Author Topic: I need help...  (Read 14130 times)

NoJustNo

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Re: I need help...
« Reply #50 on: February 16, 2017, 12:34:31 PM »
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« Last Edit: February 16, 2017, 01:13:25 PM by NoJustNo »

Laura33

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Re: I need help...
« Reply #51 on: February 16, 2017, 12:43:15 PM »
Yes, I know cuts need to be made and they are. I'm working on a Grocery budget to cut my monthly food expenses in 1/2. I'm NOT however moving because I have children with friends and a life who have moved 3 times so far and we promised them they could finish school here. This place is not overly expensive for the area and instead of criticizing me and telling me to get a cheaper place, do some research. That's the kinds of "advice" that's useless and just annoyed me.

Regardless I'm DEADLY serious about getting out of this debt. I do not want to give my cars back because then I would undoubtedly have to file bankruptcy but I may end having to do so anyway do to personal guarantees I have made for my LLC. I'm going to meet with an attorney to discuss options. I'm not scared of the ramifications either way. We can make money, we can pare down, we can pay whatever debts we need to. I'm no longer "FROZEN" I've accepted my fate. I have had the 7 year bad credit sentence before and I was cash and carry. No credit or debt and it was honestly better than what we have now. We both want this. I guess I was just expecting some different or magic advice here that I didnt' know myself already.

Dude.  All we know is that you live in the greater Orlando area and pay [I can't recall now] half your gross income on housing and transportation.  We don't know what neighborhood, we don't know what school, we don't know what you consider "great" vs. "crappy."  So someone suggests that the boys can share a room while you dig out, and maybe you should look at a cheaper neighborhood -- again, without knowing any details that would allow more specific suggestions.  And this is somehow so insulting that you lose your shit and start yelling about how we're making you go live in an unsafe crappy neighborhood and if we knew anything we'd know your rent is reasonable, and we should do more research?  Really? 

Whether you find the advice useful or not is up to you.  But there is absolutely no reason to be rude and dismissive to the very people you asked for help.  A lot of people here devoted a lot of time trying to come up with ideas for you to consider.  If you're deadly serious about getting out of debt, you'll think seriously about all of them, even if you ultimately conclude that some won't work well because of whatever part of your situation we don't know about.  But there is no call whatsoever for being rude and insulting.  You don't like the advice, fine, take your ball and go home.

Tl;dr:  You are angry at the wrong people.

vivophoenix

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Re: I need help...
« Reply #52 on: February 16, 2017, 12:46:51 PM »
You have had the 7 year sentence before?  Guess you did not learn from the first BK.  Not really sympathetic to people addicted to their lifestyle and the debt to support it that are unwilling to take good advice and prefer to wallow in denial and self pity.  You are no different than a stubborn alcoholic that has to hit bottom multiple times to change.  Maybe try Debtors' Anonymous or whatever is the place for spending addicts if and when you are finally ready to change.  Perhaps that moment will come when you are sleeping in your car after being evicted and no one will rent to you or lend you a penny, because that's where you are headed.

How are old you? People fuck up...I was young. It's this snarky bullshit that made me delete the thread. I can ASSURE YOU you would not speak to me in that tone to my face. So why does your ilk have to be such an asshole online? I think it's insecurity and the fact that you're a pencil neck wimp in real life. That's just my opinion.

you were young, but now you are old. would you like to learn from your mistakes? maybe you are angry because deep down you know a lot of these suggestions are true, and you aren't willing to make the sacrifice?

maybe you should log off and return tomorrow?


Another Reader

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Re: I need help...
« Reply #53 on: February 16, 2017, 12:49:38 PM »
Typical alcoholic/addict in denial behavior....  I would speak to you exactly the same way in person.  An addict is an addict, whether or not they want to hear the truth.

NoJustNo

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Re: I need help...
« Reply #54 on: February 16, 2017, 01:03:38 PM »
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« Last Edit: February 16, 2017, 01:13:40 PM by NoJustNo »

NoJustNo

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Re: I need help...
« Reply #55 on: February 16, 2017, 01:04:30 PM »
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« Last Edit: February 16, 2017, 01:18:05 PM by NoJustNo »

vivophoenix

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Re: I need help...
« Reply #56 on: February 16, 2017, 01:09:40 PM »
did you seriously just ask someone to CASH you outside?!

*tears of laughter*

Another Reader

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Re: I need help...
« Reply #57 on: February 16, 2017, 01:11:15 PM »
You have been given a lot of good advice here and have rejected every bit of it.  When you are ready to admit your approach has not worked, come back and look at this thread.  Until you are ready to accept help and learn from your mistakes, further "discussion," i.e. you justifying your behavior, is a waste of time.

NoJustNo

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Re: I need help...
« Reply #58 on: February 16, 2017, 01:15:18 PM »
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« Last Edit: February 16, 2017, 01:18:22 PM by NoJustNo »

ShoulderThingThatGoesUp

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Re: I need help...
« Reply #59 on: February 16, 2017, 01:18:44 PM »
You might not like the attitude, I get that. But everyone here wants a better, stable life for your family, and they have put effort into trying to help.

NoJustNo

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Re: I need help...
« Reply #60 on: February 16, 2017, 01:21:12 PM »
You have been given a lot of good advice here and have rejected every bit of it.  When you are ready to admit your approach has not worked, come back and look at this thread.  Until you are ready to accept help and learn from your mistakes, further "discussion," i.e. you justifying your behavior, is a waste of time.

