Author Topic: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out  (Read 6089 times)

evensjw

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Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« on: December 28, 2018, 03:47:48 PM »
Really just looking for a bunch of people to punch me in the face in the hopes that it might help me turn things around.  I will try to tell myself that Dec is not a normal month because of the holiday, but really the numbers aren't much different from any other month - there is always some reason I give myself for excessive spending.  A birthday, a holiday, some other special occasion.  Here is what a typical month looked like:
Dec 1 - $30 at local brew pub
Dec 3 - $15 at bagel place for breakfast
Dec  5 - $25 at a cafe
Dec 6 - $12 food truck for lunch
Dec 11 - $30 local brew pub
Dec 12 - $30 local restaurant for cheap burger night
Dec 15 - $60 some friends wanted to go to a fancy italian place
Dec 16 - $30 local brew pub
Dec 18 - $160 for 5 course wine tasting meal, which I told myself was ok for a special occasion around the holiday
Dec 20 - $30 at a social club meetup
Dec 21 - $85 Friday night, included a bottle of wine that I bought to go.
Dec 22 - $15 local brew pub
Dec 23 - $45 holiday weekend, bored, went out to eat
Dec 24 - $30 local brew pub
Dec 26 - $40 'boxing day' breakfast
Dec 27 - $40 some friends invited us out
~$680 total

In pretty much all instances I'm paying for me and my girlfriend.  A few times she has also paid so I estimate that as a couple we can easily spend $1000 in a month.

Every month I tell myself to do better.  I tell myself I will say no, and cook more at home, or order one less drink, or a cheaper option on the meal.  But, each month, by the time the end of the month rolls around, my budget lays in tatters. 

I'll take any suggestions of how to keep things under control, how to get my girlfriend more onboard with spending less on food, or just general peer pressure to get it together and stop throwing my money away like a dumbass.  I don't even enjoy eating out that much - it makes me feel like crap.  But it has become a central part of my social life which I think is what makes it so hard to change.

Cassie

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2018, 04:12:02 PM »
Can you eat before you go and just have a few drinks? Share a meal or appetizer.

tralfamadorian

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #2 on: December 28, 2018, 04:21:03 PM »
I don't even enjoy eating out that much - it makes me feel like crap.  But it has become a central part of my social life which I think is what makes it so hard to change.

So, it sounds less like your core issue is meal planning and more like you need some new hobbies. Why don't you and your girlfriend make a date (at home!) with a bottle of wine where you come up with 10 things you two would like to try between now and summer?

Travis

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2018, 04:21:42 PM »
Buy a bag of bagels for breakfast and whatever toppings you want to slap on top of it. Takes a couple minutes and costs a fraction of what a shop will charge for turning a bagel into a meal.

What happens at "local brew pub" that requires you to spend $30/week? Either don't go as often, or show up with a full stomach.  If it's alcohol, limit yourself to a single drink. If eating just can't be avoided at these social outings, again, show up having already eaten and order a cheap appetizer.

If you spent $30 for two at "cheap burger night," I'd hate to see what a normal night looks like.

Buying a bottle of anything from a bar/restaurant just to take home is insanity. That goes generally for all restaurant/bar-purchased alcohol. That is the most expensive way to consume it.

Cassie

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2018, 04:57:54 PM »
We often get together with friends in our house. For instance I will make spaghetti and guests bring everything else.

marty998

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2018, 05:01:17 PM »
I'm exhausted just reading your social life. I don't know how you live it :)

SnackDog

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #6 on: December 28, 2018, 05:11:20 PM »
We strictly limit dining out to weekends.  Friday night and maybe Sat or Sunday lunch.  And no alcohol or other spendy drinks.

mrmoonymartian

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2018, 05:20:03 PM »
Take up some kind of exercise+diet regime and bore everyone to death talking about it. Make it clear that you're taking control of your calories and nutrients. Then do what you want - say no, or say yes but only get a salad, etc.

Tuskalusa

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2018, 05:53:39 PM »
Can you start be just eliminating meals out that are just for you, or for just you and your girlfriend?  These are perfect opportunities to eat at home. Then you’re just spending money when you eat out with friends.

When you get used to cooking at home, you can go to the next level and start hosting dinners for friends at your house. They don’t even need to know that you’re do8ng it to cut your dining out budget. Chances are they will enjoy kicking it at your place more than going out anyway.

