Liabilities:
Total Monthly Amount Rate Payment Comments Loan #1 $4,676 35.90% $177 Loan #2 $4,278 27.98% $194 CC #9 $1,000 26.24% $41 CC #1 $2,588 25.99% $28 CC #2 $2,279 24.99% $72 CC #3 $7,997 24.49% $198 Loan #3 $882 20.00% $284 CC #4 $8,447 15.49% $231 CC #5 $4,376 14.90% $109 Loan #4 $31,148 10.75% $720 Student loan #1 $49,036 6.88% $368 Auto loan #1 $25,868 4.09% $515 Honda Pilot Auto loan #2 $1,172 3.84% $525 Nissan Frontier Student loan #2 $4,066 3.63% $86 401K loan $27,743 3.25% $565 Student loan #3 $2,508 2.75% $108 CC #6 $17,711 2.00% $339 5-year pmt plan CC #7 $2,032 0.00% $78 CC #8 $16,662 0.00% $309 5-year pmt plan IRS $17,290 $240 Requesting 72 month pmt plan Total: $231,758 $5,187
Life Situation: Married filing jointly, early 40’s with two kids (8 and 2). My wife and I both have 60 mile round trip commutes to work each day. I was laid off around 2 years ago and am currently doing contract work in finance and trying to find a full time job. I am starting a journal to give more background/context on our current life situation and how we got here. I am looking for help and advice as we begin to dig ourselves out of the pile of debt we have accumulated.
Gross Salary/Deductions/Taxes:
mr. d mrs. d Gross pay $1,788.75 $7,273.22 Pre-Tax Dental $- $34.00 Medical $- $332.00 Vision $- $13.00 Total Pre-Tax: $- $379.00 Adjusted Gross Income: $1,788.75 $6,894.22 Taxes Federal $241.71 $814.76 State $94.56 $366.00 OASDI $110.90 $434.96 Medicare $25.94 $101.72 Total taxes: $473.11 $1,717.44 Post-Tax 401(k) loan $- $565.22 Total Post-Tax: $- $565.22 Net Pay: $1,315.64 $4,611.56
I am working an hourly contract position so my take home varies some with non-paid holidays and time off. The breakdown above is for one week for me and my DW is paid monthly. Our monthly take home is ~$10k. I am trying to get a full time job to maximum income.
Current expenses/budget:
Original Revised Monthly Monthly Monthly Expenses Expenses Savings Comments Cable/Phone $260 $80 $180 Canceling cable - Internet plus Netflix? Cell Phone $32 $32 $- Verizon Prepaid flip phone Daycare $490 $490 $- Dog Wellness Plan $25 $- $25 Cancel Eating Out $100 $100 $- Electric/Gas/Water $340 $340 $- Entertainment $100 $50 $50 Gas $400 $400 $- Groceries $600 $600 $- Hair/nails $100 $100 $- Need to discuss with DW Auto Insurance $81 $81 $- Get quotes House Cleaning $160 $- $160 Cancel Lawn care $39 $- $39 Cancel Medical/Health $30 $30 $- Copays - prescriptions Pest control $53 $- $53 Canceled Security $40 $- $40 Cancel Shopping/Birthdays/Misc $125 $100 $25 Tithing $60 $- $60 Cancel? YMCA $65 $- $65 Cancel YMCA Childcare $277 $277 $- Looking for ways to at least cancel early care $114 Total Monthly Expenses: $3,377 $2,680 $697 Car Pmts $1,040 $1,040 $- Frontier paid off March 2017 Credit Cards $1,405 $1,405 $- IRS $240 $240 $- Mortgage $1,986 $1,986 $- Personal loans $1,941 $1,941 $- Student Loans $561 $561 $- Total Debt Expenses: $7,173 $7,173 $- Grand Total Expenses: $10,550 $9,853 $697
Our monthly take home pay is ~10k (varies some with my hourly contract job), so with the revised budget it will still be tight.
Mortgage:
Principle & Interest = $1,596 (5/1 ARM @ 4.5%)
Taxes & Insurance = $390
Total monthly = $1,986
Assets:
Primary residence – Owe $302k, worth ~$315k
Autos – Frontier Owe $1k, worth ~$13k
Pilot owe $25k, worth ~$25k
Cash - $10k
401k - $53k
Liabilities:
Total Monthly Amount Rate Payment Comments Loan #1 $4,676 35.90% $177 Loan #2 $4,278 27.98% $194 CC #9 $1,000 26.24% $41 CC #1 $2,588 25.99% $28 CC #2 $2,279 24.99% $72 CC #3 $7,997 24.49% $198 Loan #3 $882 20.00% $284 CC #4 $8,447 15.49% $231 CC #5 $4,376 14.90% $109 Loan #4 $31,148 10.75% $720 Student loan #1 $49,036 6.88% $368 Auto loan #1 $25,868 4.09% $515 Honda Pilot Auto loan #2 $1,172 3.84% $525 Nissan Frontier Student loan #2 $4,066 3.63% $86 401K loan $27,743 3.25% $565 Student loan #3 $2,508 2.75% $108 CC #6 $17,711 2.00% $339 5-year pmt plan CC #7 $2,032 0.00% $78 CC #8 $16,662 0.00% $309 5-year pmt plan IRS $17,290 $240 Requesting 72 month pmt plan Total: $231,758 $5,187
My thoughts on a plan moving forward (any advice on these or others are appreciated):
1) Trim the monthly budget even more to free up some cash. This is going to be a transition for our family as we have lived beyond our means for some time. I am all in – the DW is going to need some help though. The kids will adapt.
2) Sell the cars and pay cash for used ones. I know everyone is going to suggest this and I know it needs to happen. My plan would be to buy a Honda Civic for $4k - $5k for myself and buy the DW a Honda Odyssey for $8k - $9k. I anticipate my DW is going to freak out though so any suggestions on having that discussion would be appreciated.
3) Get a full time job to maximize income and then use some of our cash to start paying down debt (highest interest first). With my employment situation being hourly/contract we have been just trying to make it month to month and kept the cash just in case.
So there you have it – our financial mess. We are drowning in debt and have to begin digging out. Obviously our primary goal is to get stable and begin paying down the debt. I have a lot of mixed feelings right now – extreme embarrassment and shame, fear and a little bit of empowerment.
I have followed the Beatles thread and know the face punches are coming. I am ready and deserve them all. However, I am hoping after the punches you guys will pick me back up and support me in this journey. I am committed to making this happen. Let the beatings (and then healing) begin…
I'd be curious about what others think about selling the Pilot and getting something much cheaper with better fuel efficiency. $400/month in gas is a lot to me, though with your commutes, I see why.
I think a lot of people are going to tell you to completely restructure your finances starting today. My advice is a bit different.
First, the good news. If you make NO CHANGES, you can snowball this debt paying minimum payments only in 51 months, or 4.5 years. That includes the student loans.
Second, the bad news. You will NEVER be debt free until you can stop the bleeding. I think you need to really look hard at how you ended up in this place to begin with, and create a workable monthly budget that has you living within your means permanently.
There are lots of specifics about how you can do this, and I'm sure they will be well covered in this thread. But the very basic truth is you are spending more than you earn, debt makes up a huge portion of your monthly costs, and you can't dig yourself out until you accept reality that money is a finite resource.
I think a lot of people are going to tell you to completely restructure your finances starting today. My advice is a bit different.
First, the good news. If you make NO CHANGES, you can snowball this debt paying minimum payments only in 51 months, or 4.5 years. That includes the student loans.
Second, the bad news. You will NEVER be debt free until you can stop the bleeding. I think you need to really look hard at how you ended up in this place to begin with, and create a workable monthly budget that has you living within your means permanently.
There are lots of specifics about how you can do this, and I'm sure they will be well covered in this thread. But the very basic truth is you are spending more than you earn, debt makes up a huge portion of your monthly costs, and you can't dig yourself out until you accept reality that money is a finite resource.
Show your math! Even with the revised budget in the OP, they only have an extra $200 month for debt. That is not going to pay off 231k in debt in 5 years even with snowball...
I think a lot of people are going to tell you to completely restructure your finances starting today. My advice is a bit different.
First, the good news. If you make NO CHANGES, you can snowball this debt paying minimum payments only in 51 months, or 4.5 years. That includes the student loans.
Second, the bad news. You will NEVER be debt free until you can stop the bleeding. I think you need to really look hard at how you ended up in this place to begin with, and create a workable monthly budget that has you living within your means permanently.
There are lots of specifics about how you can do this, and I'm sure they will be well covered in this thread. But the very basic truth is you are spending more than you earn, debt makes up a huge portion of your monthly costs, and you can't dig yourself out until you accept reality that money is a finite resource.
Show your math! Even with the revised budget in the OP, they only have an extra $200 month for debt. That is not going to pay off 231k in debt in 5 years even with snowball...
This is so much debt - and a lot of it debt that could be dischargeable - that you might benefit from talking to a bankruptcy lawyer.
My wife and I both have 60 mile round trip commutes to work each day. I was laid off around 2 years ago and am currently doing contract work in finance and trying to find a full time job.
I am starting a journal to give more background/context on our current life situation and how we got here. I am looking for help and advice as we begin to dig ourselves out of the pile of debt we have accumulated.