I ALDREADY ADMITTED WHAT I WAS DOING WASN'T WORKING AND I HAD NO PLAN. I'M TAKING THE ADVICE OF THE KIND PEOPLE HERE.I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, I'M NOT REJECTING ANY OF IT. I DON'T LIKE THE FUCKIG SNARK, THAT'S ALL. IN REAL LIFE I WOULD NEVER DEAL WITH ANYONE WHO THREW THAT ATTITUDE TOWARD ME.  SOME OF YOU HOWEVER ARE ELITIST FUCKS. SERIOUSLY.
« Last Edit: February 16, 2017, 01:23:19 PM by NoJustNo »

Vindicated

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Re: I need help...
« Reply #61 on: February 16, 2017, 01:29:33 PM »
You have been given a lot of good advice here and have rejected every bit of it.  When you are ready to admit your approach has not worked, come back and look at this thread.  Until you are ready to accept help and learn from your mistakes, further "discussion," i.e. you justifying your behavior, is a waste of time.

I ALDREADY ADMITTED WHAT I WAS DOING WASN'T WORKING AND I HAD NO PLAN. I'M TAKING THE ADVICE OF THE KIND PEOPLE HERE.I'LL SAY IT AGAIN, I'M NOT REJECTING ANY OF IT. I DON'T LIKE THE FUCKIG SNARK, THAT'S ALL. IN REAL LIFE I WOULD NEVER DEAL WITH ANYONE WHO THREW THAT ATTITUDE TOWARD ME.  SOME OF YOU HOWEVER ARE ELITIST FUCKS. SERIOUSLY.

To be fair, it's hard to "hear" tone when reading text.  I think some comments were taken more negatively than they were intended.

Either way, good luck on your corrective actions.

Another Reader

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Re: I need help...
« Reply #62 on: February 16, 2017, 01:35:15 PM »
I'm your parents' generation, not yours.  What I'm telling you is the same thing I would tell my son or nephew in the same situation. It's not elitist, it's the parental approach.  I commend you for taking on the responsibility of helping raise your wife's kids when you married her.  Somewhere in all that anger there is a person that wants to the right thing for his family.  Right now, you are doing everything you can to ruin your life and theirs.  For their sake, your wife's sake, and your sake, pull this together, figure out what you can and cannot do and take the first step to clean up your mess.

Laura33

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Re: I need help...
« Reply #63 on: February 16, 2017, 01:36:03 PM »
Yes, I know cuts need to be made and they are. I'm working on a Grocery budget to cut my monthly food expenses in 1/2. I'm NOT however moving because I have children with friends and a life who have moved 3 times so far and we promised them they could finish school here. This place is not overly expensive for the area and instead of criticizing me and telling me to get a cheaper place, do some research. That's the kinds of "advice" that's useless and just annoyed me.

Regardless I'm DEADLY serious about getting out of this debt. I do not want to give my cars back because then I would undoubtedly have to file bankruptcy but I may end having to do so anyway do to personal guarantees I have made for my LLC. I'm going to meet with an attorney to discuss options. I'm not scared of the ramifications either way. We can make money, we can pare down, we can pay whatever debts we need to. I'm no longer "FROZEN" I've accepted my fate. I have had the 7 year bad credit sentence before and I was cash and carry. No credit or debt and it was honestly better than what we have now. We both want this. I guess I was just expecting some different or magic advice here that I didnt' know myself already.

Dude.  All we know is that you live in the greater Orlando area and pay [I can't recall now] half your gross income on housing and transportation.  We don't know what neighborhood, we don't know what school, we don't know what you consider "great" vs. "crappy."  So someone suggests that the boys can share a room while you dig out, and maybe you should look at a cheaper neighborhood -- again, without knowing any details that would allow more specific suggestions.  And this is somehow so insulting that you lose your shit and start yelling about how we're making you go live in an unsafe crappy neighborhood and if we knew anything we'd know your rent is reasonable, and we should do more research?  Really? 

Whether you find the advice useful or not is up to you.  But there is absolutely no reason to be rude and dismissive to the very people you asked for help.  A lot of people here devoted a lot of time trying to come up with ideas for you to consider.  If you're deadly serious about getting out of debt, you'll think seriously about all of them, even if you ultimately conclude that some won't work well because of whatever part of your situation we don't know about.  But there is no call whatsoever for being rude and insulting.  You don't like the advice, fine, take your ball and go home.

Tl;dr:  You are angry at the wrong people.

 I'm being rude? I suggest you go back and read some of the snarky comments long before I ever said anything.

Read 'em all.  And I have to ask:  have you been here before?  You asked advice from a forum that is (proudly) known for giving facepunches.  People don't come here to get advice that is sugar-coated and wrapped in a bow.  It's not a personal insult; no one called you a pencil-necked whatever or an elitist fuck.  It is forceful language designed to get you to wake up and pay attention to the things that are holding you back.  If some of it rubs you the wrong way, fine -- ignore it and go on to the next.

If you honestly can't tell the difference between people being direct to try to help you and namecalling, then perhaps you're in the wrong place.

And "elitist fucks"?  I drink my water out of the tap and haven't been to Starbucks in months.  Good name for a rock band, though.

swick

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Re: I need help...
« Reply #64 on: February 16, 2017, 01:48:40 PM »
Mod Note: Thanks to everyone who took the time to contribute actionable suggestions. Let's hope the OP acts on them.