The Money Mustache Community
Learning, Sharing, and Teaching => Ask a Mustachian => Topic started by: kmb501 on February 27, 2016, 06:52:04 PM
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I have a bachelor's in English / Secondary Education and a master's in Education with a concentration in English for Speakers of Other Languages. Originally, I had planned to either go overseas and teach or use my GPA to get into law school. Well, I did neither. I'm currently working at a detention center making about $30,000 per year. It's better than nothing, but I have over $80,000 of unsubsidized loans that are accruing interest every year. Plus, I don't really like my job. Teaching is actually pretty difficult, and I feel like I don't do a very good job. I feel like my bosses know it but just don't say anything. I want to move on and find my calling.
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Well, there are lots that don't even require a degree:
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2013/07/25/50-jobs-over-50000-without-a-degree-part-1/ (http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2013/07/25/50-jobs-over-50000-without-a-degree-part-1/)
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I think you should suck it up and stay until you pay off the debt. It took me 5 years to pay off most of my student loans, and I hated my job the entire time. I think it's easier to figure out what you want in life without debt hanging over your head.
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I think you should suck it up and stay until you pay off the debt. It took me 5 years to pay off most of my student loans, and I hated my job the entire time. I think it's easier to figure out what you want in life without debt hanging over your head.
You might be right, but right now I'm on an Income Based Repayment Plan, and I owe $0 per month until I start making more money. Since I don't make enough to make the minimum payments on a 10-year repayment plan, I thought I would just stay on IBR until I'm eligible for public service loan forgiveness, unless I find a way to make more money.
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Why did you get those degrees in the first place? What interested you in it? What things interest you now?
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You might enjoy teaching but maybe just not teaching at a detention center?
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If you're working in a detention center, doesn't that mean you're working in a jail? Jail isn't for everyone, certainly not for me. I'd find another job asap. You might like teaching if you don't have to do it in jail.
I once had a project assignment where I was placed in an old jail that was converted to a school. I couldn't do it, so I quit. It was incredibly depressing to me and I knew I couldn't hack it after 2 days.
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Why did you get those degrees in the first place? What interested you in it? What things interest you now?
I was interested in the creative aspect of teaching; I also love drama, comedy, and performance art. I thought of teaching sort of like an educational stage performance. My second choice would have been acting, but I was warned there was no money in that, except for a lucky few. I was also drawn to writing and foreign language, but I couldn't get a master's in a foreign language without majoring in one as an undergraduate, so I picked up a master's in Education for ESL instead.
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There are plenty of jobs that don't require a specific degree, like working in HR, administration, or customer support. Or even computer programming. At my company we have a position called a Business Analyst and I know they hire people with all sorts of degrees and majors.
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Like Bob Dylan said way back when... the Army.
No guarantee of a commission, but see your recruiting office and they can steer you from there.
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Originally, I had planned to either go overseas and teach or use my GPA to get into law school. Well, I did neither.
How about doing one of those?
Teaching overseas, with your credentials, should double your pay and halve your living expenses.
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Originally, I had planned to either go overseas and teach or use my GPA to get into law school. Well, I did neither.
How about doing one of those?
Teaching overseas, with your credentials, should double your pay and halve your living expenses.
I could keep making excuses, but I think the truth is I'm just afraid; there are too many unknowns and older people have told me not to go overseas with the political climate the way it is right now.
As for law school, I'm out of tuition funds and can't access financial aid for a while. That's incentive to pay down my loans, especially the unsubsidized ones, but I currently don't see a way to.
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Originally, I had planned to either go overseas and teach or use my GPA to get into law school. Well, I did neither.
How about doing one of those?
Teaching overseas, with your credentials, should double your pay and halve your living expenses.
I could keep making excuses, but I think the truth is I'm just afraid; there are too many unknowns and older people have told me not to go overseas with the political climate the way it is right now.
Political climate? Stay away from those volatile places. Or what, is everywhere in the world unstable and unsafe?
That's crazy talk.
I agree that you're afraid. It's time to stop being afraid. :)
I say this as a person not that dissimilar to you--my wife and I were teachers, with Master's Degrees in Education. The wife has a bachelor's in English. And we're sitting in Istanbul right now.
I have a teacher friend who's in India right now (he has a family, and wouldn't be there with them if he didn't feel safe). A single female teacher friend of ours taught in Beijing last year. Another in Paris for awhile before that.
The world is amazing. It is, for the most part, very safe.
Heck, if you don't like the big city, go to a rural village somewhere.
Getting to explore it via a job is awesome, and the fact that you could halve your living expenses and double your salary (60k or so?). Well worth it.
As for law school, I'm out of money.
They loan you more.
I wouldn't necessarily recommend it, but if it was a driving passion (though it doesn't seem to be), it could be worth it.
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Originally, I had planned to either go overseas and teach or use my GPA to get into law school. Well, I did neither.
How about doing one of those?
Teaching overseas, with your credentials, should double your pay and halve your living expenses.
I could keep making excuses, but I think the truth is I'm just afraid; there are too many unknowns and older people have told me not to go overseas with the political climate the way it is right now.
Political climate? Stay away from those volatile places. Or what, is everywhere in the world unstable and unsafe?
That's crazy talk.
I agree that you're afraid. It's time to stop being afraid. :)
I say this as a person not that dissimilar to you--my wife and I were teachers, with Master's Degrees in Education. The wife has a bachelor's in English. And we're sitting in Istanbul right now.
I have a teacher friend who's in India right now (he has a family, and wouldn't be there with them if he didn't feel safe). A single female teacher friend of ours taught in Beijing last year. Another in Paris for awhile before that.
The world is amazing. It is, for the most part, very safe.
Heck, if you don't like the big city, go to a rural village somewhere.
Getting to explore it via a job is awesome, and the fact that you could halve your living expenses and double your salary (60k or so?). Well worth it.
As for law school, I'm out of money.
They loan you more.
I wouldn't necessarily recommend it, but if it was a driving passion (though it doesn't seem to be), it could be worth it.
The only thing that appealed to me about law school was that it might open doors to knowledge about other things, like how to secure grants for other companies and how to protect people from unfair business practices.
As for teaching overseas, it was something I was very interested in when I was in my early twenties. My enthusiasm waned as I got older and got more settled and started listening to older people and their distrust of foreigners. I'm also just not confident in my teaching ability--I have strong reason to believe I have Asperger's Syndrome. It would be different if I could go overseas with a friend who could show me the ropes, but I haven't been able to find anyone doing that.
