You all have given me some things to think about. My definition of "friend" is someone you could call to help move a piece of furniture. I'm not sure if women would define friendship in this way, but it makes sense to me as a male.
I agree that working together on some type of challenging activity or learning something together sounds like a good way to connect with others. I guess I'll have to spend some time thinking about what I might actually enjoy.
I joined a running group earlier this year, but hurt my foot and had to quit. I also had to take a break from my favorite hobby (golf) due to an elbow injury. The injuries have been pretty frustrating as it seems like my hobbies AND my opportunities for socializing were taken away from me. Some of you have mentioned that you really only get together with friends during your shared activities (like group runs or fitness classes), and I just haven't been healthy enough to participate in these types of activities for the last 3 months or so. I guess it's a good thing that I'm more of a loner than most folks. This would really suck for someone who felt the need to constantly be around others.
1. I was one of the people who said that. I fall into the "middle of the road" as far as introverted/ extroverted goes. I need my quiet and me time, but I also like people.
2. I don't feel the need to constantly be around others. But here's the deal (for me). I am female, yes. I am an engineer. I work with men. I have no friends at work. I am the only woman in my office. The others have all left - it's been about 4-5 years since I've had a friend at work. I don't hate my coworkers - they are fine. Sometimes annoying (I mean, they are engineers), but they aren't my FRIENDS. So being AT WORK, though I have an officemate and chat with coworkers occasionally - can be really isolating. Better than working at home, but not by much.
Thus, since I don't really get positive social connections from 9 to 6 every day, I have crafted my life to get them elsewhere. I am really into exercise - so that means running groups, weightlifting classes, swimming laps. Sunday is my DAY to walk with my bestie, and it's non-negotiable. There's a fun running training group I'd like to try, but it's on Sundays. She cannot run, so it isn't happening.
Likewise, my neighborhood has a potluck every week. I joined it 7 years ago (ish), and it is non-negotiable. These people are the people I'd call to move a couch, take my kids to school, etc.
There were 3 weeks this fall when my husband was traveling, my running sucked because there were no groups and I had an injury, and my gym had permanently closed down. So...I was stuck working full time and doing ALLLLL the kid stuff, running hurt, and I got no social interaction whatsoever. I had work, and no gym time (though I did lift weights at home). The gym with the pool was closed for maintenance for one of those weeks. I WAS A HOT MESS.
I've thought about swimming. It's something I already know I enjoy. The two things holding me back are that I'd have to join a gym and it's not really an activity where I would expect to meet anyone. I do think it would be great from a fitness perspective, though. I could use some exercise, and I think maybe it would help me to sleep better.
Depends on when you go. The old guys at the gym in the morning are very friendly, and we are all kinda worried when someone disappears for weeks on end. They go to lunch together, and look out for one another if someone has surgery, etc. Part of this is the 15 minutes we all spend waiting for the gym to open at 5:30 am. I don't participate as much because of my busy life.