Author Topic: Problems with my inner drive  (Read 9448 times)

whybe

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Problems with my inner drive
« on: December 23, 2015, 07:17:31 AM »
Wondering how you keep yourself motivated. I'm 33 and since I was little I've had issues with what I call"my drive", as in - the desire to go school and invest effort to do well, the desire to follow through on a goal that would benefit me directly, the will to go to work (not that I ever ditched the office and gone walkabout), the point in investing in relationships etc...

I have been to 4 different therapists over the years, since I was 12,  and did many other types of workshops, coaching etc. to get myself going but can't seem to get the hang of life - it seems to overwhelm me very quickly to the point I say, "F this, I'm not playing anymore." It can be something at work, with people in school, family that I get fed up with...
How do you put your own goals at the top and keep them there? How do you not simply stop flapping about and just give up? How do you feel capable to tackle the day to day stuff in order to get to the other side? What's on the other side, come to think about it?

matchewed

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2015, 07:26:40 AM »
What do you mean "can't seem to get the hang of life"? What is overwhelming? What are you "not playing anymore?"

The big things in life are made of lots of little things. Those goals in life are the big things. They get written down. How do they come up? Through introspection, through determining the sort of person I want to be and potentially can be. How do I keep it there? Every now and then I ask myself "Am I still moving towards it?" If yes, cool. If no, figure out where I'm going wrong.

As for flapping about, again it's about living a life true to those goals. Day to day stuff is all there is really. That's the important stuff to pay attention to as it will be most of the stuff in your life anyway. Make sure you do your day to day stuff well and right. If you don't give a shit about something then don't do it or find someway to outsource it. You'll always half-ass something you don't care about.

What's on the other side? Death.

But you can leave this world as a net positive force. Some push against entropy. Even if it's made up in my head (it is). That doesn't matter. I choose it even if it's just an illusion of choice.

What kind of person do you want to be? Start trying to live that life.

pbkmaine

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2015, 08:03:31 AM »
Have any of your therapists diagnosed depression?


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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2015, 08:22:53 AM »
I believe that drive levels are somewhat innate.  Some people just seem to have more than others.  That said, I get a lot of my drive just from knowing my opportunities are limited and the desire to make the most of them.  Opportunities include spending time with my friends and family, traveling, enjoying physically demanding activities before I am old, or just taking advantage of a beautiful day. 

Have you eliminated all the possible causes for low drive? Medical problems, Too much alcohol, recreational drugs?

How is your focus?  Are you trying to do too many things at once? Anything you really enjoy that keeps you engaged?   

I suggest picking a single, reasonable mid-term goal (maybe 6-12 months) and sticking it out no matter what.  When you feel overwhelmed, just tell yourself that you are going to finish this one thing.  Once you do you will probably notice a few things once you are done:

It really wasn't that bad.

If you can do that one thing, you can do other things as well. It can serve as a reference point for future challenges.

         

mozar

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2015, 09:32:00 AM »
Have you looked into cognitive behavioral therapy? I tried therapy and nothing helped until I read Feeling Good : http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-The-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336

For me, the reason why I want to retire early is because I have no inner drive to work.

Also have you look into your levels of testosterone/ Testosterone is directly linked to "desire" and motivation. Men and women who are too low feel low desire to engage in life.Whatever it is, you don't have to feel this way.


MgoSam

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #5 on: December 23, 2015, 09:56:52 AM »
What are your goals? Do you have any? It's understandable if you don't, most people really don't, they may have some thoughts about what they want, but have you actually written them down? If not, that's what I recommend you do over this weekend.

Find a quiet spot and think and write down some goals for yourself. I recommend a mix of extremely short term goals like get a haircut, and fix ___. Then more intermediate ones like drop 5 pounds by the end of January (just an example), and then write down some longer term goals about finance, relationship, status, ect.

Here are some of mine for examples.

Read at least 52 books in 2016, this is an annual goal and I've done a good job of exceeding it for the past 4 years.
I started Muay Thai and BJJ, I want to be asked if I want to start sparring in Muay Thai by June of 2016.
My house is empty besides me, I would like to have two roommates by June of 2016.
Longer-term, I would like to hit FIRE by the age of 37 (I'm 28).