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How old are you and how long do you have left on your IBR?
To continue with your IBR my understanding is that you need a public sector job. So you are looking at either staying where you are until your IBR is complete, or finding another public sector job until your IBR is complete. You are not doing anyone, including yourself and your students, if you stay where you are doing a half-assed job.
If you leave the public sector, you will need to earn enough to pay off your loans in a shorter time than the remaining IBR time. If you feel you are not a good teacher and aren't interested or capable of becoming a good teacher, I would recommend against going abroad - being sacked while overseas would suck. If you have reason to think you would be a good teacher and would like it under different circumstances, then go for it. Those older people who have told you not to go abroad probably have no relevant first hand experience of living abroad and probably get their facts opinions from a limited and biased range of sources - there are billions of us humans living happy, safe and prosperous lives outside the USA.
I'm not getting much of an adventurous or entrepreneurial vibe from your post, so I would suggest your looking for a nice safe admin job in the public sector in your current locality and seeing where it could take you.
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How old are you and how long do you have left on your IBR?
To continue with your IBR my understanding is that you need a public sector job. So you are looking at either staying where you are until your IBR is complete, or finding another public sector job until your IBR is complete. You are not doing anyone, including yourself and your students, if you stay where you are doing a half-assed job.
If you leave the public sector, you will need to earn enough to pay off your loans in a shorter time than the remaining IBR time. If you feel you are not a good teacher and aren't interested or capable of becoming a good teacher, I would recommend against going abroad - being sacked while overseas would suck. If you have reason to think you would be a good teacher and would like it under different circumstances, then go for it. Those older people who have told you not to go abroad probably have no relevant first hand experience of living abroad and probably get their facts opinions from a limited and biased range of sources - there are billions of us humans living happy, safe and prosperous lives outside the USA.
I'm not getting much of an adventurous or entrepreneurial vibe from your post, so I would suggest your looking for a nice safe admin job in the public sector in your current locality and seeing where it could take you.
Something along the lines of getting fired while overseas is exactly what I'm afraid of.
I'm nearly thirty, and I have several years left on my IBR.
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Seems like you are stuck in the private sector for awhile if you need the loan forgiveness, but seems like you could be paying something toward the principal unless your daily expenses are really high. You might have to send a check with a letter specifying that it's for the principal just to make sure the money is used that way.
Have you looked into other teaching jobs in your area? You might even make more as a public school teacher since you have the master's degree. Or a school-based admin job as someone suggested.
I taught overseas in my twenties. Pretty good experience overall, though I was homesick a lot. But where is this "overseas"? It's not all one place. Assuming you're in the main part of the US, you could take a summer road trip to Canada for a few days just to become comfortable with "foreigners."
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As for teaching overseas, it was something I was very interested in when I was in my early twenties. My enthusiasm waned as I got older and got more settled and started listening to older people and their distrust of foreigners.
I just can't wrap my head around their distrust of all foreigners, everywhere in the world. Usually people are racist against a certain group (Mexicans, Chinese, and Arabs being the most popular three I've seen), but everyone, everywhere? Wild.
What a limiting worldview.
Go get out and travel. It's totally safe, and it's amazing! :)
I'm also just not confident in my teaching ability--I have strong reason to believe I have Asperger's Syndrome.
I know successful teachers with Aspergers.
I don't know you. Maybe you aren't a good teacher. I do know a lot of teachers feel that way, and I know a lot of teachers especially feel that way in a certain environment, but moving to a new situation did wonders for their confidence (whether it was new administration, a different student age or demographic, or just a fresh start).
I also believe in the growth mindset, that skills can be learned, and even if you aren't a great teacher, that just means you aren't a great teacher YET. You aren't a good teacher NOW. But you can be.
If you have no interest in teaching, definitely don't.
But if you wanted to teach overseas, and have some teaching experience, I think it's absolutely worth a shot.
But it would take moxie. A bold spirit.
It would take addressing your fear, and embracing and overcoming it, for the sake of adventure.
You have one life. What a waste to live in fear. What better use of it than chasing a dream?
Otherwise, this is probably the best route to go:
I'm not getting much of an adventurous or entrepreneurial vibe from your post, so I would suggest your looking for a nice safe admin job in the public sector in your current locality and seeing where it could take you.
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You seem to like learning, which can be turned into a job but not easily (and more education is rarely a good answer in that situation). Without confirmation of aspergers/spectrum disorder, I'm going to say you seem depressed. Or have significant anxiety. Or both. Unable to make a decision, fears of the world, not feeling confident, and feeling aimless.
I second others that I don't see you doing well at this point in more creative work at this point. It takes a lot of drive and vision. But it doesn't mean you need to be stuck in this either. The safest way for you to branch out is to expand a hobby (probably a social one) or get a part time job doing something fun. A friend of mine is a very "safe" and traditional type. She got a part time job at a bakery counter and it's totally brightened her life. It's been the stepping off point for new ideas.
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Thinking about this a little more, if what you're teaching is ESL (is it?), maybe it would help you to relate more to your students if you experienced some time in a place where the people around you are not speaking English. This could be something as simple and close to home as attending a church service in a foreign language. Depending on where you live, there may be churches with Spanish, Polish, Hatian Creole, Portuguese, Korean, or Chinese congregations. Probably most of the people would also speak English, but it could help you to experience a sense of foreignness. You might also make friends from other countries who could help you travel eventually.
I still think a road trip to Canada would be a nice baby step toward overseas travel. You'd have to get a passport, which would be good for ten years. Everyone around you would be able to handle English to some degree of fluency, but you'd also hear French and see signs in French.
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You seem to like learning, which can be turned into a job but not easily (and more education is rarely a good answer in that situation). Without confirmation of aspergers/spectrum disorder, I'm going to say you seem depressed. Or have significant anxiety. Or both. Unable to make a decision, fears of the world, not feeling confident, and feeling aimless.
I second others that I don't see you doing well at this point in more creative work at this point. It takes a lot of drive and vision. But it doesn't mean you need to be stuck in this either. The safest way for you to branch out is to expand a hobby (probably a social one) or get a part time job doing something fun. A friend of mine is a very "safe" and traditional type. She got a part time job at a bakery counter and it's totally brightened her life. It's been the stepping off point for new ideas.
