Author Topic: Uprooting my life for a career opportunity in another state. Pros and cons?  (Read 4671 times)

zoochadookdook

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Hi all,

I received a call last night from my buddy "X". X's father is a higher up at a big company in Texas. X has informed me that there is a salary position with benefits available if I want it-but it is in Texas and I would have to relocate.

This new job would be 40 hours a week/unlimited pto policy (obviously don't abuse) with healthcare matched and possibly a 401 match (or later on). Pay would be 70k/salary. 2 of my friends work for the company, X is one and Z is the other; we grew up together so I wouldn't be completely isolated. The job would be for a junior PM position. It would be technical but real work. Told it has the pathway to make 6 figures within several years. 

My current position is paying 22/hr with no benefits. 8-5 with mandatory 1-hour unpaid lunch/week (ew). I've been here 3 months (in another 3 option for a reassessment of hiring direct). Benefits at the point would be decent PTO, a day or so ability to work remote a week, healthcare, a slight 401k match-no idea what starting salary would be. I've been told there are options to move to different departments but haven't made it to HR yet. I work in configurations which is sort of clerical work for SOWs and RFPs and such. The company atmosphere is good though and the commute is 15 minutes.

I own a house, my parents live locally, my girlfriend of 8 years just accepted a teaching position here starting in a few months, I can make at least 1-2000 on a side hustle part-time in the area (would probably scale fine to the other area as well), No kids, dogs; and I'm just confused in general on whether I should or shouldn't consider actually taking this position.

My degree is in MIS and this other job seems to have much more room for advancement/analytical work and showing I can learn and apply technical knowledge.

On the other hand, maybe I should schedule with HR in my current position to see what pay would be like if I was directly hired/if there is an opportunity for advancement or movement to other business departments in the future? I don't want them to cut me for considering a different position though (right to work contract eh?)

Has anyone contemplated/taken or turned down a move for a career opportunity? How'd you approach it? What did you compare? How did you approach your other employer once offered a new position? Just looking for tips/others experiences

therethere

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Wow what an opportunity! Project Management can open a ton of doors both career and money wise. That being said, it's not a career for everyone. You're young so it could be worth a shot to try your hand. You'll learn a lot so if it's not for you, you'd be able to segue your experience to other positions pretty easily.

Project management is typically very demanding. Depending on what industry or company you could also travel a lot or none at all. You may be expected to be available after hours for phone calls or emergencies. I'd learn more about the position. What industry. What size projects. What is your support system (other PMs, etc.). Is the company pretty stable or do they tend to do hiring/layoffs frequently.

New company would likely have relocation benefits or a signup bonus to help with the costs of the move. Depending on how profitable/big the company is they may also help with the home sale.

As for the personal side of the question... I've had to move for both of my jobs. I expect to have to move when I look for my next job. It's the nature of the beast.
 Engineers and PM type roles usually have to move to get new positions. Typically you'll get pidgeonholed into a specific industry and then you have to find new jobs in whatever cities those industries are in. The US is a big place with lots to explore. I stayed way too long in a city I hated like and rejected several offers to relocate to cities I immediately dismissed. I wish I took more risks with jobs and locations early in my career. I enjoy where I ended up, but wished I switched it up more often when I was young and flexible.

« Last Edit: June 20, 2019, 10:45:08 AM by therethere »

Malkynn

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Go.

Don't think twice about it and go.

We all know by now that you need some serious change in your life and I think that restarting in a new place is a GREAT idea.

Better Change

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Bye bye, Michigan!

Ask a Manager can help you with the job-related questions you have.  It's a useful website for that kind of stuff.  Basically you don't want to go waving this offer in front of your current employer's face, because yep, you're now a flight risk, and they will not look favorably upon your great new position.  During a downturn, you'll be the first on the chopping block.  The vast majority of us is replaceable.

But personally.....go.  Rent your home to your (soon to be ex?) girlfriend if it makes you feel better about leaving.  Um...assuming she won't trash the place, of course.  Use this as an opportunity to "go find yourself" and figure out what you want out of life, all while making a lot more money. 


kei te pai

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Off you go! Take your opportunities now, dont be too cautious. Dont risk being forty and look back wishing you had been braver.