These are some examples, I'm going to sit down and write down some more goals this weekend.


After writing down goals, make sure you can keep it in a place where you can review it. It's good to keep track of your goals and to measure them over time. Oftentimes if you are earnest, you'll be amazed at the progress you are making, but try not to check it too frequently as it can be discouraging. For myself, last night's Muay Thai class was hard for me, but I did better than I did last week. On Monday's class we finished with a brutual core exercise, but I liked that I was the only one that wasn't complaining or gasping, but just sucked it up and did it. This earned me a smile from our otherwise gruff instructor and noticed that yesterday he was nicer to me.

That's another thing, do not complain. If it hurts, try to find ways to get through it, but do not let your mind tell you what to do. You are your mind's master. It works for you. As a small business owner, I know that employees can take advantage and push you around if you let them, you must harness your resources to work for the overall benefit. I've found that by leading my employees I get way more out of them, and it doesn't involve cracking the whip, for my guys it simply meant showing them that you care about them, that you work harder than them, and that you will fight for them. In turn, they are doing things that for me, willingly and without prompting, that they wouldn't do for my predecessor. For instance, we have a package coming in tomorrow but we are closed, my warehouse manager volunteered to come here to receive it instead of waiting until Monday. Such a simple offer that he knows I would refuse, but it's touching to see that he cares, whereas ordinarily he has been a clock-in clock-out type of person. Your mind is the same way, if you let it run roughshot over you, it will. Don't give in to it. Ever absolutely not want to go to a gym, but once you did and start working out, you love doing it? Your mind can be like that, it can pull and push you aside, but once you make your motivations clear and it knows that there's no way out, it will work with you and become your ally.

ReadingLearner

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #6 on: December 23, 2015, 11:18:24 AM »
I feel like you're not giving yourself enough credit. The fact you are writing on this post searching for something is already proof of having drive.

Louisville

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #7 on: December 23, 2015, 11:20:30 AM »
Have you managed to feed yourself and keep a roof over your head? Maybe you have plenty of drive, but you perceive that you should have more. Which is a problem as well, but a different one.

MgoSam

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #8 on: December 23, 2015, 11:24:58 AM »
Have you managed to feed yourself and keep a roof over your head? Maybe you have plenty of drive, but you perceive that you should have more. Which is a problem as well, but a different one.

That's a good point. Oftentimes we are harder on ourselves than we need to be.

Fishindude

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #9 on: December 23, 2015, 11:33:31 AM »
Some rules of thumb we use around work:

Things that get scheduled, get done on time.
Things that get written down tend to get done.
Plan your work, then work your plan.

People that utilize a calendar to plan and schedule their days, weeks, etc. and people that write things down on a "to do / chore" list are generally much more successful at getting things accomplished.

Allowing yourself to be constantly interrupted or distracted by cell phone calls, texts, activities, or people unrelated to the task at hand will cripple productivity.  This is basic time management stuff that can be learned.

It's also critical to have the right tools, equipment, materials and a neat, organized work area to be effective at anything.



Iron Mike Sharpe

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #10 on: December 23, 2015, 12:49:37 PM »
Read some books about dealing with ADHD.

The_path_less_taken

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #11 on: December 23, 2015, 08:34:16 PM »
I think EVERYONE feels like that at some point or other.

Some (raises hand) combat it with chocolate.

But the endorphins from exercise/dancing/sex are a healthier alternative to chocolate....and don't lead to tooth decay.

I try and make the finish line in sight, followed by some sort of reward. "I will scrub everything in both bathrooms today, do laundry, and then watch Game of Thrones."

"I will paint the dining room, and take a long hot bath with my music turned up to 8. And there will be candles!"

Some people react better to the carrot versus the stick. You've tried beating yourself up over this, and obviously aren't happy with the outcome.

Maybe try some sort of reward system? On really discouraging days, I take stock of everything I managed to get done....when I list it all out there....sometimes it's enough.

If not, there is always tomorrow.


RonMcCord

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #12 on: December 23, 2015, 08:34:45 PM »
Also have you look into your levels of testosterone/ Testosterone is directly linked to "desire" and motivation. Men and women who are too low feel low desire to engage in life.Whatever it is, you don't have to feel this way.

