Got fired from lucrative job I hated after I refinanced my debt? What to do?

[ebella]

Please bear with me, trying to informative:
Good news first:

• DINK couple, getting married and going on our honeymoon in the next month.  I'm not concerned about those costs.  They've either already been paid for (like the $1350 ring and $1000 dress) so I can't take them back or they are being paid for by our families (our $6000 ceremony and reception).
  My spouse to be earns $42k but gets sales-based commissions which can be around $1000 a month.
  I have $38,000 in an emergency fund.
  I have about $40,000 in a combo of employer 401k, Roth and IRA accounts (previous employer didn't have retirement plan and only option I had was to max IRA).
  I own our 1 bed, 1 bath condo which I bought last year. I was able to talk seller down from $278k to $257k and now owe $202k on it.  Mortgage (taxes, insurance and HOA incl are $1700)
  Own 1 car that's paid off, spouse unfortunately has to drive to work (that has been the topic of another post by me), I walk or bike because it's only 1.5 mi from home.
  Our monthly expenses are pretty low and I have not inflated them since doubling our household income.  We spend around $500 on food give or take (we eat out about half the time because we love food) but we are going to be tightening our belts from now on and cooking at home.
  Utilities have been high due to a very hot summer in the Southeast but they are around $200 for electric, water, internet.
  Phones are $35 each.
  We have Amazon and Netflix and pay for a CSA box (that's calculated in my grocery bill) and a compost service (we live in a condo and I car deeply about reducing trash).  I am a member of a local park and NPR.  Other than that we have no recurring expenses.

[li]
[/li][/list]
Now the bad:

• I was previously working for the government as an attorney, earning decent money but not 6 figures.  I talked myself into joining a firm where I make $150,000 because (1) I had $80,000 in student loan debt (2) no one was getting public service loan forgiveness and (3) it was the highest paid offer I got and seemed relatively secure.
  As I knew deep down going in, this place is not for me.  I won't go into details and out myself or firm.  I'll just say that after less than 6 months it became clear to me that I didn't feel like the type of work I was doing was worth the toll on society or me personally (I suffer from anxiety and depression and my symptoms were worsening).  It seems my bosses agreed because last week they said it wasn't a good fit and tried to make up reasons about me not working enough, my work product, etc.  Of course none of it is really borne out by the facts because I suspect that it's more a gut feeling that I don't fit in.  I'm the person who bikes to work and brings my lunch in reusable containers, whereas others drive SUV's and only use styrofoam.  There's people in between but I'm definitely pegged as a type.  Ultimately, they want people who will happily stay for the duration of their careers and I'm not, so it's for the best but the timing is shit.
  They are not telling people, including my peers at the firm that I was fired.  They will pay me for additional 60 days.  They will not give me a recommendation (they don't do that anyway). 

The issue/opportunity?

• I refinanced my federal student loans to private loans thereby slashing the interest rate from a 6.5%to a 3.1%.  In less than 6 months I got my loans down to $73,000 by paying at least $2000 to them and then any additional cash left over.  This means I can't really defer this if I'm unemployed. 
  I'm looking for other jobs; saying I am leaving this firm because of the work they're doing.  I still have stuff to wrap up here to keep the semblance of a job but I've been applying to jobs and reaching out for informational interviews every day this week/since I learned I was leaving.
  I'm not sure I want to stay in this city without this job.  I'm not sure I want to keep practicing law.  I always wanted to do public interest law or be on a political campaign and this might be a golden opportunity to recast this not as a career failure but as a necessary shift.  But there's the money thing.

As I see it we have 3 options:
1) Try to stay here and find a job in this market. 
2)  We could probably move back to a smaller market where my spouse is from and we lived before and work for half of what I do with a firm I know and like.  We'd both make less, cost of living would be similar.  But we moved for a reason; we were bored and felt limited by that. 
3) We could move to a bigger city where I have family and could live for free in property they own.  Jobs pay more but it's also a more competitive market (meaning it's hard to get jobs there when you're not there).
Both 2 and 3 would probably require selling the home.  The HOA has rental restrictions so we could only rent it if we got off very long waiting list or I tried to sell for 6 months.  That's obviously not ideal. 
We may be better off just trying to sell the condo immediately.  My initial realtor comp is that it could go for $280-$290k (nextdoor, larger unit is under contract for $300k).  I'm shopping around with realtors.  I hate them and would just as soon do for sale by owner but am worried it will be a big huge hassle.  If I could get this sale done at the lower end of that range, even with the typical 6% commission my debt could be paid off ASAP (with an additional 10k from my savings thrown in).  Of course, they say you should let a home appreciate for longer but we have no love for this place and my spouse's family has saved $100k for us to put down towards our next home if we want to.  This might be just the sort of freedom and reinvention we need.
I just need mustachians to walk me through it financially.[/list]

[ysette9]

Why do you need to rush into any dramatic moves like selling? It seems like you have some $ cushion, so I would take a couple of months and look for another job in earnest before making any big moves to uproot your lives.