+1. At a similar cross roads in my life, I found working 1 day per week as a volunteer hospital guide very useful. Social interaction with no pressure associated with it, while feeling useful, is a powerful combination. Sense of purpose is very important.
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I would suggest that you PM Llahmo (or take a look at her journal); she seems to work in educational non-profits, advising and advocating in the education field, has worked overseas, and now is based in Seattle. I have a hunch that she would have a lot of interesting suggestions to over you in your situation.
You have excellent qualifications that should definitely be earning you both more money and a more interesting, enriching life!
(and I second everything ARS is saying about taking--even small--risks outside your comfort zone as being key to a fulfilling life, and almost always far less risky than we imagine.)
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It sounds like it might be wroth it for you to pay for a few sessions of interest testing and career counseling with a career counselor to help you discover your path. Often the counselor will have ideas for you that you never thought of. I think starting off by moving overseas would be a bad idea for you. It would be better to take a vacation overseas first and see how it actually feels to you to be in a non-English speaking country. It does sound like you could have a problem with anxiety. My kids are very adventurous like Arebelspy but they didn't get it from me. I like to travel to other countries for vacations but I would not want to live for a few months or years in another country. I enjoy being home, my friends, family, pets too much to be away for very long. Everyone is different.
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If you are working in the public sector and using IBR (this is my situation), see if your employer offers tuition reimbursement so that you could pursue the law degree or whatever thrills you while working. While on IBR, get your AGI as low as possible by maximizing all of the retirement plans available so that you will pay the lowest amount possible.
Or find another government/public service qualifying job until the loan payments are completed.
I know lots of people working in jails or prisons, it isn't for everyone but many find it to be extremely rewarding work.
NDQ
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As for teaching overseas, it was something I was very interested in when I was in my early twenties. My enthusiasm waned as I got older and got more settled and started listening to older people and their distrust of foreigners.
I just can't wrap my head around their distrust of all foreigners, everywhere in the world. Usually people are racist against a certain group (Mexicans, Chinese, and Arabs being the most popular three I've seen), but everyone, everywhere? Wild.
What a limiting worldview.
Go get out and travel. It's totally safe, and it's amazing! :)
I'm also just not confident in my teaching ability--I have strong reason to believe I have Asperger's Syndrome.
I know successful teachers with Aspergers.
I don't know you. Maybe you aren't a good teacher. I do know a lot of teachers feel that way, and I know a lot of teachers especially feel that way in a certain environment, but moving to a new situation did wonders for their confidence (whether it was new administration, a different student age or demographic, or just a fresh start).
I also believe in the growth mindset, that skills can be learned, and even if you aren't a great teacher, that just means you aren't a great teacher YET. You aren't a good teacher NOW. But you can be.
If you have no interest in teaching, definitely don't.
But if you wanted to teach overseas, and have some teaching experience, I think it's absolutely worth a shot.
But it would take moxie. A bold spirit.
It would take addressing your fear, and embracing and overcoming it, for the sake of adventure.
You have one life. What a waste to live in fear. What better use of it than chasing a dream?
Otherwise, this is probably the best route to go:
I'm not getting much of an adventurous or entrepreneurial vibe from your post, so I would suggest your looking for a nice safe admin job in the public sector in your current locality and seeing where it could take you.
I guess it doesn't make sense if you are actually overseas and know what to do, but most of the people who have expressed this opinion are retired and have either had friends and family in the military, have worked there themselves, or have had bad experiences overseas. They've given me the impression that it's very dangerous, and the news media hasn't helped, either. I would feel safer if I could go with a friend.
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I guess it doesn't make sense if you are actually overseas and know what to do, but most of the people who have expressed this opinion are retired and have either had friends and family in the military, have worked there themselves, or have had bad experiences overseas. They've given me the impression that it's very dangerous, and the news media hasn't helped, either. I would feel safer if I could go with a friend.
Literally everywhere in the world?
What about London? Is London too foreign to travel to?
What about places where the crime statistics are documented and lower than most places in the U.S.?
(Still trying to wrap my head around this, as you can see. :) )
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I guess it doesn't make sense if you are actually overseas and know what to do, but most of the people who have expressed this opinion are retired and have either had friends and family in the military, have worked there themselves, or have had bad experiences overseas. They've given me the impression that it's very dangerous, and the news media hasn't helped, either. I would feel safer if I could go with a friend.
Literally everywhere in the world?
What about London? Is London too foreign to travel to?
What about places where the crime statistics are documented and lower than most places in the U.S.?
(Still trying to wrap my head around this, as you can see. :) )
Europe has had terrorist attacks--remember what happened in London and Paris?
China is communist and wary of Western influence, even though they appear welcoming on the surface.
Saudi Arabia is Muslim
Mexico has loose law enforcement
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I guess it doesn't make sense if you are actually overseas and know what to do, but most of the people who have expressed this opinion are retired and have either had friends and family in the military, have worked there themselves, or have had bad experiences overseas. They've given me the impression that it's very dangerous, and the news media hasn't helped, either. I would feel safer if I could go with a friend.
Literally everywhere in the world?
What about London? Is London too foreign to travel to?
What about places where the crime statistics are documented and lower than most places in the U.S.?
(Still trying to wrap my head around this, as you can see. :) )
Europe has had terrorist attacks--remember what happened in London and Paris?
China is communist and wary of Western influence, even though they appear welcoming on the surface.
Saudi Arabia is Muslim
Mexico has loose law enforcement
This is all a joke, right?
You are at way more danger arranging a craigslist sale in a city than you are traveling internationally.
And being muslim doesn't make you dangerous.
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Allow me a quick edit to your message:
Europe America has had terrorist attacks--remember what happened in London at the Boston Marathon and Paris San Bernardino?
China is communist America is owned by corporations and wary of Western influence the bottom 99%, even though they appear welcoming on the surface.
Saudi Arabia The American South is Muslim full of fundamentalists
Mexico American cops have loose law enforcement based on your race
I mean, anyone can spin anything. My above edits are just as correct as your original statements. Doesn't mean they're a reason to be afraid.
If someone in Europe was afraid to travel to the US, I'd tell them they're silly, it's plenty safe, generally (even though, statistically, it's not as safe, it's still quite safe). I have met people like that, actually, passing through LAX, afraid to leave the LA airport because of stories they've heard about LA. Sure, they say, I'd like to go to Disneyland, but it wouldn't be safe to go out there!