I've thought I've had something similar and researched it once.  Only problem is that the acceptable range of testosterone is so wide (anywhere from 270-1070 ng/dL) that it's really difficult to find if your levels really are low or not. There are plenty of ways to naturally raise levels with changes in diet and exercise, but your levels have to be really low for a doctor to mediate.

whybe

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #13 on: December 23, 2015, 10:14:45 PM »
Have any of your therapists diagnosed depression?

Yes, mild.

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Letj

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #14 on: December 23, 2015, 10:52:41 PM »
Wondering how you keep yourself motivated. I'm 33 and since I was little I've had issues with what I call"my drive", as in - the desire to go school and invest effort to do well, the desire to follow through on a goal that would benefit me directly, the will to go to work (not that I ever ditched the office and gone walkabout), the point in investing in relationships etc...

I have been to 4 different therapists over the years, since I was 12,  and did many other types of workshops, coaching etc. to get myself going but can't seem to get the hang of life - it seems to overwhelm me very quickly to the point I say, "F this, I'm not playing anymore." It can be something at work, with people in school, family that I get fed up with...
How do you put your own goals at the top and keep them there? How do you not simply stop flapping about and just give up? How do you feel capable to tackle the day to day stuff in order to get to the other side? What's on the other side, come to think about it?

Do you have any substance abuse problems? Do you smoke marijuana? I know a number of people in your situation and many times it is related to marijuana use. For some reason it tends to kill their motivation and make them really chill. Some of them could not get through college or simply could not motivate themselves to even go. After seeing what zombie like state heavy marijuana use put them in I knew it was not for me.

Making Cookies

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #15 on: December 23, 2015, 11:15:18 PM »
I "fight" against two inner "demons".

One is that I am fairly introverted. Dealing with the world over the course of a day, a week or a month just sucks my energy away. Fortunately I can recharge at home around my family though I really look forward to an hour or so after the kids are in bed for awake but down time.

The other is a mental self-sabotage on projects where I don't think I can accomplish the level of perfection that I want to achieve. If it can't be perfect or if I don't think I know enough about the project - sometimes I just stop and ponder it - that means read, study it on the web and procrastinate some more. ;)

What do I do about it? More or less what others have instructed - little bite sized bits of progress. I'll give the project an hour a night. Progress will add up.

The lack of motivation for me (my situation) is just getting comfortable sitting on my backside watching TV or tapping away on the computer. Its easy. I am content doing it. I forget to get up and accomplish something real and not virtual. I try to put a time limit on these kinds of activities or the whole evening can slide by - and as an introvert this can be addictive - the recharging process in progress.

whybe

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #16 on: December 23, 2015, 11:31:34 PM »
What do you mean "can't seem to get the hang of life"? What is overwhelming? What are you "not playing anymore?"

Means I have been perplexed by the behaviour of people towards me and ended up hurt to the point I have a very low threshold for socialization and I see most of it as pointless.
I am also overwhelmed by stuff that I want to get done vs stuff that need to be done. So in the past I opted out of most things. * as a result I have built a lot of drag around me in many different forms, and I feel that in order to get to stuff I actually want to do I need to clear the other stuff first, but then i resentfully and angrily spend all my energy on that so no time or energy is left for the rest.

* - This included cleaning house and washing dishes, but also keeping myself from getting myself into business, going out, etc. Just kept telling myself it's not worth it and that I'm not worthy of the benefits anyway. This has taken me years of therapy to figure out how to stop. Recently I've stopped going because I moved away from my recent therapist and I was not feeling any progress or noticeable benefit from the sessions. Plus it was 1.6k a month to go see him which is wearing my budget down pretty thin.

whybe

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #17 on: December 23, 2015, 11:50:56 PM »
For those who asked about substance abuse, there's none, there never was. I was aware of my easily addicted personality and never let myself get into any habit. Hated cigarettes since age 0. There was for a time heavy porno usage but that's down as well for the past few years. No therapist had pushed anything on me.
I was never diagnosed with or suspected to suffer from ADD or ADHD.

