My father took off when I was 15, and I put myself through college and graduate school without any help from any family whatsoever.
While I was struggling to put myself through college, my father's brother, my Uncle Joe, cheated me out of my small share of minor proceeds from a family farm in a most cold-hearted and manipulative way. Fifteen years later, this farm was sold, and the proceeds split equally amongst 10 heirs, including me and Uncle Joe. A few months later, I get a call call out of the blue from Uncle Joe, with whom I had not talked in years. He unloaded a tale of woe and asked if I could lend him $3,000 so that his (adult) son (whom I hadn't seen since we were children) could put a down payment on a trailer. By this point I was a college professor, married to a doctor. I sure could have given Uncle Joe $3,000--after all, my share of the proceeds from the farm sale were safely tucked away. I called another uncle for advice. "Honey," he said. "I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but I am gonna tell you that Joe's never been able to hang onto a dollar. And every couple of years he shows up at my house in a new car asking to borrow money and he's never paid back a dime. That's all I'm gonna tell you, honey. How you doing, anyway, sweetheart? How's that nice husband of yours?"
That made it a lot easier to call Uncle Joe and tell him no, sorry, can't do it.
By the way, I recently googled my cousin whom I did not assist with the trailer downpayment. He was arrested in a meth bust last fall.
So, honey, I'm not gonna tell you what to do, but.....