[Cassie]

I would definitely take time and try to find a new job. Don't panic and make a rash decision.

[ebella]

Oh I'm certainly doing everything I can to find a new job, but I want it to be the right one and am wary of having a gap in my resume if I don't find one in next few weeks. Also wary of real estate mkt going forward. I think it would be great to pay off my debt though, and we don't love our apartment so I wouldn't mind selling it.

[former player]

I would check into whether there's a way back into a government job - in the UK there was a scheme for former civil servants in good standing to apply direct for vacancies at their old grade rather than starting through the whole application process.

It's difficult for us to walk through the finances with you when you haven't really given any detail.  Does the household income without your job cover your expenses?  If so, then this is not a financial emergency. 
 
Is the condo ready for sale or does it need work/staging?  What will you do for housing if you do sell the condo, rent somewhere until your job situation is settled?  I think you need to divorce the condo sale from any other questions, such as your job or location, unless this is a financial emergency that its sale will resolve.

[ZaraThustra]

Certain types of US fed employees enjoy a rehiring preference (e.g., most competitive service employees can apply for "Status candidate" positions posted on USA Jobs).  All the attorney (905 Series) gigs I know of are in the excepted service, and are subject to different rules. 

OP has stated in previous posts that they have a Fed judicial clerkship behind them, which is AMAZING.  That is a massive boost on a resume. 

I'd go with Option 1, wait and see what opens up.  In order to avoid a lapse on your resume, maybe you could do pro bono work through the state or local bar as soon as is feasible.  See if friends need any legal help.  Contact your local Social Services people and see if they need lawyers to serve in child assistance / placement cases.  Add that to your resume as being a self-employed, sole practitioner for however long your job hunt takes.  I've been part of hiring panels where applicants did the same, and no one had any issue with it. Makes it look like you just wanted to explore hanging out a shingle for a bit after burning out from big firm life.  Extremely common, and understandable.   

Then, as a fall back, Option 3.  Good luck! Sorry about your job loss.

[ebella]

OP has stated in previous posts that they have a Fed judicial clerkship behind them, which is AMAZING.  That is a massive boost on a resume. 

I'd go with Option 1, wait and see what opens up.  In order to avoid a lapse on your resume, maybe you could do pro bono work through the state or local bar as soon as is feasible.  See if friends need any legal help.  Contact your local Social Services people and see if they need lawyers to serve in child assistance / placement cases.  Add that to your resume as being a self-employed, sole practitioner for however long your job hunt takes.  I've been part of hiring panels where applicants did the same, and no one had any issue with it. Makes it look like you just wanted to explore hanging out a shingle for a bit after burning out from big firm life.  Extremely common, and understandable.   

Yeah this is my situation and what I'm doing.  I am considering political campaign work and have reached out to my contacts there and at local non-profits.  That's where my heart has always been.
I think the larger issue is husband would prefer to move to the larger market (for him professionally and in terms of where we'd live). If we did that we could pay off my student debt, mortgage, and live rent free or reduced rent (I'd just pay my family whatever covers HOA and their mortgage, which is an asset that I'll inherit eventually).
I just feel like the student debt has been an albatross because I have (consciously or not) based my career decisions around it that are the exact opposite of why I acquired the debt to begin with.

[ebella]

It's difficult for us to walk through the finances with you when you haven't really given any detail.  Does the household income without your job cover your expenses?  If so, then this is not a financial emergency. 
 
Is the condo ready for sale or does it need work/staging?  What will you do for housing if you do sell the condo, rent somewhere until your job situation is settled?  I think you need to divorce the condo sale from any other questions, such as your job or location, unless this is a financial emergency that its sale will resolve.

I can pare down my monthly expenses to $2700 as follows:
$1000 student loan
$1300 mortgage/taxes
$250 food
$35 for phone
$100 for utilities
$300 for therapy and medication on husbands health insurance (I could skip this but it's not a good idea given my history of anxiety)
0 transport (husband uses and pays for car, I usually bike or walk and have a $15 uber credit every month that has already been paid for)

I could continue like this tapping into my $38,000 savings (assuming no medical emergencies, new clothes etc) for a year. 

As to the home: there are no major repairs needed.  It's ready to show if we just tidy it up.  We bought it less than a year ago, all appliances are new and functioning, and we repainted walls and added some nice cosmetic features (paint, blinds, ceiling fan).  I think given the prelim comps, here's a good chance we could make a $60k profit on it and then I could sink that into my debt even after the broker fees and mortgage was paid off. 

The issue is not about financial emergency, it's about us not being being totally happy in our city/home and selling it being a way to potentially free us.  The last thing I want if I'm unemployed/underemployed when economy recedes and be saddled with a place I can't rent or sell and don't particularly love.  And I can't rent this unless I've already tried to sell it for 6 months and the offers are under its appraised value.

I'm trying to find a way to use this as a chance to reverse course instead of stay complacent on a career and lifestyle path that is determined by my debt and financial fear.

