Author Topic: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc  (Read 19010 times)

ETBen

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I will very likely be getting a job offer.  My current job is meets all of my expectations, I enjoy it, the commute is good.  However the program is uncertain and when they do cut us (probably in the next 12months), there will be 20 of me out there competing for jobs.  Plus many of the staff we employ that would be competitors also for jobs.  I'm very marketable in the business arena, but not the traditional healthcare set b/c I don't fit the mold for nursing leadership. 

New job Pros:
- dream job to create the program
- focus solely on the program and staff (and massive growth), rather than 3 different focuses in my current role. 
- they want me badly.  They've admitted they can't fill it with the right person and have been fawning all over my skill set.
- no evening meetings, which are a regular in my current and a problem as a single mother to work around

Uncertainties:
- the seem wiling to meet my total comp and salary expectations, but not certain yet
- Job title.  They know the minimum title I will accept in order to jump
- They want to execute and perfect it here, then replicate in 2 other markets.  Having done this, I'm uncertain that they know what they are getting into.  They have excellent resources and commitment to support it, well positioned.  But I don't think they fully know what they want me to deliver on, rather what that looks like. 

The Commute:
- I live in suburban Maryland
- this is in Northern Virginia
- That's not uncommon around here though.  I've just never done it.  I drive all over for work now but it's at my schedule and reimbursable.
- It's 40 miles and 50 minutes without traffic
- Its 1.5hours on the return trip with an accident and construction
- My car averages 36 mpg
- Metro is an option but takes longer on average
- remote working is an option but I am unsure what they will accommodate and will know more this week. 
- but no evening meetings which are difficult for me to accommodate and cost me extra for babysitting.

wintertell

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2016, 07:30:00 PM »
Hey -- I've done this for two years and the commute was super tough. I recently got a job in DC proper just to cut my commute down to 1hr 10 min from that 1 1/2 hour-2 hr commute and won't accept an offer in Northern Virginia again. My whole life revolved around my commute. The problem was that the bad days were very, very bad. If there was a wreck on 695, forgettaboutit. So hard to get to work, lik ein the 2+ hours range. I even telecommuted 2 days/week, but it wasn't enough to make up for the very bad days. This is probably not what you want to hear?

Rather that go off of my advice, plan on going in late to your current job one day. Try for a Wednesday... DC traffic sucks on Wednesdays. Don't go on a Friday when traffic is light. Then actually drive what your commute will be at the time you would be leaving. If it is more than 1 hr 10 min, don't do it. 

2Birds1Stone

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2016, 07:46:21 PM »
Commuting sucks, and this is from someone who drive 15-20 min to work and 30-35 min home. My best days are 45 minutes total in a car and worst are about an hour, usually somewhere in between.

I can't imagine commuting 2.5-3 hours a day. That's 50-60 hours a month + the cost of gas/maintenance/depreciation/opportunity cost etc etc.

For me to do that I would need (no exaggeration AT LEAST a 100% increase to my income, which is already low 6 figures) and even then I would probably get burned out VERY FAST. 

Dee18

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2016, 07:55:36 PM »
I've been a single mom for 19 years and a key way I made it work was by limiting my commuting time. I second the advice to actually try the commute on a workday...especially the afternoon route as it's so stressful to be late picking up your child.  Also, I remember that I thought it would be great when I didn't need a babysitter because she would be old enough to stay alone, but when that age comes it's almost harder because you don't want them alone and lonely with too much teen angst...or getting into trouble  from being unsupervised.  So I'd only take the job if I were willing to move.

ETBen

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2016, 07:59:22 PM »
These are things I'm definitely feeling or worried about, so the input is good. I wish the job sucked or they weren't so actively pursuing me.

I think the most I could handle is 2 days per week of that commute. I can easily put 80-100 miles in a day in my current job. Although its much less now. But I was able to time it all for what worked for me.

Ive always thought people who did huge commutes were crazy.  Now I'm torn.

