We are a childless couple who need to update our estate plan. Between us, we have several siblings and step-siblings along with, literally, dozens of neices and nephews. As I'm sure is common in most families, we are closer to some than others. There are some who face considerable hardship and others who are set for life. We are debating the merits of leaving unequal amounts, including leaving some out entirely against treating every one the same and leaving an equal share to everyone who fits our definition of family. The latter would mean that money we earned would go to support things we abhor or partly offset an old tax obligation - things we would not pay for while living.
We have experience with a great aunt who left over 80 of us each 1% of her estate and the rest to charity. And another relative who left generous, but unequal amounts according to need. The second one, perpetuated a rift among siblings that never healed and it is not something we'd want to cause.
How would you approach?