Need a jump-start!

[StiffUpperLip]

Starting afresh in 2017. Bit of a compromise between a saver (Mrs/me) and a spender/hoarder (Mr) so not likely to ever be a full on mustachian budget/lifestyle, but here goes...

Life Situation: UK based and both PAYE so no tax return to file, family of four - me (33), Mr (40) and two kids 4yrs and 20months. Both working full time with eldest in school and youngest in private nursery.

NET wages £3040.11 (mine) plus £1148.47 (his) monthly.

My contributions to defined benefit pension scheme are pretax at £227 per month and accrue approx £56 per year (from age 60) per month's contribution (really hope that makes sense). Contribution to Mr's company pension is a pittance, only matches to 1% of salary and so this is the default contribution so it's somewhere between £10-20 per month pre-tax and I don't really keep track of this at the moment.

Other Ordinary Income: Child Benefit £137.60 four-weekly. Childcare vouchers paid for from my salary pretax £124 monthly.

Overall net income: £4327.18 (as paid into the bank, not including pretax deductions above)

Taxes: Income tax not applicable as net income figures given above.

Council tax £111 monthly, car tax £185 annual.

January expenses:

Mortgage: 660.99
Water: 23.30
Gas and electricity: 90
Storage unit: 100 (face-punch expected here, a hang over from our failed attempt to sell our house, in the process of being emptied with the plan to ditch this by March)
Train tickets: 29.30 (lower than the typical 80ish due to time off, this is my commuting cost)
Petrol: 112 (higher than normal ~50 due to travel back from visiting family over New Year)
Car loan: 208.84 (I know...shame!)
Car maintenance: 0
Car tax and insurance paid annually and not due, last year's figures were £185 and £258.65 respectively.
Mobile phones x2: 70.47
Netflix: 6.99
TV Licence: 12.12
Internet: 21.00
Nursery fees: 350 (usually ~850)
Other childcare costs: 220 (paying for nursery food separately to fees, before and after-school clubs etc)
Groceries: 355.40
Eating out and takeaways: 44.69
Mine and Mr's Allowance: 200
Softplay / days out: 119.75
Events and gifts: 25.80
Life insurance: 35.82 (benefit in line with with mortgage remaining)
Misc (new shredder,  kids shoes etc): 76.03

Kids savings accounts: 100 each
Holiday and Christmas savings account: 150

Total outgoings (January): £3472.60

Difference: +1230.93
(Based on more typical figures would only be ~ +750)

Assets:
Defined benefit pension, currently worth just over £6500 per year from May 2043.
Emergency fund/current account: £17000 - approx £7000 is earmarked for a SIPP contribution before end March 2017 to bring my taxable income under 50k so I won't have to pay back any child benefit.
House is worth about what is owed so no equity (bought in February 2008 and area prices not recovered)

Liabilities:
Mortgage: -97k at 4%
Car loan: -3046.90 (originally 7k) 15 months remaining at 4%

Specific Question(s):
I suppose I'm looking for the face punches to get me to wake up and I intend to morph this into a journal at some point to get accountability on areas I need to address going forward.

I keep looking ahead (and wishing my life away I suppose to some degree) to when littlest goes to school and the bulk of the childcare costs go away as I always feel any saving I make elsewhere is dwarfed by childcare costs which can be very de-motivating...

I need to get out of my own head and get a fresh pair of eyes on these numbers... Help me find and keep a course this year and finally get my finances to a 'set and forget' position!

[Hargrove]

Storage unit: 100 (face-punch expected here, a hang over from our failed attempt to sell our house, in the process of being emptied with the plan to ditch this by March)

OH MY GOD YOU'RE PAYING TO PAY FOR THE STUFF YOU ALREADY PAID FOR. SWEET MERCIFUL BOUNCING FLAMING SENTIENT TENNIS BALLS GET RID OF THIS.

(I hope that suffices - I don't punch ladies)

Car loan: 208.84 (I know...shame!)

IN POUNDS? THE CAR MUST WEIGH LESS THAN THAT. I EXPECT YOU IN SOMETHING THAT CAN BE CONTROLLED WITH AA BATTERIES AND A REMOTE IMMEDIATELY. YOU ALREADY TAKE THE TRAIN. WHY ARE YOU DRIVING A MERCEDES.

Nursery fees: 350 (usually ~850)

HOLY SMOKING MOTH FEATHERS, YOUR HUSBAND WOULD SAVE YOU MONEY BY STAYING HOME.

Allowance: 200

ALLOWANCES IN THESE KINDS OF DIRE SITUATIONS ARE NOT ALLOWANCED.

Softplay / days out: 119.75
Events and gifts: 25.80
Misc:...