Freedomin5

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2018, 06:01:21 PM »
You can also choose to spend cash. At the beginning of each month, take out a set amount of money for eating out, and keep it in a separate envelope. Every time you eat out, pay from the envelope. Once that cash is gone, it's gone, and no more eating out until the next month.

MrsTuxedocat

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #10 on: December 28, 2018, 07:13:00 PM »
How about slowly trimming the restaurant budget as in not ordering a beer or wine, and saying no sometimes and suggesting a cheaper alternative?

I also find it difficult, but I am getting better at doing things frugally. I often suggest that people come over to my house for dinner/lunch/coffee and we can just be chill.

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #11 on: December 28, 2018, 07:25:24 PM »
How’s your health? Physically, are you happy with your body? I’m asking because I know that eating out like you’re doing can help to quickly pack on the pounds. So, if that’s an issue, one thing you can do is to commit to an exercise plan.

Honestly, if I was, this is what I’d do, but it’s not mustachian.  I’d commit to a 30 day health challenge. For 30 days, you’re banned from eating out. Instead, take some of the money you would spend and find a personal trainer at the gym. Ask for an exercise and eating plan and commit to going 3-4x a week. Ask to have your body measured. Then commit. At the end of the 30 days see how you feel. Maybe you’ll love it and learn some new health habits? Don’t worry about that, just go through each day.

As for your gf, you’re setting a dangerous precedent there. You’re building co-dependency into your relationship and that’s never healthy. After the 30 day challenge, talk to her about your new direction and how you want to redirect your money, but you’ll give yourself a $50/week going out budget. And you’re committed to,stick with that for 6 months.

galliver

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #12 on: December 28, 2018, 09:34:51 PM »
With a grain of salt from someone who has struggled with this...and at times continues to...

1) Make alternative social plans with friends you see often. Make it fun and tasty to entice your friends/gf. Board games worked for us, but depends on group interests. Keep standards pretty low (home may not be spotless, food may be pasta, tacos, burgers, pizza).

2) When you're tired, beer&burger with friends, or even in the ambiance of fave spot,  will beat Loneliness Salad at home.  Keep your favorites on hand, come up with a ritual/activity to look forward to, or other reason to go/eat at home.

3) I personally think it's fine to not aim for eating-out-zero. It's how I interact with people I don't know well, or friends in their own hometowns (I was raised that inviting yourself over is generally rude...). I also enjoy trying foods/flavors/combinations I wouldn't have thought of.  But decide what is reasonable for you.

evensjw

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2018, 07:37:56 AM »
Thanks everyone, this shove in the right direction was just what I needed. Will definitely take a multipronged approach of setting stronger boundaries with gf, using some basic strategies for trimming the bill, and generally focusing on being healthier, which I know from past experience always translates to eating out les, and probably more importantly, drinking less!

mountain mustache

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #14 on: December 29, 2018, 07:49:24 AM »
I eat out about once a month, maybe a little less, but I have friends who want to go out at least once a week! I say no often, but once or twice a month I will agree to meeting up for happy hour after work. I spend less than $10, just get a drink and then go home for dinner. It's just as much fun, I get to catch up with friends without spending $30+ on a meal. Also, about once or twice a month I'll invite friends over for happy hour at my house...I make good drinks, with alcohol I get at Costco super (relatively) cheap, and it's tons of fun. We all kind of rotate, but it saves so much more than going out all the time. And I personally think it's more enjoyable, but I love being at home!

remizidae

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #15 on: December 29, 2018, 07:58:13 AM »
Thanks everyone, this shove in the right direction was just what I needed. Will definitely take a multipronged approach of setting stronger boundaries with gf...

I wouldn't frame it as "setting boundaries" with her. What you do as a couple should be a joint decision. It sounds like your girlfriend likes the eating out, and if you just unilaterally start refusing to spend money on her, it'll seem pretty selfish and rigid.  But you can absolutely have a conversation about wanting to reduce spending. And I agree that you should be alternating who pays.

You can also replace the eating out with other things she enjoys. You could stay in and give her a massage or foot rub; watch her favorite show or play her favorite game; make her favorite dessert; or get a fancy mixed six pack and do a taste test. Or if it's the social interaction she likes, do a group hike or group visit to a free museum. It's just not sustainable to stop one fun activity and replace it with nothing.