Good advice on here. Thanks.

whybe

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #18 on: December 23, 2015, 11:59:11 PM »
Have you managed to feed yourself and keep a roof over your head? Maybe you have plenty of drive, but you perceive that you should have more. Which is a problem as well, but a different one.

Got a good point there. I do manage to feed myself and pay the rent through working, but sometimes it stops there. Can't be bothered to do more.

whybe

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #19 on: December 24, 2015, 12:01:58 AM »
I feel like you're not giving yourself enough credit. The fact you are writing on this post searching for something is already proof of having drive.

And yet here I am, with so much stuff to do and not enough will power or desire to do it. Can't see the point. I know this might come across as dark.

whybe

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #20 on: December 24, 2015, 12:06:51 AM »
What if my goals are unacceptable to my SO? As in, I'm interested in FIRE, she's against the  very idea.

What are your goals? Do you have any? It's understandable if you don't, most people really don't, they may have some thoughts about what they want, but have you actually written them down? If not, that's what I recommend you do over this weekend.


matchewed

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #21 on: December 24, 2015, 07:02:47 AM »
Yeah you need to be seeing a therapist again.

mastrr

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #22 on: December 24, 2015, 07:27:34 AM »
Wondering how you keep yourself motivated. I'm 33 and since I was little I've had issues with what I call"my drive", as in - the desire to go school and invest effort to do well, the desire to follow through on a goal that would benefit me directly, the will to go to work (not that I ever ditched the office and gone walkabout), the point in investing in relationships etc...

I have been to 4 different therapists over the years, since I was 12,  and did many other types of workshops, coaching etc. to get myself going but can't seem to get the hang of life - it seems to overwhelm me very quickly to the point I say, "F this, I'm not playing anymore." It can be something at work, with people in school, family that I get fed up with...
How do you put your own goals at the top and keep them there? How do you not simply stop flapping about and just give up? How do you feel capable to tackle the day to day stuff in order to get to the other side? What's on the other side, come to think about it?

Everyone has a set of personal values that are important to them (professional career, relationships, etc.).  These personal values range from being very important to not important.

When you set goals that align with your top personal values you will succeed because you will enjoy doing what it takes to achieve that goal.  However, when you set goals that don't align with your personal values you will likely quit and fail.

Don't set goals for yourself that other people or society thinks is important.  You will constantly let yourself down by quitting or failing.  Set goals that are important to you.

Lets say your personal value "professional development" is at the bottom of your list.  If you set a goal for yourself to be promoted you will likely fail or rationalize your way out of achieving that goal.

Basically find out what is important to you and set goals that align with that and you will succeed.

Making Cookies

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #23 on: December 24, 2015, 08:58:23 AM »
And don't set yourself up to fail. Reasonable goals, not CEO of the company or dictator of the country.

snogirl

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #24 on: December 24, 2015, 09:40:10 AM »
I would start small, like a daily gratitude list of 5 things.
5 Different ones everyday.
You only have to worry about today though...stay present just today :)
It can be anything you want, it is a personal list.
Write it in a small notebook.
Pick the notebook out yourself.
I keep mine in a "field notes" brand style notebook.
They are quality memo books, overpriced, but my splurge.
In that little notebook, I keep track of things, lists, goals, doodles.
It is my travel journal of happiness that I pay attention everyday.
Now not every day is gonna be perfect, so I just accept that & try to make the most of today.
When I get feelings like you describe, I envision a hallway with all kinds of doors of opportunities.
My good friends & people that care about me are in the hallway rooting me on.
It may seem silly, but that little daydream has a LOT of power.
So those are my suggestions.  :)

Lookilu

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #25 on: December 24, 2015, 10:41:51 AM »
Yeah you need to be seeing a therapist again.
^This. Please investigate ways to get some help. Group sessions are often less expensive and can be very beneficial. <hug>

DeltaBond

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #26 on: December 24, 2015, 04:00:35 PM »
OP, you're nickname on here says a lot.  "Why be?"  I don't think this is "mild" depression, and posts like this on the internet aren't going to be much help for you.  Sometimes, with depression  you have to "fake it till you make it", but if you are as suicidal as you're wanting to come off, you need to get  help, in person, now.

