I really, genuinely appreciate everyone's replies here whether I agree or disagree. I probably didn't think this through well enough prior to posting here. I was going to just not post again, but I didn't want those who replied to think their input wasn't read and appreciated. I hate when people disappear on forums after I put some work into my replies.
That said, I think I'm probably on the wrong forum for what I'm doing. I don't think a money mustache is what I'm after. We have a very happy life and aren't drowning like some of the poor souls I've read about on here. about 15 years ago I was in serious debt during/after an ill advised marriage and it made me sick to my stomach on the regular. Currently we aren't struggling to pay our bills or keep up, and although I'd rather not owe the whole world money, I'm not going to buy a fridge off craigslist used for a hundred bucks when the average life of any new fridge these days (factually) is about 5 years, I got it with 0% and it'll be paid off in time, and if one of the comments above (which again I do appreciate) had priced them recently they would see $1,000 for a new fridge these days isn't even a MID TIER price. We also bought the display model for a couple hundred bucks off, and got the extended warranty thrown into the deal for no extra charge. I don't waste money on refrigerators that have a web browser and cameras in them. That's just goofy. All I required was that it matched the rest of the kitchen and that it dispenses water and ice because we use it all the time.
Both our vehicles are worth more than we owe, so calling that credit card debt isn't exactly accurate. Credit cards are unsecured. If you buy a car sensibly (usually at least two years old) on credit and opt for gap insurance you can pretty safely stay ahead of the interest. In the long term are you paying more for the vehicle? Yes. But getting into that line of thinking is why I'm researching and looking for ways to use our unallocated (unless eating out counts as allocated..haha) funds to grow them into something better. Getting all this going soon, I hope to start paying for them mostly or in-full with cash.
As it stands now, the student loan interest is tax deductible and due to a payoff program that comes and goes, my wife can't necessarily refinance for risk of losing out in participating in that. I wasn't fully aware of that when I initially posted here. She already missed out on a sizable chunk being paid off by the state when she consolidated about 15 years ago. For the cars, even at a 10% stock market average I likely can outpace the accrued interest on those loans with the amount I've got to work with. And honestly, we like our vehicles and neither of us are even remotely in a position to take a bike to work, nor can we relocate.
The roof repair was a real emergency, trust me. The framework under it was completely rotted due to years of water damage that never manifested itself as a spot on the ceiling drywall. It was dripping perfectly into the framing and eventually soaked the drywall enough that the paint started to bubble. We were very lucky the wall didn't collapse. I do 100% agree I should have just paid for it in cash but the cash wasn't in checking and the HELOC checks were handy at the time. Again though, everything we have out between the fridge, HELOC and the Lowes account will be gone by March or so if not sooner. After some more research, neither of the 0% balances will hit the interest mark before June of next year. The HELOC being the active interest account, I'll probably go pay it this week. We've had a lot of issues with her bank not sending the payment on that thing and if it wasn't such a hassle she would probably have already dumped the bank entirely. I just have this "thing" about getting into my actual cash when I can find another way to do it and know that I can pay it off pretty quickly. I only put that repair bill on the HELOC in late august. It was paid off prior to that. Again though, I had the cash and just don't like looking at the bank balance change in big chunks. That's a me problem though, and I need to get over it. I try to (and do) always have $10k for an emergency (the definition of an emergency is broad), because that can reasonably cover a complete roof, any appliance, a busted transmission or engine, etc. For some reason I just don't like actually spending that money in one shot. That 10k could also cover the missing portion of our expenses for several months if one of us suffered a job loss. And again, our actual expenses are far enough below what we earn that we could make it quite a while or even indefinitely on one income + unemployment or a lesser paying job.
I initially WAS here with the mindset of just throwing money at all the debt and getting "free," but I have no desire to take it to the extreme that many of you have done. That's just not me or her. Aside from my beloved Mustang I waited 20 years to buy, if you were to look at our house outside or inside, we don't have a perfect yard, I have an 11 year old riding mower and 10 year old push mower, our house cost 129k with an $800 mortgage including tax/PMI, all our TV's are older, our PC and primary laptop are both old, cell phones are only purchased about every three years, 12k for two complete bathroom remodels is a bargain compared to what most people spend plus we went from 1.5 baths with a horrendous, duck taped shower as the only bathing option to two full baths (increased home value), our kitchen cabinets were refinished for $250 and 40 hours of work instead of replaced for $5k, floors in the house are laminate instead of wood, etc. We really are NOT the Joneses for people who are far above the national average income. I know many people who earn far less and have a lot more material things. We're very similar in that way, and I think it's a big reason we don't argue about money and maintain separate accounts without any conflict. We're generous with each other and we don't put any concerted effort into deciding who pays for most things or if we're even-steven on how much we each pay for. People really give me an eyebrow raise when I tell them we don't operate from a joint account (our names are both on each though) but it's never been an issue in the least. We have access to each other's statements and that's about it. I made it clear early in the relationship that I can't have someone else spending out of my account again and surprisingly she was warm to the idea. In the first marriage that was an absolutely endless source of stress for me, watching it go negative and having so little control over it. I honestly wonder if we would actually HAVE conflict if we tried to get all penny pinching serious. That whole "you spent on that but told me not to" kind of thing, or whatever.
I do think that as I get going on this, it'll turn into a game and we'll be looking for more ways to cut expenses and grow what we have. Even though I'm deciding not to head down the full mustache road, I think this thread has really helped me clarify what kind of financial life we're after. She just told me to up my life insurance so she can knock me off when retirement comes along since her state pension disqualifies her for social security (aside from her entry level jobs) so I guess that's her ultimate fall back plan..haha
Thank you all again. You definitely helped.