Author Topic: Uprooting my life for a career opportunity in another state. Pros and cons?  (Read 4926 times)

Proud Foot

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...I do feel like it is a "easy exit" as she put it. I feel like I would be running away from issues but it also sounds like a pretty good opportunity.

Break it off with her and then take this job. The job sounds like what you have expressed interest in from your other posts. As far as the easy exit, yes it will be much easier for you to move on and make progress with your life and move onto a relationship which will fulfill your needs. Having a large physical distance between you two will help keep you from holding back and dragging things out even longer with her. Having two friends already there will give you a big head start with moving on as they can introduce you to their friend groups and keep you moving forward.

lhamo

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You have an opportunity here to more than double your income and get on a fast track to career success.  Your GF is trying to guilt you about it.  She doesn't really love you.  If she really loved you she would want what is best for you, even if that means moving away from her.  She is selfish and immature and is holding you back.  I hope you will do what is right for you/your future and go your separate ways.

Miss Piggy

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This isn’t an easy exit, it’s a fabulous opportunity to jump start your career. Do it.

Even if you WEREN'T thinking hard about breaking up with your roommate, this is a fabulous opportunity to pretty much double your income (if you include the benefits you will now have). Opportunities like this don't come along every day. Do you have any idea how this will change the trajectory of your career and your FIRE plans? Your future self will be thanking you profusely for taking this chance.

Now, let's turn the tables and say you were thinking about getting married to current roommate at some point. Would that be a reason to not accept this gift that's being handed to you? I don't think so. Wouldn't you want to take a couple of years to give your career this tremendous boost?

caracarn

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So I am going to focus on the job.  I've not been up on the saga of the GF, but you have a lot of advice here.

I have worked in PM my entire career.  Make sure you truly understand what you are getting in to, and when you interview you should try to understand what the company really considers PMing, because most companies do it wrong and it makes for a miserable existence.  You want to make sure your boss clearly understands the art of project management and is not just a PMP who tries to drive by the book.  I have a PMP since 2002, so I understand the good and the bad of it.  Project management is a wonderful job if you enjoy it but can be miserable for someone who think it is just keeping track of a to-do list, because it will eat you up and spit you out.  You have to have excellent people skills, be able to read a room, adjust on the fly and bring a lot of examples to bear to make the client comfortable.  As a new PM this is tough so you need to get through that.  I love project management, and recently took a significant pay cut to step back into a 100% project management role, but there are guys on my team that dread some of the calls with customers.  You need a thick skin and most importantly you need to work for management that will listen when you say there is a problem and help you fix it and stand behind you when crap hits the fan, as it will, unless you are managing very tiny projects with few moving parts.

Happy to talk about any aspect of this type of role, so if you want more, let me know.

red_pill

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Fact: you've been looking for an out for years.  Here it is on a silver platter.  And you're turning your nose up at it because it's "too easy"?  Would a hard way out be more palatable to your honor?

And that line about running from issues?  Uh, some issues are worth running from, and as fast as possible.  Not everything needs to be (or can be) fixed.   

Bro, you better look around you at your life right now, because you're gonna be there forever.  That will be the penalty for being a coward.

Now, go read "Can't Hurt Me" by Navy SEAL David Goggins, grow a set, and take care of your business.

BicycleB

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Go!!!!!!!!!

PMs have to overcome a lot of emotional flak at work, operate decisively, get other people to cooperate. You may suck at all of these and fail in the job despite your education. It will still be the best thing in your life so far. Go!!!!!!!!!

PS. You will not always have good opportunities like this drop into your lap. GO.

Frankies Girl

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Oh for fuck's sake.

Dude. This is not running away from your problems. This is SOLVING YOUR PROBLEMS. This is the literal definition of the perfect answer to everything you've been not dealing with. Your horribly messed-up sexless relationship, your passivity and acceptance of playing the role of martyr, your dead-end job that isn't using your skills or challenging your intelligence or offering you a single rung up the ladder for advancement let alone reasonable pay, a change of scene, a chance to move to someplace where you already have friends and support system there and willing to give you a place to live and help you out and be social with you... great zombie jesus, do you want them to bake you a plate of cookies and give you a back massage in addition before you wake up and see this is the kind of opportunity that most people would kill for? This is the fucking Deus ex machina divine intervention that silly/great movie plots hinge on - you're not possibly going to pass this up are you?