ETBen

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2016, 08:01:54 PM »
I've been a single mom for 19 years and a key way I made it work was by limiting my commuting time. I second the advice to actually try the commute on a workday...especially the afternoon route as it's so stressful to be late picking up your child.  Also, I remember that I thought it would be great when I didn't need a babysitter because she would be old enough to stay alone, but when that age comes it's almost harder because you don't want them alone and lonely with too much teen angst...or getting into trouble  from being unsupervised.  So I'd only take the job if I were willing to move.

Good point.  Also of they get sick and I need to pick them up.  I did then drive home at 4 today.  It sucked.

GhostSaver

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2016, 08:04:19 PM »
I lived and worked in DC for years.

There's no way I would sign up for that commute. are you talking about driving over the bridge from Bethesda to Fairfax County? Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. I don't think I could tolerate it.

ETBen

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #7 on: April 25, 2016, 08:10:20 PM »
I lived and worked in DC for years.

There's no way I would sign up for that commute. are you talking about driving over the bridge from Bethesda to Fairfax County? Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. I don't think I could tolerate it.

Yep, that's it. What if it was 2-3 days per week? 

I also now drive a manual, which made it a whole new other experience.

wintertell

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #8 on: April 25, 2016, 08:13:31 PM »
I telecommuted 3 days a week for a while (So 3 days telecommute, 2 days commuting) and it still sucked to the point where my whole life squeezed in around work.  But it was tolerable. (I did gain a ton of weight though!)

Then my boss changed his mind and then I was back to 3 days commuting, 2 days teleworking and I just couldn't handle it.

And my commute was <30 miles.

Unless it is in your contract, telecommuting arrangements can change. Location doesn't.

It sucks, but I just don't think it is feasible with DC traffic.

2Birds1Stone

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #9 on: April 25, 2016, 08:16:13 PM »
WHY WON'T YOU MOVE?!?!?!

If I had a dream job offer, and you are seriously considering that commute......


Shit, I would pay an extra $2000/month in living expenses VS. that commute.

What are you options there?

ETBen

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #10 on: April 25, 2016, 08:17:43 PM »
WHY WON'T YOU MOVE?!?!?!

If I had a dream job offer, and you are seriously considering that commute......


Shit, I would pay an extra $2000/month in living expenses VS. that commute.

What are you options there?


I don't want to pull my kids from their school, I prefer the lifestyle here.  Also, it would be an issue with their father and custody arrangements

wintertell

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #11 on: April 25, 2016, 08:18:36 PM »
WHY WON'T YOU MOVE?!?!?!

If I had a dream job offer, and you are seriously considering that commute......


Shit, I would pay an extra $2000/month in living expenses VS. that commute.

What are you options there?

TRUE. You moving instead of the job moving would solve the dilemma.

ETBen

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #12 on: April 25, 2016, 08:27:17 PM »
It seems the general consensus is that its crazy!  which I suspected.  sigh, back to the drawing board.

BlueHouse

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #13 on: April 25, 2016, 08:28:10 PM »
my longest commute was 29 miles in this area, and while I got into the groove, I also got road rage and figured I was an accident waiting to happen. So for me, it made sense to move. Will the new purple line help?  I know not for a while.
Will you take the beltway to the toll road?  Or to 66? 

Do not go through DC. Maryland drivers have no business using my city as a pass-thru to Va. (I've become a bit territorial in my new city, so just be glad I'm not commuting on the road next to you -imagine my rage at a mad driver in Va!  Whew, so glad I'm done with that.

mozar

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #14 on: April 25, 2016, 09:06:30 PM »
Well my dad did Baltimore to Northern Virginia for 10 years. It was marc-vre though. Bethesda to Fairfax is basically the worst commute in the region. There's no way to metro? Can you ask for your telework days to be tuesday and wednesday and thursday?

Also consider this: once you get a NoVa job, you might be stuck working NoVa jobs forever. I know it's a weird thing to say but there's this weird vortex thing where it's hard to get jobs elsewhere once you go down the NoVa path. That's why I always categorically refuse NoVa jobs. My dad is stuck in this vortex right now. At least he lives in NE dc now, but can't afford to move near his job still.

