Case Study–Navigating Financial Challenges After Losing a Parent

[Emily888]

Life Situation: 
I recently turned 18 and experienced the loss of my mother a couple months ago, who was the primary breadwinner of our household. My father, who is in his 50s, struggles with work and earns only $1,000/month, making it difficult to cover our expenses, (I am an only child but he could get laid off any day now which would be detrimental) including rent ($1,900/month) and utilities (~$2,800/month). After my mother’s passing, I inherited $100,000 in life insurance (which is currently untouched) and $40,000 in savings which was transferred to my father.
(a week after my mothers passing our apartment building got sold and the new owner kicked all tenants out in order to remodel the entire building in which we received a relocation check for $10,000 which has been keeping us afloat in the meantime so we don't have to touch any savings until we figure out how to gain stability)

Additionally, we have two vehicles: A Hyundai with $12,000 left to pay off, resulting in a monthly payment of $445 and a fully paid-off Honda. The insurance for both cars totals $200/month.

However, I feel overwhelmed with the financial responsibilities that have fallen on me, especially since my father lacks the skills to help manage these challenges.
I really want to use the life insurance payout to secure passive income for us, such as buying property, but I'm unsure of the best approach, especially since my family property in the Caribbean isn’t yielding much income (once in a blue moon we get some tourists coming in) and requires work. Plus this is all the money we have so we have to treat it like gold. My primary concerns include figuring out how to make money quickly, whether I should start a business with limited capital, how to best invest the life insurance payout, and whether I should pursue higher education (despite having average high school grades). I know community college might be the most “affordable” choice but I gain some sort of peace of mind knowing I have the funds to at least cover a 4 year university tuition. I would like to fast forward and go straight to the “top” if I have to, instead of getting some useless degree. I also feel immense pressure from my family expectations, particularly from my mother’s side of the family, and want to make her proud by securing financial stability for my father and I.
Really in need of advice.


   •   IRS Filing Status: Single
   •   Number & Ages of Dependents: 1 (father, age 50s)
   •   State/Country of Residence: California, USA
   •   Age: 18
   •   Female
Gross Salary/Wages:
   •   None yet (recently turned 18, no full-time job secured yet)
Other Ordinary Income:
   •   Life Insurance payout (not yet claimed): Approximately $100,000 (in my name).
   •   Savings account (transferred to father’s name): Approximately $40,000.
   •   Father’s income: $1,000/month.
Rental Income, Actual Expenses, and Depreciation:
   •   Rental property in the Caribbean (worth ~$600,000, needs repairs, plus complicated real estate market). Currently rented out through Airbnb but does not generate enough consistent income to depend on.
Adjusted Gross Income:
   •   Total AGI is not clearly defined due to lack of regular income and dependence on inheritance/savings.
Taxes:
   •   Federal, state/local, and FICA taxes: Not yet applicable, as income is not yet regular.
Current expenses:
   •   Rent: $1,900/month.
   •   Monthly bills (including utilities, Wi-Fi, etc.): ~$2,800.
   •   Hyundai car payment: $445/month.
Car insurance for both vehicles: $200/month.

Expected ER expenses:
   •   N/A (ER planning is not discussed, but may be relevant for future planning).
Assets:
   •   Property in the Caribbean: ~$600,000 (though needs work and the real estate market in third world countries are difficult/would be a pain to deal with at this current moment i.e finding a trustworthy real estate agent/we don’t have the official land papers for the property yet).
   •   $100,000 life insurance payout (not yet claimed).
   •   $40,000 in savings (held by father).
Liabilities:
   •   $12,000 balance on Hyundai (monthly payment: $445).

Specific Question(s):
   1.   How should I manage and invest the life insurance payout wisely to ensure long-term stability for me and my father, especially given the uncertainty of my father’s income and my limited knowledge of financial management?
   2.   Is starting a business a viable option right now with such limited capital and resources, or should I focus on securing a stable job and continuing my education first? (if so what stable job?)
   3.   How can I best use the current funds (life insurance and savings) to secure passive income while keeping long-term financial goals in mind?
   4.   What steps should I take to build a more stable financial future and increase my earning potential, considering my current lack of a driver’s license and only having high school-level qualifications?
   5.   Given the financial pressures, what options should I explore to secure an income fast, and what financial planning strategies would you recommend for someone in my situation?
   6.   Is going back to school a wise choice right now, and should I pursue a degree in business or finance? or should I explore alternatives like nursing for job security?
   7.   If I choose to go back to school, what should I even major in? the only thing pushing me towards nursing is the fact that there is a 9 month nursing program to become a medical assistant and then I can start making money after the 9 months is finished I just need to start making something for myself as fast as I can since I cannot depend on my father and I don’t have four years to put through school and I can’t work a “regular 9-5” because $20 an hour is not going to pay our bills.

[charis]

The loss of your mother must be devasting and I am sorry for your loss.  Moving forward probably seems very daunting.  On a strictly financial basis, I think you can relax a little.  I might be missing something, but it sounds like you and your father are in a very good situation if he sells the Caribbean property, which he absolutely should if what you are saying is accurate.   At that point, he has the money from the sale of his property plus his income and 40k savings, and you have 100k for college and your expenses (significantly more than most 18 year olds), which will go further if you attend a state school or, even more via 2 plus 2 (community college and transfer to 4 year university).  I would personally start by attending a good community college that transfers to a good state school in an field that interests you and look for a part time job that works with your school schedule.  You have the insurance money but not parental financial support, so you may want to stretch out that inheritance as much as possible. 

A couple of questions.  Are you saying his utilities are 2.8k per month (!!) or is that the total of the expenses?  Can he move to a less expensive apartment either way?

[Emily888]

The loss of your mother must be devasting and I am sorry for your loss.  Moving forward probably seems very daunting.  On a strictly financial basis, I think you can relax a little.  I might be missing something, but it sounds like you and your father are in a very good situation if he sells the Caribbean property, which he absolutely should if what you are saying is accurate.   At that point, he has the money from the sale of his property plus his income and 40k savings, and you have 100k for college and your expenses (significantly more than most 18 year olds), which will go further if you attend a state school or, even more via 2 plus 2 (community college and transfer to 4 year university).  I would personally start by attending a good community college that transfers to a good state school in an field that interests you and look for a part time job that works with your school schedule.  You have the insurance money but not parental financial support, so you may want to stretch out that inheritance as much as possible. 

A couple of questions.  Are you saying his utilities are 2.8k per month (!!) or is that the total of the expenses?  Can he move to a less expensive apartment either way?

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice I really appreciate it.

To clarify, the $2,800 estimate I mentioned for utilities is actually the total of all of our combined monthly expenses. This includes rent, Wi-Fi, phone bills, car payment ($445 for the Hyundai), insurance for both cars ($200), and his credit card payments and grocery bill estimate. My dad has about $4,000 in credit card debt that we're trying to pay off to build his credit, since my mom was the one who had all the credit before.

As for moving to a less expensive apartment, I know that’s a common suggestion but our current living situation is a bit complicated. A few months ago, when we received a letter stating that our old apartment building was being remodeled, and all tenants were required to move out. We had about a month to find a new place, and we called multiple landlords, but I have no credit and my dad's was very low so our current landlord was the only one who accepted us. This is why we’re living here now, even though it’s expensive. We plan to stay for the one-year lease and use that time to find a cheaper, more affordable place that fits our budget better. People may say I should move out and live on my own, but it’s normal to live with family until I get married, plus he only makes $1,000/month, I don’t think he could realistically support himself alone.

Regarding the property in the Caribbean, selling it would definitely help us financially, but it’s been really difficult to even approach that option. For one, finding a trustworthy real estate agent there is hard they can sometimes take advantage of people unfamiliar with the process. The property is also surrounded by my father’s family members, which complicates things. Years ago, my mom had construction build a cement wall around the property to make tourists feel safer and added security cameras even though it is already a safe area she wanted to make tourists feel even safer. On top of that, we don’t have the official land papers for the property, so we would need to go through the process of obtaining them before we could even list it for sale. That adds another layer of complexity and work but I completely agree it's just a sitting duck and we need to look into that as soon as we can.

I completely agree that I should try to make the life insurance money stretch as much as possible, and attending community college is definitely an option I’m seriously considering. But in the meantime, I’m also exploring ways to create passive income so we can bring in some extra money while figuring everything out.

