When you are looking at income and spending, why are you including your BF's father's income and expenses? If you and your boyfriend have not yet decided that you two are together for life (can't tell based on your posts), why are you including his income and expenses?
My BF and I have decided that we are together for life. We met over 9 years ago and got together officially almost 4 years ago. That's why I include his income and expenses. We just got a joint account as well, which streamlines a lot of things, and since he's allowed me to take charge of the money between us (of course I always tell him what I'm doing with it and ask for his input when I want to make sure he agrees), everything works out. I live with him and his father, and because his father doesn't really plan much of anything out in spending, I have to make sure that, in case his father does pass away, we can still make it.
I would suggest that you take a spreadsheet and work out a little budget with five columns.
You (just Wasdramer)
Boyfriend's incremental increases
You + boyfriend (total of first two columns)
BF's father's incremental increases
Total of all three of you
Then make your rows:
Gross income
Less taxes
Net income
Less:
Share of Phone (what you would spend on your own if you weren't part of this family plan)
Share of Rent (what you would pay per month to rent a room in an apartment or house or get a studio apartment)
Share of Electric
Share of Natural Gas
Internet (what you could get this for on your own)
Share of groceries
Your work food/drink
Fun money
Subscriptions
Your debt payments
Etc...
Net Savings/Deficit
In your column, fill out the cost if you were to cover these expenses alone, if Father and BF had to move to Alaska and you couldn't go with them (or whatever situation would take their finances and Father's home out of the picture). So, if the lowest promotional rate for internet is $50 a month, you would put $50 in your column for internet. If the cheapest reasonable room-share you could get was $400, you would put $400 in the rent column. If you would only have $12 of subscriptions on your own, you put down $12 in your column.
In your BF's column, fill out his income and the expenses that he would cause to rise, the marginal increases that come from living with him. He wouldn't add more to internet costs, so put $0 for internet in his column. If you two were to get an apartment together, you might choose to get a $500 studio instead of a $400 room-share, so put the $100 difference in his column. He might be okay with a cheap phone plan, so you and he might each have $15 in your two cell phone entries. Put down the remaining $10 in subscriptions, because the two of you pay $22 together.
I do admit that is actually a helpful exercise for figuring out what I can and cannot cover on my own. I know there wouldn't be any way for me to cover all those expenses on my own, but I also don't own the trailer we live in, nor is my name on any of those bills relating to it. I have my credit card (which I am cancelling tomorrow), a couple other subscriptions (one will be dropped in favor of a cheaper annual subscription), and that's pretty much it. My boyfriend only has the gas bill in his name, which was done to build his credit. That would be the best thing that's ever happened to him, since he has credit history (better than my own, in fact, since mine has a few dings from before I learned about MMM).
I'll be more able to make that kind of chart once my tax forms roll in (I've not been keeping the best record, admittedly, though now I am scanning everything including receipts and pay stubs), but this year I should have roughly $14-16k. I earned income from two different jobs, and the first one fluctuated so much that it was hard to figure out what hours I would be working. The one I have now is a lot more consistent.
I'll probably work on that kind of spreadsheet in the next couple days just to see where that all really does lie, then maybe I can get more things figured out. Thank you for that kind of perspective, it always helps to have another set of eyes on things!
In Father's column, put his income and the incremental increase for any expense that he makes higher. He gets the full amount of $700 BF's dad spending. He gets any rent currently paid on his home less what has been put into the columns for you and BF (so, Father's portion of rent might be a negative number).
This part kinda confuses me. I suppose you're meaning to divide the rent by 3, or even by 2 if it were just between me and my BF (which would probably be easier in case we're trying to figure up what would need paid in his father's death/absence/whatever). In that case, I could just create a column of amounts that would not change if his father wasn't paying in. Or just lump that into Column 3 or something. Not sure how I'll plan that one out just yet. I'd honestly rather get an apartment if his father died, but I'm not sure how my BF would do with that. He wants to have something he can actually own, but we're nowhere near getting a house yet (at least financially...I'd rather pay off my student loans first).
When you look at this information, are you personally able to cover your share? Is your boyfriend able to cover his share? Are you two being subsidized by Father's social security income?