Running away from your problems is EXACTLY WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST 7 YEARS. Despite the verb "running" indicating action, you've spent your entire relationship avoiding that giant Very Insanely Big Mess that is your romantic relationship. You've hidden from it, you've avoided it, you've bent yourself into stupid painful shapes pretending that everything is just fine, this is normal, stuff like this is totally okay and you are now numb and distanced from living a real, in living color and with all the amazing colors and sounds and feelings out there... because you've spent the time RUNNING AWAY FROM DEALING WITH IT.

Moving and taking this job is literally whatever higher power/deity/karma/clockwork that you may believe in handing you your golden ticket. This is your out. And it's "easy" like something easy is necessarily a bad thing? Who the fuck cares if it's easy - not that I think it is since we're talking uprooting your entire life and moving to someplace you never even considered before - but if you think this is easy, even better! You've been handed pretty-awful and stuffing down your wants/needs for years... you've earned "easy" at this point!

Do NOT let your girlfriend's pessimism and lack of support blind you to the fact that this is AMAZING opportunity. She is not considering you at all here (again). She is only concerned for her own self - she is selfish and self-centered and needs to grow up. I still don't think she's doing any of this intentionally, but until she gets her own head straight, she isn't fit to be in a relationship... and you are exactly the same. Sad thing is, you need to grow up too, and neither one of you are going to do any growing or maturing or working towards being really content/happy if you stay together. You need to leave. Hell, if you are that nervous, don't sell and just rent the house out, and promise yourself that if you hate San Antonio you can come back there in a year. But GO and commit to doing your damnest to having fun, growing up and work on you.

San Antonio is actually a pretty nifty place - GREAT food, fun stuff to do - amusement parks, sports, nature/state parks, RIVERWALK and FIESTA for the crazy party stuff, lovely people for the most part, museums, beautiful, old world buildings and lots of cool stuff a 20-something guy should be REALLY happy to experience. I personally think San Antonio is one of the best cities in Texas - I'm a transplant myself in one of the not so great cities - but I honestly can't see living anywhere else despite the slightly annoying "crazy Texan" personas you'll meet down here (they put the flag/lone star stuff on EVERYTHING. You'll be fine tho, promise). Heat sucks, but it's pretty nice in the winter months and just wear sunscreen/hats/drink lots of water and get in the shade or A/C if you start feeling too hot. Or go swimming. Or river tubing, or the many waterparks...

Just try it. Even if you hate it, give it one year. You get some space to find who you really are without being tied down to someone that was happy to cripple you emotionally/physically and get some great job and living experience and have the safety net of friends in the area.

Break up with your girlfriend, give her a few weeks to move out, then either put the house up for sale or rent it out. Do NOT contact your old girlfriend and make sure to block her on social media/phone. Do not call her/text/message her. Move to San Antonio and take that job. Date LOTS of different people. Do NOT start any new relationships other than casual stuff (no exclusive dating) for at least 6 months to a year. Get a counselor to work through the relationship stuff and your self worth and confidence.

You are worth more than what you are getting now - both in your career and in your relationship - please don't pass this opportunity up. Someone out there throwing you a lifeline while you're drowning. Just grab onto that rope and don't look back.
« Last Edit: June 24, 2019, 09:48:26 PM by Frankies Girl »

ysette9

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Standing ovation for FG. Only Laura33 could have put it better.

lhamo

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FG wins the internet today!

Dicey

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FG wins the internet today!
What else is new? Go, FG! What she said!!!

Cool Friend

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+1 for renting your house out as a great way to have a safety net if you're worried about regret.  If your relationship can't survive a year apart from one another, it sure as shit can't survive a marriage.

LittleWanderer

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FG wins the internet today!

Seriously.  So much this. 

Go, go, go!  This is not even a question.

Kris

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Go. 100% go.

mm1970

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Standing ovation for FG. Only Laura33 could have put it better.
Yes, +1

Quote
Dude. This is not running away from your problems. This is SOLVING YOUR PROBLEMS. This is the literal definition of the perfect answer to everything you've been not dealing with. Your horribly messed-up sexless relationship, your passivity and acceptance of playing the role of martyr, your dead-end job that isn't using your skills or challenging your intelligence or offering you a single rung up the ladder for advancement let alone reasonable pay, a change of scene, a chance to move to someplace where you already have friends and support system there and willing to give you a place to live and help you out and be social with you... great zombie jesus, do you want them to bake you a plate of cookies and give you a back massage in addition before you wake up and see this is the kind of opportunity that most people would kill for? This is the fucking Deus ex machina divine intervention that silly/great movie plots hinge on - you're not possibly going to pass this up are you?

