The Money Mustache Community

Learning, Sharing, and Teaching => Ask a Mustachian => Topic started by: purplish on December 15, 2014, 05:17:00 PM

Title: What are the people around you like?
Post by: purplish on December 15, 2014, 05:17:00 PM
The thread below about people thinking someone is in poverty when they're actually just Mustachian got me thinking.  I think I actually have the opposite issue lol.  People I know, know that I own my own condo and that I also own another condo which I rent out.  To the people around me, this is uncommon, and they give me the uncomfortable feeling that they think I must be very well off.  The people I'm friendly with tend to be renters, a lot of whom apartment-hop and seem to continuously be in need of places to live, have no money, work low wages and are artist-types.  Mind you this isn't everyone, but I do seem to know a good number of people like this.  Curious to see if people here tend to surround themselves with Mustachian-types, the typical American family types, or the artsy flitting from couch to couch types that I seem to know.
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: Cassie on December 15, 2014, 06:12:05 PM
Traditional people in my age group but not necessarily big spenders but not super frugal. However, I am not super frugal.   I spend more on experiences then I do on things.  But I do buy things that bring me lasting enjoyment.
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: Zikoris on December 15, 2014, 07:01:17 PM
Unfortunately, our friends seem to be predominately broke and struggling. Bouncing around between jobs and apartments. Some of them have started asking us for advice since it became more well known that we're doing well, but I don't expect any of them to ever turn things around financially.

They're pretty cool otherwise though. Very educated and interesting group of people.

Of course, my fellow Vancouver Mustachians are all awesome!
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: mozar on December 15, 2014, 07:06:56 PM
I've been making an effort to make new friends of my new socio-economic status. I bought a co-op, so in my neighborhood we are all owners, and there is a neighborhood social group I attend. And I've been attending local mustachian meetups. My friends used to be mostly broke, but we had less and less in common.
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: JustTrying on December 15, 2014, 08:04:45 PM
I lived in Miami once (before I discovered Mustachianism, but I was still frugal at the time), and it was really hard to make friends because I had a hard time finding people who wanted to do things that were reasonably priced! I'd meet nice people, but I'd have to turn them down when they wanted to go out, because I couldn't afford the events that they wanted to attend!

I now live in a blue-collar town, so even people who make a large amount of money tend not to flaunt it excessively - it's simply not the culture here. It's pretty easy for a mustachian to blend in!
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: DollarBill on December 15, 2014, 08:32:04 PM
For one I don't feel rich at all...well because I'm not. But when I was paying down debt I felt like I was high and I liked talking about it. During that time I really cut back and I think I was too focused about it. Since the beginning the biggest thing that changed is the amount I spend. Now it seems like people around me talk too much. It doesn't take much for me to live now but everyone else around me think I'm living high on the hog. I try to keep my mouth shut most of the time now.
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: TerriM on December 15, 2014, 09:06:58 PM
We surround ourselves with friends and family.  Friends are all over the map income-wise from CEOs worth millions to teachers living on a budget to people aspiring to be self-sufficient and grow most of their food.  Most of them appear to be happy financially and successful career-wise.

Our families are very diverse ranging from high-end spending (McMansion, overseas travel, expensive clothes) to frugal/MMM to extremely frugal multimillionaires who have experienced such poverty in the past that they will eat food that is going bad because they don't want it to go to waste and are embarrassed to wear fancy clothing. 

We live in a mixed neighborhood of low-income and tech families.  Everyone's very friendly, but I find the disparity very awkward.  I find myself wanting a nicer house with more space while our low-income neighbors NEED more space.  Yet renting instead of owning like our other neighbors makes me feel like we're not doing well enough.  We're also in the middle of the school families ranging from doctors to housecleaners.  It's all very surreal, but people are really friendly with each other regardless of socio-economic level.
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: gooki on December 16, 2014, 12:23:00 AM
My co-workers are pretty switched on financially, I suspect a few of them work because they like their jobs, or are paranoid of "never having enough to retire".

My friends/siblings, are not big spenders but not big savers either. Most have a mortgage sucking up 1/3rd of of their income, a small amount of personal debt (student loans, cc, or financed consumer goods). Only one couple are in the post mortgage, now investing stage.
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: Taran Wanderer on December 16, 2014, 02:44:00 AM
Our parents, siblings, and close cousins are all self-supporting, as are our friends.  Our friends seem to be generally squared away, too.  No slouches or disasters, and some have significant incomes (though we wonder how much they save...).  None are Mustachian, though.
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: MooseOutFront on December 16, 2014, 06:08:21 AM
Our local friends seem to all make more than us and are big spenders.  My wife is an attorney and that just seems to have been the root of where our network branched from when we moved here 10 yrs ago.  That said they're all normal and down to earth, relatively speaking.  They all know we're the frugal ones and the invite to a random $75 per person dinner date doesn't come anymore, which is fine.  We do get together with our kids and for happy hours regular enough.

