The Money Mustache Community

Learning, Sharing, and Teaching => Ask a Mustachian => Topic started by: khnyc on February 09, 2014, 08:52:32 PM

Title: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: khnyc on February 09, 2014, 08:52:32 PM
After numerous discussions with our parents we've finally agreed to register at a couple of places so their friends and our older relatives can purchase traditional wedding registry items for us. 

Three questions - which stores have you registered at and had a good experience (i.e. returns and exchanges when you realize not everything fits in your home)?

Which items do you use the most from your registry?

Which items do you use the least and suggest we don't even bother registering for? 
Thanks so much for your ideas and suggestions!!
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: NYCMiniBee133 on February 09, 2014, 10:01:15 PM has a registry option- it's nice since you can get super sensible things and it's all delivered to your house so no one has to schlep all the gifts from location to location (unless that's also part of the tradition and adds meaning to the exchange for your group)

No one I know uses the china or the funky gadgets that have one use (ie an avocado de-seeder or ice cream maker). Good luxurious bath towels and bed sheets. Duvets and comforters that will last you another 5+ years if your current are getting super ragged. A crockpot for meals neither of you has to do much work for. A really good skillet that cooks evenly is a maybe depending how much you cook. Spice set which is practical and will last for ages which you can put on your Mustachian bowl of lentils. Those have the feel of traditional wedding registry gifts that were the most practical amongst our set.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: fidgiegirl on February 09, 2014, 10:25:20 PM
Make it a brick and mortar option if it's mainly for older people.

That much said, register where YOU want things from, not where you think it will be easiest for people to go/use.  We did a registry at Target, thinking it would be easiest, and people mistakenly thought we loooooooved Target and we got a lot of gift cards.  We used all of them and were grateful, but should have just gone for whatever other place we truly would have liked to use.

We wanted few "things," so we also did one of those honeymoon registries, which I know is questionable etiquette-wise, but we did have a lot of people give us cash toward the honeymoon and had a ton of fun on a real blow-out trip that was a once-in-a-lifetime deal.

For as a big deal as the registry seemed when we got married (self-imposed pressure?  outside forces?  I can't remember), I was very surprised at how few people used it.  I usually stick closely to registries and thought others did, too, so we invested a lot of time and energy into ours, and then people mostly did the honeymoon one or got whatever "wrappable" gift they wanted. 

We are in the process of putting together a baby registry right now and it will not be exhaustive, just a guideline for those who are truly into registries and are stressed out without one.  We have about a dozen items on a SoKind Registry and another dozen or so items on a Target registry again - this time, we're cool, tho - we really do want stuff from Target.  ;)  A good side effect of putting it together is that even if we receive none of it, we have a shopping list, because this time, it's stuff we need for bambino, not just things that might be nice to have.

Target was good about the returns.  We returned a lot of stuff right away and I'm glad we did.  We had no guilt about doing that and kept only the items that would be useful, and they have been.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: Greg on February 09, 2014, 10:26:57 PM
We registered and Bed Bath and Beyond and found some stuff that was useful.  Go for very simple plain dishes for example, forego the fancy set.  Any small appliances are popular.  Also consider registering with a charity or two.  For instance or
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: HappierAtHome on February 09, 2014, 10:48:11 PM
We wanted few "things," so we also did one of those honeymoon registries, which I know is questionable etiquette-wise, but we did have a lot of people give us cash toward the honeymoon and had a ton of fun on a real blow-out trip that was a once-in-a-lifetime deal.

Technically all registries are treated identically for etiquette concerns, as in, they're potentially inappropriate whether they're for things or money or experiences. The etiquette issue is whether it's "push" or "pull" information, i.e. if you create a registry which, when asked, you can provide the details for, that's fine. Whereas correct etiquette is that you never, ever provide this information without being explicitly asked for it (because you should not be assuming you're getting presents). This includes providing registry information with your wedding invites.

That said - if your guests expect a registry and would be confused by the lack of one, I wouldn't be losing sleep over the etiquette issue (after all, making your guests comfortable is the guiding rule of good manners, and good manners trump etiquette every time). Personally I don't need anything I don't already have, so when I get married in about 18 months I'll be hoping my guests believe me when I say their presence is all I want.