Gross Salary/Deductions/Taxes:
mr. d mrs. d Gross pay $1,788.75 $7,273.22 Pre-Tax Dental $- $34.00 Medical $- $332.00 Vision $- $13.00 Total Pre-Tax: $- $379.00 Adjusted Gross Income: $1,788.75 $6,894.22 Taxes Federal $241.71 $814.76 State $94.56 $366.00 OASDI $110.90 $434.96 Medicare $25.94 $101.72 Total taxes: $473.11 $1,717.44 Post-Tax 401(k) loan $- $565.22 Total Post-Tax: $- $565.22 Net Pay: $1,315.64 $4,611.56
I am working an hourly contract position so my take home varies some with non-paid holidays and time off. The breakdown above is for one week for me and my DW is paid monthly. Our monthly take home is ~$10k. I am trying to get a full time job to maximum income.
Current expenses/budget:
Original Revised Monthly Monthly Monthly Expenses Expenses Savings Comments Cable/Phone $260 $80 $180 Canceling cable - Internet plus Netflix? Cell Phone $32 $32 $- Verizon Prepaid flip phone Daycare $490 $490 $- Dog Wellness Plan $25 $- $25 Cancel Eating Out $100 $100 $- Electric/Gas/Water $340 $340 $- Entertainment $100 $50 $50 Gas $400 $400 $- Groceries $600 $600 $- Hair/nails $100 $100 $- Need to discuss with DW Auto Insurance $81 $81 $- Get quotes House Cleaning $160 $- $160 Cancel Lawn care $39 $- $39 Cancel Medical/Health $30 $30 $- Copays - prescriptions Pest control $53 $- $53 Canceled Security $40 $- $40 Cancel Shopping/Birthdays/Misc $125 $100 $25 Tithing $60 $- $60 Cancel? YMCA $65 $- $65 Cancel YMCA Childcare $277 $277 $- Looking for ways to at least cancel early care $114 Total Monthly Expenses: $3,377 $2,680 $697 Car Pmts $1,040 $1,040 $- Frontier paid off March 2017 Credit Cards $1,405 $1,405 $- IRS $240 $240 $- Mortgage $1,986 $1,986 $- Personal loans $1,941 $1,941 $- Student Loans $561 $561 $- Total Debt Expenses: $7,173 $7,173 $- Grand Total Expenses: $10,550 $9,853 $697
Our monthly take home pay is ~10k (varies some with my hourly contract job), so with the revised budget it will still be tight.
Mortgage:
Principle & Interest = $1,596 (5/1 ARM @ 4.5%)
Taxes & Insurance = $390
Total monthly = $1,986
Assets:
Primary residence – Owe $302k, worth ~$315k
Autos – Frontier Owe $1k, worth ~$13k
Pilot owe $25k, worth ~$25k
Cash - $10k
401k - $53k
Liabilities:
Total Monthly Amount Rate Payment Comments Loan #1 $4,676 35.90% $177 Loan #2 $4,278 27.98% $194 CC #9 $1,000 26.24% $41 CC #1 $2,588 25.99% $28 CC #2 $2,279 24.99% $72 CC #3 $7,997 24.49% $198 Loan #3 $882 20.00% $284 CC #4 $8,447 15.49% $231 CC #5 $4,376 14.90% $109 Loan #4 $31,148 10.75% $720 Student loan #1 $49,036 6.88% $368 Auto loan #1 $25,868 4.09% $515 Honda Pilot Auto loan #2 $1,172 3.84% $525 Nissan Frontier Student loan #2 $4,066 3.63% $86 401K loan $27,743 3.25% $565 Student loan #3 $2,508 2.75% $108 CC #6 $17,711 2.00% $339 5-year pmt plan CC #7 $2,032 0.00% $78 CC #8 $16,662 0.00% $309 5-year pmt plan IRS $17,290 $240 Requesting 72 month pmt plan Total: $231,758 $5,187
My thoughts on a plan moving forward (any advice on these or others are appreciated):
1) Trim the monthly budget even more to free up some cash. This is going to be a transition for our family as we have lived beyond our means for some time. I am all in – the DW is going to need some help though. The kids will adapt.
2) Sell the cars and pay cash for used ones. I know everyone is going to suggest this and I know it needs to happen. My plan would be to buy a Honda Civic for $4k - $5k for myself and buy the DW a Honda Odyssey for $8k - $9k. I anticipate my DW is going to freak out though so any suggestions on having that discussion would be appreciated.
3) Get a full time job to maximize income and then use some of our cash to start paying down debt (highest interest first). With my employment situation being hourly/contract we have been just trying to make it month to month and kept the cash just in case.
So there you have it – our financial mess. We are drowning in debt and have to begin digging out. Obviously our primary goal is to get stable and begin paying down the debt. I have a lot of mixed feelings right now – extreme embarrassment and shame, fear and a little bit of empowerment.
I have followed the Beatles thread and know the face punches are coming. I am ready and deserve them all. However, I am hoping after the punches you guys will pick me back up and support me in this journey. I am committed to making this happen. Let the beatings (and then healing) begin…
This is so much debt - and a lot of it debt that could be dischargeable - that you might benefit from talking to a bankruptcy lawyer.
He said he does contract work in finance. I've heard that filing bankruptcy can make you ineligible for jobs in banking/finance. Not sure if that's true or not.
Life Situation: Married filing jointly, early 40’s with two kids (8 and 2). My wife and I both have 60 mile round trip commutes to work each day. I was laid off around 2 years ago and am currently doing contract work in finance and trying to find a full time job. I am starting a journal to give more background/context on our current life situation and how we got here. I am looking for help and advice as we begin to dig ourselves out of the pile of debt we have accumulated.
Gross Salary/Deductions/Taxes:
mr. d mrs. d Gross pay $7,155.00 $7,273.22 Pre-Tax Dental $- $34.00 Medical $- $332.00 Vision $- $13.00 Total Pre-Tax: $- $379.00 Adjusted Gross Income: $7,155.00 $6,894.22 Taxes Federal $966.84 $814.76 State $378.24 $366.00 OASDI $443.60 $434.96 Medicare $103.76 $101.72 Total taxes: $1,892.44 $1,717.44 Post-Tax 401(k) loan $- $565.22 Total Post-Tax: $- $565.22 Net Pay: $5,262.56 $4,611.56
I am working an hourly contract position so my take home varies some with non-paid holidays and time off. The breakdown above is for one week for me and my DW is paid monthly. Our monthly take home is ~$10k. I am trying to get a full time job to maximum income.
Current expenses/budget:
Original Revised Monthly Monthly Monthly Expenses Expenses Savings Comments Cable/Phone $260 $80 $180 Canceling cable - Internet plus Netflix? Cell Phone $32 $32 $- Verizon Prepaid flip phone Daycare $490 $490 $- Dog Wellness Plan $25 $- $25 Cancel Eating Out $100 $100 $- Electric/Gas/Water $340 $340 $- Entertainment $100 $50 $50 Gas $400 $400 $- Groceries $600 $600 $- Hair/nails $100 $100 $- Need to discuss with DW Auto Insurance $81 $81 $- Get quotes House Cleaning $160 $- $160 Cancel Lawn care $39 $- $39 Cancel Medical/Health $30 $30 $- Copays - prescriptions Pest control $53 $- $53 Canceled Security $40 $- $40 Cancel Shopping/Birthdays/Misc $125 $100 $25 Tithing $60 $- $60 Cancel? YMCA $65 $- $65 Cancel YMCA Childcare $277 $277 $- Looking for ways to at least cancel early care $114 Total Monthly Expenses: $3,377 $2,680 $697 Car Pmts $1,040 $1,040 $- Frontier paid off March 2017 Credit Cards $1,405 $1,405 $- IRS $240 $240 $- Mortgage $1,986 $1,986 $- Personal loans $1,941 $1,941 $- Student Loans $561 $561 $- Total Debt Expenses: $7,173 $7,173 $- Grand Total Expenses: $10,550 $9,853 $697
Our monthly take home pay is ~10k (varies some with my hourly contract job), so with the revised budget it will still be tight.
Mortgage:
Principle & Interest = $1,596 (5/1 ARM @ 4.5%)
Taxes & Insurance = $390
Total monthly = $1,986
Assets:
Primary residence – Owe $302k, worth ~$315k
Autos – Frontier Owe $1k, worth ~$13k
Pilot owe $25k, worth ~$25k
Cash - $10k
401k - $53k
Liabilities:
Total Monthly Amount Rate Payment Comments Loan #1 $4,676 35.90% $177 Loan #2 $4,278 27.98% $194 CC #9 $1,000 26.24% $41 CC #1 $2,588 25.99% $28 CC #2 $2,279 24.99% $72 CC #3 $7,997 24.49% $198 Loan #3 $882 20.00% $284 CC #4 $8,447 15.49% $231 CC #5 $4,376 14.90% $109 Loan #4 $31,148 10.75% $720 Student loan #1 $49,036 6.88% $368 Auto loan #1 $25,868 4.09% $515 Honda Pilot Auto loan #2 $1,172 3.84% $525 Nissan Frontier Student loan #2 $4,066 3.63% $86 401K loan $27,743 3.25% $565 Student loan #3 $2,508 2.75% $108 CC #6 $17,711 2.00% $339 5-year pmt plan CC #7 $2,032 0.00% $78 CC #8 $16,662 0.00% $309 5-year pmt plan IRS $17,290 $240 Requesting 72 month pmt plan Total: $231,758 $5,187
My thoughts on a plan moving forward (any advice on these or others are appreciated):
1) Trim the monthly budget even more to free up some cash. This is going to be a transition for our family as we have lived beyond our means for some time. I am all in – the DW is going to need some help though. The kids will adapt.
2) Sell the cars and pay cash for used ones. I know everyone is going to suggest this and I know it needs to happen. My plan would be to buy a Honda Civic for $4k - $5k for myself and buy the DW a Honda Odyssey for $8k - $9k. I anticipate my DW is going to freak out though so any suggestions on having that discussion would be appreciated.