I smile at the fact that with a 55% savings rate for 2014, we almost certainly saved more money than any of them.  We'll win in the end. ;)

I'm trying to cultivate more relationships with frugal families.  Always on the lookout.
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: Student on December 16, 2014, 08:08:51 AM
Well as my username states it's alot of students I'm surrounded with everyday ;).
Most of them are broke all the time but at the same time seem to be shopping always. When I visit the studenthouse I used to live and see all of the packages the postman delivers I can only guess that they have very nice parents or that they are buying stuff on credit.
My family is quite mixed in spending: some of my familymembers like to throw cash at everything they call a problem. Some of them are quite frugal and consider buying something only when there really is no other option.
As for me, I'm still finding my way. I don't agree with the casual shopping alot of my fellow students seem to be doing. To them it seems olmost a lifestyle. I don't think that's normal and can lead to a lot of problems when you get to be a ''real adult''.
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: sheepstache on December 16, 2014, 08:25:07 AM
Interesting question, I'm often intrigued by the challenges people here say they face with peers who are super spendy. I work in arts/non-profit in nyc so I don't have to deal with people who measure themselves by their consumption or think it's weird to take public transit. However, I have to deal with the frustration of people who see costs in terms of fixed value rather than as a proportion of income. No, it shouldn't be a big deal for you to treat yourself to some dvds and books off of amazon or stop at starbucks, because these aren't extravagant purchases, but these types of things are the difference between you contributing to a retirement fund or not.

So many of them are sensible people who are proud of not being in debt (or at least except for student loans) and about getting a lot of bang for their buck but I wish they were more ambitious about amassing capital.

I feel like there's an undercurrent of anti-materialism, that having money is bad, or that wanting money and having the careers they chose would cause cognitive dissonance.
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: Zikoris on December 16, 2014, 08:30:43 AM
My apartment complex is interesting. I live in a housing co-op and sometimes wonder how I ever managed to pass the interview. Co-ops in general tend to be hubs REALLY left leaning types - the feminist, anti-oppression activist, people-have-it-sooo-hard, social justice warrior stereotype. I'm politically quite conservative (Canadian conservative, not American conservative) with well-known views opposing all four of the above. We're also quite open about all our beliefs and have both had letters published in the paper, given quotes for articles, and espoused our views on television and the newspapers. We're most likely the only strong conservatives in our entire complex. It's an interesting environment.
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: Mr.Chipper77 on December 16, 2014, 11:48:30 AM
Our one big expenditure is kids in sports so must of the people we hang around with are all pretty much coming up with and working together in ways to save and get kids to there events. I think because of this people don't judge each other on how they dress our what kinda car the drive etc....
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: MrsStubble on December 16, 2014, 07:47:40 PM
We're sort of mixed.  We live in a lower-middle, to working-class neighborhood but, we work for a financial company that trained their workers to be mustachian-like so our friends are 1/2 and 1/2.  Some are really struggling and barely make it paycheck to paycheck, some are like us and are less then 10 years from FI.  We're all pretty open with each other about finances (mostly) which seems to work b/c the weathlier of us aren't spendy and don't live a extravagent lifestyle, which i think helps make our less frugal friends feel more comfortable around us since we tend to have cost-conscious habits and hobbies and we're not just gushing about the new cars we bought, or flashy tv's, clothes, etc that we just got.

Long term I think there's a chance we'll grow apart because i assume at some point (or even now) they may start to despise us (especially if we stop working for others) but for now, it's working.
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: brooklynmoney on December 16, 2014, 08:40:23 PM
NYC is so interesting because I have many friends that have roommates well into their 30s and are broke, not that they aren't frugal they just don't make a ton and stuff is SO expensive here. Then there are the times when you realize how much money there is and it can seem like it's everywhere. Like sometimes I go to investor lunches and I look around the room and think almost everyone here is probably a millionaire.
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: Exflyboy on December 16, 2014, 09:44:47 PM
Our friends range from dirt poor to multimillionaires.. and we socialise together.

The neat thing is the multmillionair couple are VERY frugal (apart from a BMW and a Mercedes SUV's).

I am reknowned for being frugal and I make fun of it.. and they all tease me for it.. its cool.

Of course I am also "retired" so my guess is they probably think we are "doing OK".

Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: TerriM on December 16, 2014, 10:40:25 PM
Like sometimes I go to investor lunches and I look around the room and think almost everyone here is probably a millionaire.

Yeah. I mostly find myself feeling poor because I am not yet a millionaire and probably won't be until around age 28-30 or so unless I really step things up. But many of my coworkers and associates are older than me, and are already millionaires. At this level, you don't really need to be good at finances to end up with a lot of money. I'm always thinking there's so much money out there, and I'm really not bringing in enough of it.

In fact just in the last couple months, I've attended some events at work where many of the people in attendance are publicly known to be billionaires and it really makes me think -- why can't I join that club too? Clearly, I'm doing something wrong ;-)

You can do it Cathy,  You just need to found a startup and go public and you'll be a multimillionaire too. :) 
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: iris lily on December 16, 2014, 10:58:05 PM
Too many of my friends, old enough to know better, are struggling with money. That doesn't mean that they don't have assets, but it does mean that they've got too much going into real estate payments and upkeep. But they all tied themselves up in those properties, no one held a gun to their heads.

Probably ya'll would disapprove of my friend who has a $350,000 paid-for house in Mexico whining because he can't get Medicaid in our state which did not expand Medicaid as part of Obamacare. He has other real estate but little cash flow.

Multiple friends with multiple financial problems, and it doesn't look like smooth sailing for several of then for the next few years,  they are all working until age 66. One friend just retired at 75, but she honestly enjoyed her job and she is very youthful and spry. Oh yeah, ,she retired and then--immediately went back to work for them temporarily because they needed her.
Title: Re: What are the people around you like?
Post by: 2ndTimer on December 17, 2014, 09:44:58 AM
We live in a Sr. trailer park that caters to a particular segment of the middle class.  Almost everybody I know around here has the same story.  She is a retired teacher and he is a retired civil servant in some field that doesn't require a degree. Few of them have big savings.  They do well for income until one of them dies and one pension is lost.  Then the remaining person usually moves.