FWIW, you remind me of my DH - likes the idea of FIRE, but makes good money and wants to enjoy it and buy nice things that suit his perceived success, even though that desire conflicts with the first goal; and, of course, you know you have a spouse who will also be making good money, which takes some of the pressure off. You are also in a similar situation in terms of a significant chunk of your income being in your bonus -- which, again feels like another safety net. So there's just no sense of urgency to save more.
So if you do decide you want to commit to this, I would recommend rejiggering how you think about your finances. Specifically: adjust your budget so that ALL of your basic expenses AND the savings necessary to hit your FIRE target come out of your take-home pay. That means cutting back on some of the extras (vacations, dining out, hair/makeup/manicures) to create $1-2k/mo. in savings. And then, if you get a bonus, you can save part and then allocate part to some of the fun extras, like vacations and fancy dinners out.
This is both practical and psychological. From a practical perspective, you want to set your "normal" budget -- the budget your everyday life is based on -- based on your guaranteed income. That way you know you are ok even if the company has a down year. And psychologically, that approach helps you re-cast the fancy dinners and trips and such as "extras" that come out of "found" money, not as a normal, expected part of everyday life. Plus I find it helps to make the paychecks feel tight, because I hate seeing my bank account drop month to month.
Finally, I am going to challenge you on the food. Not the special dinners out - the meaningless Panera and the like. Because I do this too. But the core principle of Mustachianism is to focus your spending on things that matter, that improve your life -- not on things that just enable being fat and lazy. There is a difference in my mind between "OMG, I am totally craving that Portuguese/Peruvian chicken" and "oh, crap, it's 6, we gotta eat, let's go out." I have found myself sitting at many a "fast casual" place and thinking, wow, this is mediocre, I am spending money on something that is bringing me no value at all, other than flat-out laziness. And that is just stupid -- doesn't matter how much you have, how much you need, you are wasting it on shit that is bad for you on multiple levels. So come up with some "oh crap it's 6" alternatives -- grilled cheese, tuna or egg salad, a big salad with some grilled chicken, chili that you keep in the freezer, whatever. It doesn't even need to be a "real" meal - if you are going out because you need to put food in your body, just put some damn food in your body for free!
I am very serious that you need to get this under control now, because the longer you stick with this habit, the more it becomes an expectation, and the harder it is to break. I have about 20 years of marriage on you, and two additional mouths to make happy, and I have spent most of those years doing exactly what you are doing - because, hey, we can afford it, and it's easy, and life is stressful, and [insert whine/complaint/justification here]. And now that I have realized how stupid it is, I am surrounded by three other people who see it as their God-given right to eat out all. the. time. - just for the sheer entertainment value of getting out of the house. You really, really want to build healthier habits now, before you have years of history pulling you down and additional people you have managed to spoil into that lazy and spendy expectation.