3) Get a full time job to maximize income and then use some of our cash to start paying down debt (highest interest first). With my employment situation being hourly/contract we have been just trying to make it month to month and kept the cash just in case.
So there you have it – our financial mess. We are drowning in debt and have to begin digging out. Obviously our primary goal is to get stable and begin paying down the debt. I have a lot of mixed feelings right now – extreme embarrassment and shame, fear and a little bit of empowerment.
I have followed the Beatles thread and know the face punches are coming. I am ready and deserve them all. However, I am hoping after the punches you guys will pick me back up and support me in this journey. I am committed to making this happen. Let the beatings (and then healing) begin…
Liabilities:
Total Monthly Amount Rate Payment Comments Loan #1 $4,676 35.90% $177 Loan #2 $4,278 27.98% $194 CC #9 $1,000 26.24% $41 CC #1 $2,588 25.99% $28 CC #2 $2,279 24.99% $72 CC #3 $7,997 24.49% $198 Loan #3 $882 20.00% $284 CC #4 $8,447 15.49% $231 CC #5 $4,376 14.90% $109 Loan #4 $31,148 10.75% $720 Student loan #1 $49,036 6.88% $368 Auto loan #1 $25,868 4.09% $515 Honda Pilot Auto loan #2 $1,172 3.84% $525 Nissan Frontier Student loan #2 $4,066 3.63% $86 401K loan $27,743 3.25% $565 Student loan #3 $2,508 2.75% $108 CC #6 $17,711 2.00% $339 5-year pmt plan CC #7 $2,032 0.00% $78 CC #8 $16,662 0.00% $309 5-year pmt plan IRS $17,290 $240 Requesting 72 month pmt plan Total: $231,758 $5,187
Have you considered not working (unless you can telecommute), staying at home with the kids, and getting by on one car?
We need my income now just to break even pretty much, so I have never really considered that option.
This might be an unpopular suggestion, but would your wife go for leasing a more efficient car and selling the Pilot? Might be too many miles with the commute, but a 35+ mpg car on a sub 200 lease would save a lot of money between payments and fuel without making her feel like she's driving an old clunker. Not the best solution, but would help your cash flow situation while you knock out those most usurous debts.
Take some of your cash and pay that 35% interest debt. I think that's the highest I've seen!
All good advice above, although I am not sure I agree with those saying to sell the Frontier. Frontier's are super reliable, like Tacoma's. If this truck has been trouble-free I am not sure I would risk selling it and buying a "used Honda" or something similar. You never know what troubles you could inherit. Yes it's not great on gas mileage, but I would attack your commute first before ditching that truck, i.e. see if you can carpool some days at least, find a job closer etc.
Agreed on getting rid of the Pilot though.
Yes, I really love my Frontier and have had zero issues with it at 101,000 miles and still have not had to put new brakes on it! It will be paid off in March and will be the first vehicle that I have actually owned outright in my life! I know that is sad. Cars have been a big part of my problem - always trading for a new one or leasing ones when I was younger.
I do worry about selling it and getting an older Honda and then having issues that will need a cash outlay. But I know the equity in it could be used to pay off another debt.
I don't think you should sell the Frontier because it will be paid off. Do you have a lot of debt, yes, but you can't get rid of everything--I don't think that's realistic. Some things have to be done in baby steps and not one big, fell swoop. So, start with the Honda. Find a good, used Toyota Corolla or something comparable. Just start with selling one vehicle, not both. Even the used Hondas are still quite pricey. You could probably get a 2 to 3 year old Corolla still with fairly low mileage for 1/2 the price of that Honda and put the other 1/2 of the money towards the credit card/loan debt. They are a lighter vehicle, not necessarily great in the snow in the winter, but you can get around 250,000 miles. I don't know if you live in a warmer or colder climate. Or you could get a Toyota Rav4 which is more of a small SUV. You would probably have to buy a little older.
First off, I'm stunned & confused . . . is this MMM or Yahoo Spendypants Fake Finance? How can anyone even mention bankruptcy when OP is splurging on cable, lawn care, housecleaning, hair/nails???
Whatever happened to "financial freedom via badassity" of cutting spending, getting rid of car loans, side hustles and the like?
Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk
Quote
Liabilities:
Total Monthly Amount Rate Payment Comments Loan #1 $4,676 35.90% $177 Loan #2 $4,278 27.98% $194 CC #9 $1,000 26.24% $41 CC #1 $2,588 25.99% $28 CC #2 $2,279 24.99% $72 CC #3 $7,997 24.49% $198 Loan #3 $882 20.00% $284 CC #4 $8,447 15.49% $231 CC #5 $4,376 14.90% $109 Loan #4 $31,148 10.75% $720 Student loan #1 $49,036 6.88% $368 Auto loan #1 $25,868 4.09% $515 Honda Pilot Auto loan #2 $1,172 3.84% $525 Nissan Frontier Student loan #2 $4,066 3.63% $86 401K loan $27,743 3.25% $565 Student loan #3 $2,508 2.75% $108 CC #6 $17,711 2.00% $339 5-year pmt plan CC #7 $2,032 0.00% $78 CC #8 $16,662 0.00% $309 5-year pmt plan IRS $17,290 $240 Requesting 72 month pmt plan Total: $231,758 $5,187
I would print this out and post it on the refrigerator and / or bathroom mirror. (I think that's a Ramsey thing). It's good to cross out as you pay things off to show your progress and should also make you think twice before spending on anything that isn't absolutely necessary.
First off, I'm stunned & confused . . . is this MMM or Yahoo Spendypants Fake Finance? How can anyone even mention bankruptcy when OP is splurging on cable, lawn care, housecleaning, hair/nails???
Whatever happened to "financial freedom via badassity" of cutting spending, getting rid of car loans, side hustles and the like?
Sent from my Nexus 5 using Tapatalk
How opposed do you expect your wife to be about getting your financial health in order? Does she know you're on here seeking advice?You can convince her because these 2 points are related. With your current situation she can either have the fancy car or a future of financial security but she cannot have both. She needs to decide which is more important.
I do not think she is that opposed to getting our finances in order. She is very concerned about our lack of saving for retirement and college for our kids. I think I just need to show her how much in trouble we really are and that could help her get more on board. She does not know I am on the Forum seeking advice yet. I am fairly new to MMM and she is not aware of the blog at all. I want to find a way to introduce her to all of it so she has a better idea of where I am coming from with all this.
Why get a van?
If my wife is ever willing to get rid of the Pilot, I am not sure I can persuade her to get a sedan. The funny (or not so funny really) thing is we had an Altima that would be paid off in March, but traded it for the Pilot when baby #2 arrived. You know because everyone with 2 kids just has to have a SUV. Terrible decision! That is one of my patterns it seems…my gut says terrible choice but I end up doing it anyway.
60 miles each? Why? Do you and DW work in the same direction?Is is possible to convert the job into a telecommute job. This would drop all commuting costs and could allow you to become a 1 car family.
Yes, I hate the commute but would probably earn $25k less in our area. We work around 15 mins from each other, but are on different work schedules. However, this is something we should look into.
Have you heard of Dave Ramsey and The Total Money Makeover? I would suggest picking up the book and reading it.
Yes, in fact I got his book several years and listened to his show daily for a while. One of our problems is we would get all pumped and ready to budget and attack the debt and just fall off the wagon a month or so later. It is a bad pattern we have developed. A big part of it is my fault…I say we are going to cut back on eating out and then a week later bring home take out or we go out. My wife sees that and thinks well he isn’t committed so why should I stick to the Shopping budget this month and we are off to the races. A vicious cycle we have to stop.
Your wife is opposed to selling your excessive McMansion? (And yes, 2900 sqft is definitely excessive, even if you weren't drowning in debt.)
Sorry, but tough shit for her. You have both made choices that mean you can't afford that house. Full stop. Is she opposed to not flying to Europe 4 times a year and staying at the Ritz? You don't get to be opposed to not doing things you can't afford. I'd ask her to look at the budget and tell you where the money will come from if not the house. If she can't do it (and she can't), then the house goes. You say it's a median cost/size for your area. That's a ridiculous rationalization. If everyone else was heating their home by burning $100 bills, it would still be stupid for you to do it. And downgrading to "only" burning $20s wouldn't make your actions less stupid, even though they looks slightly less asinine compared to your neighbors.
. . . .
Also, depending on the timing and terms, you could be in for an even bigger mess when that ARM starts adjusting, making all this even worse.
. . . .
One thing that I wanted to point out is something that you said earlier OP, that you and your wife would be on board but then you would get take out or eat out and your wife would follow suit and not cut back. YOU are the leader! So lead. I suggest leading with expenses that are related to yourself and the household like organizing meal prepping for the week by looking at grocery store flyers for deals, doing the grocery shopping and cooking or packing freezer bags for crock pot meals and not eating out, etc. Show her that the money that you are saving the family is going to debt then it sounds like your wife will follow with fewer nail/hair appointments, shopping, etc.
This is a great suggestion and much appreciated. I have to take the lead on this and I know she will respond and commit as well. In fact, she will probably be as good if not better at it than I am once she sees I am finally serious about it.
How far are you into the 5/1 ARM? That's a fairly concerning liability to me, especially considering the rate. Do you know if you qualify for a 30 year fixed on that amount?
The description of buckling down followed by relapsing to your previous spending habits is why I think stabilizing your budget is imperative before you tackle the debt. When is the last time you used the credit cards? Your "current" budget before the revisions still has you spending more than you earn by $700/month, and the revised budget has you spending every dollar you earn on debt minimums and living expenses.
