46, burned out at work, when can and should i retire

[Accountant]

Age 46, wife 45, 1 child 14
Assets
Combined 401k = 810k
Cash = 150k
529 fund = 110k
Own house free and clear value 350k
Own both autos free and clear, 2016 and 2019 subaru outback
No debt

Income - me 131k annually, 6500 after tax per month, wife 106k annually, 4400 after tax per month - she has a higher 401k and HSA
401k contribution  8pct, company match 6pct; wife 16pct, company match 4pct

Budget - what it is now, can come down per month
Utilities/house alarm = 250
Cable/internet = 250
Groceries = 1,200
Misc= 1,200
Gym = 120
Life ins = 50
Donations = 100
Car insurance = 250
Homeowners ins/ prop tax = 600

In addition to our investments, my wife has a defined benefit pension she is fully vested in that she can take as early as 55.  I want to say the montly benefit is 1800 at this point.

I am burned out at work, she is not.  While I appreciate the sacrafices we have made to build up our savings, i am wondering when is enough for me.  I worry i wont have enough money for my sons college or something will happen and i will regret changing life.  I dont want to retire as much as do contract work in my field.  Imcan afford it but it is hard to think about letting go of the salary.  When is enough enough?  I am not getting younger and would love more feeedom.

[habanero]

Reality check number one: Out of the ~11.000 bucks the two of you net in pay per month, do you save roughly 7000 dollars combined per month on average? If not, then you are missing something from your budget.

If your savings are lower, than your actual spending is higher.

[Accountant]

I generally save 6k per month the last couple of year

[Accountant]

I left cell phone off in error, 150 per month.  I think realistically my expenses would be 4k per month in the short run, but my son will be driving age in 2 years so there is that.  My cash balance has increased the past couple of years due to the monthly surplus.

[HeadedWest2029]

A lot of missing data, but...
Spending $48k a year with $960k saved for retirement means you are at a roughly 5% withdrawal rate.  A 75/25 stock / bond portfolio over a 40 year retirement would give you a 69% success rate historically if you both quit cold turkey right now.  Having said that, you have a lot in cash, so if you pulled the plug now the cash drag would most likely lower the success rate unless you had a plan to invest this over time.  $1.2 million is what you need for a 4% WR, which many advocate for on the forums (me personally, I want to be at 3.5% WR or lower, but to each their own). 
Take a look at this from Big ERN's safe withdrawal rate series https://i0.wp.com/earlyretirementnow.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/swr-part1-table1.png?resize=764%2C500&ssl=1

You can get much better data though by plugging in all relevant data into one of the many popular calculators like cFiresim, including the deferred benefit which will increase your likelihood of success.  You could also plug in numbers for estimated social security for a more accurate picture.  But I'd say you're pretty close when you factor in the monthly benefit, especially if your significant other keeps working. 

[maizefolk]

Is your wife looking to retire as well or only you? If you're spending $5,000/month sounds like the two of you could live entirely on her salary if she reduced retirement savings,* let alone if you are still bringing in contract work and/or are able to reduce your spending with more time to focus on doing the non-work stuff in life efficiently. So your $810k in 401ks would continue to grow and compound until she turned 55 and could take a pension that would likely cover a big chunk of both of your total spending with the balance topped off by withdrawing a proportion of your joint 401ks.

*Provided she'd be okay with this arrangement, some couples are and some are not. Communicate early and often.

[Accountant]

Just me.  She has no intention of retiring anytime soon.

[maizefolk]

In that case I'd say your numbers are in excellent shape.

[lhamo]

You should be fine, but you might want to look at cutting expenses significantly.

We are a family of four, two teens, one in college/living near campus but comes home once or twice a week for food and laundry and we have been buying extra food for him while shopping is a hassle.

House alarm not necessary if you are at home most of the time.  You can start Simply Safe up any time for $15/month if you do need it for travel.

Cable/internet is way high.  We pay $60/month for high speed cable internet + about $20 for Netflix/Hulu

Groceries are way high for 3 people.  We spend about $800 with lots of splurges.

Misc is way high -- what are you buying?

Gym is expensive -- ours is $30/person (LA Fitness)

Check your social security survivor benefits for dependent kids/surviving spouse -- with no mortgage you probably don't need life insurance any more, though you might want to keep it if you have any health issues.

Car insurance seems very high.  Your rates will probably drop significantly if you aren't commuting anymore-- check with your provider.

I'd say you probably can easily cut $500-1000/month off current spending if you are willing to make a few changes/comparison shop/do more stuff that doesn't cost money for fun.

[Gronnie]

Car insurance seems very high. We pay about $100 for comp, collision, $500k liability, rental and roadside assistance coverage, the works on two vehicles. We recently moved to MN from CA, and our rates in CA were similar so it isn't just the part of the country we live in. I would definitely shop that around.

[Accountant]

Thanks for the replies.  I agree on the expenses - they are high and i have earmarked potential savings.  The car insurance is high because i live in Louisiana, which has high rates due to lacknof tort reform.  There are no significant savings there as i actually get a discount for having multi line with my homeowners.

[Sanitary Stache]

"When can and should I retire"  is the question.  Your numbers mean you can be financially independent right now.  If you haven't yet, try reading Your Money or Your Life.  Cutting some expenses isn't just going to save you money, it is going to help you realize how to spend your money on what you think is actually valuable.

With stong budgeting skills we have found that, even without significant savings, we can adjust to lower and varying income pretty comfortably.  Based on what you posted you do not have strong budgeting skills, though if you are an accountant you probably can get up to speed relatively quickly, just don't leave yiour wife out of the budgeting process. 

It seems like you might view your job as a sacraficing your time to do something you do not enjoy in order to save more money and your wife may not.  Your wife is probably who you should be talking to about how much savings is enough and how you can adjust the way to reach that savings.  Hopefully, she will support you finding a job that is at least as rewarding for you as hers is for her.   

I just went through leaving a job that wasn't right for me.  It took me 5 months to figure it out, but I am much happier now.  I had my wife's support the whole way and she frequently comments that she can tell I enjoy my work much more now than before.  My first step, beyond all the help I got from this forum through journaling, was career coaching, then having an honest conversation with my manager.  Covid forced my transition which made the transformation of my own perspective, relatively painless.

Good Luck! 

[habanero]

You have probably thought of it, but in long-term budgeting/COL-assumptions there is a tendency to forget large one-offs that might occur infrequently, but they can be large when they happen. Especially if one owns an (old) house. Or replacing cars. Or whatever. Some of these expenses can be kept reasonably low (like switching to a cheap car, have only one car instead of two or no car). Often maintenance, gas and insurance are listed as car-related expenses, but at some point the cars themselves will have to be replaced. Yours are quite new and should hopefully last a long time, however. House repairs can be quite costly and I think most people (including myself) underestimate the long-term maintenance costs just because they might not have occured the last few years and thus are not a part of the regular stream of expenses. Children is another story, especially if one doesn't have any yet but plan to have is something that significantly can affect both the income and expense sides of the equation.

[Accountant]

Once again, thank you for all of the great replies.  It comes down to this - i have not been very good, relatively, at managing my budget because i didnt have to.  When you can say yes to any reasonable purchase and still sock 5k in cash away on top of our 401ks it has a way of convincing you that you are good with money.  With that being said it seems like it comes down to financial flexibility vs life flexibility at some point. 

Good point about the big one off expenses.  I have 20k fund for home repair and 10k car replacement now that is not included in my 150k cash.  True cash is north of 180k.