SimpleGuy

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #27 on: December 24, 2015, 07:01:15 PM »
OP - Check your vitamin D levels.  If you're deficient it can affect your mood.  Your levels should be at least 50 ng/ml.  Also, have you considered anti-depressants?  I'm not a big fan of pharmaceuticals but sometimes they're necessary.  I might not be here without them.

Teacherstache

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #28 on: December 24, 2015, 09:30:15 PM »
OP - Check your vitamin D levels.  If you're deficient it can affect your mood.

THIS!

I was extremely vitamin D deficient. It makes me not have energy to do things. With vitamin D supplements, I am "me" again.

whybe

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #29 on: December 25, 2015, 11:24:04 AM »
I take vit. D supplement, will check my vitamin levels.


OP, you're nickname on here says a lot.  "Why be?"

Thanks, this is a moniker I've been using for almost 2 decades, in various instances...
Not sure I've picked it at random, but didn't intend for it to be a sign of self harm.... Just my initials... Y B :-)

arebelspy

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #30 on: December 25, 2015, 12:26:51 PM »
For me, the reason why I want to retire early is because I have no inner drive to work.

+1.

I can relate very well, OP.

I have no motivation lots of times.  Now, in FIRE, I sit around a LOT.  I nap.  I play some video games.  But *, my productivity is pretty close to nil.

My wife is similar, but I'm probably the laziest person I know, and a huge procrastinator.

I wanted to FIRE so I could be lazy.  No having to work.  No having to do anything, really.

I work on changing that, sometimes, but it's difficult.

Are you happy though?  That's a big question I'm surprised no one has asked yet.  Many have asked the opposite, if you're depressed, and you said a therapist in the past has diagnosed mild depression, but what about now?  Are you happy?

Because you can be lazy, and reach FIRE, and be happy.  The lack of inner drive isn't a show stopper for either of those two things.

In fact, it can be an asset.

My wife and my motto while we were working: Work hard now so we can be lazy later.

It pushed us a bit.  We still had it pretty cushy, but at least it motivated us a bit, where our inner drive didn't.

Do you have goals or dreams for anything?
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and are now settled with three kids.
If you want to know more about us, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out our Now page to see what we're up to currently.

whybe

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #31 on: December 26, 2015, 06:58:58 PM »
Goals & dreams... Well, having discovered FIRE it has become a certain goal. My life situation is unwelcoming of this dream at the moment, meaning DW is 100% against it. The very topic is currently in the NO-FLY list. I can go into the reasons, but for the most part it is my inability to communicate the issue (she read a bit about the subject but was disinterested very quickly) in a "sure we can do it without living in poverty" sort of way.

So do I have another goal if this one is taboo? Don't know. I'm in a rut career wise but don't know where I want to go and how to get there. Also there is the issue of income while I transition out which I am unsure of.

Another issue that resonates with something earlier on this thread - values that drive your goals. I feel that I am not going with my values since I don't know what they are   anymore.

arebelspy

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #32 on: December 26, 2015, 07:10:12 PM »
Work on communicating it then. Express that it's important to you, and that you feel like you haven't communicated it well, and you'd like to discuss it. Don't get emotional.

Definitely work on figuring out your values.  How you want to live (principals) is as important, or more, as how you want to live (day by day practicalities).
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and are now settled with three kids.
If you want to know more about us, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out our Now page to see what we're up to currently.

Gone Fishing

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #33 on: December 29, 2015, 03:13:01 PM »
You bring up an interesting (and possibly common) thought process- some people equate wealth building with poverty because current spending drops.

Even if your wife is 100% against it, you can go ahead and make a few changes that will probably not affect her at all.  Push your 401(k) contributions up a few percentage points, re-shop services, watch your spending carefully.  If you are in a 2 car household, one of the cars is probably considered to be yours, if it is, make sure it is optimized, if not sell it and buy another.  If you are outsourcing things like car/home repair, lawn maintenance, etc., take over the duties.  Cook more. Pack your lunch. Ride a bike instead of driving.  If you have been living a typical middle class American life, there is probably a ton of fat( wasted spending) that can be cut without even noticing.

