What do people who relocated to a lower cost area wish they had known beforehand

[Beardog]

I am a 55 year old woman who is planning to sell my condominium this Spring.  I hope to use about half of my home equity to build up my 'stache and the other half of my equity to buy a small house in a lower cost area accessible to the local metropolitan area (Boston) and my job by train line.  I have lived in a nice (and very expensive) city in the Boston metropolitan area for the past 12 years and am anticipating a bit of culture shock when moving to a more 'remote' area.  (Remote meaning anywhere 30 miles away from the area I've come to know as home [ha! ha!]) 

The cities I am considering either have local universities/colleges or are very close to an area that does, and have amenities that I value such as local theater, YMCA, farmers markets, museums, historical sites, etc.  Some of these areas are more urban and others are somewhat suburban in nature.  By saving some of my home equity, I am hoping that I will have a long train commute for a relatively short period of time and will be able enjoy retirement within 2-3 years.

For those of you who have made this type of move, what do you wish you had known beforehand?  How did you deal with moving to an area where you didn't know anyone?  If this topic has been dealt with before, I'm happy to be directed to those posts. 

Thanks in advance for any words of wisdom anyone cares to offer.  I'm doing lots of research on these areas and making lots of visits so I can be educated about what to expect, but it still feels pretty daunting.

[lizzzi]

Moving from New York (about 90 miles north of NYC) to the Heartland has been incredibly Mustachian. I still am amazed sometimes how much cheaper it is to live here…taxes especially…and how housing is almost, but not quite, two Ohio houses for the price of one house in NY.It is so much easier to be FIRE in a low cost-of-living place. Friends from NY who retired to South Carolina tell a similar story. In terms of not knowing anyone, I would say that the secret is just to start getting involved with things you are genuinely interested in, and the rest will follow. I had my harp teacher lined up before I left NY, and re-started harp lessons as soon as I got here…two years later, my teacher has become a good friend. These things take a while though, and cannot be forced. I guess what I wasn't ready for was how much I would miss NY. It's just a situation though, not a problem. I'm only a day's drive away, and nothing is preventing me from going back.  On my next trip, within the next few weeks, I'm going to bunk in with a friend…she lives within walking distance of the Metro North station that is one hour and 15" to Manhattan. Or I could always just drive to the City and get a room…whatever.  Relatives in Ohio will watch my house for me. So I guess what I wish I had known beforehand…if anything…was not to worry…it worked out great!

[MayDay]

We moved Mpls to rural-ish OH- we are about 30 minutes outside of a city.

Hard:
Driving everywhere
No good grocery options (no food co-op, hour drive to whole foods, limited ethnic options at regular grocery)
Small town = everyone knows everyone, can feel very clique-y
No public transport
No good restaurants (especially ethnic or vegetarian)
Lack of choices for schools - our district is good but there is no language immersion, Montessori, etc.
Taxes are actually insanely high here so watch that, plus they have a town income tax
It's a poor town so not a lot of money for things like road maintenance
To get to a good hospital and doctors it's 45 minutes. In an emergency we would go via ambulance to the bad local hospital.

Nice:
Cheap house
Closer to nature (hiking, camping)
Closer to agriculture (fruit and veggie farms, great farmers market).

My situation =/= yours. We'd move back to a real city in a heartbeat. Small towns are not for us.

[Beardog]

Thank you, lizzzi, for your response.  It sounds like you've adapted and are thriving.  I like the way you view it as a 'situation, not a problem' to miss the NY area.  I'm guessing that my move will bring many un-anticipated benefits as well as some feelings of loss.  Did you move to the Heartland specifically to retire?

MayDay, I'm curious whether you moved specifically for the Mustachian benefits of a lower cost of living?  Or were there other factors involved?  Maybe there is a middle-ground between the 'ruralish' area you are living in and a small city.  Maybe you could reap the benefits of city living you value in a small city or city in a different area and still have a lower cost of living.

