Author Topic: Where do I even start?  (Read 4687 times)

jives5

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Where do I even start?
« on: August 08, 2014, 12:31:50 PM »
I am so tired of being broke! We have a family of 5, 2 college degrees, one and a half incomes and we cannot afford to even get out of bed. My husband and I have been married 11 years. I spent the first 8 or 9 handling the money from a budgeting and bill paying standpoint. We've always struggled to make ends meet, so it was pretty stressful. When he agreed to take over a couple years ago I handed it ALL over and put my head in the sand to recover. I know - it wasn't smart.

We have so much in bills each month that we can't afford to save. Every social invitation is a struggle. We can't afford to do dinner with friends or go to the ball game, etc. Between 3 kids we get invited to every birthday party we can possibly write on a calendar. We can't afford that stuff and so we have to wiggle out somehow! It stinks not to be able to do that kind of stuff, but our real problem is way more basic - like, oh crap, I'm out of contact solution. Yet another expense.

We have credit card bills - about $150 a month just minimums, we have a signature loan - I forget why we even have that - $200 a month, medical bills here and there because apparently the plan we chose was not a better deal that we thought and ended up costing us more for basic care (thankfully no major health issues) but we still owe the pediatrician like $500 alone!

And Ohhhh the student loans.  I am so MAD at our college-selves for being so dumb! Our payments are out of control and I don't think there is a thing we can do about it. We are getting hit with the full-fledged payments now and we are literally drowning. We've done the consolidation. We've done the deferments and the forebearance. We've done the income repayment plans. We have to pay Sallie Mae about $100 a month, AES $250 and Aspire $130. Until we die probably.

My husband works full time. I work part time (still have kids at home) and will be working more this fall while my youngest is in preschool. It's so disheartening to have to worry about dollar signs every moment of the day! We need a plan. I don't know how we're going to pay for what we owe already and my older kids are old enough (10 and 7) to want to be involved in things that we can't pay for! Where do we start?


Beric01

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Re: Where do I even start?
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2014, 12:34:55 PM »
Welcome to the forum!

I'd recommend you take a look at the how to write a case study topic so we can help you better.

MandyM

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Re: Where do I even start?
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2014, 12:41:56 PM »
Start here: http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/04/06/meet-mr-money-mustache/

And post a case study like Beric01 suggested. Be ready for harsh responses. You are well into "hair on fire emergency" level debt and you aren't going to dig out of it with niceties and pulled (face)punches.

Good luck.

DoubleDown

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Re: Where do I even start?
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2014, 12:43:23 PM »
Hi, and welcome.

Sorry to hear about your current struggles. You're certainly not alone in this kind of struggle, it's happening all over North America. The great news is, there is absolutely a way out. This article from Mr. Money Mustache will help!

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/04/18/news-flash-your-debt-is-an-emergency/

jives5

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Re: Where do I even start?
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2014, 12:45:04 PM »
Yeah, I get it. I'm ready for it. We totally deserve everything we've gotten because this is definitely a story of what we've done to ourselves and not a "poor me" situation. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction to start.

swick

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Re: Where do I even start?
« Reply #5 on: August 08, 2014, 12:47:21 PM »
Welcome to the forums! This is a great community and will have lots of good advice (and probably some tough love) for you.

Writing out your situation in a "case study" format will allow us to offer some feedback, but it is also instrumental in allowing you to see all the numbers in black and white and in one place. It makes it easier to go forward once you are sure what you are facing.

Gone Fishing

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Re: Where do I even start?
« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2014, 12:48:33 PM »
What's the general consensus on bankruptcy for someone with negative net worth due to tons of unsecured debt?

JoyBlogette

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Re: Where do I even start?
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2014, 12:51:50 PM »
Hi, and welcome!  We are here to help.  Without knowing your details it is hard to give good suggestions (please post a case study - you will find it so helpful, even just to gather the numbers). 
However, if you are looking for an easy way to start without getting overwhelmed, this is what I recommend:
1. Call to cancel your cable TV and change your cell phone plans - find out if there are any penalties - you can post this info in your case study
2. Call your home/auto insurance provider and ask for a better rate (for bonus points get a few other quotes) - you may have to wait for renewal for this to come into effect, but call now.
3. Write up a case study and post it here in the forums.  We will help you.  You CAN do this.

swick

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Re: Where do I even start?
« Reply #8 on: August 08, 2014, 12:54:58 PM »
What's the general consensus on bankruptcy for someone with negative net worth due to tons of unsecured debt?

Without full details of the situation and numbers, speaking in any kind of generalities would be dangerous.  OP, if bankruptcy is an option for you, and it very well might be, don't consider taking $ out of a 401K to pay off the debt - it is safe from bankruptcy proceedings.