Congrats on paying off your credit cards. Like others, I think the biggest thing that will affect your future is learning the skill of living happily without spending too much. That's more important than any one decision.
Along that line, I agree with the comment that grocery bill seems high. Look for the many threads on thrifty eating; you can probably save $4000-5000/year right there.
Re car - sounds similar to when I arrived at this forum: VW on payments, liked the car, several years old. The important thing probably isn't this car, it's don't buy the next one new and don't buy so much car that you need to borrow. As important, the sweet spot of cost vs reliability is usually buy 4 to 8 years old depending on model. Meaning buy it at that point in cash and drive it another 6 years or so, maybe longer. I'm not a Tiguan fan myself but as a VW owner, they need a certain amount of maintenance so keeping a VW is a judgment call. I've kept mine 11 years now and the last 5 years have been tolerably cheap. You could post a car case study if you wanted to get into detail on whether that model now suits your needs and what the best alternatives are, but at 8 years old, if it's running well, in my opinion changing it is not your biggest issue. Resolve that after making other, more important decisions. Re the car note itself, I'd pay it off with the new cash if you're paying more than 4% interest because a guaranteed savings is the same as a guaranteed investment return and 4% guaranteed is a good rate.
Tidbits: Good job on phone price! Re subscriptions, an idea - pick one video service, drop the others; switch when the others have a good offer and you're ready. Binge the one you have instead of paying for several. Or do other things instead of binging! :)
If you haven't yet, calibrate your FIRE plans by reading the article linked below on how your savings rate determines time to FIRE - 50% savings rate implies about 17 years, for example; check out the table in the article that shows how to calculate such things. When purchasing for your life or cutting expenses to gain freedom, consider how the decision impacts time to FIRE. What's your savings rate based on 2020 after-tax income? How long would FIRE take if the only change was a $200 grocery bill instead of $610 per month?
https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/13/the-shockingly-simple-math-behind-early-retirement/Along the lines of the last paragraph, one way to value the inheritance is compare it to years at current savings rate. For example, if you save 30k/year, $200k is less than 7 years but more than 5. You can make a spreadsheet to add interest as if you'd contributed those amounts year by year, and run it forward until you figure out more exactly. Then subtract that number of years from the one in the article linked above and you can calculate years to FIRE.
(Until you add child cost, of course! But you have to start somewhere. Starting at how you'd get to FIRE on your own is a good start!)
Re house, I'm sorry but lots of houses are falsely sold on the idea they will be great "investments." They cost money and are consumer goods. Yes they have a component of possible financial "appreciation" (price gains) but not to where that reliably makes them a good financial decision. When purchase prices for homes are high, often renting is better financially even though it sounds less "responsible" and looks less glamorous. If you want to make the decision on financial grounds, learn to calculate an accurate cost comparison between renting and owning, while assuming that you do not accept your parents' down payment offer. Sharpen your calculation by doing a case study on that decision in the real estate part of the forum. Listen to the advice and act accordingly. And when you have good numbers, put them back into your FIRE calculation. How much longer would FIRE take if you bought a house?
Also on house, ask yourself: What's important, house or baby? House or retire early? Baby or retire early? If you could only pick one, which to do you want most? And if you can only have two, which do you want?
Would any of these answers change if the questions that say "retire early" said "get out of all-computer job"?
House part 3: Would you prefer to have baby on your own, or do you expect a spouse/partner to participate in the upbringing? If yes to partner, is there a need to have a house prior to partner? On these values-related-to-house questions, do your first responses come up as pictures where you want everything?
In the end, your money should pay for the things you want most, if of course your wants are stable and sustainable and do not harm others. Sort these things out before making big financial commitments.
House part 4: Right now, there's a home buying frenzy. Houses will probably be cheaper at some point between now and the unformed baby's high school graduation. Take your time and let others bid high. Learn to live securely on your own power, below your means, and you will gain the ability to achieve the most important goals reliably. The good life is not the rushed life, it's the carefully chosen one.
PS. Another item that might have price flexibility is clothes. $350/month? I've never bought women's clothing, so forgive me for venturing on this topic, but from reading, there are ladies on this forum who dress is fabulous style for far less. Find the threads on how they do it and maybe you could save another $2000-3000/year. One of my favorite forum members bought her clothes thriftily during her accumulation phase (still does, I suspect) but was so fashionably dressed her male coworkers were overhead remarking to each other "I'd hate to pay her Nieman Marcus bill!" Sexist, obviously, but shows that some female forum members have achieved impressive style on low budgets. (I think Dicey is the person from that story. You could put an @ in front of her forum name if you want to ask, or read her journal.)