[johnnyqnola]

Sorry for your loss, Emily. It sounds like you're in a tough situation, but you also sound like a tough, resourceful, and practical person. Way more so than I was at 18.

I don't have a perfect solution to offer, but there are some faster paths to income security that you may not be considering. A college degree is terrific, but takes much time and investment, assuming you have the desire, in the first place, to achieve it. And a degree does not guarantee a job! I wish I had done one of the following things instead of squandering time and money on college from age 18-25.

Military - I have known many people who needed an instant solution to challenging life situations, and the military can provide free food, housing, and job training from day 1. Pay isn't great early on, but the benefits are. And they'll pay for you to go to college if you decide you want to go that route.

Trades - You can enter an apprentice program with a trade union, and they will train you in that field. No college degree required. A union can provide good benefits and possibly even a retirement pension.

Trucking - This is usually an industry with much demand, and you can get a CDL license at 18yo. Not sure if you need to be 21 to get the good jobs, but it's relatively easy to get into a training program and start making decent money quickly. Truckers with experience can easily make 6 figures.

I wouldn't hang your hopes on buying a rental property and living off the income. That is difficult to do in our current market, even for seasoned, well-capitalized investors.

I'd focus on what will give YOU a fast track to a career job with decent pay and benefits. You've got to put on your own oxygen mask *before* you can help your dad, and that may require you to go off on your own for a while. It may be a few years until you're set up to where you can help support your dad, but that's ok. It's not your responsibility to support him, despite what your family says. Why can't he go become a truck driver?

You sound like a great kid! Keep researching and don't dwell on the fabricated expectations hanging over you. Just focus on what will improve your own situation the fastest, and the rest will follow.

[MaybeBabyMustache]

Agree with the other posters, and I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. Can you give us more details about your dad? Is he disabled in some way that prevents him from earning more than $1000/month? Understanding any limitations on his side will help us have advice for you on how you should approach your future.

And, the Caribbean property sale does seem challenging. However, let's fast forward & assume there comes a time when you desperately need to sell. Better to have begun the process now, even when you think you can get by without it. I'd break down the tasks into manageable bites, and in order as needed. If you first must request paperwork, kick off that process. If you need to find a non-shady real estate broker, surely there are ways to research best ways to locate someone. I'm not at all familiar selling in that area, but I'd be willing to pay more & use a very reputable firm (even if the rates are higher) to find someone I could trust. Once you get those tasks done, I assume the realtor could handle the vast majority of work from their side, removing much of the burden from you.

Let's remove immediate income need for a second & ask... what are you interested in doing? Do you want to go to college? Do you want to live alone & have the college experience (I'm referring to the social aspect as much as the educational aspect). If money were not object, which career would you ideally want to pursue? I don't feel great about someone at 18 being completely desperate to find the quickest path to income (although realism might mean you do need some job), because making a quick pivot to something that will pay now can impact your future earnings for the rest of your life. I have an 18 year old son, so I'm so sympathetic to what you're going through right now.

Please keep posting & asking questions. We're here to help.

[LifeHappens]

You have gotten some good advice already. You do have enough money to stay afloat for quite some time, so please take a moment to breathe (and get professional help to deal with your grief if you think that would be beneficial).

As complicated as it would be, taking steps now to be in a position to sell your family's Caribbean property would make all the difference in your financial situation. It may be worthwhile to think of that as your current job.

Please keep posting & asking questions. We're here to help.

And this.

[charis]

On top of that, we don’t have the official land papers for the property, so we would need to go through the process of obtaining them before we could even list it for sale. That adds another layer of complexity and work but I completely agree it's just a sitting duck and we need to look into that as soon as we can.

Regardless of whatever else you do, I agree with the other posters that you need to start the process of getting this property listed as soon as possible.  Research and locate a reputable real estate firm to sell the property.  I don't know anything about it, but it's worth seeing if they can assist with obtaining the official land papers and handle the rest of it.  As said, pay a higher percentage for reliability and competence if you have to.  Don't jeopardize your future for your extended family.  Heck, you are only 18. Let the adults take care of themselves.

There is a real estate section of the forum in which you may want to create a post specifically related to trying to sell the property.

[lhamo]

My condolences on the loss of your mom -- I lost my dad suddenly (heart attack) when I was 15, and while losing a parent any time is hard to take it is especially hard when you are so young.

Were you still in high school for any period after your mom died?  If so and if she qualified for social security benefits you (and your dad as the surviving responsible parent) would be eligible for social security survivor benefits for the period between when she died, and when you graduated from high school.  Normally the cut-off is age 18, but they extend it if you haven't graduated high school yet.  I was able to get benefits past my 18th birthday due to this rule.

RE:  the caribbean property, are any of your father's relatives in a position to buy it from you, either individually or collectively?  They might be willing/able to help you with the paperwork in order to keep it in the family and/or get a good price. 

[Fru-Gal]

My condolences on the loss of your mother.

If you want passive income, you should earmark a large portion of that $100,000 for investment in a Vanguard taxable account or IRA holding index funds, not individual stocks. The easiest, most effective passive income you can earn is by investing in the total US stock market via the VTSAX index fund. BUT that means you hold that money while interest compounds, you don’t sell it in a downturn! Most 18 year olds do not have $100k available to do this.

The $40,000 should be in a high-yield savings account. You could also buy some US Treasury bills which have guaranteed interest, or some CDs.

I would be very wary of investing in businesses, properties, or even college unless you really have a burning desire to. Plus, you can probably qualify for low-cost college.

I also am against car payments, personally. I’d sell one car if possible and buy one that’s reliable and cheaper (for $2-8k) with no monthly payment. The insurance is very high too! I pay $300/year for auto insurance on my 2006 car.

[Emily888]

Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to respond. Your advice is truly golden, and I appreciate your insights more than I can express. I will absolutely be looking into every single suggestion you've provided. Each of you has offered a perspective that I hadn’t fully considered, and I will make sure to explore all of these avenues. Honestly, your collective wisdom has been a light during a challenging time, and I’m grateful for all of it.

I’m seriously considering investing the majority of the money I’ve inherited, especially in things like index funds, as it’s clear that this is the best way for me to grow my wealth passively over time. As some of you pointed out, investing it in properties might not be the best move right now specially since it would involve a lot of risks, loans, and would also require my dad's involvement. It could end up putting us in an even more difficult position financially.
The advice about taking a more pragmatic approach to securing a career through things like trades or EMT certification has definitely resonated with me, and I’m looking into these options as well. I understand that making short-term decisions could impact my long-term financial stability, and I don’t want to rush into something that could limit my future potential.
As for the Caribbean property, I agree with the consensus here; it's something I need to address sooner rather than later. I will prioritize finding a trustworthy real estate firm to help with the process, even if it means paying a higher percentage. I’ll take the necessary steps to ensure that we can get it sold in a manner that’s as smooth and stress-free as possible.
Again, I’m so grateful for all the support. I’ll continue researching and moving forward step by step, and I’ll keep in mind that taking care of myself first will ultimately help me be in a better position to help my dad in the future. Thanks again for all your guidance.

[charis]

Plus, you can probably qualify for low-cost college.

Can an 18 year old with 100k qualify for low-cost college? I would be surprised but I don't know.

[Fru-Gal]

What affects FAFSA when it comes to assets held by either the student or their parents:

Equity in investment real estate (but not your primary residence)
Cash in savings/other bank accounts
UGMA/UTMA accounts
Certain types of businesses, such as those with 100 or more employees, or part-ownership of businesses that are not majority owned and controlled by the family
Stocks and bonds
Mutual fund assets
The value of 529 plans and Coverdell ESAs
Commodities
Cash gifts to students, which are counted as student income
Assets that are not counted by FAFSA when determining your SAI include:

401(k) and Roth and traditional IRA accounts (though withdrawals from Roth IRA accounts will be counted as untaxed income)
Cash values of whole life insurance policies and qualified annuities
SIMPLE, KEOGH, and pension plans
Annuities

[Freedomin5]

Plus, you can probably qualify for low-cost college.

Can an 18 year old with 100k qualify for low-cost college? I would be surprised but I don't know.

