, pay whatever's left.

Then you are DONE.

In just nine months, you can kill ALL OF THIS DEBT.  Now go do it!  :)



(edited for math, and to add that I am ignoring accrued interest and to an extent ignoring the effect of the minimum payments on the balances, just to make my post easier to tabulate)  :)

This does sound super satisfying.

I'm still trying to shake the feeling of September being far away :/

I wonder where property taxes falls in this.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 15, 2017, 04:20:42 PM
Forgive me if this has already been addressed -- I think I read all 14 pages of this thread yesterday, but may have missed a few posts.

Have you considered trying to sign up for a 0% credit card deal and transferring some of the high interest card balances to that card?   Because those cards with high interest are really killing you.   Even if you have to pay a 3% balance transfer fee, if you can move that $4495 balance to a 0% card for a year, you will be paying $134.85 for the balance transfer, versus nearly $1123.75 in interest at that nearly 25% rate.   Granted, you are freeing up money to throw at that card by cutting your expenses and paying off the other cards, but it is the largest balance and one of the highest interest rates, so it seems like it might be worth it to pay the balance transfer fee up front and move that one down the list in your snowball.

Another thing that is not clear to me -- are you still using the credit cards to pay your monthly living expenses?  Because while it may make sense to do that if you pay off the balance every month and can benefit from the "float" as well as earning points, etc., if you are adding more to any of these cards every month you are essentially charging yourself up to 25% EXTRA on every single thing you buy because you are putting the charges on a card with a revolving balance.  NOT GOOD!!!!    If you don't have the cash to cover your monthly expenses via a debit card linked to your primary checking account, then my recommendation would be to put that $1000 you have into that account so you have a bit of a cushion.   And then save up an extra small emergency fund.   You guys need to STOP using the credit cards, because you clearly have trouble managing them, and your impulses.   Maybe knowing that the extra $50 on little bits of this and that at Target is going to mean there is not enough money in the checking account to buy milk next week will help your wife curb her urge to spend on stuff you don't really need.

Also, although it is dated I also recommend you try to find the complete Tightwad Gazette collection at the library, and have both of you read it.  Because the best thing that could happen to you guys at this stage is that you have a total switch and take all the time and energy you were spending on acquiring more stuff and throw that at becoming blackbelt frugalistas.   Amy D is the queen of frugalistas because, like MMM, she focused on the PROCESS of becoming a money saving machine.   If you can learn to adopt some of her approaches, you will become more creative problem solvers and save a ton of money at the same time.

We only use credit cards for toys right now.

Mainly the Best Buy credit card.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 15, 2017, 04:28:13 PM
Property taxes?  !!!

How much and due when?  You need to plan ahead for them.

This is why I recommended up top somewhere that you do multiple sheets in a spreadsheet.  You don't want to be doing nicely on the CCs and get blindsided by municipal taxes.

So how much and when - if you can pay them out of excess (now that you have excess) and just pay basics on the CCs one month, then fine - otherwise you need to be saving up so you are ready. If less goes to the CCs then less goes to the CCs.  You need the whole picture, not just bits and pieces.

We only see your bits and pieces, not the whole picture, so we cannot plan for you.  Only you (i.e. beatles and mrs. beatles) can do that.

Oh, and for the planning, take EVERTYHING that is not monthly, figure out yearly cost, and divide by 12 - you need to save that much every month to meet these expected but not monthly expenses - they are not unexpected, just not tidy.

PS just saw your last post We only use credit cards for toys right now.  Mainly the Best Buy credit card.  Well that means you aren't using any credit cards, because you aren't buying any toys right now, right?  Kids probably have more toys than they know what to do with, since Christmas is less than a month past.  You and mrs. don't need any more toys either.  That was easy.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyStache in Baja on January 15, 2017, 04:28:22 PM


We only use credit cards for toys right now.

Mainly the Best Buy credit card.

Why are you using present tense here?  You know your kids literally don't need any toys, right?  Literally 0.  Don't worry though, since they already have toys, your kids will have more than 0 toys, without you buying any more.  Because you're not buying any more, right?  Right?!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 15, 2017, 04:50:01 PM


We only use credit cards for toys right now.

Mainly the Best Buy credit card.

Why are you using present tense here?  You know your kids literally don't need any toys, right?  Literally 0.  Don't worry though, since they already have toys, your kids will have more than 0 toys, without you buying any more.  Because you're not buying any more, right?  Right?!

Right
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 15, 2017, 04:51:56 PM
Property taxes?  !!!

How much and due when?  You need to plan ahead for them.

This is why I recommended up top somewhere that you do multiple sheets in a spreadsheet.  You don't want to be doing nicely on the CCs and get blindsided by municipal taxes.

So how much and when - if you can pay them out of excess (now that you have excess) and just pay basics on the CCs one month, then fine - otherwise you need to be saving up so you are ready. If less goes to the CCs then less goes to the CCs.  You need the whole picture, not just bits and pieces.

We only see your bits and pieces, not the whole picture, so we cannot plan for you.  Only you (i.e. beatles and mrs. beatles) can do that.

Oh, and for the planning, take EVERTYHING that is not monthly, figure out yearly cost, and divide by 12 - you need to save that much every month to meet these expected but not monthly expenses - they are not unexpected, just not tidy.

PS just saw your last post We only use credit cards for toys right now.  Mainly the Best Buy credit card.  Well that means you aren't using any credit cards, because you aren't buying any toys right now, right?  Kids probably have more toys than they know what to do with, since Christmas is less than a month past.  You and mrs. don't need any more toys either.  That was easy.

Yes, property taxes.

We are 2 years behind and owe 9k.

We also have this years taxes which will be due in March at about 4K.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 15, 2017, 05:14:49 PM

Yes, property taxes.

We are 2 years behind and owe 9k.

We also have this years taxes which will be due in March at about 4K.

Ouch.  Ouch.  Ouch.  Where I live if you are 3 years behind on property taxes the municipality can seize the house and sell it for back taxes.  If you lived here you would be less than a year away from losing your house.  What are the rules where you live?  This and your IRS situation are a lot more hair-on-fire emergency that the CCs (not that they are good, not just as horrible).

So you need 9K in 2 months.  And for 2017, can you spread them out (most municipalities allow 2 or 3 payments over the year)?  A lot of people don't like adding taxes to their mortgage payment, but it does help the planning if you pay principal, interest and taxes every month and the bank pays your taxes out of that.  Given everything, I am surprised your bank didn't insist on that for your mortgage.

You need to talk to the people at your local municipal tax office.  Or maybe the CPA who is helping with the IRS does municipal tax problems too?

You do realize these two expensive houses have helped you dig your financial hole, right?   Was your original house (now the rental) that bad?  It is hard to enjoy life (the enjoy life means not be stressed out by being 2 years overdue on taxes) when you are house-poor.  Is your present house truly bringing you huge amounts of pleasure and joy?  Or was it bought to keep up with the Jones/what was expected at your stage of life and income?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: horsepoor on January 15, 2017, 05:19:54 PM
Dude.  Revisit what I said about the more efficient car, but now it needs to be like 2k at most. If it breaks down, you take your wife's car. 

I didn't catch the cash flow situation on the rental, but ithe sounds like mortgage is more than rent.  It might make sense at this point to sell both properties and rent if rents tend to be less than PITI on a house.  Plus, you don't have to worry about major house repairs, which you are in no position to deal with at this point.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: GetSmart on January 15, 2017, 05:24:47 PM
Quote
Rental Income, Actual Expenses, and Depreciation:  $595 NET ($1,100 rent - $130 HELOC - $375 taxes)

At this point all income from the rental should go directly to the back taxes owed.  Don't even consider this as income or let it into your hands.  Plus if you are taking 375 / month from the rent for taxes and they are due in March - do you not already have it kept aside ? 

You should probably just pay it on a monthly basis instead of quarterly - I'm sure you can arrange something with the local tax office.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 15, 2017, 05:43:53 PM

Yes, property taxes.

We are 2 years behind and owe 9k.

We also have this years taxes which will be due in March at about 4K.

Ouch.  Ouch.  Ouch.  Where I live if you are 3 years behind on property taxes the municipality can seize the house and sell it for back taxes.  If you lived here you would be less than a year away from losing your house.  What are the rules where you live?  This and your IRS situation are a lot more hair-on-fire emergency that the CCs (not that they are good, not just as horrible).

So you need 9K in 2 months.  And for 2017, can you spread them out (most municipalities allow 2 or 3 payments over the year)?  A lot of people don't like adding taxes to their mortgage payment, but it does help the planning if you pay principal, interest and taxes every month and the bank pays your taxes out of that.  Given everything, I am surprised your bank didn't insist on that for your mortgage.

You need to talk to the people at your local municipal tax office.  Or maybe the CPA who is helping with the IRS does municipal tax problems too?

You do realize these two expensive houses have helped you dig your financial hole, right?   Was your original house (now the rental) that bad?  It is hard to enjoy life (the enjoy life means not be stressed out by being 2 years overdue on taxes) when you are house-poor.  Is your present house truly bringing you huge amounts of pleasure and joy?  Or was it bought to keep up with the Jones/what was expected at your stage of life and income?

Where we live, the town sells unpaid tax liens to a 3rd party collection agency.

We asked the collection agency if they could take the house and they said yes, but probably won't because we don't owe a lot.

They said we could put 10% down and pay monthly as well.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Quidnon? on January 15, 2017, 05:45:38 PM

Where we live, the town sells unpaid tax liens to a 3rd party collection agency.

We asked the collection agency if they could take the house and they said yes, but probably won't because we don't owe a lot.

They said we could put 10% down and pay monthly as well.

Do this, yes.  This is more important than your credit cards, in my opinion, and only a bit less important than paying mortgage current.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 15, 2017, 07:06:57 PM
I was wrong.

It's 3 years, not 2.

Ugh.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 15, 2017, 07:17:32 PM
I agree with other posters that the CC's have to take a back seat to the property tax issue.  You could lose the house over this.

I think at this point it would be good to go back to the numbers you posted in your original case study and go over them with a fine tooth comb to see if there is ANYTHING you left out:  any income, any debt, anything.

The recommendations this group can make need to be based on a COMPREHENSIVE picture of your financial situation.  Had the people in this thread known about the property tax issue, the recommendations would likely have been vastly different.

As for September being a long time away, it's actually a very short time when considering how long some others have taken to climb their way out of CC debt (measured in years, not months).  In that sense you are lucky that you haven't saddled yourself with as much CC debt as some others.

But the property taxes need to come first.  As part of your get-current strategy, look in to having an escrow feature on your mortgage whereby you pay the mortgage company and they pay your property taxes for you.  Then you will not have to worry about this in the future.

But seriously:  go revise your case study to add the $9K of property tax debt, and anything, anything, anything else that's "out there."  Our recommendations may actively be harmful if we don't have the full story.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: meandmyfamily on January 15, 2017, 07:20:29 PM
Can you get a side job like now?  Maybe your wife can do daycare?  That is really scary.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 15, 2017, 07:25:12 PM
I agree with other posters that the CC's have to take a back seat to the property tax issue.  You could lose the house over this.

I think at this point it would be good to go back to the numbers you posted in your original case study and go over them with a fine tooth comb to see if there is ANYTHING you left out:  any income, any debt, anything.

The recommendations this group can make need to be based on a COMPREHENSIVE picture of your financial situation.  Had the people in this thread known about the property tax issue, the recommendations would likely have been vastly different.

As for September being a long time away, it's actually a very short time when considering how long some others have taken to climb their way out of CC debt (measured in years, not months).  In that sense you are lucky that you haven't saddled yourself with as much CC debt as some others.

But the property taxes need to come first.  As part of your get-current strategy, look in to having an escrow feature on your mortgage whereby you pay the mortgage company and they pay your property taxes for you.  Then you will not have to worry about this in the future.

But seriously:  go revise your case study to add the $9K of property tax debt, and anything, anything, anything else that's "out there."  Our recommendations may actively be harmful if we don't have the full story.

The property tax has been on the case study since the beginning.

I don't know why people are just noticing it!?!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: katscratch on January 15, 2017, 07:25:51 PM
beatles did include the delinquent property tax as well as income tax in his first post, and the case study. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 15, 2017, 07:30:36 PM
The property tax has been on the case study since the beginning.

I don't know why people are just noticing it!?!

My apologies for the oversight--I do see it's on there in the liabilities section at the bottom.

What was missing was the word delinquent and the time frame of three years.  Owing property taxes is one thing--any homeowner has a property tax bill.  Owing delinquent property taxes for three years is quite another.  Those details are important in considering the overall strategy of righting the ship.  Paying off CC's is rearranging deck chairs when you have a gaping hole in the hull.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 15, 2017, 08:02:43 PM
The property tax has been on the case study since the beginning.

I don't know why people are just noticing it!?!

My apologies for the oversight--I do see it's on there in the liabilities section at the bottom.

What was missing was the word delinquent and the time frame of three years.  Owing property taxes is one thing--any homeowner has a property tax bill.  Owing delinquent property taxes for three years is quite another.  Those details are important in considering the overall strategy of righting the ship.  Paying off CC's is rearranging deck chairs when you have a gaping hole in the hull.

I'm going to call tomorrow and see how much it'll cost to start the payment plan.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: GetSmart on January 15, 2017, 08:06:07 PM
And if that is your actual past due bill the total is $11,398 delinquent and another $3800 due in March ?

You should update your original case study numbers.  You don't seem to be in much of a panic for being $125k + in the red.

Is there some reason you can't send what's left of the rent check each month to this debt ?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 15, 2017, 08:07:56 PM
I was wrong.

It's 3 years, not 2.

Ugh.

The photo shows that your current delinquent tax amount is $11,398.06 for the rental.

The additional taxes for March will take you to $15,204.32 in tax liability for the rental. 

I'd suggest modifying the amount in the case study data to reflect these numbers.

Also, any issues with property taxes on your primary dwelling?  Are you current on those (presumably via an escrow payment on your current mortgage, whereby the lien holder pays the property tax bill for you)?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 15, 2017, 08:11:19 PM
I'm going to call tomorrow and see how much it'll cost to start the payment plan.

Excellent--you are now facing the situation head-on, and can with any luck prevent them from seizing the property.

Let us know what the monthly payment on that agreement ends up being, and what the interest is, and then we can collectively add that to the list of monthly minimum payments  with the CC's, and work out a payment strategy.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: the_fella on January 15, 2017, 08:15:22 PM
I came here thinking this had to do with The Beatles. Was disappointed. :/
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: With This Herring on January 15, 2017, 08:19:25 PM
With so many moving pieces in your finances, I think you guys need to be planning out in advance what your cash will look like every day.  If you don't already have something that works for you (like YNAB?), try this.

Linked is a spreadsheet that (I hope) will help you do that. (https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1k0oPcPWmgQmOie63A3zkIxzZAas_Ht6HTbj6zRa0mCo/edit?usp=sharing)  You can download a copy to your computer to edit or save a copy to your Google account.  You fill in the current date and your checking balance.  You fill in the average amounts of your expenses (gas, groceries, etc.) in the yellow cells in Row 5 and whether you expect to pay them regularly on a day of the week (Monday, Wednesday, etc.) or on a date each month (15, 23, 4) in the yellow cells in Row 6.  You will get a drop-down list for your selection because otherwise a typo would cause issues.  Spare columns for other regular expenses are off to the far right.  This setup should make it pretty quick to change the month days (I just put in random ones to show you how it works) for the monthly expenses and the days of the week for the weekly expenses.  Column K "Big Expenses Coming Up!" is for those odd expenses that don't get paid weekly or monthly, such as property taxes.  There is also a column for odd cash inflow amounts, such as a bonus or an income tax refund.

I have filled out what we know of your income and expenses from your case study, with a few adjustments (such as assuming that you are cutting grocery spending to $125/month, not eating restaurant food, etc.), but you can change the numbers as necessary.  I have assumed that you get paid twice a month.  If you have already cut cable, fix the cable number, etc.  I have filled in the $4K of upcoming property tax for mid-March, but please correct this to be the right date and amount.  I have filled in $5.83 for the bonus coming up on Friday, but please correct this to the actual net check you will receive.  Add in any other regular or odd cash amounts, both inflow and outflow, that you and your wife can think of, along with any planned debt payments that won't be on a regular schedule.  Again, I just put in numbers and dates/days to test that this spreadsheet was working.  Assume that they are all wrong until you have checked them yourself.

My thought was that this would just be for estimating whether you would have an okay checking balance at every date for the next year.  (I have set the minimum checking balance as $300, but you can alter that by changing the "300" in the formula of cell D7 to your dollar amount of choice.)  I think that every week or so it would make sense to come back to this sheet, go to the balance on the date you look at the sheet, change the cell color to yellow, and type in the actual balance for that date in the "predicted checking" balance column.  That way you can keep going forward and you won't need to worry about moving the big expense numbers  or changing past expenses to match what was actually spent (for when you spend less than the amount you budgeted on groceries, for example  :)   ).

To add more rows at the bottom, copy the last row, highlight 365 or so more rows below it, and paste.  If you have questions about how the formulae work, just ask.

You won't be able to choose any date later than 28 for regular payments.  Why?  Because this is a quick-and-dirty spreadsheet, and right now months like February would just end up with no payments for anything given a date like that.  So, I have just added a "Later" option.  Any payment/income given this option will pop up on the last date of the month.

Disclosure:  This is a quick-and-dirty planning tool.  The results are only as good as your input.  It probably has errors.  Please make sure the results make sense.  I am not liable for your reliance on this spreadsheet.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 15, 2017, 08:51:22 PM
And if that is your actual past due bill the total is $11,398 delinquent and another $3800 due in March ?

You should update your original case study numbers.  You don't seem to be in much of a panic for being $125k + in the red.

Is there some reason you can't send what's left of the rent check each month to this debt ?

Mainly because we've been using it all for Bills and expenses.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 16, 2017, 01:42:00 AM
Finding out what you need for a payment plan on the rental taxes is the next step, so good on you for getting to that.

For a journal on this site you could ask the mods to move this thread over to the journal section - it would give you a bit more privacy, as only registered forum members will be seeing it, and it makes more sense to have the whole of your story so far as the start of the journal.  You can then just put a link to your blog in your signature.

I am in awe of your ability to keep coming back and taking the face punches - not many people stick it out here the way you have.  It's a good sign that you are going to work your way out of your problems.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 16, 2017, 05:02:39 AM
I'm still trying to shake the feeling of September being far away :/

I'll be revising my payment plan advice once I see the details about your property tax repayment structure, but just wanted to add a suggestion.

Use the frustration about date of ending your debt being "far away" to spur you to reduce your spending further.

See something you want to buy?  Utter the word "September" and walk away.  :)

In that way, you have more money at the end of the month to throw at the debt, and "September" could become "August" or "July" or whatever it ends up being.

In the words of Dave Ramsey, get "gazelle intense":  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3S1oHz99ZcU




Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ShoulderThingThatGoesUp on January 16, 2017, 05:58:09 AM
Get on a payment plan, then sell the rental. The balance will be paid off at closing and you'll be out from under that.

But on no payment plan -well, in my county your property would have been put up for sale already.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 16, 2017, 08:08:32 AM
I was wrong.

It's 3 years, not 2.

Ugh.
In my jurisdiction, they sell a tax lien, and the purchaser can foreclose on the property in 12 months if it is not paid in full with a high interest rate.  In other words, they auction off your house on the courthouse steps.  You need to do some research on the effect that this tax sale has had on your property.

http://www.bankrate.com/finance/real-estate/buying-a-home-in-a-tax-lien-sale-1.aspx




The lender normally will pay the tax to keep this from happening, because they can sell it right out from under the mortgage.  Then the lender comes back to you and escrows the money, making you pay higher payments to pay off the existing tax debt and the expected taxes owed for the next year, plus a cushion.  Banks love doing this because they make their money on investing the surplus from these escrow accounts.

I have no clue why this has not happened in your situation.

You do not pay PITI (I thought you said you did?).  The TI in PITI stands for taxes and insurance, and the bank adjusts the amount to collect all expected debts.

I do not pay TI, just PI, but the bank will add on TI in a heartbeat to protect its interests if I failed to pay the taxes even once.  Why has this not happened?

Something is off in your story here.  What are we missing?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: GetSmart on January 16, 2017, 09:00:26 AM
Quote
Mainly because we've been using it all for Bills and expenses.

Um...nope.  You used it for toys and over-priced junk food:

Quote
GROCERIES   1100   
EATING OUT   600   
CAMERAS   25
CC7 (STORE CARDS)   100   2020   25.24
Furniture Loan   276   1950   25.00

The taxes are a bill and #1 priority - unless you really want to lose the whole thing to foreclosure.

Put all the income from the rental toward the taxes on the rental and the HELOC.

Pay your bills first and then if there's anything left.... buy some real food - but not before you eat everything that's already in the house :)

Quote
I do not pay TI, just PI, but the bank will add on TI in a heartbeat to protect its interests if I failed to pay the taxes even once.  Why has this not happened?

Something is off in your story here.  What are we missing?

Malum Prohibitum - I think you are confusing the two houses.  The rental has no mortgage; therefore the taxes and insurance are the responsibility of the owner.  The house they are living in has a mortgage.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 16, 2017, 09:04:14 AM
In this situation, in order to get the taxes paid and the debt under the OP's control, would a HELOC against the rental property for $15K be an option?

That would take care of the delinquent taxes, and pay the March bill, at some kind of (I hope) reasonable interest rate.

Not sure a HELOC could be issued with the credit and DTI ratios in this situation, but wanted to bring it up.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: GetSmart on January 16, 2017, 09:27:16 AM
In this situation, in order to get the taxes paid and the debt under the OP's control, would a HELOC against the rental property for $15K be an option?

OP already has a HELOC against this property for 25k.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 16, 2017, 09:36:23 AM
Dang it, I missed that detail.  :)  Gonna have to go read the case study again very closely.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 16, 2017, 09:38:32 AM
If the delinquent taxes are for the rental, then it is not really an income-generating property.  Then there is no reason to keep it, it should be sold and whatever equity is in it recovered for debt payments (like the back taxes on it and the IRS, OMG).

I am looking back at the original post and there was this:
Rental Income, Actual Expenses, and Depreciation:  $595 NET ($1,100 rent - $130 HELOC - $375 taxes)
I think this is why we got confused about taxes, the taxes were showing and we assumed that $375/month ($4500/year seems to be enough to pay them) was being set aside or going right way to pay the taxes.  It also has a HELOC on it already so unless it still has room ($25,000 now, this would mean it needs a limit of $40,000) they can't use the HELOC for the back taxes and then pay the HELOC off.

Alternately the newer house (house #3?) seems to be expensive, a pile of new furniture, etc., so maybe the new house should be sold and the family moves back to the original house?  We don't really know how the family finances were before houses #2 and 3, maybe the beatles were doing OK while they were in the rental house?  We also have no idea why they thought it would be a good idea to move from the rental (their home) to house #2 that ended up being too expensive, or why they moved to house #3 when #2 was too expensive, instead of moving back to house #1.

Beatles, get to it!  You have lots of work to do!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: notactiveanymore on January 16, 2017, 09:42:49 AM
Get on a payment plan, then sell the rental. The balance will be paid off at closing and you'll be out from under that.

But on no payment plan -well, in my county your property would have been put up for sale already.

Saying it again, possibly for my third time: Sell the car! Sell the car! Sell the car!

I also continue to believe you should sell the rental with a closing credit for the roof. In your online postings you can put that at the top of the info (CLOSING CREDIT FOR NEW ROOF) and that should mitigate any loss of potential buyers who are not willing to look at a house because of a roof. You cannot afford to buy a new roof for that house with the amount of debt you have and the paycheck to paycheck nature of your current life. Sure you may miss out on a potential of 5-10k in additional profit from the sale if it already had a new roof, but the value of eliminating your property tax and IRS delinquent bills would be worth it to me. Until then you are suffocating. You can barely decide which debt to tackle because so many of them are on fire.

The other solution is to sell your current house and move back to the rental. You want it sooner then September, make it happen!

ETA: Your wife is making a lot of difficult changes and improvements right now. Imagine how much it would mean to her that you are willing to sacrifice and prove your seriousness as well by selling your fancy car and buying a decent 4-5k vehicle in order to pay off the property taxes.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 16, 2017, 10:44:51 AM
I went and read your second blog post.  This was interesting: I will have to find a user base willing to give me honest and direct feedback.  I started to wonder if that was us here on the Forums, you have already experienced the direct feedback part.  Then I read this: What I can tell you is that the website streamlines the way consumers shop for a particular high priced item. and that is certainly not someone people here would be interested in.

So why in the world are you spending time/energy on this start-up idea when you have so much else on your plate?  If it is a good idea it will still be good in October.

Priorities.  Priorities. Geesh. It's like you are weeding one dandelion out of your lawn while the giant hogweed looms. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 12:56:28 PM
I went and read your second blog post.  This was interesting: I will have to find a user base willing to give me honest and direct feedback.  I started to wonder if that was us here on the Forums, you have already experienced the direct feedback part.  Then I read this: What I can tell you is that the website streamlines the way consumers shop for a particular high priced item. and that is certainly not someone people here would be interested in.

So why in the world are you spending time/energy on this start-up idea when you have so much else on your plate?  If it is a good idea it will still be good in October.

Priorities.  Priorities. Geesh. It's like you are weeding one dandelion out of your lawn while the giant hogweed looms.

Mainly because it's a project I started before I ever learned about frugality.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 12:59:09 PM
I was wrong.

It's 3 years, not 2.

Ugh.
In my jurisdiction, they sell a tax lien, and the purchaser can foreclose on the property in 12 months if it is not paid in full with a high interest rate.  In other words, they auction off your house on the courthouse steps.  You need to do some research on the effect that this tax sale has had on your property.

http://www.bankrate.com/finance/real-estate/buying-a-home-in-a-tax-lien-sale-1.aspx




The lender normally will pay the tax to keep this from happening, because they can sell it right out from under the mortgage.  Then the lender comes back to you and escrows the money, making you pay higher payments to pay off the existing tax debt and the expected taxes owed for the next year, plus a cushion.  Banks love doing this because they make their money on investing the surplus from these escrow accounts.

I have no clue why this has not happened in your situation.

You do not pay PITI (I thought you said you did?).  The TI in PITI stands for taxes and insurance, and the bank adjusts the amount to collect all expected debts.

I do not pay TI, just PI, but the bank will add on TI in a heartbeat to protect its interests if I failed to pay the taxes even once.  Why has this not happened?

Something is off in your story here.  What are we missing?

It's different where we are.

Our taxes are sold to a 3rd party collector, who if i'm not mistaken, is owned by the County.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 16, 2017, 01:07:17 PM
I went and read your second blog post.  This was interesting: I will have to find a user base willing to give me honest and direct feedback.  I started to wonder if that was us here on the Forums, you have already experienced the direct feedback part.  Then I read this: What I can tell you is that the website streamlines the way consumers shop for a particular high priced item. and that is certainly not someone people here would be interested in.

So why in the world are you spending time/energy on this start-up idea when you have so much else on your plate?  If it is a good idea it will still be good in October.

Priorities.  Priorities. Geesh. It's like you are weeding one dandelion out of your lawn while the giant hogweed looms.

Mainly because it's a project I started before I ever learned about frugality.

You may have started it before frugality, but why are you posting about it now?  Looking at your present (dire) financial situation, it should be last on your time/energy scale*.  So why post?  Why even have a blog if that is what it is going to be about?  Get back to it when you have your financial situation taken care of.

*Time energy scale:
1a do everything you can to take care of IRS, municipal taxes and CCs
1b Do everything you can to support mrs b while she does her side of things.
.
.
sell rental house or sell present house and move back into rental
.
.
72z the blog and project
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ShoulderThingThatGoesUp on January 16, 2017, 01:11:39 PM
What county do you live in? This can be researched on a county's website usually.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 01:48:21 PM
I went and read your second blog post.  This was interesting: I will have to find a user base willing to give me honest and direct feedback.  I started to wonder if that was us here on the Forums, you have already experienced the direct feedback part.  Then I read this: What I can tell you is that the website streamlines the way consumers shop for a particular high priced item. and that is certainly not someone people here would be interested in.

So why in the world are you spending time/energy on this start-up idea when you have so much else on your plate?  If it is a good idea it will still be good in October.

Priorities.  Priorities. Geesh. It's like you are weeding one dandelion out of your lawn while the giant hogweed looms.

Mainly because it's a project I started before I ever learned about frugality.

You may have started it before frugality, but why are you posting about it now?  Looking at your present (dire) financial situation, it should be last on your time/energy scale*.  So why post?  Why even have a blog if that is what it is going to be about?  Get back to it when you have your financial situation taken care of.

*Time energy scale:
1a do everything you can to take care of IRS, municipal taxes and CCs
1b Do everything you can to support mrs b while she does her side of things.
.
.
sell rental house or sell present house and move back into rental
.
.
72z the blog and project

Because writing is my outlet.

Before the blog I would write and save it in word documents on my computer.

It takes 20 minutes.

I'm not sitting here spending hours of my time that I would otherwise be spending paying off debt.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 16, 2017, 02:07:35 PM

You may have started it before frugality, but why are you posting about it now?  Looking at your present (dire) financial situation, it should be last on your time/energy scale*.  So why post?  Why even have a blog if that is what it is going to be about?  Get back to it when you have your financial situation taken care of.

*Time energy scale:
1a do everything you can to take care of IRS, municipal taxes and CCs
1b Do everything you can to support mrs b while she does her side of things.
.
.
sell rental house or sell present house and move back into rental
.
.
72z the blog and project

Because writing is my outlet.

Before the blog I would write and save it in word documents on my computer.

It takes 20 minutes.

I'm not sitting here spending hours of my time that I would otherwise be spending paying off debt.

It's not the paying off debt that takes all the time, it is the figuring out how you got in this mess and how you will get out of it that takes time.  Your parents bailed you out before, but that was obviously a band-aid solution.  So if you want to spend 20 minutes a day writing, then spend it writing about your life, your growing up and how that affected your attitudes to money and debt, how you ended up moving out of house 1 to house 2 to house 3, etc.  Use it for self-reflection.  You don't need to show ti to anyone, except maybe mrs. b.

And you missed my point, anyway - you can write on a blog or wherever, but why are  you taking about a project or startup or side hustle or whatever - that is what is distracting you.

Use that project energy to do your detailed spreadsheet with projections.   You even got handed one. You don't seem to have a good grip yet on your total financial picture.  Or at least that is the impression you are giving us, we get dribs and drabs.

Hey its Monday - little things, what happened at work for lunch today?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 02:13:12 PM
What county do you live in? This can be researched on a county's website usually.

The rental is technically in Monroe County, NY
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 02:54:23 PM

You may have started it before frugality, but why are you posting about it now?  Looking at your present (dire) financial situation, it should be last on your time/energy scale*.  So why post?  Why even have a blog if that is what it is going to be about?  Get back to it when you have your financial situation taken care of.

*Time energy scale:
1a do everything you can to take care of IRS, municipal taxes and CCs
1b Do everything you can to support mrs b while she does her side of things.
.
.
sell rental house or sell present house and move back into rental
.
.
72z the blog and project

Because writing is my outlet.

Before the blog I would write and save it in word documents on my computer.

It takes 20 minutes.

I'm not sitting here spending hours of my time that I would otherwise be spending paying off debt.

It's not the paying off debt that takes all the time, it is the figuring out how you got in this mess and how you will get out of it that takes time.  Your parents bailed you out before, but that was obviously a band-aid solution.  So if you want to spend 20 minutes a day writing, then spend it writing about your life, your growing up and how that affected your attitudes to money and debt, how you ended up moving out of house 1 to house 2 to house 3, etc.  Use it for self-reflection.  You don't need to show ti to anyone, except maybe mrs. b.

And you missed my point, anyway - you can write on a blog or wherever, but why are  you taking about a project or startup or side hustle or whatever - that is what is distracting you.

Use that project energy to do your detailed spreadsheet with projections.   You even got handed one. You don't seem to have a good grip yet on your total financial picture.  Or at least that is the impression you are giving us, we get dribs and drabs.

Hey its Monday - little things, what happened at work for lunch today?

Been eating bag lunches.

Random stuff out of the pantry.

This is too much right now.

People dont always want to be thinking about their finances. Blogging about my startup is a way to relax for a bit.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Poundwise on January 16, 2017, 03:05:01 PM
I don't think it's so bad to be working on a little side gig, if it relaxes you.  But I would agree with recent posters that selling off some troublesome possessions is the way to go. Get rid of the stressful rental and big car loan.  Simplify. They add nothing but worry to your life, let them go.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: mustachepungoeshere on January 16, 2017, 03:06:38 PM
People dont always want to be thinking about their finances.

People on here do.

For most of us, it is instinctive, automatic, and welcome, rather than being a chore.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 16, 2017, 03:10:08 PM
People dont always want to be thinking about their finances.

We're scared for you. You're dealing with some major debts here, and are majorly delinquent on them. You won't have the privilege to *not* think about your finances all the time if you lose your home. We just want to help you avoid that. I think Retired@63 is seeing you being fairly unconcerned about the property tax thing ("that's not how it works in my county"), and is worried about anything that will pull your attention away.

It's not to say you have to be staring at a spreadsheet every minute of every day. But fundamentally, you don't have an income problem, you have a spending problem, so it's easy as a 'spectator' to see you looking at side hustles and get worried.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 03:30:19 PM
People dont always want to be thinking about their finances.

We're scared for you. You're dealing with some major debts here, and are majorly delinquent on them. You won't have the privilege to *not* think about your finances all the time if you lose your home. We just want to help you avoid that. I think Retired@63 is seeing you being fairly unconcerned about the property tax thing ("that's not how it works in my county"), and is worried about anything that will pull your attention away.

It's not to say you have to be staring at a spreadsheet every minute of every day. But fundamentally, you don't have an income problem, you have a spending problem, so it's easy as a 'spectator' to see you looking at side hustles and get worried.

He literally wants me to not write on a blog because its not about my finances.

Seriously?

That's ridiculous.

I'm well aware of the tax situation.

But I cant think about it every minute of every day.

I even tried calling today but theyre closed for MLK day.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 03:39:54 PM
I don't think it's so bad to be working on a little side gig, if it relaxes you.  But I would agree with recent posters that selling off some troublesome possessions is the way to go. Get rid of the stressful rental and big car loan.  Simplify. They add nothing but worry to your life, let them go.

I wish I could make the rental go bye bye right now.

$35k to $40k in cash sounds sooooo good right now.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Bracken_Joy on January 16, 2017, 03:41:41 PM
People dont always want to be thinking about their finances.

We're scared for you. You're dealing with some major debts here, and are majorly delinquent on them. You won't have the privilege to *not* think about your finances all the time if you lose your home. We just want to help you avoid that. I think Retired@63 is seeing you being fairly unconcerned about the property tax thing ("that's not how it works in my county"), and is worried about anything that will pull your attention away.

It's not to say you have to be staring at a spreadsheet every minute of every day. But fundamentally, you don't have an income problem, you have a spending problem, so it's easy as a 'spectator' to see you looking at side hustles and get worried.

He literally wants me to not write on a blog because its not about my finances.

Seriously?

That's ridiculous.

I'm well aware of the tax situation.

But I cant think about it every minute of every day.

I even tried calling today but theyre closed for MLK day.

People here are going to push you, and push you hard. You are welcome to do with the advice as you please- clearly even other posters on here disagree with each other. I'm just explaining *why* people are pushing you so very much. But, as many people keep coming back to- it's down to you and your wife what you are going to do. You'll get many view points on here- there isn't any one perfect way to do this. Weigh the options, and if they don't work for you, then that's fine. =) The important thing is just to look at people's rationale and see if it rings true for you. Learning and exploring and all that jazz.

You *are* making progress, so the biggest thing is to keep rolling with that momentum. Good job on trying to make the call. And, as always, for coming back here to face punches and opinions galore.

(Also, as a more meta thank you: your case study here has resulted in SO many good resources and feed back all in one place. I think your honesty and vulnerability here has led to a really incredible central resource, that I think will be of value to many people. So that should be an extra bright spot in all this- in addition to improving your own financial situation, you have led to the creation of something that can help other people, too. Even people like me who have been around here for a while- I have pushed myself WAY harder this month on my groceries than ever before, and have made a price book finally. So seriously- thank you).
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ketchup on January 16, 2017, 04:02:43 PM
Just caught up on this whale of a thread!

1. Beatles, good on you for reaching out for help, taking the face-punches, sticking with it, and taking action!  You can do this.

2. I definitely agree with the recent posts.  Figure out your property tax situation ASAP!  That has to be priority one.  You don't want that to blow up.  Your last post mentioned calling today but they were closed.  Definitely call them tomorrow and get the ball rolling.

3. IRS debt.  Sounds like you're on your way with that one.  After you get the property tax situation evaluated and have a plan to take care of that, tackle the IRS debt.

4. No more work lunches.  Way to go!

5. Grocery spending.  Sounds like you've made a real 180 there, keep that up!  It's a marathon, not a sprint.  And healthy food does more than help your wallet.

6. Replacement bedroom TV.  Good on you for cancelling that order.  Either look into fixing that TV in lieu of replacing it, or just get it out of there.  I don't think anyone should have a TV in their bedroom.  Your brain should associate that room with only two things, and one of them is sleep.  Both will improve when other activities (even "good" stuff like reading in bed!) cease to happen in the bedroom.  You certainly sound like you have a big enough house for that.

7. Advertising.  You mentioned that you heard a radio ad for a remote starter, which is what opened that can of worms.  If you hadn't heard the ad, would you have been thinking about a remote starter that day?  Probably not.  In addition to solving any perceived use of a remote starter as others have said (by clearing all the extra shit out of your garage so you can park there), you should address the root: advertising. 

Don't listen to the radio in the car.  Listen to CDs.  Listen to music off your phone.  Listen to audiobooks.  Listen to podcasts. 

Same for TV.  Cut the cable, cut the commercials.  Watch what you want to watch if you really want to watch it, but watch it without ads on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, DVDs from the library, etc.  Hell, download them off bittorrent; you're in serious debt.  Steer away from TV shows that have "upper-middle-class" (really upper-class) people featured in a way that normalizes luxury.  Watch things removed from consumerism.  Mad Men, Game of Thrones, Mythbusters, whatever. 

Throw away junk mail as soon as you get it.  You don't need anything in there.

8. Cars.  You haven't been too specific about your vehicles.  You said you have a large SUV.  Does your wife also have a large SUV?  You keep saying you don't want to go down to one car, but what about downsizing one of them?  That would still free up some cash.  Small car + big car is a good combination for someone in your situation.  That way you keep the utility of the big car for hauling kids around or whatever, but you can use a smaller one for all the solo driving you do (20 miles one way to work).
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 16, 2017, 04:58:56 PM
I don't think it's so bad to be working on a little side gig, if it relaxes you.  But I would agree with recent posters that selling off some troublesome possessions is the way to go. Get rid of the stressful rental and big car loan.  Simplify. They add nothing but worry to your life, let them go.

I wish I could make the rental go bye bye right now.

$35k to $40k in cash sounds sooooo good right now.
Isn't it on the market yet?  If not, why not?

You can make the rental go bye bye and get the $35k to $40k in cash.  You start with one simple step: calling a real estate agent and asking them to put a (real and electronic) "for sale" sign up.  Easy.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Poundwise on January 16, 2017, 05:09:31 PM
If Redfin is in your area, why not give them a shot for selling your rental? I highly recommend them... saved $7K as a buyer.
You can get started tonight, don't have to wait for the morning.

https://www.redfin.com/
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 05:18:07 PM
If Redfin is in your area, why not give them a shot for selling your rental? I highly recommend them... saved $7K as a buyer.
You can get started tonight, don't have to wait for the morning.

https://www.redfin.com/

What should I say
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 16, 2017, 05:33:28 PM
If Redfin is in your area, why not give them a shot for selling your rental? I highly recommend them... saved $7K as a buyer.
You can get started tonight, don't have to wait for the morning.

https://www.redfin.com/

What should I say
Tell them the property is on the market at a realistic price, that the whole amount owed will be paid from the sale proceeds and in the meantime you wish to set up a payment plan (first payment that day) until the sale is finalised.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 05:42:07 PM
If Redfin is in your area, why not give them a shot for selling your rental? I highly recommend them... saved $7K as a buyer.
You can get started tonight, don't have to wait for the morning.

https://www.redfin.com/

What should I say
Tell them the property is on the market at a realistic price, that the whole amount owed will be paid from the sale proceeds and in the meantime you wish to set up a payment plan (first payment that day) until the sale is finalised.

I feel pretty bad for the renters too.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: GetSmart on January 16, 2017, 05:49:59 PM
Have you asked the renters if they'd be interested in buying it yet ?

And if it's an outside buyer - perhaps they would allow the tenants to stay on.

Don't let these excuses hold you up.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Poundwise on January 16, 2017, 05:53:31 PM
Sorry, I don't have experience selling a rental; maybe post in the real estate forum?

Some places to start:
https://www.trulia.com/blog/how-to-sell-a-tenant-occupied-property/
https://www.landlordology.com/tenants-rights-selling-a-rental-property/
http://www.zillow.com/blog/sell-a-house-with-tenants-145436/
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Unique User on January 16, 2017, 06:36:24 PM
For the rental - I own two and if I was going to buy another, I would buy one that needed work.  Additionally, as much as DH and I say we want to buy a house that is move in ready - we never do it, we always gravitate toward the house that needs work so we can put in sweat equity.   I would find another realtor, ask around or just email a bunch to find one that specializes in investment property. 

You are getting a lot of great advice (I've only read a bit), but agree completely on the property taxes and IRS, you really need to get those on payment plans.   

I really posted in order to offer advice to your wife.  When we realized we needed to turn things around, grocery bills and restaurants were one of the first things we cut.  For restaurants, it was really hard to cut them out altogether.  I started signing up for mystery shops which helped with our new zero budget.  The trick was to stay within the reimbursement so I didn't spend anything extra.  For groceries, we only bought what was on sale.  If chicken was on sale, we ate chicken, if pork was, we ate pork.  Same with vegetables, whatever was on sale, in season or on the markdown rack.  For convenience foods, I only bought the items that were super cheap after coupons, like 50 cents cheap, free was even better.  Most of it is crap yes, but because the amount I was willing to spend was so little, we ended up with very few convenience foods.  I also used coupons for shampoos, soaps, etc - our budget was almost non-existent for those items so I bought whatever brand was cheap/free after coupons.  Lastly, I had never had a veggie garden before, but I tried growing tomatoes one year because we loved tomatoes.  Total overload and by the time we moved four years later we had a 20X10 garden.  My daughter (1st grade to 5th grade those years) and her friends would go into the garden to snack on snow peas, blueberries and cherry tomatoes.  They all wanted to help weed as long as they could snack also.  Not sure if you have an area to garden, but even herbs are helpful.  I started treating it like a game and at the lowest, we were spending $275 a month on groceries.  I still do much of the same except garden, I don't think I could ever go back to my old habits. Good luck to you and your wife. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 07:52:15 PM
Doing the math on the rental.

$500 * 12 months * 6 years = $36,000
$650 * 12 months * 24 years = $187,200
.................................TOTAL = $223,200

I'm having a hard time thinking about giving away $223k for momentary gain.

We would be netting maybe $35k if we sold.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MDM on January 16, 2017, 07:58:27 PM
Doing the math on the rental.

$500 * 12 months * 6 years = $36,000
$650 * 12 months * 24 years = $187,200
.................................TOTAL = $223,200

I'm having a hard time thinking about giving away $223k for momentary gain.

We would be netting maybe $35k if we sold.

It would take "only" ~6.4%/yr to turn $35K into $223K in 30 years.

You would "earn" 25%/yr while you pay down those CC debts....

Yes, you could invest the $500 or $650 also, but....
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 08:00:44 PM
Doing the math on the rental.

$500 * 12 months * 6 years = $36,000
$650 * 12 months * 24 years = $187,200
.................................TOTAL = $223,200

I'm having a hard time thinking about giving away $223k for momentary gain.

We would be netting maybe $35k if we sold.

It would take "only" ~6.4%/yr to turn $35K into $223K in 30 years.

You would "earn" 25%/yr while you pay down those CC debts....

Yes, you could invest the $500 or $650 also, but....

Hmm.

Didn't think about it that way...
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: researcher1 on January 16, 2017, 08:23:01 PM
Because writing is my outlet.
Before the blog I would write and save it in word documents on my computer.
It takes 20 minutes.
I'm not sitting here spending hours of my time that I would otherwise be spending paying off debt.

People dont always want to be thinking about their finances. Blogging about my startup is a way to relax for a bit.

Writing the blog post might take 20 minutes, but the time/effort you are currently putting into this "startup" is significant.  This is from your blog...

"I plan to make leaps of progress in the next few weeks. I’ve outlined a few of the next steps and assigned generous timetables.
1.  Finish the MVP (prototype). A couple of weeks of coding should do it.
2.  Conduct advanced testing and debugging of the software and system.
3.  Find people to use the website and give me feedback."


You say you plan to "make leaps of progress in the next few weeks" on this side venture.
Instead, why don't you use this time to begin recovering from your financial train wreck???

I can't comprehend why you are prioritizing this side venture over dealing with your very dire financial situation.
Title: The beatles Case Study
Post by: TheStachery on January 16, 2017, 08:24:42 PM
I'll say it again, your extra time is better spent delivering pizzas or driving for Uber.  You need more income in your spare time, even if it temporary.  While driving, listen to podcasts about getting out of debt.   When you're broke you need to get to work. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Captain FIRE on January 16, 2017, 08:27:28 PM
Holy shit, why are you not freaked out by the property tax and IRS issue?!?  You get this are serious problems, yes?  This is a BFD.  Are you trying to be zen-like on here about it, or are you ostriching, or do you genuinely not get why we think this is a huge problem? 

If I might lose my house to foreclosure, I'd be freaked out.  And you've got two kids!  As it is, I'm even freaked enough on your behalf to wander down the Alice in Wonderland rabbit hole and wonder if you maybe should accept your parent help to bail you out one last time on the IRS/taxes (except that I think that you need to learn to fix these financial issues on your own rather than always going to the Bank of Mom and Dad, and if you do this, you may never learn to be an adult and stand on your own two feet).

Can your wife put the kids in daycare and get a job? 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 08:39:42 PM
Because writing is my outlet.
Before the blog I would write and save it in word documents on my computer.
It takes 20 minutes.
I'm not sitting here spending hours of my time that I would otherwise be spending paying off debt.

People dont always want to be thinking about their finances. Blogging about my startup is a way to relax for a bit.

Writing the blog post might take 20 minutes, but the time/effort you are currently putting into this "startup" is significant.  This is from your blog...

"I plan to make leaps of progress in the next few weeks. I’ve outlined a few of the next steps and assigned generous timetables.
1.  Finish the MVP (prototype). A couple of weeks of coding should do it.
2.  Conduct advanced testing and debugging of the software and system.
3.  Find people to use the website and give me feedback."


You say you plan to "make leaps of progress in the next few weeks" on this side venture.
Instead, why don't you use this time to begin recovering from your financial train wreck???

I can't comprehend why you are prioritizing this side venture over dealing with your very dire financial situation.

You act like paying off debt takes study time.

What would you like me to do with the 5 hours per week I spend on my side venture?

Call each credit card company and have a chat?

Call the town and re-verify that my payment plan is set up ever day?

Call the IRS and see if we're still on track every 3 days?

Let's pretend I stop my side venture - What do you think I'm going to be doing in that time?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 08:40:45 PM
I'll say it again, your extra time is better spent delivering pizzas or driving for Uber.  You need more income in your spare time, even if it temporary.  While driving, listen to podcasts about getting out of debt.   When you're broke you need to get to work. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'd love to.

I wish Uber was in my area.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 08:42:19 PM
Holy shit, why are you not freaked out by the property tax and IRS issue?!?  You get this are serious problems, yes?  This is a BFD.  Are you trying to be zen-like on here about it, or are you ostriching, or do you genuinely not get why we think this is a huge problem? 

If I might lose my house to foreclosure, I'd be freaked out.  And you've got two kids!  As it is, I'm even freaked enough on your behalf to wander down the Alice in Wonderland rabbit hole and wonder if you maybe should accept your parent help to bail you out one last time on the IRS/taxes (except that I think that you need to learn to fix these financial issues on your own rather than always going to the Bank of Mom and Dad, and if you do this, you may never learn to be an adult and stand on your own two feet).

Can your wife put the kids in daycare and get a job?

I am freaked out kinda. But what do you want me to do? Post in all caps?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: TheStachery on January 16, 2017, 08:44:36 PM
I'll say it again, your extra time is better spent delivering pizzas or driving for Uber.  You need more income in your spare time, even if it temporary.  While driving, listen to podcasts about getting out of debt.   When you're broke you need to get to work. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'd love to.

I wish Uber was in my area.
Deliver pizzas.  You can make $1000 month doing that.  What about Lyft.  I live in the middle of nowhere and we have Uber and lyft here. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: researcher1 on January 16, 2017, 08:51:09 PM
Doing the math on the rental.
$500 * 12 months * 6 years = $36,000
$650 * 12 months * 24 years = $187,200
TOTAL = $223,200
I'm having a hard time thinking about giving away $223k for momentary gain.
We would be netting maybe $35k if we sold.

After reading all of your posts, it is very obvious that your head is in the clouds when it comes to dealing with this financial disaster.
It is clear you still don't get it, even after HUNDREDS of posts offering very good advice & education. 

Here are a few of the things that have transpired just in the past few days...
- Bought a TV
- Told us "we only use credit cards for toys right now."
- You are delinquent on your property taxes for the last three years.
- Explained your wife shops as a "coping mechanism" to "make her feel happy."
- Have an irrational attachment to this rental property and an unwillingness to put it on the market.
- Meanwhile, you're spending significant amounts of time on a "startup" dream that assists in buying "high end" products.

Dude, wake up!!!

I won't get into specifics, but you need to do the following immediately...
- Put the startup on the back burner
- Sell the rental ASAP
- Continue cutting spending
- Get marital counseling
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: TheStachery on January 16, 2017, 09:02:08 PM
Doing the math on the rental.

$500 * 12 months * 6 years = $36,000
$650 * 12 months * 24 years = $187,200
.................................TOTAL = $223,200

I'm having a hard time thinking about giving away $223k for momentary gain.

We would be netting maybe $35k if we sold.
The problem is you're bad at math.  If you were any good at it you wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: researcher1 on January 16, 2017, 09:21:17 PM
Writing the blog post might take 20 minutes, but the time/effort you are currently putting into this "startup" is significant.  This is from your blog...
"I plan to make leaps of progress in the next few weeks. I’ve outlined a few of the next steps and assigned generous timetables.
1.  Finish the MVP (prototype). A couple of weeks of coding should do it.
2.  Conduct advanced testing and debugging of the software and system.
3.  Find people to use the website and give me feedback."


You say you plan to "make leaps of progress in the next few weeks" on this side venture.
Instead, why don't you use this time to begin recovering from your financial train wreck???
I can't comprehend why you are prioritizing this side venture over dealing with your very dire financial situation.

You act like paying off debt takes study time.
What would you like me to do with the 5 hours per week I spend on my side venture?
Call each credit card company and have a chat?
Call the town and re-verify that my payment plan is set up ever day?
Call the IRS and see if we're still on track every 3 days?
Let's pretend I stop my side venture - What do you think I'm going to be doing in that time?

For Christ's sake, do you really need this spelled out for you? 

Here are just a few examples of how you should be spending your spare time...
- Read as many books about debt/personal finance/budgeting you can get your hands on
- Create financial/budgeting spreadsheets/databases and analyze data
- Spend time reviewing & making actual changes to your budget
- Have conversations with your wife about the source of her unhappiness
- Spend time learning to cook and meal planning (to avoid eating out)

At the very least, you should use that 5 hours/week reading the stack of books you should have checked out from the library.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 09:30:51 PM
I'll say it again, your extra time is better spent delivering pizzas or driving for Uber.  You need more income in your spare time, even if it temporary.  While driving, listen to podcasts about getting out of debt.   When you're broke you need to get to work. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'd love to.

I wish Uber was in my area.
Deliver pizzas.  You can make $1000 month doing that.  What about Lyft.  I live in the middle of nowhere and we have Uber and lyft here. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

We don't have Uber or Lyft.

I would love to have either. I think it would be fun.

Pizza's are not an option.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 09:33:26 PM
Doing the math on the rental.
$500 * 12 months * 6 years = $36,000
$650 * 12 months * 24 years = $187,200
TOTAL = $223,200
I'm having a hard time thinking about giving away $223k for momentary gain.
We would be netting maybe $35k if we sold.

After reading all of your posts, it is very obvious that your head is in the clouds when it comes to dealing with this financial disaster.
It is clear you still don't get it, even after HUNDREDS of posts offering very good advice & education. 

Here are a few of the things that have transpired just in the past few days...
- Bought a TV
- Told us "we only use credit cards for toys right now."
- You are delinquent on your property taxes for the last three years.
- Explained your wife shops as a "coping mechanism" to "make her feel happy."
- Have an irrational attachment to this rental property and an unwillingness to put it on the market.
- Meanwhile, you're spending significant amounts of time on a "startup" dream that assists in buying "high end" products.

Dude, wake up!!!

I won't get into specifics, but you need to do the following immediately...
- Put the startup on the back burner
- Sell the rental ASAP
- Continue cutting spending
- Get marital counseling

Half (or more) of this post is just wrong.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 09:36:37 PM
Doing the math on the rental.

$500 * 12 months * 6 years = $36,000
$650 * 12 months * 24 years = $187,200
.................................TOTAL = $223,200

I'm having a hard time thinking about giving away $223k for momentary gain.

We would be netting maybe $35k if we sold.
The problem is you're bad at math.  If you were any good at it you wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Right, because math skills is why we spend too much, and there has never been a consumeristic mathematician.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: sonjak on January 16, 2017, 09:37:19 PM
I get the impression from your posts that you are only "kinda freaked out" because the parents can always bail you out.  And besides, foreclosures and repossessions and getting kicked out on the street with your kids in their pajamas doesn't happen to (people like) you. 

(People like) you also don't have garage sales to sell expensive toys, buy secondhand, deliver pizzas or seriously budget. 

(People like) you get takeout and eat in nice restaurants.

(People like) you buy based on brand labels.

(People like) you have an online side business that you can brag about and cars that show just how successful you are. 

(People like) you have a rental because you "own real estate."

(People like) you are broke and won't face it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 16, 2017, 09:38:09 PM
Writing the blog post might take 20 minutes, but the time/effort you are currently putting into this "startup" is significant.  This is from your blog...
"I plan to make leaps of progress in the next few weeks. I’ve outlined a few of the next steps and assigned generous timetables.
1.  Finish the MVP (prototype). A couple of weeks of coding should do it.
2.  Conduct advanced testing and debugging of the software and system.
3.  Find people to use the website and give me feedback."


You say you plan to "make leaps of progress in the next few weeks" on this side venture.
Instead, why don't you use this time to begin recovering from your financial train wreck???
I can't comprehend why you are prioritizing this side venture over dealing with your very dire financial situation.

You act like paying off debt takes study time.
What would you like me to do with the 5 hours per week I spend on my side venture?
Call each credit card company and have a chat?
Call the town and re-verify that my payment plan is set up ever day?
Call the IRS and see if we're still on track every 3 days?
Let's pretend I stop my side venture - What do you think I'm going to be doing in that time?

For Christ's sake, do you really need this spelled out for you? 

Here are just a few examples of how you should be spending your spare time...
- Read as many books about debt/personal finance/budgeting you can get your hands on
- Create financial/budgeting spreadsheets/databases and analyze data
- Spend time reviewing & making actual changes to your budget
- Have conversations with your wife about the source of her unhappiness
- Spend time learning to cook and meal planning (to avoid eating out)

At the very least, you should use that 5 hours/week reading the stack of books you should have checked out from the library.

Alright did all of that.

Next?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: researcher1 on January 16, 2017, 09:43:32 PM
You act like paying off debt takes study time.

I had to follow-up on this quote, as it proves my point that your head is in the clouds about the situation at hand.

Paying off debt is actually a very small part of the problem you are facing!  You have far greater issues that you should also be addressing, like learning how to set up & live on a budget and why your wife uses shopping as a coping mechanism.

I find it interesting that you mention this about Paul Graham in your blog...
"He is brilliant, brilliant. Transcending higher education status quo, brilliant. And because of this, or perhaps forced by this, I read his blog and study his advice as if they are the last written words of wisdom on earth."

So you are willing to study this guy's words for your side venture, BUT you don't think your financial situation requires study time???
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: researcher1 on January 16, 2017, 09:48:17 PM
Half (or more) of this post is just wrong.

Why don't you go point by point and let us know what is wrong?  All of the points I made were pulled directly from your posts.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Allie on January 16, 2017, 10:01:24 PM
Doing the math on the rental.

$500 * 12 months * 6 years = $36,000
$650 * 12 months * 24 years = $187,200
.................................TOTAL = $223,200

I'm having a hard time thinking about giving away $223k for momentary gain.

We would be netting maybe $35k if we sold.
The problem is you're bad at math.  If you were any good at it you wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

^for real.  You need to expand your knowledge of investments, opportunity costs, and such.  The above is such an over simplification of your rental situation.  Are you accounting for the new roof?  How about the 2 new water heaters, new furnaces, new paint, new carpet, new driveway, other new roof, tenant damage, vacancies, new bathrooms, new kitchen appliances.  All of these things have a usable life that will expire at least once in the next 30 years.  Did you look into the possible investments you could make with that money?  Even if you were to save up and put 20% down on a multi family property, you could come out way ahead depending on your market. 

If only someone had written a blog post about selling stuff you wouldn't buy right now...hmmm.

Oh, yeah. 

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2015/07/02/if-you-wouldnt-buy-it-you-should-probably-sell-it/

It's a good read, if someone hasn't linked it before. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: horsepoor on January 17, 2017, 03:47:13 AM
Writing the blog post might take 20 minutes, but the time/effort you are currently putting into this "startup" is significant.  This is from your blog...
"I plan to make leaps of progress in the next few weeks. I’ve outlined a few of the next steps and assigned generous timetables.
1.  Finish the MVP (prototype). A couple of weeks of coding should do it.
2.  Conduct advanced testing and debugging of the software and system.
3.  Find people to use the website and give me feedback."


You say you plan to "make leaps of progress in the next few weeks" on this side venture.
Instead, why don't you use this time to begin recovering from your financial train wreck???
I can't comprehend why you are prioritizing this side venture over dealing with your very dire financial situation.

You act like paying off debt takes study time.
What would you like me to do with the 5 hours per week I spend on my side venture?
Call each credit card company and have a chat?
Call the town and re-verify that my payment plan is set up ever day?
Call the IRS and see if we're still on track every 3 days?
Let's pretend I stop my side venture - What do you think I'm going to be doing in that time?

For Christ's sake, do you really need this spelled out for you? 

Here are just a few examples of how you should be spending your spare time...
- Read as many books about debt/personal finance/budgeting you can get your hands on
- Create financial/budgeting spreadsheets/databases and analyze data
- Spend time reviewing & making actual changes to your budget
- Have conversations with your wife about the source of her unhappiness
- Spend time learning to cook and meal planning (to avoid eating out)

At the very least, you should use that 5 hours/week reading the stack of books you should have checked out from the library.

Alright did all of that.

Next?

Go list all of that stuff cluttering your garage, 2 of your three couches, and your 90" tv on Craigslist.  Sell any small trinkets worth more than $5 on eBay.

Learn how to find and stack grocery coupons.

Figure out something other than Uber or pizza delivery to put cash in uour hands in the present tense.

Go read the What Small Thing Did You Do Today to Save Money?  Thread for literally thousands of ideas on trimming your expenses
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 04:28:33 AM
You act like paying off debt takes study time.

Actually, it does.  Look at the time the people on this thread have spent researching laws in your county, running numbers, noodling on plans.  If you add it up, it's likely hundreds of hours.

Take the time to write Craigslist posts and sell your stuff.  Take the time to work with a realtor.  Take the time to research quotes on replacing the roof on your rental if that's the path you're going to take.  The stuff about the side venture will just clutter up your head and distract you from your main focus, which is escaping the cheetah that is about to turn you and your family into gazelle burgers.

Call each credit card company and have a chat?

Yes, actually, you SHOULD do this.  Ask them to lower your interest rate, and see if they'll budge.  Sometimes they will.  Sometimes they may have offers.  Sometimes a card on which you have a little room may be able to accept a balance transfer from one with a higher interest rate.  Play the game--you need every win you can get, however small.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Unique User on January 17, 2017, 06:20:11 AM
I'll say it again, your extra time is better spent delivering pizzas or driving for Uber.  You need more income in your spare time, even if it temporary.  While driving, listen to podcasts about getting out of debt.   When you're broke you need to get to work. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I'd love to.

I wish Uber was in my area.
Deliver pizzas.  You can make $1000 month doing that.  What about Lyft.  I live in the middle of nowhere and we have Uber and lyft here. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

We don't have Uber or Lyft.

I would love to have either. I think it would be fun.

Pizza's are not an option.

Then find another option.  When we were just starting to get out of our mess I worked ten hours a week retail at night or on weekends on top of working a regular job, it sucked and it wasn't a lot of money, but it helped.  There are a lot of side hustles, many of them not something to brag about.  I mystery shop, totally boring and housewifey.  But who cares, last year I made a decent amount of cash for small amount of time I put into it and thousands in reimbursements for things like restaurants, grocery stores, pizza deliveries and oil changes.  My search option is not working, but search side hustle threads for ideas. 

You and your wife also need to spend your time learning how to cook, meal plan and shop only what is on sale.  You are only 30, learning those skills will pay off FOR YEARS. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: lemanfan on January 17, 2017, 06:28:11 AM
You and your wife also need to spend your time learning how to cook, meal plan and shop only what is on sale.  You are only 30, learning those skills will pay off FOR YEARS DECADES.

And you set a good example for the kids.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 17, 2017, 06:36:14 AM
Because writing is my outlet.
Before the blog I would write and save it in word documents on my computer.
It takes 20 minutes.
I'm not sitting here spending hours of my time that I would otherwise be spending paying off debt.

