Hey guys,
Hoping to find a reasonable balance for what's socially acceptable/accepted and what we can afford. For the record: no presents for anyone would NOT be seen positively in our social circles (or in most people's social circles, I think).
Situation: we've been getting invitations to baby showers/wedding showers/weddings. A LOT OF BABY SHOWERS. And, while I make most of the presents so they're overall affordable and fun to make... they add up, both for time and money.
Sometimes, presence/presents are socially obligatory, obviously. My SIL's baby shower? My sister's wedding? My cousin who I grew up with? All obligatory. Ok.
Sometimes it's obviously not. My colleague's kid, the girl 3 apartments down, whatever.
Sometimes it's... unclear. Recent examples: my husband's second cousin (close-knit extended family in a small town), who I've seen maybe once a year in the past 5 years, is having a shower 2 hours from where we live. It's a Big Family Thing and the entire extended family seems to be getting together to be there, but... *sigh*
Basically, guys - what's the line at which you feel you have to GO? What's the line that makes sending a present fine? What's the line that makes sending a 'congrats' card ok?
In short: I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or be seen as cold/ungenerous/unwelcoming, but at the same time I just don't have the time/resources to do everything, and I'm trying to balance that in a sensible way, and you guys tend to be a sensible bunch, so... work your advice. :)