My update
First, I would like to thank everyone for their input. it has been great advice.
We were able to secure a lower interest loan for $35K and used it to pay off the high interest consolidation loan and 3 of the credit cards (JC Penney, Amazon, and Discover. That also let us skip a payment from the consolidation loan ($1167), which we used to pay off the Lane Bryant and Best Buy cards and previous year IRS bill. The new loan is $746 a month vs $1167 and wiped out credit card payments/IRS of $540, saving us $961 a month.
We have cancelled all subscriptions to cable, entertainment budget and lowered our internet to $49.00 a month. savings $142 a month
As for the cars, our plan is to pay them down to the point of being able to sell them. At that time we will get cheaper cars that get good gas mileage.
Regarding our dental and vision insurance. The dental insurance pays 100% for 2 cleanings and X-rays per year for each family member. Everyone in the family wears contacts or glasses, our vision insurance pays for glasses every 12 months plus the annual exam. Rarely do we pay out of pocket for either of those unless someone gets a cavity. This past year my husband needed a crown which the insurance only pays 50% on.
I am taking a different route to work. Takes me about 15 minutes longer, but I avoid the tollway, saving $40 a month.
We switched electric companies and from what I can tell it should save us about $150 a month. We will see when I get the first bill in.
Groceries have been lowered to $100 a week, saving us $400 a month.
Picked up a used lawn mower for $25 - landscaping contract cancelled - savings $120 a month
Installed water saver shower heads, not letting water run, and we are only running the dishwasher when we have a full load, hoping to save on the water bill.
I am shopping for new car and homeowners insurance, hoping to cut those bills as well.
One of the student loans ($550) was for my oldest daughter. It was a parent plus loan and she is now paying that instead of us. - Savings $550 a month
So far our monthly expenses have been reduced by over 2K.
My husband and I had a heart to heart talk. I am a spender and previously he had nothing to do with the finances. it was all on my shoulders, which was a really bad idea. He had no clue as to how far in debt we are. I need someone to be accountable for. We have cancelled our credit card accounts with the exception of one Visa. It is locked up in a safe and given the key to my daughter who lives in another city. The debit card is only allowed to be used for fueling our vehicles. Everything else we pay for with cash. We spent yesterday cleaning out the garage and have a ton of stuff on craigslist to sell. Today I am cleaning out my office and kitchen. Selling everything we don't have to have. I read the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover book this week and we are gathering our $1000.00 mini emergency fund by selling things and not spending. I have done a debt snowball and from what I can see we should be completed debt free in less than 36 months by cutting back to the bare bones. No clothing, no gifts, no vacations or dining out. We are a united team on this and I believe that as a team we can make it.
Thank you for all of your input