First, track everything. Those "irregular" expenses actually account for a huge percentage of your discretionary spending. If you have been running up CC debt, you are by definition living a lifestyle that you can't afford -- but you don't even see it, because when you look at your finances, you see $5K/mo. spending, and it looks like you are doing fine. Every penny that leaves your pocket needs to get written down somewhere -- I guarantee you will be shocked by how much that all adds up to that you can't even recall now! That is your low-hanging fruit. You have to know where you actually are before you can find a path to where you need to be.
Second, I agree with you that if you have made a commitment to your kids, you need to follow through on that -- and certainly don't burden them with your problems while they are in school or looking for jobs. Frankly, your choice to subsidize them was your choice, not theirs, so it would not be fair to ask them to assume your loans, which they never agreed to. It's entirely possible that if they'd realized they needed to bear the entire burden, they'd have made different choices, like living at home and going to CC for a few years before transferring; you can't pull a bait-and-switch on them now, after they are already committed. If things change in a few years and they can help you out, that's great -- but you need to make your plans assuming that you will be paying them all off.
But choices have consequences. And when you choose to give your kids six figures in college funding, the consequence is that you need to make very hard lifestyle decisions if you want to be financially independent and retire at a reasonable age. And that means whacking at your expenses mercilessly. Get the kids off the parental dime -- if you are going to cover college, you cannot also provide them the cushy lifestyle they have become accustomed to. That's the tradeoff that comes with your choice. As soon as your oldest gets a job, he covers his own food/cellphone/car insurance -- and if he wants to continue living at home, he can pay rent. In the meantime, he gets to live with the cheapest possible phone plan and internet; unlimited data is a luxury no one is entitled to while you're six figures in the hole. And giving your employer a free loan of thousands of dollars a month, at the cost of 20% interest? Oh hell no. You need to hold yourself to a higher standard -- if there is no possible way to make them pay up front, then until you get the CCs paid off, your #1 job is to get your expense reports in the day you return from a trip. And there is no eating out, no movies, no other extras.
I know this seems harsh, but your debt is more than you make in a full year -- and you're not even done borrowing yet. If you add in the taxes and future loans, that means that you need to work for a minimum of two full years just to pay for what you've already spent (probably three). If that's not an emergency, I don't know what is -- especially if you want to be able to retire within the next 20 years. I mean, that's a sell-the-house level of emergency. You need to re-examine all of your expectations and assumptions to decide what is most important to you.* You can fund your kids' education or live a nice lifestyle or be FI in a few years -- heck, you can probably do two of those at your income level -- but you can't do all three.
In terms of a specific plan, the investment order listed already is the best approach. But your success or failure is going to depend on how seriously you manage to cut back your expenses and work those "irregular" expenses into your plan, so you're not taken by surprise and have to rely on more debt to get you through.
*And by this I mean why are you focusing on 3Br apartments when you have one kid in college and one who's graduated? One bedroom and a sleeper sofa is sufficient, at least until you are back on track.