People dont always want to be thinking about their finances. Blogging about my startup is a way to relax for a bit.

Writing the blog post might take 20 minutes, but the time/effort you are currently putting into this "startup" is significant.  This is from your blog...

"I plan to make leaps of progress in the next few weeks. I’ve outlined a few of the next steps and assigned generous timetables.
1.  Finish the MVP (prototype). A couple of weeks of coding should do it.
2.  Conduct advanced testing and debugging of the software and system.
3.  Find people to use the website and give me feedback."


You say you plan to "make leaps of progress in the next few weeks" on this side venture.
Instead, why don't you use this time to begin recovering from your financial train wreck???

I can't comprehend why you are prioritizing this side venture over dealing with your very dire financial situation.

You act like paying off debt takes study time.

What would you like me to do with the 5 hours per week I spend on my side venture?

Call each credit card company and have a chat?

Call the town and re-verify that my payment plan is set up ever day?

Call the IRS and see if we're still on track every 3 days?

Let's pretend I stop my side venture - What do you think I'm going to be doing in that time?

Unless you have accomplished each and every item on this list, every minute you have spent on anything other than bringing in more money NOW or reducing debt has been wasted.  Not to mention selling the rental - what contractors have you called about the rood?  What lenders have you called about financing the roof?  What other real estate agents have you met with to get a second opinion on the value/salability with and without the roof repair?  Have you written an ad yet for a FSBO website?

You are getting a strongly negative reaction here because you are giving people the impression that you are just looking for excuses NOT to make significant changes.  Personally, I think you should sell the new house (which you can't afford and which has basically zero equity), and move back into the rental, which you can actually afford.  But you sure can't afford two -- your failure to pay the taxes and maintain the rental demonstrates that.  Whatever the long-term value of that property may be, it is $0 when you lose it in a tax sale.

If you're going to focus on the future profit, you also have to look at the opportunity cost.  You have more wants/needs than you have dollars right now, which means that every dollar you spend on the property is another dollar you cannot send to your CC companies.   You are basically leveraging yourself by borrowing from your CCs to pay your property expenses.  So if you want to make this all about the math, compare your anticipated return over 30 years from that rental to the 30-year cost of borrowing your carrying costs (including the costs you are not paying now, like the taxes and maintenance) at 25%. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: OurTown on January 17, 2017, 07:03:49 AM
My God, this is interesting.  This should be a book, or maybe a mini-series.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 07:26:10 AM
I get the impression from your posts that you are only "kinda freaked out" because the parents can always bail you out.  And besides, foreclosures and repossessions and getting kicked out on the street with your kids in their pajamas doesn't happen to (people like) you. 

(People like) you also don't have garage sales to sell expensive toys, buy secondhand, deliver pizzas or seriously budget. 

(People like) you get takeout and eat in nice restaurants.

(People like) you buy based on brand labels.

(People like) you have an online side business that you can brag about and cars that show just how successful you are. 

(People like) you have a rental because you "own real estate."

(People like) you are broke and won't face it.

Nearly this entire post ignores the fact that "people like us" have drastically changed and are no longer doing much of what you said.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 07:27:29 AM
You act like paying off debt takes study time.

Actually, it does.  Look at the time the people on this thread have spent researching laws in your county, running numbers, noodling on plans.  If you add it up, it's likely hundreds of hours.

Take the time to write Craigslist posts and sell your stuff.  Take the time to work with a realtor.  Take the time to research quotes on replacing the roof on your rental if that's the path you're going to take.  The stuff about the side venture will just clutter up your head and distract you from your main focus, which is escaping the cheetah that is about to turn you and your family into gazelle burgers.

Call each credit card company and have a chat?

Yes, actually, you SHOULD do this.  Ask them to lower your interest rate, and see if they'll budge.  Sometimes they will.  Sometimes they may have offers.  Sometimes a card on which you have a little room may be able to accept a balance transfer from one with a higher interest rate.  Play the game--you need every win you can get, however small.

Everything you've mentioned, we've already done.

Would you like me to do it a 2nd and 3rd time for fun sake?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ChipmunkSavings on January 17, 2017, 07:35:22 AM
So you have asked each of your 7 credit card companies if they would agree to lower the fees? What did they say?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 07:36:22 AM
You act like paying off debt takes study time.

Actually, it does.  Look at the time the people on this thread have spent researching laws in your county, running numbers, noodling on plans.  If you add it up, it's likely hundreds of hours.

Take the time to write Craigslist posts and sell your stuff.  Take the time to work with a realtor.  Take the time to research quotes on replacing the roof on your rental if that's the path you're going to take.  The stuff about the side venture will just clutter up your head and distract you from your main focus, which is escaping the cheetah that is about to turn you and your family into gazelle burgers.

Call each credit card company and have a chat?

Yes, actually, you SHOULD do this.  Ask them to lower your interest rate, and see if they'll budge.  Sometimes they will.  Sometimes they may have offers.  Sometimes a card on which you have a little room may be able to accept a balance transfer from one with a higher interest rate.  Play the game--you need every win you can get, however small.

Everything you've mentioned, we've already done.

Would you like me to do it a 2nd and 3rd time for fun sake?
  Really?  How much did you net from selling stuff on Craigslist?  How much are the roofing bids?

Additional:

Have you put together a budget with your wife?  If so, then post it up.

Getting a spending plan is step one.  You have to know where the money is going.

Have you instituted tracking of your spending?  If so what are you doing to track it?  Is your wife tracking, too?

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 07:39:09 AM
Malum Prohibitum - I think you are confusing the two houses.  The rental has no mortgage; therefore the taxes and insurance are the responsibility of the owner.  The house they are living in has a mortgage.
  If that were the case, then the solution is easy.  Sell the big house and live in the rental house.  Even with a 25k HELOC and 9k in taxes owed, that is still probably the best solution.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 07:39:21 AM
Doing the math on the rental.

$500 * 12 months * 6 years = $36,000
$650 * 12 months * 24 years = $187,200
.................................TOTAL = $223,200

I'm having a hard time thinking about giving away $223k for momentary gain.

We would be netting maybe $35k if we sold.
The problem is you're bad at math.  If you were any good at it you wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

^for real.  You need to expand your knowledge of investments, opportunity costs, and such.  The above is such an over simplification of your rental situation.  Are you accounting for the new roof?  How about the 2 new water heaters, new furnaces, new paint, new carpet, new driveway, other new roof, tenant damage, vacancies, new bathrooms, new kitchen appliances.  All of these things have a usable life that will expire at least once in the next 30 years.  Did you look into the possible investments you could make with that money?  Even if you were to save up and put 20% down on a multi family property, you could come out way ahead depending on your market. 

If only someone had written a blog post about selling stuff you wouldn't buy right now...hmmm.

Oh, yeah. 

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2015/07/02/if-you-wouldnt-buy-it-you-should-probably-sell-it/

It's a good read, if someone hasn't linked it before.

Do you think I'm a moron? That's an open question to everyone, as that's the vibe I'm getting.

I have two degrees. One, oddly enough as the jokes create themselves, is in finance. The other degree (graduate degree) is the field of work I am in so I don't want to say it. But suffice it to say, I'm not an idiot.

We lived in that house, and as such, everything is new.

We tore the house down to its studs.

It has brand new dry wall (2012). Brand new subfloors (2012). Brand new carpets (2013). Brand new tile (2013). Brand new bathroom (2013). Brand new 30 yr rated furnace (2014). Brand new hot water heater (2015). Brand new driveway (2013). Brand new recessed lighting and ceilings (2012). Brand new ceiled concrete floor in the basement (2012). Brand new flex tube water pipes (2012). Brand new vents (2012). Brand new concrete patio in the backyard (2012). Brand new siding (2013). Brand new stove and refrigerator - both stainless steel (2014).

The only thing that isn't new is the roof and that's because we ran out of money.

I didn't over simplify anything. The fact is that nothing is going to need to be replaced, other than the roof, for a very long time.

As far as opportunity cost. How are we going to make any investments with that money??

The money we get from the sale would pay off our debt. Not go toward an investment.

And the very most the debt could extrapolate to, even at 25% interest, is a sum many times less than the nearly 250k we would be given up.

If you have a difference of opinion, fine. But don't ever insult my intelligence.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 07:43:11 AM
Doing the math on the rental.

$500 * 12 months * 6 years = $36,000
$650 * 12 months * 24 years = $187,200
.................................TOTAL = $223,200

I'm having a hard time thinking about giving away $223k for momentary gain.

We would be netting maybe $35k if we sold.

I was wondering why the rental wasn't on the market yet after having all weekend to get it listed.  You simply don't want to SELL it - I think because you are scared as shit to lose the $500 you are stealing from it right now every month.

What you fail to account for in your math is that you AREN'T making $500 per month on the rental.  You owe $16K in property taxes (almost 3 years at $500 a month to pay that off) and it needs a new roof (who knows how many years at $500 per month that is) and what about  it sits for 3 months empty when you are trying to find a renter? 

It would be one thing if you were putting that $500 a month into an investment account, the roof was in good repair, and the back taxes were not owed - then you would have a fund to pay for issues and non rental months and maybe it would be an ongoing investment.  YOU ARE NOT THERE.  GET THE RENTAL ON THE MARKET BY THE END OF THE DAY. You have already spent the money that is in the "equity" in this house. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 07:44:52 AM
Where we live, the town sells unpaid tax liens to a 3rd party collection agency.

We asked the collection agency if they could take the house and they said yes, but probably won't because we don't owe a lot.

They said we could put 10% down and pay monthly as well.

I am going to let you in on a little secret.

Here is how these companies make money.  There are two options.  (A) the owner redeems the property, in which case the company gets a really good interest rate on the money it used to pay the taxes, or (B) the company gets the property.

I personally know persons who have built millions in net worth mainly by getting the property.  They look at getting their money back with interest as a downside to this business.  Their goal is always to buy tax liens that are small in relation to the value of the property and thus grow their net worth very quickly.

There is just a teeny-tiny chance* that the person to whom you spoke on the phone has a vested interest in encouraging you not to freak out and redeem your property.









*By teeny-tiny chance, I mean that there is absolutely no incentive for them to want you to redeem your property.  They are really out to obtain properties.  So, the teeny-tiny here is something close to 100%.  I was being facetious.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 07:46:07 AM
Malum Prohibitum - I think you are confusing the two houses.  The rental has no mortgage; therefore the taxes and insurance are the responsibility of the owner.  The house they are living in has a mortgage.
  If that were the case, then the solution is easy.  Sell the big house and live in the rental house.  Even with a 25k HELOC and 9k in taxes owed, that is still probably the best solution.

This was actually our original thought, but after speaking to a realtor and breaking down the numbers, we would be losing money on the sale and we literally dont have the money to make up the difference.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 07:50:19 AM
Do you think I'm a moron?

I have two degrees. One, oddly enough as the jokes create themselves, is in finance. The other degree (graduate degree) is the field of work I am in so I don't want to say it. But suffice it to say, I'm not an idiot.

According to Thomas Stanley, the profession that most grossly UNDERaccumulates wealth in relation to income is . . . drum roll please . . . doctors.


Do you think doctors are morons?  Are they idiots?  After all, they have degrees!


There is no relationship to your IQ and your net worth today. 

The only thing that matters is your savings rate.  This is the percentage of your net income that you do not spend.  Do you even know what yours is?  Your college degrees will not tell you what it is.  Your IQ will not, either.  My grandparents did not graduate high school, but they had huge savings rates.  Yours probably did, too.

I am guessing it is this pride at your degrees and intelligence that is standing in the way of your financial success.  Learn to listen to some people who may have been where you are but turned it around.  They may have degrees, too.  They may not.  But learn what you can from those who have succeeded in having high savings rates.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 07:50:32 AM
Where we live, the town sells unpaid tax liens to a 3rd party collection agency.

We asked the collection agency if they could take the house and they said yes, but probably won't because we don't owe a lot.

They said we could put 10% down and pay monthly as well.

I am going to let you in on a little secret.

Here is how these companies make money.  There are two options.  (A) the owner redeems the property, in which case the company gets a really good interest rate on the money it used to pay the taxes, or (B) the company gets the property.

I personally know persons who have built millions in net worth mainly by getting the property.  They look at getting their money back with interest as a downside to this business.  Their goal is always to buy tax liens that are small in relation to the value of the property and thus grow their net worth very quickly.

There is just a teeny-tiny chance* that the person to whom you spoke on the phone has a vested interest in encouraging you not to freak out and redeem your property.









*By teeny-tiny chance, I mean that there is absolutely no incentive for them to want you to redeem your property.  They are really out to obtain properties.  So, the teeny-tiny here is something close to 100%.  I was being facetious.

Fair point.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 07:52:23 AM
You act like paying off debt takes study time.

I had to follow-up on this quote, as it proves my point that your head is in the clouds about the situation at hand.

Paying off debt is actually a very small part of the problem you are facing!  You have far greater issues that you should also be addressing, like learning how to set up & live on a budget and why your wife uses shopping as a coping mechanism.

I find it interesting that you mention this about Paul Graham in your blog...
"He is brilliant, brilliant. Transcending higher education status quo, brilliant. And because of this, or perhaps forced by this, I read his blog and study his advice as if they are the last written words of wisdom on earth."

So you are willing to study this guy's words for your side venture, BUT you don't think your financial situation requires study time???

We already did.

Budget set up on Mint and everything.

Next?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 07:53:30 AM
Doing the math on the rental.

$500 * 12 months * 6 years = $36,000
$650 * 12 months * 24 years = $187,200
.................................TOTAL = $223,200

I'm having a hard time thinking about giving away $223k for momentary gain.

We would be netting maybe $35k if we sold.
The problem is you're bad at math.  If you were any good at it you wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

^for real.  You need to expand your knowledge of investments, opportunity costs, and such.  The above is such an over simplification of your rental situation.  Are you accounting for the new roof?  How about the 2 new water heaters, new furnaces, new paint, new carpet, new driveway, other new roof, tenant damage, vacancies, new bathrooms, new kitchen appliances.  All of these things have a usable life that will expire at least once in the next 30 years.  Did you look into the possible investments you could make with that money?  Even if you were to save up and put 20% down on a multi family property, you could come out way ahead depending on your market. 

If only someone had written a blog post about selling stuff you wouldn't buy right now...hmmm.

Oh, yeah. 

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2015/07/02/if-you-wouldnt-buy-it-you-should-probably-sell-it/

It's a good read, if someone hasn't linked it before.

Do you think I'm a moron? That's an open question to everyone, as that's the vibe I'm getting.

I have two degrees. One, oddly enough as the jokes create themselves, is in finance. The other degree (graduate degree) is the field of work I am in so I don't want to say it. But suffice it to say, I'm not an idiot.

We lived in that house, and as such, everything is new.

We tore the house down to its studs.

It has brand new dry wall (2012). Brand new subfloors (2012). Brand new carpets (2013). Brand new tile (2013). Brand new bathroom (2013). Brand new 30 yr rated furnace (2014). Brand new hot water heater (2015). Brand new driveway (2013). Brand new recessed lighting and ceilings (2012). Brand new ceiled concrete floor in the basement (2012). Brand new concrete patio in the backyard (2012). Brand new siding (2013). Brand new stove and refrigerator - both stainless steel (2014).

The only thing that isn't new is the roof and that's because we ran out of money.

I didn't over simplify anything. The fact is that nothing is going to need to be replaced, other than the roof, for a very long time.

As far as opportunity cost. How are we going to make any investments with that money??

The money we get from the sale would pay off our debt. Not go toward an investment.

And the very most the debt could extrapolate to, even at 25% interest, is a sum many times less than the nearly 250k we would be given up.

If you have a difference of opinion, fine. But don't ever insult my intelligence.

But then explain how you are "giving" away $223K?  Include in that formula paying off the HELOC, roof, and property tax.  Then you'll have our attention.  That is what people here are telling you.  Do a believable formula where you really end up putting $500 or $600 in an investment account after the house is free and clear of debt of all kinds and the roof is put on.  BTW - I imagine that part of your credit card debt is because of all of the NEW STUFF in the rental house - right?  You still owe the money for all of that new.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ChipmunkSavings on January 17, 2017, 07:54:39 AM
Doing the math on the rental.

$500 * 12 months * 6 years = $36,000
$650 * 12 months * 24 years = $187,200
.................................TOTAL = $223,200

I'm having a hard time thinking about giving away $223k for momentary gain.

We would be netting maybe $35k if we sold.
The problem is you're bad at math.  If you were any good at it you wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

^for real.  You need to expand your knowledge of investments, opportunity costs, and such.  The above is such an over simplification of your rental situation.  Are you accounting for the new roof?  How about the 2 new water heaters, new furnaces, new paint, new carpet, new driveway, other new roof, tenant damage, vacancies, new bathrooms, new kitchen appliances.  All of these things have a usable life that will expire at least once in the next 30 years.  Did you look into the possible investments you could make with that money?  Even if you were to save up and put 20% down on a multi family property, you could come out way ahead depending on your market. 

If only someone had written a blog post about selling stuff you wouldn't buy right now...hmmm.

Oh, yeah. 

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2015/07/02/if-you-wouldnt-buy-it-you-should-probably-sell-it/

It's a good read, if someone hasn't linked it before.

Do you think I'm a moron?

I have two degrees. One, oddly enough as the jokes create themselves, is in finance. The other degree (graduate degree) is the field of work I am in so I don't want to say it. But suffice it to say, I'm not an idiot.

We lived in that house, and as such, everything is new.

We tore the house down to its studs.

It has brand new dry wall (2012). Brand new subfloors (2012). Brand new carpets (2013). Brand new tile (2013). Brand new bathroom (2013). Brand new 30 yr rated furnace (2014). Brand new hot water heater (2015). Brand new driveway (2013). Brand new recessed lighting and ceilings (2012). Brand new ceiled concrete floor in the basement (2012). Brand new concrete patio in the backyard (2012). Brand new siding (2013). Brand new stove and refrigerator - both stainless steel (2014).

The only thing that isn't new is the roof and that's because we ran out of money.

I didn't over simplify anything. The fact is that nothing is going to need to be replaced, other than the roof, for a very long time.

As far as opportunity cost. How are we going to make any investments with that money??

The money we get from the sale would pay off our debt. Not go toward an investment.

And the very most the debt could extrapolate to, even at 25% interest, is a sum many times less than the nearly 250k we would be given up.

If you have a difference of opinion, fine. But don't ever insult my intelligence.


I am no house/rental expert, but there might be other types of maintenance fees, such as :
- Changing the Windows (did that this year, pretty expensive)
- What if the water heater breaks? Those things are only good for 10 years right?
- Plumbing issues : a drain came loose with our dishwasher, and we found out because the bathroom wall in the basement was getting damp.
- Are you at risk of flooding? Would you have to pay a deductible on it?
- Vacancy is always a risk as well, apparently you should estimate 10% vacancy in calculations

In your first post, you note that the rental brings in 1100$ per month
You then posted that the expenses were 130$ for the HELOC and 375$ for taxes, bringing it to a net of 595$.
Do you have any insurance on the property?
I think there should be at least some maintenance calculated into this as well. I suppose the renters are paying electricity, trash and all those expenses?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 07:55:06 AM
You act like paying off debt takes study time.

I had to follow-up on this quote, as it proves my point that your head is in the clouds about the situation at hand.

Paying off debt is actually a very small part of the problem you are facing!  You have far greater issues that you should also be addressing, like learning how to set up & live on a budget and why your wife uses shopping as a coping mechanism.

I find it interesting that you mention this about Paul Graham in your blog...
"He is brilliant, brilliant. Transcending higher education status quo, brilliant. And because of this, or perhaps forced by this, I read his blog and study his advice as if they are the last written words of wisdom on earth."

So you are willing to study this guy's words for your side venture, BUT you don't think your financial situation requires study time???

We already did.

Budget set up on Mint and everything.

Next?

Next?

Let us see it.  You are anonymous here.  Nobody really knows who you are.

Is mint going to be able to track all of your spending?  It did not for us due to cash purchases, which is why my wife and I write down each and every purchase on a piece of paper.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 07:55:17 AM
You act like paying off debt takes study time.

Actually, it does.  Look at the time the people on this thread have spent researching laws in your county, running numbers, noodling on plans.  If you add it up, it's likely hundreds of hours.

Take the time to write Craigslist posts and sell your stuff.  Take the time to work with a realtor.  Take the time to research quotes on replacing the roof on your rental if that's the path you're going to take.  The stuff about the side venture will just clutter up your head and distract you from your main focus, which is escaping the cheetah that is about to turn you and your family into gazelle burgers.

Call each credit card company and have a chat?

Yes, actually, you SHOULD do this.  Ask them to lower your interest rate, and see if they'll budge.  Sometimes they will.  Sometimes they may have offers.  Sometimes a card on which you have a little room may be able to accept a balance transfer from one with a higher interest rate.  Play the game--you need every win you can get, however small.

Everything you've mentioned, we've already done.

Would you like me to do it a 2nd and 3rd time for fun sake?
  Really?  How much did you net from selling stuff on Craigslist?  How much are the roofing bids?

Additional:

Have you put together a budget with your wife?  If so, then post it up.

Getting a spending plan is step one.  You have to know where the money is going.

Have you instituted tracking of your spending?  If so what are you doing to track it?  Is your wife tracking, too?

Yes, tracking and budget are both on Mint. DONE.

Roofing quote was $4,000.

Does Mr Money Mustache himself ever post on these forums?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Moustachienne on January 17, 2017, 07:56:32 AM
I think most people on these forums treat optimizing their family finances, especially when there's debt, like a startup, that is, with all in intensity and focus. Beatles may be doing that but we can't tell from his posts which are one off questions and partial answers. It would be great if he could take the time to post a comprehensive picture of where his family is at but it might not be his thing.  In which case, we're left with an apparent clash of world views.

One word to Beatles: putting a laser focus of time, energy, and attention on your "family business" can be as exciting as any product startup and very,very rewarding.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 07:58:15 AM
Doing the math on the rental.

$500 * 12 months * 6 years = $36,000
$650 * 12 months * 24 years = $187,200
.................................TOTAL = $223,200

I'm having a hard time thinking about giving away $223k for momentary gain.

We would be netting maybe $35k if we sold.
The problem is you're bad at math.  If you were any good at it you wouldn't be in this mess in the first place. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

^for real.  You need to expand your knowledge of investments, opportunity costs, and such.  The above is such an over simplification of your rental situation.  Are you accounting for the new roof?  How about the 2 new water heaters, new furnaces, new paint, new carpet, new driveway, other new roof, tenant damage, vacancies, new bathrooms, new kitchen appliances.  All of these things have a usable life that will expire at least once in the next 30 years.  Did you look into the possible investments you could make with that money?  Even if you were to save up and put 20% down on a multi family property, you could come out way ahead depending on your market. 

If only someone had written a blog post about selling stuff you wouldn't buy right now...hmmm.

Oh, yeah. 

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2015/07/02/if-you-wouldnt-buy-it-you-should-probably-sell-it/

It's a good read, if someone hasn't linked it before.

Do you think I'm a moron? That's an open question to everyone, as that's the vibe I'm getting.

I have two degrees. One, oddly enough as the jokes create themselves, is in finance. The other degree (graduate degree) is the field of work I am in so I don't want to say it. But suffice it to say, I'm not an idiot.

We lived in that house, and as such, everything is new.

We tore the house down to its studs.

It has brand new dry wall (2012). Brand new subfloors (2012). Brand new carpets (2013). Brand new tile (2013). Brand new bathroom (2013). Brand new 30 yr rated furnace (2014). Brand new hot water heater (2015). Brand new driveway (2013). Brand new recessed lighting and ceilings (2012). Brand new ceiled concrete floor in the basement (2012). Brand new concrete patio in the backyard (2012). Brand new siding (2013). Brand new stove and refrigerator - both stainless steel (2014).

The only thing that isn't new is the roof and that's because we ran out of money.

I didn't over simplify anything. The fact is that nothing is going to need to be replaced, other than the roof, for a very long time.

As far as opportunity cost. How are we going to make any investments with that money??

The money we get from the sale would pay off our debt. Not go toward an investment.

And the very most the debt could extrapolate to, even at 25% interest, is a sum many times less than the nearly 250k we would be given up.

If you have a difference of opinion, fine. But don't ever insult my intelligence.

But then explain how you are "giving" away $223K?  Include in that formula paying off the HELOC, roof, and property tax.  Then you'll have our attention.  That is what people here are telling you.  Do a believable formula where you really end up putting $500 or $600 in an investment account after the house is free and clear of debt of all kinds and the roof is put on.  BTW - I imagine that part of your credit card debt is because of all of the NEW STUFF in the rental house - right?  You still owe the money for all of that new.

No my parents paid for everything in the rental. All the construction and upgrades

Credit card debt is from the new house.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 07:59:13 AM
Malum Prohibitum - I think you are confusing the two houses.  The rental has no mortgage; therefore the taxes and insurance are the responsibility of the owner.  The house they are living in has a mortgage.
  If that were the case, then the solution is easy.  Sell the big house and live in the rental house.  Even with a 25k HELOC and 9k in taxes owed, that is still probably the best solution.
This was actually our original thought, but after speaking to a realtor and breaking down the numbers, we would be losing money on the sale and we literally dont have the money to make up the difference.

What would the house sell for (different than its value on page 1?) and what is the realtor's commission?  Lets see the breakdown in numbers and how much you are losing (I assume by losing you mean the amount you would net is slightly less than what is owed).  Even if you have to come up with a little at the closing table, this might still be the best option.  It has to be a tiny amount if your page 1 value was anywhere close to accurate.  Then we can discuss how to raise that amount of money.



Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 07:59:57 AM
Does Mr Money Mustache himself ever post on these forums?
  Yes, but not as much as he used to.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 08:08:27 AM
The beatles,

What is your goal for this thread?

 I just now went back and read all of page 1.  I realized that you really never said.  We may be imposing our goals on you, rather than helping you meet your own goals.

If your goal is maximizing your savings rate and financial independence, then you have to cut down spending drastically.  In your case, that is easiest accomplished by selling stuff, lots of it.  Either sell the rental house, sell the big house, or sell both and go rent for a while.  Rent a place so close to work you can walk or even bike (we still, on page 17, do not know how far away your house is from work, or your rental house is from work).  Then sell one or both cars.  Stop buying so much shit, yes, that includes birthdays and Christmas.

Moving into the rental house probably means you can't fit everything, which means, of course, selling more stuff.  Craigslist, yard sales, empty it out!



BUT YOUR GOAL MAY NOT BE A HIGH SAVINGS RATE AND FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE!

So share what you hope to get out of this experience, and we can better tailor our advice to fit what it is you and your wife want out of life.

Help us help you.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 17, 2017, 08:27:07 AM
Malum Prohibitum - I think you are confusing the two houses.  The rental has no mortgage; therefore the taxes and insurance are the responsibility of the owner.  The house they are living in has a mortgage.
  If that were the case, then the solution is easy.  Sell the big house and live in the rental house.  Even with a 25k HELOC and 9k in taxes owed, that is still probably the best solution.

This was actually our original thought, but after speaking to a realtor and breaking down the numbers, we would be losing money on the sale and we literally dont have the money to make up the difference.
For the house you are currently living in, your case study shows a value over mortgage of $10k.  What would your sale costs be?

If you are looking at the cost of all the changes you made to it after purchase, such as those expensive moldings, then you need to look at those as a consumer expenditure that is lost to you.

Your calculation of the value of the rental to you misses several important points, and not just those which relate to voids, maintenance and property taxes.  It misses the point that you are currently paying 25% on the money which is paying for this house (that being the amount you are paying on the debts which selling this house would get rid of).  In fact, you are quite possibly paying even more, which is the total value of the equity in the house which you will lose when it is foreclosed on, and the cost to you of continuing to stiff the tax man on his $40k in income tax.  Which as I understand it could even land you in jail.  But "people like you" don't go to jail, right?

If you are truly stuck as to which house to sell, put both on the market and sell the first one that gets a decent offer.  That saves you from having to make your mind up.

I don't think you explained why pizza delivery was not an option for you.  Is that another "I'm too good for this" issue?

Having two degrees means someone has a certain level of intelligence and a certain level of education.  Sadly, it doesn't prevent them from being stupid about some things.  We are all relatively good at some things and relatively stupid at others.  Your level of debt suggests where your problems lie.  Now you have realised you have a problem, real stupidity would be not doing everything you can to sort it out.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 08:30:48 AM
I am no house/rental expert, but there might be other types of maintenance fees, such as :
- Changing the Windows (did that this year, pretty expensive)

Windows were done a couple years before we bought the house (around 2008).

Quote
- What if the water heater breaks? Those things are only good for 10 years right?

Depends on the year rating. Ours is a 15 year (with warranty).

Quote
- Plumbing issues : a drain came loose with our dishwasher, and we found out because the bathroom wall in the basement was getting damp.

We replaced all water pipes in the entire house with the new flex tubing that doesn't corrode or break.

Quote
- Are you at risk of flooding? Would you have to pay a deductible on it?

Nope, not a flood area.

Quote
- Vacancy is always a risk as well, apparently you should estimate 10% vacancy in calculations

True. We've been lucky in that department. It has never not been rented.

Quote
In your first post, you note that the rental brings in 1100$ per month
You then posted that the expenses were 130$ for the HELOC and 375$ for taxes, bringing it to a net of 595$.
Do you have any insurance on the property?

Insurance dropped us because of the roof.

Quote
I think there should be at least some maintenance calculated into this as well. I suppose the renters are paying electricity, trash and all those expenses?

Yes, its triple net (renters pay all).
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 08:33:04 AM
For the house you are currently living in, your case study shows a value over mortgage of $10k.  What would your sale costs be?

Approximately $18k to sell it.

That's what the sellers paid when we bought the house.

Also, we owe a couple grand in escrow fees because the mortgage company improperly calculated escrow.

So we would need to come up with about $20k in order to sell the house.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 17, 2017, 08:34:13 AM
]

Insurance dropped us because of the roof.


Your only asset and it is not insured?????  Oh god.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 08:36:48 AM
The beatles,

What is your goal for this thread?

 I just now went back and read all of page 1.  I realized that you really never said.  We may be imposing our goals on you, rather than helping you meet your own goals.

If your goal is maximizing your savings rate and financial independence, then you have to cut down spending drastically.  In your case, that is easiest accomplished by selling stuff, lots of it.  Either sell the rental house, sell the big house, or sell both and go rent for a while.  Rent a place so close to work you can walk or even bike (we still, on page 17, do not know how far away your house is from work, or your rental house is from work).  Then sell one or both cars.  Stop buying so much shit, yes, that includes birthdays and Christmas.

Moving into the rental house probably means you can't fit everything, which means, of course, selling more stuff.  Craigslist, yard sales, empty it out!



BUT YOUR GOAL MAY NOT BE A HIGH SAVINGS RATE AND FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE!

So share what you hope to get out of this experience, and we can better tailor our advice to fit what it is you and your wife want out of life.

Help us help you.

Our goal is to:

1) Pay off every ounce of debt we have.

2) Save a lot of money and feel finanically secure (at least $25k in readily accessible funds).
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ShoulderThingThatGoesUp on January 17, 2017, 08:36:57 AM
Insurance dropped us because of the roof.

Hold up. Is this thing legal to rent? Are you OK with the municipality? Is it legal to rent without insurance?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 08:37:14 AM
]

Insurance dropped us because of the roof.


Your only asset and it is not insured?????  Oh god.

Yeah, it's not great...
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Poundwise on January 17, 2017, 08:41:18 AM
Sorry Mr. Beatles, I went to bed and it looks like you got pretty buffeted overnight!

Folks, beatles HAS been making a lot of steps in his first week... small steps, but forward steps.   He DID cancel that TV. He DID stop buying lunch for everyone. He DID get his wife on the same page, and they HAVE been cutting spending. Etc. He DOES seem willing to sell his rental although understandably scared to take such a large step after throwing so much money into it. Yes, most of us would be running and screaming long before we got to the point where he is, but at least he is tiptoeing away from the fire, not further into it.

Mr. Beatles.  You are concerned about selling one of your houses; you may never have sold a property before; it is scary to you.  How about going to the Real Estate forum,  and asking how to get the most for one or both houses, even with a renter and a roof needing replacement? Link to this discussion, but summarize everything there is to know about the properties (HELOC, property taxes, insurance, deadlines, escrow fees, lease agreements with tenants, market, realtors you have consulted, etc.) Focus solely on the work it would take to figure out how to get the most out of your property before it gets taken away from you. I suggested Redfin for saving on selling costs, but I'm not an expert in real estate; you can get advice on choosing a realtor and reality checks on what the realtors tell you.

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/real-estate-and-landlording/

Whether or not you should sell, and what you should sell, you can keep discussing in this thread if you like. But it's time to break down the big daunting task of selling, into realistic little chunks that you can work on.


Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 08:41:31 AM
Malum Prohibitum - I think you are confusing the two houses.  The rental has no mortgage; therefore the taxes and insurance are the responsibility of the owner.  The house they are living in has a mortgage.
  If that were the case, then the solution is easy.  Sell the big house and live in the rental house.  Even with a 25k HELOC and 9k in taxes owed, that is still probably the best solution.
This was actually our original thought, but after speaking to a realtor and breaking down the numbers, we would be losing money on the sale and we literally dont have the money to make up the difference.

What would the house sell for (different than its value on page 1?) and what is the realtor's commission?  Lets see the breakdown in numbers and how much you are losing (I assume by losing you mean the amount you would net is slightly less than what is owed).  Even if you have to come up with a little at the closing table, this might still be the best option.  It has to be a tiny amount if your page 1 value was anywhere close to accurate.  Then we can discuss how to raise that amount of money.
If your statement is true you "literally don't have the money" to pay the property tax or for the roof on the rental.  PUT IT ON THE MARKET TODAY.  DON'T LET ANOTHER DAY GO BY.

Once sold - you can pay off most of your debt - including to the IRS - and put what you were paying in credit card payments in an investment account - BOOM - $250K in less than 20 years in savings, and peace of mind, and teaching your children financial responsibility, and freedom.  There - your life solved almost by doing ONE thing.  And you haven't even started doing it.

If a fire burns it down - you lose it and all of the new stuff.  This situation is worse than we imagined.  Get it sold NOW.  Pay off the debt on it, pay off the IRS, then pay off a credit card with anything left.  That is your stated first goal - get out of debt. 

Do you know how irresponsible keeping that rental without insurance is?  If your renter trips and breaks their back on a lose something or other - are you prepared to have part of your paycheck the rest of your life garnished for their care.  Do you have any idea how much liability you have placed on you and your family by keeping this rental without insurance?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Mmm_Donuts on January 17, 2017, 08:42:19 AM
I don't think you want MMMs response on this thread. It would be the same as what you've heard but are ignoring - sell the car, the rental, every unnecessary gadget in your home, including kids toys, get a second job (that will pay hourly, vs some pie in the sky startup dream that will COST money you don't have.) And he would tell you that your hair is on fire and that this debt is an emergency.

So you've heard the dozens of hours of wisdom everyone is imparting here - have you done any of these things? As far as I can tell you've called an accountant about your income taxes, signed up for mint, saved a few bucks on groceries, and that's about it. You have very few choices here- you HAVE to take some of these actions you're avoiding. And forget about a startup at this point in your life - where are you going to get the money for this??? You should be making these debts a #1 priority. How to do that? SELL YOUR ASSETS!!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 17, 2017, 08:47:19 AM
I have two degrees. One, oddly enough as the jokes create themselves, is in finance. The other degree (graduate degree) is the field of work I am in so I don't want to say it. But suffice it to say, I'm not an idiot.
I have two degrees. I am certainly not an idiot. I am an engineer. Still doesn't mean I know how to program a VCR.

What I'm saying is that having two degrees unfortunately does not save you from making horrible decisions. We've all been there, and like pretty much everyone I know I too have made terrible decisions based on knowledge and experience I should have had due to my degrees. Still made those calls and sometimes needed outside help to fix the ensuing havoc. Nobody says you're an idiot, it's just that many of those things that we learn at university turn out only to work in a perfect and ideal world. Especially when it comes to finance, I took a few classes because I was interested and boy did these professors idolize their models...

Anyhow, I'm proud of how far you've come. And I actually agree with you that keeping the rental property might be the smarter choice. This will, however, only work out well for you if you manage to pay off your debt as soon as possible - all of it - and treat that rental as the investment that it is supposed to be. Re: invest those $500 each month and make sure to have enough cash to fix whatever needs to get fixed. Then and only then does the math add up and you will make a profit. Right now, however, you're losing money left and right. Here's another idea that hasn't been tossed into the ring yet:

# Inform your current renters that unfortunately, they will need to move out in X months due to a personal emergency.
# Move back into the rental yourself. Yes, it'll be crowded but this will be the perfect opportunity for you to declutter and sell tons of stuff to make some money you can throw at those credit cards.
# Rent out the house you're currently living in. As far as I understand this should make you much more money in rent than the current rental, meaning you'll increase your incoming cashflow. That money, in turn, can be used to pay off debt faster.

Would that be a viable option? It sounds like both houses are in pretty good or at least decent condition and won't need any expensive repairs anytime soon.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 08:48:36 AM
I don't think you want MMMs response on this thread. It would be the same as what you've heard but are ignoring - sell the car, the rental, every unnecessary gadget in your home, including kids toys, get a second job (that will pay hourly, vs some pie in the sky startup dream that will COST money you don't have.) And he would tell you that your hair is on fire and that this debt is an emergency.

So you've heard the dozens of hours of wisdom everyone is imparting here - have you done any of these things? As far as I can tell you've called an accountant about your income taxes, signed up for mint, saved a few bucks on groceries, and that's about it. You have very few choices here- you HAVE to take some of these actions you're avoiding. And forget about a startup at this point in your life - where are you going to get the money for this??? You should be making these debts a #1 priority. How to do that? SELL YOUR ASSETS!!

The beatles only real asset isn't.  The rental property is uninsured with people living in it that could trip on something and have lifelong injuries.  The rental property is a net liability in my book.  SELL IT.  GET IT ON THE MARKET TODAY. TAKE A SICK DAY TO DO THIS.  YOUR HAIR IS ON FIRE.  YOU ARE RISKING YOUR FAMILY KEEPING THE RENTAL WITHOUT INSURANCE.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 08:52:15 AM
I have two degrees. One, oddly enough as the jokes create themselves, is in finance. The other degree (graduate degree) is the field of work I am in so I don't want to say it. But suffice it to say, I'm not an idiot.
I have two degrees. I am certainly not an idiot. I am an engineer. Still doesn't mean I know how to program a VCR.

What I'm saying is that having two degrees unfortunately does not save you from making horrible decisions. We've all been there, and like pretty much everyone I know I too have made terrible decisions based on knowledge and experience I should have had due to my degrees. Still made those calls and sometimes needed outside help to fix the ensuing havoc. Nobody says you're an idiot, it's just that many of those things that we learn at university turn out only to work in a perfect and ideal world. Especially when it comes to finance, I took a few classes because I was interested and boy did these professors idolize their models...

Anyhow, I'm proud of how far you've come. And I actually agree with you that keeping the rental property might be the smarter choice. This will, however, only work out well for you if you manage to pay off your debt as soon as possible - all of it - and treat that rental as the investment that it is supposed to be. Re: invest those $500 each month and make sure to have enough cash to fix whatever needs to get fixed. Then and only then does the math add up and you will make a profit. Right now, however, you're losing money left and right. Here's another idea that hasn't been tossed into the ring yet:

# Inform your current renters that unfortunately, they will need to move out in X months due to a personal emergency.
# Move back into the rental yourself. Yes, it'll be crowded but this will be the perfect opportunity for you to declutter and sell tons of stuff to make some money you can throw at those credit cards.
# Rent out the house you're currently living in. As far as I understand this should make you much more money in rent than the current rental, meaning you'll increase your incoming cashflow. That money, in turn, can be used to pay off debt faster.

Would that be a viable option? It sounds like both houses are in pretty good or at least decent condition and won't need any expensive repairs anytime soon.

I disagree. Keeping the rental is not an option.  First - it needs a new roof.  Second - it is encumbered by property tax debt that must be paid immediately or the third party collections people are just likely to buy it for themselves, third IT IS UNINSURED,  fourth - it is highly unlikely he can rent the house they are living in for mortgage payment plus property taxes, plus insurance, plus cash buffer for house emergencies, plus cash buffer for period when it isn't rented, fourth they are in too much debt to make it work.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 17, 2017, 08:57:15 AM
I disagree. Keeping the rental is not an option.  First - it needs a new roof.  Second - it is encumbered by property tax debt that must be paid immediately or the third party collections people are just likely to buy it for themselves, third IT IS UNINSURED,  fourth - it is highly unlikely he can rent the house they are living in for mortgage payment plus property taxes, plus insurance, plus cash buffer for house emergencies, plus cash buffer for period when it isn't rented, fourth they are in too much debt to make it work.
Neither the roof nor the insurance will matter if they live in their by themselves. He may be able to fix the roof himself, who knows?
And whether or not he will make a profit depends on how high the resulting rent would be. In a HCOL area a house like that can easily net around $3,000 each month.

Again, it all depends on math. Based on real numbers, not fictitious models ;)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 17, 2017, 09:01:32 AM
You act like paying off debt takes study time.

Actually, it does.  Look at the time the people on this thread have spent researching laws in your county, running numbers, noodling on plans.  If you add it up, it's likely hundreds of hours.

Take the time to write Craigslist posts and sell your stuff.  Take the time to work with a realtor.  Take the time to research quotes on replacing the roof on your rental if that's the path you're going to take.  The stuff about the side venture will just clutter up your head and distract you from your main focus, which is escaping the cheetah that is about to turn you and your family into gazelle burgers.

Call each credit card company and have a chat?

Yes, actually, you SHOULD do this.  Ask them to lower your interest rate, and see if they'll budge.  Sometimes they will.  Sometimes they may have offers.  Sometimes a card on which you have a little room may be able to accept a balance transfer from one with a higher interest rate.  Play the game--you need every win you can get, however small.

Everything you've mentioned, we've already done.

Would you like me to do it a 2nd and 3rd time for fun sake?

This goes directly to the "do you think I'm a moron" comment: you are giving us almost no visibility into what you are actually doing. People make suggestions; they get no response; then the next post from you is something like, "gee, I don't really want to sell the rental," or "wow, I have this exciting startup idea I'm spending my spare time on."  From our perspective, it sounds like we spent a lot of time making suggestions, and your response was to come up with rationales to blow them off.

The quoted bit is just one example.  Here were several specific action items.  This was not the first time these specific actions were raised.  But the only things you had mentioned in response to those earlier suggestions was stopping buying lunches, brown-bagging your own lunches, and calling the tax office when it was closed.  If you have actually done all of these other things, that's freaking awesome -- so tell us about it!  We want to cheer you on!

People are treating you like you are stupid because they are not seeing the effort and analysis and calculation you are putting into it, which makes it seem like we need to say the same thing multiple times and it's still not sinking in.  And you are treating us as stupid for exactly the same reason -- what a bunch of silly suggestions, can't you see I've already done that, move on to the next thing (even though we have no way to know what you've done until you give us the eye-roll response above).  This is really, really not productive for anyone.  If you want useful suggestions for next steps, you need to give more detail on what you have already done since you started posting here.  And if you don't want specific suggestions and advice, then what is your goal here?  What are you looking to get from this?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 09:03:15 AM
The beatles,

What is your goal for this thread?

 I just now went back and read all of page 1.  I realized that you really never said.  We may be imposing our goals on you, rather than helping you meet your own goals.

If your goal is maximizing your savings rate and financial independence, then you have to cut down spending drastically.  In your case, that is easiest accomplished by selling stuff, lots of it.  Either sell the rental house, sell the big house, or sell both and go rent for a while.  Rent a place so close to work you can walk or even bike (we still, on page 17, do not know how far away your house is from work, or your rental house is from work).  Then sell one or both cars.  Stop buying so much shit, yes, that includes birthdays and Christmas.

Moving into the rental house probably means you can't fit everything, which means, of course, selling more stuff.  Craigslist, yard sales, empty it out!



BUT YOUR GOAL MAY NOT BE A HIGH SAVINGS RATE AND FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE!

So share what you hope to get out of this experience, and we can better tailor our advice to fit what it is you and your wife want out of life.

Help us help you.

Our goal is to:

1) Pay off every ounce of debt we have.

2) Save a lot of money and feel finanically secure (at least $25k in readily accessible funds).

Well, then, that's pretty damn easy.  You just have to make some adjustments.

You did not say how soon.  You could have debt gone (except mortgage) and $25,000 in readily accessible funds in two years or less with no selling of the houses, no selling of the cars, just modifying your current spending habits.

The last update we had was you project $670 savings.  That was work lunches and massages.

You are working on groceries and eating out.

Get your groceries down to $550 a month.  Stop eating out, period.  Make some more cuts in your budget, establish an emergency fund.  Stop borrowing anything for any reason whatsoever (just do without instead of borrowing).  Add those savings each month to your $670 already realized, and this will add up pretty quickly.

It's just numbers, and you are a finance major, so . . .

Stop buying.

My wife and I are doing a No Spending Week starting tonight at midnight.

We feed a family of six on roughly the amount I am suggesting to you.  We have spent 0.09 on eating out in January (yes, that's nine cents, LOL!).  My wife, the family CFO, is projecting in her report to the CEO (me! ) that we will meet that $550 goal.

Start looking at each and every expense, with the goal of spending $0 on that category, or getting as close to $0 as possible.

If you want to beat the two years or a little less timeline, then more drastic action needs to be taken, such as selling stuff.  Take a little while to buy nothing that is not directly related to survival, such as food.  This would make the most dramatic impact. 

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Unique User on January 17, 2017, 09:06:17 AM
I don't get the impression it is a HCOL area.  Beatle - you say don't want to lose the $500 a month in rent, I understand, but how much will insurance cost?  And what if property taxes go up?  And what happens when they move out and it needs to be painted and carpets cleaned or they break the microwave.  What happens when the tenants move out in the middle of the night and you find they left a pile of crap for you to clean up.  These things have all happened to me with rentals.  $500 is just not enough per month to justify when you are in this kind of situation.  Maybe you are not truly freaked out because your parents will bail you out.  Maybe you just don't think it will happen to you.  But, you need to sell the rental or move into it and sell the other house.  You can't have a rental without insurance, that is potential financial ruin, please don't do this to yourself or your family. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 09:07:19 AM
what is your goal here?  What are you looking to get from this?
  Look at my similar question to him, and his response.

He wants out of debt and to save $25,000.

If we had all known that earlier, it would have saved a lot of trouble.  Those are pretty easy goals to attain.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 09:10:17 AM
He makes roughly $60K per year.  He owes $40K to the IRS, $60K to Credit Card, $15K to property taxes, $4K to fix the roof - that is almost 2 years of before tax pay.  I don't see how you calculate he can pay off all of this debt and live on any grocery budget at all?  Can you elaborate please?  Because he already doesn't think his hair is on fire.  And his rental house has no insurance because it needs a new roof  - BTW - if that roof fails it could ruin all of the "new" stuff in the house his parents paid for.

BTW - when you have a failing roof - why do you put new appliances in a house?  Why isn't the first priority the roof?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 09:14:45 AM
He makes roughly $60K per year.  He owes $40K to the IRS, $60K to Credit Card, $15K to property taxes, $4K to fix the roof - that is almost 2 years of before tax pay.  I don't see how you calculate he can pay off all of this debt and live on any grocery budget at all?  Can you elaborate please?  Because he already doesn't think his hair is on fire.  And his rental house has no insurance because it needs a new roof  - BTW - if that roof fails it could ruin all of the "new" stuff in the house his parents paid for.

BTW - when you have a failing roof - why do you put new appliances in a house?  Why isn't the first priority the roof?
  I keep forgetting about he $40k to the IRS.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: scantee on January 17, 2017, 09:22:13 AM
Whether the rental is profitable long-term is irrelevant. Beatles, you do not have the financial sophistication nor the mental energy to own two properties. You just don't. Maybe someday in the future, when you've gotten your financial house in order and have been stable for years, you'll be able to own rental property, but not now. You need to sell one of your houses asap and simplify your financial situation as much as possible.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Mmm_Donuts on January 17, 2017, 09:22:21 AM
Maybe Beatle's hesitance to sell the house comes down to the fact that his parents put so much money into it already. Beatles, I'm sure you're aware of the Sunk Cost Fallacy. I believe that is what's happening here. You definitely need to sell this property, for many reasons already mentioned above. Basically, you can't afford it, since you haven't been able to pay taxes on it for THREE YEARS! To me this is a no brainer. I can only guess that you are not able to do the math for emotional reasons.

Would it help if you sat down with your parents and had a talk with them about selling it? Not to ask for more money from them, but to let them know, and tell them that it is weighing you down. I think it would be hurtful to your pride to admit this, but I am hearing in your brief replies that you are having a hard time admitting to yourself that you've made some mistakes here. You have overspent on cars, housing, groceries, gadgets, relative to your income.

It's not rocket science. You are a smart person. But sometimes emotions get in the way. You must see that to solve your problem you need to a) sell assets b) earn more money without risk (such as a startup) and/or c) cut expenses. Those are the only three adult options available to you to clear your debt. It seems like you are hoping MMM and his forum users can magically cut your expenses to the point that you don't have to deal with any of these past mistakes. Maybe the first step for you needs to be taking a very clear look at your life, admitting you have (or had) a spending problem, and then fixing it from there. If you're concerned with the speed of fixing this problem, then a) and b) are your fastest routes. On your current income, with your current habits, c) might be a good solution too but will be the slowest.

Good luck.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: wenchsenior on January 17, 2017, 09:26:17 AM
I don't think you want MMMs response on this thread. It would be the same as what you've heard but are ignoring - sell the car, the rental, every unnecessary gadget in your home, including kids toys, get a second job (that will pay hourly, vs some pie in the sky startup dream that will COST money you don't have.) And he would tell you that your hair is on fire and that this debt is an emergency.

So you've heard the dozens of hours of wisdom everyone is imparting here - have you done any of these things? As far as I can tell you've called an accountant about your income taxes, signed up for mint, saved a few bucks on groceries, and that's about it. You have very few choices here- you HAVE to take some of these actions you're avoiding. And forget about a startup at this point in your life - where are you going to get the money for this??? You should be making these debts a #1 priority. How to do that? SELL YOUR ASSETS!!

The beatles only real asset isn't.  The rental property is uninsured with people living in it that could trip on something and have lifelong injuries.  The rental property is a net liability in my book.  SELL IT.  GET IT ON THE MARKET TODAY. TAKE A SICK DAY TO DO THIS.  YOUR HAIR IS ON FIRE.  YOU ARE RISKING YOUR FAMILY KEEPING THE RENTAL WITHOUT INSURANCE.

+1 million

This situation is beyond terrifying. I have no words.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 17, 2017, 09:37:15 AM
Going in a totally different direction than other posts here for the last page or two. Or dozen. :)

I want to go back to a couple earlier points - your wife shopping because it makes her happy, and driving all over town every day to keep the children occupied and entertained.

There's a real opportunity here. For whatever reason, through your posts here the day to day life of your family members is coming across as somewhat unfulfilling, like a void that needs to be filled by external things. Not that they hate their life - but that something on a very fundamental level is missing.

Other people are saying drop the blog side hustle, put ALL your time into negotiating credit cards, researching when your foreclosure might happen, tax laws, etc.

As a person who is working to undo 30 years of accumulated clutter in my own house, now that I'm retired - I see that I am making good progress but I cannot just clean and craigslist and donate to thrift shops every minute of my waking life. I can keep up with regular chores, and accomplish one or two other tasks on my infinite to-do list and then I hit a wall and need a break.

I understand why people are saying you can't take a break - this is an emergency. Going back to the hair-on-fire metaphor, you can't be the fireman and decide in the midst of the fire - I'm going to just sit for ten minutes. Because the fire will get worse. I get that. But also - I get that you will need some down time. Even firemen battling raging wildfires take shifts.

What I want to toss out though is that a different sort of break might have more value to your family. Your blogging side hustle is about you getting a break to do something you find fulfilling. But you have a wife who is struggling to find something other than shopping that makes her feel happy. You probably get to talk to other adults in your day to day job, and then the side hustle is something you find intellectually stimulating on top of that. It's so much harder as a stay at home mom, spending all the waking hours solely interacting with toddlers. And you have children who apparently are struggling to find happiness on their own, who need to be entertained by outside activities or things. What if you used your spare time to create family experiences and traditions and memories with your wife and children, instead of coding a website, or retreating to a mancave in the basement to watch a giant tv or play video games?

It could be building an outside temporary fort with the kids (out of items you find, blankets and chairs - not a trip to the hardware store), and having a picnic in it once a week - and having an indoor picnic weekly if it's raining out. It could be a talent (or "no-talent") show once a week, where you take turns singing, or telling a joke, or doing a dance, or performing athletic feats, or telling a story, or doing a puppet show. You could have a weekly "kids pick a meal they like, and we learn together to cook it" night. Find multiple things like this that add value to your family life, and make your time together what brings happiness to your wife and the planning for these things during the day could be the thing that keeps your kids actively engaged in the world, instead of outsiders having to create the entertainment or environment for them.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 17, 2017, 09:41:04 AM
Beatles: we care about your situation (I do at least) and if this were just a cash flow problem we could absolutely help with trimming fat and getting you set up in the black and saving. That is step 2 though. Step 1 is almost literally making sure you don't end up homeless and destitute next month. The more you tell us, the more and more scared I am getting on your behalf. You have constructed a house of cards that is one small breeze away from completely falling down around you. I can't impress upon you how scary this is and how much you stand to lose. This is so frightening. Please, please set your pride aside and do what is best for you and your family. Sell both of those suckers immediately and move to a 2-bedroom apartment close to work. Your kids are too young to know the difference but they sure as heck will thank you for keeping their world together and not ending up at a homeless shelter.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 17, 2017, 09:48:35 AM
Going in a totally different direction than other posts here for the last page or two. Or dozen. :)

I want to go back to a couple earlier points - your wife shopping because it makes her happy, and driving all over town every day to keep the children occupied and entertained.

There's a real opportunity here. For whatever reason, through your posts here the day to day life of your family members is coming across as somewhat unfulfilling, like a void that needs to be filled by external things. Not that they hate their life - but that something on a very fundamental level is missing.

Other people are saying drop the blog side hustle, put ALL your time into negotiating credit cards, researching when your foreclosure might happen, tax laws, etc.

As a person who is working to undo 30 years of accumulated clutter in my own house, now that I'm retired - I see that I am making good progress but I cannot just clean and craigslist and donate to thrift shops every minute of my waking life. I can keep up with regular chores, and accomplish one or two other tasks on my infinite to-do list and then I hit a wall and need a break.

I understand why people are saying you can't take a break - this is an emergency. Going back to the hair-on-fire metaphor, you can't be the fireman and decide in the midst of the fire - I'm going to just sit for ten minutes. Because the fire will get worse. I get that. But also - I get that you will need some down time. Even firemen battling raging wildfires take shifts.

What I want to toss out though is that a different sort of break might have more value to your family. Your blogging side hustle is about you getting a break to do something you find fulfilling. But you have a wife who is struggling to find something other than shopping that makes her feel happy. You probably get to talk to other adults in your day to day job, and then the side hustle is something you find intellectually stimulating on top of that. It's so much harder as a stay at home mom, spending all the waking hours solely interacting with toddlers. And you have children who apparently are struggling to find happiness on their own, who need to be entertained by outside activities or things. What if you used your spare time to create family experiences and traditions and memories with your wife and children, instead of coding a website, or retreating to a mancave in the basement to watch a giant tv or play video games?

It could be building an outside temporary fort with the kids (out of items you find, blankets and chairs - not a trip to the hardware store), and having a picnic in it once a week - and having an indoor picnic weekly if it's raining out. It could be a talent (or "no-talent") show once a week, where you take turns singing, or telling a joke, or doing a dance, or performing athletic feats, or telling a story, or doing a puppet show. You could have a weekly "kids pick a meal they like, and we learn together to cook it" night. Find multiple things like this that add value to your family life, and make your time together what brings happiness to your wife and the planning for these things during the day could be the thing that keeps your kids actively engaged in the world, instead of outsiders having the create the entertainment or environment for them.

I love this.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 09:56:30 AM
Have some good and bad news.

I called around and got the property tax payment plan set up.

The monthly payment is a bit of a shocker, but what can you do?

Moving forward...

http://stackingpennies.org/property-tax-payment-plan-rental-house/
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 10:02:33 AM
Sorry Mr. Beatles, I went to bed and it looks like you got pretty buffeted overnight!

Folks, beatles HAS been making a lot of steps in his first week... small steps, but forward steps.   He DID cancel that TV. He DID stop buying lunch for everyone. He DID get his wife on the same page, and they HAVE been cutting spending. Etc. He DOES seem willing to sell his rental although understandably scared to take such a large step after throwing so much money into it. Yes, most of us would be running and screaming long before we got to the point where he is, but at least he is tiptoeing away from the fire, not further into it.


Yeah ... BUT i'm not looking at a spreadsheet of my debt every second of every day.

And i'm not selling our kitchen sink to get $3 and twenty one cents to put towards the credit card.

And i'm *gasp* spending 30 minutes while I'm in bed at night thinking about a cool idea I have.

How dare I!!!!!!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 10:03:38 AM
Do you think I'm a moron?

I have two degrees. One, oddly enough as the jokes create themselves, is in finance. The other degree (graduate degree) is the field of work I am in so I don't want to say it. But suffice it to say, I'm not an idiot.

According to Thomas Stanley, the profession that most grossly UNDERaccumulates wealth in relation to income is . . . drum roll please . . . doctors.


Do you think doctors are morons?  Are they idiots?  After all, they have degrees!


There is no relationship to your IQ and your net worth today. 

The only thing that matters is your savings rate.  This is the percentage of your net income that you do not spend.  Do you even know what yours is?  Your college degrees will not tell you what it is.  Your IQ will not, either.  My grandparents did not graduate high school, but they had huge savings rates.  Yours probably did, too.

I am guessing it is this pride at your degrees and intelligence that is standing in the way of your financial success.  Learn to listen to some people who may have been where you are but turned it around.  They may have degrees, too.  They may not.  But learn what you can from those who have succeeded in having high savings rates.

Thank you.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: 1967mama on January 17, 2017, 10:05:26 AM
Beatles, you asked if MMM ever posts on the forum himself which made me wonder how much of his writing you've had the chance to read? I was actually just saying to my husband the other day that I would like to print out his blog posts and assemble them in a binder for reading and motivation. I know they are all here online but I'm old fashioned that way and want to make my own MMM book.

Anyhoo, here's a link to what he affectionately calls "All The Posts Since the Beginning of Time" which some forum members have binge read ... it kind of got MMM inside my head. I'm sure your wife would find them helpful as well. It doesn't take long to read one of his original posts and it often seems like he is writing directly to you:-)

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/all-the-posts-since-the-beginning-of-time/
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 10:05:50 AM
I don't get the impression it is a HCOL area.  Beatle - you say don't want to lose the $500 a month in rent, I understand, but how much will insurance cost?  And what if property taxes go up?  And what happens when they move out and it needs to be painted and carpets cleaned or they break the microwave.  What happens when the tenants move out in the middle of the night and you find they left a pile of crap for you to clean up.  These things have all happened to me with rentals.  $500 is just not enough per month to justify when you are in this kind of situation.  Maybe you are not truly freaked out because your parents will bail you out.  Maybe you just don't think it will happen to you.  But, you need to sell the rental or move into it and sell the other house.  You can't have a rental without insurance, that is potential financial ruin, please don't do this to yourself or your family.

Being a landlord yourself, what is enough to make it worthwhile for you?

How much do you require your properties to net you?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 10:08:44 AM
I don't think you want MMMs response on this thread. It would be the same as what you've heard but are ignoring - sell the car, the rental, every unnecessary gadget in your home, including kids toys, get a second job (that will pay hourly, vs some pie in the sky startup dream that will COST money you don't have.) And he would tell you that your hair is on fire and that this debt is an emergency.

So you've heard the dozens of hours of wisdom everyone is imparting here - have you done any of these things? As far as I can tell you've called an accountant about your income taxes, signed up for mint, saved a few bucks on groceries, and that's about it. You have very few choices here- you HAVE to take some of these actions you're avoiding. And forget about a startup at this point in your life - where are you going to get the money for this??? You should be making these debts a #1 priority. How to do that? SELL YOUR ASSETS!!

The beatles only real asset isn't.  The rental property is uninsured with people living in it that could trip on something and have lifelong injuries.  The rental property is a net liability in my book.  SELL IT.  GET IT ON THE MARKET TODAY. TAKE A SICK DAY TO DO THIS.  YOUR HAIR IS ON FIRE.  YOU ARE RISKING YOUR FAMILY KEEPING THE RENTAL WITHOUT INSURANCE.

We've tried to get insurance on it!

Companies sign us up and then as soon as they do the drive-by inspection, they cancel it!

We have NOT ignored the property insurance. We've tried hard to do that.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 17, 2017, 10:17:45 AM
I was wrong.

It's 3 years, not 2.

Ugh.

OMG. This changes everything.

Pizza's are not an option.

WHY?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 10:19:31 AM
Going in a totally different direction than other posts here for the last page or two. Or dozen. :)

I want to go back to a couple earlier points - your wife shopping because it makes her happy, and driving all over town every day to keep the children occupied and entertained.

There's a real opportunity here. For whatever reason, through your posts here the day to day life of your family members is coming across as somewhat unfulfilling, like a void that needs to be filled by external things. Not that they hate their life - but that something on a very fundamental level is missing.

Other people are saying drop the blog side hustle, put ALL your time into negotiating credit cards, researching when your foreclosure might happen, tax laws, etc.

As a person who is working to undo 30 years of accumulated clutter in my own house, now that I'm retired - I see that I am making good progress but I cannot just clean and craigslist and donate to thrift shops every minute of my waking life. I can keep up with regular chores, and accomplish one or two other tasks on my infinite to-do list and then I hit a wall and need a break.

