I've been a Bay Area software engineer for the last 7 years. I love coding, but I'm tired of office politics and unrealistic deadlines. I aspire to pursue a more creative career. For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a writer. (Cliche, but true.) I'm also pregnant with my first child. I'm better off than most, but I can't be happy if my whole life is tech + children; I need something more.
Lots of changes on the way. My employer, where I’ve worked for 5 years, is being acquired. If the government approves the deal, I'll be a millionaire at 38. The deal is expected to close in the next 6-9 months. Our child is due in August. When he’s born, I plan to max out my maternity leave -- 3 months fully paid, 3.5 months partly paid.
I’m married to another engineer who’s perfectly happy to work in tech the rest of his life. He’s had a great job for the last 5 years, but his project just got cancelled. His current employer (BigCo) will pay him full wages & benefits until December to wrap up his current project and “transition” to another project. This includes 3 months of paternity leave :) He’s not interested in staying at BigCo and will likely join a smaller startup that can only pay half his current salary.
And now for the numbers! My husband isn’t interested in FIRE and we haven’t truly combined our finances, so I’ll focus on my own numbers for now.
Life Situation: Married (37F/40M) with a little baby (-0.5M) on the way! :) We live in Oakland, California.
Salary/Wages in 2020:
Me: 206k (+600k if the merger goes through)
My husband: 300k
Assets:
- Cash: 17,233
- Taxable Brokerage: 269,523
- 401(k): 138,414
- Rollover IRA: 147,952
- Roth IRA: 86,689
- 529: 7,556
My total net worth: 670,191
Husband’s net worth: ~900,000
Liabilities: None for me, my husband has about $700 left in student loans
Investment contributions (yearly):
- 401(k): 31,984 (19,500 + 6% employer match)
- 529 Plan: 3,660
- Taxable Brokerage: 78,000
My total contributions: 113,644 (+ 350k this year, if the merger happens)
Husband’s contributions: ??? (but he saved almost $1M in 5 years, so he’s doing fine)
-Projected- Net worth in January 2021:
Me: 1.35MM
My husband: >1MM
My share of current expenses (monthly):
- Rent: 820 (2 bedroom apartment in a crime-ish neighborhood)
- Food & Dining: 600
- Gifts & Donations: 500
- Auto & Transport: 300
- Shopping: 300
- Health & Fitness: 185
- Personal Care: 150
- Travel: 100 (I used to spend a LOT more money on this, but not this year.)
- Bills & Utilities: 62
- Entertainment: 50
- Education: 50
My total expenses: 3,117/month (40k/year, rounded up for random expenses)
Husband's total expenses: ???
Projected future baby expenses:
- Childcare: $2k at cheap daycares to $4k for an exclusive nanny
- Baby Supplies (diapers, formula? etc): $200
My share of baby expenses: 1.1k to 2.1k
My total projected expenses: 4k-5k/month (48k-60k/year)
Potential future expenses:
- ??? IVF for Baby2 ??? - $20k-$40k total. My husband's job paid for Baby1, but later we'll have to thaw out Baby2.
- ??? Mortgage ??? - Around $3-4k/month. We've resisted buying a house for a long time, but it's a possibility. I want Baby1 to have a back yard to play in, not a driveway littered with garbage in a semi-dangerous neighborhood :( If we stay in the Bay, we'd probably put half down on a $1M+ house.
Medium-term options and long-term plans:
This year, my goal is to have a healthy pregnancy and baby. My question is what to do after maternity leave is over and my husband changes jobs. My husband's new salary will be around $130k-$175k and the baby will be 6 months old. These are my options:
- Stay with my current employer. Pros: Salary is good, work/life balance is great, and we’re opening a new office 10 minutes away from home. Cons: It’s taking me forever to get promoted to a “senior” position. Company bureaucracy is terrible and makes it hard to ship code quickly. Our acquiring company is somewhat Evil. I’ve been here too long and am bored/unhappy :/
- Find another high-paying tech job at a similarly sized company. Pros: Higher title (always easier to achieve by job-hopping), high salary, new and interesting problems to work on, sweet benefits (maybe even IVF for Baby2). Cons: 45m commute to SF (few companies are in Oakland), office bureaucracy/ politics (the good jobs are at bigger companies w/similar political dysfunction)
- Find a lower-paying tech job at a startup. Pros: Higher title / can move up quickly, new and interesting problems to work on, fewer meetings & more time for code!!!, potential stock option payout. Cons: Lower salary, higher stress, fewer benefits, worse work/life balance, 45m commute to SF
- Quit tech to work on personal projects & take care of the baby. Pros: Better for the baby. Cons: Being a full-time SAHM would drive me crazy. We’d have to get a caregiver, at least part-time, but can we afford it?
In the next 3-5 years, we want to make another IVF baby and possibly leave the Bay Area. My husband loves traveling and wouldn’t mind being nomadic for awhile. He also has a claim to German citizenship; if that goes through, we can probably live anywhere in the EU. However, the most interesting tech jobs are here, and we may end up coming back for my husband's career.