[Captain FIRE]

STOP, take a deep breath.  Take another.
WAIT to make any major decisions such as selling/moving until you've had time to think them over and reflect. 

- Look into what unemployment benefits are you eligible for
- Trim your expenses as much as possible
- Calculate how much your expenses are.  Calculate how much you'll have coming in from your spouse's job/your unemployment/severance.  See where there is a gap and how much, if any.  You said you didn't double expenses with the job bump, so hopefully this amount is small.  How long can your emergency fund carry you?
- Depending on the gap, can you get a part-time job that won't affect your unemployment benefits much?
- Put a local (family) address on your resume if you are worried about the out of area places not being interested in you.
- Cutting your interest rate on your debt is great, even if it means you can't defer right now.  You don't need to pay this off right away, and in fact, I encourage you to let this ride.  That gives you more flexibility rather than locking your funds up and I imagine this rate is better than your mortgage rate.

[GoCubsGo]

Not sure if she would get unemployment if fired for cause. 

If you could pull $60k in equity AND move to a subsidized lower cost property with more than likely better job prospects, I would totally go that route.  You don't have kids in school so this is the chance to pick up and move.  The condo equity alone would know out a big chunk of your debt (which will allow you to work somewhere you like with less money pressure).  It's a no brainer if your husband is on board and ready for an adventure.

[ebella]

Not fired for cause.  In fact, I think there may be some discrimination going on but I won't go into that.  So I would be eligible for unemployment. 
The moving thing is not necessarily money based, it's that I don't love my current home/location, and maybe this is a way I can pay off debt. 
I just need FI community to weigh in on the economics of paying my student debt (70k with variable rate hovers around 3-3.5%) and mortgage (202k with 4.8% fixed rate) off now rather than holding on to this capital.  If I get 60k from selling what will my taxes look like? 
I worry tremendously about a drop in real estate prices and a recession in the next year.  I'm especially worried given the political climate.  Is it financially sound to do this or am I being completely irrational because of anxiety?

[affordablehousing]

You've heard many times in the comments you are being irrationally anxious. Are you hypomanic? Take some time to calm down. Selling your apartment is a drastic unwise move. Crunchy attorneys are in-demand and you have just a tiny amount of debt at a low interest rate, with a spouse earning some minimal money, and a year's worth of emergency money. Political campaigns, going in-house at a large non-profit, working at a social enterprise VC, joining a start-up, these should all be on your radar. Big or greedy law sucks. You're on the right track and I think it was very smart timing to refi your loans, and if it saves you years of anguish pretending to fit into some crappy form for a paycheck, probably a good thing they cut the cord early to let you salvage your interests and remain true to what you find important to do.

Oh, and DO NOT STOP TAKING YOUR MEDS! That was the signal to me you're being irrational. If you have a known diagnosis and history of efficacy with a medication, don't stop taking it for budget reasons. That is plain crazy.

[bestname]

You are in really great shape for someone who just got laid off. Your fiancee's income covers most of your expenses and you have enough emergency money to carry you several months.

Try to relax and enjoy your wedding and this chance to reevaluate. Definitely file for unemployment, they might not even fight it (my nonprofit never fights unemployment claims, its usually cheaper and always less of a headache to just pay them).

In two years, this will probably look like the best thing that has ever happened to you.

[merula]

affordablehousing, I found your comments unkind, unhelpful and showing a poor understanding of mental health issues. Please review the forum rules.

OP, I think you should hold steady on all fronts and take baby steps. Weddings in general are huge stressors, so at the very least wait until that's behind you before taking any action other than looking for work or pro bono opportunities.

Congratulations, and best of luck.

[ebella]

I love an armchair psychologist as much as the next person, but, no, I have never been diagnosed as bipolar/hypomanic.  I have been diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety disorder.  I've had much more traumatic work environments before (with employers that were later successfully sued by my coworkers who were subjected to similar treatment) that did not end well, so this just fits into the larger anxiety and depression-inducing mental narrative that I have no professional value. So this is very triggering for me because I got this debt to do good in the world and, so far, I haven't done that and get feedback from amoral employers (that I work for to pay off my debt) that I'm worthless.  All I really want to do is pay off this debt so I can stop being in this vicious cycle. 
And no, I am not considering going off medication.  I mentioned it as one of my monthly expenses and said I would not go off of it.
I'm not asking for career advice or for people to understand whatever emotional/mental stuff I'm going through, although I appreciate that.  I just want to know if people think it makes sense to sell an asset I don't like (that may depreciate/real estate prices are dropping off in my area as there;s a lot of new builds providing more supply) to rid myself of all my debts (which are a huge source of stress and limitation for me). 
 

[Scotland2016]

I just want to know if people think it makes sense to sell an asset I don't like (that may depreciate/real estate prices are dropping off in my area as there;s a lot of new builds providing more supply) to rid myself of all my debts (which are a huge source of stress and limitation for me). 
 