The ARM resets in 2019. I am pretty sure we cannot qualify for a 30-year fixed at this point given my credit and DTI.
I would be totally fine selling the house and renting to help speed up the debt elimination, but I would need to get the wife on board.
One thing that I wanted to point out is something that you said earlier OP, that you and your wife would be on board but then you would get take out or eat out and your wife would follow suit and not cut back. YOU are the leader! So lead. I suggest leading with expenses that are related to yourself and the household like organizing meal prepping for the week by looking at grocery store flyers for deals, doing the grocery shopping and cooking or packing freezer bags for crock pot meals and not eating out, etc. Show her that the money that you are saving the family is going to debt then it sounds like your wife will follow with fewer nail/hair appointments, shopping, etc.
This is a great suggestion and much appreciated. I have to take the lead on this and I know she will respond and commit as well. In fact, she will probably be as good if not better at it than I am once she sees I am finally serious about it.
Loan #3 $882
CC #9 $1,000
Auto #2 $1,172
CC #2 $2279
60 miles each? Why? Do you and DW work in the same direction?
Yes, I hate the commute but would probably earn $25k less in our area. We work around 15 mins from each other, but are on different work schedules. However, this is something we should look into.
*Bring a coffee. The last thing they need right now is a $120/mo coffee habit!Quote60 miles each? Why? Do you and DW work in the same direction?
Yes, I hate the commute but would probably earn $25k less in our area. We work around 15 mins from each other, but are on different work schedules. However, this is something we should look into.
How different are we talking here? It is completely unfeasible, or merely a slight pain in the arse?
For example, do you work 7am-3pm and she works 9am-5pm? Because if it is something like this, your need to figure out a way to car pool immediately, IMHO.
Both of you join a gym and work out before or after work to kill the 2 hour difference. Get a coffee and read a book. Go for a long walk. Something, anything. 1 car and 1 commute would kill so many of your problems.
Luckily I do not drink coffee...soda is a problem though...
It has also been restructured so it is almost impossible to walk away without paying a lot of this.First off, I'm stunned & confused . . . is this MMM or Yahoo Spendypants Fake Finance? How can anyone even mention bankruptcy when OP is splurging on cable, lawn care, housecleaning, hair/nails???
Whatever happened to "financial freedom via badassity" of cutting spending, getting rid of car loans, side hustles and the like?
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I agree. Bankruptcy for consumer debt basically teaches the lesson "it's ok to fuck up financially and just walk away leaving everyone else to clean up the mess".
Pay your debts and learn lessons that will stop you from doing it again.
Beyond all the steps, you need to find a way to motivate your family to stick to the plan. Was it Your Money or Your Life that encouraged a big wall chart, where you color in your debts getting paid off and your net worth increasing? Something big and in your face, but positive.
Also set a goal for finding money each month. Can you find $200 a month? Think selling household items, picking up odd jobs (babysitting?), carpooling... That would put your time to productive use, and also bring in a cushion so that your goals are attained even in months where you encounter hurdles.
Finally, make a list of no nonsense meals to eat on days that you are just done. Post it somewhere visible and make sure you have those ingredients on hand at all times. (Ideally the menu would be foods that don't go bad fast.) Like with eggs, potatoes, and bread (keep a loaf in the freezer), you could have a breakfast meal, egg salad sandwiches, baked potatoes.... Make it as simple as picking up take out.
Good luck to you.
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Hey dashh,I'm there too. Maybe later we can get the wave going...
Just wanted to let you know I am positioned on the bleachers cheering you on.
You can do this.
a means test & what options might be available.
I would recommend something simple like this to help too. I have this posted in a spot in my house I walk by 15 times a day at least. It is a visual of bright colors of my debt. I can't tune it out, and it is nice when people come over since they don't know it is financial. In my case the white is what is left on my mortgage, but you can do anything. The key is to have it in your view, in the front of your mind, every day.
I would recommend something simple like this to help too. I have this posted in a spot in my house I walk by 15 times a day at least. It is a visual of bright colors of my debt. I can't tune it out, and it is nice when people come over since they don't know it is financial. In my case the white is what is left on my mortgage, but you can do anything. The key is to have it in your view, in the front of your mind, every day.
One thing that I wanted to point out is something that you said earlier OP, that you and your wife would be on board but then you would get take out or eat out and your wife would follow suit and not cut back. YOU are the leader! So lead. I suggest leading with expenses that are related to yourself and the household like organizing meal prepping for the week by looking at grocery store flyers for deals, doing the grocery shopping and cooking or packing freezer bags for crock pot meals and not eating out, etc. Show her that the money that you are saving the family is going to debt then it sounds like your wife will follow with fewer nail/hair appointments, shopping, etc.
This is a great suggestion and much appreciated. I have to take the lead on this and I know she will respond and commit as well. In fact, she will probably be as good if not better at it than I am once she sees I am finally serious about it.
Maybe I thought on some level that buying cars and houses would help deal with that discontentment, but obviously it hasn’t. I really wish I would have found MMM much earlier as it would have changed my perspective on work/career tremendously.
You aren't the only one is this boat. I know many people like us. They have nice cushy corporate jobs that pay well but they don't really like. Like you, I think they figure they are "stuck" in that situation and therefore they compensate by filling the void of dissatisfaction with large consumer goods - New cars, boats, toys, electronics, shopping sprees, lavish vacations etc ...
Maybe I thought on some level that buying cars and houses would help deal with that discontentment, but obviously it hasn’t. I really wish I would have found MMM much earlier as it would have changed my perspective on work/career tremendously.
Don't beat yourself up. It's easy to do. The good news here is you found MMM and you now are aware of a way out. A better way to handle your financial situation. Turn the ship around. There is still plenty of time. Grab a bucket and start getting the water out! Good luck and you may want to consider doing a journal too. You have a great story and it could help you on your journey.
Thanks for this. Yes, "stuck" is exactly how I have felt for the longest time it seems. And then you compensate with buying and just make yourself even more stuck/trapped with each purchase...
dashh -
I commend you for your extremely high level of self awareness. It is refreshing to hear someone be so frank about how they got themselves into such a desperate financial situation.
I would urge you to share your most recent post with your wife. I think it would go a long way to explaining your thought process and accepting blame for the situation.
Pick a debt and attack it next month.
I will not donate other people's money
Is your debt problem unique? Is it dire? Is it insurmountable? No. The good news: You can do this! The bad news as well as the reality: You're going to either declare bankruptcy or live in (spending) poverty for the next decade or so unless you stumble upon a buried treasure chest.
The reason I say that is because you simply don't have enough money to address your loans and you'll need to be committed to not spending anything extra for years and years. No vacations, no time off, no movies, etc. Assuming you want to pay your loans back, the order you should do that is:
Total Monthly
Amount Rate Payment Comments
Loan #1 $4,676 35.90% $177 7?
Loan #2 $4,278 27.98% $194 6
CC #9 $1,000 26.24% $41 3
CC #1 $2,588 25.99% $28 4
CC #2 $2,279 24.99% $72 5
CC #3 $7,997 24.49% $198
Loan #3 $882 20.00% $284 1
CC #4 $8,447 15.49% $231
CC #5 $4,376 14.90% $109
Loan #4 $31,148 10.75% $720
Student loan #1 $49,036 6.88% $368
Auto loan #1 $25,868 4.09% $515 Honda Pilot
Auto loan #2 $1,172 3.84% $525 Nissan Frontier 2
Student loan #2 $4,066 3.63% $86
401K loan $27,743 3.25% $565
Student loan #3 $2,508 2.75% $108
CC #6 $17,711 2.00% $339 5-year pmt plan
CC #7 $2,032 0.00% $78 7?
CC #8 $16,662 0.00% $309 5-year pmt plan
IRS $17,290 $240 Requesting 72 month pmt plan
Total: $231,758 $5,187
Ordinarily, you're supposed to pay debt based on the highest interest rates to lowest rates, but because you have an income problem instead of a spending problem, I'd aim at unlocking more money per month before reducing your $230k balance. This order will give you almost $1,400 more per month that you can use to repay your other loans with. Unfortunately, though, you won't have any money to spend while you're doing this, and I don't think your family will be thrilled at that prospect.
Do you think your wife could get a credit card if she applied? Or could you get another one? I'm curious to hear other people's thoughts on this, but why bother having the emergency fund at all here? If either of you could get another credit card during an emergency, what's the downside of using it instead of paying in cash? More debt? They're already down $230k. I'd definitely prioritize freeing up that $1,400/mo by immediately repaying those loans, but I'm positive lots of people would be uncomfortable spending the emergency fund on existing debt. It seems like you're already in an emergency, and my guess is that you've been utilizing this strategy already in order to collect that many credit cards.
I have no knowledge of IRS policies in this context, but I would get more information about that and then decide whether to focus on repaying that or the other loans with the $1,400 per month.
The bleak outlook here is that even with an extra $1,400/mo (from repaying those loans), that's only $16,800/yr, or $168,000/decade. Selling your house eliminates your mortgage payments, but then I'm guessing your rent payments won't be considerably smaller. I wish it were easier to make $230,000 quickly (and with 0% interest), but short of a windfall, you're looking at working a lot.
You've reached the point where you don't have significant cuts you can make to your (estimated) budget: Selling your house doesn't help because you haven't built up equity in it yet; your car, while inefficient, is nearly paid off; you could sell your other car (your wife's car?) but ostensibly you'll still need a second car, so the realized gain isn't particularly high; your entertain and restaurant budgets are insignificant, as are the potential savings in your grocery bill.