This especially was glorious.

DeepEllumStache

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As far as a pro/cons list, I know SA pretty well (grew up there and spent a couple of years working in the city after college). It's a sleepy but vibrant city that wakes up for Fiesta and occasionally for some Spurs games. Other SA locals could probably expand on the list some more.

Pros for pursuing the San Antonio role:
  • Change
  • New job will likely be harder, complex, and more challenging
  • Training and certifications for an extremely marketable career so even if you don't like the location long term, you can take your training anywhere
  • Potential for huge future career and salary growth
  • Potential for personal growth
  • You know the CIO of this company and this CIO likes you... having an advocate high up in the food chain who likes you is HUGE, especially if that person's career is on an upwards trajectory
  • You have friends in the area which means you will have an easier transition than you think
  • If you hate shoveling snow or dealing with ice, you'll love winters in Texas
  • SA has all the benefits and amenities of a big city but feels a lot smaller
  • Relatively low cost of living in SA, even by Texas city standards
  • No state income tax in Texas - your stache will love you
  • HEB will become your new favorite grocery store (kind of jealous on this one)
  • You'll have easy access to all the fun things that happen in Austin and you can visit Buc'ees on the way up to marvel in the ridiculousness of it
  • The Hill Country is beautiful and you'll find good biking
  • Fiesta
  • Really good cheap tacos and margaritas
Cons with pursuing the San Antonio role:
  • Change
  • New job will likely be harder, complex, and more challenging
  • It will likely bring the relationship situation to a head, which you have put a lot of effort into to avoid
  • Summer is hot and lasts from May to October - you'll fully appreciate a/c and pools
  • SA is slightly humid - less than Houston but more than Dallas - which means the heat feels a bit more disgusting than a more dry heat
  • SA is car focused, public transit is somewhat anemic
  • Traffic is getting worse as SA grows so you'll have to target living within a few miles of work (but at least you're always within range of an HEB)
Change is hard but it also encourages you to make the decisions you need to make but try to avoid. When I was in my late 20s, I followed a job opportunity out of Texas and into the Northeast. Found a lot of things to love there. Then a few years later, followed it again to Dallas. Found a lot of things to love here too. The second move triggered the break up of a relationship. Looking back, it was the right choice.

ysette9

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Standing ovation for FG. Only Laura33 could have put it better.
Yes, +1

Quote
Dude. This is not running away from your problems. This is SOLVING YOUR PROBLEMS. This is the literal definition of the perfect answer to everything you've been not dealing with. Your horribly messed-up sexless relationship, your passivity and acceptance of playing the role of martyr, your dead-end job that isn't using your skills or challenging your intelligence or offering you a single rung up the ladder for advancement let alone reasonable pay, a change of scene, a chance to move to someplace where you already have friends and support system there and willing to give you a place to live and help you out and be social with you... great zombie jesus, do you want them to bake you a plate of cookies and give you a back massage in addition before you wake up and see this is the kind of opportunity that most people would kill for? This is the fucking Deus ex machina divine intervention that silly/great movie plots hinge on - you're not possibly going to pass this up are you?

This especially was glorious.
Agreed

Fomerly known as something

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I"ll just add my 2 cents.  Go, go.

I was offered a career out of college, the catch was this midwestern girl had to start in NYC where I had no connects and no real desire to live.  (I wasn't going to have to stay there, just start there), the best thing I did in life was taking the chance and taking the job.

Assetup

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Huge pay raise, potentially free rent and a lot of room to grow.  Don't even factor your relationship into this and go.  It seems like a no brainier if everything you have been posting is unbiased and factual

Linea_Norway

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About the going back to your current boss and ask for a raise, that will probably lead nowhere. You will not learn new skills there. Your career will stagnate. Changing jobs and learning new skills through the years are they way to develop your career. Take this chance!

zoochadookdook

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About the going back to your current boss and ask for a raise, that will probably lead nowhere. You will not learn new skills there. Your career will stagnate. Changing jobs and learning new skills through the years are they way to develop your career. Take this chance!