Roadrunner53

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #16 on: December 29, 2018, 08:22:17 AM »
Make it a new hobby to cook at home.

Buy an easy to use cookbook with pictures. Do not buy a cook book with a zillion ingredients per recipe or you will get discouraged right away.

We buy awesome preformed hamburgers, cook them up and put cheese on them. We will freeze maybe 8 at a time. We freeze some hamburger buns. We always have that choice waiting for us when we are tired or can't think of what to make. The burgers get thawed, rewarmed and typically we will put a slice of onion on it and melt another piece of cheese on it. Love them! If you like fish fillet sandwiches, stock up on that and you will have fish sammies ready anytime from the freezer.

Put $1,000 in a jar and each time you want to eat out, think to yourself, do you want to pluck money from the jar or maybe at the end of the month you can deposit it in savings!

Start a new tradition of socialization. If you like to go out every week, start a 'dining club' with friends where each week you rotate homes and the host makes the main meal and the guests bring sides, booze, dessert. Try new recipes each week or use old favorites.

One time we vacationed in Florida and went deep sea fishing. We cleaned the fish and froze it. We transported it back to CT and several weeks later we ate the fish with the friends we travelled with to FL. It was FUN to think we caught it in FL and eating it in CT!

Plan special occasion parties for Valentines day or St. Patrick's day. Have a BBQ for 4th of July, super bowl party. If you have friends that are into certain shows on Netflix, you could binge on a show together while having dinner together.

ElleFiji

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #17 on: December 29, 2018, 08:29:18 AM »
Oh! Oh! Oh!

This used to be my weakest spot. Eating out is loaded - social value, convenience, buying time, treat yo self...

I finally defeated it by setting goals to go x consecutive days without eating out. January is the perfect time because everyone supports budget and health resets. If you make it a whole month, then the habit piece is reset - AND friends support the reset by coming to your home, etc. So then you have new friend habits too. After that, you can figure out when it IS worth the money and when it isn't. For me, it's worth it for social value ( and I try for a smaller bill) and buying back time (goal is calories and nutrition for money). With treat my self saved for actual treats.

noplaceliketheroad

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #18 on: December 29, 2018, 03:09:41 PM »
ehhh, we're like this too currently. i think it really depends on how much money you make and if this is a significant portion of your income, or if it's a drop in a bucket.

we're out of town for DH's job for 6 months and my excuses for eating out are: he has a generous per diem, the kitchen in our hotel is gorgeously designed but completely lacking (tiny oven, tiny stove, tiny fridge), no dining table so if we eat at home we have to troll ourselves on the couch/coffee table, and the abundance of healthy/organic/delicious restaurants near our hotel. yet i'm always trying to convince myself to eat in more...

whenever we're at home, i'll go through a rough month of getting back into the swing of cooking all the meals. after that first month of it being a pain in the butt/breaking the eating out cycle, it becomes normal again. we set a rule at home that we each get 2 meals out per week. so they can be together, or separate, or one of those together and one of those on our own. I find that after that 'cold turkey' month, i stop wanting to go out, and prefer to cook.

good luck figuring out what works for you! :)

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #19 on: December 29, 2018, 03:24:12 PM »
Thanks everyone, this shove in the right direction was just what I needed. Will definitely take a multipronged approach of setting stronger boundaries with gf...

I wouldn't frame it as "setting boundaries" with her. What you do as a couple should be a joint decision. It sounds like your girlfriend likes the eating out, and if you just unilaterally start refusing to spend money on her, it'll seem pretty selfish and rigid.  But you can absolutely have a conversation about wanting to reduce spending. And I agree that you should be alternating who pays.

You can also replace the eating out with other things she enjoys. You could stay in and give her a massage or foot rub; watch her favorite show or play her favorite game; make her favorite dessert; or get a fancy mixed six pack and do a taste test. Or if it's the social interaction she likes, do a group hike or group visit to a free museum. It's just not sustainable to stop one fun activity and replace it with nothing.

I know where you’re coming from and none of these are bad ideas, but, I personally am not a fan of this advice. I don’t think it’s his responsibility to entertain her. She’s a grown human, she can entertain herself or suggest ways they can enjoy things together without spending his money. He doesn’t owe her and it’s better to go cold turkey with this co-dependence nonesense. If that’s a dealbreaker for her, than he’s better off not having someone in his life who is there to be spoiled. This was also on her to either contribute more or help put the breaks on.

