The bad news is there are no financial miracles. The good news is that you don't need one. Your past is done; your future is in your own hands now.
In the past, a combination of bad choices and bad luck led to hard times and bad outcomes. I can only imagine how frustrating that was. But you are back on solid ground now, with a presumably safe job at a reasonable income, and those bad debts off your back. That is huge progress over the past 8 years!
What you do from here on out determines your future. If you keep doing what you have always done, you will get what you always got. So if you want a different ending, you need to change the way you think and behave, right now.
Start with this for perspective:
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/13/the-shockingly-simple-math-behind-early-retirement/. If you are currently saving almost nothing, you are on the "never retire" path -- that is not optimal. On the other end of the spectrum, your dream of retiring in 10 years would require saving 2/3 of your income. Given five kids and child support and all, I doubt that is a reasonable expectation. But that doesn't mean you need to give up entirely! If you can save 30% or so, you can retire comfortably at normal retirement age.* Anything that you can do now will shave years off your working life.
In terms of "how": the first thing you need to do is track your spending religiously. You can't fix overspending if you don't know what you're currently blowing money on. Use Mint or You Need a Budget or any other system that is easy for you to stick with.
Once you start to see what your money is going to, evaluate what you can cut. This means evaluate
everything -- house, car(s), food, insurance, etc. Every penny that you spend today is a quarter that you need in retirement to fund your standard of living. E.g., if your wife is a SAHM, can you get by with only one car -- or none? Can you move to a smaller/cheaper home? Can you have cheap vacations near home instead of flying somewhere? Read MMM and the forums here for all sorts of ideas. And if you have time to fill out the Case Study template, there are many folks here who will provide specific suggestions.
And don't forget the income side of things. What is the potential for your EBay store? Since at least some of the kids are older, can your wife do an in-home daycare or an online business? Is she particularly interested in/good at something that she could do part-time? What about the kids -- can some of the older ones mow lawns or do odd jobs or babysitting to cover their own spending money and activities?
Finally, if your job offers a match on the 401(k), begin investing up to the match,
today. You are literally giving up free money while you are figuring everything else out.
*Note that this chart doesn't consider Social Security or pensions or such, so the necessary savings rate to be ready to retire at 65-70 is probably a lot lower.