Without running those numbers, I cannot say positively for sure, but I like to think that since I'm able to have more money saved back each month that we are actually making it on our own. But again, I can't ignore that possibility, so I'll run those numbers.
So, I've been silent, but things have changed a bit again! I just quit my gas station job this month after starting to work at the same place my boyfriend is working at (a restaurant that functions similar to fast-food, but the pay is $10 an hour). When I quit the gas station job, I had $9.20 an hour and 16-24 hours because they took away my full time status. That also cut my insurance and 401k. So now i'm at the restaurant working at least 30 hours at $10 an hour. I don't get insurance or a 401k (or direct deposit, for that matter) but it's still better as far as a work environment!
I don't think work environment should be your big worry right now. You need to make more money. You mention that you can cut expenses here and work overtime there. Why not work overtime now? Will the restaurant pay you time-and-a-half for overtime hours? How much overtime will they let you work on a long-term basis? If they will let you work overtime, try to get up to 50+ hours per week. It won't be fun, but it is do-able. 30 hrs per week on straight time (normal hours) is around $14,400 per year, but 50 hrs per week with the last 10 of those at time-and-a-half is $26,400 per year (each using a year based on 48 working weeks, to allow for illness, vacations, and what-have-you). The more you work, the better a savings cushion you can build. You don't want to wait until things get bad before building a much larger safety net.
Actually, my BF is actually starting to get some of that simply because he's a low-tier manager. Because we're having five different managers transfer to a store about to open up in the next month or two, our current management will probably even out because of this. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he gets promoted to a higher tier of manager, which if that's the case, someone will have to replace him on that lower tier. Not sure who it would be, but if that does in fact happen, I'd push myself into that role. I'm one of the few that has actually picked up on things a lot faster there than anyone else new there, so it is possible. Plus management likes me (outside of my BF). So I'm going to see what I can do once that stuff happens. Also, my 90 days are up, so at the end of the month, I'll ask the store manager for a raise (since he already said something about that last month, but I hadn't quite gotten past the 90-day mark at that point). Even if it's 25¢, it'll help me build things up quicker.
You can probably find a better-paying job if you look around. You should re-read the first page of this thread for ideas. One poster mentioned Aldi. The Aldi stores in my area are paying $12+ per hour for new employees. They have 401(k) plans, medical, and more. They are also regularly hiring manager trainees, which requires more hours but pays REALLY well.
Where I currently live, there aren't many options for where to work. I'm in between two small areas for shopping, both a minimum of 3 miles away. What I have around here are a gas station (that I quit because they were not being reasonable on my hours or wage); another gas station that is attached to a McDonald's; another gas station attached to four other types of businesses that will literally rotate you around each business, and won't pay crap for it; a Denny's; a "casual dining restaurant" that I work at now; and a little strip mall that has a laundry/tan store, a liquor store, and a Metro PCS. Which leads to the next thing...
You still need to learn to drive and get your license. Yes, it is cheaper to bike and walk, but if you miss out on a job that would pay you $10,000 more per year because you don't have the ability to drive a $1,500/yr car, that would be a pretty expensive choice. Look up driving schools in your area, if that is what it takes. Start the process now, because many states have a waiting period of 6+ months between getting your permit and getting your license. You can get your license and not own a car immediately. Having your license means that you can borrow a friend's car or rent a car when you need to do so.
You are right, absolutely, on that. I have my permit, and it hasn't quite been 6 months since I got it renewed, but I should definitely look into something. I'm not sure where there is a driving school, but maybe I can find one around here.
And yes, you should get those student loans put on income-based repayment. If you keep making the same payments, they will go away just as quickly, but that way if the restaurant goes under or something else happens that cuts your income, you will have more breathing room before going into default.
While I highly doubt the restaurant will go under (it's franchised for one, and for two, the store owner is about to open a second store, and the franchise itself has a few hundred stores in multiple states), I actually went ahead and started that process of switching to income-based repayment. I'll just have to wait and see if they need any actual documentation, and if all goes well, they'll probably help on that end. Then I can pay it off without too much worry.
Again, thank you very much for your thoughts! I'm working on taking action on these things, and I know it's slow, but of course it's not a quick fix. I'm doing what I can to minimize things more, and I have a feeling it will only get better from here on out!