I'm serious. And I try to explain to them, no, it's fine. Be smart, don't go in dark alleys at 2am, you'll be fine.
Someone afraid to go to America has more logic/rationale, sadly, than someone afraid of going to Western Europe. Because Western Europe is much safer, in terms of risk of dying.
And basically everywhere else in the world is safe, as well, if you are smart about it (sure, read the US State Dept.'s travel warnings.. no, don't go where ISIS is, yes, make sure to avoid shady areas). But you'd want to do that at home, as well. The world is safe.
How about Canada? What will kill me when I visit there? (Aside from, you know, a polar bear. ;) )
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I guess it doesn't make sense if you are actually overseas and know what to do, but most of the people who have expressed this opinion are retired and have either had friends and family in the military, have worked there themselves, or have had bad experiences overseas. They've given me the impression that it's very dangerous, and the news media hasn't helped, either.
These people are idiots.
You don't have the job of your dreams now so why not go and give it a shot? There are programs that place you in a school, help you find lodging and make sure you're doing well. Don't let other people talk you out of having an amazing experience.
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I will turn 60 this year, and if there's one thing I could tell my younger self it is this: "Do not live in fear." You only have one life. Try to live it optimistically. Go forth. Do new things. Try something unknown. The world has some dark things, but many more wonderful things. Get out there, experience it, and live.
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How about Canada? What will kill me when I visit there? (Aside from, you know, a polar bear. ;) )
CANADA! ... you must be crazy!
Cannibals! Ridin' the Dawg! Big F'ing Knives!
Never go to Canada...
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/greyhound-cannibal-interviewer-vince-li-thought-he-was-attacking-alien-in-beheading-of-tim-mclean/
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I've refrained from commenting so far, because I'm honestly not sure that we aren't being trolled. But, I'm going to choose to believe that you are sincere in your posting.
I say this in kindness - you need to figure out what the hell you want. What is your ideal life? What are you striving for? If you don't have a destination in mind, you can take lots of different steps and never actually end up anywhere. (Which isn't to say that you can never shift direction, but you can't just run around like a chicken with its head cut off.) It's OK to not know what you want right away, but you NEED to be taking your time, thinking things through, and having a medium to long term plan before you start doing things or you are just going to end up exacerbating your current issues.
You are all over the place in your postings:
You have a $1,400/month hole in your budget and you want to be a Reality TV Star (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/why-can't-i-save-more-money/msg922256/#msg922256)
You want to go to law school or maybe vet school ... or maybe get (another) masters degree (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/attacking-debt-suggestions/)
You want to go car free ... or you want to lease a new car to drive for Uber (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/considering-going-carless/)
You've received a ton of good advice in a bunch of your threads --- have you implemented any of it? Or even stopped to really think about it? Are you tracking your spending? Have you made cuts to your budget to increase savings? Have you saved an emergency fund or funds to use to implement the next step of you plan (whatever that may be)? Have you been to a doctor to get diagnosed for the Spectrum Disorder you suspect you have? Have you started self-studying a foreign language? Have you worked on improving your teaching skills? Have you taken a free online course in any of the various subjects that interest you?
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I think the OP has improved things a bit, from going from subbing to a full time job? I do want to celebrate that.
OP: I think you want us to tell you that you can improve your situation without taking any risks. You could more easily move to a mid size city like Richmond, and have lots more job opportunities. Also if you are not making payments toward your loans at all, you run the risk they may balloon. There was a thread on here where someone went from 80k to 250k in 6 years on IBR. Would you be OK with that?
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I've refrained from commenting so far, because I'm honestly not sure that we aren't being trolled. But, I'm going to choose to believe that you are sincere in your posting.
I say this in kindness - you need to figure out what the hell you want. What is your ideal life? What are you striving for? If you don't have a destination in mind, you can take lots of different steps and never actually end up anywhere. (Which isn't to say that you can never shift direction, but you can't just run around like a chicken with its head cut off.) It's OK to not know what you want right away, but you NEED to be taking your time, thinking things through, and having a medium to long term plan before you start doing things or you are just going to end up exacerbating your current issues.
You are all over the place in your postings:
You have a $1,400/month hole in your budget and you want to be a Reality TV Star (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/why-can't-i-save-more-money/msg922256/#msg922256)
You want to go to law school or maybe vet school ... or maybe get (another) masters degree (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/attacking-debt-suggestions/)
You want to go car free ... or you want to lease a new car to drive for Uber (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/considering-going-carless/)
You've received a ton of good advice in a bunch of your threads --- have you implemented any of it? Or even stopped to really think about it? Are you tracking your spending? Have you made cuts to your budget to increase savings? Have you saved an emergency fund or funds to use to implement the next step of you plan (whatever that may be)? Have you been to a doctor to get diagnosed for the Spectrum Disorder you suspect you have? Have you started self-studying a foreign language? Have you worked on improving your teaching skills? Have you taken a free online course in any of the various subjects that interest you?
Going to echo lhamo and eliza on this. I think your first step needs to be a doctor's visit to diagnose possible Aspergers/ASD.
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I think the OP has improved things a bit, from going from subbing to a full time job? I do want to celebrate that.
OP: I think you want us to tell you that you can improve your situation without taking any risks. You could more easily move to a mid size city like Richmond, and have lots more job opportunities. Also if you are not making payments toward your loans at all, you run the risk they may balloon. There was a thread on here where someone went from 80k to 250k in 6 years on IBR. Would you be OK with that?
No, I don't want the loans to balloon; in fact, I should have paid more attention to the interest rates, but, at minimum, my expenses are about $800 per month; that would be if I just took the bus and left the car for occasional trips only. My loan payment would be around $1200 per month if I wanted to do more than knock out the interest. I only bring home about $2000 per month. If I paid on those loans now, I would have nothing left over and would have to go through that for at least ten years.
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I've refrained from commenting so far, because I'm honestly not sure that we aren't being trolled. But, I'm going to choose to believe that you are sincere in your posting.
I say this in kindness - you need to figure out what the hell you want. What is your ideal life? What are you striving for? If you don't have a destination in mind, you can take lots of different steps and never actually end up anywhere. (Which isn't to say that you can never shift direction, but you can't just run around like a chicken with its head cut off.) It's OK to not know what you want right away, but you NEED to be taking your time, thinking things through, and having a medium to long term plan before you start doing things or you are just going to end up exacerbating your current issues.