I understand why people are saying you can't take a break - this is an emergency. Going back to the hair-on-fire metaphor, you can't be the fireman and decide in the midst of the fire - I'm going to just sit for ten minutes. Because the fire will get worse. I get that. But also - I get that you will need some down time. Even firemen battling raging wildfires take shifts.

What I want to toss out though is that a different sort of break might have more value to your family. Your blogging side hustle is about you getting a break to do something you find fulfilling. But you have a wife who is struggling to find something other than shopping that makes her feel happy. You probably get to talk to other adults in your day to day job, and then the side hustle is something you find intellectually stimulating on top of that. It's so much harder as a stay at home mom, spending all the waking hours solely interacting with toddlers. And you have children who apparently are struggling to find happiness on their own, who need to be entertained by outside activities or things. What if you used your spare time to create family experiences and traditions and memories with your wife and children, instead of coding a website, or retreating to a mancave in the basement to watch a giant tv or play video games?

It could be building an outside temporary fort with the kids (out of items you find, blankets and chairs - not a trip to the hardware store), and having a picnic in it once a week - and having an indoor picnic weekly if it's raining out. It could be a talent (or "no-talent") show once a week, where you take turns singing, or telling a joke, or doing a dance, or performing athletic feats, or telling a story, or doing a puppet show. You could have a weekly "kids pick a meal they like, and we learn together to cook it" night. Find multiple things like this that add value to your family life, and make your time together what brings happiness to your wife and the planning for these things during the day could be the thing that keeps your kids actively engaged in the world, instead of outsiders having to create the entertainment or environment for them.

This is awesome.

Thank you.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 10:20:41 AM
Have some good and bad news.

I called around and got the property tax payment plan set up.

The monthly payment is a bit of a shocker, but what can you do?

Moving forward...

http://stackingpennies.org/property-tax-payment-plan-rental-house/

Taking everything at face value in your blog post - You can pay at 18% interest

OR

you can sell and walk away with $30,000.

Then use the 30,000 to pay off debt.

Just by selling, you will have eliminated the property tax debt, the HELOC, the car note, all of the credit cards, and, if I am correct, be left with no debt but your mortgage and the $40k to the IRS. 

Is that right?

I know which way I would go.  In one fell swoop, you will have eliminated ALL of those monthly recurring obligations.  The $535 to the property tax lien holder.  The $670 you already did (lunches and massages).  The $393 to the car . . . are you adding this up?  By the way, once you payoff the car, you can reduce the insurance on it and save monthly there, too ($135 a month for insurance is insane).  Plus the $850 monthly on credit cards and furniture debt.  Plus the monthly payment on the HELOC ($135???).  How much a month is that, total?  Start setting it aside each month, stockpiling cash to workout your IRS issue. Then start saving for real.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 10:21:10 AM


WHY?

Because of my back, I physically can't get in and out of a car that many times a night (to deliver pizza's).

If there was Uber or Lyft in my area, I would work 20 extra hours a week AFTER my day job, just for the extra money. Because I wouldn't have to get in and out, in and out etc.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 10:22:55 AM
Have some good and bad news.

I called around and got the property tax payment plan set up.

The monthly payment is a bit of a shocker, but what can you do?

Moving forward...

http://stackingpennies.org/property-tax-payment-plan-rental-house/

AWESOME work.  Now you know what the requirement is, and you have a path forward.

The next step is figuring out how much money you have in your budget to devote to debt repayment.  That's your starting "snowball" amount.

Run the numbers and calculate what that number is.  Then go back and look at your budget again, and see where you might be able to squeeze more money out of it.  Be ruthless.

Report that number back to us, and we can then suggest a payment plan. 

Great work!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 10:24:50 AM
Have some good and bad news.

I called around and got the property tax payment plan set up.

The monthly payment is a bit of a shocker, but what can you do?

Moving forward...

http://stackingpennies.org/property-tax-payment-plan-rental-house/

Beatles -you cannot afford that payment given your current other obligations and THE UPCOMING PROPERTY TAX OWED THIS YEAR.  The rental is not insured.  It must go on the market or you could be in serious liability trouble should something happen. YOUR HAIR, PANTS, AND SHOES are on fire.  You have to sell the rental.  Why are you putting this off. You could lose everything you have and FUTURE paychecks because your rental is uninsured.  And a strong storm could devastate you.  And it is in a place going downhill in value. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 10:26:49 AM
Selling the home would save you almost $3000 monthly in expenses.   Seriously, add up the categories I put up there in post #854 (HELOC, property tax, credit cards, furniture, car payments, and I am including the $670 already saved in work lunches and massages).

Grocery/eating out expense modification could save you another $1000.

That's $4000 a month just by selling the rental.

How soon could you pay off the IRS with an extra $4000 a month available?

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 10:31:37 AM
Have some good and bad news.

I called around and got the property tax payment plan set up.

The monthly payment is a bit of a shocker, but what can you do?

Moving forward...

http://stackingpennies.org/property-tax-payment-plan-rental-house/

AWESOME work.  Now you know what the requirement is, and you have a path forward.

The next step is figuring out how much money you have in your budget to devote to debt repayment.  That's your starting "snowball" amount.

Run the numbers and calculate what that number is.  Then go back and look at your budget again, and see where you might be able to squeeze more money out of it.  Be ruthless.

Report that number back to us, and we can then suggest a payment plan. 

Great work!

Edit: I read this wrong.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 10:36:17 AM
The zoot's post is worded awkwardly, but he said in the first line, "now you know what the requirement is."  He is asking you to figure out how much room you have in your budget to pay it faster.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 10:37:09 AM
Taking everything at face value in your blog post - You can pay at 18% interest

OR

you can sell and walk away with $30,000.

Then use the 30,000 to pay off debt.

Just by selling, you will have eliminated the property tax debt, the HELOC, the car note, all of the credit cards, and, if I am correct, be left with no debt but your mortgage and the $40k to the IRS. 

Is that right?

I know which way I would go.  In one fell swoop, you will have eliminated ALL of those monthly recurring obligations.  The $535 to the property tax lien holder.  The $670 you already did (lunches and massages).  The $393 to the car . . . are you adding this up?  By the way, once you payoff the car, you can reduce the insurance on it and save monthly there, too ($135 a month for insurance is insane).  Plus the $850 monthly on credit cards and furniture debt.  Plus the monthly payment on the HELOC ($135???).  How much a month is that, total?  Start setting it aside each month, stockpiling cash to workout your IRS issue. Then start saving for real.

This, x1000.

I know I've been talking about repayment plans and all that, because Beatles really seemed to want to keep the rental (while disagreeing strongly that he should). 

But what Malum Prohibitum points about above is really the simplest, quickest solution.  It wipes out everything but the IRS debt, and then the "snowball" (and any other funds that can be freed up by economizing) can be applied to that.  Keeps it simple, gets creditors off your back, and puts an end to the insane interest charges that will keep mounting. 

Just wanted to address one other question, by the way. 

Beatles, you mention in your blog that it's $595 per month profit on the rental.  Is this $595 month/$7140 year net of property taxes (and insurance if you could get it), or is it just the gross profit?

If you have to pay ~$3500 year in taxes, and should be paying another ~$500 in insurance, that's $4000 of expenses that eat in to that $7140 gross profit.  Set aside another $100 month (too low, but for the sake of example) for maintenance, and you have $5200 of expenses.  So your true net profit would be $1940/year, or just $161/month.

You are taking on a LOT of risk to keep the rental for what amounts to a very small rate of return on your investment.

I'm not now and have never been a landlord, so I'll let others with more experience correct/amend what I've said above, but to my admittedly inexperienced eyes, it doesn't look like you're getting much bang for your buck, and the bang you're getting comes with way too much risk.  When selling comes with so many other benefits, I can't see my way clear to advise you to hang on to it.

By the way:  I love the new avatar, and the links in your signature to the blog where you spell out some of the details you aren't mentioning here.  Putting together the info in the blog will greatly help you, and it will also greatly help the community here to give more detailed and specific advice.

Keep going!  You can do this!

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Mmm_Donuts on January 17, 2017, 10:37:27 AM
Doing some quick calculations here, it looks like your minimum monthly debt payment totals $3,538, which includes your mortgage, CC minimums, car and furniture loans, and this new property tax instalment. It doesn't include your IRS debt yet, or paying back your parents. This is (if I understood your initial post correctly) 70% of your net income going towards debts. With IRS payments it will be even more. It leaves you with ca. $1550 in spending money for heat, food, gas, everything day to day.

With the IRS debt it could be as low as 1k a month available to spend to support a family of 4.

Do you think that is feasible for you? Or... should you sell the house and clear a lot of this debt?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 10:43:26 AM
The zoot's post is worded awkwardly, but he said in the first line, "now you know what the requirement is."  He is asking you to figure out how much room you have in your budget to pay it faster.

Gotcha. Thanks!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 10:43:37 AM
The zoot's post is worded awkwardly, but he said in the first line, "now you know what the requirement is."  He is asking you to figure out how much room you have in your budget to pay it faster.

She, actually.  :)

Thanks for the clarification, as what I wrote was in fact worded badly.

Here's another stab at what I meant:

* Add up your monthly income, from all sources
* Add up your monthly expenses
* Subtract monthly expenses from monthly income

The amount you come up with is your "snowball"--the money left over every month after paying the minimum on all your obligations, which you will then use to pay MORE than the minimum, in a strategic fashion.

Once we know that amount, we can advise a payment strategy to help eliminate the CC/property tax/IRS debt in the most efficient way possible.

Hope that makes more sense!  :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 10:45:53 AM
From your blog:

"Either way, we have the payment agreement setup, and that means we have a small moment to breathe and assess our next steps."

How do you figure you have a moment to breathe?  Your blog doesn't take into account that you soon owe more than $4K more in property tax on this unit , that you cannot afford this payment, and that it is uninsured - leaving you open to unlimited liability - for instance - if a visiting child trips on a tree root on the property and has lifelong injuries. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 10:46:51 AM
I don't know what i'm going to tell my parents about netting $30k from a house they have been $120k into.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 10:47:38 AM
From your blog:

"Either way, we have the payment agreement setup, and that means we have a small moment to breathe and assess our next steps."

How do you figure you have a moment to breathe?  Your blog doesn't take into account that you soon owe more than $4K more in property tax on this unit , that you cannot afford this payment, and that it is uninsured - leaving you open to unlimited liability - for instance - if a visiting child trips on a tree root on the property and has lifelong injuries.

Interpret "moment to breath" to equal "they arent going to come take my house tomorrow morning".
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 10:50:09 AM
Selling the home would save you almost $3000 monthly in expenses.   Seriously, add up the categories I put up there in post #854 (HELOC, property tax, credit cards, furniture, car payments, and I am including the $670 already saved in work lunches and massages).

Grocery/eating out expense modification could save you another $1000.

That's $4000 a month just by selling the rental.

How soon could you pay off the IRS with an extra $4000 a month available?

10 months.

Or less if they accept the lesser amount the accountant is proposing.

But i'd almost rather sell the other rental that has $100k in equity than walk away with $30k on this one.

Ugh. I dont think any of you realize how frustrating this is.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 10:51:23 AM
I don't know what i'm going to tell my parents about netting $30k from a house they have been $120k into.

Yes, that's a hard pill to swallow. 

But don't think of it as the house.  It's your other spending that has got you into this hole.

If you had paid the $15K in property taxes, instead of spending that money on other things when the bills were due, the net would be $45K, for example. 

Be loyal to your future, not your past.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: emilypsf on January 17, 2017, 10:51:41 AM
Beatles, why are the insurance companies refusing to insure the rental? 

Have you read MMM's blog?  It's a great read, very entertaining, and I highly recommend reading the whole thing from the beginning.  It's hard not to spend money freely in our culture, particularly when you are used to doing so.  It requires a complete mind shift and habit change, which are things that take a long time to cultivate.  I find reading his blog articles helpful whenever I get off track with spending or my mindset, even 6+ years after finding his blog.

I think he might have some articles that address parents constantly driving kids around to activities that your wife might like.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 17, 2017, 10:54:23 AM
How soon could you pay off the IRS with an extra $4000 a month available?

10 months.

Or less if they accept the lesser amount the accountant is proposing.

But i'd almost rather sell the other rental that has $100k in equity than walk away with $30k on this one.

Ugh. I dont think any of you realize how frustrating this is.
[/quote]



****
"the other rental"?   What??????   You have two? 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: emilypsf on January 17, 2017, 10:56:03 AM
btw, MMM has an article in which he laid out the math on a decision to rent rather than sell a house that he renovated.  His conclusion was that he should have sold and put the money into the market even though he would have sold the house at a loss.  It's worth a read re: your math on your own rental house. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 10:58:10 AM
btw, MMM has an article in which he laid out the math on a decision to rent rather than sell a house that he renovated.  His conclusion was that he should have sold and put the money into the market even though he would have sold the house at a loss.  It's worth a read re: your math on your own rental house.

I've seen it.

But don't forget; He would have put it into the market. Not paid off debt.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 10:59:09 AM
You have another rental you haven't told us about??????

"But i'd almost rather sell the other rental that has $100k in equity than walk away with $30k on this one."

And if you do  - why is the decision to sell this rental so hard?  You are open to so much liability with that rental - I would not be able to sleep if I were you.  I guess that is because I'm a lawyer and I've seen what can happen.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 10:59:16 AM
Ugh. I dont think any of you realize how frustrating this is.

I understand something of the frustration with not yet being at your financial goal.  My own version of it has been saving for a particular goal, over a period of ~18 months.  Watching the number on my spreadsheet graph climb was excruciating--I wanted to be there SO BAD but there was nothing I could do to get there any faster than I already was.  But I will be there at the end of this month, and I can't even put into words how amazing that feels.

I'm also going through it with a weight loss plan I'm on--I have at least 70 pounds I'd like to lose, and I've been at it for 2 weeks, and have lost 6.  My rate of loss will slow to 1 to 2 pounds a week, which means that I will be at this for well over a year to reach my goal.  I so wish I could just snap my fingers and be a size 10 again!  Add that to the fact that I'm a great cook (if I say so myself) and inveterate foodie (I was reading cookbooks by the age of 6), and you can see how hard this is going to be.  But I didn't get here overnight, and neither will I get to my goal overnight.

Long term goals are HARD.  But they are so worth it.  :)

Hang in there!  You can do this!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 11:00:39 AM
Beatles, why are the insurance companies refusing to insure the rental? 

Because the roof is so bad.

Quote
Have you read MMM's blog?  It's a great read, very entertaining, and I highly recommend reading the whole thing from the beginning.  It's hard not to spend money freely in our culture, particularly when you are used to doing so.  It requires a complete mind shift and habit change, which are things that take a long time to cultivate.  I find reading his blog articles helpful whenever I get off track with spending or my mindset, even 6+ years after finding his blog.

I think he might have some articles that address parents constantly driving kids around to activities that your wife might like.

I keep laughing when people tell me to read MMM's blog.

How do you people think I got here (this forum) in the first place!! Haha.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 11:01:22 AM



****
"the other rental"?   What?   You have two?

Yeah, but it's honestly not even worth getting into that whole backstory.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 11:02:00 AM
But don't forget; He would have put it into the market. Not paid off debt.

By paying off your debt, you are in fact investing.

The rate of return is the interest rate on the debt you're paying off. 

By paying those debts, you are getting a return in the amount of interest you would have paid had you kept the debt.

If I had the choice between investing at 8% and paying off debt at 25% (or 18%, or 10%), I'd pay off the debt.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 11:02:17 AM
I don't know what i'm going to tell my parents about netting $30k from a house they have been $120k into.

Simple - tell them the truth - and ask them if they want to buy it at market value minus the roof cost.  That keeps it in the family.   But in any case - you cannot afford it unless you move back into it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 11:03:20 AM
Yeah, but it's honestly not even worth getting into that whole backstory.

I would say that it is definitely worth getting into.

We cannot give you sound advice if we don't know the whole picture.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 11:03:38 AM
You have another rental you haven't told us about??????

"But i'd almost rather sell the other rental that has $100k in equity than walk away with $30k on this one."

And if you do  - why is the decision to sell this rental so hard?  You are open to so much liability with that rental - I would not be able to sleep if I were you.  I guess that is because I'm a lawyer and I've seen what can happen.

Because it's an impossible situation.

Not even worth getting into.

I shouldn't have brought it up.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 11:06:03 AM
btw, MMM has an article in which he laid out the math on a decision to rent rather than sell a house that he renovated.  His conclusion was that he should have sold and put the money into the market even though he would have sold the house at a loss.  It's worth a read re: your math on your own rental house.

I've seen it.

But don't forget; He would have put it into the market. Not paid off debt.

Nobody forgot that detail.  You apparently have forgotten that HE DID NOT HAVE A MOUNTAIN OF DEBT BURNING HIS HAIR OFF LIKE YOU DO.  If he had debt - he would have paid it off.  If you read what he wrote and don't agree with that - you need to read again.  There is no way anybody on this forum would support keeping date at 3 times the rate of return you can expect to get from investing. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Poundwise on January 17, 2017, 11:06:38 AM
I agree with others, you don't seem to include  the costs of the roof, insurance, and especially, the cost of interest on your CCs and other debts if you don't use the sale of your rental to pay them off.  Also, if the neighborhood has gone downhill, it might keep sinking so what good would it be to wait?

 It could be a nice little investment if you had no other interest-bearing debts to pay. But you do. 

Quote
I don't know what i'm going to tell my parents about netting $30k from a house they have been $120k into.

Okay, this is the root of it all.  I thought you were reluctant to sell because the process of selling seemed too large a task.

Selling the rental looks to be the least disruptive way to jump start your debt removal, which is why people recommended it.  If you truly want to save the rental house, how are you going to get the income to pay off your other debts? You may be able to sell your current house + a car, then move into either the rental or a smaller place near work.  But you can't have it all.  Given your current debts-- I repeat-- you just can't have it all. 

Moreover, you don't need it all to be happy.

As for your parents, if they knew the whole situation, I think they would be disappointed, but happier to know that you were debt free and on the way to responsibility.  I don't think it's possible to hide it from them for long. Of course, you know that they will try to step in and rescue you, maybe by offering to "buy" the rental from you. I wouldn't take that offer, but if you have that obligation to them it will be hard to say no.  All I can say is that it's time to man up and clean house by giving up some of the stuff you never really owned in the first place.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 17, 2017, 11:08:33 AM
I don't know what i'm going to tell my parents about netting $30k from a house they have been $120k into.
You tell them the truth. You got in way over your heads, it had become a liability because it was uninsurable, you made the difficult decision to cut your losses now instead of risking losing all of it (or more) in a fire or other accident. That you don't consider it a total loss because it was the final push you needed to realize you need to start being responsible for your own financial decisions. And that you are going to use the profits to pay off your existing debts instead of running to them yet again to be bailed out.

And you will explain all this with humility and integrity - because part of being a financially responsible adult is making responsible decisions, instead of making bad ones because you're worried about what your parents will think..

They will react with a combination of disappointment, being mad at themselves, mad at you, being relieved that you are becoming responsible for your own finances, and respecting you for facing reality and making a difficult decision.

*Bonus points if you add that once you are out of this hole, you are going to work at paying them back what you borrowed. Based on what you've said, their reaction will be one of two things. Either they will tell you not to bother (but I promise they will appreciate that you at least offered). Or they will agree to it, and you will pay them back, which may not sit too well with you - but if you can do it on your own time table after your other debts are paid off, it sounds like in the end you will likely inherit it back anyway, and I'm guessing if they had that much to loan you in the first place, they will do fine at investing it. So it's not like you'd be losing any investment opportunities by paying it back to them.

** after reading the latest posts, either you sell the other rental with the $100k to start paying back your parents (after the other debt of course), or the profits from that rental, if there are any, go to your parents to pay them back. Or you move into that rental, sell your existing home, and use that money to pay back your parents.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Papa bear on January 17, 2017, 11:09:23 AM
Selling the home would save you almost $3000 monthly in expenses.   Seriously, add up the categories I put up there in post #854 (HELOC, property tax, credit cards, furniture, car payments, and I am including the $670 already saved in work lunches and massages).

Grocery/eating out expense modification could save you another $1000.

That's $4000 a month just by selling the rental.

How soon could you pay off the IRS with an extra $4000 a month available?

10 months.

Or less if they accept the lesser amount the accountant is proposing.

But i'd almost rather sell the other rental that has $100k in equity than walk away with $30k on this one.

Ugh. I dont think any of you realize how frustrating this is.

Ok, you have a finance degree. Why don't you run an NPV of the rental situation keep vs sell.  Those other calculations weren't finance. Do the math.

I haven't and don't want to do it. You should though.  If you can't remember how to set up an NPV calculation, go back to your old finance notes or look it up.  And you may have to run multiples to account for probabilities of not making tax payments and losing the house or having some disaster or liability claim that would bring value to 0 or less. Because these situations exist and can't be discounted.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 17, 2017, 11:09:34 AM
YOU HAVE ANOTHER RENTAL???

You know what, I'm out. This is ridiculous. You do realize that at this point nobody can take you serious anymore? You're acting like a little child here and occasionally, every couple of pages, you drop a bomb like this. You "forget" 40k IRS debt. You "forget" property tax debt. You "forget" to mention that in addition to house #1 and house #2 there's another house.

This is a total waste of time, and not worth any effort. At this point, I am beating the troll drum, and I think you're making all this up as we go. And even if this is all true and you're not making it up then you, sir, are the only person in here not realizing how frustrating trying to help you is.

Good luck. I'm out.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: notactiveanymore on January 17, 2017, 11:11:02 AM
Selling the home would save you almost $3000 monthly in expenses.   Seriously, add up the categories I put up there in post #854 (HELOC, property tax, credit cards, furniture, car payments, and I am including the $670 already saved in work lunches and massages).

Grocery/eating out expense modification could save you another $1000.

That's $4000 a month just by selling the rental.

How soon could you pay off the IRS with an extra $4000 a month available?

10 months.

Or less if they accept the lesser amount the accountant is proposing.

But i'd almost rather sell the other rental that has $100k in equity than walk away with $30k on this one.

Ugh. I dont think any of you realize how frustrating this is.

Yeah, seconded with: WHAT OTHER RENTAL????

Here's my deal. You have all the tools to be able to be debt free in about 8 months (if you sell the car and the rental). That's an amazing short period of time considering how deeply in debt you are and at such terrible rates. Yet you say conflicting things like a) that's not fast enough OR b) I don't want to use the options available to me.

You don't realize how frustrating it is to see someone who has that kind of awesome option in front of them and watch them refuse to use it. It's not usually so easy to pay off debt. My husband and I spent 21 long months paying off 55k in student loans at 6.8%, putting over 50% of our income towards it while making an average of about 75k annual gross during that time. We didn't have any assets to sell. We barely had any furniture. My husband got hit by an uninsured driver and for a few months we used duct tape to keep his headlight in place from that. We didn't have anything else to cut out of our lives. Instead we hustled for 21 months to pay it off so that we could be debt free. You know what I did when I felt the itch to spend money or get some retail therapy after a bad day? I went to the dollar store with my strictly limited cash spending money and bought a notebook or candy or something. We said no to going out. We learned how to cook better and cheaper at home.

And guess what? We're better off for having done the work. Our budget hasn't actually gone up all that much in the last few months since payoff. Instead we've bought a new (used Saturn Ion with 30k miles for 5.5k) car in cash, we've saved up a 10k emergency fund, we've started saving about 14% for retirement and started saving for a house. Doing the hard things to sort out your financial life pay off. You could end 2017 with no debt and 10k+ in an emergency fund. So go do it.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: emilypsf on January 17, 2017, 11:13:08 AM
Quote
But don't forget; He would have put it into the market. Not paid off debt.

By paying off your debt, you are in fact investing.

The rate of return is the interest rate on the debt you're paying off. 

By paying those debts, you are getting a return in the amount of interest you would have paid had you kept the debt.

If I had the choice between investing at 8% and paying off debt at 25% (or 18%, or 10%), I'd pay off the debt.

Right.  This is why some people advocate paying off a mortgage instead of investing in the market.  When you pay off debt, you're getting a guaranteed rate of return of whatever the rate is on the debt.  Same as if you invested and got that rate.

I think people keep asking if you've read the blog because many of the answers to the questions you're asking here are in the blog.  It might be worth another read.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 17, 2017, 11:14:44 AM
I don't know what i'm going to tell my parents about netting $30k from a house they have been $120k into.

Oh, Beatles. Like telling your coworkers about lunch, this is going to be a tough conversation. But every day you don't have it, your financial hole just gets deeper. You just added an 18% interest payment plan on top of everything else, for a property that is uninsured, needs a new roof, and has month-to-month renters.

You haven't followed the most basic rules of landlording: stay current on taxes and set aside money for repairs/maintenance/vacancy. Every day you own it, it's costing you more money - right now it's costing you 18% more.

We get how frustrating it is. What we're worried you don't get is how terrifyingly close you are to the edge. A difficult conversation with your parents, who clearly love you and want what's best for you, might actually be the easiest thing you face.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: researcher1 on January 17, 2017, 11:14:57 AM
Do you think I'm a moron? That's an open question to everyone, as that's the vibe I'm getting.

Do you really want us to answer this question?

I won't even get into the flawed logic and inaccurate "profit" calculations you've made.  Instead, let's just deal with a few small aspects of the rental property...
- Do you currently have an extra $535/mo. in cash flow for the property tax repayment plan?
- Do you have ~$4,000 saved up to pay the current property taxes that will be due in 2 months?
- Do you have another $4,000 to pay for the desperately needed new roof?
- Do you have additional cash flow to pay for homeowner's insurance once the roof is replaced?

Unless the answer to all of these questions is "YES," then the rental should have already been put on the market.

You, and everyone else, knows that the answer to most/all of these questions in "NO." 
Since you are determined not to sell, what is your plan to deal with all of the expenses noted above?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: a-scho on January 17, 2017, 11:19:08 AM

I understand why people are saying you can't take a break - this is an emergency. Going back to the hair-on-fire metaphor, you can't be the fireman and decide in the midst of the fire - I'm going to just sit for ten minutes. Because the fire will get worse. I get that. But also - I get that you will need some down time. Even firemen battling raging wildfires take shifts.



Yes, firemen need to take breaks. But he is not a metaphorical fireman.....he's the person on fire. If you were literally on fire, would you sit down and take a ten minute break??
Jokes aside, ok he's not really on fire.....but the MMM community, at least me, would like to have him act as if he was. I want to hear screaming(oh gawd oh gawd OH GAWD!!!!!!!), running around in circles, swatting at himself maniacally, third degree burns on 90% of his body kind of behavior.
But, I am not getting that vibe. What I hear is, "Soooooooo, I have this SITUATION. It kind of sux. There are ways to get out of it.....mainly my parents money. I don't really want to go that route, cuz, well, I am thirty years old. You guys(MMM) seem to have your act together. Can I pick your brain for ideas?" Of course we oblige. "Ummmmmmm, I don't wanna do most of those things and even if I did, I want it to take less than nine months to reach my goal." After many face punches, "You guys are wrong, overreacting, getting up in my grill, implying that I'm mentally retarded." We rebuttal with our own arguments. "No, I'm right cuz of blah blah blah." No, you are wrong cuz of one, two, three, etc. "I've got it totally under control after one whole week!! Phew!!! The last few days have been INSANE. I think I have earned the right to spend some unwind time on my new blog/startup. Hun?, do we have any more of those tasty Skinny Cows left in the house? Oh, and bring me a soda too."
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Trifle on January 17, 2017, 11:19:59 AM
YOU HAVE ANOTHER RENTAL???

You know what, I'm out. This is ridiculous. You do realize that at this point nobody can take you serious anymore? You're acting like a little child here and occasionally, every couple of pages, you drop a bomb like this. You "forget" 40k IRS debt. You "forget" property tax debt. You "forget" to mention that in addition to house #1 and house #2 there's another house.

This is a total waste of time, and not worth any effort. At this point, I am beating the troll drum, and I think you're making all this up as we go. And even if this is all true and you're not making it up then you, sir, are the only person in here not realizing how frustrating trying to help you is.

Good luck. I'm out.

Beatles, you are going to have to explain how you "forgot" to mention before now that you own another house that has $100k in equity.  That obviously has a huge bearing on all the advice you've been given.  If you don't explain that, then more of us are going to conclude you are having us on.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Unique User on January 17, 2017, 11:21:31 AM
I don't get the impression it is a HCOL area.  Beatle - you say don't want to lose the $500 a month in rent, I understand, but how much will insurance cost?  And what if property taxes go up?  And what happens when they move out and it needs to be painted and carpets cleaned or they break the microwave.  What happens when the tenants move out in the middle of the night and you find they left a pile of crap for you to clean up.  These things have all happened to me with rentals.  $500 is just not enough per month to justify when you are in this kind of situation.  Maybe you are not truly freaked out because your parents will bail you out.  Maybe you just don't think it will happen to you.  But, you need to sell the rental or move into it and sell the other house.  You can't have a rental without insurance, that is potential financial ruin, please don't do this to yourself or your family.

Being a landlord yourself, what is enough to make it worthwhile for you?

How much do you require your properties to net you?

I only have two properties.  One we bought as a rental 9 years ago.  Mortgage interest, taxes and insurance are around $425 per month, principal is another $360.  It rents for $1,150 per month, so $725 extra per month which includes the principal payoff amount.  But this one turns over a lot.  Second one is my old house.  The seller's market sucks, but the rental market is great so it's been rented for the last four years and I'm only on my second tenant who just renewed for another year.  Mortgage interest, taxes and insurance are around $730 per month, principal is another $500.  It rents for $1,650 per month, so $920 extra per month which includes the principal payoff amount.  Neither one is great for cash flow, last four years we've ended up pretty cash neutral due to AC units, hurricane damage, new roof and tenant turnover.  But, we take depreciation each year which gives me a loss for my taxes. 

Looking at those numbers, not so hot, I am the first to agree and probably some of the longtime landlord experts here on MMM would laugh at me.  But in three years (my teen graduates high school in 2.5 years), the plan is to move back to that town and into my house for two years, then sell it.  That converts it back into a primary residence and wipes out any depreciation I'd have to pay back.  After it's sold, move into the rental, repeat and then find a new place to live. 

This is long, but my point is that I had to look at all four aspects to get my justification.  The cash is not enough, there always seems to be something to pay for.  Someone else paying the mortgage, nice also, but still not enough.  A paper loss for tax purposes and being able to wipe out having to pay it back by living in them - put all four together and it's worth it to me. 

In your situation, I'd put emotion aside and sell the damn thing.  I took a $90k loss on a house once, it was painful and I still kick myself over the stupidity, but it had to be done so we did it. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 11:30:38 AM
YOU HAVE ANOTHER RENTAL???

You know what, I'm out. This is ridiculous. You do realize that at this point nobody can take you serious anymore? You're acting like a little child here and occasionally, every couple of pages, you drop a bomb like this. You "forget" 40k IRS debt. You "forget" property tax debt. You "forget" to mention that in addition to house #1 and house #2 there's another house.

This is a total waste of time, and not worth any effort. At this point, I am beating the troll drum, and I think you're making all this up as we go. And even if this is all true and you're not making it up then you, sir, are the only person in here not realizing how frustrating trying to help you is.

Good luck. I'm out.

What?

I never forgot the IRS debt.

It has been part of this thread since day 1. People just didn't see it at the bottom of the post.

The only thing I didn't tell people about is the 2nd rental and I REGRET THAT I DID. There is NOTHING I can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change? It's like being mad that the sky is blue.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 11:32:10 AM
YOU HAVE ANOTHER RENTAL???

You know what, I'm out. This is ridiculous. You do realize that at this point nobody can take you serious anymore? You're acting like a little child here and occasionally, every couple of pages, you drop a bomb like this. You "forget" 40k IRS debt. You "forget" property tax debt. You "forget" to mention that in addition to house #1 and house #2 there's another house.

This is a total waste of time, and not worth any effort. At this point, I am beating the troll drum, and I think you're making all this up as we go. And even if this is all true and you're not making it up then you, sir, are the only person in here not realizing how frustrating trying to help you is.

Good luck. I'm out.

Beatles, you are going to have to explain how you "forgot" to mention before now that you own another house that has $100k in equity.  That obviously has a huge bearing on all the advice you've been given.  If you don't explain that, then more of us are going to conclude you are having us on.

I didn't forget it.

I purposely didn't include it because its not consequental.

I dont know why I brought it up. Sorry. Just pretend I never said it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Khaetra on January 17, 2017, 11:32:19 AM
I am guessing it is this pride at your degrees and intelligence that is standing in the way of your financial success.  Learn to listen to some people who may have been where you are but turned it around.  They may have degrees, too.  They may not.  But learn what you can from those who have succeeded in having high savings rates.

I am a junior-high dropout.  Yep, never went to high school or college, worked since I was 14 and am stupid as hell about math.  But my net worth (at last check) was almost $2M.  Yep, a dropout worth 2 Million and whose monthly expenses are just shy of  $900/month.  And I still put money away monthly too :).
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: PharmaStache on January 17, 2017, 11:32:38 AM
How soon could you pay off the IRS with an extra $4000 a month available?

10 months.

Or less if they accept the lesser amount the accountant is proposing.

But i'd almost rather sell the other rental that has $100k in equity than walk away with $30k on this one.

Ugh. I dont think any of you realize how frustrating this is.



****
"the other rental"?   What??????   You have two?
[/quote]

There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 17, 2017, 11:33:20 AM
I don't know what i'm going to tell my parents about netting $30k from a house they have been $120k into.

What are they expecting? What is your agreement with them? Do they know you are 3+ years behind on property taxes?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 11:33:55 AM
I don't get the impression it is a HCOL area.  Beatle - you say don't want to lose the $500 a month in rent, I understand, but how much will insurance cost?  And what if property taxes go up?  And what happens when they move out and it needs to be painted and carpets cleaned or they break the microwave.  What happens when the tenants move out in the middle of the night and you find they left a pile of crap for you to clean up.  These things have all happened to me with rentals.  $500 is just not enough per month to justify when you are in this kind of situation.  Maybe you are not truly freaked out because your parents will bail you out.  Maybe you just don't think it will happen to you.  But, you need to sell the rental or move into it and sell the other house.  You can't have a rental without insurance, that is potential financial ruin, please don't do this to yourself or your family.

Being a landlord yourself, what is enough to make it worthwhile for you?

How much do you require your properties to net you?

I only have two properties.  One we bought as a rental 9 years ago.  Mortgage interest, taxes and insurance are around $425 per month, principal is another $360.  It rents for $1,150 per month, so $725 extra per month which includes the principal payoff amount.  But this one turns over a lot.  Second one is my old house.  The seller's market sucks, but the rental market is great so it's been rented for the last four years and I'm only on my second tenant who just renewed for another year.  Mortgage interest, taxes and insurance are around $730 per month, principal is another $500.  It rents for $1,650 per month, so $920 extra per month which includes the principal payoff amount.  Neither one is great for cash flow, last four years we've ended up pretty cash neutral due to AC units, hurricane damage, new roof and tenant turnover.  But, we take depreciation each year which gives me a loss for my taxes. 

Looking at those numbers, not so hot, I am the first to agree and probably some of the longtime landlord experts here on MMM would laugh at me.  But in three years (my teen graduates high school in 2.5 years), the plan is to move back to that town and into my house for two years, then sell it.  That converts it back into a primary residence and wipes out any depreciation I'd have to pay back.  After it's sold, move into the rental, repeat and then find a new place to live. 

This is long, but my point is that I had to look at all four aspects to get my justification.  The cash is not enough, there always seems to be something to pay for.  Someone else paying the mortgage, nice also, but still not enough.  A paper loss for tax purposes and being able to wipe out having to pay it back by living in them - put all four together and it's worth it to me. 

In your situation, I'd put emotion aside and sell the damn thing.  I took a $90k loss on a house once, it was painful and I still kick myself over the stupidity, but it had to be done so we did it.

Those seem like great numbers.

I'm on a forum called Bigger Pockets as well, and many LL's on there feel tahat anything over $500/mo is great.

Some even set the edge at $300/mo.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 17, 2017, 11:34:44 AM
btw, MMM has an article in which he laid out the math on a decision to rent rather than sell a house that he renovated.  His conclusion was that he should have sold and put the money into the market even though he would have sold the house at a loss.  It's worth a read re: your math on your own rental house.

I've seen it.

But don't forget; He would have put it into the market. Not paid off debt.

No, the markets are fickle. Debt payoff is a guaranteed return.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 17, 2017, 11:35:38 AM



****
"the other rental"?   What?   You have two?

Yeah, but it's honestly not even worth getting into that whole backstory.

Now I'm thinking the T word. As explained time and time again, you can't get honest and useful help without the full picture.  Is this mommy and daddy's rental? What is it?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 11:36:18 AM
I am guessing it is this pride at your degrees and intelligence that is standing in the way of your financial success.  Learn to listen to some people who may have been where you are but turned it around.  They may have degrees, too.  They may not.  But learn what you can from those who have succeeded in having high savings rates.

I am a junior-high dropout.  Yep, never went to high school or college, worked since I was 14 and am stupid as hell about math.  But my net worth (at last check) was almost $2M.  Yep, a dropout worth 2 Million and whose monthly expenses are just shy of  $900/month.  And I still put money away monthly too :).

How'd you do that??

Spill the beans.

Do you have a family? Single? High paying job?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 17, 2017, 11:37:28 AM
YOU HAVE ANOTHER RENTAL???

You know what, I'm out. This is ridiculous. You do realize that at this point nobody can take you serious anymore? You're acting like a little child here and occasionally, every couple of pages, you drop a bomb like this. You "forget" 40k IRS debt. You "forget" property tax debt. You "forget" to mention that in addition to house #1 and house #2 there's another house.

This is a total waste of time, and not worth any effort. At this point, I am beating the troll drum, and I think you're making all this up as we go. And even if this is all true and you're not making it up then you, sir, are the only person in here not realizing how frustrating trying to help you is.

Good luck. I'm out.

What?

I never forgot the IRS debt.

It has been part of this thread since day 1. People just didn't see it at the bottom of the post.

The only thing I didn't tell people about is the 2nd rental and I REGRET THAT I DID. There is NOTHING I can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change? It's like being mad that the sky is blue.

You never said you were 3 years delinquent in your taxes. You seemed to forget that part.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 11:38:12 AM



****
"the other rental"?   What?   You have two?

Yeah, but it's honestly not even worth getting into that whole backstory.

Now I'm thinking the T word. As explained time and time again, you can't get honest and useful help without the full picture.  Is this mommy and daddy's rental? What is it?

I'm refusing to respond to anyone who calls, or hints at calling me a troll.

I'm tired of it.

I have spent over a week on this forum, countless hours, PHOTOS, receipts, interest rates ... Eveything.

If people want to think i'm a troll - fine.

But I'm not going to respond to them.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: kms on January 17, 2017, 11:39:53 AM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, "it's not consequential" and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 11:40:38 AM
The only thing I didn't tell people about is the 2nd rental and I REGRET THAT I DID. There is NOTHING I can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change? It's like being mad that the sky is blue.

I respect your right to keep the details private if you want.  And I will take you at your word when you say that there's nothing else you haven't told us about, and that we now have the whole picture. 

If there is anything else you want to put into the mix, now would be a good time.  Some recent details that have come to light after the original case study have in fact been critical to planning the strategy (the fact that the property taxes were delinquent for three years, the fact that the rental was not insured).  If there's anything else that might be significant, especially in regards to cash flow, liabilities, insurance, tax, or any other issues related to Rental #2, get it out now, to the extent you can.

I will offer a suggestion, however:  you say that the second rental is an impossible situation you can do nothing about.  You have an incredible team of experienced professionals here (including landlords, lawyers, CPA's, builders, engineers, and so on) who might be able to offer you a different perspective if they know the details.  Don't take this for granted--this is an incredible gift that you are being given by these people, who all want the best for you and would jump up and down to see you succeed.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 17, 2017, 11:41:19 AM
btw, MMM has an article in which he laid out the math on a decision to rent rather than sell a house that he renovated.  His conclusion was that he should have sold and put the money into the market even though he would have sold the house at a loss.  It's worth a read re: your math on your own rental house.

I've seen it.

But don't forget; He would have put it into the market. Not paid off debt.

And therefore, you have the option to make an even bigger impact on your bottom line.  Putting it toward your CCs gets you an 18-25% guaranteed return.  You really think the market is going to do better than that over time?

Every dollar you make you can spend only once, and each choice gets you a different rate of return.  You can spend it on needs/wants, which means it can't be used to invest, pay down debt, cover the costs of the rental (i.e., 0% rate of return); you can invest (what, 8-10% rate of return?), but then you can't spend, pay down debt, or cover rental; etc.  So here, sure, you can hang onto the dollars that are currently in your rental (equity) and continue to put your monthly dollars toward the carrying costs, to earn your $500/mo. profit*, instead of using those dollars to pay off your massive debt.  But that means you are effectively paying 18-25% interest for the privilege of keeping that rental (because you could otherwise have used those dollars to pay off one or more CCs, and the CC company will keep charging you 18-25% on each dollar you owe until you do so). 

Do the math for yourself -- do a spreadsheet of "what ifs," and figure out your net worth in 10 years under each option.  At those CC rates, I can't imagine that anything will work out better than "sell and throw all available $$ at the debt." 

*Not counting the various other costs of ownership discussed in the many, many earlier pages of this thread, the possibility of total loss from a fire/lawsuit, etc.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 11:43:04 AM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, it's not consequential and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"

For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 11:44:36 AM
The only thing I didn't tell people about is the 2nd rental and I REGRET THAT I DID. There is NOTHING I can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change? It's like being mad that the sky is blue.
 

If there is anything else you want to put into the mix, now would be a good time.  Some recent details that have come to light after the original case study have in fact been critical to planning the strategy (the fact that the property taxes were delinquent for three years, the fact that the rental was not insured).  If there's anything else that might be significant, especially in regards to cash flow, liabilities, insurance, tax, or any other issues related to Rental #2, get it out now, to the extent you can.

Just to be clear though, I didn't leave those items out (example; taxes).

They're right there in the case study.

People just didnt see them for whatever reason.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 17, 2017, 11:45:52 AM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, it's not consequential and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"

For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.

Oh my gosh, Beatles! Could your family move in the 1,000 s.f. apartment, even temporarily? Then you could sell current house and rental property, and your wife would have some adult company nearby but not underfoot.

You've got a lot of moving parts. Imagine if you took two of them - your current house and your rental house - and *poof* did away with them.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ketchup on January 17, 2017, 11:47:49 AM
I don't get the impression it is a HCOL area.  Beatle - you say don't want to lose the $500 a month in rent, I understand, but how much will insurance cost?  And what if property taxes go up?  And what happens when they move out and it needs to be painted and carpets cleaned or they break the microwave.  What happens when the tenants move out in the middle of the night and you find they left a pile of crap for you to clean up.  These things have all happened to me with rentals.  $500 is just not enough per month to justify when you are in this kind of situation.  Maybe you are not truly freaked out because your parents will bail you out.  Maybe you just don't think it will happen to you.  But, you need to sell the rental or move into it and sell the other house.  You can't have a rental without insurance, that is potential financial ruin, please don't do this to yourself or your family.

Being a landlord yourself, what is enough to make it worthwhile for you?

How much do you require your properties to net you?
Jumping in here, I have one rental property and have learned my fair share about landlording and real estate investing.

Your "profit" (cashflow) is the rent minus debt repayment (the HELOC in your case), taxes (~$4k/yr for you I think), maintenance, repairs, capex (like your roof, which has to be replaced on a schedule), and vacancy (10% is a good place to start).  Not all of those things happen every month, but you need to budget for them anyway.  That way, the next time you need to drop a bunch on something big (like a roof) you have the cash.  My gut says that your ~$600/mo doesn't include all those things, and you're putting that full $600 in your pocket instead of earmarking pieces of it for the future expenses on that property.  I've been there.  I fixed that.

You need the liquidity too, when you own rental property.  You don't have that.  That's why you have a property with a bad roof that you can't insure.  If lightning strikes your property tomorrow and burns it down, you're fucked.  Even if you had insurance, you'd be fucked, because you probably wouldn't be able to come up with the deductible!  I need about $10k liquid to sleep at night while owning rental property.

My point: you probably are making less on the rental house than you think.  And you aren't in a financial position to manage a rental property responsibly without walking on eggshells and hoping nothing bad happens, which isn't really a strategy at all.

After the dust has settled, you're current on your taxes, your CC/etc debt is gone, you've got that $25k in the bank that you want, maybe then you can look at real estate investing again.  It's truly a wonderful wealth-building tool.  But you need to get your shit together first.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Papa bear on January 17, 2017, 11:47:55 AM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, it's not consequential and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"

For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.

So, you have a tenant slip and fall at rental without insurance and you get sued.  Personally.  Lose other rental.  This is all tied together. 

I get that you think it is a separate piece of the puzzle.  It's not. Do what you want to do.  Pay off your debt slowly, or all at once.  Whatever. But seriously, protect yourself. Insurance, pay off tax debt. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 11:48:52 AM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, it's not consequential and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"

For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.

Oh my gosh, Beatles! Could your family move in the 1,000 s.f. apartment, even temporarily? Then you could sell current house and rental property, and your wife would have some adult company nearby but not underfoot.

You've got a lot of moving parts. Imagine if you took two of them - your current house and your rental house - and *poof* did away with them.

It's a 1 bedroom apt. I really don't know how we would possibly make that work.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: PharmaStache on January 17, 2017, 11:49:37 AM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, it's not consequential and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"

For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.

How about they buy it from you?  They're not really doing you a favour by keeping 100k in equity locked up.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Khaetra on January 17, 2017, 11:50:00 AM
I am guessing it is this pride at your degrees and intelligence that is standing in the way of your financial success.  Learn to listen to some people who may have been where you are but turned it around.  They may have degrees, too.  They may not.  But learn what you can from those who have succeeded in having high savings rates.

I am a junior-high dropout.  Yep, never went to high school or college, worked since I was 14 and am stupid as hell about math.  But my net worth (at last check) was almost $2M.  Yep, a dropout worth 2 Million and whose monthly expenses are just shy of  $900/month.  And I still put money away monthly too :).

How'd you do that??

Spill the beans.

Do you have a family? Single? High paying job?

None of the above.  I was kicked out when I was 14 (story for another time) , saw how badly my parents had managed money and was determined not to follow that path (they both died broke).  I had friends whose fathers were bankers and accountants who gave me very good money advice, which I follow to this day: "live like you are poorer than poor".  I made a career in the kitchen (I was a Chef), saved over half of what I made, invested wisely and didn't buy anything I didn't need.  I do own a house, which I paid off over 20 years ago and I just paid cash for a brand-new car, which I will keep for many years (probably for the rest of my life).  I still don't buy anything I don't need, nor do I buy the latest-greatest toys.  Live minimal, save maximal.  Sell your shit, be brutally honest with your parents, pay off your debts.  When you do that, you will breath better, sleep better, feel better and then you can save better.  Your kids will thank you, far more than you think.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 11:50:12 AM
Just to be clear though, I didn't leave those items out (example; taxes).

They're right there in the case study.

People just didnt see them for whatever reason.

Yes, you mentioned $9K in taxes.  I myself missed that, and apologized for doing so.  I still owe you a careful re-read of the case study details, which I should be able to do later tonight.

The reality, however, was that it was ~$11K in delinquent taxes, and another ~$4K in current taxes, for a total of ~$15K.

The higher amount, and the nature of the tax as delinquent or current, make a difference in how they should be handled. 

Delinquent taxes can get your house taken away today; failure to pay current taxes might get your house taken away next year, but not today.

See the difference?  See why it's important for us to know these things so we can give solid advice?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 17, 2017, 11:51:30 AM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, it's not consequential and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"

For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.

Well, of course it's worth bringing up -- you have $100K in equity (what, $80K after selling costs?) sitting there earning you 0%, while you are paying 18-25% on your CCs, can't afford to pay property taxes/replace the roof/insure your other rental, and owe the IRS $40K.  Perhaps it's worth revisiting the arrangements with your in-laws.  Or you can move in there and rent/sell your current place to free yourself from the mortgage.  Or. . . .
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 11:52:22 AM
Just to be clear though, I didn't leave those items out (example; taxes).

They're right there in the case study.

People just didnt see them for whatever reason.

Yes, you mentioned $9K in taxes.  I myself missed that, and apologized for doing so.  I still owe you a careful re-read of the case study details, which I should be able to do later tonight.

The reality, however, was that it was ~$11K in delinquent taxes, and another ~$4K in current taxes, for a total of ~$15K.

The higher amount, and the nature of the tax as delinquent or current, make a difference in how they should be handled. 

Delinquent taxes can get your house taken away today; failure to pay current taxes might get your house taken away next year, but not today.

See the difference?  See why it's important for us to know these things so we can give solid advice?

Fair enough.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ShoulderThingThatGoesUp on January 17, 2017, 11:54:27 AM
If everything else collapses your creditors will come after your equity in that other house, so the people who live there are involved even if they don't want to be.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 11:55:00 AM
I am guessing it is this pride at your degrees and intelligence that is standing in the way of your financial success.  Learn to listen to some people who may have been where you are but turned it around.  They may have degrees, too.  They may not.  But learn what you can from those who have succeeded in having high savings rates.

I am a junior-high dropout.  Yep, never went to high school or college, worked since I was 14 and am stupid as hell about math.  But my net worth (at last check) was almost $2M.  Yep, a dropout worth 2 Million and whose monthly expenses are just shy of  $900/month.  And I still put money away monthly too :).

How'd you do that??

Spill the beans.

Do you have a family? Single? High paying job?

None of the above.  I was kicked out when I was 14 (story for another time) , saw how badly my parents had managed money and was determined not to follow that path (they both died broke).  I had friends whose fathers were bankers and accountants who gave me very good money advice, which I follow to this day: "live like you are poorer than poor".  I made a career in the kitchen (I was a Chef), saved over half of what I made, invested wisely and didn't buy anything I didn't need.  I do own a house, which I paid off over 20 years ago and I just paid cash for a brand-new car, which I will keep for many years (probably for the rest of my life).  I still don't buy anything I don't need, nor do I buy the latest-greatest toys.  Live minimal, save maximal.  Sell your shit, be brutally honest with your parents, pay off your debts.  When you do that, you will breath better, sleep better, feel better and then you can save better.  Your kids will thank you, far more than you think.

I guess this is sort of a philosophical question, but what's the point of saving all that money if we only buy what we need?

I could probably cut our expenses to half of my salary if we only bought what we need need.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 11:55:47 AM
YOU HAVE ANOTHER RENTAL???

You know what, I'm out. This is ridiculous. You do realize that at this point nobody can take you serious anymore? You're acting like a little child here and occasionally, every couple of pages, you drop a bomb like this. You "forget" 40k IRS debt. You "forget" property tax debt. You "forget" to mention that in addition to house #1 and house #2 there's another house.

This is a total waste of time, and not worth any effort. At this point, I am beating the troll drum, and I think you're making all this up as we go. And even if this is all true and you're not making it up then you, sir, are the only person in here not realizing how frustrating trying to help you is.

Good luck. I'm out.

What?

I never forgot the IRS debt.

It has been part of this thread since day 1. People just didn't see it at the bottom of the post.

The only thing I didn't tell people about is the 2nd rental and I REGRET THAT I DID. There is NOTHING I can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change? It's like being mad that the sky is blue.

You never said you were 3 years delinquent in your taxes. You seemed to forget that part.

Yes I did.

Well, I said I was 2 years, because I honestly thought I was 2 years behind.

Then I looked it up and I was 3 years behind.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: a-scho on January 17, 2017, 11:56:23 AM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, it's not consequential and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"


For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.

Or, maybe if you rented to people who were not your in-laws you could generate MORE money, or sell it and make EVEN MORE THAN THAT!!! The in-laws could move in with you, watch the kids, while the wife gets a job.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 17, 2017, 11:56:38 AM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, it's not consequential and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"

For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.

Oh my gosh, Beatles! Could your family move in the 1,000 s.f. apartment, even temporarily? Then you could sell current house and rental property, and your wife would have some adult company nearby but not underfoot.

You've got a lot of moving parts. Imagine if you took two of them - your current house and your rental house - and *poof* did away with them.

It's a 1 bedroom apt. I really don't know how we would possibly make that work.

beatles, another MMM forum member named frugalparagon is doing it right now. Her two sons sleep in the bedroom, and she got a daybed that serves as couch during the day and bed at night. You could think of it as a complete reset, and put a deadline on how temporary you want it to be. So you could say by January 2018, you want to be out from under ALL the debt - credit cards, property taxes, IRS - ALL of it, and renting a two-bedroom apartment. But think about how your expenses would be reduced if you could just decide you want to make that work for a short period of time.

We moved from a 4200 s. f.house to a 1300 s.f. house in 2009. Because we had so much less space to work with, we had an estate sale and sold about 2/3 of all our stuff. I don't miss ANY of it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 11:57:39 AM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, it's not consequential and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"

For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.

How about they buy it from you?  They're not really doing you a favour by keeping 100k in equity locked up.

The reason they're renting it is because they can't buy a house.

(they have a couple hundred thousand due in back taxes and cant get a mortgage and even if they could buy a house cash the govt would come after it)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: charis on January 17, 2017, 11:58:33 AM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, it's not consequential and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"

For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.

Oh my gosh, Beatles! Could your family move in the 1,000 s.f. apartment, even temporarily? Then you could sell current house and rental property, and your wife would have some adult company nearby but not underfoot.

You've got a lot of moving parts. Imagine if you took two of them - your current house and your rental house - and *poof* did away with them.

It's a 1 bedroom apt. I really don't know how we would possibly make that work.

Of course you could make this work temporarily.  People quite literally do this all the time because they HAVE to.  There is a journal on here by a woman who moved into a one-bedroom apartment with her two children after a divorce.  You could take take care of all your problems and babysitters nearby when cabin fever sets in.  This is an absolute gift.  Take it, save up some money, and never go back to your old lifestyle.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BabyShark on January 17, 2017, 11:59:06 AM
I am guessing it is this pride at your degrees and intelligence that is standing in the way of your financial success.  Learn to listen to some people who may have been where you are but turned it around.  They may have degrees, too.  They may not.  But learn what you can from those who have succeeded in having high savings rates.

I am a junior-high dropout.  Yep, never went to high school or college, worked since I was 14 and am stupid as hell about math.  But my net worth (at last check) was almost $2M.  Yep, a dropout worth 2 Million and whose monthly expenses are just shy of  $900/month.  And I still put money away monthly too :).

How'd you do that??

Spill the beans.

Do you have a family? Single? High paying job?

None of the above.  I was kicked out when I was 14 (story for another time) , saw how badly my parents had managed money and was determined not to follow that path (they both died broke).  I had friends whose fathers were bankers and accountants who gave me very good money advice, which I follow to this day: "live like you are poorer than poor".  I made a career in the kitchen (I was a Chef), saved over half of what I made, invested wisely and didn't buy anything I didn't need.  I do own a house, which I paid off over 20 years ago and I just paid cash for a brand-new car, which I will keep for many years (probably for the rest of my life).  I still don't buy anything I don't need, nor do I buy the latest-greatest toys.  Live minimal, save maximal.  Sell your shit, be brutally honest with your parents, pay off your debts.  When you do that, you will breath better, sleep better, feel better and then you can save better.  Your kids will thank you, far more than you think.

I guess this is sort of a philosophical question, but what's the point of saving all that money if we only buy what we need?

I could probably cut our expenses to half of my salary if we only bought what we need need.

Been lurking but that's what you should be doing at this point.  All unnecessary spending should be cut at this point because your hair on fire debts are going to consume you.  Once you're debt free, my thought on saving all that money is so that you can live the life you want to at some point without needing to work.  Having the money to say "I'm going to take a month to sail down the coast" or "I want to take a year to do work I find fulfilling but maybe doesn't pay enough to buy my family dinner."  It's freedom.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BeanCounter on January 17, 2017, 11:59:07 AM
I am guessing it is this pride at your degrees and intelligence that is standing in the way of your financial success.  Learn to listen to some people who may have been where you are but turned it around.  They may have degrees, too.  They may not.  But learn what you can from those who have succeeded in having high savings rates.

I am a junior-high dropout.  Yep, never went to high school or college, worked since I was 14 and am stupid as hell about math.  But my net worth (at last check) was almost $2M.  Yep, a dropout worth 2 Million and whose monthly expenses are just shy of  $900/month.  And I still put money away monthly too :).

How'd you do that??

Spill the beans.

Do you have a family? Single? High paying job?

None of the above.  I was kicked out when I was 14 (story for another time) , saw how badly my parents had managed money and was determined not to follow that path (they both died broke).  I had friends whose fathers were bankers and accountants who gave me very good money advice, which I follow to this day: "live like you are poorer than poor".  I made a career in the kitchen (I was a Chef), saved over half of what I made, invested wisely and didn't buy anything I didn't need.  I do own a house, which I paid off over 20 years ago and I just paid cash for a brand-new car, which I will keep for many years (probably for the rest of my life).  I still don't buy anything I don't need, nor do I buy the latest-greatest toys.  Live minimal, save maximal.  Sell your shit, be brutally honest with your parents, pay off your debts.  When you do that, you will breath better, sleep better, feel better and then you can save better.  Your kids will thank you, far more than you think.

I guess this is sort of a philosophical question, but what's the point of saving all that money if we only buy what we need?

I could probably cut our expenses to half of my salary if we only bought what we need need.
Because then you can get to financial independence- no debt, and enough investments that their earnings cover what you need. Then you can either not work, or not work for money, or work and spend your money on toys and vacations- debt free.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: 1967mama on January 17, 2017, 12:02:05 PM

Oh my gosh, Beatles! Could your family move in the 1,000 s.f. apartment, even temporarily? Then you could sell current house and rental property, and your wife would have some adult company nearby but not underfoot.

You've got a lot of moving parts. Imagine if you took two of them - your current house and your rental house - and *poof* did away with them.
[/quote]

It's a 1 bedroom apt. I really don't know how we would possibly make that work.
[/quote]

Sorry if I've mucked up attributing the quotations correctly, but this part of all the varied conversations is morning led me to think of the 1000 sq ft apartment as a version of a Tiny House -- for a short stint while you get out of debt, as mentioned:

http://www.yesmagazine.org/happiness/tiny-house-living-how-two-families-made-it-work
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BeanCounter on January 17, 2017, 12:03:11 PM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, it's not consequential and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"

For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.

How about they buy it from you?  They're not really doing you a favour by keeping 100k in equity locked up.

The reason they're renting it is because they can't buy a house.

(they have a couple hundred thousand due in back taxes and cant get a mortgage and even if they could buy a house cash the govt would come after it)
Have them move into the one bedroom and you all move back into the house and sell the other two to fix the debt.
Is the issue your pride? I see a theme here, you pay for lunch for your coworkers so you look like the rich guy, and you let your in-laws live in a house that you have $100k in equity tied up in so you can save them from their financial problems. Again you look like the rich guy. Meanwhile you are up to your eyeballs in debt.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 12:03:59 PM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, it's not consequential and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"

For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.

How about they buy it from you?  They're not really doing you a favour by keeping 100k in equity locked up.

The reason they're renting it is because they can't buy a house.

(they have a couple hundred thousand due in back taxes and cant get a mortgage and even if they could buy a house cash the govt would come after it)

So I see why it would be hard to talk to your parents.  It would go like this:

"Mom and Dad - I know you have sunk a fortune into this house for us - but we have all of our available cash tied up in a house the wife's family is using.  I'm sorry about your loss - but we need to sell this to get a handle on our debts." 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 12:04:54 PM


Of course you could make this work temporarily.  People quite literally do this all the time because they HAVE to.  There is a journal on here by a woman who moved into a one-bedroom apartment with her two children after a divorce.  You could take take care of all your problems and babysitters nearby when cabin fever sets in.  This is an absolute gift.  Take it, save up some money, and never go back to your old lifestyle.

Where does everyone sleep!?!?

Either way, would have to wait until August at the minimum for the tenants lease to be up.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 17, 2017, 12:05:04 PM
I am guessing it is this pride at your degrees and intelligence that is standing in the way of your financial success.  Learn to listen to some people who may have been where you are but turned it around.  They may have degrees, too.  They may not.  But learn what you can from those who have succeeded in having high savings rates.

I am a junior-high dropout.  Yep, never went to high school or college, worked since I was 14 and am stupid as hell about math.  But my net worth (at last check) was almost $2M.  Yep, a dropout worth 2 Million and whose monthly expenses are just shy of  $900/month.  And I still put money away monthly too :).

How'd you do that??

Spill the beans.

Do you have a family? Single? High paying job?

None of the above.  I was kicked out when I was 14 (story for another time) , saw how badly my parents had managed money and was determined not to follow that path (they both died broke).  I had friends whose fathers were bankers and accountants who gave me very good money advice, which I follow to this day: "live like you are poorer than poor".  I made a career in the kitchen (I was a Chef), saved over half of what I made, invested wisely and didn't buy anything I didn't need.  I do own a house, which I paid off over 20 years ago and I just paid cash for a brand-new car, which I will keep for many years (probably for the rest of my life).  I still don't buy anything I don't need, nor do I buy the latest-greatest toys.  Live minimal, save maximal.  Sell your shit, be brutally honest with your parents, pay off your debts.  When you do that, you will breath better, sleep better, feel better and then you can save better.  Your kids will thank you, far more than you think.

I guess this is sort of a philosophical question, but what's the point of saving all that money if we only buy what we need?

I could probably cut our expenses to half of my salary if we only bought what we need need.

So you don't end up living on the street?  Not everyone has a backstop of parents who can provide a safe place to land if everything goes into the shitter. 

Or maybe you want to send your kids to college.  Or be able to retire at 45 or 50 or 60, instead of keeling over at your desk at 65 or 70 or 80.  Or be able to afford to have a spouse SAH with kids. 