Well, the idea was they would hire me directly in 6 months from the start date with a salary/pay increase and benefits. They also mentioned opportunities to transfer between jobs in the company which would be a plus. I figured If I am ready to accept this other job it can't hurt to take it to HR?

ysette9

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For a normal situation I would agree with you. In your situation though you seem to be your own worst enemy, looking for excuses to not seize the day and taking a leap out of your comfort zone into something that will make you grow and explore and learn and become a better person. My fear is that you go to HR and they counter with a 5% or 10% raise and you say “great!” and then take it and stay in your rut, passing on a great opportunity to grow professionally and intellectually and emotionally. Please don’t do that to yourself. Go be bold and brave.

BicycleB

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+1 ysette ^

No excuses.

Do not say another word to anyone in your current state of residence. Accept the Texas offer. Silently pack your necessities into the vehicle you will drive to Texas. Email a local real estate agent requesting that they sell your house for you. Silently sign a contract with them if you must do so in person.

Email your girlfriend/ex/fiancee/fear partner that she has 30 days to vacate the premises which you are selling. On the internet, look up the procedures for evicting someone in your state. Follow the notice procedures, again informing Fearful Ex that she must move from your house in 30 days. Do not speak, pack.

Anything you own goes in the dump unless you pack it. When your stuff is out of the house and in the vehicle, drive it in the direction of Texas. Sleep at rest stops. When you arrive in San Antonio, rent a motel room for one night and clean up. Rent an apartment and move in. Start work as soon as they want you.

Cons: Fear

Pros: Your life will improve

mm1970

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For a normal situation I would agree with you. In your situation though you seem to be your own worst enemy, looking for excuses to not seize the day and taking a leap out of your comfort zone into something that will make you grow and explore and learn and become a better person. My fear is that you go to HR and they counter with a 5% or 10% raise and you say “great!” and then take it and stay in your rut, passing on a great opportunity to grow professionally and intellectually and emotionally. Please don’t do that to yourself. Go be bold and brave.
Yes, this.  You are looking for excuses to stay in a rut that you need to pull yourself out of.  You aren't in a place, a job, a company, a relationship that you love EXCEPT FOR THE PAY.  In that case, SURE!  Take it to HR.

In this case - no just GO.

zoochadookdook

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+1 ysette ^

No excuses.

Do not say another word to anyone in your current state of residence. Accept the Texas offer. Silently pack your necessities into the vehicle you will drive to Texas. Email a local real estate agent requesting that they sell your house for you. Silently sign a contract with them if you must do so in person.

Email your girlfriend/ex/fiancee/fear partner that she has 30 days to vacate the premises which you are selling. On the internet, look up the procedures for evicting someone in your state. Follow the notice procedures, again informing Fearful Ex that she must move from your house in 30 days. Do not speak, pack.

Anything you own goes in the dump unless you pack it. When your stuff is out of the house and in the vehicle, drive it in the direction of Texas. Sleep at rest stops. When you arrive in San Antonio, rent a motel room for one night and clean up. Rent an apartment and move in. Start work as soon as they want you.

Cons: Fear

Pros: Your life will improve

Jesus christ lol

YYK

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+1 ysette ^

No excuses.

Do not say another word to anyone in your current state of residence. Accept the Texas offer. Silently pack your necessities into the vehicle you will drive to Texas. Email a local real estate agent requesting that they sell your house for you. Silently sign a contract with them if you must do so in person.

Email your girlfriend/ex/fiancee/fear partner that she has 30 days to vacate the premises which you are selling. On the internet, look up the procedures for evicting someone in your state. Follow the notice procedures, again informing Fearful Ex that she must move from your house in 30 days. Do not speak, pack.

Anything you own goes in the dump unless you pack it. When your stuff is out of the house and in the vehicle, drive it in the direction of Texas. Sleep at rest stops. When you arrive in San Antonio, rent a motel room for one night and clean up. Rent an apartment and move in. Start work as soon as they want you.

Cons: Fear

Pros: Your life will improve

Jesus christ lol

I agree with BicycleB, and everyone else. This is the abrupt change that you really, really need. Don't regret missing this opportunity.

zoochadookdook

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Yeah I mean so she's mentioned she wouldn't mind moving if she knew we were going forward towards marriage so obviously that's a conflict of interest.

From a job standpoint, you can't ask for much more of a leg up. Paid for certs, starting good base salary, a few friends in the company working directly with, etc.