THESE ARE FANCY WORDS FOR INCREASING THE "ALLOWANCE" BUDGET AND MUST BE TERMINATED FASTER THAN BEETLES AT A PEST CONTROL CONVENTION.

Honestly, I don't know anything about UK stipends for children, so maybe it's not so crazy for your husband to work, but all the other pieces are relatively easy budget items to halve. Hopefully my shock and horror and slightly-larger-than-normal letters were what you were looking for. If not, I offer full refunds!

[Playing with Fire UK]

Yikes, those nursery fees and childcare costs are huge. Assuming your OH can't get childcare vouchers as well? Will the little one get free hours when they turn 3? How much of the additional childcare is required for you to work rather than activities? This phase is pricey and will pass. Don't beat yourself up over it. 

Would you consider paying off the car loan with some of the cash to free up more cash flow per month?

Is the groceries a typical month? There should be some savings possible here: try going down a brand and venturing to Aldi/Lidl or Costco? With the take away and eating out, is this adding enough value to justify its place in your budget? Would one of those £6 takeaway for a family in a bag packs do the same job for very little extra effort?

Has the house sale/move been cancelled or is it on hold? What is there in the storage unit that you would buy again if you didn't have it? Can the rest be sold? Is the house the right size and location for your needs?

Train tickets - is this a local metro or intercity trains. Have you looked at split tickets? Cycling? Walking? Bus?

Can you optimise the work situation? When did you last ask for a raise or do something towards a promotion? Could you optimise your and OH's working hours so that you reduce the childcare hours (one do an early start and finish and the other later)?

[PJ]

Nursery fees: 350 (usually ~850)

PLUS "Other childcare costs: 220 (paying for nursery food separately to fees, before and after-school clubs etc)"

HOLY SMOKING MOTH FEATHERS, YOUR HUSBAND WOULD SAVE YOU MONEY BY STAYING HOME.

Adding to the horror by including the other relevant line item...

Groceries: 355.40
Eating out and takeaways: 44.69

This seems really high to me too (this is in pounds, right?  For two adults, a 4 yr old and 20 mo old?)  And I wonder if some of your allowances aren't also going toward food?  Getting a handle on exactly how much you spend on food in a month would be good, and then compare it to the Mustachian folks in your part of the world to see how far out you are.

A couple of other things that hit me are:

Christmas and Holiday fund - 150 x 12 = $1,800 per year
I'm hoping that's more "holiday" than "Christmas", or else you give way better Christmas gifts than I do!  What do your vacations look like, usually?  And your gift giving practices?  Also, you have another categories for "events and gifts" - maybe would be more helpful to look at all your gift giving expenditures together?  And if events means things like concerts and movies, wouldn't that fall under your allowance?

Misc (new shredder,  kids shoes etc): 76.03
I know this is just your January expenses, but it seems to me like this is too broad a category, and I'd be willing to be that some months you spend a lot more than that - like when you need to buy the kids and yourselves a whole new summer wardrobe all at once.  You don't budget for clothing for yourselves and the kids?  That seems like an obvious one to me, and by separating it out you can really track how you spend in that category, and look for cheaper options - hand me downs, thrift shopping, capsule wardrobes, etc.

[StiffUpperLip]

Hopefully my shock and horror and slightly-larger-than-normal letters were what you were looking for. If not, I offer full refunds!

Thank you for the much needed face punches, all areas we should be attacking I know.

Childcare vs Mr wages is pretty much a wash but despite a number a of conversations and being fully aware that he basically works for nowt this is his decision and even if I don't understand it, I have to respect it. I have raised this again last night and he's the kind to need brain-space rather than being able to make quick decisions so he's in his pondering period.

The car loan could be paid off from emergency funds as only about 3k left but as I'm about to put 7k in a SIPP too I'm feeling like waiting a few months would maintain a healthier emergency fund. This may be an emotive decision rather than a rational one?

The storage unit was meant to help us stagecoach house for sale and get a head start on packing up... Needless to say we've held this much longer than expected and also filled the freed up space in our house, grrr! The hoarder is Mr and he also has a severe case of it-might-come-in-useful-one-day syndrome... I've already moved from gently-gently to getting him on board with 'we're getting rid of 50% of the stuff we own over the next three months' so there is some not-yet-realised progress in this area. I will not be paying for this after March.

Allowances and misc are next on the list but I believe attacking the whole list at once may alienate the hubby just when I'm starting to get some traction...

Thanks again for the kick up the arse, hope I haven't come across too complainypants in my reply.

[StiffUpperLip]

Groceries: 355.40
Eating out and takeaways: 44.69

This seems really high to me too (this is in pounds, right?  For two adults, a 4 yr old and 20 mo old?)  And I wonder if some of your allowances aren't also going toward food?  Getting a handle on exactly how much you spend on food in a month would be good, and then compare it to the Mustachian folks in your part of the world to see how far out you are.

