Hello all, I'm in a pickle.
I'm currently in the Kansas City area and have found an opportunity in Casper, Wyoming that would provide a 15% pay increase.
Actually, when you include the tax savings in the state (Kansas/Missouri state tax and the KC, MO 1% "earnings" tax) it's more like a 20% pay increase.
And if you factor in property tax savings (from what I gather, it would be 50% of what I'm paying now for a similar sized home) and sales tax (Wyoming has no sales tax on groceries), the savings add up even further.
I've tried explaining this to DW. Didn't really change anything.
I've tried explaining that, unless you want to spend money, there's not a lot to do around here. I mean, we can go for a walk or ride a bike but we're going through suburbs, on a basically flat surface. Nothing much interesting to see, IMO. Nothing.
I've explained that the job is paying relocation expenses. Nothing.
I've explained that Wyoming offers a great scholarship program for its kids who do well in school. Nothing.
While stopping there for dinner on our way back from her dads (Montana) this summer, she remarked about how much she liked the town and how everyone she came across was polite and friendly. I mentioned that she had said this a few weeks ago. Nothing.
To be fair, I believe it was just to placate me. I've mentioned before that I would like to move to Montana or Colorado before and had actually showed her a similar position for me open in Missoula but she wasn't interested. I'm guessing she thought it was close to impossible to find a decent paying job for me in Casper so that lead to the comment.
She has also said in the past that she would like to live in a smaller town. Now, being an engineer that isn't the easiest thing to manage. About the only other towns in the state I can get a job in we wouldn't want to move to anyway. Casper is about as small as I could get.
She happens to be a teacher and I know she would have to get a teaching license for Wyoming. That being said, she mentioned she would not want to move in the middle of a school year. I haven't told her but I wouldn't mind that actually as she could be applying for her Wyoming teacher license and for positions while she finished out her current year here. In fact, I researched the school district and they have a SPED junior high position open that she would qualify for if she had a license. Their pay looks slightly lower on average but most of that would be made up in the lack of state income tax. I've also researched schools (actually because she said she thought she heard Kansas has one of the best teaching and teacher retirement programs in the country, it doesn't on either front) and found that Wyoming is actually pretty impressive in most categories (pay is when you adjust for COL).
So I asked her why she was against it, what was wrong with the scenario I presented.
Two things:
1) She just absolutely loves Kansas
That's just something I won't understand. Don't get me wrong, the people are alright. All that "Kansas is bigoted" stuff you may hear is mostly just hot air. However, the state is being run into the ground by it's politicians. I've tried pointing out that they treat teachers like crap and it's only getting worse. Instead of trying to attract talented teachers, they are testing a pilot program to allow non-licensed individuals to apply for teaching positions. She believes the line that it's for positions like shop or tech classes so an actual professional can teach a course. I believe that it's a path toward having teachers compete with non-teachers so they can drive down their salaries.
I've also tried to understand what it is about the state itself she loves. Apparently it's because it's in the center of the country and we could go anywhere. I ask her why she would want to live in a place with nothing to do for 50 weeks just to have the opportunity to spend a week or two where there's something to do. Why not live in a place like that where you can walk out your door and take a hike or go mountain biking or go fish by a river or try rock climbing, etc. Beyond that, it's the 21st century. Getting places is pretty easy, it's not like we need to prep the covered wagon.
I also pointed out that when we have people over all they want to do is visit wineries and/or breweries (she's not a teetotaler but she's not a fan of alcohol). When there's not much to do, people start heading toward booze.
I've also asked her to consider the state/local taxes we pay and if that money gets put to enough use that she considers it worth the cost. About the only loss I can see from services would be road clearing in the winter.
2) We're trying to have kids. She wants her mom around while she's pregnant and having her kids.
Her mom is 2.5 hours away. I can understand this reasoning to a point. Not trying to sound bitter but her mom has been pretty wrapped up in herself for the last few years (personally, I don't like the way she or her sister was treated during this time but that's really up to the three of them to work through). She's become better but I still won't hold my breath for her to be around that much to help her through everything. Beyond that, she's mentioned that she wouldn't mind moving further away either.
That being said, we're currently 2 days from her dad and 3 from her Grandma. Moving to Casper would put us within 1 day of her dad, 1 day of her mom/sister, 1 day of my parents/sister, and 2 days of her Grandma.
This is probably way more information than I needed to provide but part of this is venting and part of it is explaining everything I've tried explaining already. I just cannot understand the lack of desire to fulfill so many of her check boxes on the type of place she'd like to live in. Plus, it would lead to more money in our pockets (ahem, accounts) to help us get to FI that much quicker.
Has anyone been through this from either side? I've been told to drop the logic aspect of the discussion and get to the feelings side, which lead to the wanting mom around discussion. Again, I get her point there but history tells me she won't be getting what she wants.
Does anyone have any other advice for how they were able to talk a loved one into a step like this?
Is Casper just a shit hole and I should just let the job go?