You are all over the place in your postings:
You have a $1,400/month hole in your budget and you want to be a Reality TV Star (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/why-can't-i-save-more-money/msg922256/#msg922256)
You want to go to law school or maybe vet school ... or maybe get (another) masters degree (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/attacking-debt-suggestions/)
You want to go car free ... or you want to lease a new car to drive for Uber (http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/considering-going-carless/)
You've received a ton of good advice in a bunch of your threads --- have you implemented any of it? Or even stopped to really think about it? Are you tracking your spending? Have you made cuts to your budget to increase savings? Have you saved an emergency fund or funds to use to implement the next step of you plan (whatever that may be)? Have you been to a doctor to get diagnosed for the Spectrum Disorder you suspect you have? Have you started self-studying a foreign language? Have you worked on improving your teaching skills? Have you taken a free online course in any of the various subjects that interest you?
Going to echo lhamo and eliza on this. I think your first step needs to be a doctor's visit to diagnose possible Aspergers/ASD.
There's a STRONG chance that I have it; I was already diagnosed with it at the psychology clinic, but it was done by students under a doctor's supervision. My doctor looked over the test results and said that she believes I have it; I'm not sure if that counts as a diagnosis, though, and she thought my OCD needed the most attention, so that is what we are working on in therapy.
Sorry for not always having both feet on the ground. I want to learn, but I guess I'm too afraid to take some, or most, of the necessary steps.
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There's a STRONG chance that I have it; I was already diagnosed with it at the psychology clinic, but it was done by students under a doctor's supervision. My doctor looked over the test results and said that she believes I have it; I'm not sure if that counts as a diagnosis, though, and she thought my OCD needed the most attention, so that is what we are working on in therapy.
I'm really glad you are getting help - health and safety come first.
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OP, you sound like you are well qualified for curriculum development if some sort. I know many school districts around the country have been incredibly slow to adapt to the relatively recent waves of immigration and are desperate for people with your qualifications.
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so that is what we are working on in therapy
It also sounds like you want things to hurry up. Therapy takes awhile, and paying 1200 a month towards your loan for ten years is not a bad option. How much would your loans be in 10 years if you paid nothing?
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so that is what we are working on in therapy
It also sounds like you want things to hurry up. Therapy takes awhile, and paying 1200 a month towards your loan for ten years is not a bad option. How much would your loans be in 10 years if you paid nothing?
I don't make enough to pay for therapy, car insurance, gas, rent, phone, and internet to pay $1200 per month, though. IBR and public service loan forgiveness will eventually pay them for me if I have to stay on it.
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As for teaching overseas, it was something I was very interested in when I was in my early twenties. My enthusiasm waned as I got older and got more settled and started listening to older people and their distrust of foreigners.
I just can't wrap my head around their distrust of all foreigners, everywhere in the world. Usually people are racist against a certain group (Mexicans, Chinese, and Arabs being the most popular three I've seen), but everyone, everywhere? Wild.
What a limiting worldview.
Go get out and travel. It's totally safe, and it's amazing! :)
I'm also just not confident in my teaching ability--I have strong reason to believe I have Asperger's Syndrome.
I know successful teachers with Aspergers.
I don't know you. Maybe you aren't a good teacher. I do know a lot of teachers feel that way, and I know a lot of teachers especially feel that way in a certain environment, but moving to a new situation did wonders for their confidence (whether it was new administration, a different student age or demographic, or just a fresh start).
I also believe in the growth mindset, that skills can be learned, and even if you aren't a great teacher, that just means you aren't a great teacher YET. You aren't a good teacher NOW. But you can be.
If you have no interest in teaching, definitely don't.
But if you wanted to teach overseas, and have some teaching experience, I think it's absolutely worth a shot.
But it would take moxie. A bold spirit.
It would take addressing your fear, and embracing and overcoming it, for the sake of adventure.
You have one life. What a waste to live in fear. What better use of it than chasing a dream?
Otherwise, this is probably the best route to go:
I'm not getting much of an adventurous or entrepreneurial vibe from your post, so I would suggest your looking for a nice safe admin job in the public sector in your current locality and seeing where it could take you.
I think for me it's a combination of moderate distrust for foreigners combined with a lack of confidence in my own teaching abilities that makes me a little too cautious to go overseas, at least to the high demand areas where I'm more likely to find work. Anywhere can be dangerous if you don't have a good job, and I realize my potential employers would be investing quite a bit in me, so I imagine they would want someone who can do well with the kids. I'm not sure I'm that person. I waited three years just to get a job in this detention center. I called school after school and suffered as a substitute teacher for the longest. I never really thought I could actually "teach." I don't warm up to new people easily, and apparently it shows. This job, actually, is the first time anyone has told me I've done a good job with the kids. I went into teaching expecting it to be a lot easier and straight-forward than it really is. You really have to find ways to make your creativity work for you as a teacher. It's not just a springboard job to bigger and better things, like I once thought. Often, there are no lesson plans, few materials, and squirmy students who are more interested in an emotional connection than a lecture on whatever you have to offer. Unfortunately, I'm not the kind of person people warm up to and start to trust easily. It's just not my demeanor.
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Since incurring even more debt is NOT a good idea, it looks to me as if you have two choices: 1) Make your peace with what you have now or 2) Make a decision to do something that scares you.
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Have you thought about forgetting about what degrees you have, and looking for a job where that doesn't matter?
Or making your own job? Would working from home work for you? Running your own company (doesn't have to have any other employees, unless you'd like, but could be useful, especially overseas ones, if you're willing to outsource some)? How about writing?
It seems you keep looking for something with your current degrees (this thread title), or you want more education (law school, vet school). Have you considered saying * the education/degrees, and just making money?
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I just re-read your original post.
Your dream was to teach overseas, but right now you are teaching at a detention center and feeling like you don't do a good job. You do have a sweet deal as your AGI is low enough that your IBR loan payment is zero. Here is my suggestion:
1. Stay in your job for at least another year from today.
2. Spend time each day (early morning or before bed) thinking about your dreams for your future...how does it look, where do you live, who do you spend your time with, what do you do for fun, and so on.
3. Schedule a meeting with your supervisor or someone at work who would be a good mentor (i.e., an excellent teacher). Tell the person you feel you are not succeeding as a teacher and are looking for some feedback so that you can improve. Then, take their advice and really, really work at doing a great job.
