Which path would you take? I wonder how hard I can pull before the strong breaks?
ChpBstd, 18 years ago I sat in the cold and the dark and I thought "This is stupid". Mother nature and dropped 2.5 inches of freezing rain on our heads, and all of the power lines were down. Some areas did not get power back for 2 weeks: ours came on after 3 days.
The results were that I became a prepper, and my husband did not. Not then, anyways. Well it is a myth that married people need to agree on all of the important things, though some disagreements take more work than others. I agreed to stay on a budget, and he agreed that since I was running the house that I could do what I thought was important, as long as I stayed within a budget.
So I have money and he has money, and he does what he wishes with his "allowance" and I prep with mine, and NEITHER of us can criticize what the other does with their money. I highly recommend this approach: your wife earns half of the money if she works, she makes it possible for you to earn more and spend less if she doe not work outside the home, AND SHE SHOULD HAVE HALF THE SAY AS TO HOW IT IS SPENT!
I recommend that you give your wife a separate checking account, no questions asked as to what she does with it. She works hard, and she does not have to agree with you on everything. If possible, ^YOU^ take over the household bank account.
You are also going to start cooking more, using frugal recipes. Such as using loss leader meats to make inexpensive meals. I did this to save "prepping" money. Basically, most stores will mark down some meat to below what they paid for it, to encourage people to shop at their stores. So, if hamburger is on sale for $3.50 a pound, you use it for spaghetti with some Ragu you ALSO bought on sale. That should get you a dinner for $6 for the entire meal. And your wife will be good with it because you are going to say "I want to cook spaghetti tonight". It is hard to argue with "I want to do work".
I have a small pantry with 99 cent cake mixes, $1.50 jars of Ragu, and other things so that I can cook for very little. And, while your wife might not want loss-leader meats, you can buy them yourself as you are buying for when you cook. And, it will save money if you cook often.
Part of your income is due to your wife's efforts. If I were you, I would compromise on this one. Budget in her spending money, and if she wants to spend it on 3 different black purses that would be her own business. My own husband bought a seldom used telescope, a seldom used case of photography equipment, etc. That is not my business. He bought that and I bought what I thought was important.
I am also the one who puts money in the savings account. I no longer budget money for prepping, as the prepping now pays for itself and also turns a profit for the household. The pantry saves me quite a bit, and it is a small pantry. It fits in one closet with room to spare for the slow cooker and such (there are also many inexpensive slow cooker recipes)