TL;DR: do whatever will make your guests happy.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: mlipps on February 09, 2014, 10:51:34 PM
We only registered at amazon. My favorite things that we received from our registry are a collapsible colander, a gel mat, nice steak knives (not expensive), and a bread machine. All of those have made cooking nicer and while I may not have bought them for myself, they're nice. Just make sure you are realistic about what you can use and store.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: meteor on February 10, 2014, 01:14:30 AM
I would reconsider doing a registry.  Maybe you could tell your relatives to not get you anything if they feel they need a registry (they might as well just give you money).  I think registeries are a disturbing cultural trend that seems to think it's OK to pick out gifts for yourself and have other people foot the bill.

 Most people own way more than they need anyway.  When I got married I did not allow any gifts except greeting cards. I felt that if I couldn't afford to put a household together on my own, then I shouldn't be getting married and expecting others to do it for me.  Avoiding clutter and unnecessary consumer items will probably be the best thing for a happy marriage.

Sorry to be so firm about this, but I really think we should not continue this new trend for the sake of our planet and to keep our lives simple.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: iwasjustwondering on February 10, 2014, 07:34:42 AM
I use china all the time.  I have one set from when I was married, and one set that I inherited from my grandmother 10 years later.  China doesn't chip the way porcelain or ceramic does.  The main value in it is that it lasts a long time.  It's insanely practical.

I'm not a fan of registries (especially not of the "push" method of sharing info about them), but I think it's very nice for people to get gifts from relatives when they get married.  I like taking out a salad bowl or whatever and thinking of the person who gave it to me.  I don't think that fleeting acknowledgement of someone's presence in your life equates to being materialistic or intending to destroy the earth in your quest for material goods. 
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: Jules13 on February 10, 2014, 07:49:24 AM
I know what it's like when your parents want you to do something that you might not necessarily otherwise.  The one thing I wish I would have registered for was nice, plain white dishes that never go out of style.  I'm wanting to buy some now and a friend of mine has had her for over 10 years and they are still great.  Also, some nice knives, like another said.  Towels, stainless steel pots/skillets, a wok (we still use ours after 10 years).  I also registered for different things, like an Atlas and a wedding album, that I knew I wanted.  I've also seen where people register for tools, which I also think is awesome for DIYers!  I would suggest stores like Target or Bed, Bath and Beyond since they are all over, but I also love Crate and Barrel and William-Sonoma for kitchen stuff.  I love the Amazon idea too.  People like to buy gifts and want to buy you something that you want. I hate the idea of buying "something" if I don't really know what they want.  I'm always afraid they either have one already or won't like it.  I'd much rather buy something I know they want so I know my money isn't wasted!  I don't think it's bad etiquette unless you advertise it in your invites.  I admit, that makes me cringe.  It should always be word of mouth. Congrats on your impending nuptials! 
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: Hedge_87 on February 10, 2014, 08:08:21 AM
I fought the gift registry tooth and nail. Same with our wedding getting blown out of proportion. Family can be very pushy. We registered and bed bath and beyond and went from 50 guest to 250. Ugh!
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: ritchie70 on February 10, 2014, 08:35:47 AM
We registered at Sears and Kohl's when we got married in 2000.

My grandpa got us a gas grill that we're still using (with several parts having been replaced over the years.) We registered for a bunch of oddball stuff, but we were both adults with households already. We did get some glass bake ware and so forth that gets a lot of use.

On china, we have some, we bought it for ourselves, and we use it maybe a dozen times a year. Most of it we bought at retail, then I filled in off eBay with a big box full of what I suspect were factory seconds because of minor scratches and painting issues. You can't tell the difference with food on them.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: SunshineGirl on February 10, 2014, 08:55:36 AM
I just contributed to a honeymoon registry and LOVED the fact that I could! It enabled me to give the couple an experience vs. a thing.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: FI@2022Jem on February 10, 2014, 04:39:40 PM
We registered because of family pressure as well.  Most used item: a good blender!
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: lifejoy on February 10, 2014, 06:50:45 PM
This site looks interesting:
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: fidgiegirl on February 10, 2014, 07:02:18 PM
This site looks interesting:

We just used it for a baby registry.  It was slick and allowed us to say that secondhand is ok for us, as well as ask for things like meals.  We will see if people use it, but for setting it up, it felt a lot less "gimme" than a typical registry.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: LouisPritchard on February 10, 2014, 07:35:47 PM
We had good luck with bed bath and beyond.

Most used things have been pots and pans and kitchen utensils. We got a few pieces of the calphalon commercial anodized aluminum stuff and it is awesome (but not available at BBB). Also got some nice heavy stainless stuff with the copper core bottoms.  Also spatulas and wooden spoons and the like are in constant use.

