Author Topic: What the hell is Sweetest Day?  (Read 13587 times)

eil

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What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« on: October 16, 2014, 04:26:05 PM »
I love my wife and I try to do right by her but every year this Sweetest Day thing comes up. And every year I'm like, "What's that? Man, I must have gotten really plastered last night, I thought it was still October. Oh. It is? Then what on earth are you talking about?" So far I've been able to avoid it by rightfully claiming ignorance until it was too late to do anything about it. But this year she had the foresight to mention it to me literally in passing as I'm on my way out the door to go to work. It is less than 48 hours away now.

Did some Wikipedia'ing on the topic (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweetest_Day) and apparently this is one of those Hallmark Holidays and the only reason anyone even knows about it around here is because of a big-shot candy company in the region. It's not even a thing in other parts of the country. I didn't grow up that far from here and I didn't hear about it until adulthood, but my wife grew up near this area.

I'm not sure what to do because I don't necessarily want to set the precedent for a gift or something because I'm a dumb male primate and will be more likely to forget to do something every following year. So some questions for the moustachioed hive mind:

Do you celebrate Sweetest Day?

If so, what is different about it from Valentine's Day?

Do you give gifts?

If so, do you give gifts to a romantic partner, close friend, family members, or all of the above?

Am I the only one who thinks life would be so much saner if we wiped away all of the various gift-giving holidays (including xmas) and just celebrated people and how much they mean to you on their birthday instead? Instead of repeatedly... constantly... every month or so throughout the year?

arebelspy

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2014, 04:28:15 PM »
Celebrating mindless consumer days for merely the sake that you're told they exist is not something that appeals to me, or my wife.

Spontaneous acts of love are great.

Preprogrammed meaningless gestures because you're "supposed to"... not so much.
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RunHappy

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2014, 04:31:27 PM »
You must live in the MidWest.  It started as a commercial campaign by candy makers designed to make people spend money.

It is pretty much Valentines Day in the fall.

Edit:  To celebrate it (and your wife) in the purest Sweetest Day fashion, go to a local confectioner and buy a box of their handmade candy.  You're celebrating the day, giving a gift, and supporting a local business.
« Last Edit: October 16, 2014, 04:42:00 PM by RunHappy »

Sylly

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2014, 04:32:23 PM »
I have never heard of this until now. Considering I (and spouse) don't even really celebrate Valentine's day, I don't think we'd celebrate Sweetest Day even if we knew about it (well.. I know now, but I'm going to pretend I don't).

Edit to add:

To make this post more useful to OP -- Since your wife seems to care and expect something, can you just make your wife a nice, special dinner at home?
« Last Edit: October 16, 2014, 04:34:42 PM by Sylly »

thedayisbrave

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2014, 04:38:59 PM »
Never heard of this in my life.  Have you asked your wife what she wants to do? Given she mentioned it she probably does want to celebrate the occasion but perhaps she'd be okay with doing something relatively low-key & easy on the wallet.  I've never been one for days set aside for inherent consumerism.

trailrated

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #5 on: October 16, 2014, 04:42:00 PM »
This reminded me someone asked if I wanted them to pick me up a grandparents day card for my grandmother and I started laughing cause I thought it was a joke. I send my grandmother flowers for mothers day and take her out to dinner about once a month so I opted out of a "grandparents day" card and gift.

MikeBear

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2014, 04:48:01 PM »
It's a scam to get you to spend money. However, you're screwed already if she actually mentioned it to you. How much is marriage peace worth to you?

Do what I do, get a single, long-stemmed rose at a florist, and give that to her and tell her you love her. If you want to go all out, also get her a very small sampler box of candy. All told you'll just spend less than $10, and you won't have to hear for the next 30 years about how you didn't do it "when all the other husbands do!".

P.S. Google has a calendar, and you can set it to send you an email a couple days before something like this happens. Works really well for people like me that can't remember this crap.

greenmimama

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #7 on: October 16, 2014, 04:54:50 PM »
Since it is important to her, then yes I would get something for her, like PP said, it doesn't have to be big, my DH knows to make me feel really loved, he picks up a pint of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia, or a chocolate pudding from a local restaurant that I love, a total of $5.

I specifically asked him never to buy me roses for Valentines. They are stored for forever and last hardly a few days and cost twice the normal price at least, play I don't even care for roses.

Anyway more info than you asked for, but it's important to her, then it is important to you :)

DecD

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #8 on: October 16, 2014, 05:01:00 PM »
I have never heard of sweetest day. Sounds like nonsense to me. 