Your question is not a rhetorical one to just about everyone here.  It is the key question that we all ask ourselves, because it guides every single choice. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Khaetra on January 17, 2017, 12:09:53 PM
I am guessing it is this pride at your degrees and intelligence that is standing in the way of your financial success.  Learn to listen to some people who may have been where you are but turned it around.  They may have degrees, too.  They may not.  But learn what you can from those who have succeeded in having high savings rates.

I am a junior-high dropout.  Yep, never went to high school or college, worked since I was 14 and am stupid as hell about math.  But my net worth (at last check) was almost $2M.  Yep, a dropout worth 2 Million and whose monthly expenses are just shy of  $900/month.  And I still put money away monthly too :).

How'd you do that??

Spill the beans.

Do you have a family? Single? High paying job?

None of the above.  I was kicked out when I was 14 (story for another time) , saw how badly my parents had managed money and was determined not to follow that path (they both died broke).  I had friends whose fathers were bankers and accountants who gave me very good money advice, which I follow to this day: "live like you are poorer than poor".  I made a career in the kitchen (I was a Chef), saved over half of what I made, invested wisely and didn't buy anything I didn't need.  I do own a house, which I paid off over 20 years ago and I just paid cash for a brand-new car, which I will keep for many years (probably for the rest of my life).  I still don't buy anything I don't need, nor do I buy the latest-greatest toys.  Live minimal, save maximal.  Sell your shit, be brutally honest with your parents, pay off your debts.  When you do that, you will breath better, sleep better, feel better and then you can save better.  Your kids will thank you, far more than you think.

I guess this is sort of a philosophical question, but what's the point of saving all that money if we only buy what we need?

I could probably cut our expenses to half of my salary if we only bought what we need need.

And that's what you need to do.  Having the money I have allows me to DO things, like replace the roof or call the plumber without worrying if I have enough to cover it.  Having that money allows me to help my son go to college with minimal debt.  Having that money allows me to pay for health insurance and if I get sick I can cover what insurance doesn't without worry.  I do spend on fun things, like travel, but I don't buy things just for the sake of buying them.  Knowing I have that money makes me feel secure.  I bet if you asked your wife if she feels secure she would probably say no. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 12:11:36 PM
For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.
  That's HUGE, The Beatles, HUGE!

You left out a major part of your situation that affects:

Assets
Liabilities
Net Worth
Risk
Cash Flow

This changes everything!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Mmm_Donuts on January 17, 2017, 12:12:02 PM
To everybody offering suggestions so far in this thread, and who are still ok doing so, I admire your saint-like patience. I'm out.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 12:12:59 PM


Of course you could make this work temporarily.  People quite literally do this all the time because they HAVE to.  There is a journal on here by a woman who moved into a one-bedroom apartment with her two children after a divorce.  You could take take care of all your problems and babysitters nearby when cabin fever sets in.  This is an absolute gift.  Take it, save up some money, and never go back to your old lifestyle.

Where does everyone sleep!?!?



Either way, would have to wait until August at the minimum for the tenants lease to be up.

The kids sleep in sleeping bags in a an area you set aside for them - or in a corner of your room.  A 1000 sf apartment is huge for one bedroom.  If it has a dining room and a breakfast room - turn the dining room into their bedroom and curtain it off.  It is quite doable.  Make sure your wife goes to work and then the in-laws can do the day care as part of their living arrangements.  Get creative.  99% of the world sleeps with large families in a fraction of that space.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: charis on January 17, 2017, 12:14:20 PM


Of course you could make this work temporarily.  People quite literally do this all the time because they HAVE to.  There is a journal on here by a woman who moved into a one-bedroom apartment with her two children after a divorce.  You could take take care of all your problems and babysitters nearby when cabin fever sets in.  This is an absolute gift.  Take it, save up some money, and never go back to your old lifestyle.

Where does everyone sleep!?!?

Either way, would have to wait until August at the minimum for the tenants lease to be up.

Put the kids in the bedroom and you two sleep in the living room on a daybed or futon (or vice versa, but I would want the kids to be contained in a bedroom).  Send the kids to the big house for a sleepover once a week.  You will be so much better off for it. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 17, 2017, 12:14:43 PM


Of course you could make this work temporarily.  People quite literally do this all the time because they HAVE to.  There is a journal on here by a woman who moved into a one-bedroom apartment with her two children after a divorce.  You could take take care of all your problems and babysitters nearby when cabin fever sets in.  This is an absolute gift.  Take it, save up some money, and never go back to your old lifestyle.

Where does everyone sleep!?!?

Either way, would have to wait until August at the minimum for the tenants lease to be up.

See my earlier post, beatles. The two kids sleep in the bedroom and the mom sleeps on a daybed that she uses as a couch during the day. In your case, is one of your couches a sleep sofa? There you go - you and your wife sleep in the living room, then make the bed back into a couch for daytime.

We're talking about using this as financial boot camp. No, it wouldn't be super comfortable. But I feel like you are not uncomfortable enough yet. Compared to your wife's deadbeat relatives, you still look pretty good. But your ship is sinking just the same, beatles. At the rate you're going, you're about a year or maybe two from being the relatives who can't buy a house because the banks/creditors/collection agencies/tax collectors are after them.

Wouldn't you rather squeeze into a small apartment on a property you already own than flee from the financial vultures that will surely start circling soon?

So, wait, the family members are living in the house - who is living in the apartment now? Someone with a leas until August? Okay. It's January. Make your plan around moving into the apartment in August.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 12:15:51 PM
Quote from: The beatles link=topic=66587.msg1386336#msg1386336 date=1484679300I
guess this is sort of a philosophical question, but what's the point of saving all that money if we only buy what we need?

I could probably cut our expenses to half of my salary if we only bought what we need need.

THEN DO IT!

Cutting your expenses to half your salary means retirement in 17 years.

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/13/the-shockingly-simple-math-behind-early-retirement/
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 12:16:06 PM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, it's not consequential and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"

For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.

How about they buy it from you?  They're not really doing you a favour by keeping 100k in equity locked up.

The reason they're renting it is because they can't buy a house.

(they have a couple hundred thousand due in back taxes and cant get a mortgage and even if they could buy a house cash the govt would come after it)
Have them move into the one bedroom and you all move back into the house and sell the other two to fix the debt.
Is the issue your pride? I see a theme here, you pay for lunch for your coworkers so you look like the rich guy, and you let your in-laws live in a house that you have $100k in equity tied up in so you can save them from their financial problems. Again you look like the rich guy. Meanwhile you are up to your eyeballs in debt.

The reason we moved out is because we can't pay the mortgage on that place.

How would moving back in help the problem?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 12:18:18 PM
For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.
  That's HUGE, The Beatles, HUGE!

You left out a major part of your situation that affects:

Assets
Liabilities
Net Worth
Risk
Cash Flow

This changes everything!

I really don't see how this changes anything at all.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 12:22:23 PM
For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.
  That's HUGE, The Beatles, HUGE!

You left out a major part of your situation that affects:

Assets
Liabilities
Net Worth
Risk
Cash Flow

This changes everything!

I really don't see how this changes anything at all.

The beatles,

You are playing with me, right?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Allie on January 17, 2017, 12:23:10 PM
I go to sleep and this things goes crazy!

I never said you were stupid.  It's easy to forget that the internet means you don't get to know how I communicate IRL.  I should have included smileys or something...IRL, I'm about as innocuous as you can get.  :-)  However, degrees, intelligence, and privledge (more smileys as I have a shit ton of these too) go hand in hand with over confidence.  My degrees have nothing to do with math, but I get to be the family CFO and we paid off six figures of debt and built up a seven figure NW. 

Not wanting to sell the rentals because they are tied in some way to family is something I can get behind.  Not because it is sound math, but because there is more to life than math.  Just be honest with yourself that you are paying a premium to maintain these relationships in this way.  If you make the conscious choice to extend your debt repayment, then that's up to you, but just know that's what you are doing. 

If the rentals are that valuable to you and non negotiable, then you need to fix the roof and get some insurance.  High interest rates suck, but having a rental with people living there that is all new and completely uninsured would keep me up at night.  I'm somewhat surprised that NY landlord tenant laws don't address the need for adequate insurance. 

Since you won't sell the rentals, will you sell the car and buy a small, older vehicle?  Take the cash from the car and your lunch out/car payment/lower grocery bill to get a roof, get the insurance, then attack the debt knowing that you will only be able to pay a few thousand a month and just be secure knowing that this will likely stretch on for a couple years at minimum. 

Oh my gosh, 31 replies while I type this.  I can't keep up!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 17, 2017, 12:26:35 PM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, it's not consequential and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"

For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.

How about they buy it from you?  They're not really doing you a favour by keeping 100k in equity locked up.

The reason they're renting it is because they can't buy a house.

(they have a couple hundred thousand due in back taxes and cant get a mortgage and even if they could buy a house cash the govt would come after it)
Have them move into the one bedroom and you all move back into the house and sell the other two to fix the debt.
Is the issue your pride? I see a theme here, you pay for lunch for your coworkers so you look like the rich guy, and you let your in-laws live in a house that you have $100k in equity tied up in so you can save them from their financial problems. Again you look like the rich guy. Meanwhile you are up to your eyeballs in debt.

The reason we moved out is because we can't pay the mortgage on that place.

How would moving back in help the problem?

You live in the apartment. You rent out the house. Maybe you rent it to deadbeat relatives, or maybe you tell the deadbeat rels to take a hike and rent it out for market rate to someone else.

In the meantime, you've sold both the rental property and the current house, paid off your debts, and cut your expenses by probably two-thirds or three-quarters.

I'm seeing the apartment as a free housing opportunity for you. One you already have available within a short period of time (8 months isn't very long, as far as these things go). You could take advantage of that free (or at a minimum markedly reduced cost) housing, pay what you owe, and get your feet under you. Maybe then you could move back in the nice house that you really liked before you had to sell it because you couldn't afford it you moved out of it and rented it to deadbeat relatives while you took on another mortgage that you can't really afford.*

Living in that house again could be your carrot.

*Edited for accuracy.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 12:28:30 PM
I own over half a million dollars of real estate in three different properties. I live in one, which does not have much equity.  I rent out the other two.  One is a low budget home that nets a slight positive.  The other has a studio apt. and a main house, both rented, but I am breaking even.  I put family there to help them.

I have roughly $150k of equity in these properties.

Meanwhile, my hair is on fire.  I do not have a lot of debt, but I cannot service it.  Lots of it is in the high 20s percent.  Property tax is at 18%.  The monthly payments are killing me, even though the debt, all together, is far less than my assets.  You see, I have actual net worth.  Lots of it.

What should I do?

It's out of my control.



* * *


Still think it changes nothing?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 17, 2017, 12:30:06 PM

I guess this is sort of a philosophical question, but what's the point of saving spending all that money if we only can't buy what we need?


PS -- I fixed that for you
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 12:32:55 PM
The beatles,

Sell two of the three properties.

Your problems will be solved at the closing table, or within 24 hours (however long it takes you to mail the payoffs to each creditor).

I no longer understand your self imposed problems.

You have all the assets needed to wipe out the debts and do it now.

Yes, it changes everything.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 12:35:34 PM
You are giving quite a gift to your wife's family if they are living there rent free.

If you had renters there, what would that house rent for?

Let's say the main house would rent for $1500/month, and the apartment for $500/month.  (Numbers may not be right for your area, but just for the sake of example let's use them.)  This is $2000/month, or $24K a year in gross income that you could be making, but aren't.

Can you really afford to give your wife's family $24K a year, at the expense of your own household?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 12:36:43 PM
You are giving quite a gift to your wife's family if they are living there rent free.

If you had renters there, what would that house rent for?

Let's say the main house would rent for $1500/month, and the apartment for $500/month.  (Numbers may not be right for your area, but just for the sake of example let's use them.)  This is $2000/month, or $24K a year in gross income that you could be making, but aren't.

Can you really afford to give your wife's family $24K a year, at the expense of your own household?
  LOL!  You are going to keep playing this game with him, Zoot???  Good luck. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 12:38:39 PM
The beatles,

Sell two of the three properties.

Your problems will be solved at the closing table, or within 24 hours (however long it takes you to mail the payoffs to each creditor).

I no longer understand your self imposed problems.

You have all the assets needed to wipe out the debts and do it now.

Yes, it changes everything.

To be clear, this solution within 24 hours of closing even means you can keep your current house, both cars (now paid off!) and all the pricy toys and crap that are clogging up your garage so full you cannot even park in it.  You can keep all the furniture, too.

You know what?

There will even be enough left over to splurge for a fourth television.  A really nice one.

Good luck with the sales.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: With This Herring on January 17, 2017, 12:39:56 PM
You act like paying off debt takes study time.

I had to follow-up on this quote, as it proves my point that your head is in the clouds about the situation at hand.

Paying off debt is actually a very small part of the problem you are facing!  You have far greater issues that you should also be addressing, like learning how to set up & live on a budget and why your wife uses shopping as a coping mechanism.

I find it interesting that you mention this about Paul Graham in your blog...
"He is brilliant, brilliant. Transcending higher education status quo, brilliant. And because of this, or perhaps forced by this, I read his blog and study his advice as if they are the last written words of wisdom on earth."

So you are willing to study this guy's words for your side venture, BUT you don't think your financial situation requires study time???

We already did.

Budget set up on Mint and everything.

Next?

When you give dismissive answers like this, it seems like you are not taking us seriously.  Remember, a case study starts off with a large list of a sorts of information.  We have analyzed that information and given feedback.  Now, as time goes on, your answers for how you are improving things should include more information.  Not just "we set up a budget," but "Wife and I set up a budget, here it is! [massive list of budget info]  We think it's good as-is, but tell us if you see anything we missed or forgot to cut!"

Paying off debt does take study time.  It is not the simple "write a check to CC #1 for $50;" it is changing your mindset toward money and spending.  Though you guys have made some good progress already, it has only been a few days since you posted the case study.  Learning to optimize and reduce your spending on all areas of your life is going to take a LONG time.  We want you to spend your spare time - when you are not working at your job, cooking with your wife, or playing with your kids - to be spent reading books on frugality and on investing.  We want you to get immersed in this non-consumer mindset.  It is REALLY HARD to change your habits and patterns of behavior in the long-term, so we are doing what we can to encourage that.  We want your mindset to change so that you don't backslide, buy something big, and in one day destroy the past month of progress toward freedom from your crushing debts.

I have always been frugal, but I have spent the past few years learning to cook more and more new and interesting foods so we go to restaurants less, learning to meal plan, making a grocery price book, and saving our household grocery money.  I have spent a lot of time learning where to find the best and cheapest thrift store clothes and how to patch DBF's work jeans so that they are wearable for more than a couple months.  I have spent a lot of time comparison shopping online for the big things that we do need to buy, so when we must purchase them we get the best deals possible.  I am sure that many other posters on these forums would be able to tell you similar stories.

In your first post, you note that the rental brings in 1100$ per month
You then posted that the expenses were 130$ for the HELOC and 375$ for taxes, bringing it to a net of 595$.
Do you have any insurance on the property?

Insurance dropped us because of the roof.

Oh wow, that's really scary.  It's nice that the rental has all new stuff, but a tree falling on the house with no insurance could cost you tens of thousands and mean that you lose your renter.  A fire could leave you with just the land.  If someone trips, falls, and breaks their back on your property, you could be sued for huge medical costs and damages.  Things get damaged and broken, so I think most landlords have a maintenance budget built into their figures no matter how new the property is.




What about this:
1) Sell current house.
2) Sell roof-issue rental house.
3) Call wife's parents "Hey, do you want to save money?"  Your family moves into big house with wife's parents, splitting costs, keeping detached apartment rented out.
OR
1) Sell $100K equity house
2) Sell roof-issue rental house.
3) Have wife's parents move in with you into your current house and pay rent there.
OR
Sell all three houses, rent a smaller, different house where your family and wife's parents can live until you all get your financial issues in order.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyMuMu on January 17, 2017, 12:40:20 PM
It is absolutely doable for a family of four to live in a one-bedroom apartment. We did just that when our kids were 3 and 1. Actually, it wasn't even a full apartment--it was an extended stay hotel that we got a good rate with. Kids slept in a pack and play and on the fold out couch. We slept in the bedroom. Kids napped in the bedroom during the day. We had no oven and only two burners. The crock pot was my friend. That was for four months when on sabbatical. Could have lived like that for at least two years if we had to. It would certainly kill the shopping habit--no where to put useless stuff!

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 12:42:17 PM
LOL!  You are going to keep playing this game with him, Zoot???  Good luck.

I just keep hoping somehow I will find the magic words that will trigger the epiphany.   :) 


Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 17, 2017, 12:42:22 PM
Your deadbeat in laws are scamming you just as they are scamming the tax man.  What you say to them is "Sorry. [That bit's a lie, but you are being polite here.]  I need to take the equity out of this house, as I can't afford not to have a return on it.  I'm putting the house on the market and you need to leave.  If you still want to rent from me, I'm willing to give notice to my tenants in [rental house] and you can move in there for a rent of $600 a month.  If not, good luck finding your new home".  Then you call up an estate agent and put it on the market, pronto.  If there are renters in the annex (who are presumably paying rent to your deadbeat in laws, which is part of the in laws' scam), you look at ways to get them out before August, including an offer of payment of a thousand or so if they vacate at closing.  That gives you $100k in equity which sorts all your problems.

You urgently need to talk to an expert insurance agent about getting the rental insured.  It should be possible to get limited cover, eg for fire damage and occupier's liability but excluding water/storm damage.  That would mitigate the worst of the risk you are currently carrying.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 17, 2017, 12:46:58 PM
I think the deadbeat relatives are paying rent on that $300K house. Otherwise, he'd have lost it already.

That's why his family moving into the apartment when the tenants' lease is up makes such beautiful sense to me.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 12:47:13 PM
What about this:
1) Sell current house.
2) Sell roof-issue rental house.
 . . .
OR
1) Sell $100K equity house
2) Sell roof-issue rental house.
. . .
OR
Sell all three houses, rent a smaller, different house where your family and wife's parents can live until you all get your financial issues in order.

LOL! 

We'll see.

The answer for a guy with over half a million in assets that are not producing income and just a small fraction of that in debt SOME OF WHICH COULD WIPE HIM OUT is to sell some of the assets and get rid of the super risky, high interest debt.

The beatles has to know this.

Sell two of the three properties.  All of the fires are immediately extinguished.

Then you can "easily" save half your income, as you suggested above, The beatles.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 12:47:46 PM
I think the deadbeat relatives are paying rent on that $300K house. Otherwise, he'd have lost it already.
  Nope.  They are "covering costs," according to The Beatles.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BabyShark on January 17, 2017, 12:50:39 PM
I think the deadbeat relatives are paying rent on that $300K house. Otherwise, he'd have lost it already.
  Nope.  They are "covering costs," according to The Beatles.

Does this mean they're paying the mortgage/HELOC?  I think that's how I read it and that The Beatles is saying it doesn't matter because it's the family's problem, not his.  They couldn't get a mortgage on their own, so they're essentially stepping in for Beatles.  The issue will become what happens if the family staying in the house can no longer pay those bills, it's not in their name, it's not their credit/assets that would be affected.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: OurTown on January 17, 2017, 12:51:02 PM
What about this:
1) Sell current house.
2) Sell roof-issue rental house.
 . . .
OR
1) Sell $100K equity house
2) Sell roof-issue rental house.
. . .
OR
Sell all three houses, rent a smaller, different house where your family and wife's parents can live until you all get your financial issues in order.

LOL! 

We'll see.

The answer for a guy with over half a million in assets that are not producing income and just a small fraction of that in debt SOME OF WHICH COULD WIPE HIM OUT is to sell some of the assets and get rid of the super risky, high interest debt.

The beatles has to know this.

Sell two of the three properties.  All of the fires are immediately extinguished.

Then you can "easily" save half your income, as you suggested above, The beatles.

Works for me.  Problem solved!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 17, 2017, 12:52:40 PM
I think the deadbeat relatives are paying rent on that $300K house. Otherwise, he'd have lost it already.
  Nope.  They are "covering costs," according to The Beatles.

Yes, I see the distinction. What I meant was that beatles wasn't paying the mortgage and the family then living there for free. The family is paying the mortgage/utilities - it's like rent, only he's not calling it that.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 12:53:33 PM
Does this mean they're paying the mortgage/HELOC?  I think that's how I read it and that The Beatles is saying it doesn't matter because it's the family's problem, not his.  They couldn't get a mortgage on their own, so they're essentially stepping in for Beatles.  The issue will become what happens if the family staying in the house can no longer pay those bills, it's not in their name, it's not their credit/assets that would be affected.
  You already know what will happen when the family can no longer pay the bills, BabyShark, and so does The beatles.  This whole thread has passed the silly point now.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 12:54:30 PM
You are giving quite a gift to your wife's family if they are living there rent free.

If you had renters there, what would that house rent for?

Let's say the main house would rent for $1500/month, and the apartment for $500/month.  (Numbers may not be right for your area, but just for the sake of example let's use them.)  This is $2000/month, or $24K a year in gross income that you could be making, but aren't.

Can you really afford to give your wife's family $24K a year, at the expense of your own household?

NO!!!!

They're not living there rent free.

They're paying the mortgage!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: With This Herring on January 17, 2017, 12:55:18 PM
I think the deadbeat relatives are paying rent on that $300K house. Otherwise, he'd have lost it already.
  Nope.  They are "covering costs," according to The Beatles.

I wonder how people with "a couple hundred thousand" in IRS debt are able to afford to "cover costs" on a house which beatles couldn't afford?  I wonder how far behind they have already let the mortgage and other expenses on that house get...
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 12:55:50 PM
Your deadbeat in laws are scamming you just as they are scamming the tax man.  What you say to them is "Sorry. [That bit's a lie, but you are being polite here.]  I need to take the equity out of this house, as I can't afford not to have a return on it.  I'm putting the house on the market and you need to leave.  If you still want to rent from me, I'm willing to give notice to my tenants in [rental house] and you can move in there for a rent of $600 a month.  If not, good luck finding your new home".  Then you call up an estate agent and put it on the market, pronto.  If there are renters in the annex (who are presumably paying rent to your deadbeat in laws, which is part of the in laws' scam), you look at ways to get them out before August, including an offer of payment of a thousand or so if they vacate at closing.  That gives you $100k in equity which sorts all your problems.

You urgently need to talk to an expert insurance agent about getting the rental insured.  It should be possible to get limited cover, eg for fire damage and occupier's liability but excluding water/storm damage.  That would mitigate the worst of the risk you are currently carrying.

His bad roof rental property has month to month renters.  They need to go.  Sell the car with equity.You can make it with one car until the big equity house sells.   Use the money to fix the roof and insure the small rental.  The renters are month to month so they can go.  Offer the wife's family the option of renting the small rental at market rate or finding housing on their own.  Sell the big equity house (most of the time you can even sell it with a tenant in the apartment).  Pay off ALL debt to everyone.  Put remainder in emergency fund.  Then you avoid the awkward discussion with your parents and your wife's family is housed.  Then your rental income improves because all of it except for taxes and insurance is money you can invest. But you must sell the car now to get the money to get the roof fixed immediately so you can get insurance. 

How is that for a good solution?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 12:56:18 PM
For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.
  That's HUGE, The Beatles, HUGE!

You left out a major part of your situation that affects:

Assets
Liabilities
Net Worth
Risk
Cash Flow

This changes everything!

I really don't see how this changes anything at all.

The beatles,

You are playing with me, right?

No, i'm not.

Are you saying it technically changes my overall numbers?

Ok, sure.

But my day to day life it changes nothing.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 12:57:22 PM
The beatles,

Sell two of the three properties.

Your problems will be solved at the closing table, or within 24 hours (however long it takes you to mail the payoffs to each creditor).

I no longer understand your self imposed problems.

You have all the assets needed to wipe out the debts and do it now.

Yes, it changes everything.

Think about what you're saying!!!

I cant just kick my wifes family to the curb.

Maybe youre OK with that, but I am not.

I'd prefer to stay married.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 12:58:05 PM
I think the deadbeat relatives are paying rent on that $300K house. Otherwise, he'd have lost it already.
  Nope.  They are "covering costs," according to The Beatles.

Yes, I see the distinction. What I meant was that beatles wasn't paying the mortgage and the family then living there for free. The family is paying the mortgage/utilities - it's like rent, only he's not calling it that.
  It's really not worth discussing.  This family living there is irresponsible, and he is taking on more risk to have them there.  The beatles is not in a position to take on more risk.  He has way too much financial risk already.

He also has six freakin' figures of equity in this property to tap by selling that place.

I see no point in discussing whether the family currently trying to cover costs is actually paying "rent" or, well, not.

I see why he hid this from us.

His solution was sitting there in front of him all the time. 

Can you imagine what this thread would have looked like if all assets/liabilities/cash flow had been disclosed in the original post?

He has over half a million in assets.  This "problem" is so easy to fix in his position that I am left laughing and shaking my head.  He only got this much discussion by hiding his assets from us.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 12:58:50 PM
The beatles,

Sell two of the three properties.

Your problems will be solved at the closing table, or within 24 hours (however long it takes you to mail the payoffs to each creditor).

I no longer understand your self imposed problems.

You have all the assets needed to wipe out the debts and do it now.

Yes, it changes everything.

Think about what you're saying!!!

I cant just kick my wifes family to the curb.

Maybe youre OK with that, but I am not.

I'd prefer to stay married.

What is wrong with this then?

His bad roof rental property has month to month renters.  They need to go.  Sell the car with equity.You can make it with one car until the big equity house sells.   Use the money to fix the roof and insure the small rental.  The renters are month to month so they can go.  Offer the wife's family the option of renting the small rental at market rate or finding housing on their own.  Sell the big equity house (most of the time you can even sell it with a tenant in the apartment).  Pay off ALL debt to everyone.  Put remainder in emergency fund.  Then you avoid the awkward discussion with your parents and your wife's family is housed.  Then your rental income improves because all of it except for taxes and insurance is money you can invest. But you must sell the car now to get the money to get the roof fixed immediately so you can get insurance. 

How is that for a good solution?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: aceyou on January 17, 2017, 01:00:26 PM
Beatles, with the two rentals, would it be accurate to say that you have a positive net worth?  If you could really quickly add up the assets vs liabilities with the 2nd rental included, I'd really appreciate seeing it. 

If you can lay that out there, then I'd like a chance to lay out a pretty simple plan that can get you squared away in way less than 8 months (disclaimer, it will likely involve you selling 3 things).  At that moment, this thread can close down and you can join the "getting to 100k net worth" thread in the throwing down the gauntlet section.   

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 01:01:26 PM
Beatles, with the two rentals, would it be accurate to say that you have a positive net worth?  If you could really quickly add up the assets vs liabilities with the 2nd rental included, I'd really appreciate seeing it. 

If you can lay that out there, then I'd like a chance to lay out a pretty simple plan that can get you squared away in way less than 8 months (disclaimer, it will likely involve you selling 3 things).  At that moment, this thread can close down and you can join the "getting to 100k net worth" thread in the throwing down the gauntlet section.   

I have laid that out:
What is wrong with this then?

His bad roof rental property has month to month renters.  They need to go.  Sell the car with equity.You can make it with one car until the big equity house sells.   Use the money to fix the roof and insure the small rental.  The renters are month to month so they can go.  Offer the wife's family the option of renting the small rental at market rate or finding housing on their own.  Sell the big equity house (most of the time you can even sell it with a tenant in the apartment).  Pay off ALL debt to everyone.  Put remainder in emergency fund.  Then you avoid the awkward discussion with your parents and your wife's family is housed.  Then your rental income improves because all of it except for taxes and insurance is money you can invest. But you must sell the car now to get the money to get the roof fixed immediately so you can get insurance. 

How is that for a good solution?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 01:01:34 PM
They're not living there rent free.

They're paying the mortgage!

Good point--my math is wrong on this one.

What you're giving them is the difference between the mortgage and the rental fee.  If your mortgage is $1200/month, and it would rent for $2000/month, you are giving them the difference ($800/month or $9600/year).

Still a generous gift which you can't afford to give. 

Not to mention the risk:  one missed payment and they will foreclose on YOUR house, and wreck YOUR credit.  They've already proven that they are not the best with managing money, so that's not far from the the realm of possibility.

Also, just a point to consider:  if this isn't your primary residence, property taxes on it will be higher than on your primary residence.  Be sure your PITI payments are enough to cover the higher amount.


Having said everything I've said, I'm with Malum Prohibitum and the others who are advising you to sell one or more of the properties.  You are putting yourself and your family at huge risk right now, and going into serious debt in the bargain.  Get out, while you still can.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 01:01:47 PM
The beatles,

Sell two of the three properties.

Your problems will be solved at the closing table, or within 24 hours (however long it takes you to mail the payoffs to each creditor).

I no longer understand your self imposed problems.

You have all the assets needed to wipe out the debts and do it now.

Yes, it changes everything.

Think about what you're saying!!!

I cant just kick my wifes family to the curb.

Maybe youre OK with that, but I am not.

I'd prefer to stay married.

LOL!

Yeah, let me know how your marriage goes with the financial decisions you are currently making.

Give us a break. 

YOU could not afford the mortgage, but your wife's family can.  Ahem, right?

So there is nowhere else for a family that can afford a mortgage that you cannot afford to go and live?  Ahem, right?  LOL!

Sell it.

They'll live.

Your marriage will survive. 

Seriously, is your wife holding your marriage hostage to this situation which is burying you in risky, high interest debt and tax liens?  I find that hard to believe.  If that is really true, then you two will be divorced within 5 years anyway.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 17, 2017, 01:02:39 PM
Your deadbeat in laws are scamming you just as they are scamming the tax man.  What you say to them is "Sorry. [That bit's a lie, but you are being polite here.]  I need to take the equity out of this house, as I can't afford not to have a return on it.  I'm putting the house on the market and you need to leave.  If you still want to rent from me, I'm willing to give notice to my tenants in [rental house] and you can move in there for a rent of $600 a month.  If not, good luck finding your new home".  Then you call up an estate agent and put it on the market, pronto.  If there are renters in the annex (who are presumably paying rent to your deadbeat in laws, which is part of the in laws' scam), you look at ways to get them out before August, including an offer of payment of a thousand or so if they vacate at closing.  That gives you $100k in equity which sorts all your problems.

You urgently need to talk to an expert insurance agent about getting the rental insured.  It should be possible to get limited cover, eg for fire damage and occupier's liability but excluding water/storm damage.  That would mitigate the worst of the risk you are currently carrying.

His bad roof rental property has month to month renters.  They need to go.  Sell the car with equity.You can make it with one car until the big equity house sells.   Use the money to fix the roof and insure the small rental.  The renters are month to month so they can go.  Offer the wife's family the option of renting the small rental at market rate or finding housing on their own.  Sell the big equity house (most of the time you can even sell it with a tenant in the apartment).  Pay off ALL debt to everyone.  Put remainder in emergency fund.  Then you avoid the awkward discussion talk with your parents and your wife's family is housed.  Then your rental income improves because all of it except for taxes and insurance is money you can invest. But you must sell the car now to get the money to get the roof fixed immediately so you can get insurance. 

How is that for a good solution?

That's a good solution, ddmesser! Move the deadbeat rels to your month-to-month lease rental, and let them cover those costs. Before you do that, though, you're going to want to fix the roof and get the house insured. Because relatives who don't hesitate to walk away from "a couple hundred thousand" in back taxes will not hesitate for a minute to sue you if they stub their toes in that rental.

But then you can sell your $100K equity house and pay off everything you owe! Yay! And you don't have to move into a 1000 s.f. apartment! Double yay!

I still think that low value rental is an albatross that will need to be dealt with eventually, but this is something you can start working on today: get that roof fixed and get that house insured. And give both the month-to-month renters and your deadbeat rels notice that things are changing as of March 1. Or April 1. Or May 1. They're CHANGING, is what I'm saying.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 17, 2017, 01:03:59 PM
He is giving them the gift of a place to live at the expense of his own financial well being and perhaps his ability to provide his kids (and his in-laws!) a place to live. Steep price.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyMuMu on January 17, 2017, 01:04:11 PM
beatles, I've been holding my tongue on this for a while but since you brought up the state of your marriage yourself, I'll bite. You know financial disagreements and problems are the #1 cause of divorce, right? And just take a look through these forums to see the havoc that divorce plays in your overall financial well being. You have young children and you sound like a caring father. I assume you want to be in their lives. Even before today, I've been worried that if you don't right this financial ship of yours ASAP, you're going to have some serious marriage problems soon. There's just too much stress not to.

Then you posted about your wife's unhappiness/loneliness being addressed by retail therapy. Then you posted that your broke in-laws (and if they owe $100K to the IRS they are broke no matter what their cash flow) have ensconced themselves on top of $100K of equity in your third home.

You aren't just in financial trouble, man. You are heading for some serious marital troubles if you aren't careful. It is for this reason I highly recommend doing one of the rip-the-band-aid-off solutions suggested that include selling cars/property and going for a full financial/family obligation reset. If you are in agreement, it will cement you as a couple.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: researcher1 on January 17, 2017, 01:06:59 PM
The beatles,

Sell two of the three properties.
Your problems will be solved at the closing table, or within 24 hours (however long it takes you to mail the payoffs to each creditor).
I no longer understand your self imposed problems.
You have all the assets needed to wipe out the debts and do it now.
Yes, it changes everything.

Think about what you're saying!!!
I cant just kick my wifes family to the curb.
Maybe youre OK with that, but I am not.
I'd prefer to stay married.

Where in that post did Malum say anything about "kicking your wife's family to the curb?"

Many poster have offered up several possibilities...
- Sell rental and current house, move into big house with in-laws
- Sell rental and current house, move into detached apartment of big house
- Sell rental and big house, have in-laws live with you in current house.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LittleWanderer on January 17, 2017, 01:07:34 PM
What is wrong with this then?

His bad roof rental property has month to month renters.  They need to go.  Sell the car with equity.You can make it with one car until the big equity house sells.   Use the money to fix the roof and insure the small rental.  The renters are month to month so they can go.  Offer the wife's family the option of renting the small rental at market rate or finding housing on their own.  Sell the big equity house (most of the time you can even sell it with a tenant in the apartment).  Pay off ALL debt to everyone.  Put remainder in emergency fund.  Then you avoid the awkward discussion with your parents and your wife's family is housed.  Then your rental income improves because all of it except for taxes and insurance is money you can invest. But you must sell the car now to get the money to get the roof fixed immediately so you can get insurance. 

How is that for a good solution?

This, this, this!  You have two families to house and three houses to do it in.  Sell the $300K house, and use the profits to pay everything off.  What in the world are you waiting for?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 01:09:45 PM
The beatles,

Sell two of the three properties.
Your problems will be solved at the closing table, or within 24 hours (however long it takes you to mail the payoffs to each creditor).
I no longer understand your self imposed problems.
You have all the assets needed to wipe out the debts and do it now.
Yes, it changes everything.

Think about what you're saying!!!
I cant just kick my wifes family to the curb.
Maybe youre OK with that, but I am not.
I'd prefer to stay married.

Where in that post did Malum say anything about "kicking your wife's family to the curb?"

Many poster have offered up several possibilities...
- Sell rental and current house, move into big house with in-laws
- Sell rental and current house, move into detached apartment of big house
- Sell rental and big house, have in-laws live with you in current house.

And here is another solution that only has him selling his car and big equity house while still housing wife's family in  a single family home:

His bad roof rental property has month to month renters.  They need to go.  Sell the car with equity.You can make it with one car until the big equity house sells.   Use the money to fix the roof and insure the small rental.  The renters are month to month so they can go.  Offer the wife's family the option of renting the small rental at market rate or finding housing on their own.  Sell the big equity house (most of the time you can even sell it with a tenant in the apartment).  Pay off ALL debt to everyone.  Put remainder in emergency fund.  Then you avoid the awkward discussion with your parents and your wife's family is housed.  Then your rental income improves because all of it except for taxes and insurance is money you can invest. But you must sell the car now to get the money to get the roof fixed immediately so you can get insurance. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 01:11:30 PM
Beatles, with the two rentals, would it be accurate to say that you have a positive net worth?  If you could really quickly add up the assets vs liabilities with the 2nd rental included, I'd really appreciate seeing it. 
  He has said that they are like this:

(A) Worth $300k, mortgage for $200k, so $100K

and

(B)  He would net $35k from selling the other after his delinquent taxes and HELOC.

Yeah, basically $135k and removes his delinquent tax problem, $25k HELOC, $200K mortgage, and $135,000, that's 1,350 100 dollar bills, which is a stack of $100 bills almost 6 inches thick.

Then he can take that six inch thick brick and pay off everything but the mortgage on the house he is living in.  This includes paying off his car note, his furniture, his credit cards, his IRS tax bill, everything.

Six inches of paper.  Does that help you see it?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 01:14:10 PM
beatles, I've been holding my tongue on this for a while but since you brought up the state of your marriage yourself, I'll bite. You know financial disagreements and problems are the #1 cause of divorce, right? And just take a look through these forums to see the havoc that divorce plays in your overall financial well being. You have young children and you sound like a caring father. I assume you want to be in their lives. Even before today, I've been worried that if you don't right this financial ship of yours ASAP, you're going to have some serious marriage problems soon. There's just too much stress not to.

Then you posted about your wife's unhappiness/loneliness being addressed by retail therapy. Then you posted that your broke in-laws (and if they owe $100K to the IRS they are broke no matter what their cash flow) have ensconced themselves on top of $100K of equity in your third home.

You aren't just in financial trouble, man. You are heading for some serious marital troubles if you aren't careful. It is for this reason I highly recommend doing one of the rip-the-band-aid-off solutions suggested that include selling cars/property and going for a full financial/family obligation reset. If you are in agreement, it will cement you as a couple.

The wife needs some outlets too.  Beatles - is her back incapable of getting in and out of a car to deliver pizza?  I'm assuming not.  Get her to work immediately for the time when you get home from work.  Then you watch the kids while she works. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MayDay on January 17, 2017, 01:14:31 PM
Suggestion:

No one else respond to this thread until Beatles either:

1. Meets with 3+ Realtors and gets their plan on how to sell the uninsured house ASAP, and posts their analysis of how much it will sell for, how to handle the roof, etc.

Or

2. * Posts how he is going to either borrow or cash flow to get a roof on the uninsured house himself in the next two weeks.

* I think 100% of us agree he should do 1, and that 2 is a collosally bad idea, but still better than continuing to let it be uninsured.

Really there is not point in further engagement without action on the uninsured house.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 17, 2017, 01:14:59 PM
OK, I'm going to go a little tangential here.  From these various posts, it looks to me like you just and your wife don't have -- and maybe never have had -- people to teach you good money habits.  I'm sure your parents and in-laws are very good, well-meaning people.  But your parents never taught you to stand on your own feet, and have repeatedly helped you, even when it didn't make financial sense to do so (e.g., a $120K investment in a house worth $80-90K; bailing you out of debt with no firm plan/idea of how to avoid getting back in it).  And your in-laws are now relying on you to support their lifestyle and make your 5-figure tax debt look normal by comparison.  Everyone around you seems to spend money as though you are all entitled to whatever you want, when you want it.

So I applaud you for sticking through this, because you're trying to go from basically kindergarten-level training to a Ph.D in Advanced Mustachianism.  And that is hard.  And maybe it is asking too much all at once.  Because you can't fix your financial problems without a fundamental change in your worldview.  If you want all of these changes to stick, you have to really believe that you must spend less than you earn, that necessities come before wants, that debt is abhorrent, and that FI is better than "stuff" at 25% interest. 

For now, I would suggest a ton of reading.   Start with The Millionaire Next Door to see what "real" millionaires live like.  Read all of MMM -- the articles, the forum, etc -- and the many, many other frugality bloggers.  And question everything that you believe to be true, about success, about what money is for, about what you really need, etc.  You are your own biggest enemy right now -- your expectations about what life is supposed to be, what you're entitled to, what matters and what doesn't.  And then play with your options -- don't write off any options, down to and including selling off everything.  You're a finance guy, so do spreadsheets, do projections, do alterantive budgets, so you can see in black and white what each choice will cost you.

Now, you can't do all this learning/retraining and ignore everything else; your house and hair are both on fire, so you do need to continue making every effort to cut your spending and bills.  But that alone won't get you there as long as your brain and training keep telling you that $100K in equity is meaningless, or that there's no point if you only buy what you really need-need, or that it's ok to go without insurance or paying the IRS, etc. etc. etc.  You are young, and you have the assets and the income and the brainpower to turn this puppy around ASAP; it's just your mindset that is getting in the way.  Which, again, seems completely natural since no one ever taught you otherwise.  But you need to find yourself some better money role models and keep challenging all of those assumptions.  If you do that, you really can fix this.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 01:15:40 PM
Where in that post did Malum say anything about "kicking your wife's family to the curb?"

Many poster have offered up several possibilities...
- Sell rental and current house, move into big house with in-laws
- Sell rental and current house, move into detached apartment of big house
- Sell rental and big house, have in-laws live with you in current house.

Even in this context, if he sells both rentals and offers them nowhere else to live, is that kicking them to the curb?  Keep in mind what he posted.  He moved because he could not afford the mortgage.  Now, he has not told us what it is, but it is more than his current mortgage.  His wife's family is paying this mortgage and all other costs of the property each month.

Now, think about that.

Is this some destitute family that is going to be homeless if he tells them, "Hey, guys, we knew this would not be forever.  Mrs. The beatles and I are going to be putting this home up for sale.  We just wanted to give you a heads up."

There are plenty of landlords in his area that will rent to these people for the cash they pay each month. 

There is absolutely no reason to think this is a choice between living in his house tying up his equity (and creating wear and tear) and being homeless.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 01:17:14 PM
2. * Posts how he is going to either borrow or cash flow to get a roof on the uninsured house himself in the next two weeks.

* I think 100% of us agree he should do 1, and that 2 is a collosally bad idea, but still better than continuing to let it be uninsured.

Really there is not point in further engagement without action on the uninsured house.
  Why?  Let the new owners insure it and put a new roof on it after they buy it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 01:19:18 PM
When you give dismissive answers like this, it seems like you are not taking us seriously.  Remember, a case study starts off with a large list of a sorts of information.  We have analyzed that information and given feedback.  Now, as time goes on, your answers for how you are improving things should include more information.  Not just "we set up a budget," but "Wife and I set up a budget, here it is! [massive list of budget info]  We think it's good as-is, but tell us if you see anything we missed or forgot to cut!"

Paying off debt does take study time.  It is not the simple "write a check to CC #1 for $50;" it is changing your mindset toward money and spending.  Though you guys have made some good progress already, it has only been a few days since you posted the case study.  Learning to optimize and reduce your spending on all areas of your life is going to take a LONG time.  We want you to spend your spare time - when you are not working at your job, cooking with your wife, or playing with your kids - to be spent reading books on frugality and on investing.  We want you to get immersed in this non-consumer mindset.  It is REALLY HARD to change your habits and patterns of behavior in the long-term, so we are doing what we can to encourage that.  We want your mindset to change so that you don't backslide, buy something big, and in one day destroy the past month of progress toward freedom from your crushing debts.

I didn't realize people saw that as dismissive.

I can definitely post my budget.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 01:19:55 PM
2. * Posts how he is going to either borrow or cash flow to get a roof on the uninsured house himself in the next two weeks.

* I think 100% of us agree he should do 1, and that 2 is a collosally bad idea, but still better than continuing to let it be uninsured.

Really there is not point in further engagement without action on the uninsured house.
  Why?  Let the new owners insure it and put a new roof on it after they buy it.

I keep saying this - but the proposed solution below would solve all of the Beatles purported issues nicely:
His bad roof rental property has month to month renters.  They need to go.  Sell the car with equity.You can make it with one car until the big equity house sells.   Use the money to fix the roof and insure the small rental.  The renters are month to month so they can go.  Offer the wife's family the option of renting the small rental at market rate or finding housing on their own.  Sell the big equity house (most of the time you can even sell it with a tenant in the apartment).  Pay off ALL debt to everyone.  Put remainder in emergency fund.  Then you avoid the awkward discussion with your parents and your wife's family is housed.  Then your rental income improves because all of it except for taxes and insurance is money you can invest. But you must sell the car now to get the money to get the roof fixed immediately so you can get insurance.
Modify message
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 01:21:19 PM
I didn't realize people saw that as dismissive.

I can definitely post my budget.
  I am not trying to be rude, The beatles, but fully one third or more of your posts are dismissive of one thing or another that somebody suggests.  It has been that way since the first page.  Most of us just take it in stride because it is the way newcomers here always react.  "I can't sell the car.  I owe more than it is worth."  Dismissive.  But we're used to it, because it takes time to acclimate to new ways of thinking.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 01:22:17 PM
2. * Posts how he is going to either borrow or cash flow to get a roof on the uninsured house himself in the next two weeks.

* I think 100% of us agree he should do 1, and that 2 is a collosally bad idea, but still better than continuing to let it be uninsured.

Really there is not point in further engagement without action on the uninsured house.
  Why?  Let the new owners insure it and put a new roof on it after they buy it.

I keep saying this - but the proposed solution below would solve all of the Beatles purported issues nicely:
His bad roof rental property has month to month renters.  They need to go.  Sell the car with equity.You can make it with one car until the big equity house sells.   Use the money to fix the roof and insure the small rental.  The renters are month to month so they can go.  Offer the wife's family the option of renting the small rental at market rate or finding housing on their own.  Sell the big equity house (most of the time you can even sell it with a tenant in the apartment).  Pay off ALL debt to everyone.  Put remainder in emergency fund.  Then you avoid the awkward discussion with your parents and your wife's family is housed.  Then your rental income improves because all of it except for taxes and insurance is money you can invest. But you must sell the car now to get the money to get the roof fixed immediately so you can get insurance.
Modify message
He's not being dismissive of you, ddmesser.  He is ignoring you.  There is a distinct difference.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 17, 2017, 01:24:10 PM



****
"the other rental"?   What?   You have two?

Yeah, but it's honestly not even worth getting into that whole backstory.

Now I'm thinking the T word. As explained time and time again, you can't get honest and useful help without the full picture.  Is this mommy and daddy's rental? What is it?

I'm refusing to respond to anyone who calls, or hints at calling me a troll.

I'm tired of it.

I have spent over a week on this forum, countless hours, PHOTOS, receipts, interest rates ... Eveything.

If people want to think i'm a troll - fine.

But I'm not going to respond to them.

Fair enough, but everyone in this thread is probably thinking it with you forgetting about other houses you own and to tell us details of your 3 years past due property tax. You don't find that suspicious when we ask you to lay it ALL out on the table and you don't?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: sonjak on January 17, 2017, 01:24:21 PM

I understand why people are saying you can't take a break - this is an emergency. Going back to the hair-on-fire metaphor, you can't be the fireman and decide in the midst of the fire - I'm going to just sit for ten minutes. Because the fire will get worse. I get that. But also - I get that you will need some down time. Even firemen battling raging wildfires take shifts.



Yes, firemen need to take breaks. But he is not a metaphorical fireman.....he's the person on fire. If you were literally on fire, would you sit down and take a ten minute break??
Jokes aside, ok he's not really on fire.....but the MMM community, at least me, would like to have him act as if he was. I want to hear screaming(oh gawd oh gawd OH GAWD!!!!!!!), running around in circles, swatting at himself maniacally, third degree burns on 90% of his body kind of behavior.
But, I am not getting that vibe. What I hear is, "Soooooooo, I have this SITUATION. It kind of sux. There are ways to get out of it.....mainly my parents money. I don't really want to go that route, cuz, well, I am thirty years old. You guys(MMM) seem to have your act together. Can I pick your brain for ideas?" Of course we oblige. "Ummmmmmm, I don't wanna do most of those things and even if I did, I want it to take less than nine months to reach my goal." After many face punches, "You guys are wrong, overreacting, getting up in my grill, implying that I'm mentally retarded." We rebuttal with our own arguments. "No, I'm right cuz of blah blah blah." No, you are wrong cuz of one, two, three, etc. "I've got it totally under control after one whole week!! Phew!!! The last few days have been INSANE. I think I have earned the right to spend some unwind time on my new blog/startup. Hun?, do we have any more of those tasty Skinny Cows left in the house? Oh, and bring me a soda too."
This is definitely the TLDR version of this thread.  :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 01:24:57 PM
2. * Posts how he is going to either borrow or cash flow to get a roof on the uninsured house himself in the next two weeks.

* I think 100% of us agree he should do 1, and that 2 is a collosally bad idea, but still better than continuing to let it be uninsured.

Really there is not point in further engagement without action on the uninsured house.
  Why?  Let the new owners insure it and put a new roof on it after they buy it.

I keep saying this - but the proposed solution below would solve all of the Beatles purported issues nicely:
His bad roof rental property has month to month renters.  They need to go.  Sell the car with equity.You can make it with one car until the big equity house sells.   Use the money to fix the roof and insure the small rental.  The renters are month to month so they can go.  Offer the wife's family the option of renting the small rental at market rate or finding housing on their own.  Sell the big equity house (most of the time you can even sell it with a tenant in the apartment).  Pay off ALL debt to everyone.  Put remainder in emergency fund.  Then you avoid the awkward discussion with your parents and your wife's family is housed.  Then your rental income improves because all of it except for taxes and insurance is money you can invest. But you must sell the car now to get the money to get the roof fixed immediately so you can get insurance.
Modify message
He's not being dismissive of you, ddmesser.  He is ignoring you.  There is a distinct difference.

Beatles - why are you ignoring me and the very obvious solution to all of your problems?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 17, 2017, 01:25:17 PM
There's a new twist every day!

Anyone want to take a guess at the next one?
$5 on another $100k debt somewhere that beatles intentionally didn't mention. Because, you know, it's not consequential and "there is NOTHING he can do about it. It's an impossible situation. Why bring up something you cant change?"

For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.

If you have 100k in equity you can tap into, it DOES matter!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 01:26:50 PM


What is wrong with this then?

His bad roof rental property has month to month renters.  They need to go.  Sell the car with equity.You can make it with one car until the big equity house sells.   Use the money to fix the roof and insure the small rental.  The renters are month to month so they can go.  Offer the wife's family the option of renting the small rental at market rate or finding housing on their own.  Sell the big equity house (most of the time you can even sell it with a tenant in the apartment).  Pay off ALL debt to everyone.  Put remainder in emergency fund.  Then you avoid the awkward discussion with your parents and your wife's family is housed.  Then your rental income improves because all of it except for taxes and insurance is money you can invest. But you must sell the car now to get the money to get the roof fixed immediately so you can get insurance. 

How is that for a good solution?

I think that is actually a very fair solution.

I hope you can understand that even though its fair, her family is not going to see it that way.

They're going to see it as an insult.

Us downgrading them from a 300k house with granite countertops, marble bathrooms and heated floors to a $75k rental.

I get how that sounds.

I get how ALL this sounds.

I feel like posters are mad at me because they wonder how I could be so stupid.

But i'm not stupid.

It's just a very difficult situation when its not even your family.

This is the type of situation that could tear a family apart.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ShoulderThingThatGoesUp on January 17, 2017, 01:30:04 PM
You need to have a serious conversation with your wife about how her family is taking advantage of her, and you by extension.

An after the kids are asleep kind of talk.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 17, 2017, 01:30:38 PM


What is wrong with this then?

His bad roof rental property has month to month renters.  They need to go.  Sell the car with equity.You can make it with one car until the big equity house sells.   Use the money to fix the roof and insure the small rental.  The renters are month to month so they can go.  Offer the wife's family the option of renting the small rental at market rate or finding housing on their own.  Sell the big equity house (most of the time you can even sell it with a tenant in the apartment).  Pay off ALL debt to everyone.  Put remainder in emergency fund.  Then you avoid the awkward discussion with your parents and your wife's family is housed.  Then your rental income improves because all of it except for taxes and insurance is money you can invest. But you must sell the car now to get the money to get the roof fixed immediately so you can get insurance. 

How is that for a good solution?

I think that is actually a very fair solution.

I hope you can understand that even though its fair, her family is not going to see it that way.

They're going to see it as an insult.

Us downgrading them from a 300k house with granite countertops, marble bathrooms and heated floors to a $75k rental.

I get how that sounds.

I get how ALL this sounds.

I feel like posters are mad at me because they wonder how I could be so stupid.

But i'm not stupid.

It's just a very difficult situation when its not even your family.

This is the type of situation that could tear a family apart.

You're going to be homeless soon if you don't do something. Packing your lunch every day isn't going to save you from financial disaster. You need to do something MORE.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 01:31:21 PM


What is wrong with this then?

His bad roof rental property has month to month renters.  They need to go.  Sell the car with equity.You can make it with one car until the big equity house sells.   Use the money to fix the roof and insure the small rental.  The renters are month to month so they can go.  Offer the wife's family the option of renting the small rental at market rate or finding housing on their own.  Sell the big equity house (most of the time you can even sell it with a tenant in the apartment).  Pay off ALL debt to everyone.  Put remainder in emergency fund.  Then you avoid the awkward discussion with your parents and your wife's family is housed.  Then your rental income improves because all of it except for taxes and insurance is money you can invest. But you must sell the car now to get the money to get the roof fixed immediately so you can get insurance. 

How is that for a good solution?

I think that is actually a very fair solution.

I hope you can understand that even though its fair, her family is not going to see it that way.

They're going to see it as an insult.

Us downgrading them from a 300k house with granite countertops, marble bathrooms and heated floors to a $75k rental.

I get how that sounds.

I get how ALL this sounds.

I feel like posters are mad at me because they wonder how I could be so stupid.

But i'm not stupid.

It's just a very difficult situation when its not even your family.

This is the type of situation that could tear a family apart.

No - it isn't.  If I asked somebody in my family to do this - they'd do it and be happy I was going to be able to come out sleeping at night.  If that house was good enough for you and your wife to live in - it is good enough for her family to live in. And if they want granite counter tops and heated floors - then they can go find those or install them at the rental at their costs. But you and your wife cannot afford to let them stay in your high end home anymore.  You are a second away from losing everything including the house they are living in.  It just takes one small incident at that uninsured rental for things to go sideways for you. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 17, 2017, 01:32:16 PM
Is your wife reading this thread? How about bringing that suggestion to her and having a heart-to-heart with her about the mess you are in, the several proposed solutions this thread has given you, and together choosing which one will work best for you? She needs to be honest with you and herself (and her family to some extent) how much this desire to keep her financially irresponsible parents living in absolute luxury is crippling your own financial situation and the security of your family. I'd be that most of us don't live in big houses with granite counter tops and heated floors and we (mostly) have large net worths or are well on our way to having it. As they used to say in the 90s, "reality bites". That is just how the situation is and you can't protect your in-laws from reality indefinitely because your boat is *thisclose* to sinking entirely and bringing everyone down with it, in-laws included.

You are a kind and generous person and reasonable people will see this if you lay the facts out. Offering to continue housing them is still generous. It is balancing the needs of your in-laws to mooch off of you due to their own poor decision making with your need to take care of your kids who are about to get put out on the street. Strike a balance.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 01:33:23 PM
They're not living there rent free.

They're paying the mortgage!

Good point--my math is wrong on this one.

What you're giving them is the difference between the mortgage and the rental fee.  If your mortgage is $1200/month, and it would rent for $2000/month, you are giving them the difference ($800/month or $9600/year).

Still a generous gift which you can't afford to give. 

Not to mention the risk:  one missed payment and they will foreclose on YOUR house, and wreck YOUR credit.  They've already proven that they are not the best with managing money, so that's not far from the the realm of possibility.

Also, just a point to consider:  if this isn't your primary residence, property taxes on it will be higher than on your primary residence.  Be sure your PITI payments are enough to cover the higher amount.


Having said everything I've said, I'm with Malum Prohibitum and the others who are advising you to sell one or more of the properties.  You are putting yourself and your family at huge risk right now, and going into serious debt in the bargain.  Get out, while you still can.

This is accurate.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 01:33:32 PM
They're going to see it as an insult.

Us downgrading them from a 300k house with granite countertops, marble bathrooms and heated floors to a $75k rental.
  So, you owe them a place with granite countertops and marble bathrooms and heated floors for how long, exactly?

For life?

If the answer is no, then you need to grow a pair.

They need to know nothing more than that you have run into some financial difficulty, and you need to sell the house.  You are giving them as much notice as you can possibly give them.

If they get an attitude, you can always file for eviction right away instead of waiting.

Gratitude is what you hoped for, I know, but look what you got instead.  Resentment.

It is time to grow up and handle your affairs.

You can't let your in-laws' resentment send your house of cards crashing down.

This was the same issue with your smaller rental house.  You do not want to sell it because you do not want to explain anything to your parents.  Well, stop getting yourself into the co-dependent entangling financial webs with family members, and you won't have any more of this uncomfortable unpleasantness.  But for now, you have to take care of yourself and your family.   Tell your wife that she and the kids come first, not these other family members.  Ask her if financial stability is important to her?  She'll understand.  Women hate the thought of being financially unstable.

And for what it's worth, I think the suggestion to move them into the smaller rental is a terrible one.  It is yet one more entangling financial web with co-dependent family members.  It is time to put a stop to that nonsense.

Sell both houses.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 01:35:28 PM
2. * Posts how he is going to either borrow or cash flow to get a roof on the uninsured house himself in the next two weeks.

* I think 100% of us agree he should do 1, and that 2 is a collosally bad idea, but still better than continuing to let it be uninsured.

Really there is not point in further engagement without action on the uninsured house.
  Why?  Let the new owners insure it and put a new roof on it after they buy it.

I keep saying this - but the proposed solution below would solve all of the Beatles purported issues nicely:
His bad roof rental property has month to month renters.  They need to go.  Sell the car with equity.You can make it with one car until the big equity house sells.   Use the money to fix the roof and insure the small rental.  The renters are month to month so they can go.  Offer the wife's family the option of renting the small rental at market rate or finding housing on their own.  Sell the big equity house (most of the time you can even sell it with a tenant in the apartment).  Pay off ALL debt to everyone.  Put remainder in emergency fund.  Then you avoid the awkward discussion with your parents and your wife's family is housed.  Then your rental income improves because all of it except for taxes and insurance is money you can invest. But you must sell the car now to get the money to get the roof fixed immediately so you can get insurance.
Modify message
He's not being dismissive of you, ddmesser.  He is ignoring you.  There is a distinct difference.

Why don't you just leave the thread?

You're being the opposite of helpful here.

I'm not ignoring anyone.

There is 1 of me and hundreds of you.

By the time I refresh the page there is 10 responses to my 1 post.

Its hard to answer them all!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 01:36:50 PM
Why don't you just leave the thread?

You're being the opposite of helpful here.
  I beg to differ.  Read my reply #1000, above.  If you still feel the same way, then I will be happy to leave your thread alone, as you wish.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 01:39:51 PM
Is your wife reading this thread? How about bringing that suggestion to her and having a heart-to-heart with her about the mess you are in, the several proposed solutions this thread has given you, and together choosing which one will work best for you? She needs to be honest with you and herself (and her family to some extent) how much this desire to keep her financially irresponsible parents living in absolute luxury is crippling your own financial situation and the security of your family. I'd be that most of us don't live in big houses with granite counter tops and heated floors and we (mostly) have large net worths or are well on our way to having it. As they used to say in the 90s, "reality bites". That is just how the situation is and you can't protect your in-laws from reality indefinitely because your boat is *thisclose* to sinking entirely and bringing everyone down with it, in-laws included.

You are a kind and generous person and reasonable people will see this if you lay the facts out. Offering to continue housing them is still generous. It is balancing the needs of your in-laws to mooch off of you due to their own poor decision making with your need to take care of your kids who are about to get put out on the street. Strike a balance.

My wife is very upset with this thread at this point.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 01:41:00 PM
Can we just ignore the 2nd house?

Go back to focusing on rental 1.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: UKMustache on January 17, 2017, 01:42:47 PM
My wife is very upset with this thread at this point.

Will she be more or less upset when you and your children are homeless?


*Added after reading this back to myself*
This comment is an extreme scenario, but I meant it to be. 

You're living on a knife edge financially and even a small loss of balance could be catastrophic, I really hope your wife can see this so that there isn't a follow on post in 6 or 12 months time when they come to repossess your house.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ysette9 on January 17, 2017, 01:44:08 PM
Quote
My wife is very upset with this thread at this point.

Yeah, I can understand that. I probably would be as well in her shoes. This is a TON to digest and we're proposing a LOT of changes. It takes time to assimilate, process your emotions, and give a chance for your brain to take back over. That is okay, let that happen.

But don't avoid the topic. You are in serious, serious trouble but you also, happily, have several relatively easy solutions to completely get you out of this massive volcano/hurricane/ticking time bomb so that you can then spend your mental energy learning new ways to cut down your spending.

Again, I do care and I think many others here do as well. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 01:44:22 PM
Can we just ignore the 2nd house?

Go back to focusing on rental 1.
  We can if you wish, but there will be no further point in anybody giving advice, then.  That's like asking if we could ignore the Van Gogh hanging above the fireplace, or the yacht your wife just purchased, or the large commercial building you own in Manhattan.

You are asking the mustachians to ignore the key to solving your financial problems so fast it would make your head spin.

I am not sure what more there would be to say.

Hey, you can cut out cable, maybe save 50 bucks a month, so your inlaws could keep over a hundred grand of equity locked up and cost you over ten grand a year in rent and how much in interest payments for the property tax and IRS debt and credit cards and . . .  well, you get the point.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: OurTown on January 17, 2017, 01:45:19 PM
I see 21 pages of very good, actionable, advice here.  Tone of voice is not the problem.  The posters here did not create your problems.  They are trying to help. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 01:45:27 PM
Why don't you just leave the thread?

You're being the opposite of helpful here.
  I beg to differ.  Read my reply #1000, above.  If you still feel the same way, then I will be happy to leave your thread alone, as you wish.

Malum - I think Beatles has some emotional baggage he's trying to work with here.  Sometimes that is hard.  That is why I offered what I did.  He's reluctant to let go of the bad roof rental because his parents have invested in it.  He's reluctant to kick his in-laws to the curb.  Some of us would have no problem with either of these.  The solution I proposed is a big - boy solution.  He's got to sit down with his wife and come to terms with the situation - including about her parents.  He's got to explain to his parents why his in-laws are moving into the rental house.  They have to to tell the in-laws what their options are.