An 18-year-old whose mother has passed away and who is caring for a disabled father can definitely qualify for some really good scholarships, even with mediocre grades. OP may have to do some digging, but I would be surprised if they couldn't get at least several thousand dollars worth of scholarships, if they decide to pursue the higher education route.

[Emily888]

I know it’s not ideal to be focused on “survival” and stability at such a young age, but my mom’s passing forced me into this position. I don’t want to make rash decisions, but I also don’t have the luxury to wait. I don’t mean to sound morbid or pessimistic, but I hope you guys can understand the reasoning behind the urgency I feel to build something for myself. I know I’m young, but time flies, and I’d rather do everything I can to get things sorted sooner rather than later.

Update:Actually, I just looked into it and apparently if my dad is disabled at all, including any learning disability and since he has a really hard time reading and writing, I would qualify for multiple different scholarships!! That's actually amazing because he’s literally unable to get a practical job because reading and writing are obviously basic skills that everyone needs in order to survive, so that's something. Which means that I can go to school without worrying about debt.


I also just wanted to clarify a few things so you guys can understand my situation as thoroughly as possible.

To clarify one of the replies about Social Security checks: I had already been receiving benefits since we were low-income and my mom was the only one working. However, because I graduated high school at 17 and my mom passed away shortly before I turned 18, I only qualified for two months of benefits totaling $2,000. Now that I’m 18 and out of high school, those benefits have stopped.
As for my father, he technically qualifies for the $10,000 death benefit, but when I went to the SS office, they told me he would need to either be 60 years old or have a qualifying disability to receive it. He’s only 53, so the age requirement isn’t met, but I guess we’d have to look into whether he could qualify for a disability benefit. Maybe something like a learning evaluation could determine if his difficulties with reading and writing would meet their criteria?


My aunt did take me to this nursing school to ask about FAFSA it’s 18k and turns out I do qualify for financial aid for about 8k and they’re asking my father to take out a loan for 10 grand (parent plus loan) but apparently if he doesn’t qualify because of low credit, then they’ll grant me more, and if he does qualify, I can pay back the loan though monthly payments while in school, though I haven’t taken out any of the insurance money yet so regarding qualifying for financial aid I’m not sure what would happen when I do.

I wouldn’t consider my father to be ”disabled” per say like not physically or anything but leaning more towards learning wise he just struggles a lot with basic reading and writing, which has always limited his job prospects and opportunities. Right now, he works as a groundsman, and while this is the most stable work he’s had in a long time, it’s nowhere near enough to provide any real sense of security. He speaks fluent English but has always faced difficulties learning. (My mom met him while vacationing in the Caribbean. He was born there hence his educational difficulties). I mean he's a healthy grown man, he's 53 and he came to the states at 29 and I don’t mean to be harsh. He’s doing the best he can but I just wish I wasn’t in this position. I wish it were that simple just to say “my father needs to be a man and get a better job himself and I shouldn’t have to baby him” but my mom already worked hard to help him, but the jobs he’s been able to get were seasonal or short-term, often through word-of-mouth referrals. The pressure I feel to make money comes from an overwhelming sense of responsibility that has intensified since my mom passed away. She was the backbone of our family, the one who handled finances, made decisions, and ensured stability. Without her, I feel like the foundation of my life has crumbled, and I’ve been left to pick up the pieces while trying to navigate the reality of our precarious situation. My father, as much as I love him, is not someone I can depend on financially or practically. His limitations mean that I’ve had to step into a role I wasn’t prepared for essentially becoming the one responsible for planning and securing our future. I know I can’t depend on my father, and I do believe my dad should be capable of handling himself more.

Adding to this, my dad is emotionally attached to it because he hopes to retire there at 60 but it hasn’t been maintained, and he’s reluctant to consider selling it. I’ve tried to explain the importance of at least exploring its value but he sees it as an insurmountable obstacle, he thinks that it’s not possible since we don’t own the land, it’s gonna be hard selling it especially when his family is surrounding the property but I honestly think those are just roadblocks that we can overcome easily. My father is also fixated on the idea of moving back to the Caribbean; he sees it as a “fallback” option, believing that U.S. dollars would go further there and make life more comfortable.

Also to clarify, my father's family members aren’t in the best situation financially, they are barely surviving, it’s a third world country. It’s very hard there, hence why I do not want to go back. I don’t even see it as a “backup” option. I was born in the U.S., and the idea of leaving everything I’ve ever known education, career possibilities, and a chance at a stable life is devastating. Moving back would mean giving up on the dreams my mom worked so hard to make possible for me. This “backup plan” that my dad clings to feels like a dead end for me, and it only adds to the pressure I feel to create something sustainable here in America. I’m constantly haunted by the fear of running out of money and hitting rock bottom. The life insurance money my mom left behind gives us some breathing room, but I know it won’t last forever, and the idea of just letting it sit there while inflation eats away at its value feels like a waste.

I feel immense pressure to turn that money into something that can generate income or provide long-term security, but I’m terrified of making a mistake, which would lead to my dad taking on a huge loan for a down payment, which worries me because I don’t want to create financial stress for him or take on a risky investment without the proper knowledge. I don’t have the experience or guidance to make big financial decisions, and yet on the other hand I feel like I don’t have the luxury of waiting or “playing it safe”

What makes this even harder is that I don’t have a clear roadmap. I feel lost because I have no strong support or guidance, my mom’s side of the family is extremely well-off, but their only advice is “go to nursing school,” which isn’t helpful I mean I understand their reasoning, but at the same time, sitting at a desk for years while our financial situation remains unstable feels irresponsible.

As for my passions, if money weren’t an issue, I’d love to pursue acting but I know it’s an uncertain career path and not realistic right now. My immediate focus is avoiding rock bottom at all costs. My “obsession” with building passive income or a business comes from survival mode
I feel like I’ve aged overnight and don’t have the luxury to focus on “passions” right now. I’ve had to take on responsibilities like managing my dad’s resume, and trying to make sense of our financial situation. I’m overwhelmed by the need to make money, secure a future, and create a stable life for myself. I feel trapped between the need to take action immediately and the fear of making the wrong move.

At the same time, I feel conflicted because I know I need to build a life of my own. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in “survival mode” or tied to the role of being the "breadwinner" for my dad. I want to honor my mom’s legacy and make her proud, but I also want to create something sustainable for myself. Right now, though, the pressure to ensure we don’t sink financially overshadows everything else.

Moving forward I am leading towards something in sales, finance, or marketing where I could grow and earn through commissions. I don’t want to make rash decisions, but I also feel like time is against me.
I understand the $100,000 isn’t much in the grand scheme, and it should be saved for emergencies, but I wish I could use it to make more money instead of letting inflation eat away at it.

Even though I’m only 18,  I’ve been sheltered away from the “hardships” of life. Hence why I also believe that the military would not be the best option for me. My family did suggest that initially before they knew about the life insurance, and then they changed their mind and said that I have this money, it could be used as something to keep us afloat until I get a decent job after school.



Please feel free to suggest anything that comes to mind, no matter how big or small. I truly appreciate direct, honest advice in this regard, and I’ll take any guidance I can get. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this and offer their thoughts. I value your support more than I can express!

[Freedomin5]

My grandmother passed away when my mom was 13. She was the oldest girl in a family of six. My grandfather barely made enough to feed the family. They lived in government housing in poverty.

My mom would say the one best decision she made that lifted her out of poverty and gave her financial stability in life was a good education and getting a degree in something marketable. She became an accountant. She met my dad at university -- my dad also grew up in poverty but got an MBA and became the managing director of a multi-national company before leaving to start his own business in his 40s.

If you're going to pursue higher education, go for a degree in a high-demand field where it will be easier to get a job post-graduation. Avoid taking out student loans. There's no point using loans (on which you have to eventually pay interest) when there are lots of non-profit organizations out there willing to give you money for free in the form of scholarships and grants.

Get as many scholarships as you can -- given your situation, you can qualify for many of the need-based scholarships. Since your dad struggles with reading and writing, I wonder if you can make the argument that he is illiterate? Not trying to make him look bad, but when applying to scholarships, you want to use whatever you can for your advantage. (Take it from someone who got over $15K in scholarships as an undergrad, and fully funded my graduate - masters and doctoral - studies on scholarships and research assistantships.) There are many scholarships every year that go unclaimed simply because they didn't get any applicants.