Eta: however, I do love Christmas, so maybe "to each her own" applies here.  You can find something special to do for your wife for free/ inexpensive if its important to her but you don't want to spend money.  Make a cheesy card, get a big Hershey bar, give her a smoochy kiss.
« Last Edit: October 16, 2014, 05:04:12 PM by DecD »

gimp

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #9 on: October 16, 2014, 05:14:13 PM »
Never heard of it until just now. Will drink aggressively tonight to forget having heard about it.

trailrated

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #10 on: October 16, 2014, 05:27:13 PM »
Never heard of it until just now. Will drink aggressively tonight to forget having heard about it.

Cheers!

Caoineag

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #11 on: October 16, 2014, 05:30:25 PM »
I have heard of it but most people who know me know that I don't often care for actual gift holidays. That said, I can get away with this because I will give people random gifts throughout the year so its not like I am neglecting my relationships.

Do you romance your wife randomly throughout the year or only on the gift giving holidays? I find that even romantics let the holidays slide if they know that they will receive random romantic gifts (not necessarily ones that cost a lot of money, thoughtful counts) throughout the year.

One of my husband's more thoughtful gifts was hiding I love you messages around the house for me to find. I found the final one about a year later.

If you are not that type, I recommend learning to set calendar reminders and give gifts on holidays. Romantics require semi-regular validation (says the INTJ with a romantic/feelings based best friend who I regularly appease throughout the year). Hint, if your wife is reminding you of holidays, it means that she wants validation which means you probably should set your calendar reminders.

Eric

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #12 on: October 16, 2014, 05:32:52 PM »
I'm thinking pearl necklace.  Just make sure to drink a lot of pineapple juice for the next day or two.

Spork

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #13 on: October 16, 2014, 05:37:25 PM »
I'm thinking pearl necklace.  Just make sure to drink a lot of pineapple juice for the next day or two.

I believe you're thinking of March 14.

sol

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #14 on: October 16, 2014, 05:39:37 PM »
I suggest you celebrate by taking a big pile of paper money and lighting it on fire in front of her.  Tell her that if she's going to waste your money anyway, you'd rather she keep warm than get fat.  Maybe next year she'll get the hint.

I pity people who have attached themselves to people who only experience love through the disposition of liquid assets to acquire meaningless clutter, unhealthy foods, or dead plants.  Surely there is a better way to express and receive affection.

sheepstache

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #15 on: October 16, 2014, 05:56:00 PM »
Damn, there was an excuse to eat candy and I missed it?

Oh wait, that's okay, I eat candy every day.

I like the idea mentioned of using google calendar and just doing something. You could always bake a cake or brownies or buy some candybars and wrap them up cutely. Just avoid a pre-packaged holiday-specific thing, that's what'll get you reamed and your wife probably wouldn't even like it as much (the pre-packaged thing, not the reaming. you guys.)

This reminded me someone asked if I wanted them to pick me up a grandparents day card for my grandmother and I started laughing cause I thought it was a joke. I send my grandmother flowers for mothers day and take her out to dinner about once a month so I opted out of a "grandparents day" card and gift.

Good, the day and the cards are intended for people who ignore their grandparents the rest of the year, I think.

They are also doing Thanksgiving cards now. Because you need cards. For Thanksgiving.

I've also heard they're trying to make a 30 Cards for 30 Days of Ramadan happen.

lizzzi

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #16 on: October 16, 2014, 06:03:40 PM »
I vaguely remember hearing about it--it may have been something my parents did. But I've never celebrated it or received or given cards or gifts. I don't even know when it is. I tend not to celebrate or observe manufactured holidays that line the pockets of Hallmark or whatever. Having said that, since it seems to mean something to OP's wife, it wouldn't hurt for him to do some inexpensive, nice thing. I don't know…a cute card (home-made?) with some chocolate. Or maybe he could say why not celebrate it together and do something they both would like--maybe make or buy a special dessert for after supper.

arebelspy

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #17 on: October 16, 2014, 06:25:48 PM »
I suggest you celebrate by taking a big pile of paper money and lighting it on fire in front of her.  Tell her that if she's going to waste your money anyway, you'd rather she keep warm than get fat.  Maybe next year she'll get the hint.

I pity people who have attached themselves to people who only experience love through the disposition of liquid assets to acquire meaningless clutter, unhealthy foods, or dead plants.  Surely there is a better way to express and receive affection.

You should read The Five Love Languages.  Then you may understand them a little more, rather than pitying them.

For some people it is a legitimate expression of love.

I don't think I'd personally be compatible with a person like that, but it doesn't mean I pity them.
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OSUBearCub

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #18 on: October 16, 2014, 06:31:19 PM »
Oy!  Such hate being thrown around about a day no one knew about until this post! :-)  I'm from Cleveland and I'm not ashamed to say we invented this holiday.  Please allow me to give you the inside scoop on Sweetest Day:

Yes, Clevelanders ALL know its origins and we celebrate the holiday anyway.  Most people like to think we are consistently spontaneous and loving but having an extra day each year to remind ourselves to do so is actually pretty helpful. 

