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I want my lifestyle inflation.

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RFAAOATB:
Here's the deal.  I'm tired of being reluctant to enjoy small purchases and want enough money to live an inflated lifestyle.  Today my retirement account value went up over $2,000 and I was perturbed that my energy drink and muffin cost nearly $4.  Yesterday I was bickering with my wife over $10 or $20 worth of unnecessary gimmicks at the store for a party we're hosting.  We've got a decent income and live like we're lower middle class.  I want to live like we are upper middle class and want to figure out the risks and best way to move forward.

Current Lifestyle:
2 mid 30s workers, and a soon to be placed one year old foster baby.
Income: 119k gross, 47k for her, 72k main work and 5k National Guard for me
Retirement savings: Max out 457 and ROTH IRA for me, $200/month 457 for her
Net income is about $5400 a month

We got $98,000 left on a $130k 2bd1.5ba condo that costs us $720 rounded up to $800 in mortgage and $580 in dues.
We have a paid off 2010 Subaru and live a one car lifestyle.
Other monthly expenses include:
Medical Insurance: $228
Cell Phone: $70
Streaming: $25
Internet: $69
Car Insurance: $45
Food/Restaurants: $1,500
Hair: $100
Travel Savings are up to $800/month
Daycare: $1000 estimate

Current retirement value is $218k for me and about $50k for her.

We have enough money to support a decent middle class life.  Now that that's taken care of, I want more.
Desired Lifestyle
I want a $500,000 4000sqft house.  I want two luxury vehicles, perhaps an Escalade and a BMW.  I want a 3-30k Rolex.  I want $200 date nights at least once a month.  I want to go out to lunch more often and stop worrying that my wife is going out to lunch too much.  Hell, I even want to go back to having cable TV as well.  Maybe even buy a $4 coffee every day.  I would prefer to get this done within the next ten years.

I am tempted to cut back my retirement contributions and plow all the money I can into the mortgage to make buying the next house easier.  With over a quarter million saved now, in 30 years that should allow us a normal retirement of $2,000,000 plus a military pension. 

I am beginning to study more before job hunting to see if I can break the 100k income threshold and maybe pass $130k in a few years.  That would require moving as it would take nearly a decade for me to break 100k here.

Specific questions:
How much income are we going to need to support this desired lifestyle? 

How much net worth should we have before taking on additional debt?

Would it make sense to buy a $250-$300,000 house that I can enjoy now and better ride the appreciation until I am ready to buy the $500,000 house?  I have a feeling that the $580 dues would be replaced with $200 service fees and leave the rest to be plowed into house equity.

How to we protect the baseline we have now so that if we over reach with the house, cars, vacation, and upper middle class lifestyle and the economy sours we at least have this much to fall back on?

What are the emotional risks of over reaching and falling back to where you were before vs. not reaching and wondering if you could have?

Miss Piggy:
Hmmm. You may be asking the wrong forum.

bobechs:
Figure out how much per year you hope to spend on your lifestyle of choice.  Include in your yearly budget debt service on a half-million dollar mortgage and any other loans (e.g. for luxury vehicles).

Take that number and multiply it by twenty-five.

That is the amount of investments you need to support your lifestyle in retirement.

It is the same math used to scale a more modest retirement; the math doesn't change, only the number of dollars needed to achieve your desired spending goal.

Be a little Lebowski Achiever!...  not a bum.

Feivel2000:
I don't know, but a $500,000 house doesn't seems to be too ambitious with 100k+in income.
Same goes for the cars and the vacations. Or the date nights and eating out.

But doing everything at once is probably to much. I think you should start by paying yourself (and your wife, each) an additional $200 of fun money.
Use the additional freedom to stop worrying about money and start to think about what's important to you. Then make a plan and act accordingly.

But don't try to buy happiness. Money does not buy happiness, it buys freedom.

ixtap:
Well, you would need about $170k of income to afford a $500k house, according to the 3x income rule of thumb. Given that you currently don't have a 20% down payment for that, and you want luxury vehicles and such to go with it, you should probably aim for a salary of $250k.

You would be much better off asking yourself what you hope to get from a big house and luxury items.

Would you be happier in your current home, but able to get an energy drink and a muffin every day without worrying?

What will a Rolex give you that your smartphone can't?

What do you do on $200 date nights? Would it make a difference to your happiness to do that once every three months versus every month?

Or, as Miss Piggy said, you may be asking the wrong forum. Is there a forum for how to best debt your way to a lifestyle above your income level?

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