Recovering lawyer here. Bought my house in 2011, sold it in 2015 and made more than enough to pay off my student loans. It was totally worth it. Once the loans were gone, I felt less pressure to work in the legal field. Freedom!

[merula]

I just want to know if people think it makes sense to sell an asset I don't like (that may depreciate/real estate prices are dropping off in my area as there;s a lot of new builds providing more supply) to rid myself of all my debts (which are a huge source of stress and limitation for me). 

I definitely hear you, and when you phrase it like that it sounds like an obvious answer would be yes.

I know that I'm prone to "OK, let's do something to fix this right now" whenever I'm faced with a problem, and to be honest, it rarely works out well for me. Inevitably those actions are rash and ill-advised. None of us have all the details or perspective that you have, though, and only you can make this call.

If I were in your shoes, I would decide that I would not make a decision on this until after the wedding. I would set a date to start thinking about the decision, jot some notes about things to consider, and set a deadline for when I'll have made the decision. And then I'd do my best to let it go and focus on other stuff. Taking some concrete steps would do a bit to assuage the "must act now!" urge, though it'd be hard to completely stop thinking about it.

It seems that you have very little to lose by waiting a bit on this, and I think taking some time will lead to a better decision.

[Goldielocks]

Getting rid of assets (condo) and being debt free is always an option.  A bit of a nuclear option, but it won't go away.

Just find another lawyer job, where you live now, government or not, and pay off the student loans as soon as possible. 
I, personally, would optimize taking a job with high salary for 2 years, with the goal of paying off debt and then changing careers.   2 years is pretty short, easy to endure, ... it's the 10+ years that really suck.

Then, with paid off loans,  take a look around and check the pulse of the real estate and job markets, and together with your spouse, make long term goals and dreams happen.  Shake it up.

You are going to be just fine.


-----------
Being fired / laid off really sucks.   I have been there.  Once for poor cultural fit that was set up as a "reorg" lay off, and another time for pure business math / finance reasons.   Still sucks and threw me for a loop for a couple of months each time.   If you need time to feel confident about yourself before actively interviewing, take it because desparation / job loss anst does not sell in an interview.

[LWYRUP]

I work in the DC suburbs as a lawyer and can't imagine people at... 95%+ of the firms here firing someone for not using styrofoam and driving an SUV.   Even if they themselves did that, they would either be impressed at your dedication (without wanting to change their life) or at a least not really care one way or another.

I know it's only an example, but either you live in somewhere with a very specific culture or you are overstating what is going on. 

[Cassie]

Is it cheaper to rent then pay your mortgage?  Through the years my husband has been laid off numerous times because his profession was cyclical. It was stressful when he was the major breadwinner. We made sure to have savings and never considered selling our home. But if it's cheaper to rent then it may be a no brainer. Having general anxiety really sucks and medication helped me so much when I developed it age 50.  I don't think I would have been able to keep working without medication. You are under lots of stress too with the wedding.  Hugs:))

[ebella]

I work in the DC suburbs as a lawyer and can't imagine people at... 95%+ of the firms here firing someone for not using styrofoam and driving an SUV.   Even if they themselves did that, they would either be impressed at your dedication (without wanting to change their life) or at a least not really care one way or another.

I know it's only an example, but either you live in somewhere with a very specific culture or you are overstating what is going on. 

I work in the DC suburbs as a lawyer and can't imagine people at... 95%+ of the firms here firing someone for not using styrofoam and driving an SUV.   Even if they themselves did that, they would either be impressed at your dedication (without wanting to change their life) or at a least not really care one way or another.

I know it's only an example, but either you live in somewhere with a very specific culture or you are overstating what is going on.

I don't want to get to into specifics of work culture since that's not the point of the post.  It's a boutique and I did not fit in long term. I thought I could make it work until I paid off debt but it's not and so I'm just trying to weigh financial options that don't involve accepting highest paying jobs so I can pay off debts that I incurred to do public service work.

[amrf]

It sounds to me that you are leaning toward selling the condo you don't like so that you can pay off your debts. I actually think it is a good choice since the condo and the debts have caused you lots of mental stress. Have a conversation with your partner and seek his support; think about the freedom and opportunities ahead! It will probably be cheaper to rent than own now until you find your ideal home.

[Linea_Norway]

It sounds to me that you are leaning toward selling the condo you don't like so that you can pay off your debts. I actually think it is a good choice since the condo and the debts have caused you lots of mental stress. Have a conversation with your partner and seek his support; think about the freedom and opportunities ahead! It will probably be cheaper to rent than own now until you find your ideal home.

I totally agree. Living in a home you don't like and being afraid of a home bubble bursting any time, is causing stress. Selling it makes you much more flexible to think about your future options Just don't forget that selling a home also has a cost, as does moving to a new home. But maybe when moving into a rental, there is not much to invest.