We are drowning in debt and have to begin digging out. Obviously our primary goal is to get stable and begin paying down the debt. I have a lot of mixed feelings right now – extreme embarrassment and shame, fear and a little bit of empowerment.Look at it this way: One of you is working JUST to pay off your consumer debt. A full time job's take-home pay gone to cover yesterday's luxuries /mistakes. That's a big face punch ... but worse, you're still spending at the rate that got you into this situation!
- Your commute time has to be cutting into your family time. Look into jobs closer to home;
Thanks again to everyone for your comments and advice. I am going to have a talk with my wife this weekend on all of this and we will see how it goes.
On a positive note, I did some market research on our home and it looks like we may have a little equity. The market has been pretty hot in our area and I think we could get $330k - $335k for our home (we owe $302k). Not a lot of equity, but may end up with something at closing given that I will use a flat fee MLS listing and basically sell it myself to save on commissions.
I will post an update after our conversation.
Posting to follow. I am looking forward to hearing how the weekend conversation went. My fingers are crossed!
Posting to follow. I am looking forward to hearing how the weekend conversation went. My fingers are crossed!
+1. I really hope it went okay. :)
Thanks for the comments.That's understandable.
In terms of the house and moving - one big issue is that my wife is very emotionally attached to our home. I can just see it as a house and a financial burden but that is harder for her to see given her attachment. I understand where she is coming from and it will be something we have to work through together.
Regardless of all other emotions and attachments - is the area where you work a decent place to live ? Perhaps driving around to see what's available near the work place in terms of neighborhoods, amenities, etc. would generate a different mindset. You could do it in a 'fun - adventure - just for kicks - theoretical' kind of way.
Thanks for the comments.
In terms of the house and moving - one big issue is that my wife is very emotionally attached to our home. I can just see it as a house and a financial burden but that is harder for her to see given her attachment. I understand where she is coming from and it will be something we have to work through together.
Baby steps...I believe I am going to start a journal to share more of our journey. I think it would help me to stay on track and we can use all the support we can get!
Posting to follow. I'm inspired by your determination to not give up and tackle a very scary pile of debt. It will be a long haul but in accordance with the principles of Mustachianism, simplifying your lifestyle and living more frugally should actually make you happier, healthier, and wealthier. Good luck!
If anyone here has been able to change your habits regarding soda/junk food/fast food I would really appreciate any tips.
If anyone here has been able to change your habits regarding soda/junk food/fast food I would really appreciate any tips.
...
Anyway I know I am not helping things with my wife if I flip flop on this and she is just going to be confused and frustrated (and much less likely to want to sell and move).
If anyone here has been able to change your habits regarding soda/junk food/fast food I would really appreciate any tips.
Hello all,Tons of good stuff here. The finance stuff is easy and simple, the psychology stuff is hard and complex. You just gotta keep working through this stuff until you settle on a plan that will make you happy. I would suggest continuing to push into the uncomfortable and see where it takes you. For me that is how I grew and changes my mindset. Keep writing, I get the feeling putting your thoughts out here is helpful to you.
I wanted to post an update regarding our progress and also to just share some of things I have been going through:
1) Monthly Budget: The monthly budget cuts have gone really well with us shaving around $1K/month. We are tracking all of our expenditures with YNAB and things are going pretty good. I am really happy that we were able to cancel all of the Y early/after care which is saving us $277/mo! The bus is working out great for our son. We still need to tighten up our grocery/eating out as I had not factored in my wife’s café at work. She usually eats lunch there (at a discount) and sometimes brings home meals for dinner. We also still have money budgeted ($100) for eating out, but need to bring it down even more. That is one of my issues that I have to lead on. I did take the tip that someone posted about buying cheaper frozen pizzas to have on hand. Sometimes we get home and are spend and just order pizza but instead I told my wife we could just cook the frozen pizzas for much less cost. Another area I can help with is with my soda/junk food problem. Not only does it cost us money at the grocery store, but it is terrible for my health. Not to mention my oldest son has already been influenced by my setting a very bad example about eating and drinking junk. I feel really bad about it and must make some changes. If anyone here has been able to change your habits regarding soda/junk food/fast food I would really appreciate any tips.
2) Autos: So I was supposed to get my truck ready to sell last weekend. My wife was out of town with the kids which gave me a chance to clean it up and take pictures to post on CL. I found myself avoiding it and ended up cleaning the entire garage and house instead. My internal dialogue went something like this, “I worked hard for many years to get this truck paid off and I deserve to keep it,” and “this truck has been very helpful in my house flipping business and I am going to need it in the future,” and “what if I buy a lemon and have to spend more money to fix it?” I think there is a bit of truth in all of these but the bottom line is I have equity in that truck that can help me get out of debt! My entitled mindset really kicked in and I started to rationalize keeping it. I told my wife I changed my mind and she came up with her own rationalizations to not sell it as well. But then she said something that made me think – she said now I know how she was emotionally tied to our house since I was emotionally tied to my truck. That made me think and it just felt wrong to not sell it. What message is that sending to her? I am supposed to be leading this and committing to it. The past few days I have thought more about it and I know I need to sell it. I think part of me is also hung up on the fact that my wife does not want to sell her Pilot. My plan was to use $5k of the $13k or so I can get for my truck to buy me a car and then use the rest to buy her something else. That way we can sell the Pilot and get rid of $25k of debt and a $515/mo payment. So I don’t want to sell my truck and use the money to pay off other debt because then I will not have the money to buy her another car if we can ever agree on selling it. I am open to suggestions here. I know I just need to start with selling the truck (which I still plan to do) but should I pay off some debt or hold the money for another car?
3) House: Where do I begin – we had agreed to pretty much put this on hold and look at options depending on where I land on the job front. However, this weekend while deciding I didn’t want to sell the truck I also did a complete 180 on the house too. It is like my old mindset just kicked in and said “screw it we are staying and I am not selling my truck…we deserve all of this and will just make the budget changes and take 5 years to pay this all off.” A big part of that mindset is my job/career. I have always resisted accounting/finance for some reason and when I got into real estate flipping thought that was what I wanted to do. I really enjoy it and it is great but I just cannot make that much money at it right now. So a part of me is saying to suck it up, get a job in finance that I can tolerate and will help us get out of debt faster and move forward. The other part is saying keep the house and try to get a job closer to home (which will not pay as much IF I can find one) and still pursue this real estate dream. The problem is the real estate stuff is part of the reason we are in this mess. I need to keep it as a side hustle and just get a job that can get us out of this hole. And that job will most likely be closer to my wife’s work which puts us back where we started with the commutes. So it would make sense for the house to go too and we move closer. Anyway I know I am not helping things with my wife if I flip flop on this and she is just going to be confused and frustrated (and much less likely to want to sell and move).
So we have made progress on the budget cuts but not so much on the things that will really speed up the process for us financially and in terms of quality of life. I think once I looked at the snowball calculator and saw that we could keep the house and cars and still be debt free in around 5 years it really messed with my head and mindset. I am just struggling with this back and forth in my head.
This ended up being longer than I had planned so thanks for reading and for any advice as always!
I know I just need to start with selling the truck (which I still plan to do) but should I pay off some debt or hold the money for another car?
Hey, just wanted to say that your self-awareness when it comes to your own thought process, and how your feelings about all these changes affect your wife's attitude, and all the stuff you talked about in your post - this is awesome! Not awesome that you're wrestling with internal resistance, but awesome how aware of it you are. That kind of insight can be slow and hard to come by, and some people never achieve it - they see their problems as created by society, or themselves as unluckier than others, etc.
You've got lots of decisions to make, but I'm pretty confident that you're going to be able to do what you need to do - which may include 100% of what's been suggested by people here, or only 75%, or some other number. It's all about how fast or slow you want to go, what's right for you and for your family.
Please, keep posting. After a seeing a couple of heartbreakingly desperate case study threads implode recently, without the people seeming to really be able to grasp the lifeline that's being offered, it's great to hear/read some positive news.
Re: soda.
In my 20's I used to drink a litre of diet Pepsi per day. I stopped by switching to club soda for a little while, then to mineral water and then to plain tap water. I never went back to drinking pop or soda. It is really bad for you - stains your teeth, can create cavities, and IIRC, there is a chemical in it that leaches calcium from your bones. So just bad stuff all around.
Good luck!!!!
Also, planning really helps me stay away from junk food. One thing I always do is keep some almonds/trail mix in a container in my desk at work. If my lunch isn't enough or i get hungry, then I just eat that rather than buy a snack from a coffee shop or corner store.
I know I just need to start with selling the truck (which I still plan to do) but should I pay off some debt or hold the money for another car?Both options are good. Let your wife know that the extra money from selling your truck can be used for a replacement vehicle for her or will be put towards debt repayment. Convince her to look at some replacement vehicles, but let her know that the decision to buy vs. stick with what she has is completely up to her.
dashh, I just wanted to say that your frankness is really inspiring. And congratulation to you both on the excellent work in reducing expenses already!
I agree with others here in that you have to set the example. In my case, I have found that DW sometimes doesn't immediately take to an idea, but after meditating on it and seeing initial results, she eagerly comes onboard. That's how we avoided buying a house or condo a few years ago in the biggest boom/bust cycle ever in Brazil, are still renting (much cheaper than buying here) are now much better prepared for when/if the time to buy comes.
You have reached this site and its ideas on your own, and reached your own conclusions (which may undergo revisions from time to time) about what to do. So you didn't need any convincing; you convinced yourself. But your wife is a different story.