And truthfully, it’s not a hard conversation: wow honey, I’m looking at my credit card statement and realizing I’m spending a ton on going out. This isn’t sustainable. I’m trying to save for my future. I’ve got some ideas on how to get ahold of this. What are your thoughts? Great, here’s a plan that I think might work, how do you feel about it?

That to me is an adult conversation. But, I’ve spoiled the shit out of you but now feel guilty so I’ll find new ways to put you on a pedestal wouldn’t work for me, that only continues co-dependency. Especially if it continues to be one sided.

Much Fishing to Do

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #20 on: December 30, 2018, 02:13:04 PM »
So as a mostly aside this doesn't look all that different than my Decembers, but my Decembers are accepted extravagance which is always followed by low spend months, etc.  I'd approach this in this way with both yourself and the gf....(oh boy I spent some money, oh boy I need to watch the calories, oh boy I should eat a bit healthier next month etc) and go from there.  Overspending for people that overspend is a month to month thing, make next month better.

Linea_Norway

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #21 on: January 03, 2019, 04:58:04 AM »
No one posted a facepunch yet, while it is so deserved:

‾͟͟͞(((ꎤˋ⁻̫ˊ)—̳͟͞͞o


Villanelle

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #22 on: January 03, 2019, 05:16:17 AM »
I HATE cooking.  A few years ago, we were gifted a few weeks of Blue Apron.  DH and I made them together and it was actually kind of fun, even through it was cooking.  Now Blue Apron isn't the cheapest option (though it's cheaper than going out), but you could absolutely do it on your own, and make a romantic evening out of cooking and sharing your meal. 

I think that explaining you are really trying to get your finances in order and need to make some cuts, and eating out is going to be one of those is a perfectly reasonable thing to tell your GF.  And it doesn't mean no eating out ever.  Depending on how mixed your finances are or how open you are about them, you can either get into particulars, or just leave it at that.  Then suggest other free and low costs things to do, and plan ahead.  Since your current default is "grab a meal", if you don't have a plan and/or an ongoing list of ideas you can tap on short notice, it's going to be very hard to break the habit. 

Linea_Norway

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #23 on: January 03, 2019, 05:34:28 AM »
For cooking, you could start cooking large portions and freeze leftovers in daily portions. Whenever you don't feel like cooking, eat from the freezer. You could also buy some easy warm-up, healthy freezer meals from the grocery shop that you have around.

Always have bread in the freezer and cereals in the cupboard, so that you can eat your breakfast at home. You can have some half baked croissants that you can put in the oven in the weekend, as a treat. Just don't go out of the door for it.

I support the idea to make it a challenge. Just join one or more of the threads on this forum https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/throw-down-the-gauntlet/ or start your own. I would go cold turkey in the beginning and cut out the eating out for a whole month, just to get the hang of it. If you ever are in the situation that you are not home and did not plan to bring food along, then you can buy a quick meal at the grocery store, instead of eating out.

ATR

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #24 on: January 04, 2019, 09:30:15 AM »
My husband and I had this same problem. Our social life usually was lots of dinners and drinks out. So we (I) made the decision that whenever possible, getting together for drinks or dinner with friends would be at someone's apartment/house/you get the point. It has reduced our dining out expenses significantly. We also both enjoy cooking and it has become a really fun way to try out new recipes and experiment with flavors and ingredients.

Even if you aren't the greatest cooks, there are tons of easy and cheap (but crowd pleasing) recipes out there. Most grocery stores sell pre-made pizza dough. It's cheap and requires little effort but the results are delicious. Grilling is also a fairly cheap and easy way to please a crowd. Potluck style meals have become our go-to. Or we do the cooking and others bring the booze!


JSMustachian

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #25 on: January 04, 2019, 01:26:16 PM »
Our meals average about $1.50 eating at home with food from the grocery store. Once I calculated that out I just could not bring myself to spend 10 times the cost eating out which is a very inefficient use of our money and delays our FIRE date even further.


 

Kronsey

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #26 on: January 04, 2019, 01:33:59 PM »
Can you share more about your life situation?

Is your job/work/business super time consuming and stressful?

Does your girlfriend and social circle expect this out of you because they think you are rich?

I've struggled with this in the past. It was mainly due to stress/burnout from starting a business and working too much.

