Wow. $11000/month is a lot! FIRE in 7 years would require you to increase your savings rate by quite a bit. Not counting your house equity you have a little under 1M of stash. To get to FIRE in 7 years on your current income you'd need to get to a 50% savings rate which would mean your expenses have to reduce to approximately $7250 - which you then have to maintain during FIRE. Here's some suggestions to reduce spending:
All budgets are MONTHLY
Auto Related - Roughly $740
1. Car Insurance (Two cars, both paid off. Three drivers. 1. 2008 Lexus RX 350 2. 2012 Kia Optima Hybrid) - $148
2. Car Replacement Allowance Fund - $200
3. Car Wash/Tolls/Parking - $20
4. Excise Tax and Registration - $18
5. Gas - $200
6. Maintenance and Repairs (This might include one large repair bill of $1000 per year or so. Something always happens) - $150
Now I know nothing about cars, but do you really need 2 of them? You say your wife works from home 90% of the time. You only work 9 miles away. I've lived in MA before, so I know there's a fairly decent public transportation system - is there an option to get to work by public transit? Ebike would also be a good option. Also, let the aupair drive less. That's really too much gas that she's not paying for. Bills/Utilities - Roughly $480
1. Electric - $210 (includes heating (heat pumps) and a/c)
2. Firewood - $50 (roughly two cords of wood)
3. Heating Oil (for hot water and backup for heat pumps) - $140
4. Mobile Phone - $99 (Unlimited data because my work doesn't have WiFi)
5. Sewer - $35
6. TV/Internet Service (no cable. Internet service for $40 and $8 for Hulu) - $48
Try to cut down on the data, you can probably get a way cheaper package that still has a lot of data. See how much you're using in a month and check out prices on that amount. Also limit your data activities to low MB-activities. So no videos etc, but texting or reading websites is fine as it doesn't use much data.Entertainment - Roughly $175
1. Guests/Entertaining (This includes backyard bbqs, birthday parties for the kids, dinners if guests come over. Keep in mind that one party for kids might cost $400 or so with food and booze) - $75
2. Netflix - $11
3. Music/Spotify - $10
4. Special Occasions (Dinner for my wife's birthday, Valentines Day, my birthday, Anniversaries. One dinner might be $200) - $75
You're pretty good at splitting out expenses so individual categories don't seem that high! Both 1 and 4 are expenses covering birthdays and parties. Also these dinners are apparently NOT included in your food/dining category. BTW; You don't need annual $200 dinners. Keep those for the milestone birthdays and anniversaries. Get a cheaper dinner out or a super-fancy home cooked dinner for the others. Also, there's been enough said about the kid bday party. No more of that. Also, Spotify with commercials really isn't that bad. Youtube with an adblocker is a good alternative too.Food & Dining - Roughly $1,550
1. Coffee Shops (We make coffee at home everyday. We might buy a coffee once a week.) - $25
2. Groceries (Three adults including the Au Pair, Two boys under five) - $1,150
3. Liquor - $60 (I'm trying to cut back)
4. Restaurants (We order out once a week for three people, and might go out to a restaurant once a month) - $275
5. Work Lunch (I almost always bring lunch to work) - $20
Once a week coffee, once a week takeout, twice a month worklunch and once a month dining adds up! Cut in half, should be easy. Groceries are INSANE. Check out the Less $200/month grocery spend for family of 4 thread for inspiration.Gifting - $50
1. Gifts (kids birthdays, each others birthdays, friend's kid's birthdays) - $50
Really? Another line item for your bdays? Didn't you already spend 150/month on the dinners and parties related to those?? Home - Roughly $4,400
1. Furniture/Appliances allowance/replacement budget (This would mean $480 per year) - $40
2. Home Improvement allowance budget (My wife wants to continually upgrade our house. This would mean one $12,000 project per year) - $1,000
3. Home Maintenance Allowance Budget (Oil Boiler Maintenance, A/C Servicing, Roof replacement every 20 years, House Painting every 10 years or so) - $325
4. Home Supplies (TP, Papertowels, batteries, cleaning supplies) - $150
5. Lawn & Garden (One fall cleanup, a few bags of organic fertilizer. I do everything else myself) - $50
6. Mortgage (R/E Taxes and Insurance = $850, Mortgage payment = $2,000) = $2,850
7. Pest control Service (We live near a lot of woods) - $29
8. Snow Plowing (Huge Driveway) - $40
Try to slow down the home improvement. You expect your wife to be happy after a new kitchen, bathroom and patio, but after that she'll be tired of the living room, the bedroom or whatever other rooms you have in your house. I like the suggestion of doing this after the kids are in (free!) public school. Half the fund and do biannual rather than annual improvements. Home supplies are also insane. How on earth are you using that much toilet paper and paper towels?? Kids - Roughly $2,550 (This should drop down drastically after our youngest kid goes to Kindergarten and we no longer need an Au Pair or Pre-K)
1. Au Pair and Pre-K (roughly $1800 for AU Pair and $575 for Pre-K) - $2,375
2. Kids Activities (Soccer, Dancing, Taking them to Children's Museums, the Zoo etc) $75
3. Kids Supplies - (Diapers/Wipes/Clothing/Toys) - $100
Your kids are <5, why do they need so many activities? I mean.. they're apparently still in diapers so must be really young? In my hometown kids weren't even allowed to start "real" sports before the age of 6. You can play soccer in the parc and dance with your kids in the living room. If you don't have time, ask the au pair to play active games with them. Kids can play outside without it being an official activity, it's good for them.Personal Care - $110
1. Beauty/Grooming (Birchbox, Razor Heads, Shampoo, Soap, Lotions etc.) - $25
2. Dry Cleaning - $15
3. Hair Cuts (For my wife, me, two kids) - $50
4. Mani/Pedi (One every two or three months) - $20
Try out cutting your own hair. Mani/Pedi is unnecessary but for $20/month don't fight over it if your wife insists. Shampoo and soap don't have to cost $25/month. Shopping - $115
1. Clothing (For me and my wife) - $115
That's a lot considering it doesn't include the cost of your kids' clothes. Shop less, declutter and try thrift shopping.Travel - $425
1. Travel/Vacation (Flights, hotels, gas, food, etc. This would be $5,100 per year) - $425
Where are you flying 2x yearly? Any way you can cut this down to 1 flight and 1 roadtrip? Check out travel hacking to reduce flying and hotel costs.