Don't nag her about selling her vehicle. Sell yours first and pay off some debt, thereby reducing debt, monthly payments and interest, and gas costs. That way she'll see that improving the family's financial situation really matters to you, even if it means getting rid of things you are attached to.
If anyone here has been able to change your habits regarding soda/junk food/fast food I would really appreciate any tips.
...
*snip*
We had a pretty rough weekend financially. First our plasma tv went out on Friday night and so the dilemma of what to do presented itself. I believe the issue was the same one that happened a year of so ago and the repair would cost almost as much as a replacement. I know buying a new tv when we are in so much debt is not a very Mustachian thing to do and will draw face punches but that is the choice we made.
I will say that in the past I would have taken this as an opportunity to upgrade tv's (larger and Ultra HD) but I chose the cheapest replacement I could find (that had good reviews) which was a 50" LED for $400 at Walmart. Again I know this was probably a face punchable decision so I am prepared.
*snip*
*snip*
We had a pretty rough weekend financially. First our plasma tv went out on Friday night and so the dilemma of what to do presented itself. I believe the issue was the same one that happened a year of so ago and the repair would cost almost as much as a replacement. I know buying a new tv when we are in so much debt is not a very Mustachian thing to do and will draw face punches but that is the choice we made.
I will say that in the past I would have taken this as an opportunity to upgrade tv's (larger and Ultra HD) but I chose the cheapest replacement I could find (that had good reviews) which was a 50" LED for $400 at Walmart. Again I know this was probably a face punchable decision so I am prepared.
*snip*
First, when, exactly, was the previous TV failure? Is the TV that just broke the replacement that was purchased 1 year ago? If it's possible that the TV that just broke is around 1 year old, then dig out the receipt and check! You might still be covered by the manufacturer's warranty.
The soda thing:
How about making a jug of iced tea each week? You can do an herbal tea if you need a decaf drink in the evening, or just have a hot, herbal tea. This is how I weaned myself off soda. It was pre MMM, so I tended to buy the Unsweetened PureLeaf bottled tea for like $2, but it gives a little caffeine kick without the carbonation and sugar from Coke.
Then on Saturday we took the Pilot in for a routine oil change ($70 which is ridiculous enough since Honda recommends synthetic oil) and ended up dropping $900. Turns out we needed tires and a new battery plus the front wheel bearings are damaged which will cost another $600. I passed on the wheel bearings because frankly I didn't trust the shop. I checked out our warranty and luckily it is covered under the powertrain so IF we truly need the bearings it should be covered by Honda. That was a relief but I certainly wasn't planning on the tires/battery this month but life happens.
Then on Saturday we took the Pilot in for a routine oil change ($70 which is ridiculous enough since Honda recommends synthetic oil) and ended up dropping $900. Turns out we needed tires and a new battery plus the front wheel bearings are damaged which will cost another $600. I passed on the wheel bearings because frankly I didn't trust the shop. I checked out our warranty and luckily it is covered under the powertrain so IF we truly need the bearings it should be covered by Honda. That was a relief but I certainly wasn't planning on the tires/battery this month but life happens.
Hey, isn't it amazing how your spendypants car just cost you $900. Its funny how the argument everyone gives for brand new nice cars is that it will be worry free... Well spendypants car uses spendypants tires and spendypants oil and probably a spendypants battery...
...
I believe you fell for the jiffy-lube upsell tactic here that they make all their money on ...
Then on Saturday we took the Pilot in for a routine oil change ($70 which is ridiculous enough since Honda recommends synthetic oil) and ended up dropping $900. Turns out we needed tires and a new battery plus the front wheel bearings are damaged which will cost another $600. I passed on the wheel bearings because frankly I didn't trust the shop. I checked out our warranty and luckily it is covered under the powertrain so IF we truly need the bearings it should be covered by Honda. That was a relief but I certainly wasn't planning on the tires/battery this month but life happens.
Hey, isn't it amazing how your spendypants car just cost you $900. Its funny how the argument everyone gives for brand new nice cars is that it will be worry free... Well spendypants car uses spendypants tires and spendypants oil and probably a spendypants battery...
Dash, I don't understand how this is an "oh well life happens" moment... New tires is absolutely a non-urgent thing unless you are completely oblivious to the world. Unless you have worn your tires down to no-tread racing slicks then you have at least a couple weeks to turn down the upsell from the jiffy-lube, inspect the tires yourself, determine if they are actually worn out, and research a good cheap tire and where to buy them at the least cost.
Also, if your car started when you drove it in for an oil change then how did it need a new battery? You need a new battery when you get up and turn your car on and the battery wont start the car. Then because you are a 2 car household you can jump start the car and drive it for a battery replacement that day for a minor 2 hour inconvenience.
I believe you fell for the jiffy-lube upsell tactic here that they make all their money on. They are able to do this because most people view car repairs as absolutely essential based on the recommendation of the "expert mechanic" who understands the "incredibly complicated process" of checking the tread on the tires or the wear and tear on your serpentine belts or whatever other crap they try to sell you...
Grow that mustache and question every expense... even the "absolutely essential" ones!
Then on Saturday we took the Pilot in for a routine oil change ($70 which is ridiculous enough since Honda recommends synthetic oil) and ended up dropping $900. Turns out we needed tires and a new battery plus the front wheel bearings are damaged which will cost another $600. I passed on the wheel bearings because frankly I didn't trust the shop. I checked out our warranty and luckily it is covered under the powertrain so IF we truly need the bearings it should be covered by Honda. That was a relief but I certainly wasn't planning on the tires/battery this month but life happens.
Hey, isn't it amazing how your spendypants car just cost you $900. Its funny how the argument everyone gives for brand new nice cars is that it will be worry free... Well spendypants car uses spendypants tires and spendypants oil and probably a spendypants battery...
...
I believe you fell for the jiffy-lube upsell tactic here that they make all their money on ...
Might seem a bit harsh, but I'm with CmFtns on this one...
A quick browsing of tires available from tirerack shows you could buy 4 name-brand new tires for <$600 delivered and a battery at CostCo for $80. Add mounting and balancing fees and you're still $150 less than what you spent. Mobile1 Synthetic and a filter run $30 Walmart, and changing your own oil takes 15 minutes. And that's all assuming you needed to get all those things this week, but chances are you didn't.
We've grown up in a society that normalizes and even glorifies spending money. Step one is to question every purchase, asking "is this truly necessary and/or will this make me happier?" It's a hard notion to dispel, but it's the first step in wealth-building.
Again, please use these facepunches as motivation to find a garage you can trust, and/or to learn just enough about cars (youtube!) to tell the difference between an emergency and not.
Hey, isn't it amazing how your spendypants car just cost you $900. Its funny how the argument everyone gives for brand new nice cars is that it will be worry free... Well spendypants car uses spendypants tires and spendypants oil and probably a spendypants battery...
...
I believe you fell for the jiffy-lube upsell tactic here that they make all their money on ...
We've grown up in a society that normalizes and even glorifies spending money. Step one is to question every purchase, asking "is this truly necessary and/or will this make me happier?" It's a hard notion to dispel, but it's the first step in wealth-building.
Nereo, I also looked at tires and battery prices and found similar prices and DASH, I don't mean to be harsh at all btw... it's just about getting the point across about changing the mindset of money and questioning every single expense.
I mean, your hair is on fire and you went to buy a brand new TV at retail price! Take it back!
Hello all,
I took some time to process and take all the posts in and first just want to thank everyone for the face punches. ...
Thanks again for the support – it really helps.
I know that is very obvious to ya’ll, but until recently it just hasn’t been to us. I have always hated the debt but over the years (and even now) still continued to make choices financially that just perpetuate our situation. So my challenge is helping my DW see like I see and also to translate that into new behaviors/habits.
Thanks again for the support – it really helps.
Don't "consider" returning the TV. Do it! You have 2 perfectly functioning TVs in your house already, one of which is less than a year old. (Yes I know you need to talk to the wife and make this a joint decision, but it sounded from your post like you are fully set on that plan yourself.)
Also, you seem like someone who would benefit greatly from a cash-only system, since impulse buys tend to be a problem. If' you'd had to go pull out cash from an ATM for that TV, would you have been less likely to purchase it? Or better yet, if you'd had to go home and take money from various envelopes marked "groceries" "Debt repayment" "kids' activities", because literally every penny you have to spend for the month is allocated already--and not just in a spreadsheet, but the actual dollar bills-- would you have taken $150 from groceries knowing that mean ramen and beans and rice for 2 weeks, or from "debt repayment", know that it would push out your goals even further? (Is you do this, I recommend calculating a full debt repayment schedule and putting it on the envelope each week so that you know taking $100 out means you won't meet that deadline. Or better still, paying down the debt first so there isn't any lingering money to steal from.)
^ Well that was very motivating/inspiring for me! No tv on weeknights, what a great idea! Not too late to start on that for lent, I think.
I have not made much progress on the health front yet (soda/junk food) but I have started to notice my habits/patterns. In terms of soda, I definitely see a pattern of only wanting it when I eat certain foods. In other words, when I eat something healthier I would prefer to have water or tea. But if I am going to have pizza, burgers, etc. (bascially fast food) I have to have a soda. The other time I always have one is in the evenings when I snack while watching tv (junk food and a soda). This habit has been around a long time and is really bad for my health in general, but especially since I have had issues with acid reflux. For acid reflux, the worst thing I can do is eat anything before bed but especially not junk food and soda.
We are located around the Raleigh area of NC.
I love this thread!