4. Read books on teaching, find others who teach in the same type of environment (there are jail/prison teachers EVERYWHERE). Find them online if you have to. Read studies. Learn about the prison system, learn about prisoners and what works best with that population).
5. During the year, stay out of debt and save as much as you can for your future freedom.
6. I work for the government, and while yes, governments can be slow to change and entrenched in old ways of doing business, there are many people in government who are progressive and truly excited to bring evidence-based practices into the day-to-day operations. Think about what it would take to make your current job better, get better results with your students and really make your time there (and the students!) worthwhile. Are your taxpayers funding your salary getting good results? If not, figure out how to do the job better.
7. Don't make any decision to leave your current job until you are crystal clear on what you want to do, where you will do it and how you will do it. Right now, you seem unhappy. Creating more success where you are now will give you the confidence boost to do bigger, scarier things next year.
In my work, I meet a lot of people who take a government job out of college just to pay the bills. Somewhere along the way, they find a greater purpose in what they do. Suddenly, they've found a career doing something they never thought they would enjoy.
NDQ
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I think for me it's a combination of moderate distrust for foreigners combined with a lack of confidence in my own teaching abilities that makes me a little too cautious to go overseas, at least to the high demand areas where I'm more likely to find work. Anywhere can be dangerous if you don't have a good job, and I realize my potential employers would be investing quite a bit in me, so I imagine they would want someone who can do well with the kids. I'm not sure I'm that person. I waited three years just to get a job in this detention center. I called school after school and suffered as a substitute teacher for the longest. I never really thought I could actually "teach." I don't warm up to new people easily, and apparently it shows. This job, actually, is the first time anyone has told me I've done a good job with the kids. I went into teaching expecting it to be a lot easier and straight-forward than it really is. You really have to find ways to make your creativity work for you as a teacher. It's not just a springboard job to bigger and better things, like I once thought. Often, there are no lesson plans, few materials, and squirmy students who are more interested in an emotional connection than a lecture on whatever you have to offer. Unfortunately, I'm not the kind of person people warm up to and start to trust easily. It's just not my demeanor.
Judging your teaching abilities based on being a substitute (kids never know you, and treat sub days like holidays) and working in a detention center (the kids who are so troublesome they are KICKED OUT of regular school) is ridiculous. You picked two of the hardest teaching jobs there are, and are bummed out because you feel you aren't great at them (even though in your current job your boss says otherwise).
My $.02: Apply for new jobs now. Whether they're better teaching jobs in the US, or jobs overseas doesn't matter. I have two friends who went and were teachers in China, they barely spoke the language, but had a great time and made a little bit of money. I don't think I heard of anyone they went with being fired, and they weren't even close to as qualified or experienced as you. It sounds to me like you're worried you'll get there, and they'll decide after 1 week that you're a terrible teacher and they'll fire you and you'll be stuck. That's not how it works. Even if you're not a great teacher, you're way better than nothing. Just the fact that you speak English is enough reason to keep you there. They aren't going to care if you're awkward, or have trouble socializing, just talking with the kids in English and some really basic lessons will get better results than someone who doesn't natively speak English trying to do it.
My sister got her first teaching job out of college in a "rough" school. Think kindergarteners writing curse words on papers they turn in. She HATED it, got poor reviews, her contract wasn't renewed, and she decided to quit teaching forever. After a lot of convincing, she gave it another shot at a different school a year later. Now she enjoys her job, gets high marks from her supervisors, and is really glad she didn't quit. The only thing that changed was the school. Some people are cut out for really rough schools and thrive there, most people aren't.
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You can't count on public service forgiveness if you don't actually have a public service job. I know it seems depressing, but I always do my financial planning as if nothing is going to change. I still try to improve in other areas and work to get better jobs, but when it comes to the numbers, I only count what I have.
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You could look into curriculum and assessment design.
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Where in the country do you live? Big city? Small town? I'm surprised/appalled that with a master's in education and ESL training you can't do better than $30k/year. Even if you get your loans completely forgiven after 10 years, that's still 10 years for $80k, which means essentially you would be earning just $38k/year to stay in a job you don't like for a decade. Um...
And I'm curious, wouldn't teaching in a public school make you eligible for loan forgiveness too? I might be wrong, but the question seems worth asking.
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Small town in the rural South East if I'm not mistaken.
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I think you're getting a lot of good advice here. The idea that the most of the rest of the world is more dangerous than the US is factually inaccurate.
I have basically the same degrees as you. After getting my BA in English, I spent 5 years teaching in Taiwan. Then I got an MA in ESL, and spent 1 year teaching in China. I now work at a US university. Taiwan and China were both WAY safer than America. I also had some folks (mostly relatives who had never left the country) tell me how much people in China would hate Americans, but that was absolutely untrue. The vast majority of people I met in China have very pro-America feelings (based largely on Hollywood mythology, granted) and are very welcoming and curious.
Taiwan is a great "first" place to go (in my opinion). Finding a job there is easy, people are really nice, and the standard of living is very modern. From 1999-2004, I had a nice 2 bedroom apartment w/ AC, high-speed internet, etc., for ~$275 per month. I made ~$20 an hour, working ~25 hours a week. Taiwan is also a great place from which to travel -- close to China, Japan, SE Asia, etc.
And I'm not familiar with Asbergers, but I have experience with addiction, depression and anxiety. Getting a handle on that sort of stuff is absolutely the first step.
I used to think that the road to happiness was getting outside circumstances to line up the way that I wanted. Now I believe that happiness is an inside job.
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I have a few questions for you that may help clarify what you really want. There are no wrong answers. I think it's important to figure out what you're hoping to accomplish before you make any big decisions. Going back to school without a clear plan is almost always a mistake.
What would make you happy? Specifically:
- What do you love to do?
- What are your most marketable skills? In other words, what are you good at that makes money?
- What is most important to you? (Work environment? Ability to help people? Salary? Sense of accomplishment?)
- What kind of work environment would you enjoy?
- If you could do anything you wanted, what would that look like?
Second "assignment": do something that scares you every day. Yes, I believe you should step out of your comfort zone every single day. Make small talk with a stranger. Apply for a job you're interested in even if you don't think you're well-qualified. Ask for feedback from coworkers or friends. Try to imagine a situation from someone else's perspective and relate to that person based on their interests or feelings.
Not knowing what to do with your life is scary. Most of us feel that way from time to time. Tackle little scary things and gradually big scary things will become a little less intimidating.