[lizzzi]

Hello again, Beardog. I left the workforce to come to Ohio because my Pennsylvania daughter got a job offer here that she just could not turn down. I was 63 with no plans to retire yet, but had already reached my retirement goals some years before, and was really only still working to pay NY taxes and pay for DH's full-time home health aide--and just because I liked to work. So I joined forces with DD and s-i-l and the three grands…we all rented a big place together in OH while we each looked for something to buy--and we took care of DH (grandpa) and the three little grandchildren within the family, rather than paying a fortune on home health aides and childcare--and grandpa and the kids all got much better care. Just call us the Waltons on acid. It has worked out pretty well..grandpa just died Sept. 2, (a great blow to all of us--but not unexpected--and he died at home with my arms around him), and while I do take care of the grands part-time, I am not tethered to that in the least. When I need to travel or whatever, DD and s-i-l just put them into daycare or after-school care. My house is a little, two-bedroom, two bath ranch-style facing onto a park with hike/bike trails, and everything I could want is five or ten minutes away in the other direction. DD and s-i-l are in their big house three minutes away. I am probably ten minutes from the interstate that goes back to New York, (yay!) and half-way between two major airports. (Cleveland and Pittsburgh). Local schools are excellent. So all in all, once I stop missing DH quite so intensely, this is a good situation.  And being able to walk across the road every day and take long walks in the woods…priceless.

[chasesfish]

Hard:

You can't dissapear on weekends if you want to - you will literally see people you know everywhere.  This could be good or bad.
Transportation is hit or miss, some places love bikes and city buses, others don't.
Taxes can be surprisingly high (in hidden ways), think municipal infrastructure, less people to spread the same costs over.

[lizzzi]

Forgot to say that, at least in OH, taxes can vary widely area to area. So be careful about that. We have found one very good Italian restaurant--every bit as good as some we used to go to in the Bronx. Of course, being Mustachian, we shop at Aldi's (10 min. away) and cook at home 99.999% of the time.  : D  This town has a population of 35,000, and is a southern suburb of a city with a population of 65,000, and so far does not seem to be "clique-y." I probably would not have picked this location except for family reasons, but my little road facing the park is a quiet, green haven. I took my time before I purchased anything, and knew that I had to have a sense of space and natural beauty and a place that had some walkability (the town itself is not walker or bike friendly, but the park is)…and I wanted to be private but not isolated. I enjoyed MMM's blog about his new, little house, because I had hit most of his marks first. (Yeah!! Great minds think alike!) Being in the big rental with the family gave me time to look around and be really careful before I bought anything. If I do decide to sell at some point, the re-sale should be good, because around here people get in line to try to buy houses on the park.

[jday]

If you are a foodie at all don't underestimate your lack of food options. Although it is very Mustachian to just cook all your food at home.

Family is important. Is it possible to move close to some relatives in a lower cost of living area? Knowing absolutely no one will be very hard.

Give yourself time to adjust. It will easily take you a year or two to feel at home in your new place. Dont just move there and move back when you get lonely. Use the loneliness to force you out into the world.

On that note, find any and every community to be a part of. If you are religious churches (some not all) give you a great sense of community very quickly. Maybe go to your local school (if you like kids) and volunteer to be a teacher aide? If you are more business minded maybe go to the local chamber of commerce. Or if you are politically minded get involved in your local politics. Those 4 places right there are the quickest way to network and become a part of your local community.

[MayDay]

Beardog, we moved for a job. We thought about living in the nearby city, but the commute for H would suck.

We will likely move to a small city or large university town (at least 50k people) within the next few years.

We don't eat out much at all, but it makes me crazy that when we do want to, there aren't good places,  and if we want to cook specialty food at home, I frequently have to order on Amazon or drive 45 minutes.

A whole foods is opening 30 minutes away next to Costco. This will make my life better. But in our old city and the university town I grew up in, I could ride my bike to the co-op.  Driving everywhere sucks.

[Beardog]

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and suggestions.  I am drawing courage from your posts as I contemplate this next phase in my life.

lizzzi - thank you for sharing more of your story.  I appreciate your suggestion of moving some place and taking your time to buy a property.  That sounds like a very wise approach.

jday - Since I am a foodie, I have been noticing that a couple of the cities I am looking at have very minimal restaurant options.  Being near family would be an ameliorating factor which I wasn't really focusing on, so thank you for pointing that out.  I think your suggestion regarding getting involved in community organizations is a very good one.  And I also appreciate your wisdom concerning managing my expectations.  It will take time to adjust and make new connections and I will need to be patient and expect a one or two year adjustment.

MayDay - All the places I am looking at have local public transportation, as well as being on a train line to Boston.  I hardly ever use my car now and fervently hope that I can continue that life style.  I hope you and H find a place that resonates better with your lifestyle.

[DangleStash]

Another Bostonian here - Would you mind tossing out a few potential locations just so I can ground myself a bit?