These are hard steps - but they would ultimately get the Beatles on the road to FI - even with the in-laws renting the small house.  And maybe the small house will eventually be a good investment - but the solution I proposed at least makes it revenue positive for the Beatles.

But Beatles -you've got to do this.  You are out of options.  Your hair is not fire, the soles of your shoes are just about melted through.  Sit down with your wife now and find a way to solve this that doesn't require your in-laws living in a house with the $100K of equity you need to get out of debt and start working towards FI.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 17, 2017, 01:46:01 PM
They're going to see it as an insult.

Us downgrading them from a 300k house with granite countertops, marble bathrooms and heated floors to a $75k rental.

I get how that sounds.

I get how ALL this sounds.

Does your WIFE understand how it all sounds?

You are 100k in debt, at risk of losing the entire net worth of the first rental and paying as much as 25% interest on some of your debts.

You moved out of the McMansion because you were living beyond your means. So instead, you are financing her parents to live beyond their means because it would be "insulting" not to finance them to live in a way neither they nor you can afford.

You will argue they are paying their way, but no, they are in effect taking an interest free 100k loan from you at a time when you desperately need that 100k to protect your own ass(ets).

Further, you are prioritizing her parents' inflated lifestyle over your children's college. Is that okay with you? Is it okay with her?

By enabling her parents to live beyond their means instead of forcing them to deal with their financial problems, you're actually making things far worse for them and your entire family. They will continue to go further into debt and become more and more dependent on you and their expenses will only increase as they age.

The amount they are paying for the McMansion mortgage? What if they lived in a place without marble bathrooms, paid half the amount in rent as they are paying for your mortgage, and the excess that they save in lowered rent and lowered utilities went to pay off their delinquent taxes? What if that was the push they needed to be debt free in the next 10 years, so they don't spend the next 40 years being a burden on you - and causing you in turn to become a financial burden for your children and their future spouses?

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 01:46:32 PM
Can we just ignore the 2nd house?

Go back to focusing on rental 1.

No.  If they don't pay a bill or the mortgage because of something that happens - you will lose that house and a good portion of the $100K because that is how foreclosure works. Your family is on the cusp of going under and your wife would rather have her parents live in luxury than her kids have financial security?  If so - divorce her immediately. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 01:49:52 PM
He's got to explain to his parents why his in-laws are moving into the rental house.  They have to to tell the in-laws what their options are.
  They are probably paying close to $2000 in rent, utilities, property taxes and any other carrying costs.

Right, The beatles?

So why on earth should he move them to his other house?

Two grand a month can rent you a place almost anywhere.

I get it.  They like the place.   Your wife is upset.

The beatles has to have a serious talk with his wife about where they are headed and how they can fix it.

This will be nothing but a minor inconvenience for the inlaws.  They will have plenty of time to find another place.  The property is not likely to sell and close for months.

There is no reason to make this such a big deal, and certainly no reason to move them into another property he owns.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: aceyou on January 17, 2017, 01:50:05 PM
Beatles, with the two rentals, would it be accurate to say that you have a positive net worth?  If you could really quickly add up the assets vs liabilities with the 2nd rental included, I'd really appreciate seeing it. 

If you can lay that out there, then I'd like a chance to lay out a pretty simple plan that can get you squared away in way less than 8 months (disclaimer, it will likely involve you selling 3 things).  At that moment, this thread can close down and you can join the "getting to 100k net worth" thread in the throwing down the gauntlet section.   

I have laid that out:
What is wrong with this then?

His bad roof rental property has month to month renters.  They need to go.  Sell the car with equity.You can make it with one car until the big equity house sells.   Use the money to fix the roof and insure the small rental.  The renters are month to month so they can go.  Offer the wife's family the option of renting the small rental at market rate or finding housing on their own.  Sell the big equity house (most of the time you can even sell it with a tenant in the apartment).  Pay off ALL debt to everyone.  Put remainder in emergency fund.  Then you avoid the awkward discussion with your parents and your wife's family is housed.  Then your rental income improves because all of it except for taxes and insurance is money you can invest. But you must sell the car now to get the money to get the roof fixed immediately so you can get insurance. 

How is that for a good solution?

Yup, that was going to be my solution, except not worded as well as you were going to. 

So, it turns out Beatles doesn't actually have a money problem at all.  He has an allocation problem.  Here how I'm seeing his plan at the moment:

Step 1: Take out 4 loans (3 mortgages and auto loan) to get a boat load of money to spend.

Step 2: place: some of that equity into the houses/car (i.e, each one of those properties has positive equity.) 

Step 3: balance that by placing negative equity into boring things like taxes to the IRS and county and credit card companies. 

---------

So, the logical solution is to sell some of the things from step one, unlocking the equity from step 2, to pay off the debts in step 3.

Once that is done, He's still got a kick ass house to live in, no debts, and money in the bank.  He can then insta-join the group of savers on here working towards FI.

....

Or, we can continue to keep the equity COMPLETELY LOCKED UP in his real estate, and hope that the IRS, County, and CC companies are cool with this indefinitely.  Good luck with that.

Now that we have complete information, this is one of the simplest case studies on the forum. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LittleWanderer on January 17, 2017, 01:50:52 PM
Can we just ignore the 2nd house?

Go back to focusing on rental 1.

You want to ignore $100K? 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 17, 2017, 01:51:47 PM
Can we just ignore the 2nd house?

Go back to focusing on rental 1.

I'm sorry, sweetie. We can't ignore the 2nd house because the 2nd house is $100K worth of salvation. It's the IRS, the property taxes, the credit card debt, and your car loan all wrapped up in a shiny granite-countertopped package.

Focusing on the 2nd house is the best way for you to get to stay in your current home.

You're juggling knives, my friend. We're trying to get you to put two of them down. Ideally, you'd sell both rental 1 and the 2nd house. We've suggested other options, but that's the neatest from a financial perspective.

I see that you've got extended-family stress weighing you down on both shoulders: sunk costs from your parents in rental 1 and deadbeat relatives accustomed to a certain lifestyle on the other.

You can't worry about them. You don't have that luxury. You need to worry about your nuclear family. You. Your wife. Your kids. You need to do what is best for YOU.

In time, when this is all a dark cloud in your rearview mirror, maybe you can sit down with your parents and set up a payment plan to reimburse them for some of the funds they have infused you with over the past few years. They will appreciate the offer, and paying them back something will make you feel better. But that's for later. Today you need to be selfish.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 01:52:37 PM
You want to ignore $100K?
  LOL!  More than the property debt, IRS debt, credit card debt, and car debt put together.  Just ignore it, MSquared.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyMuMu on January 17, 2017, 01:54:14 PM
Your inlaws don't have to move into the other rental--it's just an option you can offer to them in case they are unable to secure another rental.

To Mrs. Beetles,

I want you to know that I am sincerely sorry if this thread upsets you or if we come across as being judgey. I can honestly say that I am very scared for you. As a SAHP, you have the MOST to lose from this entire situation--even more than your children. I am a SAHP as well, so don't think I'm downing your for that. But the fact is that we are the ones whose workplace value diminishes the longer we stay at home and away from the office. When there is a SAHP in the family it is so much more important to have sufficient savings and no debt. If your husband got in an accident and couldn't work for one, maybe two months, this entire financial house of cards would collapse nearly overnight. As Whoopi Goldberg said in "Ghost," "Maggie, you in danger,girl!" I can only imagine how awkward it will be to tell your folks that you need to sell the house they are living in, knowing full well they are in no position to purchase it themselves.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BlueHouse on January 17, 2017, 01:56:24 PM
I've skipped a lot of this thread because I've found it to just be annoying after a while.  I was terribly annoyed at many of the people giving advice because they were harping on the same things over and over.  And they were nagging to get accomplishments in pretty unreasonable amounts of time.  I felt like most of the mustachians who were so actively trying to help were really treating the beatles like a child. 

Then it finally dawned on me -  Mr. Beatles, you really are behaving like a child.  It's as if you want this attention and you get it.  You get yelled at, some good advice, but berated, and just when everyone is tuckered out of giving advice and it's your turn to do something, you say something outlandish and childish.  Like "just forget I said anything about it" or "I wish I never brought it up" or "oh yeah, i forgot about this [very important fact]" 

Beatles, I really don't mean this to belittle you, but it appears from all of your posts that you have allowed your parents to bail you out on a number of occasions and to pitch in on other occasions that most independent adults wouldn't accept.  And you seem to have a childlike quality about how you ask for and respond to advice.  I just need to ask, how involved are your parents in your day to day life?  Do they "tell" you what to do the same way that some of the posters on this thread have been "telling" you what to do, even going so far as outlining and numbering your next steps?  Do you live an independent life? 

In one post, you mentioned that you didn't want to accept your parents' money because you didn't want them "in your business".  But as long as they are giving you money, it IS their business. 

I find this whole thread tiresome because you are continuing to behave in this forum as you have with your parents and family -- irresponsible.  If you really want to make progress (and I do believe that you do), you need to change a few things about how you communicate and when you communicate and what actions you take and when.

About 5 pages ago, I wanted to yell out "Just ask your parents for the money and be done with it!" Now grow a set and man up or continue with this childlike behavior and come up with excuses, delays, etc. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 01:58:20 PM
Your inlaws don't have to move into the other rental--it's just an option you can offer to them in case they are unable to secure another rental.

To Mrs. Beetles,

I want you to know that I am sincerely sorry if this thread upsets you or if we come across as being judgey. I can honestly say that I am very scared for you. As a SAHP, you have the MOST to lose from this entire situation--even more than your children. I am a SAHP as well, so don't think I'm downing your for that. But the fact is that we are the ones who's workplace value diminishes the longer we stay at home and away from the office. When there is a SAHP in the family it is so much more important to have sufficient savings and no debt. If your husband got in an accident and couldn't work for one, maybe two months, this entire financial house of cards would collapse nearly overnight. As Whoopi Goldberg said in "Ghost," "Girl, you in danger!" I can only imagine how awkward it will be to tell your folks that you need to sell the house they are living in, knowing full well they are in no position to purchase it themselves.

Agreed.  Please don't continue to put yourself and children in danger by continuing the current course.  Please.  Your parents have other options - including living in the smaller rental home - or renting from somebody else that has a luxury home - but you cannot afford to let them continue to rent from you. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Khaetra on January 17, 2017, 01:59:13 PM
My wife is very upset with this thread at this point.

Will she be more or less upset when you and your children are homeless?


*Added after reading this back to myself*
This comment is an extreme scenario, but I meant it to be. 

You're living on a knife edge financially and even a small loss of balance could be catastrophic, I really hope your wife can see this so that there isn't a follow on post in 6 or 12 months time when they come to repossess your house.

Or worse.  Is her name on any of the properties, CC's, cars, etc.?  It may sound morbid, but none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow and if something were to happen to you and her name is on everything then guess who loses the houses, car and get's sued by creditors?  Her.  Is that fair?  No, but sadly it will happen if you do not take the very hard steps of getting rid of the properties and the car asap.  You're worried about ticking off family.  You need to look after your own immediate family first, meaning wife and kids.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: researcher1 on January 17, 2017, 02:05:22 PM
Now grow a set and man up or continue with this childlike behavior and come up with excuses, delays, etc.

THIS!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: TheStachery on January 17, 2017, 02:07:33 PM
YOU HAVE ANOTHER RENTAL???

You know what, I'm out. This is ridiculous. You do realize that at this point nobody can take you serious anymore? You're acting like a little child here and occasionally, every couple of pages, you drop a bomb like this. You "forget" 40k IRS debt. You "forget" property tax debt. You "forget" to mention that in addition to house #1 and house #2 there's another house.

This is a total waste of time, and not worth any effort. At this point, I am beating the troll drum, and I think you're making all this up as we go. And even if this is all true and you're not making it up then you, sir, are the only person in here not realizing how frustrating trying to help you is.

Good luck. I'm out.
+1
I'm out too.  Trolling at its finest to start and attract reader eyes to his own blog. 



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: CheapScholar on January 17, 2017, 02:11:52 PM
This is hilarious.  Beatles is either one of the greatest internet trolls, or one of the most financially irresponsible people in the country.  I'm still not sure which to believe but I can't look away. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 02:13:33 PM
but I can't look away.
  LOL!  I plead guilty!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Moustachienne on January 17, 2017, 02:17:17 PM
Beatles is certainly a master of chumming the water.  But good on the kind hearts of Forum members to keep rising to the bait.  People here are so committed to helping.  Maybe some of the advice will be helpful to beatles and even if not, it will be to other readers.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 17, 2017, 02:17:46 PM
It is possible that Mrs. Beatles' family needs a place to live because their nonpayment of debts has shot their credit rating and no one else will rent them an apartment.  In which case moving them into the smaller rental is a reasonable option.

But, yeah, no, the big house has gotta go.  You need that $100K, stat.  Like the airplanes say, put your own oxygen mask on first. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 02:22:19 PM
It is possible that Mrs. Beatles' family needs a place to live because their nonpayment of debts has shot their credit rating and no one else will rent them an apartment.  In which case moving them into the smaller rental is a reasonable option.

But, yeah, no, the big house has gotta go.  You need that $100K, stat.  Like the airplanes say, put your own oxygen mask on first.

Beatles - you have a huge heart.  But you are in a burning house.  Your in-laws are safely 1000 yards away and doing nothing to rescue your wife and kids.  It is up to your wife and you to rescue yourselves.  Do it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 17, 2017, 02:27:06 PM
I am the wife.  This will probably be my only post.

1) When Mr.B and I met I already owned Rental #1 (the one we owe $25k on).

2) Shortly before getting married, I received an annuity for $14k. I wanted to put the $14k on the HELOC to pay it down to $11k, but he wanted to use it on a business idea of his. So we used it on his business idea and now its all gone.

3) After our honeymoon, we moved into the $300k house. This house was previously owned by my family, but they couldnt own it anymore for various reasons so we purchased it from them, and then we moved in and they moved out.

4) The $300k house was a lot to handle. Keep in mind that $300k in our area is different than $300k in a big city. $300k in our area is a 2500-3000 Sq foot big house on several acres with a pond and a rental apartment. It's huge. Just the lawn mowing was $160 per month.

5) The mortgage was very expensive and the interest rate is high. It was a big burden. We got into a lot of debt in this house. About $25k in debt. My husbands parents give us $25k in cash to pay this debt off.

6) A couple years go by and my family needs a place to live again (their lease ended). So we decided to move out of the $300k house and let my family move back in and pay the expenses.

7) We find our current house, which is much cheaper than the $300k house. We buy it and move in. My husbands parents give us $15k for closing costs.

8) We move into the current house and it doesn't have nearly the luxuries that our previous house did so Mr. B buys crown moulding, hires a landscaper etc. Our debt gets racked up to who knows how much. I honestly dont even know how much its at right now. My husbands parents bail us out several times. Along the way we have had several months where we cant pay the mortgage and my husbands parents give us cash for it.

Thats the story. A lot of you have it wrong. You need to be nicer of people who live differently than you.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 02:33:07 PM
I am the wife.  This will probably be my only post.

1) When Mr.B and I met I already owned Rental #1 (the one we owe $25k on).

2) Shortly before getting married, I received an annuity for $14k. I wanted to put the $14k on the HELOC to pay it down to $11k, but he wanted to use it on a business idea of his. So we used it on his business idea and now its all gone.

3) After our honeymoon, we moved into the $300k house. This house was previously owned by my family, but they couldnt own it anymore for various reasons so we purchased it from them, and then we moved in and they moved out.

4) The $300k house was a lot to handle. Keep in mind that $300k in our area is different than $300k in a big city. $300k in our area is a 2500-3000 Sq foot big house on several acres with a pond and a rental apartment. It's huge. Just the lawn mowing was $160 per month.

5) The mortgage was very expensive and the interest rate is high. It was a big burden. We got into a lot of debt in this house. About $25k in debt. My husbands parents give us $25k in cash to pay this debt off.

6) A couple years go by and my family needs a place to live again (their lease ended). So we decided to move out of the $300k house and let my family move back in and pay the expenses.

7) We find our current house, which is much cheaper than the $300k house. We buy it and move in. My husbands parents give us $15k for closing costs.

8) We move into the current house and it doesn't have nearly the luxuries that our previous house did so Mr. B buys crown moulding, hires a landscaper etc. Our debt gets racked up to who knows how much. I honestly dont even know how much its at right now. My husbands parents bail us out several times. Along the way we have had several months where we cant pay the mortgage and my husbands parents give us cash for it.

Thats the story. A lot of you have it wrong. You need to be nicer of people who live differently than you.

The other Beatle - Nobody is not being nice.  We are trying to save you.  And while your story is interesting I don't know how it changes what you should do now.  Neither your family or you can afford the big house - they because they cannot finance it with their other issues  - and you because you don't make enough money.  What that means is that NEITHER of you can live in it.  You owned the rental before getting married?  Well - maybe that makes it yours under the law where you live - but as we understand it - your in-laws have put a lot of money into it to.

So what is the problem with asking your family to move into it from the house neither of you can afford to save your family?  Your family is on fire.  You are going to lose everything. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: wenchsenior on January 17, 2017, 02:34:10 PM
I am the wife.  This will probably be my only post.

1) When Mr.B and I met I already owned Rental #1 (the one we owe $25k on).

2) Shortly before getting married, I received an annuity for $14k. I wanted to put the $14k on the HELOC to pay it down to $11k, but he wanted to use it on a business idea of his. So we used it on his business idea and now its all gone.

3) After our honeymoon, we moved into the $300k house. This house was previously owned by my family, but they couldnt own it anymore for various reasons so we purchased it from them, and then we moved in and they moved out.

4) The $300k house was a lot to handle. Keep in mind that $300k in our area is different than $300k in a big city. $300k in our area is a 2500-3000 Sq foot big house on several acres with a pond and a rental apartment. It's huge. Just the lawn mowing was $160 per month.

5) The mortgage was very expensive and the interest rate is high. It was a big burden. We got into a lot of debt in this house. About $25k in debt. My husbands parents give us $25k in cash to pay this debt off.

6) A couple years go by and my family needs a place to live again (their lease ended). So we decided to move out of the $300k house and let my family move back in and pay the expenses.

7) We find our current house, which is much cheaper than the $300k house. We buy it and move in. My husbands parents give us $15k for closing costs.

8) We move into the current house and it doesn't have nearly the luxuries that our previous house did so Mr. B buys crown moulding, hires a landscaper etc. Our debt gets racked up to who knows how much. I honestly dont even know how much its at right now. My husbands parents bail us out several times. Along the way we have had several months where we cant pay the mortgage and my husbands parents give us cash for it.

Thats the story. A lot of you have it wrong. You need to be nicer of people who live differently than you.

No, this is pretty much exactly the story we've been getting for 20 pages.  Life is hard, but it's harder if you willfully keep making bad choices and living beyond your means. That's not "living differently". It's refusing to act like a responsible adult.  Your life is (metaphorically) a flaming car crash OF YOUR OWN MAKING, and you want us to have sympathy?

This is just unbelievable.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 17, 2017, 02:38:50 PM
Mrs. beatles,

You posted basically the same story as your husband.

Is there a nice way to tell you that your problem is easily solved? 

You have high interest debt that you cannot service.  You are crashing and burning.

You own over half a million dollars in real estate.  Selling just some of that real estate will easily free you up from ALL of your debt except your current mortgage, which you can easily service on your husband's income.

It's pretty simple, really.

Was I nice enough?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: charis on January 17, 2017, 02:42:08 PM
I am the wife.  This will probably be my only post.

1) When Mr.B and I met I already owned Rental #1 (the one we owe $25k on).

2) Shortly before getting married, I received an annuity for $14k. I wanted to put the $14k on the HELOC to pay it down to $11k, but he wanted to use it on a business idea of his. So we used it on his business idea and now its all gone.

3) After our honeymoon, we moved into the $300k house. This house was previously owned by my family, but they couldnt own it anymore for various reasons so we purchased it from them, and then we moved in and they moved out.

4) The $300k house was a lot to handle. Keep in mind that $300k in our area is different than $300k in a big city. $300k in our area is a 2500-3000 Sq foot big house on several acres with a pond and a rental apartment. It's huge. Just the lawn mowing was $160 per month.

5) The mortgage was very expensive and the interest rate is high. It was a big burden. We got into a lot of debt in this house. About $25k in debt. My husbands parents give us $25k in cash to pay this debt off.

6) A couple years go by and my family needs a place to live again (their lease ended). So we decided to move out of the $300k house and let my family move back in and pay the expenses.

7) We find our current house, which is much cheaper than the $300k house. We buy it and move in. My husbands parents give us $15k for closing costs.

8) We move into the current house and it doesn't have nearly the luxuries that our previous house did so Mr. B buys crown moulding, hires a landscaper etc. Our debt gets racked up to who knows how much. I honestly dont even know how much its at right now. My husbands parents bail us out several times. Along the way we have had several months where we cant pay the mortgage and my husbands parents give us cash for it.

Thats the story. A lot of you have it wrong. You need to be nicer of people who live differently than you.

How does anyone have it wrong, exactly?  This is how I read the story to be.  Suggesting that you need to sell some of your property so you don't become completely ruined is not "not nice."  Yes, it's some tough talk, and you thought you were doing the best you could.  But it's time to face the music.  You can do this.  You need to turn things around quickly by following the advice on this thread.

Talking to your family will be hard, but starting by telling them that you are belly up and could lose your home is a good beginning.  They WILL understand that tough decisions have to be made.  You helped them, let them help you.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 17, 2017, 02:44:59 PM
Hello, theotherbeatle! First I'm going to give you a hug. I'm not much for face punching. You have been living one way, and we're trying - in a variety of tones and approaches - to encourage you to consider a different way of living. One that doesn't include cold sweats at night over bills, fear over losing your home, or dread about how to pay for college for your children.

It's becoming clear that this financial tight-rope walking is multigenerational. Your parents have been living above their means, and now you and your husband are living above your means. Mr. beatle's parents are the only ones we've seen in this story who seem to have adequate resources, but those resources are slowly being drained as well, as his parents continue to come to your rescue and/or allow you to live above your means.

I'm concerned about a lot of things, but I want to ask about one in particular. The family members living in the $300K house. It was their house, then you bought it from them? And now they're covering the expenses again and living in it. What do they owe "a couple hundred thousand" in back taxes on? They seem to have been renting just prior to moving back into the house.

Little changes aren't going to get it done, I'm sorry to say. But in better news, if you can make a couple of big changes, it will create a blank slate - debts wiped clean - and then you can decide whether you want to risk falling down a well of debt again, or whether you want to live, as you put it, differently.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 17, 2017, 02:46:32 PM
I am the wife.  This will probably be my only post.

1) When Mr.B and I met I already owned Rental #1 (the one we owe $25k on).

2) Shortly before getting married, I received an annuity for $14k. I wanted to put the $14k on the HELOC to pay it down to $11k, but he wanted to use it on a business idea of his. So we used it on his business idea and now its all gone.

3) After our honeymoon, we moved into the $300k house. This house was previously owned by my family, but they couldnt own it anymore for various reasons so we purchased it from them, and then we moved in and they moved out.

4) The $300k house was a lot to handle. Keep in mind that $300k in our area is different than $300k in a big city. $300k in our area is a 2500-3000 Sq foot big house on several acres with a pond and a rental apartment. It's huge. Just the lawn mowing was $160 per month.

5) The mortgage was very expensive and the interest rate is high. It was a big burden. We got into a lot of debt in this house. About $25k in debt. My husbands parents give us $25k in cash to pay this debt off.

6) A couple years go by and my family needs a place to live again (their lease ended). So we decided to move out of the $300k house and let my family move back in and pay the expenses.

7) We find our current house, which is much cheaper than the $300k house. We buy it and move in. My husbands parents give us $15k for closing costs.

8) We move into the current house and it doesn't have nearly the luxuries that our previous house did so Mr. B buys crown moulding, hires a landscaper etc. Our debt gets racked up to who knows how much. I honestly dont even know how much its at right now. My husbands parents bail us out several times. Along the way we have had several months where we cant pay the mortgage and my husbands parents give us cash for it.

Thats the story. A lot of you have it wrong. You need to be nicer of people who live differently than you.

No, this is pretty much exactly the story we've been getting for 20 pages.  Life is hard, but it's harder if you willfully keep making bad choices and living beyond your means. That's not "living differently". It's refusing to act like a responsible adult.  Your life is (metaphorically) a flaming car crash OF YOUR OWN MAKING, and you want us to have sympathy?

This is just unbelievable.
Mrs Beatles, you and your husband were sucked into some bad choices to meet the convenience of your parents.  You bought a house from them that was totally unsuitable because they wanted you to, you put $100k into it, and now they are back living there at your expense.  You are in unpayable amounts of debt while they are sitting on $100k of your cash and giving you nothing for it.   Your parents are also living in that big, smart house at the expense of your husband's parents, who are effectively subsidising your parents by bailing you out because you are short that 4100k - how is that fair?

Please make a list of the priorities in your life.  Hint: your priority should be the safety, security and future of your immediate family.  And by "immediate family" I mean you, your husband and your children.  Build the four of you a liferaft, rather than letting yourselves drown while your parents suck you dry sitting pretty in that big smart house.  This will be hard for you to recognise, but your parents do not have your best interests at heart, nor do they have the best interests of their grandchildren at heart.  Once you do recognise that, you can start to make smart, logical choices about what to do.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Ramblin' Ma'am on January 17, 2017, 02:49:52 PM
I am the wife.  This will probably be my only post.

1) When Mr.B and I met I already owned Rental #1 (the one we owe $25k on).

2) Shortly before getting married, I received an annuity for $14k. I wanted to put the $14k on the HELOC to pay it down to $11k, but he wanted to use it on a business idea of his. So we used it on his business idea and now its all gone.

3) After our honeymoon, we moved into the $300k house. This house was previously owned by my family, but they couldnt own it anymore for various reasons so we purchased it from them, and then we moved in and they moved out.

4) The $300k house was a lot to handle. Keep in mind that $300k in our area is different than $300k in a big city. $300k in our area is a 2500-3000 Sq foot big house on several acres with a pond and a rental apartment. It's huge. Just the lawn mowing was $160 per month.

5) The mortgage was very expensive and the interest rate is high. It was a big burden. We got into a lot of debt in this house. About $25k in debt. My husbands parents give us $25k in cash to pay this debt off.

6) A couple years go by and my family needs a place to live again (their lease ended). So we decided to move out of the $300k house and let my family move back in and pay the expenses.

7) We find our current house, which is much cheaper than the $300k house. We buy it and move in. My husbands parents give us $15k for closing costs.

8) We move into the current house and it doesn't have nearly the luxuries that our previous house did so Mr. B buys crown moulding, hires a landscaper etc. Our debt gets racked up to who knows how much. I honestly dont even know how much its at right now. My husbands parents bail us out several times. Along the way we have had several months where we cant pay the mortgage and my husbands parents give us cash for it.

Thats the story. A lot of you have it wrong. You need to be nicer of people who live differently than you.

It's not as though a group of strangers accosted you in the street to criticize your lifestyle (although I understand if maybe it feels like that). Your husband posted here to ask for financial advice, so people are trying to help. There are some pretty straightforward steps that could go a long way in solving your situation (I won't say "easy steps," since it's tied up with your family relationships, but straightforward from an outside perspective.)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyMuMu on January 17, 2017, 02:50:11 PM
The most interesting new information here is the degree to how financially enmeshed your families are. Mrs. Beatles, your family may well feel like the "big house" is still theirs or "should" stay in the family and thus making it difficult to sell. You basically have two generations of a family unwilling to part with a piece of real estate that is ruining you all financially. If your family hadn't been paying the high costs on the big house, how much closer would they be to paying down their IRS debt?

Mr. Beatles, you've been a little light on the degree to which your family has bailed you out over the years. Sounds like it is a reoccurring habit. Now I understand why you were so certain they would give you money to solve this problem if you asked for it. Sounds like the money tap has been on a slow dribble for quite some time.

I stand by my advice to do a dramatic all-in-one solution that severs all this financial enmeshment.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: mustachepungoeshere on January 17, 2017, 02:59:11 PM
8) We move into the current house and it doesn't have nearly the luxuries that our previous house did so Mr. B buys crown moulding, hires a landscaper etc.

Our debt gets racked up to who knows how much. I honestly dont even know how much its at right now.

You seem to have worded that very carefully to avoid taking responsibility for the debt.

"Mr B buys" - no, you both did this. You both spent money or agreed that you "needed" crown moulding and landscaping. = "We buy..."

"Our debt gets racked up" - this did not happen independently of you. = "We racked up debt..."

You guys will not make progress till you can own your mistakes. You created this mess together, time to fix it together.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 03:14:14 PM
You created this mess together, time to fix it together.

This is the best, most succinct summary of this thread that could possibly exist.  :)

The community here has given its best brass-tacks suggestions and honest assessment of what's at issue.

It's now time for the two of you to sit down together and decide what you're going to do, together, as a team, to secure the future of your family.  You two together can actively create the family that you want your children to grow up in by cleaning this up--and doing so is an act of love for each other, and an act of love for your children.  "And in the end," to quote the actual Beatles, "the love you take is equal to the love you make."

Please, both of you, come back and tell us about your plan when you've decided on a strategy.  We'd love to follow your updates and cheer you on.  :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 17, 2017, 03:14:29 PM
Our debt gets racked up to who knows how much.
This is a big part of the problem. I think if you had realized how much trouble you were getting into, you might have sold the big house early on - before your parents moved back into it, and then you wouldn't be in the awkward position of having to tell them they need to move out so you can sell it.

I'd be curious to hear what other married couples here do regarding finances. In my house, my husband manages the big spreadsheet of money, and on the final Friday of each month he prints it out, and shoves it in front of my face. It includes our bank account, his retirement accounts, my retirement accounts, our other assets (just the house we live in, we don't count cars or furniture), and any loans including the mortgage.

On yours, right now it probably would make sense to also include all those credit cards, tax bills, and also the required minimum payments on them. And given your situation and that you are trying to change so much at once, it might make sense to do this weekly instead of monthly until you're out of debt completely. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: mustachepungoeshere on January 17, 2017, 03:24:04 PM
In my house, my husband manages the big spreadsheet of money, and on the final Friday of each month he prints it out, and shoves it in front of my face.

I love this.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: wenchsenior on January 17, 2017, 03:30:57 PM
In my house, my husband manages the big spreadsheet of money, and on the final Friday of each month he prints it out, and shoves it in front of my face.

I love this.

We do this exact same thing, on the 1st Sunday.  I print the sheet of our assets and liabilities (none anymore expect modest mortgage), and stick it in front of my husband whether he wants to look or not.  He hates managing money, but he understands that I cannot manage it for us without consistent input from him. Normally, he glances at our totals and says something joking like, "Are we rich yet?"  But that is the time to discuss any and all discretionary spending for the month, or any random expenses that have popped up. One half hour. Once per month. Keeps on the same page and working toward the same goal.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RamonaQ on January 17, 2017, 03:33:18 PM
Thats the story. A lot of you have it wrong. You need to be nicer of people who live differently than you.

I haven't posted here yet, though I have been reading along.

You guys have been living differently than a lot of people on here.  This has been your "normal" and you have a lot of money and real estate deals tied up with family, which I'm sure adds a whole layer of complication and emotion onto things.  So perhaps some suggestions trigger an immediate "no, we can't do that!" response.

Do you want to live differently?  For me, the stress of having that much debt, being behind on taxes, owing money to family - that would eat me up inside.  If it's affecting you similarly and you want to change, I encourage you to seriously consider the options that people are laying forth, even the ones that immediately seem impossible.

I get that solutions in the real world might be tied up with a whole lot of extra emotion.  But can you even imagine the positive emotions that could come from being debt-free, knowing where your money is going, having savings, not spending a ton servicing debt, having extra money left at the end of the month?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Unique User on January 17, 2017, 03:52:08 PM
I am the wife.  This will probably be my only post.

1) When Mr.B and I met I already owned Rental #1 (the one we owe $25k on).

2) Shortly before getting married, I received an annuity for $14k. I wanted to put the $14k on the HELOC to pay it down to $11k, but he wanted to use it on a business idea of his. So we used it on his business idea and now its all gone.

3) After our honeymoon, we moved into the $300k house. This house was previously owned by my family, but they couldnt own it anymore for various reasons so we purchased it from them, and then we moved in and they moved out.

4) The $300k house was a lot to handle. Keep in mind that $300k in our area is different than $300k in a big city. $300k in our area is a 2500-3000 Sq foot big house on several acres with a pond and a rental apartment. It's huge. Just the lawn mowing was $160 per month.

5) The mortgage was very expensive and the interest rate is high. It was a big burden. We got into a lot of debt in this house. About $25k in debt. My husbands parents give us $25k in cash to pay this debt off.

6) A couple years go by and my family needs a place to live again (their lease ended). So we decided to move out of the $300k house and let my family move back in and pay the expenses.

7) We find our current house, which is much cheaper than the $300k house. We buy it and move in. My husbands parents give us $15k for closing costs.

8) We move into the current house and it doesn't have nearly the luxuries that our previous house did so Mr. B buys crown moulding, hires a landscaper etc. Our debt gets racked up to who knows how much. I honestly dont even know how much its at right now. My husbands parents bail us out several times. Along the way we have had several months where we cant pay the mortgage and my husbands parents give us cash for it.

Thats the story. A lot of you have it wrong. You need to be nicer of people who live differently than you.

I'm sorry you feel insulted.  I get that you feel like a lot of strangers are judging you and don't understand your life and choices.  But, this thread has made me realize the incredible community on here.  We all want everyone to succeed, we don't want anyone, even anonymous internet strangers to fall into financial ruin.  We've all made stupid choices, heck I posted one of my most idiotic, losing $90k on a house.  My husband and I worked part time or not at all for 15 or so years.  We took crap jobs because that was all that was available when we finally realized where we were headed.  But we realized our dumb choices, vowed to fix it and now ~7 years later we just ticked over the seven figure mark of assets.  I'll hope you make it through.  But it will take tough choices and realizing that luxuries and how people perceive you are not what is important, your husband, your kids and your peace of mind are what is important.  Good luck. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BlueHouse on January 17, 2017, 03:59:39 PM


4) The $300k house was a lot to handle. Keep in mind that $300k in our area is different than $300k in a big city. $300k in our area is a 2500-3000 Sq foot big house on several acres with a pond and a rental apartment. It's huge. Just the lawn mowing was $160 per month.
Well, there's $160 someone can earn in their spare time!

theotherbeatle:  how many people are living in the $300K house?  Because I would seriously consider moving back in there with your family (make room).  Your parents can help with childcare so that you're not stuck in the house with the kids all day and you can either get a part time job or do other chores to help around the financial house.  Or get better at grocery shopping.  Or mow the lawn. 

When I read your post, I thought maybe you were an immigrant family because they tend to do the type of house swaps that you're talking about.  But immigrant families (especially Asian) usually have no problem sharing living quarters.  If you all are so close, you can probably stand to get a little bit closer!

I agree with the others -- you don't see that you're subsidizing your parents.  You think they are "covering expenses" but think about whether this would be a fair arrangement if they were not related.  If you were bleeding this kind of money on a stranger, I think you'd be quicker to make a decision.   

Something has to change.  I hope you see that at least.  Maybe this is the right place for you, maybe not.  Good luck. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Panly on January 17, 2017, 04:16:27 PM
my money is on MMM having a good laugh as "the beatles".


innocent hint: "does MMM ever post here?"

plus plenty of other hints:
- dripfeeding facepunch demanding stuff, day by day
- a hidden 300k house with granitemarbletops, heated floors and whathave you  :)
- the Mrs. having a single post.
etc.



Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 17, 2017, 04:17:51 PM
I am the wife.  This will probably be my only post.


Thats the story. A lot of you have it wrong. You need to be nicer of people who live differently than you.

Every single person in this thread is trying to help you and being nice. We live differently because we live within our means. The sooner you realize that the closer you are to fixing your situation.

Not liking what we said and not liking how we said it are two entirely different things.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 04:24:06 PM
I think I have figured the big house issue out.  Mr. and Mrs. Beatles are helping the in laws avoid paying the IRS the 100K in equity in the big house.  That is really why it is a non issue. Please tell I am wrong Mr. Beatles?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 17, 2017, 04:24:44 PM

You need to be nicer of people who live differently than you.

How nice do you think the people will be who are going to foreclose on your house? Think about this honestly and try to get some perspective. You and your children are in a very precarious spot.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 04:25:34 PM
The women who lives in mexico (Baja username I think).

Please check your PM's.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: smilla on January 17, 2017, 04:34:20 PM
I agree with the others -- you don't see that you're subsidizing your parents.  You think they are "covering expenses" but think about whether this would be a fair arrangement if they were not related.  If you were bleeding this kind of money on a stranger, I think you'd be quicker to make a decision.   

It's worse than that. Mr. Beatles parents are subsidizing all of the Beatles and Mrs.B's family. I wonder if they (Mr.B's parents) realize it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 04:37:41 PM
I agree with the others -- you don't see that you're subsidizing your parents.  You think they are "covering expenses" but think about whether this would be a fair arrangement if they were not related.  If you were bleeding this kind of money on a stranger, I think you'd be quicker to make a decision.   

It's worse than that. Mr. Beatles parents are subsidizing all of the Beatles and Mrs.B's family. I wonder if they realize it.

No - I have come to the conclusion that it is so much worse than just finances.  The Beatles have conspired  with their in-laws to hide 100k from the IRS.  They could go to jail.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 17, 2017, 04:41:22 PM
I am the wife.  This will probably be my only post.

1) When Mr.B and I met I already owned Rental #1 (the one we owe $25k on).

2) Shortly before getting married, I received an annuity for $14k. I wanted to put the $14k on the HELOC to pay it down to $11k, but he wanted to use it on a business idea of his. So we used it on his business idea and now its all gone.

3) After our honeymoon, we moved into the $300k house. This house was previously owned by my family, but they couldnt own it anymore for various reasons so we purchased it from them, and then we moved in and they moved out.

4) The $300k house was a lot to handle. Keep in mind that $300k in our area is different than $300k in a big city. $300k in our area is a 2500-3000 Sq foot big house on several acres with a pond and a rental apartment. It's huge. Just the lawn mowing was $160 per month.

5) The mortgage was very expensive and the interest rate is high. It was a big burden. We got into a lot of debt in this house. About $25k in debt. My husbands parents give us $25k in cash to pay this debt off.

6) A couple years go by and my family needs a place to live again (their lease ended). So we decided to move out of the $300k house and let my family move back in and pay the expenses.

7) We find our current house, which is much cheaper than the $300k house. We buy it and move in. My husbands parents give us $15k for closing costs.

8) We move into the current house and it doesn't have nearly the luxuries that our previous house did so Mr. B buys crown moulding, hires a landscaper etc. Our debt gets racked up to who knows how much. I honestly dont even know how much its at right now. My husbands parents bail us out several times. Along the way we have had several months where we cant pay the mortgage and my husbands parents give us cash for it.

Thats the story. A lot of you have it wrong. You need to be nicer of people who live differently than you.

Mrs. Beatles: if you are still reading, thank you for providing so much more background and context for your situation.

Unfortunately, how you got there over the past several years does not change the reality of where you are right now, today.  That is just math.  And the math says that you absolutely, 100% cannot afford three houses, two cars, and a SAHM. 

The people here are just trying to show you all of the options that you really do have to fix that fundamental problem.  Some may say it nicely; others may choose to be more direct to try to break through what can sometimes feel like repeated, bullheaded resistance.  But it all comes from a place of wanting to help, of wanting you to be ok. 

But all we can do is point out your many, many options; it is up to you to decide which of them, if any, to follow.  Just realize that rejecting these options is also a choice -- and you are the one who gets to make that choice and then live with the consequences.  Debt doesn't rack up on its own; it grows when you choose to spend more than you make.  You don't run short on cash for the mortgage in a vacuum; it happens when you choose to spend money you don't have on luxury finishes.  Etc.

If you want the future to be different from the present, you need to start making different choices now than you have in the past.  Even if they are hard.  And even if saying so doesn't sound very "nice."
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Dezrah on January 17, 2017, 04:45:10 PM
To the Beatles Family,

Have you guys ever considered going through Dave Ramsey's* Financial Peace University?  It's a nine-week course where you and other families strive to get out of debt and build a strong foundation for future wealth.  The slower format and in-person support/accountability structure might be a better fit.  It's not free, but frankly free help doesn't seem to be enough at this point.

Also, the DR crowd is WAY more understanding about the allure of "luxury" than the MMM forums.  They would probably be more sympathetic to how you got in your current position and would be more willing to help you figure out which luxuries you can keep.

We wish you the best.

*Note: a LOT of forum members take issue with some of DR's advice but the general consensus is his plan is good for the average family.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 04:48:34 PM
I agree with the others -- you don't see that you're subsidizing your parents.  You think they are "covering expenses" but think about whether this would be a fair arrangement if they were not related.  If you were bleeding this kind of money on a stranger, I think you'd be quicker to make a decision.   

It's worse than that. Mr. Beatles parents are subsidizing all of the Beatles and Mrs.B's family. I wonder if they realize it.

No - I have come to the conclusion that it is so much worse than just finances.  The Beatles have conspired  with their in-laws to hide 100k from the IRS.  They could go to jail.

No.

The $100k increase was due to the housing market coming back around. It was originally purchased at close to $200k.

Everything was fair and square.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 04:53:03 PM
Have you guys ever considered going through Dave Ramsey's* Financial Peace University?  It's a nine-week course where you and other families strive to get out of debt and build a strong foundation for future wealth.  The slower format and in-person support/accountability structure might be a better fit.  It's not free, but frankly free help doesn't seem to be enough at this point.

Also, the DR crowd is WAY more understanding about the allure of "luxury" than the MMM forums.  They would probably be more sympathetic to how you got in your current position and would be more willing to help you figure out which luxuries you can keep.

We wish you the best.

*Note: a LOT of forum members take issue with some of DR's advice but the general consensus is his plan is good for the average family.

Here is the first hour, for free:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUa43GRHt4M

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 05:00:59 PM
This our updated budget.

Expenses:

 
ITEMMONTHLY| TOTAL |INTEREST RATE
GARBAGE36
CALE/INTERNET114
WATER50
GEICO AUTO135
AUTO LOAN39335916.54%
MORTGAGE1761164,7175.125%
FUEL150
GAS/ELECTRIC150
GROCERIES650
EATING OUT100
CAMERAS25
PARENTS030,K
CC119485625.24%
CC2134449524.49
CC32550523.24%
CC42545210.23%
CC52069218.49%
CC67579724.15
CC7 (STORE CARDS)100202025.24
Furniture Loan276195025.00
Property Tax53511,38018%
TOTAL494859,720

Looks like we still need to find things to cut.

At $4,948 --- We only have $100 to put towards debt repayment that isn't property tax.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 05:05:11 PM
This our updated budget.

Now we're getting somewhere!  :)

Looks like we still need to find things to cut.

At $4,948 --- We only have $100 to put towards debt repayment that isn't property tax.

First thing I'd cut:  eating out.  Dave Ramsey says that when you're in debt, the only reason you should see the inside of a restaurant is because you're working there.  More here:
http://www.daveramsey.com/askdave/posts/124444

Next thing I'd do:  find $500 worth of stuff in your house that you can sell.  Books and CD's, fancy purses, power tools, whatever it is.  Use Craigslist.  Have a yard sale.  Whatever it takes, get $500 from somewhere.

Next thing I'd do:  Pay off CC4 (your lowest rate card) with the $500 from what you sold.  Transfer as much of your ~25% debt to this card as you possibly can.  This lowers the overall interest rate on your debt and makes your payments that much more effective at killing principal.

Next month, you have the $100 surplus, plus $100 from not eating out, plus $25 that you are now not paying to CC4, for a total of $225.  Pay off half of CC3.  If you can find another $250 that month (sell more stuff, mow a yard or two, economize on groceries, whatever), pay off CC3 totally.

Next month, you have $100 + $100 + $25 + $25 for $250.  Target CC1 next.  You can pay this off in 3 months (or less if you economize more--see how it works?), and then roll that $194 into your snowball.

Now you have $100 + $100 + $25 + $25 + $194 for a total snowball of $444.  CC6 can be history in a month or two.

You really can do this.  It just requires focus, discipline, and having the whole family on board.  I believe you have the skills to do it, and we are all here to help.

Now go for it!

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 05:17:24 PM
This our updated budget.

Now we're getting somewhere!  :)

Looks like we still need to find things to cut.

At $4,948 --- We only have $100 to put towards debt repayment that isn't property tax.

First thing I'd cut:  eating out.  Dave Ramsey says that when you're in debt, the only reason you should see the inside of a restaurant is because you're working there.  More here:
http://www.daveramsey.com/askdave/posts/124444

Agreed.

I was just leaving something in case of emergency.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: JoJo on January 17, 2017, 05:18:31 PM
Where is your health insurance?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 05:22:04 PM
Agreed.

I was just leaving something in case of emergency.

Just be sure that eating out isn't an emergency.  :)  (Been there, done that, got the t-shirt!)

Also check out my revised post above with my new payment plan suggestion.  You can do this!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ketchup on January 17, 2017, 05:24:56 PM
I don't think it's been brought up specifically, but what is the "cameras" $25 line item?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: rpr on January 17, 2017, 05:32:26 PM
Assuming that the most recent budget is accurate and that the OP has a further $100 in addition to the minimum debt service payments of $1384/month, a Dave Ramsey snowball should get them out of all debts (other than the OPs parents loan of $30K) in about 19 months. That is not too bad. If the OP has truly learnt from this thread, then the OP has $1484/month to add to savings once the debts are paid off.

https://www.vertex42.com/Calculators/debt-reduction-calculator.html (https://www.vertex42.com/Calculators/debt-reduction-calculator.html)

Edit: Zoot beat me to it ;)

Edit2: The situation gets better if you add the auto loan to the snowball as well. Can get done in 17 months instead of 19. Now the amount available to save goes up to $1877/month  after debts are paid off.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 05:35:16 PM
Where is your health insurance?

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/the-beatles-case-study/
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 05:36:18 PM
I don't think it's been brought up specifically, but what is the "cameras" $25 line item?

Security cameras.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Cranky on January 17, 2017, 05:37:51 PM


Of course you could make this work temporarily.  People quite literally do this all the time because they HAVE to.  There is a journal on here by a woman who moved into a one-bedroom apartment with her two children after a divorce.  You could take take care of all your problems and babysitters nearby when cabin fever sets in.  This is an absolute gift.  Take it, save up some money, and never go back to your old lifestyle.

Where does everyone sleep!?!?

Either way, would have to wait until August at the minimum for the tenants lease to be up.

Umm, your kids sleep in the bedroom, and the Elder Beatles sleep in the living room. Because y'know, 1000 square feet is about the size of my 3 bedroom house.

I realize that you are used to Nice Things, but do you honestly not see that this whole mess could collapse on you and you'd have... nothing?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 05:39:29 PM
This our updated budget.

Now we're getting somewhere!  :)

Looks like we still need to find things to cut.

At $4,948 --- We only have $100 to put towards debt repayment that isn't property tax.

First thing I'd cut:  eating out.  Dave Ramsey says that when you're in debt, the only reason you should see the inside of a restaurant is because you're working there.  More here:
http://www.daveramsey.com/askdave/posts/124444

Next thing I'd do:  find $500 worth of stuff in your house that you can sell.  Books and CD's, fancy purses, power tools, whatever it is.  Use Craigslist.  Have a yard sale.  Whatever it takes, get $500 from somewhere.

Next thing I'd do:  Pay off CC4 (your lowest rate card) with the $500 from what you sold.  Transfer as much of your ~25% debt to this card as you possibly can.  This lowers the overall interest rate on your debt and makes your payments that much more effective at killing principal.

Next month, you have the $100 surplus, plus $100 from not eating out, plus $25 that you are now not paying to CC4, for a total of $225.  Pay off half of CC3.  If you can find another $250 that month (sell more stuff, mow a yard or two, economize on groceries, whatever), pay off CC3 totally.

Next month, you have $100 + $100 + $25 + $25 for $250.  Target CC1 next.  You can pay this off in 3 months (or less if you economize more--see how it works?), and then roll that $194 into your snowball.

Now you have $100 + $100 + $25 + $25 + $194 for a total snowball of $444.  CC6 can be history in a month or two.

You really can do this.  It just requires focus, discipline, and having the whole family on board.  I believe you have the skills to do it, and we are all here to help.

Now go for it!

It'll be a bummer but I do have a drone I can sell for probably $350.

I'm also trying to find some sort of online work. Even for just a couple hundred per month, that could really add to the process you listed above.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 05:43:15 PM
It'll be a bummer but I do have a drone I can sell for probably $350.

I'm also trying to find some sort of online work. Even for just a couple hundred per month, that could really add to the process you listed above.

Now THIS is what I've been hoping to see.  :) 

Selling stuff, AND a side hustle! 

Your inner gazelle is starting to RUN.  Go, go, go!  That first credit card is HISTORY!  :)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: With This Herring on January 17, 2017, 05:56:01 PM
You current budget has no room for:

You need to sell car and house type assets, but the drone is a good start.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Goldielocks on January 17, 2017, 05:56:46 PM
Beatles,  after so many pages and pages,  I felt a need to get back to basics.   I will post my response in two parts -- a summary of your position, and then a new look at the forward position (my opinions).
/-------

--  I have recombined the below from the original post and a few other comments...  my math may be off.
Wanted to show cashflow (Income - expenses)  and Assets - Liabilities grouped together...

Life Situation: Married, 30, 2 Kids

Gross Salary/Wages: $5128.12 / month
Pre-tax deductions: $634.46 / month   (including Health coverage and $600/yr contribution combined to 401k and ROTH, I assume work also contributes a match of some sort)
 *Excludes $67/month - 401k Repayment on loan taken off Salary, moved to expenses
Taxes: $619.93 / month (SSI, Federal tax on employment income)

Employment Income NET $3941/month   NET $47,292/year


Rental Income, Actual Expenses, and Depreciation:  $1,100 rent
* Not discounted for maintenance and repairs or vacancies or back taxes repayment, if any *   

In-law Residence and Apartment Rental Income $0  (Apartment rent claimed by inlaws who personally cover the full property mortgage and taxes,  rental leased for 1bdrm apartment through to August)


Adjusted NET Income: $5041 / month    $60k per year!!



Expenses:
Monthly Spend
Monthly purchases (food, entertainment, utilities, fuel, etc) $2480,
  *rapidly declining as cost cutting happens*
 
Mortgage, taxes, insurance on primary property: $1761
*primary residence is valued at $175k, owing $164k, mortgage at 5.125%
* this includes insurance and ppty tax, and a late charge payment of $38/month*

Rental Property - HELOC and Taxes currently paid  $505
* Note - missing insurance on rental property and maintenance / vacancy adjustment.
*  guessing around 6% interest on HELOC , no other mortgage, interior in excellent condition, needs roof*

CC's (7) and Furniture Loan  $849
*Total owing is $11,767 at avg 23.7% interest, will pay off in 18 months at this rate,  interest payments are currently $2789 per year*

Auto Loan  $393
* Total Owing is $3591, value of car is over $15k at 6.54%,   second car is wifes and paid off*

401k Loan $67
* payroll deduction, unknown total outstanding

Residence :In-law mortgage, insurance, Property tax $0
-- covered by in-laws -- see above note.

Total Monthly Expenses   $6055

CASH FLOW DEFICIT:  $1014/month    *Hair on fire* 
[/size]   *** Note that getting rid of CC debt and auto loan would fully cover this deficit, but other loans would also need payment... through reduction in expenses.... ****

Assets:
REAL ASSETS
Primary home – Owe $164,717, worth $175k
Rental – Owe $25k HELOC (+ $9k back taxes), worth $70k to $80k
In-Law Residence and apartment :  Owe $200k, worth $300k

Total Real Property Asset Value:  $550k   (minus 6% realtor fees, or $30k = $520k)
Total Mortgage / HELOC : $390k
Real Property NET Equity:  (excluding back taxes): $160k

OTHER ASSETS
Car – worth $15k to $17k
Cash - $850
401k - $5,000
Total Other Assets (approx) : $21k
Total All Assets:  $181k

Immediate Liabilities:
Income tax - $40k  URGENT
Property tax on rental - $9k  URGENT
CC(7) and furniture loans - $11,767
Car Loan  $3,591
Parent Loan $30k
Roof* For Rental  $5k  URGENT 
  * this is an immediate liability so recorded here

Immediate Liabilities Total:  $99,358   of which $54k is URGENT


REAL Property Asset Equity:  $160k
Minus realtor / transfer fees  $30k
Plus other assets  $21k

NET ASSET VALUE:  $169k

IMMEDIATE  LIABILITIES : $99,358  plus 401k loan

NET Worth (if all property is sold) $69,642 minus 401k loan
---- ^^^ HOORAY!?!^^^
   
Danger points & Key Risks:
[/size]
[/color]$1014/ month cash flow negative (income too low and / or consumer debt too high, and/or expenses too high)
..Average 23.7% on consumer loans (CC's)
..URGENT repayments needed for $54,000   (Back Taxes, Property Tax, Roof)
..Can't lose job or 401k loan impact is severe.
..No insurance currently on rental.
..Primary housing costs (mortgage, ins, ppty tax, heat) is 37% of gross employment income. 
..Total Debt to income including all residences is approx 68% ***
     (***I included the inlaw property at 5.15% interest plus $1000 ins and taxes in both the income and the debt load side, for gross income of $9115 versus debt load of $6200)


Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Dagobert on January 17, 2017, 05:57:47 PM
This is very unmustachian of me again. Here in Holland you can get a loan from the city for a small interest if you agree to go into budgetmanagement (you bassicaly get an allowance at minimumwage). With the new loan, all other debt is payed of so it's central, easy to manage and lower interest.

Is it possible for you to get a loan of 70k on your wifes property? You can pay of the IRS (it isn't listed in your budget?), taxlien, carloan, all of the creditcards, and pay for the roof. With the interest and monthly minimum saved you can pay of this new debt in little time.

Not as rewarding as watching the monthly snowballeffect of eliminating the small debts, but you can keep both rentals and renters staying there as you desire.
Pitfall is, you did this before with the creditcardbailout from your parents. So you need to keep this level of motivation to pay this debt down and not fall back in old habits this time. Lots of advice here to help you with that.

But in essence: Going back to basics as you said it somewhere earlier. Thats mustachian
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 17, 2017, 06:07:00 PM
You current budget has no room for:
  • an IRS repayment plan when it is settled
  • the next property tax bill for the rental
  • the new roof for the rental
  • insurance for the rental

You need to sell car and house type assets, but the drone is a good start.

Right - his house is on fire and burning down.  He has an uninsured property with $4K+ in property tax due in a couple of months that he has no way to pay.  He has $40K in IRS debt with no way to pay.  He said he owes for something not paid for Escrow soon.  He probably owes income tax for 2016. 

Beatles -what are you going to do about selling a rental or two to get beyond this?  You don't have enough shit to sell to pay those things.  You are a second away from financial ruin.  And the IRS probably really wants the house with $100K of equity ....

What are you waiting for to make  a read decision that matters?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Goldielocks on January 17, 2017, 06:07:35 PM
Okay,  I saw your updated expenses.  Excellent progress!   .... although a few of the outstanding amounts increased slightly, and the property tax interest rate appeared.

Cutting costs like this so suddenly is very expensive, and very stressful and hard to do.  Frankly, my head is spinning with all that you are trying to keep juggling, and then trying to massively cut expenses on top of it.


Question -- how much is your 401k loan for?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 17, 2017, 06:14:34 PM
This our updated budget.

Expenses:

 
ITEMMONTHLY| TOTAL |INTEREST RATE
GARBAGE36
CALE/INTERNET114
WATER50
GEICO AUTO135
AUTO LOAN39335916.54%
MORTGAGE1761164,7175.125%
FUEL150
GAS/ELECTRIC150
GROCERIES650
EATING OUT100
CAMERAS25
PARENTS030,K
CC119485625.24%
CC2134449524.49
CC32550523.24%
CC42545210.23%
CC52069218.49%
CC67579724.15
CC7 (STORE CARDS)100202025.24
Furniture Loan276195025.00
Property Tax53511,38018%
TOTAL494859,720

Looks like we still need to find things to cut.

At $4,948 --- We only have $100 to put towards debt repayment that isn't property tax.

Definite progress!  But I suspect there are a few things that may have slipped through -- any kid expenses (e.g., new shoes), little ongoing subscriptions (Netflix?  Hulu?  Spotify?  Amazon Prime?  Newspapers?  Etc.), minor home repairs (do you have a sufficient stock of lightbulbs?  What if your toilet handle breaks and you need to replace it?  Just to name 2 things that happened in my house in the last 2 days).  Etc.  Not that these things need to be expensive at all, but one or two would easily eat up that $100 extra you have budgeted. 

I would also suggest revising your drone plan up by a factor of 10 -- you need sufficient cash on hand to pay the property taxes in, what, 6 weeks? 

This will get you over the immediate hump.  But you still do need a plan to tackle the IRS debt as soon as your CPA negotiates a deal, the roof repair of the rental, and insurance for that property.  So I would encourage you to keep cracking at it -- you need both current cash and more space in your current budget.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 06:18:49 PM
He has an uninsured property with $4K+ in property tax due in a couple of months that he has no way to pay.  He has $40K in IRS debt with no way to pay.  He said he owes for something not paid for Escrow soon.  He probably owes income tax for 2016. 

Beatles, you said in your original case study data that the rental income was $595 net, and that $375 of the $1100 rent was for taxes.  (See?  I did go back and read your case study tonight!)  Have you in fact been putting this money away, such that you can pay the $4K tax bill for 2017 when it comes due in March?  Or is this an additional liability?

For the IRS debt, Beatles, you're still working with the accountant to get the amount lowered, right? 

Do you expect to have to pay more to the IRS for your 2016 tax return?  If you are due a refund, would IRS then just apply the amount of the refund to the taxes in arrears?  (Not sure how this works.)

I believe you mentioned that you might be getting a bonus check or some kind of other windfall-like payment from your employer in a couple months. Is that still on the table, and if so, how much would it be?  With that information, we can offer advice on how best to apply those funds to your situation.

Keep going!  You can do it!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 06:47:26 PM
You current budget has no room for:
  • an IRS repayment plan when it is settled
  • the next property tax bill for the rental
  • the new roof for the rental
  • insurance for the rental

You need to sell car and house type assets, but the drone is a good start.

Right - his house is on fire and burning down.  He has an uninsured property with $4K+ in property tax due in a couple of months that he has no way to pay.  He has $40K in IRS debt with no way to pay.  He said he owes for something not paid for Escrow soon.  He probably owes income tax for 2016. 

Beatles -what are you going to do about selling a rental or two to get beyond this?  You don't have enough shit to sell to pay those things.  You are a second away from financial ruin.  And the IRS probably really wants the house with $100K of equity ....

What are you waiting for to make  a read decision that matters?

I think we have no other choice than to sell the rental (70k rental).

I wonder what the closing cost would be on it.

I could use Redfin.com but that's only saving 1.5% so it may make more sense to just list it with a local realtor who knows buyers.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 17, 2017, 06:56:05 PM
I think we have no other choice than to sell the rental (70k rental).

I wonder what the closing cost would be on it.

I could use Redfin.com but that's only saving 1.5% so it may make more sense to just list it with a local realtor who knows buyers.

GOOD FOR YOU.  You eyes are open now.  :)

A good realtor is worth her weight in gold.  Find one who will help you with a quick sale to an investor looking for a deal.  Start making the calls tomorrow morning and get the thing sold.

I am so proud of you!  :)

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ketchup on January 17, 2017, 07:07:49 PM
That's great! Go for it! When you talk to the realtor, you can ask about an estimate of closing costs in your area and in your situation. That'll help you solidify your numbers there.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Goldielocks on January 17, 2017, 07:19:23 PM
Second part of my post...  ideas to turn things around.

This is a tricky puzzle, because one good action (selling the rental) results in a reduced cashflow, and selling inlaw property results in a lot of relationship problems...

Let's start at the top -- Goals.  My assumption for Mr. B goals includes in sort of priority order:
1) Getting a positive cashflow each month immediately.  Stop digging a hole.
2)  keeping inlaws in their home.
3)  resolving the roof and property tax issue (to avoid foreclosure / add insurance)
4) Paying off IRS or starting an aggressive repayment plan.
5)  Keeping wife in current home
6)  Starting new business venture


My first instinct is that the Beatles need a fresh slate.  All of this agonizing over debt and payment and expenses is taking a lot of time away from focusing on a new business venture and enjoying life.  In fact, some of the extra spend (TVs) may be related to respite from the stress of dealing with all of this.

A)  Cut expenses by at least $1000 (getting there!)  This is an urgent short term need.

B) Earn more income
In addition to cutting expenses, you need to net quite a bit more income... or slash your current home costs and move to a rental.

This is the basic problem in your situation.  For too many years,you have been living like you earn more, and taking from IRS, Property taxes and 401k to allow you to spend more each month.  Now you don't have a lot of options left.

Quite frankly, making $60k per year, gross, for a family of 4, who wants to live in a nice family home, while buying TV's and furniture, renovations, starting businesses, thinking about vacations, owning cars worth more than 20k, supporting your parents (sometimes)..just isn't going to cut it.  You can afford, like, ONE of these "extras" on your income.   You are far from the income level you need to support your lifestyle as is.

------------------------BIG NEW IDEA ----->  one idea to solve all problems!  ---------
Move the in-laws in with you in your home, and sell the big place.  Charge them a low rent.  That 100k in equity would go a long way to clearing the over $55k in property tax, IRS, new roof, plus $15k or so of consumer debt, plus pay down your mortgage to get rid of the extra mortgage insurance on your primary home, etc.

 Sell it as a way for your wife to not have to work while the kids are young.   They may also choose to rent elsewhere, on their own costs, too.


You keep your car, wife does not need work, you still need to cut expenses but to real life levels instead of cutting to the bone...   your parents will need to wait a while (until wife can work?) before getting repaid, I am afraid.