[ebella]

Is it cheaper to rent then pay your mortgage?  Through the years my husband has been laid off numerous times because his profession was cyclical. It was stressful when he was the major breadwinner. We made sure to have savings and never considered selling our home. But if it's cheaper to rent then it may be a no brainer. Having general anxiety really sucks and medication helped me so much when I developed it age 50.  I don't think I would have been able to keep working without medication. You are under lots of stress too with the wedding.  Hugs:))

Well we wouldn't be renting per se, we'd be living in a family apartment (that goes to me in a will) and paying the mortgage and HOA and utilities.  So we're still getting equity in a sense.  And we aren't tied to a lease.

My anxiety is through the roof right now.  Thanks for the good vibes:)

[ebella]

I totally agree. Living in a home you don't like and being afraid of a home bubble bursting any time, is causing stress. Selling it makes you much more flexible to think about your future options Just don't forget that selling a home also has a cost, as does moving to a new home. But maybe when moving into a rental, there is not much to invest.
[/quote]

Yea I'm trying to gauge capital gains tax, since we've been there for less than a year.  Does anyone have a good calculator or inof on that?  I may be able to claim an exemption if I'm unemployed.

[merula]

The full details on the real estate capital gains tax is here: https://www.irs.gov/publications/p523

You probably qualify under this section:

Unforeseeable Events
You meet the standard requirements if any of the following events occurred during the time you owned and lived in the home you sold.

Your home was destroyed or condemned.
Your home suffered a casualty loss because of a natural or man-made disaster or an act of terrorism. (It doesn’t matter whether the loss is deductible on your tax return.)
You, your spouse, a co-owner of the home, or anyone else for whom the home was his or her residence:
Died;
Became divorced or legally separated;
Gave birth to two or more children from the same pregnancy;
Became eligible for unemployment compensation;
Became unable, because of a change in employment status, to pay basic living expenses for the household (including expenses for food, clothing, housing, medication, transportation, taxes, court-ordered payments, and expenses reasonably necessary for making an income).

But given that this is rare enough that it's probably not supported by tax software, you'll probably want to talk to an accountant or tax attorney to confirm.

[Captain FIRE]

Be careful to distinguish the decision of selling your home from paying off your non-mortgage debt.  If you pay off your student loan debt with the home equity, yes, you will be out from the monthly SL payments, but you'll have also lost a substantial amount of flexibility with having a fat emergency fund while you possibly move/job hunt/etc.  Given the low rate of your student loans, I still can't agree that paying them off is a wise financial decision, even if you are stressed by money right now.  (Selling your home can be a reasonable decision if you are certain you do not want to keep the place/want to move.)

[A3 Life]

Ebella, I can relate to your story as I recently quit a big law job. Several of my colleagues were also laid off during my tenure.

The first thing to remember is that it’s completely normal to be laid off (or quit) big law. In fact, a friend of mine (who works at a different firm) told me that his firm expects a 50% drop out rate per year on a 7 year partnership track. They hire 32 attorneys and expect to lay off or burn out 31 of them! So, first and foremost, remember that your situation is actually the norm and that the vast majority of people who are laid off or quit big law go on to thrive.

Second, I not sure having a gap in you resume is as problematic as you think it will be. My plan is to take as much time as I need to address my reasons for leaving. Indeed, I think it’s far worse to immediately jump to another job which isn’t a good fit and than to burn out or get laid off again (I know people who have done this). In my opinion (as confirmed by in-house law firm recruiters ~ the ones who hire associates, not the annoying ones who mass email associates) it’s much easier to explain a 6 month gap than two consecutive 6 month jobs.

Third, I’ve seen the stress of law school, federal clerkships, and especially big law cause people to burn out and become depressed. I think this is especially common for the high achieving (sometime perfectionists) who tend to end up in these high stress jobs. Obviously I’m a lawyer, not a physiologist, but if I was feeling burnt out, depressed, or anxious, I would seriously consider how much of these feelings could be attributed working in a high stress environment for years on end without taking a vacation. These days, it’s not uncommon for people to burn out or experience depression in their first jobs (I’ve seen this happen many times). This is a problem with the jobs (and American workaholic culture), not with the people. Almost all of the people I know who burned out, experienced depression, and sometimes got laid off, fully recovered after leaving big law.

If I was in your situation, my top concern would be that the home could pressure me to pick up a less than ideal job in a less than ideal location right away. I might consider selling just to have flexibility and peace of mine while determining my next move.

[freya]

OP, thanks for posting and laying out all these personal details...that must not have been easy.

My suggestion is not to make any major decisions right now.  You are dealing with some major shifts in your life as it is.  Between the cash cushion, unemployment benefits, and your finance's income & medical insurance, you are in a solid financial position and have no reason to do anything in the immediate future.

Get married, enjoy your honeymoon, take a breather, apply for unemployment benefits, and keep up the local job hunt.  When applying for those benefits, just tell them you were laid off and give them no information that's not absolutely necessary.  And, congratulate yourself on getting married and having the foresight to build up that cash savings and refinance your student loans!

After that, you and your fiance can talk about where you'd like to live.  We can't give you advice on that, it has to be a joint decision between you.  Don't pressure your fiance because of the convenient home in that faraway city.  Once that decision is made, your path to finding another job & home will get much clearer.