Once you get into a program, look for research assistantships or teaching assistantships. In case you want to pursue post-graduate studies, these opportunities will put you on the radar of professors and researchers who can write recommendation letters for you or who have connections to get you into a post-graduate program. Plus, they're paid positions.

Another option is to consider a co-op program where you can study and work. Several of my friends, and my husband, did a co-op program. The money they made from their co-op placements were enough to cover their tuition, and most of my friends received full-time offers during their final year of studies from their final co-op placement. They basically had a full-time offer before they even graduated.

Finance or accounting or business administration may be good options (I wouldn't do marketing - hard to find work in marketing). You can always start out at a firm and gain experience, and then you have the option to branch out on your own if you want, in the future. For those options, go to the best school and best program that you can get into. The reason I say this is because the top firms/companies recruit from certain schools and certain programs, so if you're a graduate from a good program, your school may have connections to make it easier for you to find a job. My degree is in business administration (one of the top programs in Canada, where I'm from), and most of my classmates went into investment banking, consulting, and accounting at one of the Big 4 accounting firms. Then once you have a foot in the door, get your professional designations and then continue climbing the corporate ladder.

Upthread, some have mentioned trades as a good way to make money quickly. HOWEVER, trades often depends on you being physically healthy. If anything were to happen to you physically or you were to get hurt, you'd have a hard time earning a living. White collar jobs like finance or accounting, you can continue to work as long as your brain is functioning okay, even if your body is broken. Case in point - I have cancer (in remission, yay!), but because my job involves sitting and thinking most days, it's manageable even with cancer. It was manageable even when I was in treatment. As another example, my mom's an accountant. She's in her 70s, and she's still generating income because again, she just sits and thinks and talks all day; she doesn't actually have to do anything more physically challenging than lifting a file folder or picking up a phone.

With your $100K, put it in a high-yield savings account for now, until you figure out what you want to do with it or whether you need it in the immediate future. No need for inflation to eat away at it.

Oh, and don't go back to the Caribbean (unless you're like, financially independent, and planning to retire or something like that). Many people try to leave the Caribbean for a better life in the US. You have US citizenship and are already in the US -- going back would be going backwards.

[jeroly]

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Some thoughts about your financial issues:

1.  You have to separate your financial planning from your father’s.  There are many reasons to do this, not the least of which are the very different timeframes your planning will involve:  he is in a phase where he needs to be preparing for retirement and funding the stretch before he is eligible to get social security survivor’s benefits; you need to be financing your education, ramping up your earning potential and starting to save for retirement and big-ticket items like a down payment on a house or the entire cost of a vehicle, setting up an emergency fund, etc.

1a. It’s not like his financial situation is that dire even with his minimal earnings assuming that $600k house is really worth that and is sellable.  That can provide him with an additional $2k/mo using a 4% WR which sounds like it will cover his monthly expenses when you throw in his $1k/mo of earnings.

1b.  The bequest is your money not your dad’s. It is not on you to fund your dad’s life - your mom may have made a decision to do so but that was her choice not yours. If he needs help you should be clear that you expect reimbursement when he get the proceeds of the sale of the house, which is something he has to do ASAP - I don’t see how he has a choice moving forward with virtually no income and no other assets.

2.   You have been gifted a head start on your savings needs through the bequest.  Put most of it (85k) in low cost index funds like VTI.  Put the rest (15k) into money market mutual funds or treasury bills to handle your short term financing needs.

3.  I saw you wrote about getting critiqued for having too high a rent.  The big picture is that your total expenses for the two of you are really very well controlled at $2,800! Once you are able to move to a cheaper place you’ll really be on top of things.

4.  As far as career planning goes, if I were in your shoes I’d do some assessing of what I’m good at, what I like to do, what level of income I need to meet my financial goals, and which of the career paths that mesh with what I’m good at and what I like to do can provide that level of income. At age 18 I’d look at college majors that keep options open - for example, if you’re good at languages, studying Chinese would open more doors than Creole, etc.

5.  Regardless of your father’s limitations regarding reading and writing, he can earn more than $1,000 a month.  He may need to be more entepreneurial - instead of working as a landscaper, perhaps he can start his own landscaping business! He may need to work more hours (obviously not a preferred path). He may need to move to a different state where he can earn a higher wage - you get $20/hr working at McDonald’s in California.

[lhamo]

Are you planning to stay in your current location for the next few years?  If so, would you be willing to disclose what city or at least general part of the country you are in?  Oops, sorry, just saw that you are in CA.  I'd be happy to Let me try to dig around a bit to see if I can find some local resources you could try to tap into for both you and your father. 

Re:  the nursing angle, before you sink money into a degree/career you may or may not like, you could do what many, many immigrants do (my mom's assisted living facility was staffed almost totally by immigrants) and get a CNA credential -- in many places you can start working as a CNA in a nursing home or assisted living facility even before you are credentialed.  Apparently that is a federal rule that allows you to work for 120 days while prepping for the license:  https://doh.wa.gov/licenses-permits-and-certificates/professions-new-renew-or-update/nursing-assistant. 

The pay isn't great on the bottom rungs (salary ranges for my state here: https://www.ziprecruiter.com/Salaries/Cna-Salary--in-Washington), but you will get insight into one important side of the health care sector and see whether it appears to be a good fit.  You could also consider other specialized health care jobs that do not require a degree to get a foot in the door. A friend of mine retrained as a radiology tech in her 40s, and seems to love the job. 

Once you have a bit of healthcare experience, if you do want to get degree in nursing you will probably be eligible for more scholarships.  Hopefully you can manage to do school while working, and not have to take out loans.  Look at community colleges and public universities for the most affordable programs, though some private schools may have better financial aid.  If you need help looking at programs and scholarships, let me know -- I used to design and manage scholarship programs as my career and while I am more familiar with international programs I can at least have a look at any schools/scholarships you are interested in and see if there are any red flags.  The school you went to with your aunt raises red flags for me -- they should not be pushing someone in your position into taking out loans first thing.  They should be helping you navigate the financial aid process, including the FAFSA, and then seeing what loans you might need to meet the gap. 

Do keep in mind that you can and should be exploring other options as well -- nursing can be a good, stable career with decent income potential but if it isn't a good fit for your personality or skill set you won't thrive in it.  Maybe you would do better as an electrician or a plumber or a tile setter. 

Also, since you love acting you might want to look at jobs that have some scheduling flexibility so that you can pursue that on the side.  It is grueling work to break in, but lots of people do it. 

Updates:

Have you seen this careers guidance page from the community colleges in California?

https://icangotocollege.com/careers#careers

Here is a page about the higher-paying health care career options (average salary after 4 years $105k):

https://icangotocollege.com/career-subcategories/82-diagnosis-and-treatment

Here is their overview of financial aid for community college students, plus the link to the major grant programs for low-income students:

https://icangotocollege.com/financial-aid
https://icangotocollege.com/financial-aid/cal-grant-high-school-entitlement-award

[Laura33]

First, I'm sorry you're dealing with this.  That's a tremendous load on your shoulders.  It's hard enough to lose a parent; I can't imagine shouldering the role as "responsible for entire family" on top of that.

The way you manage the pressure is to take little steps every day.  You don't need to know right now what you want to do in 20 years.  You need to triage a little bit and focus on options that will meet your current needs while still leaving you time and energy to build toward your long-term goals.

It seems like your biggest stressor is knowing you need an income to support yourself and your father.  The good news is that he now has cash in the bank to cover the bills for almost a year.  That gives you breathing room.  You also have the inheritance that you can access for living expenses for another couple of years.  So your first step is just reminding yourself that you have some time to figure things out.

If you don't want to dip into that $100K, that means finding a way to bring in income within a year.  That gives you a couple of options.  You can go to work immediately at whatever job you can find -- depending on where you are in CA, you might be able to make $15-20/hr just at the local fast-food restaurant or Starbucks.  You can look for a job as a waitress or bartender, where the tips can be significant.  If you are a natural hustling type, you can find a pure sales job, like car sales, where you are largely commission-based.  That latter option is riskier, but it also has more upside potential.  No, you will not really enjoy the job.  Nor will you make the kind of money you want.  But that's ok; this is just a short-term way to stanch the bleeding.  And every dollar you bring in now is a dollar you don't have to take from your $40K.