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Second "assignment": do something that scares you every day. Yes, I believe you should step out of your comfort zone every single day. Make small talk with a stranger. Apply for a job you're interested in even if you don't think you're well-qualified. Ask for feedback from coworkers or friends. Try to imagine a situation from someone else's perspective and relate to that person based on their interests or feelings.
Related book:
http://fearbuster.com/book/
http://fearbuster.com/100-days-of-rejection-therapy/
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I have a few questions for you that may help clarify what you really want. There are no wrong answers. I think it's important to figure out what you're hoping to accomplish before you make any big decisions. Going back to school without a clear plan is almost always a mistake.
What would make you happy? Specifically:
- What do you love to do?
- What are your most marketable skills? In other words, what are you good at that makes money?
- What is most important to you? (Work environment? Ability to help people? Salary? Sense of accomplishment?)
- What kind of work environment would you enjoy?
- If you could do anything you wanted, what would that look like?
Second "assignment": do something that scares you every day. Yes, I believe you should step out of your comfort zone every single day. Make small talk with a stranger. Apply for a job you're interested in even if you don't think you're well-qualified. Ask for feedback from coworkers or friends. Try to imagine a situation from someone else's perspective and relate to that person based on their interests or feelings.
Not knowing what to do with your life is scary. Most of us feel that way from time to time. Tackle little scary things and gradually big scary things will become a little less intimidating.
Well, one of my biggest fears is upsetting other people through miscommunication. I remember I used to do that A LOT as a child. I couldn't keep friends because of it. I felt like everyone was bullying me. I found out later that I was at least partially at fault, but it certainly didn't seem like that back then. Even though, rationally, I should be over it, because I've proven to myself that I can be a reasonably successful communicator (and adults don't care as much as children do), I still have that knee-jerk reaction to run from an unfamiliar social situation. It sometimes takes a bit of effort to say "hi" to a stranger at the grocery store, and I still don't know what to do with new people who want to "hang out." I'm afraid my awkwardness will make them decide it was a bad decision. The awkwardness that comes with this disorder would be comical if it wasn't my everyday reality, and I feel like, to outsiders, it may look like I'm faking it, so I feel like I have to pretend not to care about my relationships, private or professional.
Take that "don't care" attitude and move it to another country, and I think you understand why I worry about having problems. With limited verbal communication, my bosses may misinterpret my laid back attitude and unconventional behavior as any number of negative things.
Oddly, though. working with foreigners is part of what helped me come out of my shell in college. I found college in general, but especially ESL students, to be strangely non-judgmental and welcoming.
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Firstly, schoolchildren tend to be a lot more conservative and judgemental than adults: they have changing bodies and brains, limited experience and little or no control over their lives. They are told what to do every minute of the day, they don't get to choose the school they go to, many of the subjects they study, the teachers they have or the other children they spend time with. It's remarkably similar to being in prison. Failing to thrive in that stressfilled hothouse is no indication that you will fail as an adult.
Secondly, you are probably overthinking what other adults are thinking of you. They care much less about your "awkwardness" than you think. Many of them either won't be perceptive enough to notice, and many others are nice enough not to care if they do notice. Don't be the first to push them away.
Thirdly, living abroad can give you a free pass on some of the niceties of society. You are a stranger: that gives you an excuse for not picking up on all the small cues of local culture and any of your own idiosyncracies become a matter of detached and intellectual interest in someone from a different culture.
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Firstly, schoolchildren tend to be a lot more conservative and judgemental than adults: they have changing bodies and brains, limited experience and little or no control over their lives. They are told what to do every minute of the day, they don't get to choose the school they go to, many of the subjects they study, the teachers they have or the other children they spend time with. It's remarkably similar to being in prison. Failing to thrive in that stressfilled hothouse is no indication that you will fail as an adult.
Secondly, you are probably overthinking what other adults are thinking of you. They care much less about your "awkwardness" than you think. Many of them either won't be perceptive enough to notice, and many others are nice enough not to care if they do notice. Don't be the first to push them away.
Thirdly, living abroad can give you a free pass on some of the niceties of society. You are a stranger: that gives you an excuse for not picking up on all the small cues of local culture and any of your own idiosyncracies become a matter of detached and intellectual interest in someone from a different culture.
I agree with you. Really, it seems like the only time I have trouble in "adult world" is when I retreat. I've ended countless potential friendships just because I didn't trust them and couldn't imagine them being able to tolerate me.
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I guess it doesn't make sense if you are actually overseas and know what to do, but most of the people who have expressed this opinion are retired and have either had friends and family in the military, have worked there themselves, or have had bad experiences overseas. They've given me the impression that it's very dangerous, and the news media hasn't helped, either. I would feel safer if I could go with a friend.
Literally everywhere in the world?
What about London? Is London too foreign to travel to?
What about places where the crime statistics are documented and lower than most places in the U.S.?
(Still trying to wrap my head around this, as you can see. :) )
Europe has had terrorist attacks--remember what happened in London and Paris?
China is communist and wary of Western influence, even though they appear welcoming on the surface.
Saudi Arabia is Muslim
Mexico has loose law enforcement
This is all a joke, right?
You are at way more danger arranging a craigslist sale in a city than you are traveling internationally.
And being muslim doesn't make you dangerous.
Props to you Bracken Joy.
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Firstly, schoolchildren tend to be a lot more conservative and judgemental than adults:
My experience is extremely different. I've found schoolchildren incredibly accepting and open to new experiences and ideas.
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I'm not a doctor but from everything you've said here, it doesn't sound like you're on the autistic spectrum. It sounds to me like you have a combination of depression, social anxiety, lack of social skills, low self-esteem and living in a place with a very narrow idea of what a woman's behavior should look like. I also have trouble making friends and don't know what to do when people say they want to hang out, but I'm not on the spectrum. OP, can you read facial expressions? There are tests you can take online on emotional intelligence. I've also been socially awkward but I scored really high on the ability to read facial expressions.
Your experiences don't sound similar to friends I've had on the spectrum. Actually what is more common for autistic women is that they learn to hide it early on and nobody knows they're suffering.
I think you should look into cognitive behavioral therapy. It wasn't until I tried CBT that I was able to get in control of my OCD.