Sometimes there are underlying issues that need to be addressed, but sometimes you just need a punch in the face!

Unique User

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #27 on: January 07, 2019, 07:42:12 AM »
Stop all the lazy eating out and keep the one special night a month and meeting with friends to start.  Cook more at home, pre-prep meals, etc.  Have a couple pre-made meals in the freezer for those nights you are feeling lazy.  Just don't go buy your groceries at Whole Foods or another fancy grocery store.  This forum is full of good ideas, check out BudgetBytes.com for ideas or just google.  Keeping only the one special night a month and meeting with friends made the $680 go down to $250. 

Dec 1 - $30 at local brew pub
Dec 3 - $15 at bagel place for breakfast
Dec  5 - $25 at a cafe
Dec 6 - $12 food truck for lunch
Dec 11 - $30 local brew pub
Dec 12 - $30 local restaurant for cheap burger night

Dec 15 - $60 some friends wanted to go to a fancy italian place
Dec 16 - $30 local brew pub
Dec 18 - $160 for 5 course wine tasting meal, which I told myself was ok for a special occasion around the holiday
Dec 20 - $30 at a social club meetup
Dec 21 - $85 Friday night, included a bottle of wine that I bought to go.
Dec 22 - $15 local brew pub
Dec 23 - $45 holiday weekend, bored, went out to eat
Dec 24 - $30 local brew pub
Dec 26 - $40 'boxing day' breakfast

Dec 27 - $40 some friends invited us out
~$680 total
« Last Edit: January 07, 2019, 10:31:09 AM by Unique User »

chicagomeg

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #28 on: January 07, 2019, 02:54:27 PM »
Lots of good ideas here. One thing that's helped me cut down on the mindless (especially solo or just with my partner) convenience eating out is to figure out super easy meals to always have on hand that I am always excited to eat. Trader Joe's helps me with this a lot. My criteria is that the main ingredients are frozen or pantry items, or things I eat so often that I don't end up throwing them away, and I can prep the whole meal in under 20 minutes. Here are some good ones:

Pita bread & falafel (just throw the pita bread in the freezer when you buy it & pull out individual pieces as needed
Trader Joe's Turkey Bolognese with Regular or Cauliflower Gnocchi
An entire pint of Halo Top (sorry, not sorry!! :D)
Breakfast for dinner, especially toast with smoked salmon, avocado, and a fried egg. A cheese omelet also satisfies me really well
Black bean burgers, which take way less time to cook than real ones and make me just as happy
Frozen pizza (yeah it's not that healthy but neither is any of the stuff you're eating out)
This kale salad except I make mine with parm because it's much easier to find; kale seems to hold up for at least a week and sometimes two in my fridge: https://smittenkitchen.com/2014/03/kale-and-quinoa-salad-with-ricotta-salata/

None of these cost more than $10 and it's such a habit for me now that I always have at least 1 or 2 on hand. It's part of my mental grocery shopping list now: do I have lunches, ingredients to cook 1-2 dinners, breakfast food, fruit, pantry staples, and stuff on hand for 1 or 2 lazy meals?

The stuff with friends is harder to cut. My one tip is that my friends are always happy to follow my lead if I dig up a happy hour special--they're not thrilled to spend $50 on dinner either, they're just lazy. Otherwise, I try not to sweat that as much. I think there are a lot of introverts around here (love you guys very much!!) but personally I need to see my friends 3-4 times a week to stay sane and sometimes going out to dinner just comes with the territory. If I tried to cut back to eating out once a month I'd be in trouble socially and mental health wise.

Roadrunner53

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #29 on: January 07, 2019, 03:11:33 PM »
Sandwiches are always good. I like tuna fish sandwiches. It's easy to prepare and you could have a cup of soup with it.

Anyone make up a bunch of ham and cheese sandwiches to freeze? You can eat them cold once thawed or make grilled sandwiches. You could take a whole loaf of bread and make sammies then put back in the bread bag to freeze.

Buy individually frozen chicken breasts and you can do a million things with them. Coat them with flour, egg, bread crumbs then either cook in the oven or skillet. You could serve it with spaghetti sauce, alfredo sauce, vodka sauce or other sauces. You can cook up a pound of spaghetti, cook it a little under done. Rinse with cold water. Put individual portions into ziplock bags and toss with a little olive oil (teaspoon) to coat spaghetti. You should get 4-6 servings depending on what you like. Lay these baggies flat on a sheet pan and freeze. Once frozen you can stack them in the freezer and pull out as needed then add some kind of sauce or salt, pepper and parm cheese to have with the chicken.

