I have worked in residential and commercial construction, including renovations. Here is what I would suggest:
- First, I would find someone qualified to help you draft a plan (doesn't necessarily have to be architectural drawings, you can make your own on graph paper as well). Look to your friend circle for someone who is in construction or engineering especially if you have to move walls or cut away walls as this could result in changes to your structure that would result in big damage if not done properly, or large additional expenses for engineered beams or trusses / rafters.
- Second, check your local requirements. Chances are you will need electrical and plumbing permits at the minimum. Again, this doesn't mean you can't do it yourself but you will need to get it inspected or you could be in deep poo when you sell your house down the road (or insurance issues if your house burns down).
- Third, based on your preliminary findings on the first two steps, create a realistic budget factoring in best and worst case scenarios.
- Four, financing... unless you do a professional-type finish job yourself with the help of friends maybe, count on not getting back your full investment. All these stupid TV shows make it appear like you can buy a house, hire someone to fix it up, and flip it for wads for cash in less than a month. Reality is most professional kitchen renovations will return anywhere from 50 - 95% of your investment depending on your local market and smart, or not so smart, decision making. Even though most people consider renovations to be "investments" in their homes, they actually are crappy investments for most people. I would highly recommend saving up your money and paying cash. After cash, consider a HELOC / refinance as your next best bet. If you can't do it with those two options, don't do it at all. In fact, I would personally even lean to saying if you don't have the cash, don't do it.
- Lastly, if you decide to go with a contractor, do not ever go with the cheapest bid. It's asking for problems. Do your research, ask contractors for recent references, go and see their recent projects and preferably current projects. Talk to those homeowners!! Find out if there are financial issues or completion issues. Some people think it's normal for a contractor to ask for a cheque every week or for projects to run way over schedule because of "surprises", its not. Do not just base your decision off BBB. Look for a contractor that offers a clearly written, easy to understand contract with a set payment schedule that makes sense, guaranteed timelines that are realistic, and offer incentives if they run past their timelines without good reason.
I don't work in the industry any more for my livelihood (thank God), so I say this only for your benefit. If your husband or friend circle is not qualified to do comprehensive renovations such as kitchens, there is a good chance that it is more economical to hire an honest, reasonable contractor. I have worked on several homeowner DIY nightmares where I came in and had to clean up a disaster. I can tell a few stories, but in short, structural mistakes and electrical mistakes can be expensive to make right.