What do you admire about your spouse (or person)?

[Sailor Sam]

Now that we’ve had the great chore debate, and the sub kitty litter vs fitness debate, perhaps a moment to remember why the hell we married these people in the first place? I've read in several places that true admiration is a boon to any relationship, particularly spousal. So here goes:

1. My wife is smart(er than me). I admire intelligence, particularly when the smartness is in something I don't excel at. This lady has got the smarts;

2. She is kind. She has a spontaneous kindness that functions at a level I can't match without faking it;

3. She has a determination that leaves me full of awe. Her willpower has yet to be defeated in my witness. If she wants an elephant eaten, that elephant will be bones;

4. She's dead sexy. Probably not the admiration the articles were talking about, but wtf ever. Still important. 

[AlwaysLearningToSave]

Great post! Sometimes it's easier to complain about faults than to be thankful for what you have.

My wife was already frugal in many ways, so the transition to mustachianism has not been a hard sell. She is a champion at finding second-hand deals and selling our unused crap, especially children's items for our daughter. She is very headstrong and determined. She is thoughtful and direct. She is dedicated to her family and friends in a way that not many people are. She is a good conversationalist and handles any social situation with ease.

And she's hot. The end.

[LadyStache in Baja]

Great idea!

My expectations going into marriage and parenthood were that we would share duties 50-50.  In the beginning it was rough because it's not like I envisioned and he's not willing to change, and yet, over time, I've come to realize it is 50-50, just different than I expected.  So I've learned to just love him and appreciate him and not draw up lists of who does what.

Anyway, what I admire:
1. His presence.  I think growing up in a natural setting (a ranch without electricity and running water let alone tv and phones) has made him so present.  He just knows how to be with me and the kids without thinking about some other thing he'd rather be doing (like I tend to do).

2.  He cares about the kids being clean.  He bathes the baby when the baby is dirty.  He wipes the kids' faces when they're dirty, and helps them wash their hands.  I tend to just not. 

3.  He's super handy.  He built our house!

4.  He's a great cook.

5.  He can slaughter and butcher all sorts of animals (goats, fish, chickens, cows).  If the shit ever hits the fan, I think we'll survive with him.

6.  He can milk goats and cows.

7.  Horses respect him.  That was the first thing that drew me to him.  His leadership.

8.  The way he loves me and makes me feel feminine.

8.  He's friendly and people love him.  The way he shouts out the window to all his friends when we drive around town (small town, knows everyone, makes for a lot of greeting).

9.  He knows herbal remedies and where to find particular medicinal plants.

10.  His willingness to go to the market whenever we need something, even coffee at 7 am.

<3

[Bracken_Joy]

Love this one!

1- He has the best work ethic of anyone I have ever met. He often works from home, and I don't think I can think of a single day where he's needed to get things done and has gotten distracted and not worked. If a project needs finished, he will work a 16 hour day from home. Didn't finish work until 10pm the night before but needs to take a trip and see a client? He's awake at 4:30am, and he has never snoozed or slept through an alarm.

Seriously, not a human being.

2- He is so patient and kind with children and animals. Especially old dogs.

3- All dogs love him. Our neighbors puppy will pull her over to run and come see him. And I tend to think dogs have better tastes in people than people do, so I see this as a big positive.

4- He is a very mindful and intentional person. If he notices a habit he has picked up (a recent one was trailing of sentences when....), he will declare his intent to change it. And then he does. I used to see stuff like this as immutable, but started trying to do this as well- I'm not as good at it as him, but it has certainly made me a better person!

5- He's humble. He's willing to admit if he doesn't know something or needs help. This is part of what lets him learn so much- people love teaching him stuff. And he's a great learner.

6- He's sexy and lifts very heavy things for fun. This helps, because it helps me feel small. No easy feat, since I'm excessively tall for a woman.

7- I feel safe with him, and trust him completely. I know that truly, deeply, he wants what is best for our family and wants to be a good person.

[wordnerd]

Great idea for a thread! My husband is unreasonably intelligent, incredibly calm and rational, but also sweet and goofy,a financial badass, inordinately loving, gentle and caring. I'm really lucky.

[Cwadda]

I'm envious of ya'll. Glad to see so many good relationships!

[Kaikou]

Patient, Resilient, has a love for family, everyone comes to him for advice and guidance, knowledgeable about the world and life, things that are hard for me are easy for him, if he doesn't like something he won't tell you direct, and the way he is when he is tired.

[Sailor Sam]

Wow Ladystach, if nothing else your husband sounds pretty handy and capable. Would you mind if I just kinda glombed myself onto your family if the zombie apocalypse ever does come!?

[LadyStache in Baja]

Sailor Sam... sure, what will be your contribution to the homestead? ;)

[Shinplaster]

Mr. SP has a seizure disorder, which has caused much difficulty in his working and personal life.  He cannot drive a car, and has to work twice as hard as me to learn something new.  He and his family escaped from what is now the Czech Republic when he was 16, arriving with no English at all, and hardly a dime to their names.  He worked to learn the language, and put himself through university without even losing a year due to the language issue.  He never complains, never whines about his medical issues, and just soldiers on.   He is one of the hardest working and most dedicated professionals I have ever known.   He has worked jobs he hated, just to make sure that my son and I have been taken care of.   He is very frugal with money, but generous when needed.