VaCPA

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #15 on: April 25, 2016, 09:09:42 PM »
It seems the general consensus is that its crazy!  which I suspected.  sigh, back to the drawing board.

I live in DC area(Northern Va). I commuted to MD for 6 years for a great opportunity and while it wasn't ideal it was manageable. Your commute would be longer than mine but people do it, you just have to know going in it will be painful at times. This really would have to be a dream job to consider it though.

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #16 on: April 26, 2016, 04:56:03 AM »
I couldn't handle that. Maybe you're stronger than me but that is a harsh commute you're looking at.

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #17 on: April 26, 2016, 06:17:30 AM »
I'll echo the others here--You're nuts if you think this is going to be a pleasant commute.  You'll hate the job in a year due to all the commuting.  I grew up in Columbia, MD and my parents have commuted into DC for 30+ years.  They always used to leave the house by 6 (to beat the traffic), and come home around 7 (after sitting in traffic for 3 hours). 

Is that a lifestyle that you want to live? I'm sure they thought they were doing us a favor by keeping us in our schools, but I'm thinking that they would've been a lot happier if they had gotten home after a 10 minute commute instead of a multi-hour one.

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #18 on: April 26, 2016, 06:28:15 AM »
I feel for you, as I'm in the same area and currently weighing a very similar potential new commute.  I am evaluating the job while also evaluating a potential move, because I don't think I am willing to do that commute every day for years to come.  Would moving even marginally closer be an option for you?  Some kind of  midway compromise?

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #19 on: April 26, 2016, 07:03:26 AM »
I live in the area. The commute would be difficult. You point out that you current job is likely to be eliminated? If so then it might be necessary to take this job? I wonder about working flex hours, like arriving at 0600 or 1000 leaving by 1500, teleworking full or partial days. Basically arranging your schedule around not driving in rush hour.

norabird

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #20 on: April 26, 2016, 08:11:56 AM »
I just took a job that will be a steady 1.5 hour commute each way, because I bumped against a ceiling where I am now, so I don't think it's out of the question. but that's a public transit commute so none of the traffic issues. Maybe say no to this opportunity and keep looking?

patchyfacialhair

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #21 on: April 26, 2016, 08:22:42 AM »
- Metro is an option but takes longer on average

Easy for me to say as an internet stranger, but if you're locked into your current location, don't forget to account for the extra work, reading, or listening you can do on the Metro, even though it's longer door-to-door (you didn't say how much longer).

That being said, I have no children so I'm not sure how my response would change if I did.

mlejw6

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #22 on: April 26, 2016, 10:06:34 AM »
- Metro is an option but takes longer on average

Easy for me to say as an internet stranger, but if you're locked into your current location, don't forget to account for the extra work, reading, or listening you can do on the Metro, even though it's longer door-to-door (you didn't say how much longer).

That being said, I have no children so I'm not sure how my response would change if I did.

This is what I was thinking. A metro commute is long and also crowded, but at least you can relax part of the time. Would your future employer reimburse for metro expenses? That would help ease the commute costs, even if it doesn't help the time issue.

mm1970

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #23 on: April 26, 2016, 11:29:26 AM »
Oy, I haven't lived in the DC area in a long time, but I wouldn't do that commute.  I have a friend who lived in MD and commuted to NoVa for years.  Horrible and soul sucking.

I would maybe consider it 2 days a week, tops.  (So if you could telecommute?)

But I would also consider moving. Even if you had to pull the kids out, and negotiate with their dad.  But then, it would probably mean...try out the job with a 2x a week commute first, after awhile decide if it's worth moving...

MacGyverIt

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #24 on: April 26, 2016, 07:10:32 PM »
WHY WON'T YOU MOVE?!?!?!

If I had a dream job offer, and you are seriously considering that commute......

Shit, I would pay an extra $2000/month in living expenses VS. that commute.

What are you options there?