I just want to chime in with a separate consideration. One of the MMM tenets that I love is to revel in the absence of convenience. More specifically, you should try and do things by yourself that you would normally pay other people to do. Once you try new things, you can be amazed at how quickly you pick up new and incredibly valuable skills.
Why do I mention this? Well, your TV just blew out and it's not something you're willing to pay to get repaired. Are you planning on throwing the broken TV out? DON'T!
Capacitors go out all the time (just Google around for 'busted capacitor'). They're incredibly easy to fix yourself, you simply need an extremely cheap replacement capacitor and a soldering iron.
Do you know what is fun? Opening up a 50" Plasma TV!!!
If you were not going to get the TV repaired, then you have nothing to lose by opening it up. And, there's just a small chance that you might teach yourself how to fix a large number of your electronic devices for pennies on the dollar.
Top hit on amazon.com: https://www.amazon.com/Samsung-Plasma-Capacitor-Repair-Replacement/dp/B0044J4U2W
Do your due diligence (don't buy electronic parts from China), read some different approaches, watch a youtube video or two: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=samsung+plasma+capacitor+replacement
Playing with massive electronics? Saving tons of money? Fixing your televison? Sounds like a great way to spend a few hours to me!
^ Well that was very motivating/inspiring for me! No tv on weeknights, what a great idea! Not too late to start on that for lent, I think.I might jump on that too! I hate the fact that I've let TV back into my life.
Good steps you're taking!
I look forward to seeing the update on your debt totals after you sell the truck, get the bonus, and pay things off this month!
Thanks for this it was very helpful!
Ok, I just called and paid off the remaining balance of Loan #3.Loan #3 $882 20.00% $284
I am running out to the bank and lunch to pay off the Frontier and I am listing it on CL tomorrow.
Also, last night instead of just sitting on the couch and wasting time on my tablet I decided to clean all of the bathrooms in the house. It felt good to actually do something productive around the house during the week.
Thanks for this it was very helpful!
Ok, I just called and paid off the remaining balance of Loan #3.Loan #3 $882 20.00% $284
I am running out to the bank and lunch to pay off the Frontier and I am listing it on CL tomorrow.
Also, last night instead of just sitting on the couch and wasting time on my tablet I decided to clean all of the bathrooms in the house. It felt good to actually do something productive around the house during the week.
This is AWESOME!
Thanks for the support!
Ok, truck is now paid off.Auto loan #2 $1,172 3.84% $525 Nissan Frontier
It feels pretty good since I have NEVER owned a car outright before. But it will feel even better to sell it, get something more fuel efficient and be able to pay off a few high interest loans!
I am actually thinking about getting a manual car since I have never learned to drive stick. I read MMM’s post about that and it really inspired me. I have always wanted to learn but as I got older just let it go. I think learning a new skill (my wife can drive stick) is just what I need right now and someday I can teach my sons.
I am unreasonably and excessively pleased about a complete stranger on the internet having two less debts to pay on every month.
I am unreasonably and excessively pleased about a complete stranger on the internet having two less debts to pay on every month.
Same.
Fantastic!
284 + 525 + 177 + 194 = $1,180 to snowball
So CC#9 ($1,000) only has one more month to live!
*rubs hands together gleefully*
You're killing this!
current plan is as follows:I'm so impressed with your progress so far and it sounds as if you'll have another big win in a week or two. Great work and thanks for motivating me to change something up !
1) My wife’s bonus hits next week so I am using that plus some of savings (~$1k) to get rid of Loan #1.
2) I was going to pay off Loan #2 with some savings as well. That should leave us around $4k - $5k in savings and get rid of the two super high interest loans.
3) Next we can use start using our snowball on CC #9.
4) Use the proceeds of truck sale (less new car) to pay off as many other high interest CC’s and loans.
So this is the order I am focusing on now:Loan #3 $882 20.00% $284Auto loan #2 $1,172 3.84% $525
Loan #1 $4,676 35.90% $177
Loan #2 $4,278 27.98% $194
CC #9 $1,000 26.24% $41
CC #1 $2,588 25.99% $28
CC #2 $2,279 24.99% $72
CC #5 $4,376 14.90% $109
I am actually thinking about getting a manual car since I have never learned to drive stick. I read MMM’s post about that and it really inspired me. I have always wanted to learn but as I got older just let it go. I think learning a new skill (my wife can drive stick) is just what I need right now and someday I can teach my sons.
Fantastic!
284 + 525 + 177 + 194 = $1,180 to snowball
So CC#9 ($1,000) only has one more month to live!
*rubs hands together gleefully*
You're killing this!
I hate to be the anti-TV nag. (OK, I love being the anti-TV nag.)
Here are some of the things I knew about The Real Adult World, 10 years ago when I graduated from college:
You have to spend a lot of money on a first date, or your date will think you're a loser.
A small car is unsafe in a crash, plus people will think you're a loser.
It is important that all your furniture matches, or people will think you're poor.
You need to wear expensive designer clothes and shoes, or you'll have no friends.
There is no substitute for living in the most desirable neighborhood.
Real adults don't have Ikea furniture or drive old used cars. Real adults buy new, expensive things.
If you can afford something you should buy it. You work hard, you deserve it.
Only later did I realize all of this was lies. Where did I learn such "knowledge"? From TV, of course.
Big corporations pay for TV shows to be made, and it's in their interest to demonstrate that a high-consumption lifestyle is normal and desirable. They want you spending and in debt. And they know that it's very hard for the brain, on a lizard level, to distinguish TV norms from actual social norms in real life.
TV can end up costing you a lot more than you think.
3) Debt: I am planning on paying off several of our debts in the next month or so. My wife is getting a bonus of around $3,500 (net) this month which is great. I should hopefully get around $8-9k from selling the truck and plan on using ~$4k of savings leaving us around $5k. Also, one of our personal loans will be paid off this month as well. So if all goes as planned we should be able to pay off around 8 debts which will save us ~1,400/mo which we can snowball. I am very excited about this as I feel like we will finally be making some progress with the debt!
Ok truck is officially posted on Craigslist, Facebook and my wife's work board!
Hoping for a quick sale!
A few things.
Not sure if this has been mentioned or not: Would it be possible to rent out your house to cover the mortgage? It involves becoming a landlord, which is sometimes a pain. But it would allow you to hang onto the house for now. Also, your 5/1 rate is now is 4.5%, right? When it becomes adjustable, it may not change that much. (It's not going to go to 10%.) Rates are really low. You might want to check the fine print & see what will happen with your house payment. (Ultimately, it would be best to lock into a low rate - they can't stay this low forever.)
A few things.
Not sure if this has been mentioned or not: Would it be possible to rent out your house to cover the mortgage? It involves becoming a landlord, which is sometimes a pain. But it would allow you to hang onto the house for now. Also, your 5/1 rate is now is 4.5%, right? When it becomes adjustable, it may not change that much. (It's not going to go to 10%.) Rates are really low. You might want to check the fine print & see what will happen with your house payment. (Ultimately, it would be best to lock into a low rate - they can't stay this low forever.)
It seems like this might be another plug for selling the expensive house now? What's "affordable" to many buyers shopping at the top of what the bank will approve them for will decline as interest rates rise. If the housing market slumps, the Dash family could end up losing equity or even going underwater, whereas selling now and renting near work would be a guaranteed leg up. Renting is risky and they don't have the financial padding to deal with repairs and legal fees that could be incurred if they get bad renters.
Rates were really low, but the Fed just raised the rate from .75% to 1.0% (a 33% increase) this week. This will impact mortgage rates and other interest rates in the near future. The historically low rates we've seen in the past are probably gone... If you didn't get under 4% before they start creeping up you probably won't anytime soon.
I also took it by the local Auction Direct (like Carmax) and they offered $11,500 to buy it. It is very tempting to just sell to them or a dealer and be done with it. I have another dealer that wants to look at and said they will can offer $12,800 contingent upon inspection. I have a feeling they will lower the final offer to around what Auction Direct offered but we will see. I can probably get around $13k private party but have to factor in the time to deal with people, look out for scams, confirm funds, etc. So I am tempted to go with the quick sale and move on especially if the dealer comes in close to $13k.
I'd give myself a deadline to sell privately, and then take the offer from the dealer if they aren't low-balling you.
Have you considered Debtors Anonymous? I have seen miracles happen. A friend eliminated $250K in debt without bankruptcy. I believe in this situation one must assess the root cause of the debt accumulation. Why is it that you've lived beyond your means for so long? This will help you with the pressure and guilt as well.
In terms of practical solutions, I'd suggest the following:
1) Sell the cars and buy used.
2) Take in a renter or rent a room on Airbnb.
3) Cut up all credit cards and only use cash or debit.
4) Consoliate all credit card debt using the Ramsey approach already mentioned.
5) Insist your children go to state schools and apply for all of the financial aid possible.
6) Focus on the free or low-cost pleasures of life, such as walking, biking and hiking that provide far more joy than shopping and spending.
7) Consider selling your house and moving into a much cheaper one. You'll probably do this eventually once your kids graduate.
I hope this is helpful. I cannot stress enough how important it is to understand the impetus of the debt spending in the first place.
We got my wife's bonus this week and it was more than expected.
Happy to report that the "mafia" loan is now paid off - good riddance!Loan #1 $4,676 35.90% $177
Thanks for this. We are not using the credit cards as they are all pretty much maxed out. So all cash.
I will have to really watch it as we pay them off though to make sure we don't try to use them when something unexpected comes up like a car repair, etc.
Thanks for this. We are not using the credit cards as they are all pretty much maxed out. So all cash.
I will have to really watch it as we pay them off though to make sure we don't try to use them when something unexpected comes up like a car repair, etc.