The girlfriend is a tipping point. Staying together and moving isn't working unless I agree to the conditions (kids in a few years etc) which I can't seem to figure out. Staying together short term at distance may be an option but I'm guessing commitment to moving would be a catalyst towards all that. Already she's been looking for options for jobs up here/other ways I can work remote etc. I think the thing that sucks is just her perspective I would choose this job over my life here. 

On the other hand I'd kick myself in the teeth if I didn't take it. 99% sure I'm taking it-arranging for a flight the 12-14 just to visit the area and see the company and I guess we'll see how everything goes from there after I give my answer.

That being said I'm not just leaving overnight. I have a ton of stuff/the house and belongings I'd have to figure out (either renting/selling/keeping and using when I come back to visit etc).

Linea_Norway

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About moving cross country. Maybe you can do your final move by car and bring along what fits in there. For most of your other, not personal stuff, like furniture, you can sell where you live now and buy used where you will live later. Shouldn't cost much, apart from some time and effort. Maybe you can move into a furnished rental to start with.

When you move, I wouldn't commit to a long term faithful relationship. This would not let you florish in the new city. You might do something that breaks the promise and you might feel bad about it. Just break up, with the distance and your current impasse as arguments. If it turns out you really miss each other, you can always get back together.

Sibley

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Go. Take it.

ysette9

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Staying together and moving isn't working unless I agree to the conditions (kids in a few years etc) which I can't seem to figure out. Staying together short term at distance may be an option but I'm guessing commitment to moving would be a catalyst towards all that. Already she's been looking for options for jobs up here/other ways I can work remote etc. I think the thing that sucks is just her perspective I would choose this job over my life here. 


You have figured this out already. You just aren’t being honest with yourself. There are only two possible answers to the question “do you want to marry me and start a family?” One answer is a full-hearted, enthusiastic “yes!” Anything else is a hard “no”. You are misinterpreting a squishy “I’m not totally 100% no yet” as something that might become a “yes”, but there is massive ground between that position and an enthusiastic “yes!”.

Please also reframe this: you would not be choosing a job over your life here. You would be choosing to live your life for the first time in a long while over continuing to be stuck in a holding pattern with her.

lhamo

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Move.

If, 6-12 months down the line you decide you really prefer being with her, you can still invite her to join you.  If she does not want to at that point, then this relationship was not right for either of you.  And if you decide you DON'T want her to join you, that's fine too.

caracarn

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Staying together and moving isn't working unless I agree to the conditions (kids in a few years etc)
You do understand that if you placed this statement on a note with letters cut out from a magazine it might make it easier for you to see it for what it is; blackmail/ransom......

JLee

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Yeah I mean so she's mentioned she wouldn't mind moving if she knew we were going forward towards marriage so obviously that's a conflict of interest.

From a job standpoint, you can't ask for much more of a leg up. Paid for certs, starting good base salary, a few friends in the company working directly with, etc.

The girlfriend is a tipping point. Staying together and moving isn't working unless I agree to the conditions (kids in a few years etc) which I can't seem to figure out. Staying together short term at distance may be an option but I'm guessing commitment to moving would be a catalyst towards all that. Already she's been looking for options for jobs up here/other ways I can work remote etc. I think the thing that sucks is just her perspective I would choose this job over my life here. 

On the other hand I'd kick myself in the teeth if I didn't take it. 99% sure I'm taking it-arranging for a flight the 12-14 just to visit the area and see the company and I guess we'll see how everything goes from there after I give my answer.

That being said I'm not just leaving overnight. I have a ton of stuff/the house and belongings I'd have to figure out (either renting/selling/keeping and using when I come back to visit etc).

This job is an awesome opportunity.  Your life here sucks and needs to change.

Is that a fair assessment?

You need to leave. Alone.

BicycleB

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I think the thing that sucks is just her perspective I would choose this job over my life here. 


It does suck...for her.

IIRC, some guy named zoochadookdook claimed upthread that maybe his relationship was a little codependent. To emerge from codependency, you must stop taking care of her feelings. Her perspective is her responsibility and she can change it. Her grief, panic, terror, frustration at not controlling you, shame at being unmarried or whatever she experiences are...um...HERS.