A possibly useful tip:  if renting the condo would be helpful, you can negotiate with the HOA board.  Just tell them you were laid off and that you need to rent it temporarily.  They will very likely prefer that to the prospect of having you not pay your HOA dues, and boards often make exceptions in these cases.

[ebella]

Ebella, I can relate to your story as I recently quit a big law job. Several of my colleagues were also laid off during my tenure.

The first thing to remember is that it’s completely normal to be laid off (or quit) big law. In fact, a friend of mine (who works at a different firm) told me that his firm expects a 50% drop out rate per year on a 7 year partnership track. They hire 32 attorneys and expect to lay off or burn out 31 of them! So, first and foremost, remember that your situation is actually the norm and that the vast majority of people who are laid off or quit big law go on to thrive.

Second, I not sure having a gap in you resume is as problematic as you think it will be. My plan is to take as much time as I need to address my reasons for leaving. Indeed, I think it’s far worse to immediately jump to another job which isn’t a good fit and than to burn out or get laid off again (I know people who have done this). In my opinion (as confirmed by in-house law firm recruiters ~ the ones who hire associates, not the annoying ones who mass email associates) it’s much easier to explain a 6 month gap than two consecutive 6 month jobs.

Third, I’ve seen the stress of law school, federal clerkships, and especially big law cause people to burn out and become depressed. I think this is especially common for the high achieving (sometime perfectionists) who tend to end up in these high stress jobs. Obviously I’m a lawyer, not a physiologist, but if I was feeling burnt out, depressed, or anxious, I would seriously consider how much of these feelings could be attributed working in a high stress environment for years on end without taking a vacation. These days, it’s not uncommon for people to burn out or experience depression in their first jobs (I’ve seen this happen many times). This is a problem with the jobs (and American workaholic culture), not with the people. Almost all of the people I know who burned out, experienced depression, and sometimes got laid off, fully recovered after leaving big law.

If I was in your situation, my top concern would be that the home could pressure me to pick up a less than ideal job in a less than ideal location right away. I might consider selling just to have flexibility and peace of mine while determining my next move.

Thank you so much for this thoughtful response.  My firm wasn't Big Law, but it was started by BigLaw people as a boutique and essentially functions like BigLaw.  I honestly am glad I don't have to keep working there.  But I do feel inadequate because I haven't found a legal job that I don't hate.  I am trying right now to figure out if I even want to continue practicing law because it's just been so hard for me to do the types of work (ie. non-profit) that I actually care about.  I'm probably just going to work on political campaigns or something for now because the world feels like it's on fire and it feels absurd to be stressing about billable hour requirements. 

[Omy]

I'm not an accountant so don't quote me, but I don't think you will owe much (if anything) in capital gains tax. If you sell for $280k, you get to subtract out closing costs to calculate net proceeds. If you have closing costs of $20k, your net will be $260k for the IRS calculation. You then subtract your stepped up basis. That is your purchase price PLUS improvements you made. If your stepped up basis is $258k (assuming $1k in improvements), you would only pay capital gains tax on your $2000 gain ($260k-$258k).

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Dee18]

I would sell and pay off the loan.  Being out of debt significantly reduced my anxiety. 

[freya]

I'm not an accountant so don't quote me, but I don't think you will owe much (if anything) in capital gains tax. If you sell for $280k, you get to subtract out closing costs to calculate net proceeds. If you have closing costs of $20k, your net will be $260k for the IRS calculation. You then subtract your stepped up basis. That is your purchase price PLUS improvements you made. If your stepped up basis is $258k (assuming $1k in improvements), you would only pay capital gains tax on your $2000 gain ($260k-$258k).

What are you talking about?????

There is a tax-free exclusion of $250K for an individual on the PROFIT from sale of a primary home.  The profit here will be much less than that.  No tax owed at all.

We haven't heard back from OP who is hopefully off getting married and enjoying life, but given that moving costs are nontrivial, they should probably decide where they'd like to live next before selling.

[Omy]

They haven't lived there 2 years...don't you need to be there 2 out of the last 5 years to qualify for the exclusion? And yes...there would be little to no capital gains as I mentioned in my post.

[FIREby35]

Hey Ebella -

I find your thread interesting. I feel like I have a lot to say, but I've don't know what would be useful for you to hear. I walked away from Big Law, Medium Law, associating with other solos in a firm with 13 attorneys and have been running my own practice for the last five years. I represent immigrants, Spanish speakers and the injured. We oppose crazy federal government agencies, insurance companies and corporate lawyers. I make plenty of money, control my schedule and generally don't hate the law. Although, working against the people you worked with isn't easy either. Those people are still worried about the wrong things (billable hours and their paycheck over everything) and so they do the wrong things. To escape that cycle took a clear vision of everyone around me. I think you are definitely dealing with the hall of mirrors that is the practice of law.

To your central question, I think you are totally reasonable if you decide to take steps to destroy your student debt. It is holding you back from beginning your journey. Being debt free from school was a huge catalyst for my career.