The second major alternative is to look at some sort of training program that will give you credentials within a year.  I see you are focused on nursing right now; that's great, it can be a good career.  But many people jump into something because it's what they know, not necessarily what they're good at or what they will enjoy.  And while there are many places with a shortage of nurses, there are other places with an oversupply.  Before you dive into any particular path, do the research on what the employment prospects are in that career and what kind of salary you can make.  Oh, and there's absolutely no reason to pay $18K/yr for a nursing degree, or any other kind of short-term certificate -- many community colleges offer those kinds of programs for significantly less money (my DH's friend's wife runs just such a program at one of our local community colleges).  Because cost is such a concern, I would very much encourage you to start with a hard look at the offerings at your local community college to see if there is something that sounds interesting to you.

I'm not going to encourage you to jump into a 4-year college program right now.  You mentioned middling grades, so it sounds like you weren't particularly interested in academics in high school -- so why pin all of your plans on a path that requires four more years of that?  Moreover, you don't have a strong sense of what you want to do with that degree.  That's fine -- many, many people don't at 18.  But you unfortunately have less slack than many other kids; you can't afford to get partway through and then realize it's not what you want and change course. 

The good news is that you do have time to figure this all out.  So take that time.  I'd suggest the following:

1.  Your immediate job is to start bringing in some income to lift some of the financial pressure off of your shoulders.  Take any job you can find right now with reasonable pay.  Remind yourself:  This is not your forever job.  This is something to cover costs while you're figuring everything else out -- and even if it isn't enough to cover all your costs, it is buying you time by stretching out that $40K. 

[Also note:  I am not setting this as your top priority because you actually need that money right this second.  You have multiple years' of expenses in cash, so you can "afford" not to work for quite a while.  I am suggesting this because you are feeling major stress about paying the bills and not blowing through the $100K just in living expenses.  The way to reduce your stress about paying the bills is to start bringing in money to pay the bills.]

2.  At this point, you likely cannot start any kind of college until next fall anyway.  That means you have maybe 8 months to figure out what you want to do before you can start.  So spend that time looking to cut costs and develop other sources of income.  I heartily agree with everyone that you should be working on your dad to sell the house in the Caribbean.  With him making $1K/mo., you simply cannot afford to have $600K locked up in an asset that isn't generating any income.  Also look into any state income assistance/housing/etc. programs that may be there to support low-income families.  You likely didn't qualify for those while your mom was alive, so you very likely don't even know what is out there.  It is worth investigating. 

And then also look at cutting costs.  You guys can't afford $400/mo. for a car payment!  Why do you have two cars when you don't even have a driver's license???  I know CA isn't particularly known for its public transportation system, and having your own vehicle can open up a wider variety of jobs/schools -- but you need a license before you can take advantage of that.  So first go get your license to give yourself the best options for an immediate job.  But then find out what that newer vehicle is worth and how much you could get if you sold it and paid off the loan.  Then spend a few thousand to buy another older, reliable vehicle like your other one.  Anything you can do to stop the bleeding will lift some of the load off your shoulders.

3.  Also spend these next months really researching your long-term career options.  Enroll in your community college for next fall.  This might be taking some basic courses toward a 4-year degree, or it might be enrolling into a specific program like nursing to prepare for a career right away.  If you find a career that you want long-term that you can get trained for in a year or two, great!  Go do that.  But if you still are not sure, go ahead and take some of the core classes -- that way, you are still making progress toward a 2- or 4-year degree during the time you're figuring out what you want that degree to be in.  Many kids use college to learn about different areas they didn't get to learn in high school and find out what they want to study that way.  You can do the same thing at the CC.  You can also do that part-time while continuing to work whatever job you can find to cover at least part of the bills.

FWIW, at this point, the best investment you can make is the investment in yourself.  Using that inheritance to get qualified for a career you will enjoy and that will generate a decent salary will have a much greater long-term impact on your financial stability than anything else you can do with it.  Look at your college/career choices from that standpoint: you are looking to invest that $100K into something that is going to generate maybe $100K every year for the rest of your life.  That is much better than any rental property or mutual fund you can buy with it.

But you also need to have patience.  As much as you want to leap into that highly-paid career, whichever path you pursue, you're going to be starting at the bottom.  Many careers now require internships to get your foot in the door -- and many of those can be unpaid.  Almost every job starts with much lower pay; even apprenticeships in the trades start out making a fraction of what you can make once you get the full qualifications after working several years.  That is why I have separated out short-term from long-term:  your short-term goal is to make enough to get by and to stretch out that $140K you currently have.  That cushion will then allow you to afford a longer-term path that doesn't pay top-dollar right out of the gate.

Best of luck.  My son is 19, and I just really want to give you a hug right now. 

[MaybeBabyMustache]

I'm going to push back (gently) on your dad. As far as I can tell:
1) He has limited cognitive/language abilities & chooses to work at a job where he can make $1k/month. Perhaps that was fine when your mom was willing to pick up the slack.
2) Unfortunately, your mother has passed. Has he now recognized that, in order to cover his own expenses, he will need to step up & work more? @jeroly had good points about working  more options, even if it's a non-high paying field. Is HE expecting you to step in & cover for your mom, or is that something you are assuming? I think you need a transparent conversation where you lay out that you can, perhaps help temporarily, but you need to focus on setting up your own life and future needs.
3) Not selling the house seems like he has his head very far in the sand. He doesn't make enough money, the primary earner of his family has passed, he hasn't (it appears) started putting together a plan to cover his own expenses, and he's unwilling to consider selling the house.

It's almost like the roles are reversed & you are the parent to his child. With your additional information in your post, I think this is a much larger challenge than a financial one. I think this is a significant family/relationship challenge where you will need to set very clear expectations & your dad needs to step up & understand the reality of his situation. Putting his burdens on an 18 year old is incredibly unfair.

[Emily888]

My grandmother passed away when my mom was 13. She was the oldest girl in a family of six. My grandfather barely made enough to feed the family. They lived in government housing in poverty.

My mom would say the one best decision she made that lifted her out of poverty and gave her financial stability in life was a good education and getting a degree in something marketable. She became an accountant. She met my dad at university -- my dad also grew up in poverty but got an MBA and became the managing director of a multi-national company before leaving to start his own business in his 40s.

If you're going to pursue higher education, go for a degree in a high-demand field where it will be easier to get a job post-graduation. Avoid taking out student loans. There's no point using loans (on which you have to eventually pay interest) when there are lots of non-profit organizations out there willing to give you money for free in the form of scholarships and grants.

Get as many scholarships as you can -- given your situation, you can qualify for many of the need-based scholarships. Since your dad struggles with reading and writing, I wonder if you can make the argument that he is illiterate? Not trying to make him look bad, but when applying to scholarships, you want to use whatever you can for your advantage. (Take it from someone who got over $15K in scholarships as an undergrad, and fully funded my graduate - masters and doctoral - studies on scholarships and research assistantships.) There are many scholarships every year that go unclaimed simply because they didn't get any applicants.

Once you get into a program, look for research assistantships or teaching assistantships. In case you want to pursue post-graduate studies, these opportunities will put you on the radar of professors and researchers who can write recommendation letters for you or who have connections to get you into a post-graduate program. Plus, they're paid positions.

Another option is to consider a co-op program where you can study and work. Several of my friends, and my husband, did a co-op program. The money they made from their co-op placements were enough to cover their tuition, and most of my friends received full-time offers during their final year of studies from their final co-op placement. They basically had a full-time offer before they even graduated.

Finance or accounting or business administration may be good options (I wouldn't do marketing - hard to find work in marketing). You can always start out at a firm and gain experience, and then you have the option to branch out on your own if you want, in the future. For those options, go to the best school and best program that you can get into. The reason I say this is because the top firms/companies recruit from certain schools and certain programs, so if you're a graduate from a good program, your school may have connections to make it easier for you to find a job. My degree is in business administration (one of the top programs in Canada, where I'm from), and most of my classmates went into investment banking, consulting, and accounting at one of the Big 4 accounting firms. Then once you have a foot in the door, get your professional designations and then continue climbing the corporate ladder.