Apple_Tango

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #30 on: January 07, 2019, 03:23:20 PM »
Can you cook a large meal together at home one day- something like a huge batch of chili, or a family size casserole. Then freeze portions. Then before you go to the pub, eat it. Then you will not be hungry. And just drink water at the pub and split an appetizer, since that will be much less expensive but will still give you something to munch on and sip.

seemsright

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #31 on: January 07, 2019, 04:07:32 PM »
Have a house party where you invite your friends over. Have each person bring over a bottle of wine that is $5 and under and have a tasting party. You provide the snacks.

I love craft beer. But I have to limit my brewery visits as they just do not fit into our goals in general.

You are going to have to figure out a way to have a social life that does not cost you $1000 a month. Is that you join a Meetup group, or have way more house parties. Maybe you join a gym. Something You are spending $12000 bucks a year for food and drinks...that is insane.

There is more to life than pissing away your $$$. Find bigger goals!

Rosy

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #32 on: January 08, 2019, 07:39:24 AM »
Facepunch! Kaa-pow!:) - You now have the distinction of receiving my first facepunch to anyone on this forum. You are ready for change and you know it.

Seriously, you received a ton of helpful suggestions - so if you are really ready to take control of your finances, have a talk with your GF.
Tell her you think it is time to limit your eating out so you can focus and contribute more to your financial future(s).
Having her onboard would be huge, but you need to be prepared to be the one to start and hang in there on your own until she sees that you are committed and may decide to join you for her own financial health.
Just be careful that you do not end up compensating for not going out to eat by going shopping or engage in other expensive activities - it happens:)

Think about the suggestions given here and how they fit into your own lifestyle - surely you noticed most of us prefaced our suggestion with "I used to":)
Pick a couple maneuvers and see what your GF thinks, but do let her know that this will be your new MO.

Your new normal might be to only go out once a week and if that happens to be for someone's birthday - well, that's it then for that week.
It will be tough in the beginning, but stay firm - it is your life, your rules and your financial future.
There is nothing wrong with telling a good friend that you are turning over a new leaf, because you feel you are spending money like water with absolutely nothing to show for it.

You have to start somewhere. In my case - I allowed myself one work lunch a week with my co-workers (often just a $5 sandwich and water - we had good free coffee at work, sometimes a lunch special at one of the surrounding restaurants) and every two weeks an evening out with the occasional get-together at my house.
It is indeed all those small decisions and your perseverance at acknowledging and honoring your own priorities that will over time bring financial joy - relief - security, in other words, FI.

For one whole year, my reply to my good friends was always, "Sorry, I can't, I'm saving up for a new car." To everyone else I just said - I'd love to, but ...maybe next time.
You know you will not get anywhere unless you take a stand, make a plan and save/invest - in truth - anytime or now is a very good time to start.
Get your priorities straight and do whatever it takes to get there - an evening out is not going to derail your plans, but continuous mindless spending will.

To reiterate in seemsright's words:
Quote
There is more to life than pissing away your $$$. Find bigger goals!

Linea_Norway

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #33 on: January 09, 2019, 05:40:39 AM »
I support the earlier mentioned idea of eating out only once a month, not in a not too fancy place.
« Last Edit: January 10, 2019, 01:22:12 PM by Linda_Norway »

haypug16

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #34 on: January 10, 2019, 08:33:27 AM »
One thing Mr Pug and I do is that whoever suggests going out to eat has to pay. This motivates me to not make the suggestion and he is also very frugal so we end up going out 1-2 times a month for dinner tops. We have also started trying to make the meals we enjoy going out for at home. Like Mr. Pug loves the Leonardo DiVeggie at Bruggers Bagels so I went to the grocery store and bought the ingredients and he's made himself a really great bagel sandwich at a fraction of the cost. My 2018 monthly average for dining out was $200 (just for me) so combined I assume we are at $400 which I think is face punch worthy as well but we keep trying to improve every month. My goal is to cut that in half this year.

Roadrunner53

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Re: Help me not spend $1000/mo on eating out
« Reply #35 on: January 10, 2019, 04:21:14 PM »
Why doesn't original poster make some comments?