I just feel I need to respond before this thread goes the same way as the other one. I’m going to go against the grain a bit here - so please read through before everyone starts jumping to conclusions.
First, it is unfortunate that The Beatles feel the need for the cryptic answers, but to be fair, some commenters are going right back to the previous thread and making up a lot of things. We don’t have a lot of information still: numbers, backstories, etc. Without that information there are things that we just shouldn’t be commenting on. (i.e. - tons of people in this country owe back taxes - we have no idea if they have worked out a deal are making payments or what - please don’t assume that anyone is avoiding paying or doing anything illegal - we just don’t have that information, so not ours to judge).
Secondly, to the Beatles: it really feels as though you have blinders on (still) and cannot see the solutions that are lying at your feet. You need an ‘outside of the box’ solution which some here are trying to provide as you usually can’t see it yourself while you’re in the middle of the swamp.
I also understand the emotional and family components (and pulls) that are going on here and that should not be discounted. Nobody here is living in your house - only you know what the real situation is.
Here’s my pitch: From the numbers you’ve given it appears that the ‘big’ house with the guesthouse has a mortgage of @ 200k. The house you’re in has a mortgage of @175k (can’t remember exactly) these are not that far apart in payment sizes depending on interest rate and yet you couldn’t afford to stay in the big house. I’m assuming that the taxes and insurance are much, much higher than on your current house. So why not have your parents move into the guest house; you move into the big house. You pay the P&I; your parents pay for the T&Ins. Mow your own lawn or plant wildflowers and get rid of the grass ! With your parents nearby perhaps they can help out with babysitting so you could work 2 days/ week - aren’t you a med tech? You should be able to bring in some decent money with that. This way the property stays in the family which seems to be important and everybody wins.
Sell the house you are currently in - it might be a small loss - but better in the long run.
The rental house is another emotional attachment. You need to decide if that neighborhood is going to turn-around or is going to continue to decline - tough decision, but look around and be honest. You already have way more money in it than it’s worth - it seems. That’s a sunk cost. You can either hang on to it for nostalgic reasons or get rid of it. If the roof can really be done for 4k then just get it done already - even if you have to borrow it from family.
Regarding the debt - this is where I diverge from most here. The simplest solution that would reduce the stress level is to make a real and legitimate loan from the parents assuming that they can loan enough to cover all current debt — (that means pay interest, notarize it, make it legal and binding!) I see this as no different than going to Lending Club or similar. If they refuse to be paid back ask that the repayments go into a 529 fund for your kids - it would be forced savings for you. BUT the caveat here is that you have to admit the mess you’re in to yourselves and to your families (parents), commit to turning it around and not continue to live a lifestyle that you can’t afford on 60k/year.
I hope this helps. It may not be easy for you, but it’s a win / win don’t you think ?
