I think everyone struggles with this decision at some point, no matter where they end up. So you are not at all alone. A few questions for you to consider:
- Where are you in terms of SS credits -- if you drop out of work, have you been working long enough to claim SS (or married long enough to claim half of your wife's)? What is the effect on your projected payout if you quit now?
- Is re-building your business an option, through marketing, visiting people, etc.? I personally know my business drops off when I am engaged in other things, and it's a slow ramp back.
- How long would quitting push back your FIRE date and any other goals? Have you done the math?
- What about keeping the older in daycare for a while so you guys can adjust to the arrival of #2? (congrats, btw!). Again speaking from personal experience, daycare was a savior at that particular point in time.
- What do you want to do? If both decisions had the same financial impact, what choice would you make? How does the actual financial difference between the two choices affect your thinking?
- What does your wife want? How would your decision to quit affect her own plans to work, go part-time, quit, etc.?
- Which option may be the most difficult to reverse if it doesn't go the way you want?
I'm sure there are a thousand other questions. But really, this is a question for you and your wife -- and isn't it great to have those options, even if they drive you nuts while figuring them out?