Good luck.

[FIREby35]

Oh yeah, don't worry about what the "Big Law" types think about you or your career. "Big Law" people are living in a fish bowl and don't even know what is going on outside of it. There are plenty of lawyers (and judges) who do not esteem big law attorneys. Those people will be happy to help you and will give you a knowing glance when you start telling how awful it was.

[ebella]

We haven't heard back from OP who is hopefully off getting married and enjoying life, but given that moving costs are nontrivial, they should probably decide where they'd like to live next before selling.

Definitely got married and enjoying life.  We'd only move to DC where we could live in another (fully furnished) apartment.  As a result, we'd have some moving costs but they'd be minimal since we'd sell most of our larger furniture items and likely just get a small truck and drive it. 

SO doesn;t want to move this year.  He gets a bonus in January so we want to wait till that.  At any rate, selling between Thanksgiving and Christmas may be tricky.  I'm thinking of waiting till January to list it.  Does that seem to make more sense?

[ebella]

Hey Ebella -

I find your thread interesting. I feel like I have a lot to say, but I've don't know what would be useful for you to hear. I walked away from Big Law, Medium Law, associating with other solos in a firm with 13 attorneys and have been running my own practice for the last five years. I represent immigrants, Spanish speakers and the injured. We oppose crazy federal government agencies, insurance companies and corporate lawyers. I make plenty of money, control my schedule and generally don't hate the law. Although, working against the people you worked with isn't easy either. Those people are still worried about the wrong things (billable hours and their paycheck over everything) and so they do the wrong things. To escape that cycle took a clear vision of everyone around me. I think you are definitely dealing with the hall of mirrors that is the practice of law.

To your central question, I think you are totally reasonable if you decide to take steps to destroy your student debt. It is holding you back from beginning your journey. Being debt free from school was a huge catalyst for my career.

Good luck.

Thanks so much for this insight.  It really helps to talk to happy lawyers.  I've been focusing my job search on just reaching out to every lawyer I know who seems genuinely happy. I think it's very easy to get into the mindset of "I need a law firm salary so I can pay off debt" but the toll on your health and integrity can be huge and not worth it.  Unlike the people I work with, I don't need or want a fancy car or a resort vacation or a single family house in a good school district.  I've had more money than ever with this job and it hasn't made me any happier or my life any easier, except that I started paying people to clean my house and deliver my groceries because I felt too busy to do it myself.  Luckily I didn't inflate my lifestyle in any major ways and have stopped doing both of these things and found that I actually enjoy cleaning my own house and buying my own groceries.

[freya]

We haven't heard back from OP who is hopefully off getting married and enjoying life, but given that moving costs are nontrivial, they should probably decide where they'd like to live next before selling.

Definitely got married and enjoying life.  We'd only move to DC where we could live in another (fully furnished) apartment.  As a result, we'd have some moving costs but they'd be minimal since we'd sell most of our larger furniture items and likely just get a small truck and drive it. 

SO doesn;t want to move this year.  He gets a bonus in January so we want to wait till that.  At any rate, selling between Thanksgiving and Christmas may be tricky.  I'm thinking of waiting till January to list it.  Does that seem to make more sense?

Congrats on getting married!

Beware, fully furnished apartments are typically very expensive and generally only worthwhile if you expect to be there only a short time.

Re selling, talk to a real estate agent, preferably one who handles sales in your condo.  The best time to put a home on the market is probably around April but it may be different in your area.  You don't want it sitting on the market more than a month or so...once that happens people assume there's something wrong with the property and interest goes way down.  When I sold my apartment we timed it carefully and immediately got a bidding war that jumped the price ~10% over the ask.  Also, you might consider whether waiting until the 2 year mark to sell would be worthwhile, to avoid capital gains tax.

[ebella]

Beware, fully furnished apartments are typically very expensive and generally only worthwhile if you expect to be there only a short time.

Re selling, talk to a real estate agent, preferably one who handles sales in your condo.  The best time to put a home on the market is probably around April but it may be different in your area.  You don't want it sitting on the market more than a month or so...once that happens people assume there's something wrong with the property and interest goes way down.  When I sold my apartment we timed it carefully and immediately got a bidding war that jumped the price ~10% over the ask.  Also, you might consider whether waiting until the 2 year mark to sell would be worthwhile, to avoid capital gains tax.
[/quote]

Yea, the apartment we would move into in DC is actually my Dad's, so expense would not be an issue.  If necessary, we could live rent free for a bit (paying utilities etc). But I've offered to pay his HOA and mortgage, which is equivalent to what I pay now for my apartment and would go towards equity on an asset that is willed to me anyway. So it's a win/win for everyone.

I am going to reach out to an agent who sold my neighboring unit which closed this week.  Timing really is everything.

[FIREedUpCS]

Hi, just some random thoughts:

• Are you working with someone regularly to help with your mental wellness? Please prioritize this, and as you make positive progress, you will feel better and better.
• Can you get your old govt job back? Is that in the same location you are in now?
• Your emergency fund seems really high... would you use some of that to pay off your student loan debt?