Upthread, some have mentioned trades as a good way to make money quickly. HOWEVER, trades often depends on you being physically healthy. If anything were to happen to you physically or you were to get hurt, you'd have a hard time earning a living. White collar jobs like finance or accounting, you can continue to work as long as your brain is functioning okay, even if your body is broken. Case in point - I have cancer (in remission, yay!), but because my job involves sitting and thinking most days, it's manageable even with cancer. It was manageable even when I was in treatment. As another example, my mom's an accountant. She's in her 70s, and she's still generating income because again, she just sits and thinks and talks all day; she doesn't actually have to do anything more physically challenging than lifting a file folder or picking up a phone.

With your $100K, put it in a high-yield savings account for now, until you figure out what you want to do with it or whether you need it in the immediate future. No need for inflation to eat away at it.

Oh, and don't go back to the Caribbean (unless you're like, financially independent, and planning to retire or something like that). Many people try to leave the Caribbean for a better life in the US. You have US citizenship and are already in the US -- going back would be going backwards.

Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story and advice—it’s incredibly inspiring. Your mom is truly remarkable for lifting herself out of poverty, and congratulations on being in remission! That’s such wonderful news and a testament to your strength. That being said, I would also agree with your perspective on trades. While they’re great options for some people, I don’t think they’re the right fit for me. I’m definitely leaning toward pursuing something in a white-collar field, and your advice about scholarships, co-op programs, and high-demand degrees is golden. I can see how they offer both stability and opportunities to grow over time. I really appreciate the advice about scholarships and co-op programs too. It’s encouraging to know there are ways to get through school without drowning in debt while also building experience early on. You've given me so much to think about and plan for. Thank you again for your thoughtful advice and encouragement!

[Emily888]

Are you planning to stay in your current location for the next few years?  If so, would you be willing to disclose what city or at least general part of the country you are in?  Oops, sorry, just saw that you are in CA.  I'd be happy to Let me try to dig around a bit to see if I can find some local resources you could try to tap into for both you and your father. 

Re:  the nursing angle, before you sink money into a degree/career you may or may not like, you could do what many, many immigrants do (my mom's assisted living facility was staffed almost totally by immigrants) and get a CNA credential -- in many places you can start working as a CNA in a nursing home or assisted living facility even before you are credentialed.  Apparently that is a federal rule that allows you to work for 120 days while prepping for the license:  https://doh.wa.gov/licenses-permits-and-certificates/professions-new-renew-or-update/nursing-assistant. 

The pay isn't great on the bottom rungs (salary ranges for my state here: https://www.ziprecruiter.com/Salaries/Cna-Salary--in-Washington), but you will get insight into one important side of the health care sector and see whether it appears to be a good fit.  You could also consider other specialized health care jobs that do not require a degree to get a foot in the door. A friend of mine retrained as a radiology tech in her 40s, and seems to love the job. 

Once you have a bit of healthcare experience, if you do want to get degree in nursing you will probably be eligible for more scholarships.  Hopefully you can manage to do school while working, and not have to take out loans.  Look at community colleges and public universities for the most affordable programs, though some private schools may have better financial aid.  If you need help looking at programs and scholarships, let me know -- I used to design and manage scholarship programs as my career and while I am more familiar with international programs I can at least have a look at any schools/scholarships you are interested in and see if there are any red flags.  The school you went to with your aunt raises red flags for me -- they should not be pushing someone in your position into taking out loans first thing.  They should be helping you navigate the financial aid process, including the FAFSA, and then seeing what loans you might need to meet the gap. 

Do keep in mind that you can and should be exploring other options as well -- nursing can be a good, stable career with decent income potential but if it isn't a good fit for your personality or skill set you won't thrive in it.  Maybe you would do better as an electrician or a plumber or a tile setter. 

Also, since you love acting you might want to look at jobs that have some scheduling flexibility so that you can pursue that on the side.  It is grueling work to break in, but lots of people do it. 

Updates:

Have you seen this careers guidance page from the community colleges in California?

https://icangotocollege.com/careers#careers

Here is a page about the higher-paying health care career options (average salary after 4 years $105k):

https://icangotocollege.com/career-subcategories/82-diagnosis-and-treatment

Here is their overview of financial aid for community college students, plus the link to the major grant programs for low-income students:

https://icangotocollege.com/financial-aid
https://icangotocollege.com/financial-aid/cal-grant-high-school-entitlement-award

Thank you so much for this detailed and incredibly helpful response—I can’t tell you how much it means to me that people are taking the time to listen to my story and offer such valuable advice.
You’ve given me a lot to think about, especially when it comes to exploring healthcare options and starting small, like with a CNA credential. I hadn’t thought about using that as a way to gain experience and test whether nursing is really the right path for me before committing to a full degree. I’ll definitely look into the federal rule about working while preparing for the license, and I appreciate the insight into other specialized healthcare jobs like radiology tech.
The links you included for California community colleges are also really helpful—especially the resources about higher-paying healthcare careers and financial aid programs.
I’ve been hesitant about community college, but it’s encouraging to see the potential for stable, well-paying careers coming from those programs. I’ll definitely be exploring those links in depth.
I also really appreciate the reminder to stay open to other paths that might suit my skills and personality betterIt’s reassuring to hear that there are so many options out there, and I don’t have to lock myself into one path right away.

[Emily888]

First, I'm sorry you're dealing with this.  That's a tremendous load on your shoulders.  It's hard enough to lose a parent; I can't imagine shouldering the role as "responsible for entire family" on top of that.

The way you manage the pressure is to take little steps every day.  You don't need to know right now what you want to do in 20 years.  You need to triage a little bit and focus on options that will meet your current needs while still leaving you time and energy to build toward your long-term goals.

It seems like your biggest stressor is knowing you need an income to support yourself and your father.  The good news is that he now has cash in the bank to cover the bills for almost a year.  That gives you breathing room.  You also have the inheritance that you can access for living expenses for another couple of years.  So your first step is just reminding yourself that you have some time to figure things out.

If you don't want to dip into that $100K, that means finding a way to bring in income within a year.  That gives you a couple of options.  You can go to work immediately at whatever job you can find -- depending on where you are in CA, you might be able to make $15-20/hr just at the local fast-food restaurant or Starbucks.  You can look for a job as a waitress or bartender, where the tips can be significant.  If you are a natural hustling type, you can find a pure sales job, like car sales, where you are largely commission-based.  That latter option is riskier, but it also has more upside potential.  No, you will not really enjoy the job.  Nor will you make the kind of money you want.  But that's ok; this is just a short-term way to stanch the bleeding.  And every dollar you bring in now is a dollar you don't have to take from your $40K.

The second major alternative is to look at some sort of training program that will give you credentials within a year.  I see you are focused on nursing right now; that's great, it can be a good career.  But many people jump into something because it's what they know, not necessarily what they're good at or what they will enjoy.  And while there are many places with a shortage of nurses, there are other places with an oversupply.  Before you dive into any particular path, do the research on what the employment prospects are in that career and what kind of salary you can make.  Oh, and there's absolutely no reason to pay $18K/yr for a nursing degree, or any other kind of short-term certificate -- many community colleges offer those kinds of programs for significantly less money (my DH's friend's wife runs just such a program at one of our local community colleges).  Because cost is such a concern, I would very much encourage you to start with a hard look at the offerings at your local community college to see if there is something that sounds interesting to you.

I'm not going to encourage you to jump into a 4-year college program right now.  You mentioned middling grades, so it sounds like you weren't particularly interested in academics in high school -- so why pin all of your plans on a path that requires four more years of that?  Moreover, you don't have a strong sense of what you want to do with that degree.  That's fine -- many, many people don't at 18.  But you unfortunately have less slack than many other kids; you can't afford to get partway through and then realize it's not what you want and change course. 

The good news is that you do have time to figure this all out.  So take that time.  I'd suggest the following:

1.  Your immediate job is to start bringing in some income to lift some of the financial pressure off of your shoulders.  Take any job you can find right now with reasonable pay.  Remind yourself:  This is not your forever job.  This is something to cover costs while you're figuring everything else out -- and even if it isn't enough to cover all your costs, it is buying you time by stretching out that $40K. 

[Also note:  I am not setting this as your top priority because you actually need that money right this second.  You have multiple years' of expenses in cash, so you can "afford" not to work for quite a while.  I am suggesting this because you are feeling major stress about paying the bills and not blowing through the $100K just in living expenses.  The way to reduce your stress about paying the bills is to start bringing in money to pay the bills.]

