The poster I was referring too said the cost of housing in Atlanta was high. I had to go back to make sure I wasn't too far off base. Again, I haven't been perfectly clear with the job situation and now I can see where that gets confusing. My wife works a city away and uses her car to get to work and for meetings. I work with a client in the community, so we are traveling to and from different locations all day, every day. That's why we need 2 cars. If we both worked in the same building, I would absolutely downgrade to just one car. Also, I had just paid off my car and got a truck, which was my little gift to myself. Then we found out she was pregnant, so the truck had to go for a reasonable vehicle, which brings me to my current car. Hindsight, you old devil you.
While looking online for job postings I did come across two that my wife recently applied for, one close and one in Louisville. I'm continuing my job search as we speak.
Her grandmother is a tougher egg to crack. Before she moved in with us, I was diligent about cutting costs. I unplugged almost everything at night, I only ran the dishwasher and did laundry during off-peak hours. That alone saved us about half in our electric bill. I was the only one who drank coffee, so after I filled my thermos in the morning it would go unplugged until just before I went to bed at night. I made sure the ceiling fan blades were spinning in the right direction for the time of year. I kept the thermostat down and put on a sweater when the weather warranted it. The situation is a lot different now.
My wife's grandmother is a huge help, especially since my wife and I both work. I don't think she would be opposed to moving, and she does randomly help with bills, but because she takes care of our child, we kind of count her cost of living as her payment. So she doesn't help with rent or anything, unless she gets a wild hair to do so. Having said that, she also does pretty much whatever she wants. As I said above, I liked to do laundry on the weekends when the electricity is off-peak hours. Afterwards, I would unplug the washer and dryer. She used to at least unplug the washer and dryer when not in use, but now it is always plugged in, and she does laundry almost exclusively during the week, middle of the day. She also runs the dishwasher during peak hours only. So while I appreciate her help around the apartment, there are multiple places to continue saving money where she works at it for a bit, then stops completely.
It's not that I'm unappreciative, because she does a lot to help the family and without her things might be a lot worse (maybe, more on that in a second.) But there are definitely areas where we could all work together to save more and make life a little easier. I just worry about bringing it up because she does so much.
Now, since my wife's grandmother has moved in, my wife's stress level stays high. My wife hates that she has to work while our son is at home, and it is exacerbated when her grandmother goes off of our son's feeding schedule during the day, or when my wife gets home and she can't find bibs or blankets because her grandmother has moved them. It makes her feel like less of a mother because these are things a mother should be able to do or have done. For example, when we need the car seat, we can't find it. It has been moved to the hall closet. When we need the baby motrin, it has been moved to who knows where. These are the stressful events for her. Because of this, my wife wonders if it would have been better to do daycare and not have her grandmother with us. We wouldn't need a 3 bedroom apartment, which would save us about 250-300 a month in rent, which could then go towards the cost of daycare and save my wife a whole lot of stress, and in turn save me a whole lot of stress as well. That's not necessarily financially related, but it's just another possibility.
Finally, as I also said before, I like that her grandmother cares for our child during the day because I am weary of daycare centers, especially in my area where drugs are prevalent. Background checks aren't exactly standard, and I don't know that I am able to trust an unknown with my child at this point. As far as living the MMM lifestyle, I'm all for it. My wife is a little less for it, but she would be fine. Her grandmother is the anomaly.
I'm not being pessimistic as much as it appears. I'm just stating a lot of facts, and they are facts that kind of suck at the moment. It's just that we both want a house, which is the emotional bang for us, but paying off the loans is a realistic bang that is better in the long run. It's all a matter of delayed gratification, which is the hardest kind of gratification.