Yes, they suck a little bit, it's true! I have many stories about that, and am very reluctant to resume a relationship with any of the available companies. Alas, I am 10 months without home internet or phone, and a recent injury has left me bed bound for several weeks so I'm not able to navigate the absence as well as I (barely) could before.
Anyway, have called the neighbour with brand new construction, and she gave me the scoop. It was an electrician who ran the lines to the house, and I've now placed a call to him.
Thanks, guys! Just didn't think about the New Construction Neighbour before I chatted with y'all here.