2.  At this point, you likely cannot start any kind of college until next fall anyway.  That means you have maybe 8 months to figure out what you want to do before you can start.  So spend that time looking to cut costs and develop other sources of income.  I heartily agree with everyone that you should be working on your dad to sell the house in the Caribbean.  With him making $1K/mo., you simply cannot afford to have $600K locked up in an asset that isn't generating any income.  Also look into any state income assistance/housing/etc. programs that may be there to support low-income families.  You likely didn't qualify for those while your mom was alive, so you very likely don't even know what is out there.  It is worth investigating. 

And then also look at cutting costs.  You guys can't afford $400/mo. for a car payment!  Why do you have two cars when you don't even have a driver's license???  I know CA isn't particularly known for its public transportation system, and having your own vehicle can open up a wider variety of jobs/schools -- but you need a license before you can take advantage of that.  So first go get your license to give yourself the best options for an immediate job.  But then find out what that newer vehicle is worth and how much you could get if you sold it and paid off the loan.  Then spend a few thousand to buy another older, reliable vehicle like your other one.  Anything you can do to stop the bleeding will lift some of the load off your shoulders.

3.  Also spend these next months really researching your long-term career options.  Enroll in your community college for next fall.  This might be taking some basic courses toward a 4-year degree, or it might be enrolling into a specific program like nursing to prepare for a career right away.  If you find a career that you want long-term that you can get trained for in a year or two, great!  Go do that.  But if you still are not sure, go ahead and take some of the core classes -- that way, you are still making progress toward a 2- or 4-year degree during the time you're figuring out what you want that degree to be in.  Many kids use college to learn about different areas they didn't get to learn in high school and find out what they want to study that way.  You can do the same thing at the CC.  You can also do that part-time while continuing to work whatever job you can find to cover at least part of the bills.

FWIW, at this point, the best investment you can make is the investment in yourself.  Using that inheritance to get qualified for a career you will enjoy and that will generate a decent salary will have a much greater long-term impact on your financial stability than anything else you can do with it.  Look at your college/career choices from that standpoint: you are looking to invest that $100K into something that is going to generate maybe $100K every year for the rest of your life.  That is much better than any rental property or mutual fund you can buy with it.

But you also need to have patience.  As much as you want to leap into that highly-paid career, whichever path you pursue, you're going to be starting at the bottom.  Many careers now require internships to get your foot in the door -- and many of those can be unpaid.  Almost every job starts with much lower pay; even apprenticeships in the trades start out making a fraction of what you can make once you get the full qualifications after working several years.  That is why I have separated out short-term from long-term:  your short-term goal is to make enough to get by and to stretch out that $140K you currently have.  That cushion will then allow you to afford a longer-term path that doesn't pay top-dollar right out of the gate.

Best of luck.  My son is 19, and I just really want to give you a hug right now.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and detailed response—it really means a lot to me, especially knowing that you understand just how heavy this situation feels. It’s comforting to hear someone break things down into manageable steps instead of feeling like I need to have everything figured out all at once.
You’re absolutely right about the short-term focus. I think I’ve been putting too much pressure on myself to have a ‘perfect’ plan for the future when, realistically, I need to take care of the basics first. Getting a job—any job—is my first step, but I know that my lack of a driver’s license is holding me back. I’m prioritizing getting that done as soon as possible.
Selling the car also makes perfect sense. I think we were trying to hold on to something (since it was my mom's main car) and it's just not realistic in the long run when we’re paying monthly payments we can’t afford. If we sell it, pay off the loan, and get an older, reliable car like the other one we already have, we’d be in a much better position. That would be a huge weight off my shoulders financially.
I also really appreciate your advice about community college. I’ll start researching the programs they offer, both for potential careers that can generate decent income quickly . I hadn’t thought about it as an investment in myself, but when you put it that way—spending part of the $100K to set myself up for a career where I can earn $100K a year—that really clicks for me.

As you mentioned, we do have some breathing room thanks to the inheritance and cash for expenses. I need to remind myself of that so I don’t rush into decisions out of panic. This next year should be about cutting costs, bringing in some income to slow the bleed, and really exploring the right path forward. I’ll also sit down with my dad to have an honest conversation about selling the house in the Caribbean. It doesn’t make sense to have so much money tied up in something that isn’t helping us right now, and he needs to understand how much that could change our situation.

Lastly, thank you for pointing out that starting from the bottom in any career is normal. I needed to hear that. It’s frustrating to feel like I’m so far behind, but I know the best thing I can do is take small, consistent steps forward.
Your response gave me a lot of clarity and some concrete actions to take right now, sending a virtual hug right back to you!

[Laura33]

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and detailed response—it really means a lot to me, especially knowing that you understand just how heavy this situation feels. It’s comforting to hear someone break things down into manageable steps instead of feeling like I need to have everything figured out all at once.

You’re absolutely right about the short-term focus. I think I’ve been putting too much pressure on myself to have a ‘perfect’ plan for the future when, realistically, I need to take care of the basics first. G

. . . .

Lastly, thank you for pointing out that starting from the bottom in any career is normal. I needed to hear that. It’s frustrating to feel like I’m so far behind, but I know the best thing I can do is take small, consistent steps forward.
Your response gave me a lot of clarity and some concrete actions to take right now, sending a virtual hug right back to you!

I'm glad that anything I said is helpful.  Also, FWIW:  being 18 is really fucking hard, period.  You are not behind in any way; it is 100% normal not to have everything planned out at 18.  If anything, I'd say the pressures you face are forcing you to focus on the future and develop a plan far sooner than most people your age -- and that kind of focus and planning will put you ahead in the end. 

If it makes you feel better, my daughter is 23, with a college degree in engineering, and she just quit her first post-graduate "real" job because it was making her absolutely miserable.  She still doesn't know what she really wants to do, other than "not that," so she's going back to school for a graduate degree.  And this is a kid with every advantage -- enough money, enough parental support without the helicopter-parent hovering, multiple college options, you name it. 

Almost no one gets everything right the first time, and people who tell you they did are either lying, have a very selective memory, or were both unbelievably lucky and completely oblivious that not everyone has that kind of luck.  All of us are muddling through trying to figure things out and just doing the best we can.  You are doing an unbelievably impressive job in very difficult circumstances.  So do your best to be kind to yourself -- and when you start getting down on yourself, remind yourself that no one actually knows what they're doing (even those who claim to!).

[Emily888]

I'm going to push back (gently) on your dad. As far as I can tell:
1) He has limited cognitive/language abilities & chooses to work at a job where he can make $1k/month. Perhaps that was fine when your mom was willing to pick up the slack.
2) Unfortunately, your mother has passed. Has he now recognized that, in order to cover his own expenses, he will need to step up & work more? @jeroly had good points about working  more options, even if it's a non-high paying field. Is HE expecting you to step in & cover for your mom, or is that something you are assuming? I think you need a transparent conversation where you lay out that you can, perhaps help temporarily, but you need to focus on setting up your own life and future needs.
3) Not selling the house seems like he has his head very far in the sand. He doesn't make enough money, the primary earner of his family has passed, he hasn't (it appears) started putting together a plan to cover his own expenses, and he's unwilling to consider selling the house.

It's almost like the roles are reversed & you are the parent to his child. With your additional information in your post, I think this is a much larger challenge than a financial one. I think this is a significant family/relationship challenge where you will need to set very clear expectations & your dad needs to step up & understand the reality of his situation. Putting his burdens on an 18 year old is incredibly unfair.

First off, I want to thank you for your reply and your honesty. It really helps to have open conversations where people can say what’s on their mind without holding back. I truly appreciate people telling it to me straight because it allows me to look at this situation from all angles and think more critically about what steps to take next.

I want to clarify a bit more about my dad’s situation. I wouldn’t say he’s necessarily “dependent” on me right now because that would be completely impractical and unreasonable. It’s more that he’s waiting for me to finish school, gain a practical, high-earning job, and become self-sufficient. At that point, his plan—and mine as well—would be for him to return to the Caribbean while I stay in the States, working and building my own future. We both agree that this would be the best-case scenario.