Linea_Norway

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This is a good opportunity to do the breakup with your girlfriend/roommate and start over again. You will move to a place where you have some pals. Let the company pay for the move. I think you could sell your current place for a clean cut off with the GF.

JLee

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Why are we suggesting breaking up with the gf? Did I miss something?

Malkynn

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Why are we suggesting breaking up with the gf? Did I miss something?

Many, many, many pages.
And yes, he should go without his girlfriend.


zoochadookdook

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Why are we suggesting breaking up with the gf? Did I miss something?

Many, many, many pages.
And yes, he should go without his girlfriend.

So many pages- although to put in in TLDR terms
She wants to get married/is waiting for me to say I want kids. I do not know when/if I'll want kids. We are very in limbo currently.

To compound that-she just got a perfect first job in the local area. It's her hometown etc. If I am not planning on marrying her-which right now I am not doing and she understands that-we would not be moving together.

JLee

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Ahhh. I see.

It may be time to GTFO.  8 years is a long time, and the people you were right out of high school were probably quite different than the people you are today.

Slow&Steady

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I have not read the many many pages about girlfriend/current situation/etc. but I have a general comment.

What if you rephrased the question you are asking yourself?  Would your internal response change if you asked the question with different words?

Pros/Cons of uprooting my life for a career opportunity in another state?

vs

Pros/Cons of accepting an offer that might jump start my career?

or

Pros/Cons of taking a once in a lifetime (maybe) opportunity to start my life over, with a job offer in another state?

I believe that a lot of our internal responses to things are dictated by the way something presented to us.  Think of it in a positive light and you will be excited about it, think of it in a negative light and you will dread it.

zoochadookdook

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I have not read the many many pages about girlfriend/current situation/etc. but I have a general comment.

What if you rephrased the question you are asking yourself?  Would your internal response change if you asked the question with different words?

Pros/Cons of uprooting my life for a career opportunity in another state?

vs

Pros/Cons of accepting an offer that might jump start my career?

or

Pros/Cons of taking a once in a lifetime (maybe) opportunity to start my life over, with a job offer in another state?

I believe that a lot of our internal responses to things are dictated by the way something presented to us.  Think of it in a positive light and you will be excited about it, think of it in a negative light and you will dread it.

Oh it's definitly a matter of how you view it; the issue I have is I over analyze every little catagory. Well this would suck but this would be good but this would suck but this.....etc.

caleb

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Go, based on what you've posted there's no question.

JLee

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For what it's worth, I had a similar situation. I had a decent but underpaying job with shitty benefits (2 weeks vacation) in an area that I loved and was settled into (owned a house, etc). I had an opportunity in an area I didn't really want to move to, but it was enticing enough that I did.  I ended up doubling my salary, building an awesome new social network, and overall my life is even more awesome than it was before.

Sometimes you just have to jump.

MonkeyJenga

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Go. No question.

former player

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Quite often the difference between a lucrative career and a lifetime of working/middle class wages is having this kind of opportunity: it isn't just immediately about the money (although the money sounds good), it's that once you are in a job at this level people will see your abilities, status and earning capacity in a completely different light from the starter job you have at the moment.  It springboards you into a completely different category of employment, and it is a golden chance to put your working life on a steep upwards trajectory.

And yes, it gives you the excuse you seem to need to end a situation with your ex-girlfriend that has bound both of you up in a situation that is going nowhere good.  I'm glad to hear that she has got a job as a teacher: that gives her too the opportunity to move onwards and upwards in life.

Put the house on the market.  Whatever it's meant in your life up to now, from now onwards it's only pinning you down to something that's not working for you. 

use2betrix

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Iíve lived in 8 states in the last 8 years for work. Iíve lived in Texas three different times. Your long term gf, who is basically your wife, would she be fine with coming to Texas?

Also - is this in a decent place in Texas? Austin/Houston/San Antonio/Dallas are a very different animal than Pecos or Beaumont...

Texas is also hot, and sucks more IMO than most northern states (I like the north). It all varies deeply by specific location, however. The pay goes a long ways, and I have chosen TX and other subpar locations because of this. Again, thatís just me, Texas has more die hard people than probably any other state.