For a foodie, fun, cheaper than downtown (not sure where in Boston you consider home) place, Waltham has some solid deals to be had and is a breeze of a commute.  Otherwise you start getting relatively far out from the city, or being limited by the few train lines that actually exist.

Just curious, feel free to PM if you don't want to share here too!

[dragoncar]

If you are a foodie at all don't underestimate your lack of food options. Although it is very Mustachian to just cook all your food at home.

Don't underestimate your lack of ingredient options, either.  Although I guess now we have the internet for spices.


cool thread, btw.  no direct experience to add, but very interested in the responses

[iris lily]

For those looking to move from $$$ coasts to flyover country, remember St. Louis! Restaurants in the city here are wonderful. There is no place to shop in the city, but that is fine, who needs crap. Oh wait, we ARE getting an IKEA in a few months (but I don't care about that stuff.)

[Thegoblinchief]

LCOL does not have to equal Podunk territory. I've never relocated to a LCOL from a HCOL, but there are plenty of mid to cheap towns and cities with hot culture and good shopping.

[RunHappy]

I  moved from Maryland to Texas saving me a LOT of money every month.  One thing I knew but didn't really KNOW was how oppressive I would find the Texas summers.  In Maryland I would go hiking, running, and cycling in the summer (and winter), but in Texas I felt like a virtual prisoner because the heat was just too much for me (I almost passed out several times and got heat-related headaches).  So I would definitely look at climate and if you can still do all the things you enjoy.

[Bob W]

Grew up in St. Louis suburbs.  As an adult I moved to a city of 150K (SPFD MO)  Loved it.  Many friends and many things to do.  Then to a town of 3,000, (Buffalo, MO) 30 miles from SPFD.  I thought I would be burning up the highway.  But I actually went 7 months one time without leaving the city limits!   My thinking was if I could get it on the net or at walmart I probably didn't need it.

Leaving friends behind will be difficult.  Most will not visit you.   Making new friends in small towns will be difficult as well.  They already have their friends. 

Here is what a local newspaper writer said about his experience moving to Buffalo, MO ---

There are 3 stages of small town life.  The first stage is when you don't need an ID because the bank tellers all know you by name.  The second stage is that everyone knows where you went on Friday night.  The third stage is people know where you're going before you know where you're going.   It was so true!  My kids had no secrets from us.

[OddOne]

lizzzi, I am sorry for your loss. Hope time makes it easier.

Hugs,
OO

[rujancified]

I moved from Boston to North Carolina ~10 years ago for a good job and a LCOL, but I'd lived in the metro area for 25+ years prior to that - mostly North Shore burbs & "cities". Are you looking to move from a close-in town (ex. Quincy or Brookline) to a further out town/state (ex Worcester or NH)? Or Boston-proper to small one traffic light town?

Are you from the small/remote towns you're looking to relocate to? Any established support system nearby? Everyone gave good advice to put yourself out there when you move - get involved in hobbies/charities/churches ASAP. Small New England towns aren't known for their overt friendliness (she says with love), but those are some good people up there once you thaw them out a bit.

FWIW, I miss my friends & family greatly, but you'd never get me to go back to MA or New England to live on any permanent basis. The weather not for me!

[jday]

If you are a foodie at all don't underestimate your lack of food options. Although it is very Mustachian to just cook all your food at home.

Don't underestimate your lack of ingredient options, either.  Although I guess now we have the internet for spices.


cool thread, btw.  no direct experience to add, but very interested in the responses

I should note that I just ordered Ghee (clarified butter used in Indian cooking) off of Amazon. It might be smart to get an Amazon Prime account and order a lot of your groceries from there. I hear a lot of people do that.

[lizzzi]

To OddOne--Thank you--we just take it one day at a time…it's all you can do. He was an oldie but a goodie.

[Beardog]

Bob Werner - thank you for dropping by and amusing us with a bit of small town humor.  I've enjoyed reading your posts for some time.

rujancified - I'm looking to in-state areas like Worcester.  None are what you would call a small town.  Smallest city is about 34k people but it's spread out over a large enough area so it feels much more suburban than urban.

I do have close family within a half hour of all the areas I'm looking in, but normally I think of myself as being a support system for them rather than visa versa.  However, that is partly my 'oldest child' syndrome peaking through and my family will show their support for me if I move near them. 

I feel encouraged by all your responses - thank you for writing.