Thanks everyone for your input. Much appreciated! The consensus seems to be that I need to chill out, which hurts a little but is helpful nonetheless. To answer a couple of questions:
1. I definitely concur with those who have said the bigger issue is that Hubs needs a new job. That is in the works but he is in a highly specialized field, and new job at his level probably means either starting his own company or relocation.
2. Hubs is on board with the early retirement goal, but just generally pays less attention to our finances (this was a joint decision made years ago, as I enjoy finance and he does not. Thus I am the designated "Master of Coin").
3. Overall, I would not describe him as spendy apart from restaurants and some rather benign impulse buying (darn that Teavana salesman).
While the restaurant lunches are currently the biggest unnecessary expense, I am mostly curious as to whether others had experience tackling such issues with a spouse who makes significantly more money.
I have had this experience with my now ex wife, but it sounds like your situation isn't as extreme as ours was. Not only was her income over twice mine, but she also spent money on things like insisting we go out to dinner 4-5 times/week, vacationing exclusively at luxury resorts, regular massages, purchasing designer clothing, etc. On top of that, early on, when we both made similar (low) incomes, we racked up tens of thousands in debt due to those habits. As her income moved well into the six figures, she refused to pay off that debt, but instead only increased spending because "she worked hard."
In our case, we simply married too young and I didn't realize how important our fundamentally different views on consumerism would turn out to be. I constantly resented her overspending and she constantly resented my indifference to luxury and relatively low ambition/refusal to work in a more lucrative field.
All of that said, I can offer that similar to helping a spouse get in better shape, modeling good behavior did work better than arguing for her to change her ways. The "fun money" system also somewhat reduced friction, although I had to allow for a significantly higher budget on her end. Still, when she saw how much I was sacrificing relative to her (she couldn't comprehend how I contently saved most of the $150/month I had in fun money versus the $700 she blew through), she actually did tone things down a little. When I constantly declined to buy unnecessary crap every time we were shopping or on vacation, I think she felt embarrassed to do so herself. Obviously, it still didn't end well, but I figured I would offer the anecdote, fwiw.
The lunches out is a hard one. I totally understand your frustration. I lived it for years. But if he's otherwise pretty good and your relationship is healthy, you may have to let that one go. Sooner or later, he'll get better. For a less negative example, my dad used to be quite spendy, but after years of my mom sticking to her minimalism and modeling the happiness she gained from having less stuff, their marriage is better than ever and he's actually even more frugal than she is.