So -- Can you move your kids into a shared room and free up a room for the In laws?  Because the second place option is to have them give you up to 100k in capital (the equity in the home), which they may not actually have.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 17, 2017, 07:38:37 PM
Second part of my post...  ideas to turn things around.

This is a tricky puzzle, because one good action (selling the rental) results in a reduced cashflow, and selling inlaw property results in a lot of relationship problems...

Let's start at the top -- Goals.  My assumption for Mr. B goals includes in sort of priority order:
1) Getting a positive cashflow each month immediately.  Stop digging a hole.
2)  keeping inlaws in their home.
3)  resolving the roof and property tax issue (to avoid foreclosure / add insurance)
4) Paying off IRS or starting an aggressive repayment plan.
5)  Keeping wife in current home
6)  Starting new business venture


My first instinct is that the Beatles need a fresh slate.  All of this agonizing over debt and payment and expenses is taking a lot of time away from focusing on a new business venture and enjoying life.  In fact, some of the extra spend (TVs) may be related to respite from the stress of dealing with all of this.

A)  Cut expenses by at least $1000 (getting there!)  This is an urgent short term need.

B) Earn more income
In addition to cutting expenses, you need to net quite a bit more income... or slash your current home costs and move to a rental.

This is the basic problem in your situation.  For too many years,you have been living like you earn more, and taking from IRS, Property taxes and 401k to allow you to spend more each month.  Now you don't have a lot of options left.

Quite frankly, making $60k per year, gross, for a family of 4, who wants to live in a nice family home, while buying TV's and furniture, renovations, starting businesses, thinking about vacations, owning cars worth more than 20k, supporting your parents (sometimes)..just isn't going to cut it.  You can afford, like, ONE of these "extras" on your income.   You are far from the income level you need to support your lifestyle as is.

------------------------BIG NEW IDEA ----->  one idea to solve all problems!  ---------
Move the in-laws in with you in your home, and sell the big place.  Charge them a low rent.  That 100k in equity would go a long way to clearing the over $55k in property tax, IRS, new roof, plus $15k or so of consumer debt, plus pay down your mortgage to get rid of the extra mortgage insurance on your primary home, etc.

 Sell it as a way for your wife to not have to work while the kids are young.   They may also choose to rent elsewhere, on their own costs, too.


You keep your car, wife does not need work, you still need to cut expenses but to real life levels instead of cutting to the bone...   your parents will need to wait a while (until wife can work?) before getting repaid, I am afraid.

So -- Can you move your kids into a shared room and free up a room for the In laws?  Because the second place option is to have them give you up to 100k in capital (the equity in the home), which they may not actually have.

First, I appreciate both your posts.

They were awesome.

However, if we sell the rental, I don't think we will need to do anything else.

Selling the rental will reduce our expenses $1,777 per month.

We have already reduced our food expense by 1,000 per month.

This changes our situation in the following way:

> Our take home pay will be reduced to $3,941 /month
> Our expenses will be reduced to $3,246 / month

This will result in a surplus of $695 / month.

If I am missing something, please let me know.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 17, 2017, 07:40:43 PM
Move the in-laws in with you in your home, and sell the big place.
If it were just about the math, I'd agree this makes sense.

But I think a large percent of the beatle problems stem from the beatle parents, with one set doing the economic outpatient deal, and the others modeling the absolute worst in terms of living beyond their means and not being responsible for their actions or debts. (Note: I am not saying they are bad people or unloving parents - but specifically in terms of finances, they didn't set you guys up for success.)

I worry that the influence of living in the same house would send Mrs. Beatle back into the same bad habits she grew up with, and I think the dynamics would get infinitely worse, with her parents guilting them into spending more money on luxury outings or consumer goods.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MDM on January 17, 2017, 07:50:52 PM
> Our take home pay will be reduced to $3,941 /month
Have you checked this number with commercial tax software, or at least the case study spreadsheet (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/forum-information-faqs/case-study-spreadsheet-updates/)?

For what you are doing here, ignore the amount you are currently withholding.  Instead, predict your actual annual income tax liability and use this for budgeting.  Then adjust your W-4 so your actual withholding matches your actual tax liability.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: larmando on January 18, 2017, 03:58:35 AM
I don't know what i'm going to tell my parents about netting $30k from a house they have been $120k into.

You're *not* netting 30k, 30k is what's left over after using some of the money you will net to cover debt (HELOC, property tax debt, broken roof which is also a liability). Anything you'd have to pay if you didn't sell but you won't pay after selling is part of what you're netting. Plus interest.

All in all it's a comparison: open excel and in column A you simulate your NW year by year if you don't sell, if column B if you sell, with the same family spending level. If selling allows you to get out of debt much faster, start accumulating much faster, and at "the end" you are richer, then selling is a no brainer.

From a different pov: If selling then getting out of debt and then building a portfolio that can generate the same income as the rental is faster than not selling, getting out of debt, and actually enjoying that income then you're better off selling.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: larmando on January 18, 2017, 04:01:44 AM
btw, MMM has an article in which he laid out the math on a decision to rent rather than sell a house that he renovated.  His conclusion was that he should have sold and put the money into the market even though he would have sold the house at a loss.  It's worth a read re: your math on your own rental house.

I've seen it.

But don't forget; He would have put it into the market. Not paid off debt.

Paying off debt has a higher rate of return than putting in the market. The market doesn't consistently return 18%, 25%, etc.
After paying off debt you can redirect the debt payment to the market. In his case he didn't have debt to pay off, but had he had some he would have been *even better off* selling.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 18, 2017, 04:22:12 AM
Second part of my post...  ideas to turn things around.

This is a tricky puzzle, because one good action (selling the rental) results in a reduced cashflow, and selling inlaw property results in a lot of relationship problems...

Let's start at the top -- Goals.  My assumption for Mr. B goals includes in sort of priority order:
1) Getting a positive cashflow each month immediately.  Stop digging a hole.
2)  keeping inlaws in their home.
3)  resolving the roof and property tax issue (to avoid foreclosure / add insurance)
4) Paying off IRS or starting an aggressive repayment plan.
5)  Keeping wife in current home
6)  Starting new business venture


My first instinct is that the Beatles need a fresh slate.  All of this agonizing over debt and payment and expenses is taking a lot of time away from focusing on a new business venture and enjoying life.  In fact, some of the extra spend (TVs) may be related to respite from the stress of dealing with all of this.

A)  Cut expenses by at least $1000 (getting there!)  This is an urgent short term need.

B) Earn more income
In addition to cutting expenses, you need to net quite a bit more income... or slash your current home costs and move to a rental.

This is the basic problem in your situation.  For too many years,you have been living like you earn more, and taking from IRS, Property taxes and 401k to allow you to spend more each month.  Now you don't have a lot of options left.

Quite frankly, making $60k per year, gross, for a family of 4, who wants to live in a nice family home, while buying TV's and furniture, renovations, starting businesses, thinking about vacations, owning cars worth more than 20k, supporting your parents (sometimes)..just isn't going to cut it.  You can afford, like, ONE of these "extras" on your income.   You are far from the income level you need to support your lifestyle as is.

------------------------BIG NEW IDEA ----->  one idea to solve all problems!  ---------
Move the in-laws in with you in your home, and sell the big place.  Charge them a low rent.  That 100k in equity would go a long way to clearing the over $55k in property tax, IRS, new roof, plus $15k or so of consumer debt, plus pay down your mortgage to get rid of the extra mortgage insurance on your primary home, etc.

 Sell it as a way for your wife to not have to work while the kids are young.   They may also choose to rent elsewhere, on their own costs, too.


You keep your car, wife does not need work, you still need to cut expenses but to real life levels instead of cutting to the bone...   your parents will need to wait a while (until wife can work?) before getting repaid, I am afraid.

So -- Can you move your kids into a shared room and free up a room for the In laws?  Because the second place option is to have them give you up to 100k in capital (the equity in the home), which they may not actually have.

First, I appreciate both your posts.

They were awesome.

However, if we sell the rental, I don't think we will need to do anything else.

Selling the rental will reduce our expenses $1,777 per month.

We have already reduced our food expense by 1,000 per month.

This changes our situation in the following way:

> Our take home pay will be reduced to $3,941 /month
> Our expenses will be reduced to $3,246 / month

This will result in a surplus of $695 / month.

If I am missing something, please let me know.

Yes- you are. How are you going to pay the $40K to the IRS and $60K in high interest credit cards?  Why are you still considering letting your in-laws stay in the big house and enabling them to continue to leach off of your immediate family, teach your kids that they must provide a swanky home for their parents while struggling themselves, enabling them to evade what they owe to the IRS (and teach your kids that is okay too),and have your parents subsidize her parents.

If you wfe is the one that doesn't want to kick the parents out - she needs to get a job, drop the kids off there everyday for childcare, and help you pay down all of that debt.  Why isn't that a good daycare solution if you are enabling them to live in the lap of luxury that you cannot afford?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: larmando on January 18, 2017, 05:09:52 AM
For fucks sake...

The other rental is a home we owned in the past.

I actually mentioned it in this very thread, several pages ago, but left out the part that we still own it.

It's worth about $300k, and with mortgage/heloc included we owe about $200k.

It is a 2,500 sq foot house with a 1,000 sq foot apartment that is detached from the primary home, but shares a driveway.

The monthly payment was simply too much which is why we moved out.

We were going to sell the property but then my wifes family needed a place to live so a deal was worked out where they could live and just assume the bills for that property.

So we pay NOTHING over there.

It's all on them.

That's why it doesn't matter and it wasn't worth bringing up.

Fuck.

Ok, so they pay the mortgage, heloc, property tax, upkeep, etc. But you're still financing them to live there to the tune of 100k*(interest rate) to live there, since you don't have a return on equity. (ok you might if by paying down the mortgage they increase your equity). Either way it's not an entirely "free" situation and your current cost of equity is about 18-25%. It might still be that you can't afford to let them live there.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Friar on January 18, 2017, 05:13:34 AM
However, if we sell the rental, I don't think we will need to do anything else.

I believe this is part of the problem. You don't appear to have a plan to maintain a good state of affairs once you're out of the "hair on fire" emergency.

From what I read you're not treating your situation with the gravity that it respects. Perhaps because your parents/in-laws have been helping (read: bailing you out) for years you feel that's always an option in the future. It's not guaranteed.

Without changing your habits for the better you're almost guaranteed to fall back into the same routine and potentially back to the situation you find yourselves in currently.

Sorting out the taxes/debt etc. is only the first step.

Imagine not having to rely on the parents, not having to feel indebted to them for bailing you out, not having to go to bed with the, very real, concern that your family could very quickly end up homeless. This is what financial freedom gives you. This is why you need to be looking long and hard at your priorities.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 18, 2017, 05:22:04 AM
Acknowledging that you need to sell the rental is a big step: congratulations.  How soon can you call an estate agent and get it on sale?

I am sorry that the $100k which would get you out of all your debt and kick-start an investing habit is being held hostage to your in laws' desire to save face and live large at your (and the taxpayers') expense.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 06:16:18 AM
Second part of my post...  ideas to turn things around.

This is a tricky puzzle, because one good action (selling the rental) results in a reduced cashflow, and selling inlaw property results in a lot of relationship problems...

Let's start at the top -- Goals.  My assumption for Mr. B goals includes in sort of priority order:
1) Getting a positive cashflow each month immediately.  Stop digging a hole.
2)  keeping inlaws in their home.
3)  resolving the roof and property tax issue (to avoid foreclosure / add insurance)
4) Paying off IRS or starting an aggressive repayment plan.
5)  Keeping wife in current home
6)  Starting new business venture


My first instinct is that the Beatles need a fresh slate.  All of this agonizing over debt and payment and expenses is taking a lot of time away from focusing on a new business venture and enjoying life.  In fact, some of the extra spend (TVs) may be related to respite from the stress of dealing with all of this.

A)  Cut expenses by at least $1000 (getting there!)  This is an urgent short term need.

B) Earn more income
In addition to cutting expenses, you need to net quite a bit more income... or slash your current home costs and move to a rental.

This is the basic problem in your situation.  For too many years,you have been living like you earn more, and taking from IRS, Property taxes and 401k to allow you to spend more each month.  Now you don't have a lot of options left.

Quite frankly, making $60k per year, gross, for a family of 4, who wants to live in a nice family home, while buying TV's and furniture, renovations, starting businesses, thinking about vacations, owning cars worth more than 20k, supporting your parents (sometimes)..just isn't going to cut it.  You can afford, like, ONE of these "extras" on your income.   You are far from the income level you need to support your lifestyle as is.

------------------------BIG NEW IDEA ----->  one idea to solve all problems!  ---------
Move the in-laws in with you in your home, and sell the big place.  Charge them a low rent.  That 100k in equity would go a long way to clearing the over $55k in property tax, IRS, new roof, plus $15k or so of consumer debt, plus pay down your mortgage to get rid of the extra mortgage insurance on your primary home, etc.

 Sell it as a way for your wife to not have to work while the kids are young.   They may also choose to rent elsewhere, on their own costs, too.


You keep your car, wife does not need work, you still need to cut expenses but to real life levels instead of cutting to the bone...   your parents will need to wait a while (until wife can work?) before getting repaid, I am afraid.

So -- Can you move your kids into a shared room and free up a room for the In laws?  Because the second place option is to have them give you up to 100k in capital (the equity in the home), which they may not actually have.

First, I appreciate both your posts.

They were awesome.

However, if we sell the rental, I don't think we will need to do anything else.

Selling the rental will reduce our expenses $1,777 per month.

We have already reduced our food expense by 1,000 per month.

This changes our situation in the following way:

> Our take home pay will be reduced to $3,941 /month
> Our expenses will be reduced to $3,246 / month

This will result in a surplus of $695 / month.

If I am missing something, please let me know.

Yes- you are. How are you going to pay the $40K to the IRS and $60K in high interest credit cards?  Why are you still considering letting your in-laws stay in the big house and enabling them to continue to leach off of your immediate family, teach your kids that they must provide a swanky home for their parents while struggling themselves, enabling them to evade what they owe to the IRS (and teach your kids that is okay too),and have your parents subsidize her parents.

If you wfe is the one that doesn't want to kick the parents out - she needs to get a job, drop the kids off there everyday for childcare, and help you pay down all of that debt.  Why isn't that a good daycare solution if you are enabling them to live in the lap of luxury that you cannot afford?

Please explain where you got $60k in credit cards from.

Seller our lesser rental would pay off every debt we have except for IRS (which is in the process of being taken care of).
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 18, 2017, 06:24:02 AM
Second part of my post...  ideas to turn things around.

This is a tricky puzzle, because one good action (selling the rental) results in a reduced cashflow, and selling inlaw property results in a lot of relationship problems...

Let's start at the top -- Goals.  My assumption for Mr. B goals includes in sort of priority order:
1) Getting a positive cashflow each month immediately.  Stop digging a hole.
2)  keeping inlaws in their home.
3)  resolving the roof and property tax issue (to avoid foreclosure / add insurance)
4) Paying off IRS or starting an aggressive repayment plan.
5)  Keeping wife in current home
6)  Starting new business venture


My first instinct is that the Beatles need a fresh slate.  All of this agonizing over debt and payment and expenses is taking a lot of time away from focusing on a new business venture and enjoying life.  In fact, some of the extra spend (TVs) may be related to respite from the stress of dealing with all of this.

A)  Cut expenses by at least $1000 (getting there!)  This is an urgent short term need.

B) Earn more income
In addition to cutting expenses, you need to net quite a bit more income... or slash your current home costs and move to a rental.

This is the basic problem in your situation.  For too many years,you have been living like you earn more, and taking from IRS, Property taxes and 401k to allow you to spend more each month.  Now you don't have a lot of options left.

Quite frankly, making $60k per year, gross, for a family of 4, who wants to live in a nice family home, while buying TV's and furniture, renovations, starting businesses, thinking about vacations, owning cars worth more than 20k, supporting your parents (sometimes)..just isn't going to cut it.  You can afford, like, ONE of these "extras" on your income.   You are far from the income level you need to support your lifestyle as is.

------------------------BIG NEW IDEA ----->  one idea to solve all problems!  ---------
Move the in-laws in with you in your home, and sell the big place.  Charge them a low rent.  That 100k in equity would go a long way to clearing the over $55k in property tax, IRS, new roof, plus $15k or so of consumer debt, plus pay down your mortgage to get rid of the extra mortgage insurance on your primary home, etc.

 Sell it as a way for your wife to not have to work while the kids are young.   They may also choose to rent elsewhere, on their own costs, too.


You keep your car, wife does not need work, you still need to cut expenses but to real life levels instead of cutting to the bone...   your parents will need to wait a while (until wife can work?) before getting repaid, I am afraid.

So -- Can you move your kids into a shared room and free up a room for the In laws?  Because the second place option is to have them give you up to 100k in capital (the equity in the home), which they may not actually have.

First, I appreciate both your posts.

They were awesome.

However, if we sell the rental, I don't think we will need to do anything else.

Selling the rental will reduce our expenses $1,777 per month.

We have already reduced our food expense by 1,000 per month.

This changes our situation in the following way:

> Our take home pay will be reduced to $3,941 /month
> Our expenses will be reduced to $3,246 / month

This will result in a surplus of $695 / month.

If I am missing something, please let me know.

Yes- you are. How are you going to pay the $40K to the IRS and $60K in high interest credit cards?  Why are you still considering letting your in-laws stay in the big house and enabling them to continue to leach off of your immediate family, teach your kids that they must provide a swanky home for their parents while struggling themselves, enabling them to evade what they owe to the IRS (and teach your kids that is okay too),and have your parents subsidize her parents.

If you wfe is the one that doesn't want to kick the parents out - she needs to get a job, drop the kids off there everyday for childcare, and help you pay down all of that debt.  Why isn't that a good daycare solution if you are enabling them to live in the lap of luxury that you cannot afford?

Please explain where you got $60k in credit cards from.

Seller our lesser rental would pay off every debt we have except for IRS (which is in the process of being taken care of).

How is it being taken care of?  Sorry if I missed the solution to that problem.

And, again, I don't know why you are letting your in-laws leach from your immediate family and the US tax payers.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Jakejake on January 18, 2017, 06:31:04 AM
I have a small question from the first post, insignificant in the big picture, I know.

"AUTO LOAN   393   3591   6.54%"  From that it looks like you still owe $3,591 on the car.

But lower in the same post I see this: "Car – Owe $4,500"

Why's it off by a thousand?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: larmando on January 18, 2017, 06:33:44 AM
The kids sleep in sleeping bags in a an area you set aside for them - or in a corner of your room.  A 1000 sf apartment is huge for one bedroom.  If it has a dining room and a breakfast room - turn the dining room into their bedroom and curtain it off.  It is quite doable.  Make sure your wife goes to work and then the in-laws can do the day care as part of their living arrangements.  Get creative.  99% of the world sleeps with large families in a fraction of that space.

Indeed, wow! My 2-bedroom is smaller than that, and I have pretty big rooms.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: FrugalFan on January 18, 2017, 07:23:03 AM
I agree with Beatles that selling the smaller rental makes sense right now. It will take care of a lot of the problems, and to me is the biggest risk. The risk of liability from lack of insurance, and the risk of losing all the equity in it due to back taxes owed. It does not come with complicated family relationships. Obviously, the larger rental will be an issue to deal with in the future, but just selling this rental will take care of a lot of the high interest debt and increase cash flow. It's the easiest route to a big change in your financial picture.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: LadyMuMu on January 18, 2017, 07:46:12 AM
I second the idea of selling the lesser rental.

But beatles, one word of caution. I think you have a habit of taking part of an action and considering the problem solved. Example, you said you've cut your grocery budget by $1000. You've only been here a few weeks. You may have changed the number on a spreadsheet but you haven't actually LIVED with a lower grocery budget. The steps of cutting a budget are:

1. Evaluate spending and cut fat (done)
2. Set new goal (done)
3. Set up milestones for checking in to see if spending matches budget--ideally daily or weekly until you're used to the new habit
4. Do a comprehensive evaluation at the end of a month or two weeks.
5. Evaluate spending and cut fat
6. Set new goal...

The fact is that it often takes several cycles to actually make your original goal. Old habits creep in, you forget about certain big necessary items, you run out of stores in your pantry/freezer, etc. Just look at how many of us money hippies have admitted that this thread makes us realize that our own grocery budgets have crept away from our goals--and we're the money hippies!! Also, once you've economized, then you may see easy ways to economize further with ease. Why not? In any case, it requires vigilance and periodic evaluation.

Same is true if you sell the rental. Yes, you will cut out a bunch of bills hanging over you right now. But past behavior is the greatest predictor of future behavior. In the past when your parents have solved problems with an influx of cash, you've slipped back into debt spending, right? To avoid that again with the influx of cash from the rental sale, you'll need to keep goal setting, keep evaluating, keep meeting milestones. You asked earlier why it should take so much TIME to economize that you couldn't do other ventures--this is why.

I know you can do this--you're just going to need to be vigilant. This board is here to help you with that. Oh, and anyone who can create an index to his own thread on the first post can absolutely manage working with a debt repayment plan! That was awesome!

 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 07:51:55 AM

How is it being taken care of?  Sorry if I missed the solution to that problem.

And, again, I don't know why you are letting your in-laws leach from your immediate family and the US tax payers.

No worries.

My accountant said he could negotiate it lower and then split it into a 4-5 year term.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 07:59:50 AM
I second the idea of selling the lesser rental.

But beatles, one word of caution. I think you have a habit of taking part of an action and considering the problem solved. Example, you said you've cut your grocery budget by $1000. You've only been here a few weeks. You may have changed the number on a spreadsheet but you haven't actually LIVED with a lower grocery budget. The steps of cutting a budget are:

1. Evaluate spending and cut fat (done)
2. Set new goal (done)
3. Set up milestones for checking in to see if spending matches budget--ideally daily or weekly until you're used to the new habit
4. Do a comprehensive evaluation at the end of a month or two weeks.
5. Evaluate spending and cut fat
6. Set new goal...

The fact is that it often takes several cycles to actually make your original goal. Old habits creep in, you forget about certain big necessary items, you run out of stores in your pantry/freezer, etc. Just look at how many of us money hippies have admitted that this thread makes us realize that our own grocery budgets have crept away from our goals--and we're the money hippies!! Also, once you've economized, then you may see easy ways to economize further with ease. Why not? In any case, it requires vigilance and periodic evaluation.

Same is true if you sell the rental. Yes, you will cut out a bunch of bills hanging over you right now. But past behavior is the greatest predictor of future behavior. In the past when your parents have solved problems with an influx of cash, you've slipped back into debt spending, right? To avoid that again with the influx of cash from the rental sale, you'll need to keep goal setting, keep evaluating, keep meeting milestones. You asked earlier why it should take so much TIME to economize that you couldn't do other ventures--this is why.

I know you can do this--you're just going to need to be vigilant. This board is here to help you with that. Oh, and anyone who can create an index to his own thread on the first post can absolutely manage working with a debt repayment plan! That was awesome!

We actually have!

We have not shopped for groceries since I started this case study.

Well, we did buy milk, applesauce, bread and a couple other staples. But that's it.

We skipped last weeks shopping and ate what we could out of the pantry and freezer.

Today is our 1st shopping trip since joining, and my wife is bringing $100 to spend.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 18, 2017, 08:05:16 AM
However, if we sell the rental, I don't think we will need to do anything else.

Selling the rental will reduce our expenses $1,777 per month.

We have already reduced our food expense by 1,000 per month.

This changes our situation in the following way:

> Our take home pay will be reduced to $3,941 /month
> Our expenses will be reduced to $3,246 / month

This will result in a surplus of $695 / month.

If I am missing something, please let me know.

The beatles,

Buddy, hey, is there something you are not telling us?  Selling the small rental is a GREAT step in the right direction, and I commend you for waking up and smelling the coffee, but selling the large rental, too, would literally solve all of your problems.  Literally. You could pay off everything to everybody.  You could keep your cars, furniture, televisions, and garage full of stuff, and it would all be paid off.

You could even keep your current house.  You would still have a mortgage.

What would THAT do to your monthly expenses???

But there is something else, and we need to know what it is.  The first time I brought this up as the solution to your financial problems, and an immediate one at that, you said your wife would divorce you.

So what is the back story? 

I cannot imagine my wife wanting to divorce me for liquidating six figures of cash when we are trying to survive and owing multiple tax authorities in ways that could bring everything crashing down, even IF her parents were involved.  She, quite simply, would never see our obligation to them as tying up six figures of cash to keep them in marble, heated floor, luxury.  Also, the fact that they have the money each month to pay all of the expenses for that place, which YOU could NOT afford, means that they will be ok. 

If you or your wife think they will not be ok, then help us understand WHY they won't be ok?  The first excuse, they owe the IRS, is not going to matter one bit to most real estate investors, who will be happy to rent them a place.  Is this just a matter of the inlaws being whiny and your wife not wanting to hear about it from them?  Are the inlaws controlling over their daughter?  What?

So what is the deal?  Your wife's one post, above, really did not illuminate the situation any further.  You mentioned she was upset by reading this thread.  So what is going on?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RamonaQ on January 18, 2017, 08:11:46 AM
Are you 100% certain that your in-laws are up-to-date on the mortgage and property taxes for the house they are living in? If they have a $100k tax bill they've clearly not paid on obligations before. I'm sure they have good intentions but I'd be very nervous having my finances and credit depending on them. It could be a really nasty surprise for you if they got behind. Not that they'd try to screw you over, but I could see them getting behind, intending to catch up, not telling you, and having it snowball out of control.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 18, 2017, 08:17:49 AM
We have not shopped for groceries since I started this case study.

Well, we did buy milk, applesauce, bread and a couple other staples. But that's it.

We skipped last weeks shopping and ate what we could out of the pantry and freezer.

Today is our 1st shopping trip since joining, and my wife is bringing $100 to spend.
  I noticed that, and it is a good investment in your future.  Pay attention to what others are telling you, though.  It is going to take weekly reassessment on where you are at on the grocery budget and where you are going, or old habits will creep back in more quickly than you might guess.  How does the wife feel about the new budget for groceries?  Is she fully on board, or does she have reservations?  Her attitude toward this part of the venture is going to be more important to success than yours, since she is the stay at home mom.


Also, eating out?  A hundred bucks a month?  If I am reading correctly, your budget has only a hundred  bucks of wiggle room, and that is IF you do not have to buy kids' shoes or anything else that the budget does not account for.   Let's assume everything goes as planned for the first month.  Simply staying the hell out of restaurants for that month will DOUBLE your wiggle room to $200.  This is a 100% increase, instantly.  Think about it. 

As somebody else posted, Dave Ramsey saying, the only time you should see the inside of a restaurant is when you are working your side job there earning money.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 18, 2017, 08:21:44 AM
Second part of my post...  ideas to turn things around.

This is a tricky puzzle, because one good action (selling the rental) results in a reduced cashflow, and selling inlaw property results in a lot of relationship problems...

Let's start at the top -- Goals.  My assumption for Mr. B goals includes in sort of priority order:
1) Getting a positive cashflow each month immediately.  Stop digging a hole.
2)  keeping inlaws in their home.
3)  resolving the roof and property tax issue (to avoid foreclosure / add insurance)
4) Paying off IRS or starting an aggressive repayment plan.
5)  Keeping wife in current home
6)  Starting new business venture


My first instinct is that the Beatles need a fresh slate.  All of this agonizing over debt and payment and expenses is taking a lot of time away from focusing on a new business venture and enjoying life.  In fact, some of the extra spend (TVs) may be related to respite from the stress of dealing with all of this.

A)  Cut expenses by at least $1000 (getting there!)  This is an urgent short term need.

B) Earn more income
In addition to cutting expenses, you need to net quite a bit more income... or slash your current home costs and move to a rental.

This is the basic problem in your situation.  For too many years,you have been living like you earn more, and taking from IRS, Property taxes and 401k to allow you to spend more each month.  Now you don't have a lot of options left.

Quite frankly, making $60k per year, gross, for a family of 4, who wants to live in a nice family home, while buying TV's and furniture, renovations, starting businesses, thinking about vacations, owning cars worth more than 20k, supporting your parents (sometimes)..just isn't going to cut it.  You can afford, like, ONE of these "extras" on your income.   You are far from the income level you need to support your lifestyle as is.

------------------------BIG NEW IDEA ----->  one idea to solve all problems!  ---------
Move the in-laws in with you in your home, and sell the big place.  Charge them a low rent.  That 100k in equity would go a long way to clearing the over $55k in property tax, IRS, new roof, plus $15k or so of consumer debt, plus pay down your mortgage to get rid of the extra mortgage insurance on your primary home, etc.

 Sell it as a way for your wife to not have to work while the kids are young.   They may also choose to rent elsewhere, on their own costs, too.


You keep your car, wife does not need work, you still need to cut expenses but to real life levels instead of cutting to the bone...   your parents will need to wait a while (until wife can work?) before getting repaid, I am afraid.

So -- Can you move your kids into a shared room and free up a room for the In laws?  Because the second place option is to have them give you up to 100k in capital (the equity in the home), which they may not actually have.

First, I appreciate both your posts.

They were awesome.

However, if we sell the rental, I don't think we will need to do anything else.

Selling the rental will reduce our expenses $1,777 per month.

We have already reduced our food expense by 1,000 per month.

This changes our situation in the following way:

> Our take home pay will be reduced to $3,941 /month
> Our expenses will be reduced to $3,246 / month

This will result in a surplus of $695 / month.

If I am missing something, please let me know.

And that still leaves the IRS debt - which is likely to suck up that supposed surplus.  Can your wife deliver pizzas?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Poundwise on January 18, 2017, 08:30:09 AM
I haven't read the last few pages that closely, but I would like to applaud Mr. Beatles for coming at last to the very uncomfortable decision to sell one of his properties (and applause to the very giving people who have cajoled and pummeled him to this decision, as well!)

Along with others, I would also  like to suggest that the Beatles add to their list
Quote
Our goal is to:

1) Pay off every ounce of debt we have.

2) Save a lot of money and feel finanically secure (at least $25k in readily accessible funds).

the following goal:
3) Never live beyond our means again.

Please keep us updated on the steps you are taking to make the sale (i.e. contacting realtors, contacting tenants,  talking to your parents, etc.) Your focus should now be on figuring out how to get the most profit out of your rental sale.

Mrs. Beatles can help today by calling up CC companies and negotiating lower rates, if she can. I personally find that when I make "squeaky wheel" calls, it can be helpful to have the sound of babies in the background.  CSRs are often charmed by little kid voices, and feel sorry for me if the children are crying! I get good deals. :)

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: mad9q on January 18, 2017, 08:43:13 AM
You might want to read the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud.  From what you have shared, it sounds like you have boundary issues with both sets of parents. 

You sound like a loving and caring father and husband that needs to really look at what his wife is saying with her actions about that house.  If my DH would not even entertain the idea of selling to alleviate our financial crisis, I would seriously question his loyalty to me and our children.  It may be that your wife does not see this as a crisis (perhaps because her own family owes six figures to the IRS) but her opinion does not change reality.   

My best to you.  I hope you can get a plan in place so you can have peace.   
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 18, 2017, 09:33:28 AM
You might want to read the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud.  From what you have shared, it sounds like you have boundary issues with both sets of parents. 

You sound like a loving and caring father and husband that needs to really look at what his wife is saying with her actions about that house.  If my DH would not even entertain the idea of selling to alleviate our financial crisis, I would seriously question his loyalty to me and our children.  It may be that your wife does not see this as a crisis (perhaps because her own family owes six figures to the IRS) but her opinion does not change reality.   

My best to you.  I hope you can get a plan in place so you can have peace.   

+1000000  But I have to bow out now.  I think that the beatles have so many emotional issues tied to their finances and financial entanglement with family  that they are going to be unable to resolve the financial issues until they resolve the fundamental emotional issues first.  And they have to want to resolve those.

1.) I would feel betrayed if my husband even suggested having family move into a house we could not afford to make payments on and that has $100K in equity in it - especially in a situation where our immediate family has its hair on fire.  I would go so far as to say it would be a matter of divorce for me.

2.) It would be divorce on the spot if my husband suggested enabling his family members to avoid paying legitimate IRS debt under any circumstances. - and especially so when it meant our immediate family suffered.

3.) I wouldn't want my children around grandparents that are evading paying taxes they owe to the IRS - it suggests so much else unethical about their character - including not bucking up and working out a plan to pay.

4.) I couldn't take money from any family member no matter how wealthy to bail me out.  Ever.  And I could not respect my husband if he did it.  How can a adult MAN or adult WOMAN command respect from their spouse or anyone else when mommy and daddy are paying their bills?  I don't want to crawl in bed each night with a child.  I want an adult as my partner.

5.) I think Mrs. Beatles thinks that her in-laws are rich and that they should just take the money they need from them. That is what I got out of her pathetic, woe is me, blame everyone else post.  As long as she thinks this no budget effort is going to work.

6.) Mrs. Beatles could work nights and weekends but isn't.  If we were in this position I would be working every hour I could when my spouse were home.

Given all of this - no amount of help here will resolve their issues.  And I've spend way too much time and emotional energy in it already. 

Good luck.  I do hope you guys make it be sincerely doubt you will.



Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 18, 2017, 09:48:40 AM
Very good observations, IPLawyer.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Tyson on January 18, 2017, 10:07:05 AM
As someone that struggled with debt in the past and who has accepted help from my parents, my advice is to divest everything, sell it all, pay everything you can and stop accepting help from your parents.

Here's the problem I noted when I was accepting help and why it fed my debt problem.  It created the illusion for me that our family was better of than it actually was.  So we'd get cool things or nice bits of $$ and we'd buy things that made us feel "well off", and that fed our overall spending and led to lifestyle inflation. 

Also, every time you accept help, theres an obligation created, an emotional one.  As you see here.  Nothing is ever free or 'no strings attached', even with well intentioned givers.  As you see here.  Cut ties, sell everything you can and start living within your actual means.  It's a bit of a shock at first, but you'll never dig out of this hole otherwise.

I say this as someone that had a lot of debt, paid it off (with help), and then promptly ran up debt again.  It was only when I stopped taking help that the budget stuck and our financial situation improved for the long term.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 10:07:42 AM
You might want to read the book Boundaries by Henry Cloud.  From what you have shared, it sounds like you have boundary issues with both sets of parents. 

You sound like a loving and caring father and husband that needs to really look at what his wife is saying with her actions about that house.  If my DH would not even entertain the idea of selling to alleviate our financial crisis, I would seriously question his loyalty to me and our children.  It may be that your wife does not see this as a crisis (perhaps because her own family owes six figures to the IRS) but her opinion does not change reality.   

My best to you.  I hope you can get a plan in place so you can have peace.   

+1000000  But I have to bow out now.  I think that the beatles have so many emotional issues tied to their finances and financial entanglement with family  that they are going to be unable to resolve the financial issues until they resolve the fundamental emotional issues first.  And they have to want to resolve those.

1.) I would feel betrayed if my husband even suggested having family move into a house we could not afford to make payments on and that has $100K in equity in it - especially in a situation where our immediate family has its hair on fire.  I would go so far as to say it would be a matter of divorce for me.

2.) It would be divorce on the spot if my husband suggested enabling his family members to avoid paying legitimate IRS debt under any circumstances. - and especially so when it meant our immediate family suffered.

3.) I wouldn't want my children around grandparents that are evading paying taxes they owe to the IRS - it suggests so much else unethical about their character - including not bucking up and working out a plan to pay.

4.) I couldn't take money from any family member no matter how wealthy to bail me out.  Ever.  And I could not respect my husband if he did it.  How can a adult MAN or adult WOMAN command respect from their spouse or anyone else when mommy and daddy are paying their bills?  I don't want to crawl in bed each night with a child.  I want an adult as my partner.

5.) I think Mrs. Beatles thinks that her in-laws are rich and that they should just take the money they need from them. That is what I got out of her pathetic, woe is me, blame everyone else post.  As long as she thinks this no budget effort is going to work.

6.) Mrs. Beatles could work nights and weekends but isn't.  If we were in this position I would be working every hour I could when my spouse were home.

Given all of this - no amount of help here will resolve their issues.  And I've spend way too much time and emotional energy in it already. 

Good luck.  I do hope you guys make it be sincerely doubt you will.

You show bow out of this thread because you keep giving false facts and figures. Therefore it's impossible to listen to your advice.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 10:10:11 AM
However, if we sell the rental, I don't think we will need to do anything else.

Selling the rental will reduce our expenses $1,777 per month.

We have already reduced our food expense by 1,000 per month.

This changes our situation in the following way:

> Our take home pay will be reduced to $3,941 /month
> Our expenses will be reduced to $3,246 / month

This will result in a surplus of $695 / month.

If I am missing something, please let me know.

The beatles,

Buddy, hey, is there something you are not telling us?  Selling the small rental is a GREAT step in the right direction, and I commend you for waking up and smelling the coffee, but selling the large rental, too, would literally solve all of your problems.  Literally. You could pay off everything to everybody.  You could keep your cars, furniture, televisions, and garage full of stuff, and it would all be paid off.

You could even keep your current house.  You would still have a mortgage.

What would THAT do to your monthly expenses???

But there is something else, and we need to know what it is.  The first time I brought this up as the solution to your financial problems, and an immediate one at that, you said your wife would divorce you.

So what is the back story? 

I cannot imagine my wife wanting to divorce me for liquidating six figures of cash when we are trying to survive and owing multiple tax authorities in ways that could bring everything crashing down, even IF her parents were involved.  She, quite simply, would never see our obligation to them as tying up six figures of cash to keep them in marble, heated floor, luxury.  Also, the fact that they have the money each month to pay all of the expenses for that place, which YOU could NOT afford, means that they will be ok. 

If you or your wife think they will not be ok, then help us understand WHY they won't be ok?  The first excuse, they owe the IRS, is not going to matter one bit to most real estate investors, who will be happy to rent them a place.  Is this just a matter of the inlaws being whiny and your wife not wanting to hear about it from them?  Are the inlaws controlling over their daughter?  What?

So what is the deal?  Your wife's one post, above, really did not illuminate the situation any further.  You mentioned she was upset by reading this thread.  So what is going on?

Nope, nothing hidden.

It's just not something she is willing to do to her family.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 18, 2017, 10:15:21 AM
Nope, nothing hidden.

It's just not something she is willing to do to her family.
  Can you share with us any idea why?  I ask because I gather the following from what you wrote.  They have plenty of money coming in each month.  Indeed, they are paying more than a couple grand a month to live there, between mortgage payments, taxes, utilities, and so on.

Indeed, this place was so expensive to live in that you could not live there, right?

So what is it exactly, that your wife thinks you would be doing to her family to have them seek another high priced (or low priced) place to live?

How long does this obligation they have on you and your wife and your children continue?

That last one is a very important question, but they all are.  Help us understand, please.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: CheapScholar on January 18, 2017, 10:21:26 AM
Those are some good observations, although I'd say let's not be so critical of Mrs. Beatles considering it was Beatles himself who came on here looking for advice.  Mrs. Beatles may not have realized how bad her financial situation is until recently.  Honestly, I suspect she still doesn't have a clear understanding of just how BAD this is, so maybe cut her some slack.  In her mind, having some debt issues is just the typical American way.  Most Americans don't save anywhere near the rate of people on this board, many don't think about retirement until their fifties.  I can see how some people with massive money problems like the Beatles clan just try to stop thinking about money and hope the IRS or county, or creditors, doesn't take it all away on any given day.  Me, I'm a little prone to anxiety.  If I were in their position I would honestly freak the eff out and probably need to be hospitalized. I'm not "financially independent" under the MMM definition, but I'm pretty comfortable considering I own nearly half the value of my home, and have about 175K in retirement accounts/investments/cash.  I'm 36 and I have a realistic chance of retiring before 50.  And I've made my share of blunders.

I think what happened is Beatles himself started to do a little math in his head.  He started to realize he is in a very precarious space.  I suspect maybe he had trouble sleeping at night.  I suspect that every bankruptcy commercial on tv scared the living sh#t out of him.  I suspect that he had visions of telling his kids there will be no money for college.  So he wised up and sought advice.  Until the Mrs. is willing to accept how bad the situation is, nothing will change.  It's a total mess and it's tangled up with 2 sets of inlaws.  One set is ostensibly subsidizing the other.  There's just no other way to look at it.  Mrs. Beatles, if you're still reading this thread, please consider reading a book by Dave Ramsey as others suggested.  There's a lot of noise here.  Some of it is harsh, but it's mostly good.  You desperately need to have a hard conversation with your parents.  You need to help save every cent you possibly can over the next 5 years, and you need to help bring in revenue somehow. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Tyson on January 18, 2017, 10:22:09 AM
If the inlaws are paying all the bills to the big house, why not just sell it to them?  Their costs will remain the same every month and you get your equity out.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ShoulderThingThatGoesUp on January 18, 2017, 10:25:51 AM
If the inlaws are paying all the bills to the big house, why not just sell it to them?  Their costs will remain the same every month and you get your equity out.

Because if the in-laws appear to have any assets the IRS will take them.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 18, 2017, 10:28:08 AM

It's just not something she is willing to do to her family.

I though I had bowed out a few days ago, but I have to respond to this.  And rephrase what you said.

She is not willing to do this to her parents.  She IS willing to do it to HER FAMILY.  Because you and the kids are her primary family.

Years ago I was at the wedding of two friends who were just graduating university.  The priest pointed out that when you get married, the fancy wording means that you and your spouse are now each other's primary family.  "Forsaking all others" means your parents are lower on your priority scale than your spouse and future children.

So let us be clear here.  She is willing to have her primary family people, including her children, be massively in debt and at risk of a lawsuit (until the rental gets sold).  She is also willing to have her third priority family (your parents, so your second priority family people) keep giving the 2 of you money.

All this is so that her secondary priority family people can live in luxury.

Financially what you need to do is clear.  Sell both houses.  To any buyer.  Cut the financial strings with both sets of parents.  Of course that is the hard part.

You two don't need us.  You need a marriage counselor.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Tyson on January 18, 2017, 10:31:03 AM
If the inlaws are paying all the bills to the big house, why not just sell it to them?  Their costs will remain the same every month and you get your equity out.

Because if the in-laws appear to have any assets the IRS will take them.

Wait, what?  I read through the thread but I missed that.  What's the deal?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ketchup on January 18, 2017, 10:34:32 AM
If the inlaws are paying all the bills to the big house, why not just sell it to them?  Their costs will remain the same every month and you get your equity out.

Because if the in-laws appear to have any assets the IRS will take them.

Wait, what?  I read through the thread but I missed that.  What's the deal?
In-laws owe six figures in back taxes.

Beatles could potentially get the equity out with a cash-out refi (if his credit isn't shot, which it very well may be).  Then the payment would go up a bit, forcing in-laws to pay for the equity they were tying up before.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 10:34:56 AM
If the inlaws are paying all the bills to the big house, why not just sell it to them?  Their costs will remain the same every month and you get your equity out.

Because if the in-laws appear to have any assets the IRS will take them.

Wait, what?  I read through the thread but I missed that.  What's the deal?

People are looking too far into it.

In-laws, like millions of Americans, can not own property because they have past due taxes owed.

So they rent.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BeanCounter on January 18, 2017, 10:35:48 AM

It's just not something she is willing to do to her family.

I though I had bowed out a few days ago, but I have to respond to this.  And rephrase what you said.

She is not willing to do this to her parents.  She IS willing to do it to HER FAMILY.  Because you and the kids are her primary family.

Years ago I was at the wedding of two friends who were just graduating university.  The priest pointed out that when you get married, the fancy wording means that you and your spouse are now each other's primary family.  "Forsaking all others" means your parents are lower on your priority scale than your spouse and future children.

So let us be clear here.  She is willing to have her primary family people, including her children, be massively in debt and at risk of a lawsuit (until the rental gets sold).  She is also willing to have her third priority family (your parents, so your second priority family people) keep giving the 2 of you money.

All this is so that her secondary priority family people can live in luxury.

Financially what you need to do is clear.  Sell both houses.  To any buyer.  Cut the financial strings with both sets of parents.  Of course that is the hard part.

You two don't need us.  You need a marriage counselor.
Wow. This is by far the best advice on this thread.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BigRed on January 18, 2017, 10:39:28 AM
Also, the longer her family is there, they will have paid a larger and larger share of the equity in the property.  When (if?) the house is eventually sold, who gets to keep the profit may become quite contentious.  Given that the original sale of the house to the Beatles family was within the family, there may be a very complicated history that would make pocketing the $100k very difficult, and it is highly unlikely that the $300k house has $100k of equity in it that really belongs to the Beatles family. 

Thinking about it more, the beatles family certainly hasn't paid $100k of equity in the few years they owned it, and prices in his area have certainly not risen 33%.  They had to borrow $15k from his parents to "pay closing costs" initially.  There's no way that $100k of equity is unambiguously beatles' to use.  Some of it (maybe all of it?) has to belong to the in-laws, or to beatles' parents, but I'd guess very little to beatles and family.  Which makes this worse.  Beatles, you have a massive liability (taxes and mortgage in your name) with no access to the asset (physically or financially).

So, this is a very good time to initiate this conversation with the in-laws.  You are in massive debt and it's clear that this situation can't continue indefinitely, which gives you an excellent reason to bring the topic up.  It will be uncomfortable, but some plan must be made for how this will eventually unwind.  Also, avoiding uncomfortable topics is what got you here in the first place, so time to change that behavior.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: notactiveanymore on January 18, 2017, 10:41:39 AM
If the inlaws are paying all the bills to the big house, why not just sell it to them?  Their costs will remain the same every month and you get your equity out.

Because if the in-laws appear to have any assets the IRS will take them.

Wait, what?  I read through the thread but I missed that.  What's the deal?

Mrs. Beatles' parents used to live in the big house but something happened (IRS debt occurred or IRS seemed like they were going to seize the house?) and so the Beatles family purchased the big house from the in-laws. They realized they could not afford the payments and/or maintenance on Big House, so the Beatles family moved into House 3 (current house - also, I am baffled that they were able to get a mortgage on House three). Mrs. Beatles' parents wanted to live somewhere really nice and presumably still loved their former house, so the in-laws moved in and assumed the payments and maintenance cost of Big House while the mortgage renamed remained in the Beatles family name.

One could assume that the mortgage payment on the Big House is larger than on House 3, so we are left with the current understanding that despite the fact that the in-laws owe the IRS $200k, they can afford to spend over $1800/month on the Big House expenses. Beatles family believes not allowing the in-laws to live in Big House would be mean. They have 100k in equity in the house, mostly due to market recovery. Apparently anything less than large property with a big house and granite counter tops is not acceptable housing accommodations for in-laws who, again, owe the IRS $200k. In-laws cannot buy a house presumably because then the IRS would know they have assets.

It is unclear why in-laws cannot rent a place more suitable for their financial situation. It is unclear why Beatles family is okay with tying up 100k in equity and let the debt stay on their record when it seems like in-laws could have several rental options.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 18, 2017, 10:44:57 AM
Also, the longer her family is there, they will have paid a larger and larger share of the equity in the property.  When (if?) the house is eventually sold, who gets to keep the profit may become quite contentious.  Given that the original sale of the house to the Beatles family was within the family, there may be a very complicated history that would make pocketing the $100k very difficult, and it is highly unlikely that the $300k house has $100k of equity in it that really belongs to the Beatles family. 

Thinking about it more, the beatles family certainly hasn't paid $100k of equity in the few years they owned it, and prices in his area have certainly not risen 33%.  They had to borrow $15k from his parents to "pay closing costs" initially.  There's no way that $100k of equity is unambiguously beatles' to use.  Some of it (maybe all of it?) has to belong to the in-laws, or to beatles' parents, but I'd guess very little to beatles and family.  Which makes this worse.  Beatles, you have a massive liability (taxes and mortgage in your name) with no access to the asset (physically or financially).

So, this is a very good time to initiate this conversation with the in-laws.  You are in massive debt and it's clear that this situation can't continue indefinitely, which gives you an excellent reason to bring the topic up.  It will be uncomfortable, but some plan must be made for how this will eventually unwind.  Also, avoiding uncomfortable topics is what got you here in the first place, so time to change that behavior.

I had foreseen this, too, but you see I asked him what else is going on, what is the backstory, what is leaving out, and he assures us, NOTHING.

I am still pondering the questions I asked him in post #1104, though, such as how long this obligation to keep the inlaws living large continues.  Forever?  For life? 

As well as what, exactly, his wife thinks she would be doing to these people who obviously have PLENTY of money to rent elsewhere.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ketchup on January 18, 2017, 10:45:31 AM
Also, the longer her family is there, they will have paid a larger and larger share of the equity in the property.  When (if?) the house is eventually sold, who gets to keep the profit may become quite contentious.  Given that the original sale of the house to the Beatles family was within the family, there may be a very complicated history that would make pocketing the $100k very difficult, and it is highly unlikely that the $300k house has $100k of equity in it that really belongs to the Beatles family. 

Thinking about it more, the beatles family certainly hasn't paid $100k of equity in the few years they owned it, and prices in his area have certainly not risen 33%.  They had to borrow $15k from his parents to "pay closing costs" initially.  There's no way that $100k of equity is unambiguously beatles' to use.  Some of it (maybe all of it?) has to belong to the in-laws, or to beatles' parents, but I'd guess very little to beatles and family.  Which makes this worse.  Beatles, you have a massive liability (taxes and mortgage in your name) with no access to the asset (physically or financially).

So, this is a very good time to initiate this conversation with the in-laws.  You are in massive debt and it's clear that this situation can't continue indefinitely, which gives you an excellent reason to bring the topic up.  It will be uncomfortable, but some plan must be made for how this will eventually unwind.  Also, avoiding uncomfortable topics is what got you here in the first place, so time to change that behavior.
This is a good point.  To strengthen any defense to BS here, even if you end up leaving the in-laws in that house, it might make sense to have the in-laws sign an explicit lease on the property, and have them pay YOU the bills, and then YOU pay the bills.  That way it's clear that they are RENTING it from you in a proper landlord-tenant relationship, not giving you money that pays for expenses of the house they probably still think of as theirs.  Also, that way you're sure everything is getting paid so nothing extra-stupid happens to push you off a cliff.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Tyson on January 18, 2017, 10:46:04 AM
If the inlaws are paying all the bills to the big house, why not just sell it to them?  Their costs will remain the same every month and you get your equity out.

Because if the in-laws appear to have any assets the IRS will take them.

Wait, what?  I read through the thread but I missed that.  What's the deal?

People are looking too far into it.

In-laws, like millions of Americans, can not own property because they have past due taxes owed.

So they rent.

Ah, OK.  So sell the house and let them rent somewhere else.  Not selling the house is directly hurting your family.  You, your wife and your kids are directly suffering because you are trying to be nice.  The in-laws are adults, they can find another place to stay.  If they can afford to rent a place that you can't afford the mortgage on, clearly they don't have a cashflow problem.  Let them use that $$ elsewhere so you can get the equity out of that home.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: ShoulderThingThatGoesUp on January 18, 2017, 10:47:37 AM
If the inlaws are paying all the bills to the big house, why not just sell it to them?  Their costs will remain the same every month and you get your equity out.

Because if the in-laws appear to have any assets the IRS will take them.

Wait, what?  I read through the thread but I missed that.  What's the deal?

People are looking too far into it.

In-laws, like millions of Americans, can not own property because they have past due taxes owed.

So they rent.

Or they could pay what they owe.

And pretty soon you're going to be in the same situation and all the house equity you have will evaporate. What is their plan when your debts make it so you can't own real estate anymore?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 18, 2017, 10:48:42 AM

It's just not something she is willing to do to her family.

I though I had bowed out a few days ago, but I have to respond to this.  And rephrase what you said.

She is not willing to do this to her parents.  She IS willing to do it to HER FAMILY.  Because you and the kids are her primary family.

Years ago I was at the wedding of two friends who were just graduating university.  The priest pointed out that when you get married, the fancy wording means that you and your spouse are now each other's primary family.  "Forsaking all others" means your parents are lower on your priority scale than your spouse and future children.

So let us be clear here.  She is willing to have her primary family people, including her children, be massively in debt and at risk of a lawsuit (until the rental gets sold).  She is also willing to have her third priority family (your parents, so your second priority family people) keep giving the 2 of you money.

All this is so that her secondary priority family people can live in luxury.

Financially what you need to do is clear.  Sell both houses.  To any buyer.  Cut the financial strings with both sets of parents.  Of course that is the hard part.

You two don't need us.  You need a marriage counselor.

Excellent post.

I am glad you decided not to bow out.

The beatles may be glad you posted this one day, too.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 18, 2017, 10:51:30 AM

6.) Mrs. Beatles could work nights and weekends but isn't.  If we were in this position I would be working every hour I could when my spouse were home.


Don't forget Mr Beatles won't delivery pizzas either because he can't get in and out of his car that much. Maybe he has a real disability but it sounds like an excuse to me (since he hasn't mentioned a real physical disability).
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 18, 2017, 10:52:39 AM
However, if we sell the rental, I don't think we will need to do anything else.

Selling the rental will reduce our expenses $1,777 per month.

We have already reduced our food expense by 1,000 per month.

This changes our situation in the following way:

> Our take home pay will be reduced to $3,941 /month
> Our expenses will be reduced to $3,246 / month

This will result in a surplus of $695 / month.

If I am missing something, please let me know.

The beatles,

Buddy, hey, is there something you are not telling us?  Selling the small rental is a GREAT step in the right direction, and I commend you for waking up and smelling the coffee, but selling the large rental, too, would literally solve all of your problems.  Literally. You could pay off everything to everybody.  You could keep your cars, furniture, televisions, and garage full of stuff, and it would all be paid off.

You could even keep your current house.  You would still have a mortgage.

What would THAT do to your monthly expenses???

But there is something else, and we need to know what it is.  The first time I brought this up as the solution to your financial problems, and an immediate one at that, you said your wife would divorce you.

So what is the back story? 

I cannot imagine my wife wanting to divorce me for liquidating six figures of cash when we are trying to survive and owing multiple tax authorities in ways that could bring everything crashing down, even IF her parents were involved.  She, quite simply, would never see our obligation to them as tying up six figures of cash to keep them in marble, heated floor, luxury.  Also, the fact that they have the money each month to pay all of the expenses for that place, which YOU could NOT afford, means that they will be ok. 

If you or your wife think they will not be ok, then help us understand WHY they won't be ok?  The first excuse, they owe the IRS, is not going to matter one bit to most real estate investors, who will be happy to rent them a place.  Is this just a matter of the inlaws being whiny and your wife not wanting to hear about it from them?  Are the inlaws controlling over their daughter?  What?

So what is the deal?  Your wife's one post, above, really did not illuminate the situation any further.  You mentioned she was upset by reading this thread.  So what is going on?

Nope, nothing hidden.

It's just not something she is willing to do to her family.

But her parents are willing to let their daughter (and their grandchildren) slide down the drain of overwhelming debt so they can... what... have granite countertops and heated floors? Do Mrs. Beatles' parents have any idea how much trouble you are in? Do they know that if they go live somewhere else (anywhere else), providing a path to sell the house, that their daughter's financial situation could be stabilized?

Did I read that they are keeping the rent that comes in from the apartment that has a lease through August? Do they know that you are not meeting your obligations every month and that money could be helping? You think of them as "covering costs" on that big house, but from the outside, it looks like they are taking terrible advantage of you and their daughter. They are set up in a sweet situation where 1) they don't feel any urgency to pay back the "couple hundred thousand" they owe because they have found housing that doesn't require that of them; 2) they know a landlord isn't going to snoop into their business too much; and 3) they're making money off rent on a property they don't even own! How is that fair to YOU, beatles?

And I'd like to see some source or citation for your assertion that "millions of Americans" owe back taxes. I have never in my life missed a tax payment.

Never mind. I googled it myself. It made me sad:

How many of your neighbors owe the IRS? | abc13.com
abc13.com/archive/6645858/ (http://abc13.com/archive/6645858/)
Jun 22, 2009 - Around 8.2 million Americans owed more than $83 billion in back taxes, penalties and interest. That's about $10,000 per person.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 18, 2017, 10:54:52 AM
If the inlaws are paying all the bills to the big house, why not just sell it to them?  Their costs will remain the same every month and you get your equity out.

Because if the in-laws appear to have any assets the IRS will take them.

Wait, what?  I read through the thread but I missed that.  What's the deal?

People are looking too far into it.

In-laws, like millions of Americans, can not own property because they have past due taxes owed.

So they rent.

This seems to be an inherited problem.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MrsDinero on January 18, 2017, 10:59:28 AM
If the inlaws are paying all the bills to the big house, why not just sell it to them?  Their costs will remain the same every month and you get your equity out.

Because if the in-laws appear to have any assets the IRS will take them.

Wait, what?  I read through the thread but I missed that.  What's the deal?

People are looking too far into it.

In-laws, like millions of Americans, can not own property because they have past due taxes owed.

So they rent.

Ok I'm back in.

I'm starting to wonder if the reason the OP & his wife are excruciatingly resistant to selling this house is because they are knowingly helping their in-laws hide from the IRS.  If the family were to leave this house and go rent somewhere else then that place would run a credit check and their report.  If they are accepted as tenants somewhere then their credit report (most likely) will be updated to reflect this new address.  If they keep living in this house, though, then no address is registered. 

You can see the way the OP has normalized their in-laws unethical behavior using the phrase "like millions".
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 18, 2017, 11:01:52 AM
Did I read that they are keeping the rent that comes in from the apartment that has a lease through August? . . . and 3) they're making money off rent on a property they don't even own! How is that fair to YOU, beatles?
  I wonder if they are reporting that income to the IRS???   LOL!  Since they do not own the property they are renting, can they even deduct anything against that income?  I am not an accountant, but I am guessing not. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 18, 2017, 11:03:20 AM
If the inlaws are paying all the bills to the big house, why not just sell it to them?  Their costs will remain the same every month and you get your equity out.

Because if the in-laws appear to have any assets the IRS will take them.

Wait, what?  I read through the thread but I missed that.  What's the deal?

People are looking too far into it.

In-laws, like millions of Americans, can not own property because they have past due taxes owed.

So they rent.

Ok I'm back in.

I'm starting to wonder if the reason the OP & his wife are excruciatingly resistant to selling this house is because they are knowingly helping their in-laws hide from the IRS.  If the family were to leave this house and go rent somewhere else then that place would run a credit check and their report.  If they are accepted as tenants somewhere then their credit report (most likely) will be updated to reflect this new address.  If they keep living in this house, though, then no address is registered. 

You can see the way the OP has normalized their in-laws unethical behavior using the phrase "like millions".
  Mrs. Dinero is smart and has a moral compass.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: BigRed on January 18, 2017, 11:05:56 AM

Did I read that they are keeping the rent that comes in from the apartment that has a lease through August? Do they know that you are not meeting your obligations every month and that money could be helping? You think of them as "covering costs" on that big house, but from the outside, it looks like they are taking terrible advantage of you and their daughter. They are set up in a sweet situation where 1) they don't feel any urgency to pay back the "couple hundred thousand" they owe because they have found housing that doesn't require that of them; 2) they know a landlord isn't going to snoop into their business too much; and 3) they're making money off rent on a property they don't even own! How is that fair to YOU, beatles?

And I'd like to see some source or citation for your assertion that "millions of Americans" owe back taxes. I have never in my life missed a tax payment.

I would suggest that, Mrs. Beatles' parents do, de facto, own the property.  I'm guessing this is also the understanding of all parties.  The Beatles hold the de jure ownership because otherwise the IRS would take it.  But it is in name only.  Everyone understands this, which is why it isn't the solution to the case study, and why it would result in divorce to suggest stealing her parents' house to Mrs. Beatles.

That said, this is another example of how things got to this level, because performing this service (which is, for all intents and purposes, tax evasion) for Mrs. Beatles' parents for free has given the Beatles family another hidden cost that they have ignored.  They are assuming loan risk, risk which an actual mortgage lender would never assume.  It is time to look this in the face and deal with it.  Much more important than starting up a side-project, and not something that is going to take only an hour of effort.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: researcher1 on January 18, 2017, 11:07:26 AM
We actually have!
We have not shopped for groceries since I started this case study.
Well, we did buy milk, applesauce, bread and a couple other staples. But that's it.
We skipped last weeks shopping and ate what we could out of the pantry and freezer.
Today is our 1st shopping trip since joining, and my wife is bringing $100 to spend.

Actually, this isn't true.

On 1/11, you spent $13 on staples, which is great.

But on 1/13, you posted "Mrs. Beatles shopping today," along with two receipts...
- Once receipt totaled $66.86 (makeup, dixie cups, ect!?!?)
- Another receipt totaled $44.24 (prairie dog antlers!?!?!)


Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Tyson on January 18, 2017, 11:08:01 AM
Wait, so the inlaws are living in the big house and are keeping the $$ from the rental unit on that property?  Why?
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: larmando on January 18, 2017, 11:11:08 AM
Congrats on deciding to sell Rental #1 and take control of a lot of the situation.

Regarding Rental #2, note that:
- the payment made by your inlaws to a mortgage in your name, property taxes in your name, and to upkeep still may very well constitute taxable income on your side.
- the tenants of the 1bedroom apt may also generate taxable income for you, regardless of who they pay their money to.

In general what your wife seems to say is that our lifestyle is beneath you, which *might* be problematic if that means you'll have to run up more debt to keep up with that lifestyle. All in all, all the best and good luck with all. Your new 600$ in cash flow is a good start, but you'll need more long term changes to make sure it doesn't disappear again.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: CheapScholar on January 18, 2017, 11:13:17 AM
Stay tuned later today when Beatles will reveal that he still owes 100K on a yacht that his inlaws use.  Plus, a single post by a new user claiming to be "the father in law" explaining his misfortunes.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: MrsDinero on January 18, 2017, 11:29:40 AM
Did I read that they are keeping the rent that comes in from the apartment that has a lease through August? . . . and 3) they're making money off rent on a property they don't even own! How is that fair to YOU, beatles?
  I wonder if they are reporting that income to the IRS???   LOL!  Since they do not own the property they are renting, can they even deduct anything against that income?  I am not an accountant, but I am guessing not.


OP is either a massive troll who has way too much time on his hands or he really is engaging in unethical possibly even illegal behavior.