I think I'm going to save this post and copy and paste it into your next "career advice " thread, :-)
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I'm not a doctor but from everything you've said here, it doesn't sound like you're on the autistic spectrum. It sounds to me like you have a combination of depression, social anxiety, lack of social skills, low self-esteem and living in a place with a very narrow idea of what a woman's behavior should look like. I also have trouble making friends and don't know what to do when people say they want to hang out, but I'm not on the spectrum. OP, can you read facial expressions? There are tests you can take online on emotional intelligence. I've also been socially awkward but I scored really high on the ability to read facial expressions.
Your experiences don't sound similar to friends I've had on the spectrum. Actually what is more common for autistic women is that they learn to hide it early on and nobody knows they're suffering.
I think you should look into cognitive behavioral therapy. It wasn't until I tried CBT that I was able to get in control of my OCD.
I think I'm going to save this post and copy and paste it into your next "career advice " thread, :-)
See, I'm not a doctor, either, and I'm not suffering much from ASD if I do have it. I can read simple facial expressions, but there are subtle differences in the way I communicate with other people, which lead to misunderstandings. I've gotten the idea that I do it more often than other people. In fact, before college, I was afraid to talk to people, especially peers and teachers. Being able to send emails and write my feelings to people helped my self esteem a lot. As a child, I really suffered. I often put myself in awkward and embarrassing situations without even realizing that was what I was doing. I couldn't make friends easily because I often ignored social conventions that were understood by the other children. I was also extremely sensitive, and it was very easy to embarrass me; some of the other kids took advantage of that. To me, it's like people operate using some kind of hidden code, and I don't know the code.
I was tested for ASD by students and received a positive diagnosis. My doctor also agrees with that diagnosis, so I don't know about it being all in my head.
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My immediate thought: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VS7GcO6AsqE (Jenna Marbles video) :p
My advice: take the warnings people give you with a huuuuge grain of salt! I grew up in a military family and got the same warnings in the US as I did in Asia, the same for going to the grocery store as I did going on a week long hike. There is no Safe Enough for people who feel they have a right to control your life.
I'm all for stepping outside your comfort zone. I've made it a point recently (i.e. past year or two) to do things I think I'm bad at, things I'm scared of. It started with an experience a friend encouraged me to do that turned out to not only not be awful, but enjoyable! So, I can't say I started this journey all by myself, but I've done what I can to continue it. (That said, there are still a lot of things I'm seriously uncomfortable with! Talking to strangers will always be difficult, but TBH I've tried and that's okay.)
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My doctor also agrees with that diagnosis, so I don't know about it being all in my head
I'm not saying it's all in your head. Although what's in your head and how you feel is really important!
In fact, before college, I was afraid to talk to people, especially peers and teachers. Being able to send emails and write my feelings to people helped my self esteem a lot. As a child, I really suffered. I often put myself in awkward and embarrassing situations without even realizing that was what I was doing. I couldn't make friends easily because I often ignored social conventions that were understood by the other children. I was also extremely sensitive, and it was very easy to embarrass me; some of the other kids took advantage of that. To me, it's like people operate using some kind of hidden code, and I don't know the code.
That describes me exactly, but I don't have ASD. I just think that doctors are too quick to diagnose ASD in women if they don't act a particular way. And my understanding of most people who are on the autistic spectrum, is that they can't read facial expressions at all.
Whatever your diagnosis I think you will really really benefit from CBT. "Feeling Good, the new mood therapy," helped me a lot.
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I guess it doesn't make sense if you are actually overseas and know what to do, but most of the people who have expressed this opinion are retired and have either had friends and family in the military, have worked there themselves, or have had bad experiences overseas. They've given me the impression that it's very dangerous, and the news media hasn't helped, either. I would feel safer if I could go with a friend.
Literally everywhere in the world?
What about London? Is London too foreign to travel to?
What about places where the crime statistics are documented and lower than most places in the U.S.?
(Still trying to wrap my head around this, as you can see. :) )
Europe has had terrorist attacks--remember what happened in London and Paris?
China is communist and wary of Western influence, even though they appear welcoming on the surface.
Saudi Arabia is Muslim
Mexico has loose law enforcement
Whoa,
I guess I should rule out travelling to New York, Oklahoma, Atlanta, Springfield, Colorado, Fort Hood, Boston .
.. Not to mention anywhere there have been riots against police shootings...
... or anywhere with documented widespread homicides...
http://www.johnstonsarchive.net/terrorism/wrjp255a.html
(http://www.johnstonsarchive.net/terrorism/wrjp255a.html)
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I guess it doesn't make sense if you are actually overseas and know what to do, but most of the people who have expressed this opinion are retired and have either had friends and family in the military, have worked there themselves, or have had bad experiences overseas. They've given me the impression that it's very dangerous, and the news media hasn't helped, either. I would feel safer if I could go with a friend.
Literally everywhere in the world?
What about London? Is London too foreign to travel to?
What about places where the crime statistics are documented and lower than most places in the U.S.?
(Still trying to wrap my head around this, as you can see. :) )
Europe has had terrorist attacks--remember what happened in London and Paris?
China is communist and wary of Western influence, even though they appear welcoming on the surface.
Saudi Arabia is Muslim
Mexico has loose law enforcement
Kmb501, I've been holding off on commenting on this thread -- and I have read most (all?) of the other ones you have posted, as well -- because I haven't been able to honestly articulate what I have been thinking, but I'll respond now:
I think that part of your problem is that your thinking patterns/processes are not very rational.
This particular quote is a good example.
If you truly want to make changes in your life -- and judging from all of your posts, you do -- you are going to need to start thinking more rationally and clearly. Feelings are not right or wrong -- they are just feelings -- but without rational thought to temper them, feelings will lead you in wild, skittering trajectories with no real path or plan. What you have posted about entire continents being unsafe are feelings, not reality. It is hard to think of how to help you or offer you advice when you say such unreflected things.
I find that you swing wildly back and forth betwen being irrationally afraid of things that should not scare you -- such as traveling anywhere within the entire continent of Europe -- and being not nearly afraid enough of things that should -- such as going back to school to add to even more of your considerable debt with only the vaguest notions of what you might do with that education and if that is even feasible.
I don't know exactly how to help you with this. If nothing else, I suggest that inmatters of your future, you try to get into the habit of waiting to form any conclusions about whether a particular idea is sound, and talking to experts who actually know something about that thing. And then listening to those experts to help you form an opinion that may differ considerably from what your first reaction to the idea might have been.
Good luck. I mean it.