I don't want to pull my kids from their school, I prefer the lifestyle here.  Also, it would be an issue with their father and custody arrangements

When does the school year end? (asks the guy with no kids)

What lifestyle will you have if your work day is 8+ hours and a possibly 3 hour commute? I keep reading phrases like "soul sucking", will you have time and energy left at the end of your work day for the kids?

No idea or suggestions on custody, only that in the DC/VA/MD this probably happens all the time given the proximity of the states/district? This also sounds "soul sucking"... :-/

pbkmaine

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #25 on: April 26, 2016, 07:20:17 PM »
1) I have family in DC and used to travel there for business. What you are describing makes my former 3 hour round trip commute into NYC look like a walk in the park. I don't think you can do this with kids.

2) Are you able to have an honest discussion with your ex about this? That input might be valuable.

Jacana

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #26 on: April 26, 2016, 07:40:46 PM »
I did Germantown to Fairfax. It sucked. Mornings weren't too bad since I left at 6am. Evenings sucked really bad. I left at 4:30 every day and would sometimes not get home til 7 if there was an accident or anything. Worst day was 3.5 hrs home; I ended up going through DC past the Mall just to make it. Sorry BlueHouse, believe me I didnt want to be there any more than you wanted me there. That was about 6 years ago. I wouldn't do it again.

ETBen

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #27 on: April 26, 2016, 08:06:16 PM »
If anything, this and more changes at work today  have kicked me into gear about finding something closer.  If its 2 commuting days per week and the comp is awesome, I would consider it. Drive 8-930 and leave at 4.

I should add, if I do the commute, then I wouldn't extend my work day from the kids. I'd still drop off at 8 and pick up by 530.  But then work would spill over into evenings, which I generally try to avoid.

BlueHouse

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #28 on: April 26, 2016, 08:27:50 PM »
I did Germantown to Fairfax. It sucked. Mornings weren't too bad since I left at 6am. Evenings sucked really bad. I left at 4:30 every day and would sometimes not get home til 7 if there was an accident or anything. Worst day was 3.5 hrs home; I ended up going through DC past the Mall just to make it. Sorry BlueHouse, believe me I didnt want to be there any more than you wanted me there. That was about 6 years ago. I wouldn't do it again.
Well, that does say something about the traffic on the beltway doesn't it?  If a better option than a roadway that was built just to avoid the city is to drive smack dab into the middle of tourist-heaven on the National Mall, then yes, traffic sucks big time! 
And no worries Jacana, my road rage is gone now and I can cope better. :).

Jacana

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #29 on: April 27, 2016, 06:59:32 AM »
I did Germantown to Fairfax. It sucked. Mornings weren't too bad since I left at 6am. Evenings sucked really bad. I left at 4:30 every day and would sometimes not get home til 7 if there was an accident or anything. Worst day was 3.5 hrs home; I ended up going through DC past the Mall just to make it. Sorry BlueHouse, believe me I didnt want to be there any more than you wanted me there. That was about 6 years ago. I wouldn't do it again.
Well, that does say something about the traffic on the beltway doesn't it?  If a better option than a roadway that was built just to avoid the city is to drive smack dab into the middle of tourist-heaven on the National Mall, then yes, traffic sucks big time! 
And no worries Jacana, my road rage is gone now and I can cope better. :).

Glad to hear it! When we head to DC now, I promise it is merely as annoying tourists on weekends. My road rage disappeared too, since we've moved to the blissful countryside. Now my biggest obstacles are tractors, and I laugh when I get stuck behind them.

ETBen

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #30 on: May 09, 2016, 08:21:33 PM »
So.... better option presented itself!

I wanted the job at the interview.  And then I had to drive home and it took forever!.  And now they want me to return for another 3 hour round and present my work. 