If this were me, I would try to reduce as many variables as possible. Selling a condo, getting married, job hunting, paying debt etc... that's a lot. Prioritize what you need immediately, which sounds like a new career and paying off debt. Lean on family and friends right now for support. Don't dwell on it - but if you are honest with yourself about what happened with this job, how can you learn from that and approach things different next time?

In the long-term, can you set a goal to get out of law and into an area you feel more strongly about when you are on a little better financial footing and clarity? You are in the thick of the noise now and its difficult to do that. Having that goal to work towards could help.

[ebella]

Hi, just some random thoughts:

• Are you working with someone regularly to help with your mental wellness? Please prioritize this, and as you make positive progress, you will feel better and better.
• Can you get your old govt job back? Is that in the same location you are in now?
• Your emergency fund seems really high... would you use some of that to pay off your student loan debt?

If this were me, I would try to reduce as many variables as possible. Selling a condo, getting married, job hunting, paying debt etc... that's a lot. Prioritize what you need immediately, which sounds like a new career and paying off debt. Lean on family and friends right now for support. Don't dwell on it - but if you are honest with yourself about what happened with this job, how can you learn from that and approach things different next time?

In the long-term, can you set a goal to get out of law and into an area you feel more strongly about when you are on a little better financial footing and clarity? You are in the thick of the noise now and its difficult to do that. Having that goal to work towards could help.

1) yes, I am working on mental health. It's going really well. I'm very calm.
2) no, it was a term position. I left at end of my term. I could apply for another one but I really won't get anything out of it except a paycheck and lack of resume gap. That mentality is what made me take the job I was just fired from and that's been my main problem; I take the first offer even if I don't like it.
3) I can use savings to pay student debt but it won't even tackle half. I plan to use it to pay the debt in next month or so and living expenses until I get a job.  If I sold condo I could pay it all off.

The marriage has happened, it's not a big adjustment. The condo sake would be a relief, honestly. My husband and I don't want to stay here long term and things are selling well in the building.

[Dee18]

If you end up wanting a furnished place in DC, check out Sabbatical Homes, where professors list their apartments/homes.  Sometimes they want someone to care for a pet or plants, but usually they just want a tenant for 3-12 months.  The rents are usually below market a bit, much lower than corporate furnished apartments.

[Daisyedwards800]

I've seen you post this several times about how you are going to inherit the home so don't mind paying the mortgage.  NEVER EVER rely on getting an inheritance.

[robartsd]

I would check into whether there's a way back into a government job - in the UK there was a scheme for former civil servants in good standing to apply direct for vacancies at their old grade rather than starting through the whole application process.

I agree that government reinstatement can be a good option. My mom quit her state government job to become a stay at home mom. About 30 years later my parents divorced and she needed to return to the workforce. She was able to reinstate at her previous grade. Shortly after that grade started to be phased out, so her office set up an opportunity to take the classes needed to move up during extended lunch hours. She had cashed out her prior contributions to the retirement system, but was given the opportunity to buy back the credits.

[Lady Stash]

As I see it we have 3 options:
...
3) We could move to a bigger city where I have family and could live for free in property they own.

Option 3 feels like a lot of fun to me.  You said the small town felt a bit constraining and your current location doesn't feel ideal either.  If you have an option to try a bigger city I'd totally go for it.  If you can live cheaply in a city you may be able to save a *ton* very quickly.  But that may just be me thinking about what *I* would choose.  You could always explore some jobs in larger cities - worst case you get a free trip out of it.  On the other hand, moving is a major life stressor and you've already had two huge stressors: job loss + getting married.   I would give yourself a ton of grace and compassion during this time.  And try to just relax and enjoy the time off, the wedding etc.  There are a ton of wonderful possibilities in front of you.

[ebella]

[/quote]

I would check into whether there's a way back into a government job - in the UK there was a scheme for former civil servants in good standing to apply direct for vacancies at their old grade rather than starting through the whole application process.

I agree that government reinstatement can be a good option. My mom quit her state government job to become a stay at home mom. About 30 years later my parents divorced and she needed to return to the workforce. She was able to reinstate at her previous grade. Shortly after that grade started to be phased out, so her office set up an opportunity to take the classes needed to move up during extended lunch hours. She had cashed out her prior contributions to the retirement system, but was given the opportunity to buy back the credits.

As I said in previous responses, there is no reinstatement.  I had a term position, like a residency or fellowship but for a lawyer. 

[Gin1984]

I moved three times now for my husband.  Each of those times has taken me about 6 months to find a job.  No employer has minded.  Just find a good place to land and stay there for a bit.

[robartsd]

Gaps less than a year are generally overlooked, as you wouldn't lose significant skills in that time frame and it is not uncommon to have to spend a bit of time to find a new job. I'd probably look for jobs under both option 1 and option 3 and see which yields the best opportunity.