Malkynn

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Your long term gf, who is basically your wife, would she be fine with coming to Texas?

No, no she isn't at all "basically his wife", and she shouldn't go with him.

red_pill

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Check out Time Ferris's TED talk on fear setting.  Might help you out.   But dude, just go.   All kinds of upside that you can't get (easily) where you are, and not much downside that can't be easily rectified.   

Jon Bon

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Take the job and don't look back.

I read a bit of your posts and it really sounds like both of you need a fresh start, this is your chance. Opportunity only knocks once.


mlipps

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I've been quietly reading your relationship thread without having anything to add, so I want to just pile on here and see GO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO. I've been in your shoes. Breaking up with someone you love is so hard, no matter the circumstances. Starting a new job in a new place is hard. All of this is scary. Nonetheless, this is an amazing opportunity. I look back now and thank my 24 year old self every day for having the courage to walk away from an unhappy relationship and start a grad program that scared the crap out of me. I am 10,000 times happier now than I would have been if I'd stayed in my comfortable and familiar life, but it was HARD at the time. Have courage. This will pay off. Make the leap!

jps

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This sounds like a sweet opportunity. I'd go for it. Who knows what the future holds, but this is a great way to start to find out!

tyrannostache

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I'm going to add to the chorus piling on to say GO! GO! GO! This is the perfect opportunity to get a fresh start. Embrace the fear that you're feeling. Go.

doggyfizzle

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Where in Texas?  Having spent a lot of time in that State, there aren't many places I'd consider uprooting myself for a new job.  Austin and surrounding areas maybe, but West Texas is a nope, Dallas nope, Houston f-no, and San Antonio....maybe.  With a degree in MIS you're being grossly underpaid now at $22/hour, and $70k+ benefits would likely go far in Texas, but consider your time away from work as well before you make the jump.  It isn't that there's not a lot of recreation opportunities in Texas, but the lack of significant Federal recreation land in Texas (dating back to statehood), with the exception of Big Bend is kind of a bummer for me.

therethere

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Where in Texas?  Having spent a lot of time in that State, there aren't many places I'd consider uprooting myself for a new job.  Austin and surrounding areas maybe, but West Texas is a nope, Dallas nope, Houston f-no, and San Antonio....maybe.  With a degree in MIS you're being grossly underpaid now at $22/hour, and $70k+ benefits would likely go far in Texas, but consider your time away from work as well before you make the jump.  It isn't that there's not a lot of recreation opportunities in Texas, but the lack of significant Federal recreation land in Texas (dating back to statehood), with the exception of Big Bend is kind of a bummer for me.

I agree. Texas was always on my hell-no list. But, if you're going to go might as well do it when you're young and can throw yourself into the job. 1-3 years would be plenty of experience to then get a new PM job somewhere else.

zoochadookdook

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Where in Texas?  Having spent a lot of time in that State, there aren't many places I'd consider uprooting myself for a new job.  Austin and surrounding areas maybe, but West Texas is a nope, Dallas nope, Houston f-no, and San Antonio....maybe.  With a degree in MIS you're being grossly underpaid now at $22/hour, and $70k+ benefits would likely go far in Texas, but consider your time away from work as well before you make the jump.  It isn't that there's not a lot of recreation opportunities in Texas, but the lack of significant Federal recreation land in Texas (dating back to statehood), with the exception of Big Bend is kind of a bummer for me.

The opportunity is in San Antonio

zoochadookdook

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Thanks all;

I have a probe call with my buddies father (who would be doing the actual hiring) today. I'm trying to compile a list of questions for him regarding hours, training, benifits, moving costs stiphon?, flextime, room for career advancement etc. Any ideas on what else to ask?


therethere

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Thanks all;

I have a probe call with my buddies father (who would be doing the actual hiring) today. I'm trying to compile a list of questions for him regarding hours, training, benifits, moving costs stiphon?, flextime, room for career advancement etc. Any ideas on what else to ask?

Definitely ask about travel expectations (if any). How many projects would you cover? Would you be directly in charge or is there a secondary PM (if it's not on-site project management)?