A couple of other things that hit me are:

Christmas and Holiday fund - 150 x 12 = $1,800 per year
I'm hoping that's more "holiday" than "Christmas", or else you give way better Christmas gifts than I do!  What do your vacations look like, usually?  And your gift giving practices?  Also, you have another categories for "events and gifts" - maybe would be more helpful to look at all your gift giving expenditures together?  And if events means things like concerts and movies, wouldn't that fall under your allowance?

Misc (new shredder,  kids shoes etc): 76.03
I know this is just your January expenses, but it seems to me like this is too broad a category, and I'd be willing to be that some months you spend a lot more than that - like when you need to buy the kids and yourselves a whole new summer wardrobe all at once.  You don't budget for clothing for yourselves and the kids?  That seems like an obvious one to me, and by separating it out you can really track how you spend in that category, and look for cheaper options - hand me downs, thrift shopping, capsule wardrobes, etc.

Groceries is an area we're already working on, believe me this is much better than previous mostly due to meal planning and putting a limit on takeaways.  We do shop at Aldi but also add in items from other supermarkets where we've tried going off brand unsuccessfully. The biggest issue I see here is an over-reliance on expensive meat and fish e.g. salmon fillets once a week at £6-8 a time... I'll call this work-in-progress simply because I know that this is a step in the right direction...

Christmas costs about £800 all in including kids trips with school, splurging on food and drink, presents and travelling to see family e.g. extra petrol.  Holiday is a caravan on the coast this year which will cost approx £400 for the accommodation and the remaining £4-600 is available for days out, travel costs etc although we plan to eat at the van as much as possible. Both working full time we want to make the most of our time away together as a family so will loosen the purse strings for this and will feel it well spent.

Clothing - kids get quite a lot of free hand me downs from family and friends so I don't specify a budget item for this although shoes might need to go on soon at the rate at which they appear to need new ones!  Giant footed children!  Mine or hubby's clothes come out of our allowances as the argument is that we should have enough already!  Particularly true in his case as I stopped counting t-shirts when I got to 50!

Thanks for taking the time to reply, let me know if I'm veering too far into excuse-land...

[Hargrove]

Hopefully my shock and horror and slightly-larger-than-normal letters were what you were looking for. If not, I offer full refunds!

Thank you for the much needed face punches, all areas we should be attacking I know.

Childcare vs Mr wages is pretty much a wash but despite a number a of conversations and being fully aware that he basically works for nowt this is his decision and even if I don't understand it, I have to respect it. I have raised this again last night and he's the kind to need brain-space rather than being able to make quick decisions so he's in his pondering period.

The car loan could be paid off from emergency funds as only about 3k left but as I'm about to put 7k in a SIPP too I'm feeling like waiting a few months would maintain a healthier emergency fund. This may be an emotive decision rather than a rational one?

The storage unit was meant to help us stagecoach house for sale and get a head start on packing up... Needless to say we've held this much longer than expected and also filled the freed up space in our house, grrr! The hoarder is Mr and he also has a severe case of it-might-come-in-useful-one-day syndrome... I've already moved from gently-gently to getting him on board with 'we're getting rid of 50% of the stuff we own over the next three months' so there is some not-yet-realised progress in this area. I will not be paying for this after March.

Allowances and misc are next on the list but I believe attacking the whole list at once may alienate the hubby just when I'm starting to get some traction...

Thanks again for the kick up the arse, hope I haven't come across too complainypants in my reply.

You don't have to sweat sounding like you're complaining for a few reasons.

1) You don't sound like you're complaining.
2) I tell anyone trying to do this that it's the highest difficulty setting to try to do it with a spouse who isn't on board (and may not be functional in some relationships).
3) Ultimately, no one takes all the advice. Provided you except that blowing 600 pounds on things you don't need is a choice you made and that we suggested you not do it, I never ran into anyone here who needed you to follow their advice and only their advice.

Your husband has so many shirts you could probably donate half of them periodically to charity and get a tax writeoff for it. If they do that over there, actually; I don't really know. I'm assuming many are new and unworn.

To get a family to do a Mustachian meal plan without making a big deal about it, one example I might use is to plan out 14 dinners that would fit a much more efficient grocery budget. Rotate 1 or 2 in a week, slowly, and when you find the hits, keep them in and find recipes that vary on the theme without using unicorn oil or dragon-claw flour. Maybe make just one weeknight salmon filets, after you've fixed up the other 6 days.

[Playing with Fire UK]

Instead of attacking the allowances, try moving more things into the 'from allowance' spend.

Me and my SO agree the nights each of us is responsible for dinner; if we want it to be a takeaway or dinner out it comes out of one of our allowances. Also, every time we go out one of us treats the other (even though it is all the same money really). It works for us.