Author Topic: Considering a move  (Read 50 times)

superstarburn

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Considering a move
« on: March 18, 2024, 10:10:06 PM »
How does one make a decision to start over in a new city?

Background:
I live in a picturesque small city. I moved here for college in 2007 and never left.

Reasons to stay:
- I am engaged in our local arts community
- Amazing outdoor recreation opportunities with no crowds.
- Local friends and connection; usually do something at least once per week.
- Easy life.. no crime. no traffic. low cost of living.

Reasons to leave:
- Arts community is aging and will not be here forever...
- Wanting to find a relationship - as a gay man it isn't easy in a small city.
- Be close to aging parents.

Finances / practicality:
- I am 36 with a NW of 850K.
- My savings rate today is pretty great at ~78%.
- The target city would raise expenses by about ~$1,200/mo between car insurance and rent.
- New savings rate would be ~65%
- My job technically doesn't allow full remote work, but exceptions have been made for 1-2 people in the past and I am confident something could be worked out.

What is driving me?
I feel I've explored what their is to be explored here. My life hasn't changed much in the last ~15 years and it's time for something new. I have long outgrown the company I work for and would have better prospects eventually.

What is holding me back?
Fears about loneliness and unhappiness. It will take years to get involved in a new arts community. I won't have solo hiking opportunities nearby anymore. I have anxiety and ADHD - living somewhere with fewer options and less "noise" is probably quite helpful.

How does one begin to even make such a big decision?


Fru-Gal

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Re: Considering a move
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2024, 10:18:33 PM »
Speaking as someone who never left their hometown, I think all your pros and cons are compelling.

My suggestion, as someone who loves their town and is too much of a wimp to move somewhere else (unlike all my family, who all scattered far away), is this: Why not spend a month, 3 months, 6 months somewhere else? Why does it have to be a big move, given the pros on your list?

Obviously it would be different if you hated it there, but since you don’t, moving doesn’t have to be a permanent thing.

But again that’s my bias as someone afraid to move. Since my house is where I raised my kids, I feel like selling it would break my heart.

Also the arts thing: what if you were able to create a touring situation, so pop-ups where you have a presence outside your home town, or conversely, a festival that pulls in other artists.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2024, 10:20:05 PM by Fru-Gal »

 

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