I'd also setup a call with your old friends to see a more real perspective. Policy and manager answers don't always showcase the real expectations and environment. He's trying to sell you on it while others that would be at your level aren't gaining too much so will likely give you some more real feedback. How often are deliverables changed on short notice?

former player

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Don't forget to sell yourself: ask about what the expectations in the job are and be prepared to talk about how you can meet them.  Ask how they provide training and where the job might take your career.  Also, be prepared to talk a bit about how moving to Texas will impact you personally: your friends are already there, your martial arts hobby will move with you (maybe google a gym near your future workplace?) - if they are going to the trouble of recruiting from across the USA they may want to know you can make a success of the move in personal terms.

Hours, benefits, travel requirements and flextime are necessary information but secondary: they are more important once you've got a definite offer (unless of course you already know this is a sure thing).

Cassie

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The only problem I see is that you are following your GF. Itís going to be more difficult to stay apart if you are in the same town.

former player

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The only problem I see is that you are following your GF. Itís going to be more difficult to stay apart if you are in the same town.
nooooo.. surely not. Surely the not-girlfriend is staying in home town and new job is with friends X and Z?  That's how I read OP's post, anyway.

Cassie

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Former, I hope I am wrong.

ender

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Former, I hope I am wrong.


To compound that-she just got a perfect first job in the local area. It's her hometown etc. If I am not planning on marrying her-which right now I am not doing and she understands that-we would not be moving together.

mandy_2002

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For me this would be an easy heck no. Sun, heat, and humidity are three of my least favorite things. Texas is about 800 miles south of my minimum US latitude.

mspym

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I have blown up my life twice now  (25 and 35) and both times it was absolutely the right thing to do. Sometimes you have to move far away from the people and circumstances that make it easy for you to stay in a rut. Whether or not you love Texas/this job making any change at all is a Good Thing because it starts the pattern of being a person who is looking for a better/happier life. It doesn't have to be forever but why not give it a try?

Miss Piggy

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Thanks all;

I have a probe call with my buddies father (who would be doing the actual hiring) today. I'm trying to compile a list of questions for him regarding hours, training, benifits, moving costs stiphon?, flextime, room for career advancement etc. Any ideas on what else to ask?

Hey man...I'm not in the business of nitpicking people's spelling and grammar on the web, but since you are in the process of applying for a new job, I feel compelled to provide a couple of minor corrections so you can look as smart as you are to the new potential employer if you type these words out again:

Benefits

Stipend (especially this correction!)

Best wishes to you. I'm firmly in the "GO!!!" camp with many others here. This offer sounds like a gift being handed to you on a silver platter at a time when you could really use it (for so many reasons).

zoochadookdook

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Thanks all;

I have a probe call with my buddies father (who would be doing the actual hiring) today. I'm trying to compile a list of questions for him regarding hours, training, benifits, moving costs stiphon?, flextime, room for career advancement etc. Any ideas on what else to ask?

Hey man...I'm not in the business of nitpicking people's spelling and grammar on the web, but since you are in the process of applying for a new job, I feel compelled to provide a couple of minor corrections so you can look as smart as you are to the new potential employer if you type these words out again:

Benefits

Stipend (especially this correction!)

Best wishes to you. I'm firmly in the "GO!!!" camp with many others here. This offer sounds like a gift being handed to you on a silver platter at a time when you could really use it (for so many reasons).

Yeah; I generally have Grammarly installed but for some reason, this site doesn't like to use it. Punctually I'm better than this forum lets on.

zoochadookdook

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So to update.

Got a call with friend and friends father (who it turns out is the CIO of the parent company-I grew up with this family)

It's basically an internship/pm entry program. They'd send me out for any certs/training. Have a company apartment/place for me to stay if I wanted to just check out the area etc. I would be under the supervision of several Project Managers and would be working towards the goal of being hired into the main company. Apparently, the father has lots of influence and it wouldn't be an issue moving up/being set up in a comfortable career (his son and my other friend have been in the company and are doing well).

Even the father brought up it is a hard decision things considered with the GF (he kind of understands the situation). He didn't push at all and said they'd like a soft answer in the next 2 weeks so they know if they can arrange for me to get onboard.