The least used has been the little random gadgets. We have a wine chiller that's never been used. As well as an electric skillet / griddle thing that's never been plugged in in 4 years. The $100 Belgian waffle maker has been used twice. We also have a few sets of mikasa glasses that have never been used as we end up using the 75 cent tea glasses we had before marriage and random plastic cups from delis and the like.

We also didn't get more than a couple sets of out china. It's waterford and I keep asking if I can sell it on ebay but she wont let me, yet (I'll talk her into it eventually). I think 1 or 2 place settings would pay for all the Mikasa she'd ever use.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: vivian on February 10, 2014, 09:07:34 PM
Before you set up a registry, look for online sites that allow guests to donate to charity and give a percentage of sales to charity. I forget the name of the site we used (sorry), but we set up registries at Target and Macy's through that site and a percentage of all sales went to charities we chose. Guests could also choose to give to charities we selected directly (I think a total of 3 did that option). Guests who wanted a brick and mortar store to get a more traditional gift could do so, but anyone who purchased online helped out a charity in the process.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: soccerluvof4 on February 11, 2014, 06:39:22 AM
 Bed Bath and Beyond would be my vote. (note to self check there stock I seem to really like that store). They just seem to have everything for couples of any age.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: kt on February 11, 2014, 06:59:52 AM
there are now some sites which just let you list items you'd like (including a link if appropriate) and let you guests comment when they've bought. this means guests do have to go buy the items but it does mean you are not limited to the kind of pricey shops and items which offers wedding registries. i'm considering doing this.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: clarkm04 on February 11, 2014, 07:08:52 AM
I got married summer '12.

Bed, Bath, Beyond - They are everywhere and we easily got the most stuff from any registry from BBB

Younkers - If you have one and don't laugh despite their rep for being for "old" folks.  Their kitchen stuff is top notch and they had the best customer service and policies including if you hit $1000 they gave you an extra 100 or 150 dollar gift card. 

Honeymoon registry - Being a slightly older couple with all the basic house stuff covered, this was a nice way to get some money for our European honeymoon.  Few used this, but it was still helpful.

The one we seriously considered and discarded was Target.  Very inflexible on return policies, so we never used them.  Plus, other friends who have used Target had terrible experiences.

Good luck!
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: tmd012 on February 11, 2014, 09:41:51 AM
We just got married back in August and we registered at Bed Bath and Beyond, Macy's and Kohl's.  I didn't think we needed so much crap but apparently most people would rather buy you "something" rather than just cut you a check.  With all of the showers my wife had we really needed a decently large registry. 

Kohl's was the absolute worst.  Let's say you put a fancy $49.99 blender on your registry.  Someone buys it for you for $49.99.  You then decide that your old crappy blender is fine because you never blend anything anyway so you go to return it.  Kohl's will only give you the lowest sale price in the history of that blender being at Kohl's minus any other % sales they have going on.  So you would only get like $25 back for it.  Even though you know Kohl's was paid $49.99.  That happened with just about everything.  We had to do Kohl's though because my wife has a bunch of family in rural Iowa and that is their go-to place.

Macy's was fine because they put a little mini barcode on each gift you receive so they can just scan it and know exactly what the person paid for it and refund you that exact amount.

Bed Bath and Beyond was the BEST.  I know that everyone who shops there uses the standard 20% off one item coupon that you get in the mail but they still refund you for the full amount of the item!  I swear we returned a cartfull of stuff and they were cool about it.  Here is a secret with BBB as well.  You can ask for a corporate check.  They won't tell you this and will try to offer you in store credit but all you have to do is ask for a check and in 1-2 weeks you get a check in the mail for the refunded amount.  That was a nice $1000 in the bank a few weeks after the wedding.

We didn't use target because my wife thinks they suck at letting you return stuff as well and only let you do a limited amount every year.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: CommonCents on February 11, 2014, 09:57:56 AM
BB&B for us as well

We could return/exchange easily (I returned a cutting board that came apart after a few months, though I haven't returned the shower curtain that started rusting and I should have (seriously folks, yes, there might be water on a shower curtain, might want to take that into consideration when designing).  We also took every single item and applied the 20% coupon to it, when the purchaser had not.  This allowed us to buy an All Clad pot set (using credit from exchanging a single pan received as well).

Most used items: Wusthoff knives (3 to supplement a set) and steak knives, All Clad pot set, shower liner
Next most used: Breadmaker, sheets (originally thought unneeded now, but our flannel set just died), iced tea maker (yes, we could make it w/o, but we didn't, and this was better than drinking coke all the time).