She's not going to get through her feelings until you quit maintaining this weakened status for her, this status in which you respond to her pleas, take her side against yourself, provide financial and emotional hints of a lifeline while believing that she is weak and helpless. You must let her sink. Only then will she learn to swim. (It's possible she'll just start manipulating someone else, but if you dump her and firmly break contact, at least she'll have a chance to grow. She won't grow as long as you stay in touch. For her sake, go.) Once you leave, her inner tigress may emerge.

It doesn't suck for her because you leave. It sucks for her because you both clung to frustrated dreams long after their expiration date.

I only say this so bluntly because you raised the issue in this thread, after several hundred posts exchanged on related threads, yet so far have in practice ignored the answers. I admit "99% certain" to move sounds good, but I don't take it at face value yet due to the many contradictory posts. Hopefully you will prove my skepticism wrong. I'm rooting for you.

I have a ton of stuff/the house and belongings I'd have to figure out (either renting/selling/keeping and using when I come back to visit etc).

Kind of suspected that. Hence, the "Jesus Christ lol" procedure, as you called it. If you follow the Way of Silent ACTION, you'll be able to figure out goods disposal quickly and move towards the new job in a timely manner.

Also, if you follow it, my feelings will be less hurt about whether you value my wonderful suggestions!  (Kidding, sort of. It just occurred to me that if you respond to others' feelings, maybe mine will help you move. Sorry if I stepped over a line there.)

mspym

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It does suck. Change sucks but it is also the only way to grow and stretch. Dude- you are rootbound! The fear and pain is feeling returning to your roots after being trapped in a too small pot for too long.

At this point, I have read both your threads and I am out. When it comes down to it, no one can make you change. We can't. Your ex can't. The only person who can take action is you and if you want you can stay exactly where you are, in the difficult-easy of restless mediocrity, discontented but unwilling to bear even the tiniest discomfort to get to a better place.

RetiredAt63

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Re stuff, I  am moving from a 3 bedroom house to a 1 bedroom plus den apartment. All the outdoor stuff and over half the indoor stuff is not coming with me. A lot of what is not coming with me is stuff from my parents and grandparents, all of whom are dead so the things are full of memories. But, it is just stuff. Very little is irreplaceable.

This is a golden opportunity,  go. And you know you are not doing your GF any favours by staying in the relationship, you both need a relationship with people who are really enthusiastic about you.

zoochadookdook

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Anyways I'm booking a flight down the 11/12th to go see it. I don't see how I could turn this down. We'll see how the conversation this weekend goes.

Any notes on informing my current job/boss on acceptance? I assume 2 weeks standard but as a contractor don't think they'd really care/need it. I feel bad as my boss is super cool/doesn't hassle me or such but hey that's life.

ysette9

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Good for you! Good luck and please keep us posted. We are all rooting for you and hope this turns out to be a wonderful career and life opportunity that you've been looking for.

Don't say anything until you have a signed offer in writing. Once you do, 2 weeks is a good amount of time for notice. Technically I have always been an "at will" employee, meaning they could show me the door at any time for any reason, and I could quit at any time for any reason. In practice I've always seen people give 2 weeks unless they are walked out for some kind of fraud.

caracarn

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I would absolutely give 2 weeks.  Not only is it standard, it does not burn bridges and even though moving to a new city, it can be amazing how things work.  I had a new boss come in to one company when I worked in IL.  I left and moved to TN for a job.  When I left that job, he was the guy who took my job in TN.  We did not run into each other per se, but when I then moved to OH and left my first job here, I actually watched his LinkedIn profile to see if he took that job too.  He did not but it was weird enough I watched it.  So you never know how that boss might play in your career again.  He's not causing you pain now.  Leave on good terms.

Slow&Steady

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I would absolutely give 2 weeks.  Not only is it standard, it does not burn bridges and even though moving to a new city, it can be amazing how things work.  I had a new boss come in to one company when I worked in IL.  I left and moved to TN for a job.  When I left that job, he was the guy who took my job in TN.  We did not run into each other per se, but when I then moved to OH and left my first job here, I actually watched his LinkedIn profile to see if he took that job too.  He did not but it was weird enough I watched it.  So you never know how that boss might play in your career again.  He's not causing you pain now.  Leave on good terms.

I can agree with this... I have reached out to old bosses in the past and used them not only as a reference but as a contact to get my foot in the door somewhere new.  Do not burn the boss bridge.

ysette9

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Hi there. I see from another thread you started that you are alive and working on making your new job a go. I hope you are doing well and just wanted to say that we haven’t forgotten about you. Wishing you the best.