Even small changes in trajectory will make a big difference a decade or two down the road.  Leading by example is also a very powerful motivator.   Once those balances start growing out of sight, maybe her opinion will change. The forum is covered with people that have had varying degrees of success convincing their SO's about FIRE, compromise is common.  Personally, my wife's only about 80% on board and will continue to work part-time after I FIRE to satisfy her personal need to "contribute". There are all sorts of ways to make it work, just take your time figuring it out, it doesn't have to all happen today.         

bryan995

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #34 on: December 29, 2015, 10:27:59 PM »
Maybe you need smaller, attainable mini-goals.
These can act as a motivating/positive force!

You can always try something like St Jon's Wart as well.
In fact a lot of body building supplements add SJW to boost the athletes mood during exercise, if you have ever taken those before, then you've already tried SJW.
SJW has been used to fight very mild chemical imbalances (depression/anxiety) for many years. Google it.

whybe

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #35 on: December 29, 2015, 11:24:37 PM »
You bring up an interesting (and possibly common) thought process- some people equate wealth building with poverty because current spending drops.

Even if your wife is 100% against it, you can go ahead and make a few changes that will probably not affect her at all.  Push your 401(k) contributions up a few percentage points, re-shop services, watch your spending carefully.  If you are in a 2 car household, one of the cars is probably considered to be yours, if it is, make sure it is optimized, if not sell it and buy another.  If you are outsourcing things like car/home repair, lawn maintenance, etc., take over the duties.  Cook more. Pack your lunch. Ride a bike instead of driving.  If you have been living a typical middle class American life, there is probably a ton of fat( wasted spending) that can be cut without even noticing.

Even small changes in trajectory will make a big difference a decade or two down the road.  Leading by example is also a very powerful motivator.   Once those balances start growing out of sight, maybe her opinion will change. The forum is covered with people that have had varying degrees of success convincing their SO's about FIRE, compromise is common.  Personally, my wife's only about 80% on board and will continue to work part-time after I FIRE to satisfy her personal need to "contribute". There are all sorts of ways to make it work, just take your time figuring it out, it doesn't have to all happen today.       

I'm not a US citizen, but most of what you are talking about is already happening. We have moved farther away from my job recently (to get closer to hers) and had to buy our first car, which I use 3 to 4 times a week to drive the 40 minutes to and from work. We live in an apartment close to the center of a small town. I got a bicycle after we moved, and use it whenever I can to get around. If DW comes with me we take the car as she won't get on a bike, even if she were riding her own (it "makes her sweat"). We do a lot of cooking ourselves, prepping 1.5 weeks or so of meals every session. Most of our shopping is basic ingredients, only packaged food we buy is soft cheese and cereal that DW eats (I'm vegan). We eat out more than I'd like, i think it's not more than three times a month, but I haven't been tracking. We both pack lunch to work. Bills can of course be optimized more, I am aware. Afraid to touch them more than I already have in fear of incurring more resentment for taking away creature comforts. We have a big discussion on buying more food in bulk (especially dry stuffs, DW is terrified of bugs after she had an infestation in her apt. before we moved in together)  and how to store it.

You can always try something like St Jon's Wart as well.

SJW has been used to fight very mild chemical imbalances (depression/anxiety) for many years. Google it.


I know of SJW, had it recommended by one therapist but never got around to taking it. Again had trouble communicating my intentions and it blew up in my face. So I dropped the idea.


To myself I'm starting to sound like a real complainypants... But I feel this is one situation I can't get out of.

hlca

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Re: Problems with my inner drive
« Reply #36 on: December 30, 2015, 06:34:11 PM »
Here are some of mine for examples.

Read at least 52 books in 2016, this is an annual goal and I've done a good job of exceeding it for the past 4 years.
I started Muay Thai and BJJ, I want to be asked if I want to start sparring in Muay Thai by June of 2016.
My house is empty besides me, I would like to have two roommates by June of 2016.
Longer-term, I would like to hit FIRE by the age of 37 (I'm 28).


Hey MgoSam -- do you want to start sparring in Muay Thai?

You can now cross that off your list!  You're welcome!