Least used: The odds & ends I put on the registry because I thought people would buy for a shower or to "fill up" the registry to their desired spending amount.  Other than one spatula/flipper, that was very useful.  The non-registry store items some people got us (wooden salad bowl set - no space in kitchen for and have tons from travels, pottery barn measuring cups in a shape of a turtle - pretty but hard to use, etc.).  Note, we loved the non-registry non-store items people got us (handmade caramel favors for our wedding, a rug from India, a box of 10 selected wines, our engagement party, etc.)

Now that we bought a house and have more space for entertaining, I intend to use the china more.  Also hope to use more of the slow cooker, blender, kitchen aid.  None have gotten as much use as they should have.  Read that I should get a second bowl for the kitchenaid, which I did, and that got no use.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: SweetLife on February 11, 2014, 10:57:51 AM
As we got married later in life we didn't do the registry idea ... what we did was say that we were planning on buying a house and that gift cards for Home Depot, Winners, Sears etc would be much appreciated ...

We got mostly gift cards (including and AWESOME one from the liquor store for $100 lol... enough wine to last us for months) :)

Best other gifts I we received that we still use and love 3 crystal candle holders very heavy and quite elegant looking.
TONS of picture frames ... so many that we still have some with no pictures as yet lol...,
A Henkyl knife set (very expensive but we use it every single day and they are WONDERFUL!!!) get the ones made in Germany not China!
One set of wonderful bedding (high thread count)
One set of pots and pans (very good quality - heavy/thick bottoms) you will use and love every day (if you cook)
Older generation: one set of family friends gave us a WONDERFUL recipe book (hand written) of family recipes handed down .... loved that
Handmade quilt ... keeps us warm and is lovely to look at!
Plus (in Portugal) we got hand embroidered table cloths but mostly cash

Enjoy the wedding !!! If you don't like china ... don't register for it ... register for things you will for sure USE ...
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: dumbblond on February 11, 2014, 11:25:13 AM
I see there are a lot of votes for Bed Bath & Beyond, and I agree. If I did it again, I would probably split between amazon and a store with a physical presence (would just do amazon, but we had a lot of older relatives so a physical store was a must). Like others have mentioned, BBB is great with their return polices, but I think most of the stuff is just so overpriced.

DH and I got married right out of scool so we didn't have anything...things we use the most are the staples: coffee maker, pots/pans, pyrex, knives, utensils, and dishes (one-color, not china...unfortunately starting to chip). Things we use the least: stand mixer (ymmv), picture frames, specialty dishes (chip/dip platters, etc).

One of the things I really appreciate when looking through people's registry is having items at a variety of prices. I'm not going to buy a really large gift for every wedding I'm invited to, and sometimes I would like to buy a few smaller things rather than one large thing.

Definitely in favor of registries, too. Gives me a way to show support while knowing what I'm getting is something the couple actually wants/needs. Without a registry, I don't always know what to get, and I don't like giving gift cards (too often judged on how much the card is for).
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: Rural on February 11, 2014, 01:29:31 PM
I've been grateful for years that we dodged the registry. We asked for donations in our names to the charity we were volunteering for when we met. Everyone thought that was just sooooo romantic, and so we were not bogged down with a pile of crap. We did get a wedding album from my mother and rocks from the old family homeplace from one elderly aunt. The rocks were the best gift ever, and there's one on my desk now.

Bonus: very, very few thank-you notes to write, since we don't know who gave to the charity and who didn't (though we heard from the charity, and they got a pile of money, apparently).
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: catccc on February 11, 2014, 01:36:10 PM
another vote for so kind.  I would have used it had I known about it (or had it existed?) when I got married, or for my baby.  I probably would have paired it with a more traditional registry (vote for bed bath and beyond) for those who were internet-challenged.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: SavingMon(k)ey on February 11, 2014, 03:42:18 PM
This site looks interesting:
+1. We're using it and it is working great! We put pictures up of a few things with the help of Google image.
Title: Re: Wedding registry ideas?
Post by: MayDay on February 11, 2014, 04:09:01 PM
I have known a few people register at rei.  See thing to consider if you are in to outdoor pursuits.  My sister and her now-xh (oops!) got equipped for camping from the ground up via their wedding registry. 

We did one local kitchen store, just to give local people a local option, and BBB.  8 years later and I haven't needed to buy sheets, towels, kitchen towels, etc.