The method of celebration is completely up to the couple.  My mom just cooks my dad his favorite dinner and calls it a day.  (She calls it a day Eric, nothing else happens after that. [shudder] ha ha)  My dad buys my mom a big pot of mums for the front deck. 

I will further assert that because we Ohioans know the marketing gimmick origins and because we're not generally mindless rubes, quite a lot of people go out of their way not to spend loads of money on the holiday.  Valentines Day is for show, Sweetest Day is for the smaller, more sentimental gestures and closeness.

[grammar mistake edited]

sol

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #19 on: October 16, 2014, 07:16:09 PM »
For some people it is a legitimate expression of love.

I'm familiar with colored parachutes, too.  I get that some people are wired that way, and they're not the ones I feel sorry for.  It's the people stuck in a relationship with those people that earn my pity. 

Equivalently, I feel bad for men who are married to women who only enjoy sex with strangers in gas station bathrooms.  I have no problem with sex in gas station bathrooms, I just really don't want to be married to someone like that.

I also reserve a very tactical kind of hatred for marketing executives who manipulate people's genuine feelings of affection for corporate profit.  Fuck those people.

SailAway

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #20 on: October 16, 2014, 07:46:35 PM »
No, we don't celebrate it but if she's mentioned it, get her a 99 cent card. It's the thought that counts, right?

JetBlast

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #21 on: October 16, 2014, 08:39:01 PM »
I only learned about this holiday's existence today. My wife and I were at Target stocking up on some non-perishables on sale with the cartwheel app. We walked past the cards and saw "sweetest day" and immediately turned to each other said in unison "what the hell is that?"

MikeBear

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #22 on: October 17, 2014, 12:25:23 AM »
You guys sure don't get out much, do you?

Except Sol that is. Apparently he got away from his keeper again...

Spartana

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #23 on: October 17, 2014, 12:52:43 AM »
Damn, there was an excuse to eat candy and I missed it?

 
My first thought too :-)! Never heard of it myself (sounds very cornbally) but hey, a day to show your love and eat chocolate is always a good day IMHO. Ex-Hubby and I had a BIG rule about Valentines days and most holidays and that was "lets not "do" them". I am very uncomfortable with the fuss surrounding all of it - kind of awkward and embarrassing and sort of forced. Blech.  Haven't quite convinced the BF to do the same and he still insists on getting me stuff (dang MEN, always buying you stuff ! :-)) so thankfully he hasn't heard of Sweethearts Day yet. But if I had an SO who wanted those kind of days to be acknowledged, I would go along with it. Showing a little extra love and sentimental-ness can go a long way in a relationship. As can chocolate.

GuitarStv

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #24 on: October 17, 2014, 05:49:42 AM »
Never heard of this manufactured holiday before now.

teen persuasion

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #25 on: October 17, 2014, 05:53:35 AM »
I remember Sweetest Day flower sale fundraisers back in HS, so I've been aware of it since the 80's at least.  I've always viewed it as a Hallmark holiday, and very much a HS couple thing.  I never got the candy angle, though.  I always interpreted "sweetest" as a variant of sweetheart or sweetie.

DH and I don't fall for the commercial holiday sales push.  Overpriced stuff doesn't show our love.  Doing something meaningful and thoughtful for one another does.  Cook a favorite meal, make a yummy dessert, watch a movie together cuddling on the couch, play board games with the kids, go for a walk together, give backrubs.

Jack

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #26 on: October 17, 2014, 06:13:45 AM »

Guses

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #27 on: October 17, 2014, 09:00:13 AM »
I love my wife and I try to do right by her but every year this Sweetest Day thing comes up.

Instead of buying something mindless, why not surprise her with homemade candi (caramel). It is surprisingly easy to do if you do a Maillard reaction.

You basically only need water, sugar and some di-ammonium phosphate (DAP, can be found in any good homebrew store).

Make your own caramel candy!!!! Google caramel candi amber ale recipe for a link to the recipe that I use from the homebrewtalk website.

Señora Savings

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #28 on: October 17, 2014, 09:18:07 AM »
I love my wife and I try to do right by her but every year this Sweetest Day thing comes up.

Instead of buying something mindless, why not surprise her with homemade candi (caramel). It is surprisingly easy to do if you do a Maillard reaction.

You basically only need water, sugar and some di-ammonium phosphate (DAP, can be found in any good homebrew store).

Make your own caramel candy!!!! Google caramel candi amber ale recipe for a link to the recipe that I use from the homebrewtalk website.

I second this.  Make her candy or breakfast in bed or something.  She gets to feel special, you get to not be a consumer sucka.

minimustache1985

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #29 on: October 17, 2014, 10:31:18 AM »
I'm from the midwest and know of it, but don't get worked up about a hallmark holiday.

However, given that your wife thinks it's important I'd pick her up some chocolate or make a romantic dinner.