I suggest that everyone takes a step back from this. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 18, 2017, 11:32:15 AM
If the inlaws are paying all the bills to the big house, why not just sell it to them?  Their costs will remain the same every month and you get your equity out.

Because if the in-laws appear to have any assets the IRS will take them.

Wait, what?  I read through the thread but I missed that.  What's the deal?

People are looking too far into it.

In-laws, like millions of Americans, can not own property because they have past due taxes owed.

So they rent.

Ok I'm back in.

I'm starting to wonder if the reason the OP & his wife are excruciatingly resistant to selling this house is because they are knowingly helping their in-laws hide from the IRS.  If the family were to leave this house and go rent somewhere else then that place would run a credit check and their report.  If they are accepted as tenants somewhere then their credit report (most likely) will be updated to reflect this new address.  If they keep living in this house, though, then no address is registered. 

You can see the way the OP has normalized their in-laws unethical behavior using the phrase "like millions".

DING DING DING DING DING,  WE HAVE A WINNER!   I said this many posts ago.  And it is not only an address - I'm pretty sure all parties consider the house is the in-laws as is the equity.  The Beatles are conspiring to hide this equity from the IRS.  If discovered - they too could go to jail. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: OurTown on January 18, 2017, 11:33:09 AM

Did I read that they are keeping the rent that comes in from the apartment that has a lease through August? Do they know that you are not meeting your obligations every month and that money could be helping? You think of them as "covering costs" on that big house, but from the outside, it looks like they are taking terrible advantage of you and their daughter. They are set up in a sweet situation where 1) they don't feel any urgency to pay back the "couple hundred thousand" they owe because they have found housing that doesn't require that of them; 2) they know a landlord isn't going to snoop into their business too much; and 3) they're making money off rent on a property they don't even own! How is that fair to YOU, beatles?

And I'd like to see some source or citation for your assertion that "millions of Americans" owe back taxes. I have never in my life missed a tax payment.

I would suggest that, Mrs. Beatles' parents do, de facto, own the property.  I'm guessing this is also the understanding of all parties.  The Beatles hold the de jure ownership because otherwise the IRS would take it.  But it is in name only.  Everyone understands this, which is why it isn't the solution to the case study, and why it would result in divorce to suggest stealing her parents' house to Mrs. Beatles.

That said, this is another example of how things got to this level, because performing this service (which is, for all intents and purposes, tax evasion) for Mrs. Beatles' parents for free has given the Beatles family another hidden cost that they have ignored.  They are assuming loan risk, risk which an actual mortgage lender would never assume.  It is time to look this in the face and deal with it.  Much more important than starting up a side-project, and not something that is going to take only an hour of effort.

Ding, ding, ding, ding.  We have a winner!
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 18, 2017, 11:34:54 AM
I wonder if they are reporting that income to the IRS???   LOL!  Since they do not own the property they are renting, can they even deduct anything against that income?  I am not an accountant, but I am guessing not.

I'm also not an accountant, but wanted to chime in on this one.

If there's income from the apartment, then my belief would be that technically, in the eyes of IRS, that income belongs to the Beatles family, not to the in-laws, since the Beatles family owns the house--no matter who the tenants are writing the check to.  The in-laws can't rent something that they don't own.

If that income isn't being claimed, then IRS might come after the Beatles family for more back taxes based on the apartment income.  If the check is in fact being written to the in-laws and should be going to the Beatles family and is not being reported, this could be seen by IRS as tax evasion (a felony, which can come with jail time).

In fact, the money that the in-laws are paying on the mortgage is itself income for the Beatles family.  This should also be claimed as income on the Beatles family tax return.

Beatles, I'd get this in front of the eyes of the accountant you're working with on your own IRS debt, to be sure that there's nothing else here that you need to be doing.  The last thing you want is MORE trouble with IRS.


Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Laura33 on January 18, 2017, 11:45:05 AM

People are looking too far into it.

In-laws, like millions of Americans, can not own property because they have past due taxes owed.

So they rent.

Ok I'm back in.

I'm starting to wonder if the reason the OP & his wife are excruciatingly resistant to selling this house is because they are knowingly helping their in-laws hide from the IRS.  If the family were to leave this house and go rent somewhere else then that place would run a credit check and their report.  If they are accepted as tenants somewhere then their credit report (most likely) will be updated to reflect this new address.  If they keep living in this house, though, then no address is registered. 

You can see the way the OP has normalized their in-laws unethical behavior using the phrase "like millions".

This.  Millions of Americans do not owe six-figure tax debts.  Millions of Americans do not live in luxury homes with ponds and granite countertops while owing tax debts of any size.  Millions of Americans do not rely on their children to help them shield assets to avoid paying what they owe -- especially not at the cost of those children's own financial security.

Mr. Beatles, this is not "normal" in any way, shape, or form.  Your attempts to minimize/justify it say more about you than about the person to whom you are responding.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 18, 2017, 11:47:53 AM
I would suggest that, Mrs. Beatles' parents do, de facto, own the property.  I'm guessing this is also the understanding of all parties.  The Beatles hold the de jure ownership because otherwise the IRS would take it.  But it is in name only.  Everyone understands this, which is why it isn't the solution to the case study, and why it would result in divorce to suggest stealing her parents' house to Mrs. Beatles.
  Well, this would explain why he does not want to answer the questions posed in Post #1104.  They would be very uncomfortable to answer if this is just a aiding and abetting tax evasion.

It would also explain a great many other things, like why $100,000 in equity is "irrelevant."  It is irrelevant because it belongs to the tax dodgers, and does not belong to The beatles and his wife at all.

This makes more and more sense and explains The beatles' odd behavior in this thread.

Conspiracy.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 18, 2017, 11:56:04 AM
Let's look at this number again. I understand that it's from  8 years ago; let's use it as example:

How many of your neighbors owe the IRS? | abc13.com
abc13.com/archive/6645858/
Jun 22, 2009 - Around 8.2 million Americans owed more than $83 billion in back taxes, penalties and interest. That's about $10,000 per person.


According to the US Census, there were 306,000,000 people in the US in 2009. Let's round down:

Of 300 million people, 8 million owed back taxes. Don't let the sheer numbers normalize that situation. That's still only 2.6% of the population.

So your in-laws are part of the 2.6% of the population who owe back taxes. But they don't owe the $10k per person referred to above. They owe $100K - EACH, ten times that amount.

Your in-laws are in way deeper shit than you, beatles. I really hope they don't drag you down with them. You are already on that road, though. You owe $55K, if I'm not mistaken - $40K to the IRS and $15K in property taxes. You already owe five times the "average" of those back-tax-owing people.

Hardly anyone lives like this. I fear that your in-laws have normalized something that is NOT NORMAL. Break the cycle! We really, really want you to be free of these chains.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 18, 2017, 11:57:36 AM
First off, I am not a tax lawyer, but, in doing a sham transaction, the IRS troubles actually spread to other family members.  The IRS can come after the person holding the property.  The IRS can still file a lien, a "nominee lien." 

In other words, transferring your property to another spreads your IRS problem to the other like an infectious disease.

The IRS actually does not like to take houses.  They will do so, however, in egregious cases where the parties have poked at them.  This appears to be a case ripe for that sort of consequence.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: RetiredAt63 on January 18, 2017, 11:58:41 AM
Stay tuned later today when Beatles will reveal that he still owes 100K on a yacht that his inlaws use.  Plus, a single post by a new user claiming to be "the father in law" explaining his misfortunes.

So cynical, so sad.  But so based on thread history.

Which father-in-law?  I would love a post from beatles' father (mrs. beatles' father-in-law) with their view on things.  I am not expecting it though.  Maybe I should write it?  ;-)

I am now thinking that now only does beatles need a good marriage counselor (for multiple reasons) and a good realtor (for house #1 and hopefully #2) and a CPA (for the IRS back taxes and all the extra taxes he will owe once he actually starts counting the rent from house # 2 and apartment as income, offset by whatever costs are involved), he needs a good tax lawyer to sort out the mess for house #2.  At this point I would be 1. checking with the bank to be sure all payments were up to date on house #2, and 2. getting the income transfer clear (as others have posted, rent from in-laws and apartment tenants to him, he pays house costs like mortgage, tenants can certainly pay their own utilities and living costs like hiring someone to cut the grass), and 3. making sure all tenants (house #1, house# 2 and apartment at house #2) have good tenant insurance.  I haven't seen any mention of tenant insurance on here - have I missed it?  Essential - he should not rent to anyone without it.

I have been sucked into the black hole again, I'm gone.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: OurTown on January 18, 2017, 11:59:23 AM
I would suggest that, Mrs. Beatles' parents do, de facto, own the property.  I'm guessing this is also the understanding of all parties.  The Beatles hold the de jure ownership because otherwise the IRS would take it.  But it is in name only.  Everyone understands this, which is why it isn't the solution to the case study, and why it would result in divorce to suggest stealing her parents' house to Mrs. Beatles.
  Well, this would explain why he does not want to answer the questions posed in Post #1104.  They would be very uncomfortable to answer if this is just a aiding and abetting tax evasion.

It would also explain a great many other things, like why $100,000 in equity is "irrelevant."  It is irrelevant because it belongs to the tax dodgers, and does not belong to The beatles and his wife at all.

This makes more and more sense and explains The beatles' odd behavior in this thread.

Conspiracy.

It's stuff like this that gives New York and New Jersey a bad name.  Well, New York anyway.  New Jersey already had a bad name.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: larmando on January 18, 2017, 12:08:17 PM
Ok, giving things the benefit of doubt: perhaps they're not voluntarily doing anything illegal. It might be that the inlaws, seeing they couldn't own the property anymore, actually wanted their daughter to have it, and that the daughter actually wanted it for sentimental reasons. So they sold it to them, perhaps at fair price or something similar to fair price (what did they do with the income from the sale? did they pay back some debt/owed taxes?).

Indeed the beatles moved in there. But then had to move out given they weren't managing. So the inlaws moved back in ostensibly "to help": they are paying down the mortgage while the beatles live in a cheaper place. This would allow them at a later date to return to their "fancy home" once they sort out debt and/or mr. gets a raise. This might be what mrs. counts on, and why she doesn't want to let go of it: if she doesn't they're "temporarily" living in a cheaper place, if she does she becomes "normal" and loses her big mansion with acres of land, and knows she might never be able to get it back.

And we can see in the thread that they're not into changing lifestyles, becoming wealthy (at least through savings), or FI, just correcting course away from immediate disaster and go back to being "rich". (which is why they don't resist saving on groceries, but they wouldn't sell the cars for example)
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 18, 2017, 12:12:04 PM
This would allow them at a later date to return to their "fancy home" once they sort out debt and/or mr. gets a raise. This might be what mrs. counts on, and why she doesn't want to let go of it: if she doesn't they're "temporarily" living in a cheaper place, if she does she becomes "normal" and loses her big mansion with acres of land, and knows she might never be able to get it back.
  The beatles has posted nothing like this about it, in spite of interrogation aimed at getting the complete story.  If that was the explanation, he would have already made it.  It would have been quite simple to say, "We don't own the $100k in equity.  It belongs to my inlaws.  We have an agreement that they will get the house once their issues are worked out."  But he didn't.  Instead it was just, "My wife won't do that to her parents."  Whatever "that" is.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 18, 2017, 12:12:20 PM
First off, I am not a tax lawyer, but, in doing a sham transaction, the IRS troubles actually spread to other family members.  The IRS can come after the person holding the property.  The IRS can still file a lien, a "nominee lien." 

In other words, transferring your property to another spreads your IRS problem to the other like an infectious disease.

The IRS actually does not like to take houses.  They will do so, however, in egregious cases where the parties have poked at them.  This appears to be a case ripe for that sort of consequence.

Furthermore  - when you knowingly go about cheating the IRS - then there are criminal penalties.  People go to jail. Husbands and wives with kids go to jail.  This is serious shit.  The in-laws are living large at the expense of their daughter's family and have asked her family to be conspirators in defrauding the IRS.  Wow - just wow.  I don't know many mother's who would let their children be put at such risk - but maybe Mrs. Beatles doesn't mind if the state takes the kids while she is in prison.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 12:16:56 PM
I would suggest that, Mrs. Beatles' parents do, de facto, own the property.  I'm guessing this is also the understanding of all parties.  The Beatles hold the de jure ownership because otherwise the IRS would take it.  But it is in name only.  Everyone understands this, which is why it isn't the solution to the case study, and why it would result in divorce to suggest stealing her parents' house to Mrs. Beatles.
  Well, this would explain why he does not want to answer the questions posed in Post #1104.  They would be very uncomfortable to answer if this is just a aiding and abetting tax evasion.

It would also explain a great many other things, like why $100,000 in equity is "irrelevant."  It is irrelevant because it belongs to the tax dodgers, and does not belong to The beatles and his wife at all.

This makes more and more sense and explains The beatles' odd behavior in this thread.

Conspiracy.

People making up lies helps nothing.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 12:18:46 PM

6.) Mrs. Beatles could work nights and weekends but isn't.  If we were in this position I would be working every hour I could when my spouse were home.


Don't forget Mr Beatles won't delivery pizzas either because he can't get in and out of his car that much. Maybe he has a real disability but it sounds like an excuse to me (since he hasn't mentioned a real physical disability).

Actually I did.

You just don't want to bother to read it.

Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 18, 2017, 12:19:37 PM
I would suggest that, Mrs. Beatles' parents do, de facto, own the property.  I'm guessing this is also the understanding of all parties.  The Beatles hold the de jure ownership because otherwise the IRS would take it.  But it is in name only.  Everyone understands this, which is why it isn't the solution to the case study, and why it would result in divorce to suggest stealing her parents' house to Mrs. Beatles.
  Well, this would explain why he does not want to answer the questions posed in Post #1104.  They would be very uncomfortable to answer if this is just a aiding and abetting tax evasion.

It would also explain a great many other things, like why $100,000 in equity is "irrelevant."  It is irrelevant because it belongs to the tax dodgers, and does not belong to The beatles and his wife at all.

This makes more and more sense and explains The beatles' odd behavior in this thread.

Conspiracy.

People making up lies helps nothing.

People asking for help but not giving the whole story significantly handcuffs those who would like to help.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: larmando on January 18, 2017, 12:20:59 PM
This would allow them at a later date to return to their "fancy home" once they sort out debt and/or mr. gets a raise. This might be what mrs. counts on, and why she doesn't want to let go of it: if she doesn't they're "temporarily" living in a cheaper place, if she does she becomes "normal" and loses her big mansion with acres of land, and knows she might never be able to get it back.
  The beatles has posted nothing like this about it, in spite of interrogation aimed at getting the complete story.  If that was the explanation, he would have already made it.  It would have been quite simple to say, "We don't own the $100k in equity.  It belongs to my inlaws.  We have an agreement that they will get the house once their issues are worked out."  But he didn't.  Instead it was just, "My wife won't do that to her parents."  Whatever "that" is.

That's not what I meant. I think he thinks they *do* own the 100k, but they are grateful to the inlaws for sitting on it while maintaining it/increasing it by paying the mortgage, and allowing them (the beatles) to go back to it at a later date. Or at least that's part of the framing. I believe neither the inlaws nor the mrs want to get rid of "the family mansion", no matter who lives there. Note that the inlaws already lived somewhere else, while the beatles lived there.

Maybe everybody moving in the mansion could work. After all it's big enough for that. :)

"that" might well be send them to live in a 75k "normal" house *and* selling the family mansion.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 18, 2017, 12:23:47 PM
I would suggest that, Mrs. Beatles' parents do, de facto, own the property.  I'm guessing this is also the understanding of all parties.  The Beatles hold the de jure ownership because otherwise the IRS would take it.  But it is in name only.  Everyone understands this, which is why it isn't the solution to the case study, and why it would result in divorce to suggest stealing her parents' house to Mrs. Beatles.
  Well, this would explain why he does not want to answer the questions posed in Post #1104.  They would be very uncomfortable to answer if this is just a aiding and abetting tax evasion.

It would also explain a great many other things, like why $100,000 in equity is "irrelevant."  It is irrelevant because it belongs to the tax dodgers, and does not belong to The beatles and his wife at all.

This makes more and more sense and explains The beatles' odd behavior in this thread.

Conspiracy.

People making up lies helps nothing.

beatles, people aren't making up lies. People are trying to fill in the blanks you are leaving in your responses by positing credible theories. Trust me, we are trying to HELP YOU. We think you are getting shafted by your in-laws. We think your wife doesn't fully understand the situation in which you have found yourself, and we think you are having a hard time waking up to the true awfulness of it all.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: CheapScholar on January 18, 2017, 12:24:13 PM
I'm a non-practicing JD, but still a law school grad.  I agree that this is some serious stuff.  I could absolutely see the IRS being ruthless with these facts.  It reads like a law school exam.

Beatles, you better get a good CPA/tax lawyer and tell him/her EVERYTHING.  Get a real estate agent and sell these properties ASAP.  If you don't: Best case scenario - you avoid prosecution and financial ruin for a few more years and then probably succumb to bankruptcy and divorce once this all blown up.  Worst case scenario - you go to prison.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 12:25:44 PM
Did I read that they are keeping the rent that comes in from the apartment that has a lease through August? . . . and 3) they're making money off rent on a property they don't even own! How is that fair to YOU, beatles?
  I wonder if they are reporting that income to the IRS???   LOL!  Since they do not own the property they are renting, can they even deduct anything against that income?  I am not an accountant, but I am guessing not.

Yes, that income is reported.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 12:26:28 PM
I would suggest that, Mrs. Beatles' parents do, de facto, own the property.  I'm guessing this is also the understanding of all parties.  The Beatles hold the de jure ownership because otherwise the IRS would take it.  But it is in name only.  Everyone understands this, which is why it isn't the solution to the case study, and why it would result in divorce to suggest stealing her parents' house to Mrs. Beatles.
  Well, this would explain why he does not want to answer the questions posed in Post #1104.  They would be very uncomfortable to answer if this is just a aiding and abetting tax evasion.

It would also explain a great many other things, like why $100,000 in equity is "irrelevant."  It is irrelevant because it belongs to the tax dodgers, and does not belong to The beatles and his wife at all.

This makes more and more sense and explains The beatles' odd behavior in this thread.

Conspiracy.

People making up lies helps nothing.

People asking for help but not giving the whole story significantly handcuffs those who would like to help.

I've told the whole story.

In detail.

People just dont want to read it.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 12:28:38 PM
I'm a non-practicing JD, but still a law school grad.  I agree that this is some serious stuff.  I could absolutely see the IRS being ruthless with these facts.  It reads like a law school exam.

Beatles, you better get a good CPA/tax lawyer and tell him/her EVERYTHING.  Get a real estate agent and sell these properties ASAP.  If you don't: Best case scenario - you avoid prosecution and financial ruin for a few more years and then probably succumb to bankruptcy and divorce once this all blown up.  Worst case scenario - you go to prison.

They already know everything...

My wife's family has an IRS agent who is on his case...

They've been to the house.

They know everything.

There is nothing to hide.

You guys are just MAKING THINGS UP to make it sound juicer than it is.

It's ridiculous.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: former player on January 18, 2017, 12:29:59 PM
Thing is, beatles, however you and Mrs Beatles are looking at the situation, and however well intentioned you are, the facts as currently presented on this forum could very easily be presented by the IRS in court to make you and Mrs Beatles look as guilty as hell.  And why wouldn't they, when there is nearly a quarter of a million in unpaid taxes hanging around - the inlaws $200k and your $40k, plus whatever they would deem to be your "income" on the payments made by your inlaws and their sub-renters on the mansion.

Please, please, please, this has already gone way beyond any sort of saving face for your inlaws or indulging Mrs Beatles' hopes of future gracious living.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Tyson on January 18, 2017, 12:30:04 PM
I would suggest selling everything except the home you live in.  It fixes almost everything in one fell swoop.  Most people in your situation don't have that option.  You should take it.  Obviously your in-laws can't buy a different house, but they should be able to rent somewhere else instead. 

Look how complicated and messed up the rest of your life is due to these 2 properties.  Cut them loose and simplify your life enormously.  The stress of all of this has got to be eating you up. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 12:30:24 PM
I would suggest that, Mrs. Beatles' parents do, de facto, own the property.  I'm guessing this is also the understanding of all parties.  The Beatles hold the de jure ownership because otherwise the IRS would take it.  But it is in name only.  Everyone understands this, which is why it isn't the solution to the case study, and why it would result in divorce to suggest stealing her parents' house to Mrs. Beatles.
  Well, this would explain why he does not want to answer the questions posed in Post #1104.  They would be very uncomfortable to answer if this is just a aiding and abetting tax evasion.

It would also explain a great many other things, like why $100,000 in equity is "irrelevant."  It is irrelevant because it belongs to the tax dodgers, and does not belong to The beatles and his wife at all.

This makes more and more sense and explains The beatles' odd behavior in this thread.

Conspiracy.

People making up lies helps nothing.

beatles, people aren't making up lies. People are trying to fill in the blanks you are leaving in your responses by positing credible theories. Trust me, we are trying to HELP YOU. We think you are getting shafted by your in-laws. We think your wife doesn't fully understand the situation in which you have found yourself, and we think you are having a hard time waking up to the true awfulness of it all.

No ... IPLawyer is definitely purposely making up lies.

I've corrected her several times.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Iplawyer on January 18, 2017, 12:30:45 PM
First off, I am not a tax lawyer, but, in doing a sham transaction, the IRS troubles actually spread to other family members.  The IRS can come after the person holding the property.  The IRS can still file a lien, a "nominee lien." 

In other words, transferring your property to another spreads your IRS problem to the other like an infectious disease.

The IRS actually does not like to take houses.  They will do so, however, in egregious cases where the parties have poked at them.  This appears to be a case ripe for that sort of consequence.


I am the wife.  This will probably be my only post.

1) When Mr.B and I met I already owned Rental #1 (the one we owe $25k on).

2) Shortly before getting married, I received an annuity for $14k. I wanted to put the $14k on the HELOC to pay it down to $11k, but he wanted to use it on a business idea of his. So we used it on his business idea and now its all gone.

3) After our honeymoon, we moved into the $300k house. This house was previously owned by my family, but they couldnt own it anymore for various reasons so we purchased it from them, and then we moved in and they moved out.

4) The $300k house was a lot to handle. Keep in mind that $300k in our area is different than $300k in a big city. $300k in our area is a 2500-3000 Sq foot big house on several acres with a pond and a rental apartment. It's huge. Just the lawn mowing was $160 per month.

5) The mortgage was very expensive and the interest rate is high. It was a big burden. We got into a lot of debt in this house. About $25k in debt. My husbands parents give us $25k in cash to pay this debt off.

6) A couple years go by and my family needs a place to live again (their lease ended). So we decided to move out of the $300k house and let my family move back in and pay the expenses.

7) We find our current house, which is much cheaper than the $300k house. We buy it and move in. My husbands parents give us $15k for closing costs.

8) We move into the current house and it doesn't have nearly the luxuries that our previous house did so Mr. B buys crown moulding, hires a landscaper etc. Our debt gets racked up to who knows how much. I honestly dont even know how much its at right now. My husbands parents bail us out several times. Along the way we have had several months where we cant pay the mortgage and my husbands parents give us cash for it.

Thats the story. A lot of you have it wrong. You need to be nicer of people who live differently than you.


Furthermore  - when you knowingly go about cheating the IRS - then there are criminal penalties.  People go to jail. Husbands and wives with kids go to jail.  This is serious shit.  The in-laws are living large at the expense of their daughter's family and have asked her family to be conspirators in defrauding the IRS.  Wow - just wow.  I don't know many mother's who would let their children be put at such risk - but maybe Mrs. Beatles doesn't mind if the state takes the kids while she is in prison.

You're seriously still making up lies?

First the made up $60k in credit cards and now this.

NO ONE IS CHEATING THE IRS OF ANYTHING.

We purchased the house fair and square after our honeymoon.

The house was bought with the intention of her eventually owning it.

It was designed by my wifes specifications and everything.

No I'm not.  Your wife's family owned the house first according to her.  See her post.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 12:31:39 PM
Thing is, beatles, however you and Mrs Beatles are looking at the situation, and however well intentioned you are, the facts as currently presented on this forum could very easily be presented by the IRS in court to make you and Mrs Beatles look as guilty as hell.  And why wouldn't they, when there is nearly a quarter of a million in unpaid taxes hanging around - the inlaws $200k and your $40k, plus whatever they would deem to be your "income" on the payments made by your inlaws and their sub-renters on the mansion.

Please, please, please, this has already gone way beyond any sort of saving face for your inlaws or indulging Mrs Beatles' hopes of future gracious living.

Read my post above...

The IRS knows everything.

Wife's family has an IRS agent.

He has been in the house. He has all the paperwork.

No foul player.

This is half a decade old..

Again. Posters are trying to make this sound scandalous when it isn't.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: begood on January 18, 2017, 12:32:26 PM
beatles if you can say with a straight face, in big bold print, in all caps, that "NO ONE IS CHEATING THE IRS OF ANYTHING", then I really do think you are deluding yourself.

YOU are cheating the IRS right now. You owe thousands of dollars in unpaid taxes. That's what they are. It's not a "scam". You didn't pay. That's cheating. Wake up.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: honeybbq on January 18, 2017, 12:33:24 PM

6.) Mrs. Beatles could work nights and weekends but isn't.  If we were in this position I would be working every hour I could when my spouse were home.


Don't forget Mr Beatles won't delivery pizzas either because he can't get in and out of his car that much. Maybe he has a real disability but it sounds like an excuse to me (since he hasn't mentioned a real physical disability).

Actually I did.

You just don't want to bother to read it.

the only thing you said about delivering pizzas is that you can't get in and out of your car that much.
Please point me to the post where you described the physical disability (I may have missed it, there are a lot of posts) and you will get a real apology.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 12:35:34 PM

6.) Mrs. Beatles could work nights and weekends but isn't.  If we were in this position I would be working every hour I could when my spouse were home.


Don't forget Mr Beatles won't delivery pizzas either because he can't get in and out of his car that much. Maybe he has a real disability but it sounds like an excuse to me (since he hasn't mentioned a real physical disability).

Actually I did.

You just don't want to bother to read it.

the only thing you said about delivering pizzas is that you can't get in and out of your car that much.
Please point me to the post where you described the physical disability (I may have missed it, there are a lot of posts) and you will get a real apology.

Bad back.

Probably on page 20-21ish.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 12:39:33 PM
beatles if you can say with a straight face, in big bold print, in all caps, that "NO ONE IS CHEATING THE IRS OF ANYTHING", then I really do think you are deluding yourself.

YOU are cheating the IRS right now. You owe thousands of dollars in unpaid taxes. That's what they are. It's not a "scam". You didn't pay. That's cheating. Wake up.

Being delinquent is not the same thing as cheating.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: The beatles on January 18, 2017, 12:40:10 PM

6.) Mrs. Beatles could work nights and weekends but isn't.  If we were in this position I would be working every hour I could when my spouse were home.


Don't forget Mr Beatles won't delivery pizzas either because he can't get in and out of his car that much. Maybe he has a real disability but it sounds like an excuse to me (since he hasn't mentioned a real physical disability).

Actually I did.

You just don't want to bother to read it.

the only thing you said about delivering pizzas is that you can't get in and out of your car that much.
Please point me to the post where you described the physical disability (I may have missed it, there are a lot of posts) and you will get a real apology.

A reason why the wife can't deliver pizza wouldn't hurt either.

Or, you know, taking the pizza delivery for what it is - the suggestion that someone get a reliable, wage-earning side gig to help get you out of your quandary. It doesn't literally have to be pizzas.

She's too tired after a full day with the kids.
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Zoot on January 18, 2017, 12:40:29 PM
Bad back.

Probably on page 20-21ish.

The exact wording was:  "Because of my back, I physically can't get in and out of a car that many times a night (to deliver pizza's)." 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: Tyson on January 18, 2017, 12:41:09 PM
Beatles, why is it not an option to sell the big house and have the in-laws rent elsewhere?  Selling both of your rental properties gets you out from under all of this. 
Title: Re: The beatles Case Study
Post by: swick on January 18, 2017, 12:48:53 PM
Mod Note: With the amount of information provided, it is irresponsible for forum members to continue giving advice at this time.  After much deliberation, we have decided to close the thread. There are too many unknowns and too many assumptions being made.

There are 20+ pages of actionable suggestions that the Beatle family can start to implement. Hoping they take this experience and use it to provide a solid foundation for their family.
Title: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 08:37:24 AM
MOD NOTE: This post, and every reply below it, was in a new thread. I merged them together after locking this one, as well, so it's all together.

For those who don't know what I'm talking about, the original case study is here (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/case-studies/the-beatles-case-study/). I would reply in the thread itself but it's been locked and my husband isn't allowed to post for 90 days. I really don't want to be posting and I begged the moderators to let him post but it seems like I'd have a better chance curing world hunger than getting them to change their mind. So here I am. Be gentle please.

We have been working really hard the last few weeks to turn things around and have run into a few snags.

The biggest one is that we are trying to sell our rental but the realtor came back to us with news that dampens that.

Our rental has a bad roof.

The consensus on here was to offer a concession at closing for the cost of the roof.

Our realtor says that every lender she knows of will require the roof be replaced prior to funding. As in they literally won't approve the funding with the roof the way it is.

She said if it's a cash buyer, then yeah we could do it but a cash buyer is not likely in this area.

Thoughts?

Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: honeybbq on January 31, 2017, 09:35:45 AM
How do you know a cash buyer isn't likely in the area?

If it's priced right, they'll come out of the woodwork.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: researcher1 on January 31, 2017, 09:37:22 AM
We have been working really hard the last few weeks to turn things around and have run into a few snags.
Our rental has a bad roof.  The consensus on here was to offer a concession at closing for the cost of the roof.
Our realtor says that every lender she knows of will require the roof be replaced prior to funding. As in they literally won't approve the funding with the roof the way it is.
She said if it's a cash buyer, then yeah we could do it but a cash buyer is not likely in this area.

You/your husband posted this same issue in the locked thread and you received a mountain of advice.
Yet fast forward several weeks, and you still haven't acted on the advice, and are just asking the exact same question over again!

List the damn rental property TODAY!  Stop pussy-footing around!  You keep going around in circles without taking any action!
- The buyer's lender might not consider the roof to be "bad."
- The buyer could qualify for a FHA 203(k) mortgage or Fannie Mae HomeStyle Renovation mortgage
- A cash buyer may make an offer.
- You and the buyer can work out an agreement on the roof, once you've received a formal offer & earnest money.

In your position, there is virtually no downside to listing TODAY. 
Remember, you have no insurance on this property and you owe thousands in back taxes.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 09:55:05 AM

You/your husband posted this same issue in the locked thread and you received a mountain of advice.
Yet fast forward several weeks, and you still haven't acted on the advice, and are just asking the exact same question over again!

Please don't be rude. We have acted. The tenants were told of our plans to sell and we are in talks with the realtor on how to move forward.

I started this topic because the advice we were given on here, the realtor is saying is false. We are looking for further advice.

Quote
- The buyer's lender might not consider the roof to be "bad."

Honey, the shingles are gone and all you see is plywood in several parts of the roof. The reason we don't have insurance is because the insurance company dropped us because the roof was so bad. I don't think there is any degree worse than this.

Quote
- A cash buyer may make an offer.
- You and the buyer can work out an agreement on the roof, once you've received a formal offer & earnest money.

My husband and I suggested this to the realtor and her response was that we run a risk in doing that. If the house doesn't sell, we then will have to put on the roof and buyers will be put off wondering if the roof caused rot damage below the new shingles.

Do you think this is true?

Quote

Remember, you have no insurance on this property and you owe thousands in back taxes.

You're right that we have no insurance. We are now on our property tax payment plan for the back taxes.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 09:55:30 AM
How do you know a cash buyer isn't likely in the area?

If it's priced right, they'll come out of the woodwork.

The truth is I don't know. That's simply what the realtor told us.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: swick on January 31, 2017, 10:14:47 AM
Have you spoken to more than one realtor? She may be giving you advice that works out best for her self-interest.

It is common (In Canada, not sure about the US) to have an offer contingent on a home inspection. The home inspection will show the roof (and any underlying damage) and will not be a surprise to the purchaser and they will probably come back with a counter-offer depending on what they want to do with it.

Have you spoken with your tenants to gauge their interest in purchasing the property? Even if you give them a better deal, you would save on realtor fees, they know what they are getting into and it could be off your shoulders  - and therefore less of a liability as it is not insured, quicker.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: researcher1 on January 31, 2017, 10:18:03 AM
For those who don't know what I'm talking about, the original case study is here (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/case-studies/the-beatles-case-study/). I would reply in the thread itself but it's been locked and my husband isn't allowed to post for 90 days.

It is not my intention to be mean, but I want to offer some frank thoughts about your husband.
For lack of a better explanation, it seems like he is slipping deep 'down the rabbit hole' in his attempt to deal with this financial disaster. 

I came across his "blog" and reviewed his most recent post.  Have you read it? 
Either he is not taking this situation seriously, or is psychologically paralyzed take quick/meaningful/efficient actions.
He is not focusing on practical/actionable research that can have an immediate positive impact on his dire situation.

Instead, he's written a nearly 5,000 word dissertation on "The complete world history of frugal living."  Here's an excerpt...
"My research began with determining whether frugality is a modern construct, or if it can be retraced to times long gone. It was quite a fascinating journey...
I studied the course of frugality throughout each era in order to understand how it became popular, to provide the reason behind their becoming frugal, and to unearth examples of famous people that we can model ourselves after today."


WTF?!?!  Why is he spending his available time/energy on this?  Why isn't he reading about Do-It-Yourself Roofing or Cheap Family Meals?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: swick on January 31, 2017, 10:27:39 AM
MOD NOTE: Let's keep suggestions action oriented and things that theotherbeatles  can do herself, independently of what her husband is doing with his time.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 10:29:54 AM
Have you spoken to more than one realtor? She may be giving you advice that works out best for her self-interest.

We've only talked to the one realtor, she is the one who sold us our current house. I was kinda wondering myself whether she is giving us advice in her best interest but I simply dont have enough knowledge about this situation to judge whether she is being honest or not.

Quote
It is common (In Canada, not sure about the US) to have an offer contingent on a home inspection. The home inspection will show the roof (and any underlying damage) and will not be a surprise to the purchaser and they will probably come back with a counter-offer depending on what they want to do with it.

That's what I thought to!
But the realtor is saying that its not about the buyer, its about the lender. The lender wont allow the bad roof?

Quote
Have you spoken with your tenants to gauge their interest in purchasing the property? Even if you give them a better deal, you would save on realtor fees, they know what they are getting into and it could be off your shoulders  - and therefore less of a liability as it is not insured, quicker.

Yeah definitely. The family would like to but they can't afford the downpayment.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Mazzinator on January 31, 2017, 10:31:43 AM
I didn't read the other thread, but if the roof is THAT bad, then it needs replaced, regardless. Safetly for the tenants??? And to gain insurance.

Replace the roof, then sell...or keep it, if it's profitable??? No way i can read the entire other thread.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 10:32:34 AM
For those who don't know what I'm talking about, the original case study is here (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/case-studies/the-beatles-case-study/). I would reply in the thread itself but it's been locked and my husband isn't allowed to post for 90 days.

It is not my intention to be mean, but I want to offer some frank thoughts about your husband.
For lack of a better explanation, it seems like he is slipping deep 'down the rabbit hole' in his attempt to deal with this financial disaster. 

I came across his "blog" and reviewed his most recent post.  Have you read it? 
Either he is not taking this situation seriously, or is psychologically paralyzed take quick/meaningful/efficient actions.
He is not focusing on practical/actionable research that can have an immediate positive impact on his dire situation.

Instead, he's written a nearly 5,000 word dissertation on "The complete world history of frugal living."  Here's an excerpt...
"My research began with determining whether frugality is a modern construct, or if it can be retraced to times long gone. It was quite a fascinating journey...
I studied the course of frugality throughout each era in order to understand how it became popular, to provide the reason behind their becoming frugal, and to unearth examples of famous people that we can model ourselves after today."


WTF?!?!  Why is he spending his available time/energy on this?  Why isn't he reading about Do-It-Yourself Roofing or Cheap Family Meals?

I know he has a bunch of blogs, I didnt know it was 5,000 words but yes thats the way he is "wired" (using his words). He has been that way since i've met him. There are journals and writings all over his desk, he can write for hours. When we have disagreements instead of talking about it, he'll write about it and then hand me the notebook with a bunch of pages of his thoughts.

I dont imagine i'm going to change that about him, but lets please stay on topic about the roof. I have limited time while my kids take a nap to be on here.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: ShoulderThingThatGoesUp on January 31, 2017, 10:34:16 AM
Buyers have many options for financing houses that need work. They won't be able to get a standard or FHA mortgage but at the right price that won't matter. I think you need a different realtor. Consider looking for listings that say "cash only" and seeing which local realtors pop up often.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: charis on January 31, 2017, 10:35:09 AM
Buyers have many options for financing houses that need work. They won't be able to get a standard or FHA mortgage but at the right price that won't matter. I think you need a different realtor. Consider looking for listings that say "cash only" and seeing which local realtors pop up often.

+1 Get another realtor asap.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: swick on January 31, 2017, 10:42:52 AM
Realtors work on commission, so it is in their best interest to sell properties as fast as they can and at the highest price. You definitely need a second opinion.

It is quite common for a lender to send out an appraiser if they are not sure on the valuation of the property. They don't really care the state that it is in, as long as it is worth at least as much as the mortgage they are backing.

Tring to find a cash deal would be in your best interest. They do exist, it might take a little more leg work to find a realtor who deals with them, but your house (given the background provided about how much interior work was done) would be IDEAL for someone looking to flip the house. The room won't phase them one bit.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: researcher1 on January 31, 2017, 10:50:08 AM
Quote
We have acted. The tenants were told of our plans to sell and we are in talks with the realtor on how to move forward.
I started this topic because the advice we were given on here, the realtor is saying is false. We are looking for further advice
You are making this more complicated than it needs to be.  Interview 3 realtors, decide on one, and list the property the next day.  Done. 

Sounds like you've only spoken with one realtor, and that realtor wants the house impeccably maintained to minimize the time/effort she may need to put forth to sell.  Find another realtor.  Do you think you have the only house for sale that requires work?  Thousands of houses are sold everyday that need new roofs, foundations, electric, plumbing, ect.

Quote
Honey, the shingles are gone and all you see is plywood in several parts of the roof. The reason we don't have insurance is because the insurance company dropped us because the roof was so bad. I don't think there is any degree worse than this.
I believe this property has asphalt shingles.  Why not buy 1-2 bundles of shingles and replace the missing sections yourself?  It's not difficult.  This would allow you to get insurance on the house AND be able to sell it without worrying about the buyers financing.

Quote
My husband and I suggested this to the realtor and her response was that we run a risk in doing that. If the house doesn't sell, we then will have to put on the roof and buyers will be put off wondering if the roof caused rot damage below the new shingles.  Do you think this is true?
Get a new realtor!  This one just keeps coming up with excuses.  You cannot control what buyers may wonder about.  Your disclosure sheet, and their inspection, should provide them with the information they need.

Quote
You're right that we have no insurance. We are now on our property tax payment plan for the back taxes.
Is there also a plan in place to pay for the $4,000+ in taxes that are due next month?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: former player on January 31, 2017, 10:50:35 AM
Yes, look up the listings in your area for houses already for sale at the price point of your rental.  Write down the names and telephone numbers of the realtors who are selling them, and start calling.  Outline the problem, ask them for their advice, and give the listing to the one whom seems most on the ball with suggestions.  You should be able to have a tentative arrangement with someone by the end of today.

Good luck.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Dave1442397 on January 31, 2017, 11:03:36 AM
I live in an older development (1960), and have seen plenty of houses sold in pretty terrible condition.

Some have been foreclosures, but others were just estate sales or sales from people who got too old and infirm to maintain the property.

I've seen quite a few houses that sold and were immediately renovated, with a new roof being the first thing they did.

Do they sell for less than market value? Yes, but they still sell, and most of them sold pretty quickly.

Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: MayDay on January 31, 2017, 11:06:36 AM
Oh good lord. 

Call 3 realtors right now and ask them how they would handle this.  Pick one and list the house today. 

Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 11:23:31 AM
Sent messages to 2 other realtors. Waiting for their response.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: sailinlight on January 31, 2017, 11:35:45 AM
Also, don't let realtors boss you around.  They work for you.. their job is to find clients who want to buy the place.  You got enough advice here for what you're looking for.  I would call up any realtors that don't look super busy or high-end, and keep the conversation short.  "I have a house which isn't in the best condition that I need to sell fast.  It would likely be a cash offer.  What kind of commission would you charge in this situation?"  I can't remember from the original thread what you think the house is worth, but if it's more then $150k or so, you should be able to find someone willing to sell it for much less than 3%.  You should get a feel if they deal with this kind of situation a lot, some realtors specialize in it and already have a list of buyers lined up and it will take no work on their part.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: swick on January 31, 2017, 11:36:42 AM
Sent messages to 2 other realtors. Waiting for their response.

Good job! Once the ball gets rolling and you get used to doing these things, it will get easier and you will feel more powerful and in control.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 11:40:42 AM
2nd realtor texted back. Said that we would have to list it as "cash only". It will take a large percentage of buyers out of the equation but it can be done.

Waiting for the 3rd realtor.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: swick on January 31, 2017, 11:48:44 AM
2nd realtor texted back. Said that we would have to list it as "cash only". It will take a large percentage of buyers out of the equation but it can be done.

Waiting for the 3rd realtor.

It is a good thing to take a large % of the buyers out of the equation. It saves you time dealing with offers that will fall through, those who can't get the right financing etc. You don't need many buyers, you need the right buyer. This is a good way to find them.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: charis on January 31, 2017, 11:50:14 AM
I imagine most realtors would like to avoid taking a large percentage of buyers out of the equation.  But that's not really your concern right now.  Someone will get it done.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 11:51:22 AM
3rd realtor responded. Said the same thing as the first two. Cash only unless the buyer is willing to pay for the roof prior to closing.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: charis on January 31, 2017, 12:14:46 PM
Ok - so list it as cash only.  You can't afford to have the roof fixed and seem unwilling to fix it yourselves, so what other choice do you have?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: sailinlight on January 31, 2017, 12:18:22 PM
You want a cash buyer!  They close fast (you can have the money in your bank in 7-10 days) and don't have a ton of contingencies that might make the deal fall through.  Find a realtor that specializes in this.. there are people waiting for these deals
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 12:24:17 PM
You want a cash buyer!  They close fast (you can have the money in your bank in 7-10 days) and don't have a ton of contingencies that might make the deal fall through.  Find a realtor that specializes in this.. there are people waiting for these deals

Correct.

And all 3 realtors warned that cash buyers typically pay less than financed buyers. So we will likely walk away with less money.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: sailinlight on January 31, 2017, 12:29:08 PM
You want a cash buyer!  They close fast (you can have the money in your bank in 7-10 days) and don't have a ton of contingencies that might make the deal fall through.  Find a realtor that specializes in this.. there are people waiting for these deals

Correct.

And all 3 realtors warned that cash buyers typically pay less than financed buyers. So we will likely walk away with less money.

But every day you don't sell the house, you're paying outrageous interest rates on your debt and would have to finance a new roof to get the full-priced offer anyway.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: redbird on January 31, 2017, 12:32:44 PM
You want a cash buyer!  They close fast (you can have the money in your bank in 7-10 days) and don't have a ton of contingencies that might make the deal fall through.  Find a realtor that specializes in this.. there are people waiting for these deals

Correct.

And all 3 realtors warned that cash buyers typically pay less than financed buyers. So we will likely walk away with less money.

It would probably be worth taking that "loss" of less money for it though. It sounds like you can't afford to fix the roof yourselves right now, and selling it would get rid of all of the other expenses and liabilities related to it too.

I say go for it - try to find a cash buyer.

Good luck!
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: scantee on January 31, 2017, 12:35:04 PM
You want a cash buyer!  They close fast (you can have the money in your bank in 7-10 days) and don't have a ton of contingencies that might make the deal fall through.  Find a realtor that specializes in this.. there are people waiting for these deals

Correct.

And all 3 realtors warned that cash buyers typically pay less than financed buyers. So we will likely walk away with less money.

You're not in a situation that allows you the luxury of waiting to maximize the return on your investment. Your situation is such is that you need to stop hemorrhaging money, immediately, or you'll go bankrupt. Sell as quickly as possible and don't dwell on an alternate version of reality where you sell and make a ton of money.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: charis on January 31, 2017, 12:35:53 PM
You want a cash buyer!  They close fast (you can have the money in your bank in 7-10 days) and don't have a ton of contingencies that might make the deal fall through.  Find a realtor that specializes in this.. there are people waiting for these deals

Correct.

And all 3 realtors warned that cash buyers typically pay less than financed buyers. So we will likely walk away with less money.

It would probably be worth taking that "loss" of less money for it though. It sounds like you can't afford to fix the roof yourselves right now, and selling it would get rid of all of the other expenses and liabilities related to it too.

I say go for it - try to find a cash buyer.

Good luck!

Also, the risk of not having it insured is MUCH worse than walking away with less cash.   
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 12:37:03 PM
You want a cash buyer!  They close fast (you can have the money in your bank in 7-10 days) and don't have a ton of contingencies that might make the deal fall through.  Find a realtor that specializes in this.. there are people waiting for these deals

Correct.

And all 3 realtors warned that cash buyers typically pay less than financed buyers. So we will likely walk away with less money.

You're not in a situation that allows you the luxury of waiting to maximize the return on your investment. Your situation is such is that you need to stop hemorrhaging money, immediately, or you'll go bankrupt. Sell as quickly as possible and don't dwell on an alternate version of reality where you sell and make a ton of money.

I understand.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: redbird on January 31, 2017, 12:39:01 PM
You want a cash buyer!  They close fast (you can have the money in your bank in 7-10 days) and don't have a ton of contingencies that might make the deal fall through.  Find a realtor that specializes in this.. there are people waiting for these deals

Correct.

And all 3 realtors warned that cash buyers typically pay less than financed buyers. So we will likely walk away with less money.

It would probably be worth taking that "loss" of less money for it though. It sounds like you can't afford to fix the roof yourselves right now, and selling it would get rid of all of the other expenses and liabilities related to it too.

I say go for it - try to find a cash buyer.

Good luck!

Also, the risk of not having it insured is MUCH worse than walking away with less cash.

Exactly. That was one of the things I was thinking about when I said liabilities. There's also the fact that they have a severely damaged roof. With a roof that bad, the elements/animals/pests could easily cause even more damage. The longer this building goes with a poor roof, the less valuable it's going to become. Beatles Family should cash out on it while they can while it's still worth something.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: BabyShark on January 31, 2017, 12:47:57 PM
I just want to say that I'm really impressed you're here and looking for feedback and taking action.  I followed along with the other thread and it would be overwhelming to say the least.  I can't offer constructive feedback other than that right now, but good work.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: ysette9 on January 31, 2017, 01:02:07 PM
I, too, would like to add in my support for you, Mrs Beatles. Good job coming back, good job asking questions. We really want you to succeed. Choose a realtor and get that sucker on the market right away. Good luck!
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: honeybbq on January 31, 2017, 01:02:19 PM
2nd realtor texted back. Said that we would have to list it as "cash only". It will take a large percentage of buyers out of the equation but it can be done.



How many buyers do you have right now?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: honeybbq on January 31, 2017, 01:03:13 PM
You want a cash buyer!  They close fast (you can have the money in your bank in 7-10 days) and don't have a ton of contingencies that might make the deal fall through.  Find a realtor that specializes in this.. there are people waiting for these deals

Correct.

And all 3 realtors warned that cash buyers typically pay less than financed buyers. So we will likely walk away with less money.

Here ya go:

Option 1: Fix roof. Make more money. Except a roof costs money, which you don't have... leading to:

Option 2: Don't fix roof, make less money.

Which one is realistic?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: PJ on January 31, 2017, 01:08:28 PM
I just want to say that I'm really impressed you're here and looking for feedback and taking action.  I followed along with the other thread and it would be overwhelming to say the least.  I can't offer constructive feedback other than that right now, but good work.

I, too, would like to add in my support for you, Mrs Beatles. Good job coming back, good job asking questions. We really want you to succeed. Choose a realtor and get that sucker on the market right away. Good luck!

+1 and +1

I read through all of the other thread in a couple of long sittings, and it was overwhelming even for me!  And I know it upset both you and your husband at times.  Yet you seem to have been able to get past that, and see past that to the fact that there's good advice here, and now we see you taking the reins and trying to move forward on what's been suggested.

(https://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?&id=OIP.Ueyrj997oZ8P_R-XqRRS3AEsCA&w=300&h=128&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0&r=0)
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 01:22:45 PM
I just want to say that I'm really impressed you're here and looking for feedback and taking action.  I followed along with the other thread and it would be overwhelming to say the least.  I can't offer constructive feedback other than that right now, but good work.

I, too, would like to add in my support for you, Mrs Beatles. Good job coming back, good job asking questions. We really want you to succeed. Choose a realtor and get that sucker on the market right away. Good luck!

+1 and +1

I read through all of the other thread in a couple of long sittings, and it was overwhelming even for me!  And I know it upset both you and your husband at times.  Yet you seem to have been able to get past that, and see past that to the fact that there's good advice here, and now we see you taking the reins and trying to move forward on what's been suggested.


Thank you for the kindness, both you and everyone else who has said nice things in this thread.

Honestly it took a lot of gusto for me to log into here today. I contemplated it for a while. I am a little bitter that the admins thought it was prudent to ban my husband. He said some not nice things but he was exhausted and overwhelmed and they took that time to stop him from coming back here, right in the middle of a time that we need this forums help and advice the most. I simply dont have the time to be on here that he does. It is what it is.

Thanks for the help everyone.

Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 01:24:32 PM
If anyone has advice on how to tell the tenant that we will be bringing a realtor over without freaking them out and making them look at other houses to move to, i would appreciate it.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Cranky on January 31, 2017, 01:56:57 PM
Well, they're probably going to have to move when you sell it anyway, and if they haven't moved out of a house with a bad roof and no insurance, it's possible that they can't afford to move.

I'm with the chorus - you already have no money, so either you sell the house for whatever you can get for it, or you buy some shingles and you and your parents and Mr. Beetle and whatever friends you can muster climb up and nail some shingles on there, and then you sell it.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: marty998 on January 31, 2017, 02:01:04 PM
Tenants know this when they sign the lease - there will be regular inspections and they will need to be cooperative during a potential selling process.

All part of the deal, hopefully your ones are reasonable people and don't make things a hassle.

Good luck with your sale.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: ysette9 on January 31, 2017, 02:14:14 PM
Depending on your state, you are probably required to give them x days/hours notice in advance that you need to enter the property. My landlord just emails me to say "I need to check out X this week. Is it okay if I enter the house on Y day?"

In your case it sounds like they already know you are thinking about selling since you said they are not able to buy it themselves (I presume you found this out in an actual conversation with them). Just simply follow up and say you are having a real estate agent over on whichever day.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 02:26:16 PM
Tenants know this when they sign the lease - there will be regular inspections and they will need to be cooperative during a potential selling process.

All part of the deal, hopefully your ones are reasonable people and don't make things a hassle.

Good luck with your sale.

The issue is not whether they understand this, but rather we dont want them to leave or find another place to live before we sell (we need the rent money).
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on January 31, 2017, 02:29:18 PM
Quote
- The buyer's lender might not consider the roof to be "bad."

Honey, the shingles are gone and all you see is plywood in several parts of the roof. The reason we don't have insurance is because the insurance company dropped us because the roof was so bad. I don't think there is any degree worse than this.

Then replace the roof.

Use a credit card.

Then sell the rental.

Then sell the house you are living in now.

Rent something small.  Really small.

Sell all materials possessions that will not fit into the rental house when you move.

Use money from selling shit to pay down debt.

Use money saved from not making mortgage payments to payment to pay down debt.

Use money saved from not paying property taxes anymore (renters do not pay property taxes) to pay down debt.

Use money saved from reduced utilities to pay down debt.

Sell the big mansion, too.

That's three home sales in short order.  You are going to make some real estate agent very happy, and you are going to have hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash.

Invest the cash.  Do not buy another home.  Keep renting a small house.

Once all debts are gone, invest the money you are saving from not living the prior lifestyle.

You will be rich in very short order.

Did I leave anything out?

Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: researcher1 on January 31, 2017, 03:56:22 PM
If anyone has advice on how to tell the tenant that we will be bringing a realtor over without freaking them out and making them look at other houses to move to, i would appreciate it.

I thought you had already told the tenant???  Earlier you said this...
"We have acted. The tenants were told of our plans to sell and we are in talks with the realtor on how to move forward."

If you've told them your plans to sell, then they shouldn't be "freaked out" about bringing a realtor over.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: ysette9 on January 31, 2017, 03:58:05 PM
Quote
The issue is not whether they understand this, but rather we dont want them to leave or find another place to live before we sell (we need the rent money).

I just don't see that you have other viable options here. You can't tiptoe around the property without letting them know what is going on. That is shady. The real estate agent can't do a proper job of assessing and marketing that property if she/he can't see it. You can't dig out of this mess until you sell the property. I think you just have to take a big breath and reach out to the tenants. Be honest, keep them in the loop, listen to their concerns. It is very possible that whoever buys the place will want the renters to stay put since it will likely stay a rental/investment property. Every minute you don't do something your situation is getting worse, so take the plunge and just reach out to the renters. Hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: CheapScholar on January 31, 2017, 04:34:48 PM
I really admire you coming on here.  I'm no real estate expert, but it seems to me you need to replace the roof and have a relator sell the property within a month or 2.  I also read the blog by Mr. Beatles.  Very long, as noted.  I get that writing is cathartic for him; I write myself.  Can he cut his hours writing and Uber or deliver pizzas, sell stuff on eBay to help pass some time?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: researcher1 on January 31, 2017, 04:45:39 PM
Can he cut his hours writing and Uber or deliver pizzas, sell stuff on eBay to help pass some time?

All of these things were suggested many times by many people.  He's unwilling to do any of them.
- They supposedly don't have Uber where he lives
- He can't deliver pizza because of a "bad back"
- He doesn't want to sell anything because he won't get much for it and will "take a big loss"
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: CheapScholar on January 31, 2017, 05:06:28 PM
That's right, researcher.  I remember now.  So, then, some type of side hustle.  It would be for Beatles to think of what exactly that is.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: ysette9 on January 31, 2017, 05:07:03 PM
Let's not let this devolve into rehashing the original thread. I think we need to be gentle but firm with Mrs Beatles and focus on simple, actionable steps she can implement. I think we might have thrown too much at them all at once before. It is a lot to digest.

So, one thing at a time. Choose a real estate agent and get that sucker listed already! Cash-only offers. Let's close this sucker soon and then move on to the next big step to plug the holes of this sinking ship.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Iplawyer on January 31, 2017, 05:09:18 PM
Mrs. Beatles - I thought that you did not have an outside job.  Why don't you have more time to do this research yourself? I think you both need to step up to the plate here. 
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: former player on January 31, 2017, 05:13:38 PM
I really admire you coming on here.  I'm no real estate expert, but it seems to me you need to replace the roof and have a relator sell the property within a month or 2.  I also read the blog by Mr. Beatles.  Very long, as noted.  I get that writing is cathartic for him; I write myself.  Can he cut his hours writing and Uber or deliver pizzas, sell stuff on eBay to help pass some time?
There is no point suggesting that the beatles replace the roof: they don't have the money to pay anyone else (they are close to bankruptcy) or the knowledge and physical ability to do it themselves.  They have to sell the house "as is" for whatever they can get, as soon as they can get it, so that it doesn't get foreclosed (or burn down while uninsured) and to give themselves some breathing room on their other debts.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: CheapScholar on January 31, 2017, 05:15:34 PM
Sorry I got off topic!  Mrs. Beatles, I assume you already thought of this, but can any family or friends recommend a realtor that can be trusted?  Have you received at least a few quotes on the roof yet?  I see no reason why you can't list the property now and inform potential buyers that a new roof will be added.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 05:23:24 PM
If anyone has advice on how to tell the tenant that we will be bringing a realtor over without freaking them out and making them look at other houses to move to, i would appreciate it.

I thought you had already told the tenant???  Earlier you said this...
"We have acted. The tenants were told of our plans to sell and we are in talks with the realtor on how to move forward."

If you've told them your plans to sell, then they shouldn't be "freaked out" about bringing a realtor over.

I can see how that was confusing, as I did not word it properly. We asked the tenant if they wanted to purchase the property. We didn't tell them that we were going to sell it no matter what.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 05:34:40 PM
Mrs. Beatles - I thought that you did not have an outside job.  Why don't you have more time to do this research yourself? I think you both need to step up to the plate here.

Taking care of children is a full time job, mind you.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 05:35:31 PM
Sorry I got off topic!  Mrs. Beatles, I assume you already thought of this, but can any family or friends recommend a realtor that can be trusted?  Have you received at least a few quotes on the roof yet?  I see no reason why you can't list the property now and inform potential buyers that a new roof will be added.

The realtor our family uses is the one that everyone in this thread has told me not to trust. I've since contacted other realtors and they said the same thing.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: former player on January 31, 2017, 05:38:20 PM
Sorry I got off topic!  Mrs. Beatles, I assume you already thought of this, but can any family or friends recommend a realtor that can be trusted?  Have you received at least a few quotes on the roof yet?  I see no reason why you can't list the property now and inform potential buyers that a new roof will be added.

The realtor our family uses is the one that everyone in this thread has told me not to trust. I've since contacted other realtors and they said the same thing.
Is that quite right?  I thought your first realtor told you you needed to replace the roof, which you can't do so you have ended up doing nothing for months.  It seems that the others have said you can list for cash buyers, so that is something you can do immediately.  That's a considerable difference.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: MayDay on January 31, 2017, 05:38:42 PM
Mrs. Beatles - I thought that you did not have an outside job.  Why don't you have more time to do this research yourself? I think you both need to step up to the plate here.

Taking care of children is a full time job, mind you.

When your children are months if not weeks from their parents losing everything, those children can have an hour or two of pbskidds a day while mommy gets shit done so they still have a roof over their heads. 

Lol for days that you don't have any free time at all. Are you telling me that your parents who you provide housing for, or your in laws who bale you our repeatedly, won't watch the kids for a few hours once a week?  That your kids never watch telly? Or sleep?

What alternate universe do you live in? MOD NOTE: Keep advice actionable, realize everyone is in a different place and some need more support than facepunches, if you can't do that, remove yourself from the thread.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: pbkmaine on January 31, 2017, 05:43:57 PM
This is my strong recommendation:

https://www.daveramsey.com/fpu/classes
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 05:48:48 PM
I really admire you coming on here.  I'm no real estate expert, but it seems to me you need to replace the roof and have a relator sell the property within a month or 2.  I also read the blog by Mr. Beatles.  Very long, as noted.  I get that writing is cathartic for him; I write myself.  Can he cut his hours writing and Uber or deliver pizzas, sell stuff on eBay to help pass some time?

Actually, he started doing freelance work. He's probably gonna be really mad at me now because he wanted to tell everyone himself, but he is very good at what he does and quickly picked up two clients. He signed a $3,600 contract with the first client and received $500 for a quick project with the second client. We won't receive the $3,600 until May I was told but got the $500 literally today ($456). We don't have Uber in our area but he would love to do that. He can't deliver pizzas because of a medical issue.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 05:50:29 PM
Sorry I got off topic!  Mrs. Beatles, I assume you already thought of this, but can any family or friends recommend a realtor that can be trusted?  Have you received at least a few quotes on the roof yet?  I see no reason why you can't list the property now and inform potential buyers that a new roof will be added.

The realtor our family uses is the one that everyone in this thread has told me not to trust. I've since contacted other realtors and they said the same thing.
Is that quite right?  I thought your first realtor told you you needed to replace the roof, which you can't do so you have ended up doing nothing for months.  It seems that the others have said you can list for cash buyers, so that is something you can do immediately.  That's a considerable difference.

Our first realtor told us we could list it cash too. Which we didn't consider as an option because we didn't really think there would be anyone with that much money who would want our house.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: cats on January 31, 2017, 05:53:15 PM

The issue is not whether they understand this, but rather we dont want them to leave or find another place to live before we sell (we need the rent money).

I have had several friends leave rentals because the properties were sold. In all cases, they waited until the last possible minute to leave--either when the property sold, or when the landlord kicked them out to stage the place. Moving is a pain, most people will delay it for as long as possible.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: CheapScholar on January 31, 2017, 05:58:13 PM
I really admire you coming on here.  I'm no real estate expert, but it seems to me you need to replace the roof and have a relator sell the property within a month or 2.  I also read the blog by Mr. Beatles.  Very long, as noted.  I get that writing is cathartic for him; I write myself.  Can he cut his hours writing and Uber or deliver pizzas, sell stuff on eBay to help pass some time?

Actually, he started doing freelance work. He's probably gonna be really mad at me now because he wanted to tell everyone himself, but he is very good at what he does and quickly picked up two clients. He signed a $3,600 contract with the first client and received $500 for a quick project with the second client. We won't receive the $3,600 until May I was told but got the $500 literally today ($456). We don't have Uber in our area but he would love to do that. He can't deliver pizzas because of a medical issue.

That's awesome!  I hope he's not mad you blew his news. I'm sure he will have more success to report though after his 90 day ban.  : )
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Zoot on January 31, 2017, 06:03:14 PM
Our first realtor told us we could list it cash too. Which we didn't consider as an option because we didn't really think there would be anyone with that much money who would want our house.

People with enough cash to buy a house generally aren't buying it to live in--they are buying it to rehab it, and then either sell for a profit or rent it.

You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)

You're selling to a different market segment than people who want everything to be pristine and perfect.  The buyer you are looking for is someone who won't care about those things, and in fact might think "the worse the better" because they know they can put in the sweat equity to fix it up, or have an army of contractors they can call on to bring it back into rent-able condition.

