@ctfinance By being here and being aware of your spending, you are already starting to make good choices. The trick is to maintain self-discipline and to continue to make those good choices.
Broadly, I would suggest that you do the following:
1) increase your pre-tax retirement contributions enough so that after your deductions (either standard or itemized), your taxable income is within the 12% tax bracket (<$81k). For example, if your income is $127k/year, increase your pre-tax contributions to $21k. *
2) if you have cashflow still available, max out Roth IRAs next.
3) if you still have cashflow available, max out Roth 401k/403b/457/etc.
4) if you still have cashflow available, invest in a taxable brokerage account
In terms of spending, nothing seems super egregious, except for that whole life insurance. The purpose of life insurance is to make sure your family will be ok if you die. That's it. If there are no kids, and your spouse can support themselves without you, there's no need for life insurance. Also, anything beyond term life insurance isn't worth it. In our family, DW is a SAHM, who wouldn't be able to go back to work, so we have a $750k policy on me which costs us about $65/mo. That, plus our other savings/investments, would be enough to support DW and the kids if something happened to me.
There's fat that could be trimmed in other areas, sure, but not IMO more than a couple hundred dollars per month total without starting to feel the pinch. A penny saved is a penny earned, but your spending isn't a raging dumpster fire.
Others are right about the housing situation. Don't be in a hurry to upsize your home. There's no rush.
* Why not max out the 403b/401k/etc right away? Because once you're in the 12% tax bracket, further pre-tax contributions avoid 12% tax today in order to
maybe pay 10% tax in retirement. You're only potentially saving 2%, and that's if 1) you stay in the 10% bracket in retirement, and 2) the politicians don't raise the tax rates. If you contribute that excess to a Roth account instead, you're still about break-even, tax-wise (you pay 12% today in order to avoid paying 10% or 12% later). However, having a substantial Roth balance not only enables you to build a Roth Conversion Pipeline, but also gives you much greater control in retirement over your taxable income.