The truth is, I do believe my dad has potential, but I don’t think he believes that. The constant rejections, closed doors, and struggles in the workforce over the years have really broken his confidence and motivation. My mom's side of the family has made comments, suggesting they think he might become a “leech” in the future, considering that most men wouldn’t allow their wife to “pamper” them without having something going for themselves, which I totally get. But considering his age, it’s not like he can go back to school or get a trade certificate. I just have to work with the cards I’ve been dealt.
It’s as though he feels America isn’t the place for him. He says that if I weren’t here, he would’ve gone back to the Caribbean already. He feels as though he doesn't have the tools for basic survival in terms of his educational difficulties. I understand why he feels that way, but it’s hard to watch him remain stuck.

That being said, I can’t carry the weight of finding him a job or pushing him to take steps forward—that’s simply not realistic, especially with everything I have on my plate. My focus has to be on myself and building my own life. I’ve had these conversations with him before, and I’ve told him bluntly that I can’t hold his hand through life. I need to focus on my education, my stability, and my future because that’s what my mom would want for me. It’s a harsh truth, but it’s one we both have to accept.
My biggest concern is what happens if he loses the seasonal job he has now. That risk hangs over my head because we would have no income coming in, and that’s not something I can afford to worry about. We have a safety net with the $40K in savings, but I don’t want us to depend on that unless absolutely necessary.

Something I’ll definitely be looking into is getting my dad evaluated for a potential learning disability, because I know that there’s benefits in that regarding government help. Regarding the signs of illiteracy with his reading and writing skills, that seems to be the biggest factor holding him back from getting better job opportunities. This is why he can’t pursue standard side jobs like Uber, Postmates, or even work at McDonald’s—because all of those involve some level of reading or technical skills, which he just doesn’t have. He can drive, but he’s not even comfortable with things like GPS, so driving for Uber is completely out of the question. If he loses his current job, finding another one will be extremely difficult. I don’t want to sound harsh, but this is the reality we’re facing.

The long-term plan we’ve agreed on is that once I have a stable income and can support myself, he’ll move back to the Caribbean, and I’ll remain in the States. It’s not an ideal situation for either of us—we don’t want to be apart—but it’s the most realistic outcome given the circumstances. Regardless of whether we get the property sold, once I get stability and he’s able to go back to the Caribbean, he’ll still have a place to live with his family. I will continue to prioritize getting that house off of our shoulders, which will provide a much-needed lump sum for us right now. I’ve also been looking into real estate agents in the States who work with overseas properties. I feel like this would be more practical than working with a firm in the Caribbean, but I’m open to exploring any options.

Totally open to any “push backs”. I value brutal honesty, since It’s a complex situation, and I’m just trying to figure out a path forward that allows me to focus on what I need to do for my future while recognizing the reality of my dad’s challenges. I appreciate your perspective and advice as it pushes me to think more about solutions I may not have considered before.

[engineerjourney]

I'm going to push back (gently) on your dad. As far as I can tell:
1) He has limited cognitive/language abilities & chooses to work at a job where he can make $1k/month. Perhaps that was fine when your mom was willing to pick up the slack.
2) Unfortunately, your mother has passed. Has he now recognized that, in order to cover his own expenses, he will need to step up & work more? @jeroly had good points about working  more options, even if it's a non-high paying field. Is HE expecting you to step in & cover for your mom, or is that something you are assuming? I think you need a transparent conversation where you lay out that you can, perhaps help temporarily, but you need to focus on setting up your own life and future needs.
3) Not selling the house seems like he has his head very far in the sand. He doesn't make enough money, the primary earner of his family has passed, he hasn't (it appears) started putting together a plan to cover his own expenses, and he's unwilling to consider selling the house.

It's almost like the roles are reversed & you are the parent to his child. With your additional information in your post, I think this is a much larger challenge than a financial one. I think this is a significant family/relationship challenge where you will need to set very clear expectations & your dad needs to step up & understand the reality of his situation. Putting his burdens on an 18 year old is incredibly unfair.

First off, I want to thank you for your reply and your honesty. It really helps to have open conversations where people can say what’s on their mind without holding back. I truly appreciate people telling it to me straight because it allows me to look at this situation from all angles and think more critically about what steps to take next.

I want to clarify a bit more about my dad’s situation. I wouldn’t say he’s necessarily “dependent” on me right now because that would be completely impractical and unreasonable. It’s more that he’s waiting for me to finish school, gain a practical, high-earning job, and become self-sufficient. At that point, his plan—and mine as well—would be for him to return to the Caribbean while I stay in the States, working and building my own future. We both agree that this would be the best-case scenario.

The truth is, I do believe my dad has potential, but I don’t think he believes that. The constant rejections, closed doors, and struggles in the workforce over the years have really broken his confidence and motivation. My mom's side of the family has made comments, suggesting they think he might become a “leech” in the future, considering that most men wouldn’t allow their wife to “pamper” them without having something going for themselves, which I totally get. But considering his age, it’s not like he can go back to school or get a trade certificate. I just have to work with the cards I’ve been dealt.
It’s as though he feels America isn’t the place for him. He says that if I weren’t here, he would’ve gone back to the Caribbean already. He feels as though he doesn't have the tools for basic survival in terms of his educational difficulties. I understand why he feels that way, but it’s hard to watch him remain stuck.

That being said, I can’t carry the weight of finding him a job or pushing him to take steps forward—that’s simply not realistic, especially with everything I have on my plate. My focus has to be on myself and building my own life. I’ve had these conversations with him before, and I’ve told him bluntly that I can’t hold his hand through life. I need to focus on my education, my stability, and my future because that’s what my mom would want for me. It’s a harsh truth, but it’s one we both have to accept.
My biggest concern is what happens if he loses the seasonal job he has now. That risk hangs over my head because we would have no income coming in, and that’s not something I can afford to worry about. We have a safety net with the $40K in savings, but I don’t want us to depend on that unless absolutely necessary.

Something I’ll definitely be looking into is getting my dad evaluated for a potential learning disability, because I know that there’s benefits in that regarding government help. Regarding the signs of illiteracy with his reading and writing skills, that seems to be the biggest factor holding him back from getting better job opportunities. This is why he can’t pursue standard side jobs like Uber, Postmates, or even work at McDonald’s—because all of those involve some level of reading or technical skills, which he just doesn’t have. He can drive, but he’s not even comfortable with things like GPS, so driving for Uber is completely out of the question. If he loses his current job, finding another one will be extremely difficult. I don’t want to sound harsh, but this is the reality we’re facing.

The long-term plan we’ve agreed on is that once I have a stable income and can support myself, he’ll move back to the Caribbean, and I’ll remain in the States. It’s not an ideal situation for either of us—we don’t want to be apart—but it’s the most realistic outcome given the circumstances. Regardless of whether we get the property sold, once I get stability and he’s able to go back to the Caribbean, he’ll still have a place to live with his family. I will continue to prioritize getting that house off of our shoulders, which will provide a much-needed lump sum for us right now. I’ve also been looking into real estate agents in the States who work with overseas properties. I feel like this would be more practical than working with a firm in the Caribbean, but I’m open to exploring any options.

Totally open to any “push backs”. I value brutal honesty, since It’s a complex situation, and I’m just trying to figure out a path forward that allows me to focus on what I need to do for my future while recognizing the reality of my dad’s challenges. I appreciate your perspective and advice as it pushes me to think more about solutions I may not have considered before.

So if his end game is living in the Caribbean does it include living in the house he currently owns?  If its fully paid off then would it make more sense for him to go ahead and go there and be the property manager and get it rented out more for his income?  Not sure how the property is set up if there is a space that he could live while its rented out or at one of the family properties nearby.  He could offer groundskeeping services to other rentals in the area too maybe?  I guess do you feel more stressed with him added to your living situation now?  Would it be easier to divorce yourself of his circumstances sooner and be on your own or would that be more stressful to you?  There is no "right" answer to these questions! At first you made him seem fully dependent on you which would not be fair to you but your most recent post makes the situation seem a little better.  If he knew you were ok would he be ready to leave America?  Both of you need to figure out your goal end state and then figure out the steps to get there.  But to echo everyone else, take a deep breath, you will be ok.  Allow yourself time to grieve.  Most advice says don't make any drastic decisions within 6 months of a loss or windfall. 

On another note... what are you guys doing for heathcare?  Based on your low household income you should qualify for subsidies/Medicaid.  I am guessing the health insurance was through your mom's work before.  Please don't neglect getting something in place to protect yourself. 

*Big Hugs* you obviously have a good head on your shoulders and are going to do fantastic in life <3