How do you deal with buyers remorse?

[PoutineLover]

So yesterday I bought a new pair of jeans. My old black jeans recently wore out and had holes after several years of wear, and I wanted to replace them. I went to the store, tried on a few pairs for 20 and 40 dollars but they didn't fit properly or feel good. Then I tried on an $85 pair, and they felt great, and they're a brand and style I have bought before and know I like, and should last. So I bought them.
Now I'm wearing them, and I feel like I shouldn't have spent so much, I didn't need to replace my old jeans, maybe I could have fixed them, etc. Am I beating myself up too much over a purchase? Many of my clothes are second hand or I've had them for a long time, and I also got a pair of leggings on sale for $5 at the same time (also needed), so on average I got good value. I wish I could be totally happy with my purchase but I always feel guilty for spending more money than I strictly need to.

[ketchup]

You can't change what you did (assuming a return isn't an option), only what you can do going forward.  Sounds like you learned a lesson.  Apply it next time you find yourself in this situation.

Spending an extra $80 on a pair of jeans once isn't going to sink someone's financial ship.  A habit of frequently buying $80 jeans might.

[ltt]

It's really tough to find a pair of jeans that you like and fit great.  Keep the jeans and don't worry about it.

[marielle]

You can't change what you did (assuming a return isn't an option), only what you can do going forward.  Sounds like you learned a lesson.  Apply it next time you find yourself in this situation.

Spending an extra $80 on a pair of jeans once isn't going to sink someone's financial ship.  A habit of frequently buying $80 jeans might.

I agree with this. Every time you experience buyer's remorse, see it as a lesson that the amount you spent on the item isn't worth it. Eventually this will almost never happen because you learn what is worth a high price and what isn't in terms of happiness.

Another way to look at it is to try to get as much of that $85 out of the jeans as you can. Wear them all the time! Wear them with all your favorite clothes and shoes. When you dress nicer, find ways to incorporate those fancy jeans into the outfit.

[GoBigRed]

$80  is not something that I would beat yourself up about.  If this is happening on a weekly or monthly basis, sure, time to rethink your spending.  It appears to be a purchase you make every 3 years or so?  There is a good medium between depravation and being frugal. 

[Dave1442397]

I'd say if they last a long time, fit well and feel good, then they're worth the money.

Personally, I only buy LL Bean jeans when they're 20% off, but they're still $40 a pair.

My longest lasting jeans were a pair of Lee jeans that I bought in 1992 and just relegated to yard work when they ripped beyond repair last year.

[VeggieTable]

Agree with other posters that a one-time $80 purchase will not break the bank. But if you want to avoid in the future--

I keep receipts until the return date has passed, and keep the tags on clothes or any other new item as long as possible. Sometimes I'll wear a new clothing item around the house with tags on to make sure I *really* like it (though it's been a long time since I've bought anything but used clothes). I've become much more willing to return a purchase, even with tags off, depending on the store's return policy.

Also - a perk that many credit cards have nowadays is that you can "return" a purchase to the credit card company within 90 days for a full refund, even if you took the tags off, and even if the store's return window has passed. There's a dollar limit per year, but it's a nice option if you decide later on that you have serious buyers remorse.

[PoutineLover]

Thanks for all the input so far. I know that this $85 isn't the end of the world, it's just the most recent example. I want to be frugal and save more but there's always something that comes up, and this time it happened to be jeans. I wanted to save money and get a cheaper pair, but I know sometimes buying the more expensive better one is actually the right call, and there's no sense in buying pants I won't like. I think next time I'll take some more time before taking the tags off to make sure I really wanted it and it's the right fit and everything. Finding the right balance between taking care of my present self and saving for my future self is always a bit of a challenge for me, but I'm slowly figuring it out.

[ketchup]

Thanks for all the input so far. I know that this $85 isn't the end of the world, it's just the most recent example. I want to be frugal and save more but there's always something that comes up, and this time it happened to be jeans. I wanted to save money and get a cheaper pair, but I know sometimes buying the more expensive better one is actually the right call, and there's no sense in buying pants I won't like. I think next time I'll take some more time before taking the tags off to make sure I really wanted it and it's the right fit and everything. Finding the right balance between taking care of my present self and saving for my future self is always a bit of a challenge for me, but I'm slowly figuring it out.

This is very true.  If paying twice as much means an item lasts more than twice as long, or works more than twice as well, that can be a good call. 

It's when you hit the point of diminishing returns that getting the "better one" turns into a bad deal.  And that's different for everything and everyone.  For a schlub like me, I don't care at all what kind of mattress I sleep on, so a $200 mattress is as good as a $2000 mattress and getting the fancy one would be a waste.  But for someone with back issues, cheaping out there would probably be a mistake.  For a casual hobby photographer, a $500 camera might do the job significantly better than a $100 camera, and a $1000 camera wouldn't provide enough marginal utility to make sense.  But for a pro photographer, a $3000 camera can be worth it over a $1000 camera.

My current jeans have survived about two years on 90% daily wear, and about 40% daily wear for a year before that.  They're nearly worn out now and will have to be replaced as they're my last pair.  Luckily they were $5 from the thrift store so their price per wear is about a penny.  I'm also a common size and a 25 year old dude with no fashion sense (and a girlfriend that is willing to go to the thrift store with me once every few years so I don't embarrass myself), so I think it's appropriate.  Clearly this approach is not for everyone.

My point:  you have to know what "matters" to you, whether from a utilitarian perspective or simply preferences.  Too many people just like "nice things" and get the "nice" version of everything in their life without regard for what actually matters to them.  My household has thousands in computer and camera gear (my GF is the pro photographer and I'm the computer gearhead that keeps her stuff running), three chest freezers, and multiple raw-fed Australian Shepherds, but we also have a single cheap car (high-miles 2009 Hyundai), a much cheaper house than everyone I work with, healthy home cooked meals every day, and yes, thrift store clothes.