DON"T WATCH IT ... CUT THEM UP!!!! GET RID OF THEM ALLLL OF THEM ... save ONE and only one for DIRE EMERGENCY. :)
YOU are doing AWESOME! But if you think that you MAY use your CC's its time to not have them for awhile.
Tough love...
Thanks for this. We are not using the credit cards as they are all pretty much maxed out. So all cash.
I will have to really watch it as we pay them off though to make sure we don't try to use them when something unexpected comes up like a car repair, etc.
DON"T WATCH IT ... CUT THEM UP!!!! GET RID OF THEM ALLLL OF THEM ... save ONE and only one for DIRE EMERGENCY. :)
YOU are doing AWESOME! But if you think that you MAY use your CC's its time to not have them for awhile.
Tough love...
Agree with this. Think about it...You just financed a new TV at essentially 35.9% interest because "something unexpected [came] up". Need to keep building the frugality muscles without giving yourself an easy path to the consumer couch.
Everything in this post is correct, assuming self-control. However, many don't have that self-control and succumb to mindless spending. Just the other day someone wrote in a thread here that they signed up for a credit card for the rewards and ended up incurring thousands $ of debt with 20% interest. For these people, having a credit card does not exercise their "control muscles", it's akin to giving alcohol to an alcoholic.
Thanks for this. We are not using the credit cards as they are all pretty much maxed out. So all cash.
I will have to really watch it as we pay them off though to make sure we don't try to use them when something unexpected comes up like a car repair, etc.
DON"T WATCH IT ... CUT THEM UP!!!! GET RID OF THEM ALLLL OF THEM ... save ONE and only one for DIRE EMERGENCY. :)
YOU are doing AWESOME! But if you think that you MAY use your CC's its time to not have them for awhile.
Tough love...
Agree with this. Think about it...You just financed a new TV at essentially 35.9% interest because "something unexpected [came] up". Need to keep building the frugality muscles without giving yourself an easy path to the consumer couch.
If you can handle it (ie self-control). I would not recommend cutting up all your cards. Instead, you should re-educate yourself on what a credit card is for as an MMM reader. Credit cards are to be PAID in FULL every month. Or every week if you're paranoid like me. Credit cards are only bad for those without self-control. You know yourself best, but I would stretch those control muscles if at all possible.
Just a reminder to the doubters. Credit cards protect from identity theft. A small amount, but if someone steals your debt card number then it's WAAAAY worse than if they steal your credit card number. You can refuse to pay a bill but there's no response to a drained account. Additionally, cards can offer some pretty awesome rewards. I run a lot of money through my cards and pay them all in full every month. This means that I get cash-back and free amazon money to use on groceries, clothing, and housewares. I wouldn't recommend a travel card (reward miles) personally because vacations are extra and you don't want to feel the need to spend miles if you aren't already planning a vacation, but other cards are often well worth using.
Hello all,
As always a big thanks to everyone on the forum for your support and posts!
I just wanted to throw out an update on some things:
1) Budget/expenses: We have been tracking all expenses for three months now! In the past, we would get around one month in and just fall apart and go back to our old spending pattern. I think this time it is finally going to stick. I need to update some expenses this weekend and will post our Jan – Mar actuals and updated debt totals. We have made some good progress on some things like eating out/shopping (except the TV), but really need to do better on groceries/café charges. We just need to start better meal planning and I need to cut the junk food and soft drinks.
2) Health/diet: My goal is to start a new diet this weekend which is supposed to help with reflux (LPR or silent reflux to be specific). It will mean no soft drinks for two weeks and it is pretty restricted (low acid/fat). I tried it once before and made it about a week and saw some improvement in my coughing, so I really want to stick with it this time. I need to figure out exercise as well as I want to start working out again. I use to weight train and do cardio several days a week until I lost my job two years ago. Since then my exercise has been non-existent and even though I am still relatively thin, I have definitely traded a lot of muscle for fat (not to mention my health has probably suffered). I also am finally realizing that I eat snack/junk food like a teenager. I am talking Mountain Dew, candy bars, Oreos and Doritos before bed. It is such a bad habit and I have to kick it. I have been putting so much junk in my bottom I am surprised I don’t feel worse than I do. I also think the habit is very related to being worn out when I get home. After we get home (after that 1-hour commute), eat dinner, get the kids ready for bed and finally sit down we are worn out. We usually watch a little TV and that is when I have my junk snack and then bed. My new diet will cut that out since I am not supposed to eat within a few hours of bedtime.
3) Truck: No serious buyers on the truck. I lowered the price a little so we will see over the weekend. I am taking it to a dealer tomorrow that is supposed to pay more than CarMax so I will see what they offer. I am ready to just sell it and get started learning to drive a manual Honda.
4) TV: Yes, the TV is still on the wall. My wife and I actually talked about it briefly in a another discussion. She was contemplating tagging along with a friend that had to travel for business. She was only going to have to pay for airfare as the room would be covered. We discussed it and in the past I would have said “go for it, that’s a good deal!” But this time I said I do not think that is a wise financial decision given our situation and what we are trying to do. She was a little surprised at first but agreed. In the process of discussing the trip I mentioned that we had to work on changing our mindset when it comes to spending. The old mindset is what got us into this situation and we cannot continue to make decisions that way if we want to get out of it. I mentioned the TV and how we should have never bought it and I was thinking about taking it back. She said we shouldn’t really bother with it since it is already mounted, etc. I just left it at that for now since I was more focused on the trip in the moment but we need to discuss it again.
^ yes to this. The tv is up on the wall. Leave it be. Wife agreed to not going on a trip. That's a big win. Maybe she'll come around, sounds like she's on the right track. Let selling the tv be her idea in six months or just stick with it and concentrate on other wins.
Also, getting rid of the car sounds like a good idea to me; I generally like to cut my losses and move on ASAP for the psychological boost as well as the money boost. Cars that are $10k + are usually harder to sell on craigslist. Get the momentum going, I say, and don't worry about plus or minus a grand or two that you're losing by not fully optimizing. Wife may see the tremendous change and start getting more and more on board--that's worth the 1-2k right there.
Well done! Oh, so feel you on the health stuff. I'm working on it, too, as are a lot of people here, I bet. Doritos and Oreos are so darn delicious.
tldr if you cannot stop yourself from spending, cut up the cards
Hello all,Should we be worried about the promised but missing update?
As always a big thanks to everyone on the forum for your support and posts!
I just wanted to throw out an update on some things:
1) Budget/expenses: We have been tracking all expenses for three months now! In the past, we would get around one month in and just fall apart and go back to our old spending pattern. I think this time it is finally going to stick. I need to update some expenses this weekend and will post our Jan – Mar actuals and updated debt totals. We have made some good progress on some things like eating out/shopping (except the TV), but really need to do better on groceries/café charges. We just need to start better meal planning and I need to cut the junk food and soft drinks.
2)Health/diet: My goal is to start a new diet this weekend which is supposed to help with reflux (LPR or silent reflux to be specific). It will mean no soft drinks for two weeks and it is pretty restricted (low acid/fat). I tried it once before and made it about a week and saw some improvement in my coughing, so I really want to stick with it this time. I need to figure out exercise as well as I want to start working out again. I use to weight train and do cardio several days a week until I lost my job two years ago. Since then my exercise has been non-existent and even though I am still relatively thin, I have definitely traded a lot of muscle for fat (not to mention my health has probably suffered). I also am finally realizing that I eat snack/junk food like a teenager. I am talking Mountain Dew, candy bars, Oreos and Doritos before bed. It is such a bad habit and I have to kick it. I have been putting so much junk in my bottom I am surprised I don’t feel worse than I do. I also think the habit is very related to being worn out when I get home. After we get home (after that 1-hour commute), eat dinner, get the kids ready for bed and finally sit down we are worn out. We usually watch a little TV and that is when I have my junk snack and then bed. My new diet will cut that out since I am not supposed to eat within a few hours of bedtime.
3)Truck: No serious buyers on the truck. I lowered the price a little so we will see over the weekend. I am taking it to a dealer tomorrow that is supposed to pay more than CarMax so I will see what they offer. I am ready to just sell it and get started learning to drive a manual Honda.
4)TV: Yes, the TV is still on the wall. My wife and I actually talked about it briefly in a another discussion. She was contemplating tagging along with a friend that had to travel for business. She was only going to have to pay for airfare as the room would be covered. We discussed it and in the past I would have said “go for it, that’s a good deal!” But this time I said I do not think that is a wise financial decision given our situation and what we are trying to do. She was a little surprised at first but agreed. In the process of discussing the trip I mentioned that we had to work on changing our mindset when it comes to spending. The old mindset is what got us into this situation and we cannot continue to make decisions that way if we want to get out of it. I mentioned the TV and how we should have never bought it and I was thinking about taking it back. She said we shouldn’t really bother with it since it is already mounted, etc. I just left it at that for now since I was more focused on the trip in the moment but we need to discuss it again.
Ummm, is dashh still on the wagon?
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2) The Bad: We have completely fallen off our budget for months now. We did great for about 3 months and gradually let things go and it has not been good. No new debt thankfully but also no extra to paydown debt either. I am currently revising our budget and we have both committed to getting back on track in September. Also, I decided to not sell my truck but recently have been thinking about selling it again.
What went wrong?
You've been complimented on your awareness. It's time to turn awareness into action.
The advice on this forum is good advice! Fucking follow it!
This person is insolvent and should probably start by consulting with a bankruptcy attorney. The references to payment plans on credit card debt speak of someone that has been missing or is behind on payments to at least one creditor.