I got a call today for another competitor!  Same kind of setup with oversight of the entire midatlantic, but office is 2 miles from my home. Job is a Director not a VP, but more conducive to family life and easier.  Sometimes easier is good.  I could use a break.  It will pay less than the other position but as long as its above my current by even a small amount, its much better work life balance.

norabird

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #31 on: May 09, 2016, 08:22:19 PM »
Awesome!

wintertell

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #32 on: May 10, 2016, 08:32:51 AM »
That is wonderful! You will also have the added financial benefit of lower commuting costs (gas, vehicle maintenance) as well as the time benefit ( probably pay less for childcare and less likely to spend on convenience because more time free).

So I bet it will end up being a bigger financial gain than just the raise. Though I understand the importance of salary and career growth!

ETBen

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #33 on: May 10, 2016, 04:41:06 PM »
I have trouble with being "normal". I always push for the biggest challenges and to be the best. I need to realize that it isn't always conducive to family life AND that it's possible to feel just as satisfied.

My current job (when they don't have me doing 3 people's jobs and we are under threat of shutting down) offers the same kind of flexibility and reimbursements for driving. This is a larger territory but I have no problem with traveling for work as long as it's not long hours.

wintertell

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #34 on: May 11, 2016, 07:09:29 AM »
I have trouble with being "normal". I always push for the biggest challenges and to be the best. I need to realize that it isn't always conducive to family life AND that it's possible to feel just as satisfied.

My current job (when they don't have me doing 3 people's jobs and we are under threat of shutting down) offers the same kind of flexibility and reimbursements for driving. This is a larger territory but I have no problem with traveling for work as long as it's not long hours.

I get this drive to always push myself and be the best I can be. I'm the same way in that I care about these things, even when it requires tradeoffs of time. 

But if this hits many of the boxes on the checklist of an acceptable job and it is easier on you as a single mom, it might be the right next step.

Would it be a lateral move or a step down in terms of career? A lateral move is not so bad, especially if you could still get a 10% salary bump.
« Last Edit: May 11, 2016, 07:11:05 AM by wintertell »

starguru

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #35 on: May 11, 2016, 11:22:29 AM »

Just had a thought:  would it be possible to have a flexible schedule? say getting to the office by 7 and leaving by 2?  When I commuted from FF to Maryland

ETBen

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #36 on: May 11, 2016, 02:32:18 PM »
A few other things about the NoVa group has turned me off about them. I've decided not to pursue it.

The interview today was fantastic. I want this job. Like yesterday. And they definitely want me too. I need to interview with two of her superiors still. But as long as comp is good then the job, the work life balance, and the other perks are great.

ETBen

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #37 on: May 11, 2016, 03:03:29 PM »
OH!  AND I could bike there. It's walkable at 2 miles but not as safe bc there aren't sidewalks the whole way. So as of August I will be walking my kids across the street to school and possibly biking to work when I go to the office.

wintertell

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #38 on: May 11, 2016, 05:29:37 PM »
WHOOOO HOOOO!

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #39 on: May 11, 2016, 06:09:49 PM »
From the time my kids were 3/6.5 to when they were 8/11.5 ish, I was in a programmatic role that was well below my level of competency, but it made  my life much more workable (even though I had a hellish commute).  About three years ago I got bumped up in terms of responsibility but not official pay grade/salary. Workload and stress went through the roof.   If I had it to do over again, I don't know if I would make the same choice.  A lower-stress, lower-pay job while your kids are young is a very good thing.

I needed to read this because I am at this point! Thanks.

ETBen

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Re: weighing a job offer, commute (DC folks input welcome!), time, etc
« Reply #40 on: May 11, 2016, 06:22:56 PM »
From the time my kids were 3/6.5 to when they were 8/11.5 ish, I was in a programmatic role that was well below my level of competency, but it made  my life much more workable (even though I had a hellish commute).  About three years ago I got bumped up in terms of responsibility but not official pay grade/salary. Workload and stress went through the roof.   If I had it to do over again, I don't know if I would make the same choice.  A lower-stress, lower-pay job while your kids are young is a very good thing.

I'm heavily leaning towards the better work life balance now, like you did. Like better than I even have now. I have a lot of flexibility but the stress is ridiculous. This is more manageable. I suspect it will be a small pay bump which is fine with me for my sanity.