what should I do about life insurance?

[partgypsy]

I have a 15? 20? year life insurance policy, whose term should cover until both my kids hit 18. It is 300K of life insurance, where for the 2 insurances, I was the beneficiary of ex, and ex is beneficiary of me. If we both pass, children are the beneficiary. I am now divorced, paying both premiums. Should I continue the life insurance? Change it? I would like to have coverage but I don't like paying both premiums and I don't care for idea of ex getting the money if I pass. Overall he hasn't been a horrible father, but he is not good with money, plus has a girlfriend that he places before the kids at times.

[rubybeth]

Make a trust for your children and make the trust the beneficiary. Or give it directly to your children.

[mxt0133]

You can request a court order from a judge to make your husband take out his own life insurance that is payable to your children to ensure that his financial obligation to his children are taken care in the event that he passes.

You do not need to keep paying for his life insurance if you do not want to.

[partgypsy]

A trust is something done through an attorney, correct? Yes, at the least sounds like I will need to change who the beneficiary is.
I also feel like I need to change my (and hopefully his) will, regarding guardianship. Right now, ex's sister is listed. I had reservations about this from the start, but she won out because she is nearby and it would be the least disruption (same school system, etc). But frankly, she does not treat my children well. Even Ex agrees she does not act like an aunt to them. Ex agreed with me in the will to have the financial executor be different from her, because of these issues (that she might use money paying off her house, or on her kid, than for raising our children). 

After everything that has happened, even more so I do not want the chance she would be guardian for my kids. She has always been very chilly to me, but in the months before ex left, she unexpectedly "befriended" me. This wasn't characteristic of her, and she said it was because she had gone through a separation and wanted to be there for me. Instead she actively lied and covered for ex. The only thing I can think, she really detests me. With my kids not far behind. 

There are at least 5 people I can think off the top of my head I would rather have raise my kids. 
   

[socaso]

It really sounds like you would get a lot of peace of mind from putting together a will, naming guardians for your children, and setting up a trust. I did this and it makes me feel a lot better to know there is a plan in place and I know just what will happen to my child if something happens to me. My husband and I did this and I believe it cost about $1200 for both of us and included medical directives, wills, and power of attorney documents. The lawyer was also very helpful in talking us through different situations that might arise and helping us decide how to structure the will to best handle those situations.

[formerlydivorcedmom]

When I divorced, my lawyer told me there was no point in asking that ex have life insurance payable to the kids or me.  She said the judge wouldn't grant the motion, because if anything happened to him (or me) the children would be entitled to Social Security survivor benefits.  That would replace most of the child support that I'm getting.

It's probably not worth even asking him to change his will about guardianship.  If he dies and you are still alive, you get the children, and it doesn't really matter what his will says about guardianship.  If you die, he gets the children...and if something happens to him after that, you really don't have any control or influence on what he decides to do.

[Catbert]

When I divorced, my lawyer told me there was no point in asking that ex have life insurance payable to the kids or me.  She said the judge wouldn't grant the motion, because if anything happened to him (or me) the children would be entitled to Social Security survivor benefits.  That would replace most of the child support that I'm getting.

It's probably not worth even asking him to change his will about guardianship.  If he dies and you are still alive, you get the children, and it doesn't really matter what his will says about guardianship.  If you die, he gets the children...and if something happens to him after that, you really don't have any control or influence on what he decides to do.

+1 

One advantage of being divorced is that you no long have to agree or come to a copromise on many issues. 

The chances of both of you dying are much lower than they were when you were married.  Afterall, how often are you in the same car?  vacation? crosswall?

[Jrr85]

A trust is something done through an attorney, correct? Yes, at the least sounds like I will need to change who the beneficiary is.
I also feel like I need to change my (and hopefully his) will, regarding guardianship. Right now, ex's sister is listed. I had reservations about this from the start, but she won out because she is nearby and it would be the least disruption (same school system, etc). But frankly, she does not treat my children well. Even Ex agrees she does not act like an aunt to them. Ex agreed with me in the will to have the financial executor be different from her, because of these issues (that she might use money paying off her house, or on her kid, than for raising our children). 

After everything that has happened, even more so I do not want the chance she would be guardian for my kids. She has always been very chilly to me, but in the months before ex left, she unexpectedly "befriended" me. This wasn't characteristic of her, and she said it was because she had gone through a separation and wanted to be there for me. Instead she actively lied and covered for ex. The only thing I can think, she really detests me. With my kids not far behind. 

There are at least 5 people I can think off the top of my head I would rather have raise my kids. 
 

You don't actually have to name a trust.  You can just name the kids as primary beneficiaries, but if they are minors, any payment to them will likely go into a court ordered trust, depending on which state you are in.  Of course then the court will appoint a trustee, and I assume the ex will be made trustee unless the judge has concerns. 

You do need to change your will for the unlikely event that your ex passes away and then you pass away.  If you are on good terms, you can ask him to change his will to name someone else as guardian of the kids, but that might not go over well. 

[partgypsy]

Sounds like what i will do, is contact life insurance and change beneficiary to kids. As far as will, going to see if way to anend vs creating a whole new will, to at least on my end, change whom I'm naming as guardian.