Also while I'm not saying this is why in your case (since some women just buy into the marketing), some women do tend to place importance on bullshit holidays because they know it takes one for their husbands to do anything romantic.

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #30 on: October 17, 2014, 11:02:47 AM »
To the OP, I'd figure out what kind of gesture your wife wants, and do it. For future years, set a calendar reminder.

For myself, we've never celebrated crap like that. Hell, it took us only one year of dating to realize that Valentine's Day is the worst possible day to EVER do ANYTHING so we don't leave the house.

riverrat

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #31 on: October 17, 2014, 11:17:24 AM »
Sweetest Day is my absolute favorite holiday.  Every year....as a protest....my friends and I go on a canoe trip.  This will be our 12th annual M.O.S.D.C.T.     Mens Only Sweetest Day Canoe Trip.  Lots of beer and cigars.   Always a great trip and very scenic with all the leaves changing colors.

lizzzi

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #32 on: October 17, 2014, 11:25:04 AM »
Just saw OSUBearCub's post upthread. Now I totally get it--my parents lived in Cleveland.

eil

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #33 on: October 17, 2014, 12:04:46 PM »
Thanks for the replies and opinions. Nice to see I'm not the only one totally befuddled at the whole idea of Valentine's Day: The Sequel.

The topic came up over dinner last night and my wife said she didn't really have anything planned nor was she expecting anything from me. So that's something of a relief. I'm pretty bad at being romantic and sentimental (as you might have guessed from the first post) but if I can think of something nice to do or make before tomorrow morning I might just do it anyway.

Thanks again!

frugalnacho

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #34 on: October 17, 2014, 12:21:19 PM »
It's very much a real thing and has been for as long as I can remember (I live in michigan).  I absolutely refuse to participate. 

ketchup

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #35 on: October 17, 2014, 12:28:00 PM »
No idea it existed until I saw this thread.  Someone brought in gummy bears today at work.  Maybe related?

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #36 on: October 17, 2014, 12:36:45 PM »
Just stop talking about this.  I don't need this day becoming any more known - my wife might find out.

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #37 on: October 17, 2014, 12:39:19 PM »
Thanks for the replies and opinions. Nice to see I'm not the only one totally befuddled at the whole idea of Valentine's Day: The Sequel.

The topic came up over dinner last night and my wife said she didn't really have anything planned nor was she expecting anything from me. So that's something of a relief. I'm pretty bad at being romantic and sentimental (as you might have guessed from the first post) but if I can think of something nice to do or make before tomorrow morning I might just do it anyway.

Thanks again!

Eil, really, she's lying... She expects something or never would have brought it up. She might be pretending to now let you off the hook, but get her something, TRUST ME.

It doesn't have to be much, such as the single rose I suggested above. They are only a couple bucks (at least in Michigan they are, and available even at gas stations this time of year), and well worth your time in this case. You can probably let them slide after this year, but I'd do something this year.

I'm from Michigan, Sweetest Day has always been celebrated here, so I never realized it was something regional, or that so many people don't know it exists. It's basically broadcast around here, so a guy doesn't have a chance.

frugalnacho

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #38 on: October 17, 2014, 12:47:09 PM »
Thanks for the replies and opinions. Nice to see I'm not the only one totally befuddled at the whole idea of Valentine's Day: The Sequel.

The topic came up over dinner last night and my wife said she didn't really have anything planned nor was she expecting anything from me. So that's something of a relief. I'm pretty bad at being romantic and sentimental (as you might have guessed from the first post) but if I can think of something nice to do or make before tomorrow morning I might just do it anyway.

Thanks again!

Eil, really, she's lying... She expects something or never would have brought it up. She might be pretending to now let you off the hook, but get her something, TRUST ME.

It doesn't have to be much, such as the single rose I suggested above. They are only a couple bucks (at least in Michigan they are, and available even at gas stations this time of year), and well worth your time in this case. You can probably let them slide after this year, but I'd do something this year.

I'm from Michigan, Sweetest Day has always been celebrated here, so I never realized it was something regional, or that so many people don't know it exists. It's basically broadcast around here, so a guy doesn't have a chance.

Submit and kowtow to this ridiculous industry?! I think you should actually be a little mean to your wife today, and then make it up to her tomorrow with a loving gesture.  Just to stick it to hallmark.

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Re: What the hell is Sweetest Day?
« Reply #39 on: October 17, 2014, 12:47:47 PM »
I also didn't know about it.  What gets my goat though is why women are always the ones expecting a gift.  I'm a chick, and I don't think anyone owes me a present for any reason.  Girls need to get their lives in order to realize we don't need handouts from our dudes. 
I'm a bit of a grinch.  At christmas, when my niece or nephew asks me what I got for them, I always ask them what they got for me.  They usually look at me like I'm the "crazy Aunt".  LOL.