Obviously, this has created conflict between the GF and myself. It is a weird situation and I do feel like it is a "easy exit" as she put it. I feel like I would be running away from issues but it also sounds like a pretty good opportunity.

mm1970

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Go.

Don't think twice about it and go.

We all know by now that you need some serious change in your life and I think that restarting in a new place is a GREAT idea.
I was going to go into this long, drawn out explanation and all but...as usual Malkynn says it best.

Slow&Steady

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Obviously, this has created conflict between the GF and myself. It is a weird situation and I do feel like it is a "easy exit" as she put it. I feel like I would be running away from issues but it also sounds like a pretty good opportunity.

Who gives a shit if it is an "easy exit" take the easy ones, so you have bandwidth for the hard ones.

Who gives a shit if you are "running away from an issue", some issues are worth running away from.

Who would you impress by not taking the "easy exit" or "running away"?  Your GF?  She is probably going to hate you no matter what, no need to impress her by ending it the way she thinks is the most honorable.

meerkat

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... and I do feel like it is a "easy exit" as she put it. I feel like I would be running away from issues but it also sounds like a pretty good opportunity.

Would you feel better if this was a "hard exit"?

Go. Seriously. Go. At the very least, go check it out and learn more about it in person (but after that, seriously, pack up all your stuff and go.)

JLee

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An easy exit is the best exit, and some issues are worth running away from.

DeepEllumStache

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This isnít an easy exit, itís a fabulous opportunity to jump start your career. Do it.

MrThatsDifferent

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The universe has made a path for you. Take it.

charis

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What, you haven't offered her a pound of flesh yet?  GTFO and recognize that the biggest "issue" was your inability to extract yourself from this toxic relationship, for years. 

iris lily

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Obviously, this has created conflict between the GF and myself. It is a weird situation and I do feel like it is a "easy exit" as she put it. I feel like I would be running away from issues but it also sounds like a pretty good opportunity.

Who gives a shit if it is an "easy exit" take the easy ones, so you have bandwidth for the hard ones.

Who gives a shit if you are "running away from an issue", some issues are worth running away from.

Who would you impress by not taking the "easy exit" or "running away"?  Your GF?  She is probably going to hate you no matter what, no need to impress her by ending it the way she thinks is the most honorable.

So much this.

I did deleted my lecture. But for gods sake, take this opportunity to figure out who you are and live your life.

Texas weather may suck and that is fine, you donít have to stay there forever.


pachnik

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The universe has made a path for you. Take it.

Exactly this.  The universe wants you out of that unhealthy situation.   

erutio

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You got to make this move, man.

You chose the word "uprooting" in your title, but are you really uprooting?  At your status quo, you have a job, not a career.  A co-dependency, not a relationship.  No kids.  You're not really rooted there.   You can and should sell that house.  The universe is telling you something!


Cool Friend

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...I do feel like it is a "easy exit" as she put it. I feel like I would be running away from issues but it also sounds like a pretty good opportunity.

Nothing about having an easy exit and running away from this situation is a bad thing. You're not going to get extra Good Person Points for choosing the hardest way out, or simply "toughing it out" in a relationship that is so obviously untenable.

Of course she wants you to feel bad for considering this--any choice that doesn't involve marrying her without her having to meet you halfway doesn't interest  her.  Your wants are not important to her.  Your needs are not important to her.  Your happiness is not important to her.  The only thing that matters to her is getting what she sadly thinks will fix all her self-esteem issues.

Don't be a martyr for a person who, when it comes down to it, does not actually care about You.
 

ysette9

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This isnít an easy exit, itís a fabulous opportunity to jump start your career. Do it.
I actually donít like anything about Texas and I am jumping up and down (figuratively) for you to grab this excellent opportunity. I have changed jobs many times in my career, even moving temporarily for positions that pushed my outside my comfort zone. Even the positions I ended up hating were all good moves for me. I learned a lot, expanded my network, got broader perspective, and kept my resume fresh.

Iíve already spoken up on the personal side on your other thread so I wonít belabor that bit. Purely from a career perspective moving around early in your career is the way to jump-start yourself to better opportunities.

Please, please, please take this. ;)