Good luck!  We are all rooting for you!
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Zoot on January 31, 2017, 06:07:59 PM
Also, Mrs. Beatles, you might be interested in this section of the forum:

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/real-estate-and-landlording/

You'll find all kinds of expertise there--it might be better to post your question in that section, as there may be people who have been in a similar situation.  Heck, I even wonder if someone there might be interested in buying the house.  ;-)
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 06:13:04 PM


You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)


That really bothers me. Aside from the roof, the house is immaculate. It is brand new.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: pbkmaine on January 31, 2017, 06:16:12 PM
Then fix the roof and sell.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: rpr on January 31, 2017, 06:20:40 PM


You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)


That really bothers me. Aside from the roof, the house is immaculate. It is brand new.

I understand how frustrating it must be. As can be seen, your choices are

1. Pay to fix the roof --> needs money on hand
2. Fix the roof yourself --> needs skills
3. See as is --> take a loss

You need to decide. The sooner this is made, the faster you can progress into fixing other areas.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Iplawyer on January 31, 2017, 06:20:48 PM
Mrs. Beatles - I thought that you did not have an outside job.  Why don't you have more time to do this research yourself? I think you both need to step up to the plate here.

Taking care of children is a full time job, mind you.

That is why I said "outside" job.  Many, many, many people here do side hustles and find lots of time to help out the family financially while raising children. 
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: MayDay on January 31, 2017, 06:24:41 PM


You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)


That really bothers me. Aside from the roof, the house is immaculate. It is brand new.

Then even a cash buyer will be willing to play close to whatever "full price minus roof cost" is.

The problem is that the more you drag your feet, the less immaculate the house will be. The roof will leak and damage the inside of the house. Then it's worth less than it is today.

You have a depreciating asset. Right now it's depreciating a tiny bit as more shingles blow off and more leaks occur slowly. But all it takes is one normal spring storm and the value will take a nosedive. All it takes is one accidental fire and the value is zero.

So the hypothetical full price sale isn't on the table unless you are willing to sell one of your other houses to fund the roof repair. But the longer you spend dithering over it, the more likely the rental house has suffered more damage, making the price even lower.

That's why we are all in a panic. We are all envisioning your burned down house (tenants are not as careful as you would be!) and screaming at you to fix it while you still can, and you are in a state of paralysis just watching it burn. 
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Iplawyer on January 31, 2017, 06:26:29 PM


You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)


That really bothers me. Aside from the roof, the house is immaculate. It is brand new.

Just a little advice in case you ever find yourself in such a situation again - before you improve  and add "luxuries" to the inside of a house - you must take care of it structurally and on the outside least you end up with nothing.  If the roof collapses you will loose everything.  It is better to have a sound roof than granite countertops for that reason. 

Further - why don't you hop on the bandwagon side hustle too so you can help the family out financially.  You can deliver pizzas in the evening while your husband watches the kids and does his side hustle.  Kids should be able to play and entertain themselves without constant parental stimulation.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: mustachepungoeshere on January 31, 2017, 06:53:03 PM


You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)


That really bothers me. Aside from the roof, the house is immaculate. It is brand new.

Just a little advice in case you ever find yourself in such a situation again - before you improve  and add "luxuries" to the inside of a house - you must take care of it structurally and on the outside least you end up with nothing.  If the roof collapses you will loose everything.  It is better to have a sound roof than granite countertops for that reason...

Forgive me if this has already been addressed, but if the house is brand new why is the roof in such bad condition?

In Australia a rash of new rental properties were thrown up so quickly that cosmetic and structural problems became apparent six or 12 months later (rendering falling off external walls was common). Various owners corporations had to either threaten or undertake legal action to get necessary repairs.

Would you have any recourse with the builder?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: swick on January 31, 2017, 07:05:34 PM
Theotherbeatles:

You might not have seen it in the other case study, as it was rather buried, but it came to light that you OWE 19,000 in back taxes on the rental. You OWE ANOTHER 4,000 bill for this year.

YOU ARE MORE THAN 3 YEARS BEHIND ON THE TAXES.

This is important because in the county you live in they have the right to TAKE YOUR PROPERTY after TWO YEARS.

If they take it for unpaid taxes, you will get nothing.

YOU HAVE NO INSURANCE. If something happens on your property, you could lose it and get nothing Worse, you could be SUED and LOSE EVERYTHING - all your houses, all your possessions - leaving you, your children, your parents all homeless.

I know it is hard to think about the money that was put into updating the house. I know it is hard to think of taking less money than you think it is worth, but you have to drastically alter your thinking. You have so much debt that the worst scenario you can imagine could happen. You need to protect yourself and your family. Nothing else matters.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Laura33 on January 31, 2017, 07:06:00 PM


You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)


That really bothers me. Aside from the roof, the house is immaculate. It is brand new.

So.  Have you considered that the story of the rental is a metaphor for how you got into your current situation?  It appears that you focused on all of the shiny/pretty things, but in doing so critically shortchanged the structure on which that house (life) was based, and now that omission threatens the whole thing.  The first rule of renovation (life) is that you make sure the structure is sound and weathertight before you spend a penny on blingy finishes.

You are at a point where you have realized how shaky your foundation is, but you are still clinging to the dream, that vision of the perfect life that you were chasing when you started down that path (in this case, that great investment property to bring you cash flow and appreciation).  The best thing you can do now is change your mindset.  Your financial priorities were flipped from where they needed to be, so do that 180-degree turn and put first things first.  And that means raising cash and reducing debt, as quickly as you can -- even when that means giving up on the pretty stuff (valuable investment property) you wanted so much.

IOW, something needs to go on the market this week, priced for a quick sale.  It can be the rental, as is, listed with a realtor who specializes in investment properties.  It can be the house you live in (and you guys move into the rental).  It can be the home your parents live in, which would free up much-needed equity.  Your life, your call -- it just needs to be something.

I am not meaning to belittle the pain in giving up that dream, that vision.  But it is also the single-most important step you can take right now, both for your finances and for yourself, to prove to yourself that you now have your priorities in the right order, and to start to live what that feels like.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: PJ on January 31, 2017, 07:20:40 PM


You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)


That really bothers me. Aside from the roof, the house is immaculate. It is brand new.

Just a little advice in case you ever find yourself in such a situation again - before you improve  and add "luxuries" to the inside of a house - you must take care of it structurally and on the outside least you end up with nothing.  If the roof collapses you will loose everything.  It is better to have a sound roof than granite countertops for that reason...

Forgive me if this has already been addressed, but if the house is brand new why is the roof in such bad condition?

In Australia a rash of new rental properties were thrown up so quickly that cosmetic and structural problems became apparent six or 12 months later (rendering falling off external walls was common). Various owners corporations had to either threaten or undertake legal action to get necessary repairs.

Would you have any recourse with the builder?

IIRC from the original thread, mustachepungoeshere, it's not literally a brand new house. 

It's a house that they previously lived in, and while they were there, thebeatles' parents made significant contributions to upgrade a whole lot of stuff in the house.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 07:32:02 PM


You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)


That really bothers me. Aside from the roof, the house is immaculate. It is brand new.

Just a little advice in case you ever find yourself in such a situation again - before you improve  and add "luxuries" to the inside of a house - you must take care of it structurally and on the outside least you end up with nothing.  If the roof collapses you will loose everything.  It is better to have a sound roof than granite countertops for that reason...

Forgive me if this has already been addressed, but if the house is brand new why is the roof in such bad condition?

In Australia a rash of new rental properties were thrown up so quickly that cosmetic and structural problems became apparent six or 12 months later (rendering falling off external walls was common). Various owners corporations had to either threaten or undertake legal action to get necessary repairs.

Would you have any recourse with the builder?

IIRC from the original thread, mustachepungoeshere, it's not literally a brand new house. 

It's a house that they previously lived in, and while they were there, thebeatles' parents made significant contributions to upgrade a whole lot of stuff in the house.

Yes correct.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on January 31, 2017, 07:33:23 PM
Theotherbeatles:

You might not have seen it in the other case study, as it was rather buried, but it came to light that you OWE 19,000 in back taxes on the rental. You OWE ANOTHER 4,000 bill for this year.

YOU ARE MORE THAN 3 YEARS BEHIND ON THE TAXES.

This is important because in the county you live in they have the right to TAKE YOUR PROPERTY after TWO YEARS.

If they take it for unpaid taxes, you will get nothing.

YOU HAVE NO INSURANCE. If something happens on your property, you could lose it and get nothing Worse, you could be SUED and LOSE EVERYTHING - all your houses, all your possessions - leaving you, your children, your parents all homeless.

I know it is hard to think about the money that was put into updating the house. I know it is hard to think of taking less money than you think it is worth, but you have to drastically alter your thinking. You have so much debt that the worst scenario you can imagine could happen. You need to protect yourself and your family. Nothing else matters.

I know you're right. We are working on a day to meet the realtor at the house.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: swick on January 31, 2017, 07:39:52 PM
I know you're right. We are working on a day to meet the realtor at the house.

This is a really good first step. It has taken a lot of courage for you to wade in here and face the situation you are in.

You are going to have to make lots of hard choices to secure your family's future. You can do this. YOU have the capacity to learn and take charge and you have lots of support.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: charis on January 31, 2017, 07:55:44 PM
You can do this. You are so close to turning this thing around. It has to be drastic, but once you finally realize what you have to do (all of it, the other properties too), you will wish you did it sooner. Taking care of children IS a full time job, but mothers will work two, sometimes 2.5 jobs if they have to. It will only be temporary for you.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Pizzabrewer on January 31, 2017, 08:09:13 PM
It wouldn't hurt to contact these people (or one of several others in your area):

http://www.mightyhomebuyers.com/

They'll make an all-cash offer, no closing costs or real estate commission, fast closing, get the thing off your hands to stop the bleeding.

Yes it will be low-ball but it wouldn't hurt to see what they offer.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Zoot on January 31, 2017, 08:13:31 PM
You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)
That really bothers me. Aside from the roof, the house is immaculate. It is brand new.

I'm sorry if my words were offensive.  That was definitely not my intention.  :)

However, let's take a look at what happened here:  I assumed that because the roof was in bad shape, other things in the house were also in bad shape.  This is what will happen in the mind of your garden-variety "retail" house shopper (who will almost certainly be using a mortgage to buy).  As others including your realtor have said, if this is the market you want to sell to, you will need to fix the roof, or they won't even get out of the car to come inside and look at the condition of the inside.

But your "clearance" shopper--that is, an investor or future landlord buying with cash--will be able to see the roof for what it is, and will have the "eye" to know the condition of all the other major systems (HVAC, plumbing, wiring, foundation).  That kind of buyer will be experienced in doing the math of the overall purchase price and can offer accordingly.

In my world, it would be like shopping for a pair of pants on a clearance rack.  If the hem is ripped out of one leg, I know I can fix that myself with minimal effort and would certainly buy them if the price is right; a ripped hem would not scare me off.  But if it's missing a zipper, or has a huge rip in the fabric, I would know it would be out of my league to fix and I'd pass.  I'm a "clearance" shopper in that regard.  But many people don't want to be bothered with hemming a pants leg, and they just want something "perfect" and "new." 

What it comes down to is this:  do you have the TIME and the MONEY to fix the roof and attract the retail buyer?   If so, do it.  If not, put it on the market as a cash-only as-is sale. 

A compromise might be to put it on the market now as a cash-only/as-is, and then shop for roof quotes while it's on the market.  You can always take the cash-only listing down and re-list as a retail property after the roof is fixed. 

Good luck!
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: With This Herring on January 31, 2017, 09:46:52 PM
Mrs. Beatles, I am glad to see you are back on the forums and taking the steps necessary to protect your family's future.  I hope you find the forums as educational as many of us have.  :)


The issue is not whether they understand this, but rather we dont want them to leave or find another place to live before we sell (we need the rent money).

I have had several friends leave rentals because the properties were sold. In all cases, they waited until the last possible minute to leave--either when the property sold, or when the landlord kicked them out to stage the place. Moving is a pain, most people will delay it for as long as possible.

Because tenants moving before a sale is a worry for you, I will second this.  A friend down the street from me knows her landlord is trying to sell the property.  The landlord is already in discussions with a buyer.  My friend is waiting until the house is actually sold and the new owner decides that he wants the existing tenants to leave/wants to raise rent significantly before she finds a new place.  It is a pain to move everything, and people won't do it until they are sure it is necessary.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: FIRE me on January 31, 2017, 11:43:35 PM
You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)

That really bothers me. Aside from the roof, the house is immaculate. It is brand new.

I am not doubting your honesty, but I am doubting the accuracy of that statement. Considering that bare plywood has been visible for some time, there is certain to be significant water damage. If not in the ceilings, it is probably running down into the walls causing rot and mold.

Since you lack the resources to repair the roof, you should sell the house as is, right away. The price it brings will no doubt be very painful to you and your husband, but think of it a cauterizing a wound. Barbaric, hurts like hell, but it saves your life from bleeding out and infection.

Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Poundwise on February 01, 2017, 07:38:52 AM
Just stopping by to wish you and Mr. Beatles well.  You are making progress!

It's a painful thing to acknowledge that you've messed up and say goodbye to some things that could have been so nice (like rental income from the house) but it sounds like you've done the hard part already!  You will dig yourselves out, and when you start snowballing those credit cards you'll feel great.  And with the skills you learn in saving, you will become rich again and then you can buy an even better rental.  I don't discuss this much, but I dug myself out of a $80K debt, while on a $23K salary, in my early 30s and although I sometimes think about how rich I would be now if I had just saved that money, I am plenty well off now and I think my life and marriage are even stronger for what my husband and I went through. Blessings on you both.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 08:05:17 AM
You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)

That really bothers me. Aside from the roof, the house is immaculate. It is brand new.

I am not doubting your honesty, but I am doubting the accuracy of that statement. Considering that bare plywood has been visible for some time, there is certain to be significant water damage. If not in the ceilings, it is probably running down into the walls causing rot and mold.

Since you lack the resources to repair the roof, you should sell the house as is, right away. The price it brings will no doubt be very painful to you and your husband, but think of it a cauterizing a wound. Barbaric, hurts like hell, but it saves your life from bleeding out and infection.

If it sells for less than $60k, we won't be walking away with much of anything. That's the most painful part. Selling a house for no profit at all.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 08:05:39 AM
Just stopping by to wish you and Mr. Beatles well.  You are making progress!

It's a painful thing to acknowledge that you've messed up and say goodbye to some things that could have been so nice (like rental income from the house) but it sounds like you've done the hard part already!  You will dig yourselves out, and when you start snowballing those credit cards you'll feel great.  And with the skills you learn in saving, you will become rich again and then you can buy an even better rental.  I don't discuss this much, but I dug myself out of a $80K debt, while on a $23K salary, in my early 30s and although I sometimes think about how rich I would be now if I had just saved that money, I am plenty well off now and I think my life and marriage are even stronger for what my husband and I went through. Blessings on you both.

Would you mind telling your complete story?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: BabyShark on February 01, 2017, 08:09:54 AM
You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)

That really bothers me. Aside from the roof, the house is immaculate. It is brand new.

I am not doubting your honesty, but I am doubting the accuracy of that statement. Considering that bare plywood has been visible for some time, there is certain to be significant water damage. If not in the ceilings, it is probably running down into the walls causing rot and mold.

Since you lack the resources to repair the roof, you should sell the house as is, right away. The price it brings will no doubt be very painful to you and your husband, but think of it a cauterizing a wound. Barbaric, hurts like hell, but it saves your life from bleeding out and infection.

If it sells for less than $60k, we won't be walking away with much of anything. That's the most painful part. Selling a house for no profit at all.

The profit isn't going to be monetary, it's going to come from peace of mind that you're no longer dealing with that liability. 
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 08:14:55 AM
You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)

That really bothers me. Aside from the roof, the house is immaculate. It is brand new.

I am not doubting your honesty, but I am doubting the accuracy of that statement. Considering that bare plywood has been visible for some time, there is certain to be significant water damage. If not in the ceilings, it is probably running down into the walls causing rot and mold.

Since you lack the resources to repair the roof, you should sell the house as is, right away. The price it brings will no doubt be very painful to you and your husband, but think of it a cauterizing a wound. Barbaric, hurts like hell, but it saves your life from bleeding out and infection.

If it sells for less than $60k, we won't be walking away with much of anything. That's the most painful part. Selling a house for no profit at all.

The profit isn't going to be monetary, it's going to come from peace of mind that you're no longer dealing with that liability.

I'm sorry but I have a hard time with that logic. We could sell as-is and maybe make nothing. Or we could put a $4,000 roof on and perhaps make $35,000. Seems like an easy decision.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 08:16:21 AM
Here is what my husband posted about what we have done to the house.

http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/case-studies/the-beatles-case-study/800/
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Zoot on February 01, 2017, 08:22:31 AM
I'm sorry but I have a hard time with that logic. We could sell as-is and maybe make nothing. Or we could put a $4,000 roof on and perhaps make $35,000. Seems like an easy decision.

Then it sounds like you have already made your decision.  Whether the members of the forum agree or not is irrelevant if this is what you really want to do, having considered all of the advice that has been put forward.

Get three bids today (or choose between bids you already have) and get the work done.  Break the analysis paralysis, and move on your decision.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: swick on February 01, 2017, 08:24:51 AM

If it sells for less than $60k, we won't be walking away with much of anything. That's the most painful part. Selling a house for no profit at all.

This is the exact thinking that Mr. Beatles couldn't get over. it is painful, but it is a learning experience. You will be removing liabilities that put your family IN IMMEDIATE DANGER.

Mr. Beatles said he didn't want to lose the rental income - but it wasn't income since you OWE so much property tax, the rental has been COSTING you more money than it is bringing in and it has been hidden in the fact that there is no insurance and the roof has gone unrepaired.

Selling and settling your biggest debts including the property taxes and the IRS DEBTS may not get you any profit, but it may keep a roof over your head and your husband OUT OF JAIL.  Side note: I do hope Mr. Beatles has been following up with a tax attorney and has been actively working out how to deal with the IRS issue.

With that out of the way, you can start rebuilding and that is worth far more than any imagined lost profit.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Poundwise on February 01, 2017, 08:40:15 AM

Would you mind telling your complete story?

I would, as it would take ages to tell, and is basically the same story of everyone who has gotten into and out of debt.  :)

But the short story is I sold my car, sold a lot of stuff at a loss on ebay, took a second job, paid off my credit cards highest interest first, and we lived in extreme poverty for a year until husband and I got raises. After that first year of hell, it got a lot better and within about 3 years I was completely debt free (except for my eternal debt to Mr. Poundwise for his understanding and forgiveness), saving, and a lot wiser.

As humans, we are heavily loss averse.  You have to use your aversion to loss to your advantage-- turn your eyes away from your perceived loss on the house, and towards the loss you incur daily through the interest on your CC debts. To restate, you are focusing on the wrong thing when you are calculating your losses. 
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Novik on February 01, 2017, 08:41:48 AM
I wasn't involved in the other thread, but I've read some of it, including what you just linked us to, Mrs. Beatles, about the improvements done on the rental house. I couldn't find in the original thread the details about the sized/location of that house vs. your current one, but if you used to live there, and are happy with the interior, could you sell your current place and move back?

You wouldn't make anything off your current house, but I'm guessing you'd free up cashflow with lower mortgage, and be able to afford a new roof, and therefore could get insurance. It's not a great option, but if you can't stand to sell that rental house, it's another option.

But agree with other posters that selling the rental makes more sense.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: BabyShark on February 01, 2017, 08:44:15 AM
You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)

That really bothers me. Aside from the roof, the house is immaculate. It is brand new.

I am not doubting your honesty, but I am doubting the accuracy of that statement. Considering that bare plywood has been visible for some time, there is certain to be significant water damage. If not in the ceilings, it is probably running down into the walls causing rot and mold.

Since you lack the resources to repair the roof, you should sell the house as is, right away. The price it brings will no doubt be very painful to you and your husband, but think of it a cauterizing a wound. Barbaric, hurts like hell, but it saves your life from bleeding out and infection.

If it sells for less than $60k, we won't be walking away with much of anything. That's the most painful part. Selling a house for no profit at all.

The profit isn't going to be monetary, it's going to come from peace of mind that you're no longer dealing with that liability.

I'm sorry but I have a hard time with that logic. We could sell as-is and maybe make nothing. Or we could put a $4,000 roof on and perhaps make $35,000. Seems like an easy decision.

Except where do you get the $4,000 from?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Laura33 on February 01, 2017, 08:51:28 AM
I'm sorry but I have a hard time with that logic. We could sell as-is and maybe make nothing. Or we could put a $4,000 roof on and perhaps make $35,000. Seems like an easy decision.

In an ideal world, sure.  So assuming you choose to replace the roof:

1.  What is your plan for borrowing the $10K to replace the roof?

2.  What is your plan to pay the @$4K in property taxes due next month?

3.  What is the carrying cost of borrowing another $14K for several months, which would presumably be at 25-30% interest, and delaying paying down your high-interest debts for that period?

4.  How confident are you that roof + sale = $35K?  You can't know how much the roof is going to cost until you get quotes; I suspect the exposed plywood means the repairs will cost more than you hope.  And if you're relying on a single real estate agent's valuation, well, let's just say they have been known to exaggerate to get business.

None of your choices have changed since last month, and they aren't going to change (for the better, at least) in another month.  So if you have already decided that you don't want to sell until you replace the roof, it's past time to get quotes and look into financing. 

Honestly, my impression from reading these threads is that you are still stuck -- you know you need to do something, but you are still thinking the way you have always thought, and so all of the reasons why you don't want to sell keep coming back up and hitting you in the face.  But look at where that thinking has gotten you:  into massive debt, borrowing money at purely usurious interest rates (30%!) to fund your lifestyle, all the while with one of your primary "assets" at such risk that no insurance company will insure it.  You can't trust the thinking that got you into this kind of position -- you can't fixate on the two birds in the bush when the one you think you have in hand is actually a live grenade.

Sell something.  Now.  Put the rental on the market as is, today.  In the meantime, get quotes for a new roof, and figure out financing, so you can do the actual math (including March taxes + carrying costs of delaying the sale until after the repairs are done).  If you don't get a decent offer as is, you can always pull the house from the market and re-list once the roof is done.  You have choices -- you just need to make one.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: honeybbq on February 01, 2017, 09:07:04 AM
I really admire you coming on here.  I'm no real estate expert, but it seems to me you need to replace the roof and have a relator sell the property within a month or 2.  I also read the blog by Mr. Beatles.  Very long, as noted.  I get that writing is cathartic for him; I write myself.  Can he cut his hours writing and Uber or deliver pizzas, sell stuff on eBay to help pass some time?
There is no point suggesting that the beatles replace the roof: they don't have the money to pay anyone else (they are close to bankruptcy) or the knowledge and physical ability to do it themselves.  They have to sell the house "as is" for whatever they can get, as soon as they can get it, so that it doesn't get foreclosed (or burn down while uninsured) and to give themselves some breathing room on their other debts.

They have the option to take a "loan" from parents IIRC.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: honeybbq on February 01, 2017, 09:08:16 AM


You are not looking for a "retail" or "full price" buyer with a house in this condition.  You're looking for the equivalent of the clearance shopper.  :)


That really bothers me. Aside from the roof, the house is immaculate. It is brand new.

What doesn't matter in real estate is how you FEEL. You need to separate your feelings and emotions from a business transaction. The house cannot be immaculate if the roof is caving in. And it doesn't deserve top dollar, no matter what you believe it does - it deserves what someone will pay.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: ysette9 on February 01, 2017, 09:13:19 AM
Mrs. Beatles: I strongly recommend that you & your husband spend some minutes reading through the Bogleheads wiki article on Behavioral Pitfalls. https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Behavioral_pitfalls (https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Behavioral_pitfalls) This is very important reading for pretty much everyone because these are the ways that our human brains trick us into making bad financial and investment decisions. I think you are heavily stuck in what is called Loss Aversion.

Quote
Loss aversion

Loss aversion is the emotional tendency to strongly prefer avoiding losses over acquiring gains. As an example, loss aversion implies that one who loses $100 will feel twice the emotional pain as another person will feel satisfaction from receiving $100. Common indications include checking your portfolio on an almost daily basis, selling funds before you intended to lock in profits, or selling when you didn't intend to in order to avoid further losses.

To relate this to your situation, you are afraid of potentially losing a potential $35K (unconfirmed) of additional gains in the rental property that quite frankly, you have no reasonable way of attaining (you can't fix the roof yourself, you don't have the money to pay for the new roof, your finances are such a disaster that you can't borrow the money to fix the roof). In focusing on this, you are neglecting the massive scary imminent crushing debt you have accumulated that leaves you THISCLOSE to losing absolutely everything. Please recognize what is going on here and use your higher-level thinking to set this mental trap aside and do what you need to do. Sell that sucker immediately for anything you can get. Just being out from the really scary liability you carry now by having no insurance will be worth any cash you can walk away with.

Please, please, do the right thing. For you, for your kids, for your security.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 09:14:23 AM

If it sells for less than $60k, we won't be walking away with much of anything. That's the most painful part. Selling a house for no profit at all.

This is the exact thinking that Mr. Beatles couldn't get over. it is painful, but it is a learning experience. You will be removing liabilities that put your family IN IMMEDIATE DANGER.

Mr. Beatles said he didn't want to lose the rental income - but it wasn't income since you OWE so much property tax, the rental has been COSTING you more money than it is bringing in and it has been hidden in the fact that there is no insurance and the roof has gone unrepaired.



To be honest my husband is far further past than where I am. I'm still struggling a little. This morning he was talking about using less toothpaste and unplugging the darn stove when were not using it, and i'm just not at that level yet. 

Quote
Selling and settling your biggest debts including the property taxes and the IRS DEBTS may not get you any profit, but it may keep a roof over your head and your husband OUT OF JAIL.  Side note: I do hope Mr. Beatles has been following up with a tax attorney and has been actively working out how to deal with the IRS issue.

That's already done and paid.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: charis on February 01, 2017, 09:17:04 AM
Selling the rental is really a no-brainer, you have to start ripping off the band-aid.  One accident on that property tomorrow will bankrupt you.   Stop putting up self-imposed barriers to action.  You are right about one thing, though, just selling the rental (whether you fix the roof or not) is not going to get you as far as you need to go.   

What you really should be doing is what MANY people advised you to do on the old thread - sell both the rental and your current home and move into the apartment on the third property until your debts are gone. 

Unplugging the stove is a red herring - you guys have to get past this mindset.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on February 01, 2017, 09:18:02 AM
I'm sorry but I have a hard time with that logic. We could sell as-is and maybe make nothing. Or we could put a $4,000 roof on and perhaps make $35,000. Seems like an easy decision.

Well, then, since the decision is so easy, DO IT!!!!

I will offer my unsolicited opinion that it would be a rare thing indeed, in the real world, outside of posting on the internet, for a $4000 investment to yield a $35,000 return.  If true, and this can be done in a couple of months, then this 857% return would be equal to a 5,250% annual return.  If your numbers are correct, then this is indeed an easy choice, and, no matter my financial condition, I would get the $4000 and do it.  Borrow it at high interest if you have to, but do it.

Of course, you have enough crap to sell that you could probably raise the $4000 in short order (sell a car!  clean out the garage!  Sell!  Sell!  Sell!)

I agree with the poster above and say that it appears you have made up your mind.  I do not think this is a bad thing.  Making up your mind appears to be what has delayed things until now.  If you have made up your mind, then it is time to act.

Anyway, I already suggested on the prior page (the first page) that you borrow the $4000 and get to work:

Quote
- The buyer's lender might not consider the roof to be "bad."

Honey, the shingles are gone and all you see is plywood in several parts of the roof. The reason we don't have insurance is because the insurance company dropped us because the roof was so bad. I don't think there is any degree worse than this.

Then replace the roof.

Use a credit card.

Then sell the rental.

Then sell the house you are living in now.

Rent something small.  Really small.

Sell all materials possessions that will not fit into the rental house when you move.

Use money from selling shit to pay down debt.

Use money saved from not making mortgage payments to payment to pay down debt.

Use money saved from not paying property taxes anymore (renters do not pay property taxes) to pay down debt.

Use money saved from reduced utilities to pay down debt.

Sell the big mansion, too.

That's three home sales in short order.  You are going to make some real estate agent very happy, and you are going to have hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash.

Invest the cash.  Do not buy another home.  Keep renting a small house.

Once all debts are gone, invest the money you are saving from not living the prior lifestyle.

You will be rich in very short order.

Did I leave anything out?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: ysette9 on February 01, 2017, 09:18:48 AM
Quote
They have the option to take a "loan" from parents IIRC.

No, they don't have this option, for several reasons. First of all, they have to cut off the financial outpatient care and learn to be adults and stand on their own feet. Leaning on the parents is in part what got them into this mess. Secondly, her parents obviously have their own massive financial issues that aren't being addressed and can't afford to lend them money. Finally, fixing the roof will take time. They don't have time. Every day that goes buy that they are the "owners" of this property with no insurance is another day that they are risking everything. This house of cards can come crashing down spectacularly at any moment. All that has to happen is a renter trips and falls on the property or forgets to turn off the stove before leaving the house. If one of those events happens, The Beatles & family will be bankrupt, homeless, without a rental asset to sell to cover the associated liability, with no reasonable path for digging out of the mess. This situation is so critical it is massively more important to address IMMEDIATELY than arguing over fixing the damn roof.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on February 01, 2017, 09:19:36 AM
Quote
Selling and settling your biggest debts including the property taxes and the IRS DEBTS may not get you any profit, but it may keep a roof over your head and your husband OUT OF JAIL.  Side note: I do hope Mr. Beatles has been following up with a tax attorney and has been actively working out how to deal with the IRS issue.

That's already done and paid.
  What?  The IRS debt?  The property taxes? How?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: ysette9 on February 01, 2017, 09:21:51 AM
It's a huge mess. I recommend going back through the last few pages of the original Beatles case study to get it clarified. It isn't worth rehashing everything here.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: swick on February 01, 2017, 09:25:08 AM
Quote
Selling and settling your biggest debts including the property taxes and the IRS DEBTS may not get you any profit, but it may keep a roof over your head and your husband OUT OF JAIL.  Side note: I do hope Mr. Beatles has been following up with a tax attorney and has been actively working out how to deal with the IRS issue.

That's already done and paid.
  What?  The IRS debt?  The property taxes? How?

Yes, this is super important information. How did you either come up with the $40,000  owed or the amount negotiated?  Is it on a payment plan? Do you have enough money to cover the payments?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 09:28:54 AM
Quote
Selling and settling your biggest debts including the property taxes and the IRS DEBTS may not get you any profit, but it may keep a roof over your head and your husband OUT OF JAIL.  Side note: I do hope Mr. Beatles has been following up with a tax attorney and has been actively working out how to deal with the IRS issue.

That's already done and paid.
  What?  The IRS debt?  The property taxes? How?

The property taxes are on a payment plan. The IRS debt is taken care of (it's not technically paid yet, but will be any day now). We received a check just a few days ago to help pay that, as we found it most important.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: ysette9 on February 01, 2017, 09:29:50 AM
Quote
The IRS debt is taken care of. We received a check to help pay that, as we found it most important.

Boy, I sure hope that check didn't come from one of your parents.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on February 01, 2017, 09:32:00 AM
Quote
The IRS debt is taken care of. We received a check to help pay that, as we found it most important.

Boy, I sure hope that check didn't come from one of your parents.
  LOL!  It's either that or Readers Digest Sweepstakes . . .
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on February 01, 2017, 09:33:27 AM
What about Post #102?

Do you have $4000 credit available anywhere?  A $35,000 return on $4000 justifies paying a little bit of interest.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: researcher1 on February 01, 2017, 09:33:54 AM
I'm sorry but I have a hard time with that logic. We could sell as-is and maybe make nothing. Or we could put a $4,000 roof on and perhaps make $35,000. Seems like an easy decision.

Then it sounds like you have already made your decision.  Whether the members of the forum agree or not is irrelevant if this is what you really want to do, having considered all of the advice that has been put forward.

Get three bids today (or choose between bids you already have) and get the work done.  Break the analysis paralysis, and move on your decision.

theotherbeetle -

You've been given many reasons, by dozens of posters, why this rental property needs to be sold ASAP.  You even appear to accept this conclusion...
"I know you're right. We are working on a day to meet the realtor at the house."

But then, just 12 hours later, you post something like this...
"I'm sorry but I have a hard time with that logic. We could sell as-is and maybe make nothing. Or we could put a $4,000 roof on and perhaps make $35,000.  Seems like an easy decision."

Where is your head at????  I'm not sure why you continue to solicit feedback if you already have your mind made up. 
And if replacing the roof is the route you want to go, then GET IT DONE!
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Moustachienne on February 01, 2017, 09:36:09 AM
We may have seen this movie before...
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 09:36:34 AM
I'm sorry but I have a hard time with that logic. We could sell as-is and maybe make nothing. Or we could put a $4,000 roof on and perhaps make $35,000. Seems like an easy decision.

Then it sounds like you have already made your decision.  Whether the members of the forum agree or not is irrelevant if this is what you really want to do, having considered all of the advice that has been put forward.

Get three bids today (or choose between bids you already have) and get the work done.  Break the analysis paralysis, and move on your decision.

theotherbeetle -

You've been given many reasons, by dozens of posters, why this rental property needs to be sold ASAP.  You even appear to accept this conclusion...
"I know you're right. We are working on a day to meet the realtor at the house."

But then, just 12 hours later, you post something like this...
"I'm sorry but I have a hard time with that logic. We could sell as-is and maybe make nothing. Or we could put a $4,000 roof on and perhaps make $35,000.
Seems like an easy decision."


Where is your head at????  I'm not sure why you continue to solicit feedback if you already have your mind made up. 
And if replacing the roof is the route you want to go, then GET IT DONE!

I don't know where my head is at, i'm trying to figure this out. I have two kids crawling all over me and the laptop and i'm trying to fix this mess we are in. We have decided to sell the house, that is a given. We just haven't decided whether the roof will be fixed by us or the buyer. But the house IS being sold.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: ysette9 on February 01, 2017, 09:37:35 AM
Quote
Do you have $4000 credit available anywhere?  A $35,000 return on $4000 justifies paying a little bit of interest.

Is that a validated number though? I don't know that I trust it. Besides which, every moment spent arguing about fixing the roof or not is a moment that a tenant could be hurting him/herself and causing the downfall of this entire card-based empire. PUT THE RENTAL ON THE MARKET TODAY. Argue about fixing the roof or not AFTER it is listed. If you get an immediate cash offer then TAKE IT and run. If it doesn't sell immediately AND you manage to line up funds to fix the roof AND you have lined up a contractor who can do it IMMEDIATELY, then go ahead. But please, stop dithering and list the property because you are massively exposed to the risk of losing everything.

I don't normally "yell" online but sheesh, I have never seen such a scary and urgent situation in all of the case studies I have read over the years. This situation is dire.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 09:38:58 AM
Quote
The IRS debt is taken care of. We received a check to help pay that, as we found it most important.

Boy, I sure hope that check didn't come from one of your parents.

No its fine we consulted a tax attorney and he said as long as we count the money we receive as income then the IRS has no problem with it at all. It's legal. I was concerend about that and we did our due dillegence.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 09:39:44 AM
Quote
Do you have $4000 credit available anywhere?  A $35,000 return on $4000 justifies paying a little bit of interest.

Is that a validated number though? I don't know that I trust it. Besides which, every moment spent arguing about fixing the roof or not is a moment that a tenant could be hurting him/herself and causing the downfall of this entire card-based empire. PUT THE RENTAL ON THE MARKET TODAY. Argue about fixing the roof or not AFTER it is listed. If you get an immediate cash offer then TAKE IT and run. If it doesn't sell immediately AND you manage to line up funds to fix the roof AND you have lined up a contractor who can do it IMMEDIATELY, then go ahead. But please, stop dithering and list the property because you are massively exposed to the risk of losing everything.

I don't normally "yell" online but sheesh, I have never seen such a scary and urgent situation in all of the case studies I have read over the years. This situation is dire.

We are selling the house, I promise. I talked to a couple realtors yesterday. It's being sold.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: ysette9 on February 01, 2017, 09:40:01 AM
Quote
We have decided to sell the house, that is a given

Good job. Keeping plugging away.

As my decision analysis professor always told us, you haven't made a decision until you have invested significant time, money, or other assets to make it happen that would be hard to undo. You will truly have decided to sell the house once it is listed. :) We're cheering for you here!
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Captain FIRE on February 01, 2017, 09:40:34 AM
We may have seen this movie before...

But it's a day early for Groundhog Day!
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: ysette9 on February 01, 2017, 09:42:14 AM
Quote
No its fine we consulted a tax attorney and he said as long as we count the money we receive as income then the IRS has no problem with it at all. It's legal. I was concerned about that and we did our due diligence.

I admit to being confused on this one. Did the tax attorney give you the check? If we're back to talking about your parents, the concern isn't about being legal or not but all of the other concerns that I already detailed out.

However, if it is water under the bridge then let's just move on. Promise you, your husband, me, everyone online, and both sets of parents that you will never, ever again take any money from them. After selling your properties and addressing your outstanding debts you will be in a solid position and will never have to do it again.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on February 01, 2017, 09:43:57 AM
Sell all three houses . . .





****


Hundreds of thousands in equity converted to cash . . .
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on February 01, 2017, 09:45:08 AM
Selling all three could also probably get you a negotiated lower commission to the realtor.  They are going to make quite a bit on selling all three.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 09:52:11 AM
Sell all three houses . . .





****


Hundreds of thousands in equity converted to cash . . .

I understand your point, I do. Thank you for being so helpful and concerned. But please, allow us to stay on topic with the rental I beg you.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: researcher1 on February 01, 2017, 09:56:20 AM
That's already done and paid [IRS and property taxes owed].

This is what is so frustrating about you & your husband's posts, and probably why the first thread was locked, and Mr Beetles was banned.  You routinely provide incomplete and/or misleading information...

- The $9,000 in unpaid property taxes is far from "done and paid."  You are on a payment plan that won't be paid off for 2 YEARS!!
- I assume your in-laws ponied up another $40,000 to pay off your IRS debt?
- Don't forget you have another $4,500 property tax bill due in another month.  How is that going to get paid?
- Plus the $4,000 roof replacement cost.  Where is that money going to come from?

I'm betting you're going to further drain your in-laws to pay for these upcoming expenses.


Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Samuel on February 01, 2017, 09:57:37 AM
Mrs. Beatles: I strongly recommend that you & your husband spend some minutes reading through the Bogleheads wiki article on Behavioral Pitfalls. https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Behavioral_pitfalls (https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Behavioral_pitfalls) This is very important reading for pretty much everyone because these are the ways that our human brains trick us into making bad financial and investment decisions. I think you are heavily stuck in what is called Loss Aversion.

This is excellent advice. I can see almost every one of these "behavioral pitfalls" on display in the answers we've gotten.

And while you're in learning mode, theotherbeatle, google "sunk cost analysis" and try applying the concept to this rental house situation. And don't leave out the risks of having no insurance, a failing major system (roof) and nearly 3 years of delinquent property taxes from your analysis.

Facing evidence of sloppy thinking is difficult. But so is repeatedly coming back here for well meant but pointed advice from outside observers who, without your emotional investment and familial entanglements, can clearly see a major crisis requiring decisive action.

Keep an open mind. Good luck.









Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: charis on February 01, 2017, 10:04:20 AM
Sell all three houses . . .





****


Hundreds of thousands in equity converted to cash . . .

I understand your point, I do. Thank you for being so helpful and concerned. But please, allow us to stay on topic with the rental I beg you.

If you have already decided to sell the rental, I think it's a legitimate question - why you won't sell your current home or the other property tying up most of your equity. 
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Dezrah on February 01, 2017, 10:21:22 AM

To be honest my husband is far further past than where I am. I'm still struggling a little. This morning he was talking about using less toothpaste and unplugging the darn stove when were not using it, and i'm just not at that level yet. 


This is a mental trap.  These tactics really aren't meaningful until you're already a stable, lean-mean-frugal machine.  It's like shaving your legs to improve your drag resistance while swimming when you haven't even mastered your front-stroke.

It's not wrong to use the correct amount of toothpaste or minimize your vampire electricity, but they just won't change your life right now.  Right now you need Big Wins.  This by far will get you the most bang for your buck. 

As you stated, you have more time than your husband.  Use this to your advantage and go out and score the Big Wins.  Let him do his thing if he wants while you focus on making substantial changes.

Further reading http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/the-big-wins-manifesto/ (http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/blog/the-big-wins-manifesto/).  Note: the author generally leaves a bad taste in my mouth with his business model but the emphasis of the article is solid.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: MayDay on February 01, 2017, 10:34:53 AM
I am not saying the Beatles are trolls at all.

But the extremely similar style of just dropping in partial information and never explaining it, makes me think thebeatles and theotherbeatle are both the same person.

In ~2 years of being on this forum, I've never seen a poster with this style of writing.  What are the odds that both of them just happen to have the same style.

That's actually where most of the frustration comes from, I think.  Boneheaded people doing stupid things- yup, common, see AMWOSAC.  But this "dropping in" of partial info about paying stuff off, and then the follow-up of the attorney ok'ing it, while never explaining where the fuck the money came from?  That is unique.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 10:35:30 AM
Mrs. Beatles: I strongly recommend that you & your husband spend some minutes reading through the Bogleheads wiki article on Behavioral Pitfalls. https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Behavioral_pitfalls (https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Behavioral_pitfalls) This is very important reading for pretty much everyone because these are the ways that our human brains trick us into making bad financial and investment decisions. I think you are heavily stuck in what is called Loss Aversion.

Quote
Loss aversion

Loss aversion is the emotional tendency to strongly prefer avoiding losses over acquiring gains. As an example, loss aversion implies that one who loses $100 will feel twice the emotional pain as another person will feel satisfaction from receiving $100. Common indications include checking your portfolio on an almost daily basis, selling funds before you intended to lock in profits, or selling when you didn't intend to in order to avoid further losses.

To relate this to your situation, you are afraid of potentially losing a potential $35K (unconfirmed) of additional gains in the rental property that quite frankly, you have no reasonable way of attaining (you can't fix the roof yourself, you don't have the money to pay for the new roof, your finances are such a disaster that you can't borrow the money to fix the roof). In focusing on this, you are neglecting the massive scary imminent crushing debt you have accumulated that leaves you THISCLOSE to losing absolutely everything. Please recognize what is going on here and use your higher-level thinking to set this mental trap aside and do what you need to do. Sell that sucker immediately for anything you can get. Just being out from the really scary liability you carry now by having no insurance will be worth any cash you can walk away with.

Please, please, do the right thing. For you, for your kids, for your security.

Thank you for the link. I think my husband will get more out of it, but I did read a little bit.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 10:38:25 AM
I am not saying the Beatles are trolls at all.

But the extremely similar style of just dropping in partial information and never explaining it, makes me think thebeatles and theotherbeatle are both the same person.

In ~2 years of being on this forum, I've never seen a poster with this style of writing.  What are the odds that both of them just happen to have the same style.


I think that's an understandable conclusion, but I am taking care of kids so I'm sorry if I miss a post or dont give a lenghty enough answer. One of the mods are more than welcome to call me and speak to me over the phone. They can private message me and give me their number if they like.

Quote
That's actually where most of the frustration comes from, I think.  Boneheaded people doing stupid things- yup, common, see AMWOSAC.  But this "dropping in" of partial info about paying stuff off, and then the follow-up of the attorney ok'ing it, while never explaining where the fuck the money came from?  That is unique.

It is okay not to give every detail of our life, I would think. I feel that the pieces can be put together without us having to spell everything out and air our laundry out here. Hopefully you understand.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Moustachienne on February 01, 2017, 10:47:38 AM
For people who seem to be very indecisive in their real life, the beatles are very firm about how they want to interact with this forum, i.e. how responses should be focussed, what topics are off limits, what tone is OK or not, what information should be given or not.

That's OK but I'm confused about what the beatles actually want from the forum?  Can't help but think it's partly (mostly?) attention, to be honest. (The actual advice doesn't seem welcome. But maybe it's being absorbed.)  And the forum, including me, delivers!

*considers popcorn for breakfast*
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: researcher1 on February 01, 2017, 10:56:00 AM
It is okay not to give every detail of our life, I would think. I feel that the pieces can be put together without us having to spell everything out and air our laundry out here. Hopefully you understand.

But you are leaving out crucial pieces of information!!  And without this information no one can give you meaningful advice!!

The main issue at hand is getting rid of this rental property. 
You keep fighting back with everyone, wanting to keep the property until you are assured you can get top dollar for it.

Yet we keep asking...where are you going to get the $5000 to pay for a new roof, how are you going to pay for the $4,500 tax bill?
You don't provide ANY answers to these questions, but then happen to mention that $49,000 of debt has magically been repaid!!

Don't you think it is important to explain how that is possible?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: MayDay on February 01, 2017, 11:01:37 AM
If you magically got 40K to pay of the IRS, why haven't you magically gotten 4K to get a roof on the rental house?   

Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: researcher1 on February 01, 2017, 11:06:09 AM
For people who seem to be very indecisive in their real life, the beatles are very firm about how they want to interact with this forum, i.e. how responses should be focussed, what topics are off limits, what tone is OK or not, what information should be given or not.

That's OK but I'm confused about what the beatles actually want from the forum?  Can't help but think it's partly (mostly?) attention, to be honest. (The actual advice doesn't seem welcome. But maybe it's being absorbed.)

Excellent observation.  I think you are 100% correct. 

I'll continue watching this thread, but I think it is useless for anyone to post any further advice. 
Thebeatles don't seem to process anything that is said, only share bits/pieces of information, constantly flip-flop on what they intend to do, have an endless supply of magical money that wipes out debts, ect.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: john6221 on February 01, 2017, 11:21:19 AM
Methinks thebeatles are actually teaching a class on how to be world-class online trolls.

Sent from my XT1575 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 11:37:56 AM
For people who seem to be very indecisive in their real life, the beatles are very firm about how they want to interact with this forum, i.e. how responses should be focussed, what topics are off limits, what tone is OK or not, what information should be given or not.

That's OK but I'm confused about what the beatles actually want from the forum?  Can't help but think it's partly (mostly?) attention, to be honest. (The actual advice doesn't seem welcome. But maybe it's being absorbed.)  And the forum, including me, delivers!

*considers popcorn for breakfast*

I'm sorry that it has appeared this way. It's not like that in actuality. We are very much absorbing and taking action on much of the advice given. We texted the tenant this morning to find out when is a good day for us to come by with the realtor.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 11:38:28 AM
It is okay not to give every detail of our life, I would think. I feel that the pieces can be put together without us having to spell everything out and air our laundry out here. Hopefully you understand.

But you are leaving out crucial pieces of information!!  And without this information no one can give you meaningful advice!!

The main issue at hand is getting rid of this rental property. 
You keep fighting back with everyone, wanting to keep the property until you are assured you can get top dollar for it.

Yet we keep asking...where are you going to get the $5000 to pay for a new roof, how are you going to pay for the $4,500 tax bill?
You don't provide ANY answers to these questions, but then happen to mention that $49,000 of debt has magically been repaid!!

Don't you think it is important to explain how that is possible?

I private messaged you.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Goldielocks on February 01, 2017, 12:07:52 PM
3rd realtor responded. Said the same thing as the first two. Cash only unless the buyer is willing to pay for the roof prior to closing.

This is more common than you think...

I would just ask your parents for the money, as they would get it back within 6 months anyway.  I think you said it was $5-$6k to get enough roof done for financing?

Or, sell a car or something else, like find a temporary weekend job to pay for it, barter your services with the roofing company... ask the roofing company for financing or to delay full payment (showing your new paycheck)...  ask friends, other?   

Even if you don't sell the rental, that roof needs to be done ASAP for your insurance / tenants / investment.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on February 01, 2017, 12:12:15 PM
Sell all three houses . . .





****


Hundreds of thousands in equity converted to cash . . .

I understand your point, I do. Thank you for being so helpful and concerned. But please, allow us to stay on topic with the rental I beg you.
  Ok.  But in post #102, a part of it said "Replace the roof.  Use a credit card."

Do you have $4000 available on a credit card?

Can you sell enough crap to get $4000?

I agree that the roof needs to be fixed.  That would be true even if you were not selling it.

A buyer can fix it.

You are convinced that this would cost you $35000 at sale time.  I am not convinced, but it is you that must make the decision, so I say, fine, fix the roof.  Now please tell us how you are going to pay for that $4000.

Can you sell stuff to get it?

Can you borrow it?

Your husband's side gig will not bring it in within a short enough window of time.  I would not want to wait until May to replace something this important.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Goldielocks on February 01, 2017, 12:13:09 PM
theotherbeatle

Can I point out that the type and pattern of your responses in the past 48 hours is amazingly similar to beatles posting style, after the first posting?  (I noticed because beatles had a unusual posting style / frequency / type of comment for this forum, in general).


May you are now the beatles posting under a wife's name?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Malum Prohibitum on February 01, 2017, 12:14:13 PM
theotherbeatle

Can I point out that the type and pattern of your responses in the past 48 hours is amazingly similar to beatles posting style, after the first posting?  (I noticed because beatles had a unusual posting style / frequency / type of comment for this forum, in general).


May you are now the beatles posting under a wife's name?
Would admitting that be grounds for a ban of this second username?  Just asking.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 12:16:37 PM
theotherbeatle

Can I point out that the type and pattern of your responses in the past 48 hours is amazingly similar to beatles posting style, after the first posting?  (I noticed because beatles had a unusual posting style / frequency / type of comment for this forum, in general).


May you are now the beatles posting under a wife's name?

The beatles is my husband. A mod is welcome to call me on my cell phone to verify if they wish.

Likely wont be necessary though, I think i've received the answer that I came here for. Thanks.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Iplawyer on February 01, 2017, 12:31:23 PM
Agreed.  The wife is just as evasive as Beatles was.  Answer this question:

HOW DID YOU HANDLE PAYING FOR 40K OF TAXES?

When you answer that - I'll take you seriously.  Otherwise - I won't.

Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: PJ on February 01, 2017, 12:38:44 PM
Likely wont be necessary though, I think i've received the answer that I came here for. Thanks.

theotherbeatle, I really hope you've gotten what you need from this thread, and that you've made a decision about how you're going to go forward.  You have more choices than you think - sell the house as is (presumably to a cash buyer), or fix the roof (using credit, or by selling some of your stuff, or even by getting money from your IL's - despite what people here might think about that) so that it can be sold with a traditional mortgage.  Whichever option you've decided on, I want to wish you the very best of luck on moving forward with it quickly. 

Other posters aren't wrong in emphasizing the urgency of the matter - for myself, I have a sick feeling in my stomach thinking about all the things that could go wrong for you.  Fire or accident in an uninsured building, serious water damage due to the roof, foreclosure due to the unpaid property taxes.  At the heart of some of the face punches and questions about your identity is anxiety for the sake of your family and your financial future.  I don't know if you're a religious person, but I'm praying for you, that nothing goes wrong in the time it takes for you to get the property sold.

If you decide to come back to the forums afterward, consider looking through some of the many old case studies and journals, so that you can see how other people have managed to get past things like emotional attachments to things they own, sunk cost fallacies, family dynamics re: money, and the felt need to keep up with neighbours.  You are not the only one who has wrestled with taking these first big steps!  But once you get it done, and start to make headway, you will feel so unencumbered, you'll hardly understand how you stood up under the pressure of your debt before.  We've seen it before, and we're hoping the same for you!  (And some of us - myself included - are still in the midst of figuring it all out!)
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Goldielocks on February 01, 2017, 12:44:02 PM
Likely wont be necessary though, I think i've received the answer that I came here for. Thanks.

If you decide to come back to the forums afterward, consider looking through some of the many old case studies and journals, so that you can see how other people have managed to get past things like emotional attachments to things they own, sunk cost fallacies, family dynamics re: money, and the felt need to keep up with neighbours.  You are not the only one who has wrestled with taking these first big steps!  But once you get it done, and start to make headway, you will feel so unencumbered, you'll hardly understand how you stood up under the pressure of your debt before.  We've seen it before, and we're hoping the same for you!  (And some of us - myself included - are still in the midst of figuring it all out!)

Excellent post!  Beatles and theotherbeatle... I wish you the best, too.   
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 01:10:38 PM
I sent a couple PM's.

Last question (I hope): Does anyone know of any insurance options where we can insure the rest of the house, absent the roof?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: ShoulderThingThatGoesUp on February 01, 2017, 01:24:22 PM
I don't think you'll find insurance that really works like that.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: GetSmart on February 01, 2017, 01:25:13 PM
I just feel I need to respond before this thread goes the same way as the other one.  I’m going to go against the grain a bit here - so please read through before everyone starts jumping to conclusions. 

First, it is unfortunate that The Beatles feel the need for the cryptic answers, but to be fair, some commenters are going right back to the previous thread and making up a lot of things.  We don’t have a lot of information still: numbers, backstories, etc.  Without that information there are things that we just shouldn’t be commenting on. (i.e. - tons of people in this country owe back taxes - we have no idea if they have worked out a deal are making payments or what - please don’t assume that anyone is avoiding paying or doing anything illegal - we just don’t have that information, so not ours to judge).

Secondly, to the Beatles: it really feels as though you have blinders on (still) and cannot see the solutions that are lying at your feet. You need an ‘outside of the box’ solution which some here are trying to provide as you usually can’t see it yourself while you’re in the middle of the swamp.

I also understand the emotional and family components (and pulls) that are going on here and that should not be discounted.  Nobody here is living in your house - only you know what the real situation is.

Here’s my pitch:  From the numbers you’ve given it appears that the ‘big’ house with the guesthouse has a mortgage of @ 200k.  The house you’re in has a mortgage of @175k (can’t remember exactly)  these are not that far apart in payment sizes depending on interest rate and yet you couldn’t afford to stay in the big house.  I’m assuming that the taxes and insurance are much, much higher than on your current house.  So why not have your parents move into the guest house; you move into the big house.  You pay the P&I; your parents pay for the T&Ins. Mow your own lawn or plant wildflowers and get rid of the grass !  With your parents nearby perhaps they can help out with babysitting so you could work 2 days/ week - aren’t you a med tech?  You should be able to bring in some decent money with that. This way the property stays in the family which seems to be important and everybody wins.

Sell the house you are currently in - it might be a small loss - but better in the long run.

The rental house is another emotional attachment.  You need to decide if that neighborhood is going to turn-around or is going to continue to decline - tough decision, but look around and be honest. You already have way more money in it than it’s worth - it seems.  That’s a sunk cost.  You can either hang on to it for nostalgic reasons or get rid of it.  If the roof can really be done for 4k then just get it done already - even if you have to borrow it from family.

Regarding the debt - this is where I diverge from most here.  The simplest solution that would reduce the stress level is to make a real and legitimate loan from the parents assuming that they can loan enough to cover all current debt —  (that means pay interest, notarize it, make it legal and binding!)  I see this as no different than going to Lending Club or similar.  If they refuse to be paid back ask that the repayments go into a 529 fund for your kids - it would be forced savings for you.  BUT the caveat here is that you have to admit the mess you’re in to yourselves and to your families (parents), commit to turning it around and not continue to live a lifestyle that you can’t afford on 60k/year.

I hope this helps.  It may not be easy for you, but it’s a win / win don’t you think ?
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: researcher1 on February 01, 2017, 01:56:45 PM
Here’s my pitch:  So why not have your parents move into the guest house; you move into the big house.  You pay the P&I; your parents pay for the T&Ins. Mow your own lawn or plant wildflowers and get rid of the grass !  With your parents nearby perhaps they can help out with babysitting so you could work 2 days/ week - aren’t you a med tech?  You should be able to bring in some decent money with that. This way the property stays in the family which seems to be important and everybody wins.

Sell the house you are currently in - it might be a small loss - but better in the long run.

This has already been suggested MULTIPLE TIMES by MULTIPLE PEOPLE!  They are unwilling to consider this solution.

Quote
The rental house is another emotional attachment.  You need to decide if that neighborhood is going to turn-around or is going to continue to decline - tough decision, but look around and be honest. You already have way more money in it than it’s worth - it seems.  That’s a sunk cost.  You can either hang on to it for nostalgic reasons...

They can NOT keep this rental property.  They can not afford it.  They are already 2 years behind on property taxes, with another year coming up that they can't pay.  They can't afford ongoing maintenance or the homeowner's insurance premium.

Quote
Regarding the debt - The simplest solution that would reduce the stress level is to make a real and legitimate loan from the parents assuming that they can loan enough to cover all current debt —  (that means pay interest, notarize it, make it legal and binding!)  BUT the caveat here is that you have to admit the mess you’re in to yourselves and to your families (parents), commit to turning it around and not continue to live a lifestyle that you can’t afford on 60k/year.
They are already sucking the parents dry!!!  The parents have already given them well over $150,000 and counting!!! 
Yet TheBeatles continue to find ways to rack up sh*t tons of debt.  Even with all of this financial help, they just keep digging themselves deeper in the hole.

Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: honeybbq on February 01, 2017, 02:03:13 PM
Hey cool, do you know where I can find $40k laying around? I need to 'find' a check like that....
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Zoot on February 01, 2017, 02:13:17 PM
If the money was a gift from the in-laws, be sure that they are complying with the IRS rules for gift tax.  More info here:  https://turbotax.intuit.com/tax-tools/tax-tips/Tax-Planning-and-Checklists/The-Gift-Tax/INF12036.html
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 02:13:59 PM
If the money was a gift from the in-laws, be sure that they are complying with the IRS rules for gift tax.  More info here:  https://turbotax.intuit.com/tax-tools/tax-tips/Tax-Planning-and-Checklists/The-Gift-Tax/INF12036.html

It was all done through his parents attorney.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: charis on February 01, 2017, 02:16:09 PM
I'm going to PM you with a more specific question.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: theotherbeatle on February 01, 2017, 02:19:00 PM
I'm going to PM you with a more specific question.

Thank you. I would rather answer detailed question in private.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Iplawyer on February 01, 2017, 02:34:25 PM
Each person can give anybody $14K with no tax consequences.  So grandpa can give DIL $14K, grandma can give DIL $14K, Grandpa can give Son $14K an Grandma can give son $14K.  That is a total of $56K that can be transferred from Beatles' parents to the Beatles with no tax consequences.

But here is even a better solution.  Since the Beatles cannot afford to fix the roof and since they owe the Beatles parents a shit ton of money - they should just sign over the house to the parents.  The parents can fix the roof and sell it and pay off the HELOC and property taxes and have some kind of return on the investment into that house - that Beatles said the parents put $120K into.  That solves the rental house problem and - by default - resolves the issue of the parents not getting paid back.  And if the parents chose to keep the rental and fix the roof so be it - but at least the Beatles will be out from under it and can carry on taking care of their other massive bills.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: BlueHouse on February 01, 2017, 03:04:38 PM
OMG.  AGAIN?  We're back here again?  I'm just catching up with this new thread, but it is clear that thebeatles and theotherbeatle have such similar writing style and selective answering skills, that the only thing of interest to me in this new thread is seeing how all of the same people who were sucked in to the first thread are again sucked in to the second thread. 

How many times are you all willing to say the same things over and over?  It is comical! 

Also, because I can't resist joining in either... If you trust your realtor's opinion so much, then why doesn't the realtor put up the money for the roof and you can have a profit sharing split with the realtor based on some ratio of profits with the roof investment vs. without.   This can either be written into the contract or as a side contract.  If the realtor is so convinced, then have her put her money where her mouth is and put up the dough herself.  And don't forget to reduce her fee on the profit part, because then that would be double-dipping on the fees. 
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Moustachienne on February 01, 2017, 03:19:15 PM

How many times are you all willing to say the same things over and over?  It is comical! 

Also, because I can't resist joining in either...

Resistance is futile! 

It's like a giant internet psych experiment proving that MMMers are *very* committed to trying to help people make good decisions. So not a bad thing.  But we are all comical.
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: FIRE me on February 01, 2017, 06:23:04 PM
I sent a couple PM's.

Last question (I hope): Does anyone know of any insurance options where we can insure the rest of the house, absent the roof?

LOL! Stop it!
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: Tuskalusa on February 01, 2017, 06:51:03 PM
Following. :)
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: ysette9 on February 01, 2017, 07:36:02 PM
We just can't resist, can we? I for one want desperately to come back and see that the Beatles family has listed the black hole rental, has grown up and told the parents that they have to go find their own housing, and decided to sell the house they live in to pay off their debts. We are all probably hoping that which is why we keep coming back. This case study is irresistible because it is simultaneously a catastrophe and easy to fix. If only we could reach out through our screens and make them make the rright decisions!
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: bugbaby on February 01, 2017, 07:56:21 PM
Oh golly.... Anyone remember InDeepDooDoo?

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: pbkmaine on February 01, 2017, 08:05:44 PM
Oh golly.... Anyone remember InDeepDooDoo?

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

Yes!
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: researcher1 on February 01, 2017, 08:07:09 PM
I sent a couple PM's.

Last question (I hope): Does anyone know of any insurance options where we can insure the rest of the house, absent the roof?

LOL! Stop it!

It is obvious at this point that both Beatles are using these threads to gain attention and/or act as distractions for their messed up lives.

Through a few PM's exchanged with TheOtherBeatle, I offered this advice...
"Between the two threads, you've received as much advice as you possibly can regarding your financial issues.  I suggest you use whatever advice you do agree with, combine it with your own ideas, and TAKE ACTION.

I don't see any benefit from continuing to post about the same issues that have been discussed in great detail.  Come back in a month or two once you've sold the rental property, give us an update, and your plan for moving forward. "


Here response..."You're right.  Thanks."

Yet she comes right back, dragging out the thread by asking more unnecessary questions!!
Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: bugbaby on February 01, 2017, 08:20:12 PM
Oh golly.... Anyone remember InDeepDooDoo?

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

Yes!
Oh baby... someone pliiiz compile Case Study Hall of Fail. . . for when we just crave some mustachian self-flagellation . . . or an excuse to get drunk silly

Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: The Beatles case study: Follow up question
Post by: arebelspy on February 01, 2017, 10:39:24 PM
MOD EDIT: We're done here.  Locking thread.