First, look at the investment order post stickied in investor alley, which is probably why you're not getting responses there.
https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/investor-alley/investment-order/To answer your questions:
1 - Invest your 401k where you have the least fees for the investments of your choice. That's probably in your 403b, as governments tend to be able to invest a sufficient amount of money to get the lowest fees. But don't take my word for it, go check.
2 - See investment order and keep some as an emergency fund. Invest the rest according to the order. If you aren't already maxing your 403b, you could do so and treat this as a replacement for the income you'd otherwise need in order to get it in a tax advantaged account.
3 - Figure out how you think you're going to get to your goal in five years. You're spending about $20k per year of $45k before taxes, so presumably you're saving under $25k. You'll be paying FICA at least. Let's say you're both saving and spending $20k, and thus at a 50% savings rate, which shouldn't be too far off if you're maxing your tax advantaged accounts. The shockingly simple math suggests you'll be financially independent in 17 years.
There are confounds. If you have a pension, you should be able to get your contributions to it back when you quit, though you'll be taxed on that lump sum. Still, that's money that adds to your FI balance. Your spending will go down once your debts are paid. Though if you're going off spending, you're probably missing long term items, like replacing your vehicle at some point, that will bring that number up.
If you want to be FI in 5 years, you need above an 80% savings rate (if you start from $0). So you either need to spend way less (not likely easy), make more money (about $102k after taxes for current spending), adjust your timeline, or do some combination of these. Or you may choose to make the leap to your side gig and real estate before you're FI.