When our son was young, he would take him to a nearby ravine, and spend hours 'frogging' with him, wandering the trails, pointing out garter snakes, ground hogs, etc.  All while being eaten alive by mosquitoes.   He would play in the wading pool/and or bathtub with him, build snow forts in the winter, and never worry about looking silly to the neighbours.   He is not handy (that's why he married me  :p), but will carry anything, lift anything, dig anything I ask him to, without complaint.

He takes care of all dead (and sometimes dismembered by the lawn mower) rodents and birds that seem to find their way to our porch or lawn, courtesy of next door's cat and our neighbourhood hawk.  For that, he has my undying gratitude!

And he has the most gorgeous green eyes I have ever seen.

[matchewed]

My GF is a driven person. She's taken great opportunities to improve herself for her own internal reasons. She is willing to speak her mind and is direct and honest. She's a great cook and cooks different kinds of food than I do which is a wonderful complementary aspect. In fact we complement each other really well which is a good reason why we're together. Her memory and ability to hold multiple events in her head without out looking at a calendar far far exceeds my own.

Plus I think she's hot.

[LouLou]

Chiming to make sure that you all say these things to your spouses/SOs! My husband and I just did this exercise this morning (before I read this post actually) and it was a great way to start the weekend.

[Sailor Sam]

Sailor Sam... sure, what will be your contribution to the homestead? ;)

I have a fantastic impish grin, and, and, and, oh! I'm surprisingly good at telling other people what to do. I don't like to brag, but it's a skill.

[MonkeyJenga]

• Would thrive in a zombie apocalypse, and would kindly keep me alive despite having no useful skills. My only asset is child-production, and I adamantly refuse to exercise that skill.
• Loves dogs and knows how to train them properly.
• Cooks.
• Both intellectual and street-smart.
• Can charm all of my friends and family.
• Extraordinarily close relationship with his family.
• Will crouch down to kid-height in order to dance with young children at weddings.

[benjenn]

I appreciate and admire so much about my husband, I'm not sure I can list them -- but what fun to try.  :)

He's incredibly, ridiculously smart... about all kinds of things.  Books smart and people smart.

He's super mechanical and knows how everything works... from jet engines to cars to toasters. I have yet to see him come across something he can't fix if it needs fixing and there have been plenty of times when I thought something didn't need fixing but he found a way to make it better somehow.  (In fact, he's doing that in our living room right now with moving the cable outlet.)

He's a referrant leader... people just naturally seek out his opinion and want to do what he suggests.  It made him a damn good manager when he was working and I know it served him well when he was in the Air Force.  It even works when he's returning something to Lowe's... people just do whatever he says.  LOL.

He's got a work ethic that's unmatched.  He will work as long as it takes to do what he has to do - sometimes forgetting to eat even (which I try to help with).  He doesn't have a lazy bone in his body.

He does things the right way 100% of the time.  There's no such thing as "good enough" unless something is right.  It's either right or it's not but if he does it, it's always right. 

He goes out of his way to do things for friends and even strangers when they need help.  He never hesitates.

He's incredibly romantic.  He's written poetry for me (thought not lately.... better remind him of that) and he used to bring me a single flower in a vase with a long, thoughtful note every Monday.  He wouldn't have them delivered, he would bring them to my office himself... take time out of his busy day just to do something to brighten my day.  He did this for the first 4 years we were together.  Not very mustachian... but we hadn't discovered MMM yet and we had no plans to retire early then.  When that changed 3 years ago, he reluctantly agreed to stop the flowers... but wow, that certainly made an impression on me and everyone in my office.

He is the most thoughtful gift-giver I've ever known.  If I mention something in passing, he will remember it and make a gift of it somehow months later.  He's made me some of the most amazing gifts... like a wrought iron wine holder and a beautiful anodized aluminum wind chime (made from some kind of piping used on airplanes!)

He loves my children as if they were his own and doesn't refer to them as step-children but as his son and daughter.  They were both teenagers when we met so that couldn't have been easy.  :)  Now that our daughter has two of her own, he is "Poppy."

He tells people how smart, beautiful and wonderful his wife is on a daily basis... whether I'm there to hear it or not.  He brags on me to the point of embarassment but he really feels it.

Because he doesn't cook, he's made cleaning the kitchen off limits for me.  How could you not love that?

I know without a doubt he supports me 100% in anything I do and he appreciate my idiosyncracies and loves me whole-heartedly.

He's incredibly sexy and has the most gorgeous blue eyes I've ever seen on another human being.

1 month into FIRE and I'm so, so happy to get to be with him every day.

Yep, I think I hit the jackpot when I met him.  (And we're a match.com couple, too!)

[okits]

Not an exhaustive list, but Mr. Okits deserves a shout out.  :)

I'm a hard worker and obsessive person, but he is nearly tireless.  Work + home + family.   Super Dad!

In times of crisis he digs in and helps, with a good attitude.

Wonderful with children and dogs.

Fun to be around, participates in some of my interests (and has hobbies I had interest in adopting).

Smart, capable, multi-talented, easy-going, kind, generous, looks great naked, and hey - he picked me!